adult entertainer? o_0...prostitution here I come!!...wth lorh...

hai so siann...none of the above jobs except for teaching and design appeal to me...and I'm not even sure I'm considered an extrovert because I really behave differently with different people...but I think there's a character trait that everyone I know will agree that I have: aloofness...I think alot of people wrote that about me when ms.lim told us to do the think-of-5-words-to-describe-your-classmate exercise...maybe it's kind of true that I don't really feel things as strongly as other people or show that I have feelings at all...hmmm...

hai...not having older siblings is bad for uni applications...having parents who wish you to stay in singapore is worse...now I have to juggle applications, recommendations, mugging and reading up on scholarships all by myself...all that plus worrying about my family's financial status, maintaining a relationship and constant upset about my inabilty to do a revision question is making me a very stressed person =(...*sad*...

GP is very scary...I'm scared for tomorrow...help!!...

No rain, can't get the rainbow
No rain, can't get the rainbow
-RAINBOW by ayumi
ayu provides me with yet another mantra to help me get through a tough period...love her muchly =)...

[Qian Li Zhi Wai]
courtesy of kinix

jay chou says: I've always wanted to ask fei yuqing to sing a duet with me...so this song is a great honour to me...haha gosh...if he doesn't mind why should we? =)...

haha wth I am monologue-ing cause the person that para was directed at will never come to this place =P...oh well...makes me happy...

for anyone who's interested...go to RJ classroom A76 tomorrow before school to see the heart-shaped tables before someone rearranges them =P...witness the presence of perverts in RJ who pine after a girl who's already attached!!...oh no that was mean...*hides from karma*...

some people on online forums have been irritating everyone lately...they go on and ask people to send them pop songs...then they turn around and start flaming others, saying "If you a real fan then you should buy ORIGINALS!!!!"...ok lorh mr self-proclaimed-fan...win already lorh...now almost everyone in the forum hates you and ignores your messages...and the funny thing is he loves to start arguments with the forum moderators...wahh I've never seen anyone so stupid before...me reckons he'll get banned within the next 2 months...you win hands down!! =P...

ok enough sour-ness...shall go do homework...byes...

ps. happy 18th birthday to YL =)...haha that bold was a little reminder to act mature from now on...jiayou with kp tonight ok? =P...

pps. fermented beans are super gross...seriously...go sakae sushi, order a nattou handroll and you'll know...

just realized the cute guy on my bus is damn freaky...he just stares you in the face even though he knows you know he's staring...so I just freak and hide behind my physics notes for the whole bus ride...haha so weird =X...but he's still cute =)...

my uncle wants someone to help him design the webpage for his company or something...there'll be a paycheck and it'll probably be after the As...anyone interested? =)...

ayu's new single...probably out in september or early october...cover song will most probably be ''Jewel''...so sweet =)...

ok I shall go do homework...I am falling waaaaaaaaaaay behind...ok byebye...

someone make me mug ><...

still remember that time when ms chia told me I was a hardworking girl...I was just so irrationally happy after that...I'm so desperate for people to say nice things to me that it's really scary...maybe that's why I was so happy when that guy came to sit next to me...it's so embarrassing and sad to be craving attention this way =(...

I've learnt how to smile, even when I'm not happy
I wonder if I have changed
We are free to go anywhere we want
We are free to do anything we want
Maybe it's freedom, that I keep fighting against
When I felt the warmth of a passerby
Suddenly, tears welled in my eyes
It might have been you
But it might be her, or him
-Heartplace by ayumi

it's funny how you can't put your feelings into words sometimes...and you find a song that does it perfectly for you...note how what I've said in the second paragraph corresponds to the lyrics...ayu is really the best sometimes...

don't worry...I'm not really depressed...

I met you, and that should have been enough
Light filled my world
I should have been happy, just to see you in my dreams
But then I wished for your love
The world changed its face
At the edge of the world, the sky and sea meld together
-ageha chou by Porno Graffitti

hahaha squee!! =3...that's how happy you feel when an uber cute guy makes it a point to sit next to you...yes there's this guy who goes to school on the same bus as me everyday...I have to admit that he is super good-looking and I stare at him alot...I mean come on a little eyecandy every morning won't hurt right...makes sure that you start out everyday certain that beauty exists in this world (oh no I'm talking weird)...and yes he has been staring back recently omg it makes me uber happy X3...and today he just came on the bus and stood in the aisle beside my seat waiting for the guy sitting beside me to alight so he can sit...it was like so amazing when you see other seats in the bus clearing and him refusing to go and just standing there beside your seat waiting...you will really feel super shuang after that lorh =)...but he shy larh never try to talk to me...oh well haha must jiayou k I want to be your friend cause you're so cute XD...oh no so bad I am damn superficial =P...

ok whatever I'm starting to go crazy...

whee I finally found the goku voodoo mini!!! XD...only yiling knows how long I have waited for it...how many times I went to mini toons to look for it only to find it sold out...today is the day when I finally asked the shopkeeper and she got it for me...and obviously I bought it straight away =D...yes everyone can meet voodoo goku (haha it rhymes!) tomorrow!!...

ok enough ranting I must chiong for prelims already...byebye =)...

*pervertic self runs to hide*...

I love this song and this video to bits =)...

ok thermody here I go =S...

essay writing today was relatively ok cause I finally found the question...you know that kind of question which makes you feel like you existed just to do them?...yeah...I haven't come across that kind of question ever since like CTs last year or something...so hope I'll do good this time cause my GP has clearly drowned itself during CT2...

last session for bio S of my life and I didn't even have the patience to wait 4 hours to grace it with my presence...but you can't blame me...if you ended school at 12 and had the choice of waiting 4 hours to go for a sad-to-say-but-ultimately-useless lecture or go home and enjoy the comfort of the bed...the choice is sort of obvious...and at least I don't have to look at any ungraded essays...yet...

everyone's talking about university applications these days...it's like so in that it's scary...to tell the truth I haven't really been doing much research into what exactly I want to do, much less where to go...think it's time for me to start asking around for advice...it's not easy being the eldest sibling in your family =(...you feel so lost and unguided and alone in this scary world =(=(...boo...anyway I think I'll end up applying for some not-so-glaringly-prestigious UK universities (read: oxbridge) to study some not-so-glaringly-prestigious course (read: medicine)...not if I actually have the money to go there even if I get a place...proves that IQ doesn't really solve any realistic problems...no money no uni...poor kids like me will probably just end up in NUS after everything...

maybe I am a little bitter...maybe from knowing that my future is limited by money (or lack thereof)...maybe because most people don't realize that there are poor kids in RJ who don't get fetched to school in a big car everyday...and just maybe because I'm worried that my parents may not even have the money to put me through local university education, much less through glaringly prestigious courses at glaringly prestigious overseas unis...

so what someone said today may not have sounded insensitive to others but it does to me...I do hope you will not prattle off about going to above-mentioned glaringly prestigious overseas unis to attend above-mentioned glaringly prestigious courses...I know you can afford it and I envy you, but there is a fine line between informing and bragging and you crossed it today ...no ill feelings because you won't have known, and you probably didn't realize you were bragging either...so don't sue me...I very poor already =(...

maybe the reason why people refuse to sit down and think is because reality capsizes all your hopes and dreams...and they should give priority of scholarships to poor kids first...as in seriously...

on a happier note to my dear...you don't have to worry so much about me going overseas and leaving you here afterall =)...

enough I am making myself depressed...shall go watch some ayu lives...she's the best comfort I can ever ask for =)...so bye...

other things I got today...a new pink flowery pencilcase and saiyuki reload manga volume 6 (!!!!!!)...all these makes me a happy though broke person...oh well happiness is everything right? =)...

homework that's in my undone pile...
- agricultural biotech tut
- chem transition metals tut
- physics radioactivity tut
- maths CRV 2 tut
this is like even more smothering than the POTC OST =P...

shall go enjoy my POTC...byebyezz...

7 things that scare me
* all insects...
* all birds...
* all fish...
* dark places...
* insomnia...
* not doing well in anything...
* being alone...

7 random music at the moment
* POTC soundtrack!!! =)=)...
* Target -wada kouji
* Beautiful Fighters -ayumi hamasaki
* UNITE! -ayumi hamasaki
* No way to say -ayumi hamasaki
* brave heart -miyazaki ayumi
* Dancing Diva -jolin tsai

7 things I like the most
* family...
* being with friends...
* my bf...
* bolster!!...
* music...
* aircon with jacket...
* last but definitely not least goku...

7 things I say the most
* ok...
* really?...
* I'm damn bored...
* anything...
* siao!!...
* how would I know...
* wadevaaaaaaaa...

1.When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
maybe I shouldn't have gotten that haircut...

2.When is the next time you will have sex?
muahaha when I am engaged?...

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
more...

4. Favorite planet?
saturn =)=)...cause it's the prettiest one =)...

5. Who is the 3rd person on your missed call list on your mobile?
lazy to check but probably the same person whom I always get missed calls from...

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I don't use ringtones...phones on perpetual silent mode...

7. What shirt are you wearing?
a pink one thats damn soft cause I washed it alot of times...

8. Do you "label" yourself?
the sane one in the midst of bimbos...haha joking...

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
any shoe that's cheap I guess...

10. Bright or dark room?
bright...

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
sher is very pretty...

12. take a break, have a kit-kat!
...

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
probably lying on my bed thinking when I'll fall asleep...

15. Where is your letter box?
downstairs...

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
ok...haha that's technically 2 words actually =P...

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
haha *obvious*...

18. Last furry thing you touched?
my pencilcase...

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
none...

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
hmm...I don't know...I've been loving my life so far actually...but probably 16 or 17 I guess...

22. Your worst enemy?
insomnia!!!!!...

23. What is your current desktop picture?
goku the cutest hottest loveliest non-person on earth...

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I abit the forgot...

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you do?
hmm...fly maybe =)...

26. Do you like someone?
I like alot of someones...almost everyone in fact...almost...

27. Are you dating them?
oh...hmm in that case yes to both this and the above question...

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet for them?
yes hello my mummy lehhh...

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
haha ermmm...I'll keep my punch...there's noone in my life right now that's asking for it...

30. Who're the six lucky people who will be doing this next?
hmm don't know...we'll see...

I did no homework this weekend...none zero null moot...and I don't even feel guilty...oh no I need motivation...prelims is less than 2 months away!!...damnnn...

I shall go pack my bag and watch some ayu lives I downloaded...so fun bye =)...

I did a good deed today =)...was on the bus to school when this boy came crying...apparently he boarded the bus but his dad didn't so he was stranded...so I got down with him at the next stop and asked him to call his dad's hp...but he didn't know the number...then I asked him whether he wanted to call home but he didn't know his home number too...so sad larh where got parents never teach their kids their home numbers one...so anyway I walked him back to his busstop which was so totally unfun cause it was raining and I had to keep both of us dry with my single umbrella...turned out that his dad wasn't at the busstop also so I had to walk him all the way home...oh well at least I got him safely home (at long last) before going to school =)...hope that will neutralize my bad karma a little =S...

spirited away is such a nice show...finally got to watch it in its entirety...used to only catch glimpses of it on tv...and when you catch alot of little glimpses every time it shows you can sort of piece it all together into a coherent story that's why I was familiar with the show even though I never really watched it before...

oh no...time mag said POTC dead man's chest is a summer blockbuster disappointment...how can that be? =(=(...I don't care I'm still going to watch it anyway...

going to do some homework...byebye...

Endless sorrow -ayumi hamasaki

What if I said that you're alone, and all you see is darkness?
What if I said that this is for eternity, will you still walk on bravely?

Please come and hold my hand

If there is only one wing on your back
If there is only one wing left on mine

What if I said that all that you believed in are lost?
What if I said that there will only be hopelessness left?

Please listen to my prayer

In this era filled with broken angels..

From now, there are no wings left on your back
Because there is one wing left on mine

Let us be together
Together...

shall work very very hard from now on...yes...starting now!!...byebye...

pig cookie made by mogu and da ben zhu...hahaha cute right...it tastes really good too though maybe abit lose-air...

sinhui and heart after mutilation by dr chuamama...hahahaha enough said =P...

end of the week makes me a happy person...one whole weekend of nothing to do to look forward to =)...going to watch NDP preview tomorrow yay so fun =)=)...life after CTs is always great (temporarily)...

I like taking un-photogenic qianbian shots...and somehow I'm shorter even though I'm older by 5 years...

ahahaha I just realized it's so bright we look like gui can...

chem was a disaster...bio not far from it...and physics so far so good...oh my...what does it mean when the subject you've failed for the past 5 years suddenly becomes your best? o_0...

ayu is such a trendsetter...told you super-huge-hairbands-which-do-nothing-but-look-pretty-on-your-head will become a fashion statement =)...

sianned + sticky = bathe...byebye...

life can seldom get better than having free fireworks shows =)...one of the perks of living where I live is that they test NDP fireworks here...as in the real ones...and they don't cheapskate like during NDP only put off about 3-5 minutes worth...here's like continuous fireworks for a full 15-20 minutes =)...and it's so damn pretty cause it's just so close to where I live...and they got really really cute designs this year...there was one really really big one which bursts then changes colour a few times...then there was a saturn-shaped and a heart-shaped one that looks really cute...and there was this really pretty one that bursts then got alot of small stars that linger on and twinkle for damn long...and got the ones with falling meteors and those small glittery gold ones and the huge ones with fireworks at the side and glitter in the middle...haha was damn damn cool especially when they let off about 10+ of those really big ones in quick succession =)...that sort of made my night really...so happy =)=)...

I think I am very easily pleased...but that's a good thing =)=)...

went to NYGH carnival thingie today...haha it was like so large-scale that when I think back to stuff like RG's PSL carnival I feel quite sad for us...yep anyway it was really really fun =)...as predicted I ate alot alot of fatty food like marshmallows dipped in chocolate, super salty and buttery corn and stuffs...I would have eaten strawberries in chocolate too had some clumsy boy not dropped it into a patch of grass =P...so sad lorh it looked positively delicious =(...oh well...not meant to be larh...

ok I shall go off and watch gunlock now...goku is the cutest sweetest hottest thing ever I feel like hugging him to death =)=)...haha whatever byebye...