Wednesday, February 12, 2003
sigh...well i just thought i would add an entry since i have not had much to since i finally have net access again. but sadly there is not much of an update for now. i am sleepy and cranky and feeling yucky. mou...i need to write some more ficcies. i am in the mood to do a valentines one with *secret* :3 ::giggle:: atashi no valentine desu! more of a ficlet really. *dreamy look* but for now it is off to bed. oyasumi
06:10 a.m.
Sunday, February 9, 2003
back from the great beyond ;P
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
perfect huh? will someone tell the guys this! ha! i kid!
05:22 a.m.
Saturday, January 25, 2003
*gasp!*
DA.....DA....
::drool::
yeah, i'm bored.
10:02 a.m.
Saturday, January 25, 2003
a survey cuz i'm bored...
totally stolen from tracy ^^;
[Spell your first name backwards]: latsyrc
[How old?]: 21
[Where do you live?]: hell...uh, phoenix that is
[4 words that sum you up]: chaotic, sarcastic, dreamer, hopeful
(DESCRIBE YOUR:
[Wallet]: black with a cute panda head piccy (it's old though...)
[Hairbrush]: blue sparkly
[Jewelry worn daily]: glasses o_o; black rubber braclets
[Pillow cover]: flowery
[Coffee cup]: i LOVE coffee cups!!
[Shoes]: flat japanese-y sandles
[Handbag]: black 'shoulder' bag w/ a THE CURE pin on it
[Favorite top]: none yet
[Perfume]: oceanus (the body shop) or lavender spritz
[CD in stereo right now]: none, but listening to MIYAVI
[Piercings]: not enough
[What you are wearing now]: jeans and a baggy t shirt
[Hair]: curled and pretty and black
[Makeup]: um...yeah
[In my mouth]: MIYAVI...wait, i mean...uh...
[In my head]: ugh...
[Wishing]: h. i. m. i. t. s. u.!!
[After this]: random madness
[Talking to]: no one...::sad::
[Eating]: nuffin
[Fetishes]: ^_________________^ rrooorrwww...
[Some of your favorite movies]: chung king express, sen to chihiro no kamikakushi, harry potter, lotr
[The last thing you ate?]: pizza
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: death
[Do you like candles]: yes
[Do you like incense]: yes
[Do you believe in love]: i wish i did
[Do you believe in soul mates]: dun know
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: hmph...hell no
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: i try to
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: dragon, more hamsters, wolf, boys
[What are 3 states you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: california, hawaii, and either new york or seattle
[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: sweets, fast food
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: everything
[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: yes...
[What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow?]: happiness and rain ^^
In the last 24 hours, have you:
01. Cried: not yet
02. Bought something: a coffe for my mom
03. Gotten sick: always
04. Sang: no
05. Eaten: yes
06. Been kissed: yes
07. Felt stupid: always
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: grrrr....
09. Met someone new: nope
10. Moved on: i'm trying damn it!
11. Talk to an ex: yup
12. Missed an ex: unfortunately
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: no
14. Had a serious talk: nope
15. missed someone: yes
16. Hugged someone: yes
17. Fought with your parents: always
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: garh...yes...
Social Life:
01. Best girl friend: ....?
02. Best guy friend: ....?
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: ....?
04. If no, current dating partner: ....? geez...
05. Hobbies: reading, listening to music...uh, cleaning?? x_x
06. Pager: none
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: depends on my mood, i am adaptable
08. What type automobile do you drive: don't...can't
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: escalade! j/k
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: friends...if i had any ;P
11. Where is the best hangout: mall, coffee house
12. Do you have a job: ha! no
13. Do you attend church: not really
14. Do you like being around people: ::glare:: no, i don't
Who:
01. Have you known the longest: kelly <3
02. Do you argue the most with: kenneth. seriously
03. Do you always get along with: denise
04. Is the most trustworthy: >_>;;
05. Makes you laugh the most: i laugh @ everything cuz i'm retarded
06. Has been there through all the hard times: denise, kenneth (actually kenneth has been some of "the hard times")
07. Has the coolest parents: ??
08. Has the coolest siblings: ??
09. Is the most blunt: kenneth, me
10. Is the smartest: i dun know, i am dumbest ;P j/k
Personal:
01. Who is your role model: anyone creative and outgoing
02. What is some of your pet peeves: some? people w/ low self esteem, arrogant fucks, people who assume ect,ect...
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: uh, that would be a "yes"
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: um, yes
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: eh, not really
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yes
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
08. Rather be dumper or dumped: dumper
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": BLEGH!
10. Want someone you don't have right now: not really
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: nnn...
12. Do you want to get married: dun know yet, but not really
13. Do you want kids: not really
14. Do you believe in psychics: i don't think so
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: ...no
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: nice hair
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: happy
18. Are you happy with you: not yet
19. Are you happy with your life: not yet
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: to be more motivated and a stronger person with more $$$
[in the morning i am]: depends on my dream. sad lately
[all i need is/are]: music and mommy
[if i had one wish it would be]: ...
[love is]: i honestly don't know
[if i could see one person right now]: *secret*
[im afraid of]: everything
[i dream about]: ha! everything. god and death
[coke or pepsi]: they are both gross
[flowers or candy]: yes please! :D
[scruff or clean shaven]: the latter
[tall or short]: tall, but short can be cute too!
[what do u notice first?]: hips, hair, smile
[worst question to ask]: why don't you have job, why don't you have a boyfriend?
[makes u laugh the most?]: everything
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: hamsters
[has a crush on u?]: duh, no one
[can make u feel better no matter what]: denise
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: both
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to i.m u?]: nope
[save e-mails]: yup
[wish u were a member of the opposite sex]: only if i could be hot, and asian =^.^=
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: oh god...all the fucking time
[been rejected]: yes
[rejected someone]: yes
[used someone]: yes
[been cheated on]: not really
[done something u regret]: heh, story of my life
[u talked to]: myself
[u hugged]: myself...ooooo
[u laughed with]: myself
[color ur hair]: black :3
[ever get off the computer]: not if i can help it
[habla espanol]: eh, nani?
have you/do you/are you
[smoke]: ugh, have before
[obsessive]: why, yes. yes i am
[could u live without the computer?]: i try not to think of such unpleasant things
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: o_o;;;;
[whats ur favorite food?]: azn of course
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: mmm...fruit! lychee=good
[drink alcohol?]: hell yes
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: sadly yes. i trust everyone i meet
final questions
[i want]: more
[i wish]: *secret* things
[i love]: yes i do
[i miss]: my youth and other secret things
[i fear]: death
[i hear]: plastic tree-abstruct my life o_O; oi...
[i wonder]: about everything and nothing
06:40 a.m.
1/16/03
god...i hate things right now. i just wanna curl up and watch harry potter before i go to bed. maybe tomorrow i will start reading book 4 again since i only read it once. i need distraction.
05:24 a.m.
1/15/03
boy is this random
gackt...wears a thong...??? that is so wrong...but it feels so right! XD
i really miss the old days when i was a gundam wing fan girl...i was just thinking that. then again i was like 16 and just plain miss being 16.
11:20 a.m.
1/14/03
I couldn't resist...
i just had to post this. OMFG is that elf blushing? cute! ^__^ "Rivendell High"? LMAO!
12:59 p.m.
1/14/03
::rubs eyes:: WAH!!!! i'm sleepy. so how does this page look now? any better? blegh i can't tell. it doesn't matter i have a sweet piccy of kazuki! la! ugh, cleaned all night...sleep now...write more later. i swear i have been cleaning for like days now. blegh i am sooooooo dirty too. eep. i can't believe i am this dirty. mou...i want cream puffs. um, i think that's it.
12:30 p.m.
1/11/03
the dreaming...
blegh...okay, i know i already posted a bunch of times, but i needed to say i had such odd dreams for the little while i did sleep. they were just plain creepy. i hate dreams like these cuz it really feels like smeone is watching me in my dreams! and of course they are the dreams where, i know i am dreaming, but i can not wake my self up. i know i m dreaming, i know i can wake up, so i try and think ihave woken up. i see my room, the house the way it is, get up and walk around and talk to my family...but i have not woken up!!!! ::shivers:: scary. i
hate dreams where i think i have woken up but am still asleep. that is so wrong! i HATE IT!!! ARGH!
mou......this may sound totaly random, but i am so missing china town right now. mmm...need job, money, car.... ::hating life::
07:57 a.m.
1/11/03
yay!
wai! KAGRRA cosplay ^_____________^
07:42 a.m.
1/11/03
cold and missing my teddy bear...
yeah, i wish i could find my panda-kun so i could take it with me to nana's house if i go. i could take my cake-chan but panda-kun will match my outfit i want to wear.^___^
blegh...my night was sooooo weird. i thought, 'okay i will go to bed very early tonight' since i was sleepy around 9 pm. but at like 11pm mark shows up and wakes me up. o_o;; i'm like WTF! he was alone too which was weird. he was all, get dressed we're going somewhere. i thought it must all be some joke. then he explains how trish called him and invited him out to this desert party they were having and not to bring anyone. (i have my theories about why she said this) but e felt weird about going alone so he wanted to pick me up. okay, whatever. i get my clothes on and we go to meet them at denny's. we get there, and i guess she was pissed cuz everyone but 3 of her friends cancelled on her for the desert thing tonight. so she says, she's just gonna go home. -_-; i was just like, oh HELL NO you did not just drag my ass out of bed and have mark drive all the way to my house to come get me for nothing. i tried talking her dumb ass into going since the 2 friends with her seemed to still want to go. but she didn't want to. me and mark were pissed and just left. but in the parking lot we passed her truck. it turns out she left a buch of liqure in the bed of her truck!! god that was dumb of her. mark was like, 'lets jack it!' i thought he was kidding but i told him we should since she is such a dumb bitch. so he did!!! OMG i felt really bad at first but then i thought about it and was like, you know, she is such a fucking bitch to me. she is always pulling lame shit on me like that. plus if she was stupid enough to leave her shit in the bed of her truck on THE WEST SIDE someone was bound to take it. that was just stupid of her. i though of all the times she DITCHED me! in the desert, or in fucking tucson! yeah, she soooooo deserved it. whatever.
later we went to see denise. sigh......D.R.A.M.A! damn that girl gives me mad stress. i love her, but she gives me stress. yeah so it is like 7 am right now. i should get some sleep since we might go to nana's later. i am not sure i should go though. we will see. if i do go out anywhere, i really feel like wearing the new sweater i got at the mall friday. it is so cute and dolly. ^.^ it reminds me of one i saw from BSSB. wheeee! i'm gonna make a lil lacy head dress to go with my new sweater too. i just need the perfect fluff fluff skirt. now that i think about it, i have a lot of stuff to do as well. although i might not be able to get to it until next week. i have alot of cleaning to do plus, organize ALL my clothes to put up in my closet.
ps: OMG! i am listening to WHITE LOVE STORY by RAPHAEL. :D
i <3 <3 love this song. ::huggles new raphael cd:: yeah, it was part of my present from kenneth. raphael like totally rocks my mutha fuckin' socks! it is just so cute! ::sings along:: "merry christmas...it's white love story...."
06:48 a.m.
1/9/03
oooooohhh...
oooooh...i want one. and one of these in black! :D
06:23 a.m.
1/9/03
FUCK!!!!!!!
I AM HAVING LIVEJOURNAL ENVY!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! WHY ME?!!!! GARH!!!!!!!! EEEKKK! THE PAIN!!! ::cries:: ::is also green with envy of cosplayers:: mou...it hurts...eeee....
06:10 a.m.
1/9/03
I am one bad ass mo-fo!!!
oh my gosh, i need sleep. i had a pretty good day today. slept alot then went to wal-mart with mommy. i got a purty red velvet princess-y top and some other ish. yeah, i don't know why but i have been in a totally hyper mood all day. i was like laughing at EVERYTHING probably looking/sounding like a huge dork. but ah well ^^. when i got home denise and i totally dorked out and made charts and lists and stuff so we could organize our stuff. sigh...something like that.
i really should be in bed now. but i told mom i'd clean out the fridge before i went to bed. so yeah, i am like listening to H.O.T. and taking a break from cleaning to write this. ugh, it was soooooo fucking gross in the fridge. ::shivers:: but since i am listening to H.O.T., it is alright. listening to them makes me feel instantly cooler for some reason. yeah, a cool remover of rotten produce from the back of the fridge. mou......i am sooooo bored!!! oh, but this was too god damn funny. ::rolls around on the floor:: big daddy pimp yo! betta recognize! ::rolls around some more::
05:42 a.m.
1/8/03
yay yay!
it's raining, it's raining, yay! :D
07:00 a.m.
1/8/03
and on a slightly lighter note...
blegh, well you know nothing much has been going on. denise and mark and i went out tonight to denny's for some coffee. i am glad to see them cuz i have been wanting to get out of my house for the past few days. i actually had fun. i took my tarot deck and we took turns asking questions and giving our own opinions on the meanings of the different cards. :D that was way cool cuz it really helps me to familliarize my self with my deck. we asked the cards what card represented ourselves. mine was the daughter of the moon. ::smile:: most reassuring. and i even asked what kelly's was cuz i think of her when i think of tarot cards. well...lets just say her card was so uh, for lack of a better word "accurate" it was scary. ^^;; i must tell her about it later.
yeah so tonight was fun. although...it is like 6:30 and i am still up. and, not really wanting to go to bed now. ::listening to the escaflowne movie soundtrack:: you know, i really MUST get this dvd. i know i will be crying horribly by the end. yeesh. why am i so sensitive? (damn hitomi!!! why not just stay in gaia you bitch!!!) wah! hm...escaflowne...tarot cards...oh yeah, now i'm scared. so that is why i feared taot cards for years after watching the escaflowne tv series. ::shudders:: thin happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...
06:41 a.m.
1/8/03
Take My Hands...
hm, well i have not written in a few days so i guess i should. okay well lets start by saying monday i had a bad dream. it started out like any annoying random dream. but at the end, i dreamed i was in a dark place with someone (i think he was doctor) telling me my aunt had died an i should wake up now. i told him i didn't want to cuz i was too sad. but i woke up after a while and found out my aunt really had died. my sister told me which i think was the best for me since anyother memeber of my family would have just tried to cover my feelings with flowery phrses. where my sister told me strait out. i didn't cry. i wasn't really surprised. infact, i haven't really cried yet. i am sooooo trying not to think about it. distraction is a wonderful thing. although i know when i do, it will be pretty bad. i am very worried about my mom and grandma who don't deal with things very easily. and i am sad. i have been since christmas about this whole thing. but i really trying very hard not to. it feels so awful to know she will not be ther at her little house anymore. no more hugs or visits. i miss her like crazy and i am not sure what to be thinking right now. my mood fluctuates from sad and depressed to giggly and hyper happy to somber to hopeful and content. i am not sure why my moods are changing so much. no thought triggers the change, it just happens and my thoughts change accordingly. -_-; sux. i don't know what to think or what to do. i already told them i would not go to the funeral because i hate them. i hate going and refuse to see my sweet happy strong aunt, dead. sigh....i hurt. but it is not the time to think of such things. when is? i don't know.
"take my hands...and you will never be alone..."
06:20 a.m.
1/6/03
blegh, and sigh, and all that rot...
well...i got bored. changed some ish. does it look like crap? i can't tell. ::yawn:: very sleepy. i realy did not mean to stay up all night. it is soooooo scary how many hours you can loose on the internet. mouuu, i guess i should go to bed or something. yeah, okay.
09:58 a.m.
