say the words of Love >Arrogance is my name :D
OST >Nothing

yeah I suck at blogging. So I do massive surveys! Because i love talking about myself :D

1. 5 colors that you like the most:
red, white, blue, beige, black
2. what do u treasure in ur wallet?
money
3. pierced on?
ears, tongue, belly button
4. person u always wanted to spend time with
The wifey <3
5. ur wearing wat today?
low ride loose jeans, an my black sweater
7. name of ur ex's?
I dont got no ex's
8. fruits u usually crave for
strawberries
9. veggies that u dont eat?
carrots and eggplant
10. your last drink was:
water
11. hangouts:
home, KP an Hye Sung's place, Lisa an Chun Hae's place
13. your wish for your next bday:
i unno yet
14. What's on your bedside table?
lube, KY warming gel, tissues, a glass, my cell phone charger, change
15. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
my FINKle CDs back in the day when i use to love kpop
16. What do you eat/drink when you raid your fridge at night?
i dont eat at night
17. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
I dont cry
18. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Having my face scarred
19. Do you ever have to beg?
I beg my wifey a lot
20. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Hyde :D
21. What do you miss most about being little?
Nothin i got the same privilages now
22. Are you happy with your given name?
Yup
23. Have you ever been in a school play?
nah
24. Have you ever been in love?
i am now
25. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
always
26. Do you think you're cute?
I think I'm sexy
27. Do you consider yourself a nice person?
hell no ive been told im a dick

more...

1. What color is you skin? WHITE. Im mad fuckin pale
2. What color is your real hair? black
3. What color of underwear and if bra are you wearing?
boxers are dark blue an id be scared if i was ina bra
4. Ford or Chevy? eh
5. International or John Deere? ...what?
6. Where do you work? Morning glory for good fuckin reason damnit
7. Do you like your job? is all good
8. What was your favorite job? i never had one
9. Do you like sleet or slushy snow? Neither
10. Do you like a light sprinkle or a down poor? sprinkle
11. 100 degrees or -32 degrees? -32
12. How do you like your hot dogs? dont like hot dogs
13. How do you like your eggs? dont like eggs
14. How do you like your steaks? i dont eat enough meat to know
15. What was the last thing that you thought of last night before you went to bed? im tired
16. What was the last thing that you thought of before you read this? i should blog
17. Favorite kind of cigarette? Newports
18. Teeth Color? white. I use those crest whitening strips so mah smile could stay pretty :D
19. Strawberry or Cherry? Cherry
20. Blueberry or Raspberry? Blueberry
21. Favorite Tastes? the wife, cigarettes
22. Favorite Sounds? my wifey moaning, Hyde's voice
23. Favorite Sights? my wifey's nekked body, Hyde
24. Favorite Touch? clean sheets, cashmere, my wifey's skin
25. Favorite Smell? My wifey
26. What city/town do you live in? Flushings, Queens
27. Street name? whas it to you
28. Address? like i said...
29. Does your front yard have trees? I live in NYC man there are no trees here
30. Does your front yard have bushes? -
31. Does your front yard have grass? -
32. Do you have a front yard? -
33. Rock or Country Music? Rock
34. Heavy Metal, Rap or Contemporary Christian Music?
whatever Hyde does is fine
35. What is your favorite Jelly? grape
36. White or Wheat? white
37. How many finger prints are on your monitor right now?
not many since it was jus cleaned
38. How many programs do you have up? jus I.E
39. Do you like to talk on the phone or not? i do
40. What is your favorite T.V. Show? Ricki Lake
41. Pittsburgh or New England? -
42. Who is your favorite quarterback of all time? -
43. Boston or New York? NYC
44. Who is your favorite baseball player of all time? -
45. Have you ever been to Florida? nope
46. Canada? nope
47. Ohio? no
48. Favorite Pizza? Cheese
49. Favorite Foreign Food? I unno I am foreign so i like Korean food...some of it.
50. What did you do last Saturday? Worked for like four hours
51. Have you pooped today? yup
52. Do you have gas right now? nah im good
53. Have you ever pooped your pants? nah
54. Have you ever pissed your pants? nope
55. Who wears the pants in your household? the wifey does
56. Who would you like to be stuck on a deserted island with (it cannot be your other half!!)? Hyde
57. Who would you like to have stuck on a frozen iceburg with a hungry polar bear that has not eaten for days? Gackt, Hyde's wife
58. What celebrity would you like to see naked? Hyde
59. What celebrity would you like to see dead? Gackt
60. Bush or Kerry? Kerry.
61. Bush or Shaved? ew
62. Well thank you for filling out this stupid edition of getting to know your friends, one last question. Where would you like to be right now? In bed witht he wifey

And even more

1. nervous habits?
I smoke constantly
2. are you double jointed?
Yeah :D
3. can you roll your tongue?
and the wifey loves it
4. can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
Yup
5. can you blow spit bubbles?
yeah but i try not to
6. can you cross your eyes?
Yeah
7. tattoos?
Yup
8. piercings n where?
Ears, belly button, tongue
9. do you make your bed daily?
The wifey does

-- CLOTHES --
10. which shoe goes on first?
Right
11. speaking of shoes, have you thrown out at anyone?
Yes
12. on the average, how much money do you carry?
About 40 or more
13. what jewelry do you wear?
My wedding ring
14. favourite piece of clothing?
My Hyde leather pants

-- FOOD --
15. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl
16. have you ever eaten Spam?
Nah
17. favourite ice cream flavor?
Strawberry
18. how many cereals in your cabinet?
2
19. what`s your favourite beverage?
water
20. what`s your favourite restaurant?
dont have 1
21. do you cook?
yeah right

-- GROOMING --
22. do you brush your teeth after meals?
Only after i smoke at home.
23. hair drying method?
Air dry for the most part but blow dry since its gettin longer
24. have you ever coloured your hair?
Yup

-- MANNERS --
25. do you swear?
yup
26. do you ever spit?
yeah when I smoke

-- FAVOURITE --
27. animal?
none
28. food?
dont have much
29. month?
eh
30. day?
-
31. cartoon?
-
32. Sport brand?
Adidas
33. subject in school?
i hated school
34. colour?
red
35. sport?
-
36. tv shows?
-
37. thing to do in the spring?
-
38. thing to do in the summer?
-
39. thing to do in the rain?
-
40. thing to do in the winter?
-

-- IN AND AROUND --
41. the cd player?
Right n ow its Hyde's 666 again
42. person you talk most on the phone with?
Toki
43. ever taken a cab?
Im a new yorker of course i have
44. do you regularly check yourself out in store windows n mirrors?
hell yeah
45. what colour is your bedroom?
Blue
46. do you use an alarm clock?
nah my wifey wakes me
47.window seat or aisle?
Window seat

-- LA LA LAND --
48. what`s your sleeping position?
holdin the wifey
49. even in hot weather do you use a blanket?
yeah cuz i have my cold air flowin
50. do you snore?
nah
51. do you sleepwalk?
nah
52. do you talk in your sleep?
i make funny noises but thas it
53. do you sleep with stuffed animals?
jus the wifey :D
54. how about the lights on?
nah
55. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio?
sometimes the TV when Im tired

-- WHICH IS BETTER --
56. coke or pepsi?
-
57. oranges or apples?
-
58. one pillow or two?
1
59. deaf or blind?
-
60. pools or hot tubs?
hot tub
61. tall or short?
tall
62. tv or radio?
TV
63. beach or pool?
pool
64. tic tacs or certs?
Certs
65. sunrise or sunset?
Sunset
66. hamburger or cheeseburger?
Cheeseburger
67. morning or night?
Night
68. sports or news?
Neither
70. indoors or outdoors?
Indoors
71. christmas eve or christmas day?
eve
72. cake or ice cream?
Ice cream
73. spearmint or peppermint?
Spearmint
74. bath or shower?
Shower
75. book or movie?
movie
76. green or red apples?
red
77. rain or snow?
rain
78. nike or adidas?
Adidas

-- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU --
79. took a bath?
last valentines day i believe
80. cried?
i dont cry
82. read a book?
uh
83. punched sumone?
last time i got into a fight

-- THE FUTURE --
84. where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
with my wifey still
85. kids, how many?
no kids
86. name?
-

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
07:18 p.m. on
Saturday, December 4, 2004

say the words of Love >Ooo I got the thing
OST >L'arc en ciel Hitomi no Jyuunin

I got the thing.

I can't really blog. I jus wanna say yay for the comments thing up, woop for the tagboard thingy bein gone, props to -SIGH- FINE ILL CALL YOU TOKI, Toki for fixin this for me cuz she is the best. I heart you babygirl.

An...yeah thas all. I have no life as of lately. Other then the constant love makin because I am just the best at that. Oh and Hyde. Hyde with Last Quarter. Saw the trailer. Must somehow get bootleg copy of it. I must have Hyde. I ordered the Smile Photoalbum as well as the Last Quarter one. I am so fuckin madly in love with that man is gettin a little scary even for me now. I think I wore 666 out. Hm...must order another one. I saw that black and red sweater Hyde has in Manhattan the other day. I bought it about an hour later because it looked jus like Hyde's except for the sleeves. But it had the hood. I love this sweater. I think I'll live in it for a while.

Done. Enjoy the comments thing. Show me love. Cuz I know you all do love me :D

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
10:00 p.m. on
Tuesday, November 9, 2004

say the words of Love >Yeah I went missing
OST >L'arc en ciel Snow drop (Ray Mix)

Sorry about that all. Jus trying to get my life back in order. It's weird. Kinda hard. Though all the same goin normal as always.

I've resumed my whole life. I know that much for a fact an I can now not be so mad at Chak Hae. I've continued with my wifey too. He was worried about me for a while and I haven't had SEX SINCE THEN. FUCK I can't believe my mind hasn't been on my dick for once. Well you know...now it's back so the world can continue spinning.

So Hyde, my Hyde my beautiful sexy beautiful damn well near perfect Hyde is in another movie which I also must get once it comes out on DVD. Last Quarter which is based of a manga makes Hyde he rock star ghost. Damn sexy fuckin bastard. Anyway yeah...he's a sexy fuck and I need to see this movie. I already saw a crap load of pics from it and I jus keep dyin at the idea of it. Hyde looks beautiful. DAMN I LOVE HIM!!! But yeah. My hair is also gettin ridiculusly long. It's like well past my shoulders but Minni noona has cut it in slight layers so I got Hyde's perfect hair goin on. I look so fucking sexy. Damn me for not taking more pictures of myself. I should cuz you know....I'm jus fuckin hot.

So Lezzie tells me that this tag board crap is being retarded with the pop ups for all my visitors. I should change that then shouldnt I? Lezzie I need something else. Fix it.

So I slammed my arm into a doorway the other day an I felt damn dumb for doing that but thank god no one saw it. I jus turned around too quick when I was work an slammed my whole arm into a doorframe. It hurt like fuckin hell I was so glad no one saw it. That's not sexy. Now I got this bruise on my arm but thank god no one can see it cuz of my sleeves an shit. Bruises ruin perfection. :D

Kay...I think I should blog a little more frequently now. Now that I'm all alive again. HAPPY OCTOBER!

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
05:21 p.m. on
Tuesday, October 5, 2004

say the words of Love >Normal
OST >Hyde > Words of Love

Ive been goin to work. comin home, chillen with my boys an the wife. Life goes on. Somewhere in the back of my head I keep thinkin I shouldn't be goin on so normal. I mean my boy of...my entire life jus died an Im actin like everything is fine. But life goes on. Im alive I gotta act like it. My boys are doin the same. KP is still a little messed up. Him an Maddie have been dealin with it. I gotta admit that at first I wasn't to fond of miss Maddie but shes a lot tougher then i give her credit for. Shes been stickin with KP through the whole thing...givin him support an shit. It's good to see he doesnt always have to lean on us for this...he's always been so attached to us an I love him for it...but you know, he's gettin older. Its time his girlfriend took some of that weight too.

Neways...the wife has been real good with everything too. He seeks me out for affection since he knows i love it more then anything. I talked to my umma the other day an she knew what happened with Chak Hae. She was really upset that it happened. Plus she knew Chak Hae's umma when they were both younger so she kinda loved Chak Hae like she loves me. She never liked how he spiraled down his path that lead to his death but she would listen to me talk to him about him. She never judged or said you should do this. She jus listened.

I dont know where im goin with this. Minni's suppost to come over with Jinu sometime soon. Shes prolly on her way. Hm imin a state of gray. Is gray right? When its not black or white? yeah aite we'll go with that. Gray it is. Okay jus giving that update.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
08:13 p.m. on
Wednesday, September 8, 2004

say the words of Love >Im better
OST >L'arc en ciel >> Snowdrop

Man...past couple of days have been...so random. I cant even imagine whas been goin through my head. Ive jus been so mad lately. Im still sorta mad. Is the first tie in like forever when I havent thought of myself or my dick or gettin laid. Its so weird.

I had to meet with Chak Hae's babymammas a while ago. 2 of them, so struck by the fact that my boy jus died were like seriously upset an cried. They actually forgave him. The other 2 were upset an they gave condelences but they weren't all broken up about it. The 1 bitch which now im sorta glad he knocked up an left was like good Im glad he died. KP was so pissed at her. I had hol myself back from jus punchin her in face, girl or not. I jus looked at her an Im like fuck you, why don't you die? An she got all pissed at me an shit but I didnt care that was jus fuckin wrong. Fine, lots of people hated him but thas no reason to fuckin cheer at his death. An if you're gonna be glad regardless, then don't do it in front of his fuckin boys who are still mournin for him. I tol Minni...I'm sure shes gonna take care of her later.

Thas another thing, Minni is...jus so not in her head right now. She an Chak Hae use to date an they sorta got along after they broke up an whatnot so...shes feelin weird. We all sorta are. David an Sun Hae are lookin to move. For the past couple days they been stayin with KP an Hye Sung cuz they don't like their place. Is bad for them cuz Chak Hae died there after all...so I don't blame them. I tol them that when they feel they've burden our hyung an KP enough that they could come stay with us. My wifey is cool with it. all...an even if he wasn't this is one time i'd defy him an jus be like come over anyway.

It's weird that we all went to drink last night. We chilled in KP an Hye Sung's place with Minni, all of us drinkin an talking about Chak Hae. Even David, who hasn't touched a drop of booze since we were in high school drank with us. He said he would for the one time. KP said we shouldn't drink at all considerin its what killed our boy. But Hye Sung said we're not all drunks like he was. We decided to keep in touch with Chak Hae's sister Yunnie. She was real nice to us an whatnot...she decided to help out 4 of the 5 mothers that Chak Hae left behind. She cried a whole lot when she saw one the boy, (he had 4 girls an 2 boys) actually looked like him when Chak Hae was little. I noticed it too. It freaked me out. Yunnie is sorta messed up herself but that kinna goes without sayin given her case. She lives with her friends in manhattan an she promised to come see us more. Some of us are prolly gonna see her tomorrow to get some things of his she decided to give to us.

I feel so weird. I gotta go back to work tomorrow cuz i know its not doin me no good to sit here an be mad all day. Ah...everything is weird.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
10:31 p.m. on
Sunday, August 29, 2004

say the words of Love >So does it make you think?
OST >Hyde > Prayer

Chak Hae's funeral was yesterday. It finally hit KP full force when Chak Hae was buried. He just started crying so bad. I could tell David wanted to but...he jus didn't. It's not in him to cry. Hye Sung didn't either. Minni, for all her gulliness an shit, she cried. So did Lisa an Chak Hae's sister. His father, a real fuckin dick head, even worse then KP's old man, didn't show up. Chak Hae's mom had died when he was little so all he had left was his sister. Sun Hae, me, Chun Hae an Hye Sung, we didn't cry. It was jus...weird. I saw one of my boys, one of the guys I've known all my fuckin life get put into the ground yesterday. An more then anything I find myself mad.

No, it doesn't make me think. I don't wonder why this happened, I don't ask God why, I don't ask why he did it to himself, I don't want anyone's fuckin prayers, or their well wishes, or their good thoughts or anything. He died cuz he was a drunk. He died cuz some real fucked up shit happened to him when he was little, he became a full blown alcoholic by the time he was 17 so by the time he was 20 he stopped only to sober up for a few short years just to kill himself later. He died cuz he was a fuckin selfish asshole who never bothered to think about anyone but his fuckin self an his bottle, who thought so little of everyone around him though we would all die, I WOULD HAVE DIED FOR HIM cuz he was my fuckin boy, an didn't both to tell us SHIT. He tried to be a big man an carry that shit around with him forever until he literally drank himself to fuckin death. He died cuz he didn't want anyone to know this big fuckin horrible secret in his life so he drank three bottles of vodka when he should have been at work an got alcohol poisoning because that had already mixed in with the shit he had in his system earlier an god fuckin knows how much he had before he decided 3 more bottles would be fine. He died because he thought none of us would understand him.

It pisses me off SO MUCH. He was only 23 fuckin years old, three months away from his 24th bday an he fuckin DIED. He even fuckin died in his fuckin bed in the apatoo that him, David an Sun Hae all shared. They didn't know they thought he was still sleepin an they went to work, came back only to find he'd been dead all mornin. He was inconsiderate down to his last fuckin moments. He left behind 5 kids he never knew an now he'll never know em so at least his fucked up inconsiderate genes can continue down a line. I'm more pissed off then sad. He was jus...I knew him all my life yet I didn't know a damn thing about him in the end. I had to find all this shit out about him from his sister cuz he didn't tell us dick. He made us all suffer in the end an we had to be the ones to stay behind an once again, clean up after him. Fuckin Chak Hae you inconsiderate son of a bitch. Why couldn't you fuckin open your mouth for smethin other then stickin a bottle in it? It pisses me off so much. I'm so mad at him now.

An whats worse is that I'll never be able to tell him to his face so he could frown an say he was sorry an that he needs help ever again. Cuz he's fuckin dead.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
09:34 p.m. on
Thursday, August 19, 2004

say the words of Love >-
OST >silence

i can't believe it.

I'm not really sure what to do right now. I'm sort in a numb state of shock.

Chak Hae died earlier this morning.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
07:24 p.m. on
Saturday, August 14, 2004

say the words of Love >More surveys (cuz im an arrogant sonof abitch)
OST >L'arc en ciel > Flood of Tears

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sunnie
2. The Prince
3. Ji Sun (very rare an only my father calls me this)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. face
2. hair
3. body

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. um...
2. ......uh
3. I'm sure there's...something

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. Why someone people would think im not hot
2. why i cant have Hyde ;.;
3. why i cant stop sayin dumb shit to my wifey

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. Gackt
2. Hyde's fuckin hurtful lookin wife
3. girls that cant take no for an answer

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Loosin the wife
2. loosin my good looks
3. .....uh yeah

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. lube
2. money
3. clothes

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BRANDS:
1. Armani A|X
2. Ralph Lauren
3. French Connection

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS @ THE MOMENT:
1. Words of Love by Hyde
2. Eien by Larc en ciel
3. Lover Boy by Larc en ciel

THREE PERSONS OR SETS OF PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. The wifey
2. my boys
3. Minni noona

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Not talk about myself
2. stop smokin
3. stop flirting

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. fuckin
2. smoking
3. grooming myself

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. the wife
2. a cigarette
3. Hyde

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. uh...
2. ...hhhmmmm
3. ....sure we'll get back to this

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. Seoul (cuz its the motherland)
3. Italy

THREE THINGS/PEOPLE YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW:
1. My father
2. ....um
3. ....yeah...

THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD WANT LEFT IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU WERE TO LOSE EVERYONE ELSE:
1. My wifey
2. my boys
3. my umma

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. To fuck Hyde
2. To.....uh...fuck Hyde?
3. .....see above

1. PLACE - Queens NYC

2. FOOD OUTLET - kitchen

3. SPORT - watchin others play sports

4. PERFUME - Envy

5. COLOR - blue

6. SUBJECT - no school

7. SONG - As if in a Dream by Larc

8. SEXY - Hyde, the wifey, me

9. COUSIN - Jung

10. CRUSH - My wifey, Hyde

11. NICE FRIEND - KP

12. CRAZY FRIEND - Me, Lezzie

13. SINGLE PEEP - David (damn celibacy)

14. FRIENDS IN A RELATIONSHIP - me, KP, Lezzie

15. BROKEN HEARTED FRIEND - It's usually always KP

16. FRIEND YOU SHARE SECRETS WITH - KP

17. BEST BEST FRIEND - my umma

18. EX GF/BF - Dun have one

19. LOVED ONE - the wifey <3

20. YOU LOVED ROMANTICALLY - Mikey <3

So...I'm sorta upset yet not. See i got a boy, his name is Chak Hae, not his real btw, he got it from a rep a while ago. Neways, long as I've known him, he's always been a drunk. Shit me an him use to be drinkin partners till my wifey got my ass in check. Chak Hae sorta continued down the road till the time he was 19 he was a full blown alcoholic. It was kinna sad but none of us could really judge him since thas his life an he was gonna do what he was gonna do regardless of what we said. Someone whos got problems can only get better when they wanna an no time sooner. Durin the age of 13-20 he's fathered 5 kids, 5 different babiesmammas an he aint seen one of them. He dont wanna. Hes always been real selfish but i think that was always the booze talkin for him. Anyway he was a slave to the bottle till a couple yrs back when we all lived together in Seoul, him an Hye Sung got into a huge fight. Hye Sung pushed him through a glass door. Later Chak Hae realized he needed help an sobered up. He was clean for the past 4 yrs.

Till earlier today neway. David an Chun Hae came by today to let me knoe that our boy who was doin so well was shitface drunk. David stopped by his place to get somethin an found him passed out drunk on his bathroom floor. It was real annoyin yet fucked up all at once cuz he was doing so good. We can't even really ask him what made him drink again after 4 yrs of bein sober an holdin down his life for the first time since he was like...12. Hye Sung was really pissed off at him an I think he's thisclose to turnin his back on him. I cant say I agree with the choice but if Hye Sung does, we all gotta an I think that would be more of an invite for Chak Hae to continue drinking. He needs someone there but I dunno how many of you readers know how fuckin hard it is to watch someone you love an grew up with, slow destory themselves for reasons only known to them. Its not only maddenin but frustrating and it makes you wanna give up on them so bad. Maybe the rest of us didn't do a good job earlier, tryin to help him rather then let him waste away. Maybe he wouldn't have been such a lush by the time he was 19. He's 22 now, gonna be 23 in another week an he's still drinking. It's also sad to know he was only sober for 16 yrs of his life.

I jus had to get that out. Imma actually go see him now. KP wants to, he's jus about to come over to my place now that he's off from work. I'll keep it posted for those that care.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
08:22 p.m. on
Thursday, August 12, 2004

say the words of Love >Oh...fuck
OST >L'arc en ciel > The Rain Leaves a Scar

I cant believe its been damn sight of 2 weeks an I still cant get over the fact i wasnt in baltimore to see Larc live. I seriously still wanna kill myself. im mourning my chance of seein hyde live. i could have touched him...

.....let it go sunnie, let it go.

anyways aside from my major mourin on my part I have been doin the usual shit. work an whatnot. Oh but shit happened the other day. Yup los of shit that required me to be in an emergancy room twice. Though not for me ha ha! Seems my boy Sun Hae broke his leg the other day. How you ask? He fell down some stairs. Broke that...bone thing...near the knee...though I think he broke his knee cap too i unno. is that possible? Im not sure. I wasnt payin attention i was too busy cryin in pain as they set his leg back an he had MY hand in his clutches so he almost broke my fuckin hand. He got casted, his umma paid the bill an she scolded him so bad, like he purposly fell down some stairs an shit. truth be tol i think he was pushed. Hes got beef with this one cat that he works with an the fucker threatend to shove him down some stairs. Im not clear on the whole situation but we think he did it. of course we cant prove it yet but if we can guess whos goin out to kick someones ass? Yeah exactly.

The rest of boys where there too. we all had to like help him out cuz luckily for us, David an Chun Hae were there waitin for Sun Hae to get off work an once he did they heard him fall down the stairs. they rushed him to the hospital, we got there, KP called Sun Hae's umma an yeah then we all kept him company. Im not really sure how i ended up holdin his hand. that shit was not fun.

My next trip to the ER was with Minni noona. Jinu got real fuckin sick which scared the fuckin shit out of my noona. He was like throwin up an cryin for like three hours before noona got worried an decided to take him to the ER. She called me an KP which sent us right back to the hospital in the waitin room. Noona's a tough tough bitch never let anyone tell you otherwise, she's fuckin gully an she'll fight a dude because she fights like one herself. She left her babysdaddy cuz he was the one all flowery an shit when she got knocked up, an shes the only one, the ONLY ONE that can knock Hye Sung around. Is why I love her so much :D even when Jinu was sick, noona kept her head in check she didnt cry an scream an shit she was like fuck Im scared, picked up her kid, called us an was like yo Jinu's sick Im goin to the ER meet me there an tell KP click. Thas it. She was calm the whole time. Doctor came out, said Jinu had some sorta cold or somethin...I wasnt listenin cuz I needed a cigarette and noona was like great to know. An KP was like noona wheren't you worried? Noona said no cuz she knew her son was strong an she didnt wanna get all worked up for nothin. KP worries more then her. When he went to see Khaymen the other day he like got panicked when he started coughin. Yeah he's much more maternal then me an noona. Well...more then noona.

I got hit on by some more girls. My halmunni of the store was like tellin me how good lookin I am an how she likes my new hair style. Is gettin longer...like Hyde's cuz i want his hair...an him but thas another story entirely. She said it made me look very handsome. I was like i knoe. You're not tellin me nothin i heard before. She laughed cuz she thought i was kidding but i wasnt. :D I know I'm hot though Im startin to realize my current style of dress is not suited to my hair but i really dont like how Hyde dresses...well I do I jus know I couldnt make it work cuz Im a lot taller then him an I refuse to put on pants that hold my legs like sasuage. I do like how he dressed for his solo stuff. I could probably rock all that. I should look into it. Yeah...aite jus wanted to check in. I need to do this blog thing now an again. Plus I jus adore Hyde. fuckin sexy sonofbitch.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
06:40 p.m. on
Wednesday, August 11, 2004

say the words of Love >Another survey!
OST >Hyde >> Sweet Vanilla

F I R S T S

First best friend: Hye Sung
First car: Neva had 1
First crush: I seriously think it was KP :D
First real kiss: This random chick (yeah a CHICK) at sum party.
First break-up: Never had one
First piercing/tattoo: I got my ears pierced when I was 11. Hye Sung did it for me which prolly wasnt one of my brighter moments
First credit card: Visa Platinum I believe
First true love: Mikeeeey <3
First enemy: I dun remember that
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Cant remember

L A S T S.

Last cigarette: Couple minutes ago
Last car ride: Uh last time i was in Jersey
Last good cry: I dun cry
Last library book: dont read
Last movie seen: Moonchild
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: Uh...I dun remmeber that either
Last crush: Mikey
Last phone call: Minni noona
Last time showered: When I got home from work
Last CD played: Hyde's 666
Last annoyance: Not bein able to go to Otakon to see Hyde live
Last disappointment: see above
Last word you said: I need to smoke!

F U T U R E.

Where do you want to go?: Hyde's pants. I mean anywhere close to Hyde
Your career going to be?: unno yet I'm sure I should though
Where are you going to live?: Still in Queens NYC
Do you want any kids?: Um no

C U R R E N T S.

Current mood: Horny
Current taste: Newports
Current clothes: Jeans an a wife beater
Current longing: My wifey an Hyde
Current favorite artist: Hyde/Larc en ciel
Current book you're reading: I dont read
Current time-wasting wish: Fuckin Hyde an the wife at the same time

W H A T S.

What's in your CD player?: Hyde's 666
What color socks are you wearing?: no socks
What color of underwear are you wearing: Green an white
What's under your bed?: Stuff?>
What time did you wake up today?: 11. I had work in the mornin

So...Im still pretty pissed off about not bein able to go to Otakon. I'm fuckin upset as all hell an I sorta wish I could have gone. Of course those pics Lezzie showed to me weren't helpin either. Yeah an THNX BC you help too. Jus rub my nose it jus a little more. I haven't been punished enough!

You win by the fuckin way. And yes you win FOREVER. Fuckin....I hate you so much.

I'm sad all over again. I need another cigarette an my wifey.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
10:13 p.m. on
Thursday, August 5, 2004

say the words of Love >Someone stop me
OST >L'arc en ciel >> Round and Round

.....from KILLING MYSELF.

Aite, yeah I've BEEN knowing that Larc was going to Baltimore for the con that's goin on tomorrow. But at the time that I had discovered it my whole life fell apart. The wifey was like thisclose to leavin me so I didn't care about anything. Even *gasp* Hyde. So...I din really care that he was gonna be THAT CLOSE TO ME.

Had I known I woulda made up with my wifey so soon, you bet your ass i would have been on the first thing smokin to Baltimore to catch the concert an pick up Hyde an run away with him right afterwards. But.....now it's too late an I really dont wanna leave my wifey jus as I made up with him.

Oh gooooooooooooooooooooood. I'm so seriously dyin inside. I think Lezzie wins this little competition of ours now an forever. Shes gonna get to SEE HYDE LIVE. That beats everythin I own now. So 'scuse me while I go fuckin hang myself.

Whhhhhhhy whhhhhhhy????? I coulda gooone!!!! Oh im so seriously pissed.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
11:19 p.m. on
Thursday, July 29, 2004

say the words of Love >Pieced together an a survey
OST >Larc en ciel > The Silver Shining

I've made my peace with the wifey. I had never groveled so much in my whole entire fuckin life. But the past couple of weeks, after rottin away at work an then at KP's place, I learned to value every single moment I'm with the wife. I missed him entirely too much. I couldn't breathe anymore plus I was put on sucide watch. My boys know whats up. Thx for bein there.

I'm back home though its not all like it was. Im still sorry an Im still makin up for the stupid thing I said. I know it was thoughtless of me to say what I said......i think enough people know about it so I rather not repeat "the thing" as its gonna be called from now on. Wifey tol me to not take him for granted anymore an trust me I never eva will again. I dont think I ever drank an smoked as much as I did when I was away from my wifey then durin these past couple weeks. Is like i was back in high school. I dont remember much of it but I jus hung out with Woo or Hye Sung a lot of the time, both of them jus tryin to keep me from ODing on sleepin pills. But is all good now. I won't kill myself, Im happy to be back home an Im happy to have my wifey back.

Luck smiled on me once again.

On another random, not so depressing note, my hair got really long. Im thinkin of growin it like Hyde's. That would look fuckin sexy on me.

An now a survey as proof of my feelin better. Is a girly quiz but I can fill it out :D

Introduction

what is your name?: Ji Sun
what is your nickname(s)?: Sunnie, The Prince
what month were you born in?: Sept.
what is your astrological sign?: Libra
what is your crush's name?: Mikey <3

Secrets

are you dangerously in love with him?: Yeah very much so
would you do anything for him?: Anything an everything
have you ever had a deep conversation about him with someone you trust?: Yup
have you ever spoken to him for more than 5 minutes?: Hell yeah
have you ever dreamed about him?: No need to, he's right beside me most of the time
have you ever done anything crazy for him?: I was arrested an nearly kicked out of school for him
have you ever felt the way you feel about him about someone else?: Never
have you ever hung out with him?: Always
have you ever heard a rumor about him?: Thas what got us together
have you ever written your names in hearts on paper?: Not...with hearts...
have you ever told someone in your family how you feel about him?: I tol my umma
have you ever written him a letter or gave him a card of some sort?: Yup
have you ever found out something about him that made you fall deeper?: Yeah
have you ever wished he was your next-door neighbor?: He lives with me thas better
have you ever dressed up for him?: Him for me
have you ever wished on a star for him?: Nah he was my blessing
have you ever prayed for him?: Nah but I prolly should have
have you ever thought about where he was and what he was doing?: I know what he's doin most of the time

Secret Fantasies

have you ever become aroused from looking at him?: Like...all the fuckin time.
have you ever dreamt about you and him having sex?: No need we usually jus have it.
do you masterbate by thinking of him or looking at his picture?: For the most part.
do you stay up all night and fantasize about him?: No need, he's right beside me at night.
would you ever have sex with him?: Uh doi
would you ever give him a lapdance?: him for me
would you ever have a threesome, with him and someone else?: Only if that someone else was Hyde
would you ever film yourself with him on camera?: I was SOCLOSE once
has the thought of being raped by him ever crossed your mind?: I'm not sure I'd like that
would you like for him to rape you?: Nah I dont think he'd like it
would you feel comfortable in bed with him?: I only feel comfortable in bed with him
have you ever watched porn and pretended you and him were the stars?: Nah
have you ever used a dildo and pretended it was him?: Nah
have you ever talked sexually about him to your closest friends?: To anyone who'd listen :D
would you ever tell him your fantasies?: Yeah an he's usually willing to comply :D
do you want to have sex with him badly?: Very much so
would you give him pleasure whenever he needed it?: The second he finished his sentence
if he asked you for a blowjob, would you do it?: I have before dun see why I wouldn't again.
do you think you'd be ready for sexual relations with him?: I've been ready
do you write poems or stories about your fantasies?: I'm not a writer, I leave that up to Lezzie
if he was bisexual, would you still feel this way about him?: He's gay now what
. are you a virgin?: Yeah les jus all laugh at that

Strange Coincidences

has a song ever came on and reminded you of him alot?: Yup
do you think you are going paranoid, like people watch you closely now?: Only when I go outside
have you ever bumped into him, looked at him and then just walked away?: Nah
are you more emotional now?: Yeah
do you think about him for what seems like every second of the day?: Yeah
have you double taked on anything because it reminded you of him?: Yup
have you ever saw someone you thought was him?: Nah I know my wifey pretty well
does he know you love him like this, fantasies and all?: Yup he do.
has anything strange been happening to you?: Not anymore
do you smile alot more?: Only with him
are you happy with the love you found?: Yup I am
do you love him so much, your friends think you're crazy?: Yeah
do you think you're crazy?: For the most part
is he too old for you, too young or just right?: He's younger then me, but not TOO young
do you stare out your window and just think about him?: Yeah especially in the past couple weeks
has anyone ever questioned your love for him in a bad way?: Yeah
has anyone ever said that you could do better?: They say that to him

Final Fantasies

when having sex, would you more likely be on top or the bottom?: I'm the top, or the seme ha ha :D
would have sex on the kitchen counter?: Done it
the couch?: Done it
the floor?: Done it
the shower?: Done it
the bed?: Done it
on a hammock?: Thas a new one, gotta do that one
in the tub?: Done it
in public?: Uh....sorta
on camera?: I was SO CLOSE
in front of close friends?: Sorta...
in a McDonalds bathroom?: Nah
on a live cam for web viewers?: Nah
would you ever have anal sex?: I'm a gay man whatchu think?
does size matter to you?: My size does.
do you prefer tall, average or short guys?: My wifey is short. So is Hyde...so yeah...
should he have a certain hair color?: I like my wifey's black hair
would you have sex on the first date if he asked you?: I would have dropped fuckin dead if he asked. But it was 2 weeks later
would you have sex in his car?: Neither one of us has a car
would you runaway just to be with him?: He ran away to be with me
would you announce it over a loudspeaker that you love him?: If I had one
would you do a crazy stunt to prove your love for him?: I did already do you make it obvious you love him to certain people?: Like all the fuckin time
do you think about having sex with him non-stop?: Yup
would you travel the world to find him if he left?: Hell yeah
when he talks, do you get chills?: Sometimes
are you a nervous wreck around him?: Nah
does the way he makes you feel make you laugh and smile alot?: Smile a lot yeah
if he ever looks at you, do you turn away quickly?: Never
if you were dared to tell him how you feel, would you?: I already did
do you find yourself staring at him, without him ever knowing?: Yeah
would you compete for his heart?: Hell yeah
would you introduce yourself to his parents?: His parents dont like me
could he put his trust in you?: Yup
could you put your trust in him?: Hell yeah
what song makes you think of him, if any?: Usually any love song I listen to
if he came up to you and said he loved you, what would you do?: Tell him I love him too
describe him in at least 5 words: Sweet, gentle, adorable, forgiving, loving

Annnnd im done

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
04:36 p.m. on
Thursday, July 22, 2004

say the words of Love >Im NOT home
OST >silence

I got kicked out of my happy home cuz Im a fuckin moron. I made a mistake an i know enough to say I did. I've been told Im stupid enough times but god do I need that verbal abuse more then ever now. I made a mistake an my wifey kicked me out. He didn't actually say "get out" he jus said he didn't really wanna see me for a few days. I took Lezzie's advice an thought it best to give him a couple days to cool off. but he's not accepting my apology an Im jus about ready to kill myself.

Ive been stayin with KP an Hye Sung for the past...forever. it all feels like forever. Anyway I've been stayin with them an I guess life goes on for now. I've still been goin to work an wutnot but god...I feel so fuckin miserable. My wifey is mad at me, he's not accepting my apology which is the first time in like 8 yrs. Im scared he's gonna realize what a fuckin failure I am an drop me. I always did say I was lucky havin him. Now it feels like my luck ran out. My world seriously turns for him. If he's not there anymore then....what the fuck is my world gonna turn for?

Yeah I am dramatic

Yeah I am one of those romance stories where one person can't go on livin without the other

Yeah Im pathetic in that sense but I dont give a fuck.

I'm so sorry, Mikey I'm so sorry.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
07:05 p.m. on
Friday, July 9, 2004

say the words of Love >Aww no one loves me. Another survey then
OST >Hyde > Hideaway

Well...i got no reason to blog so another survey it is. I'm a tad arrogant I love to talk about myself :D

About You*

What is your name?: Ji Sun
Are you named after anyone?: Great grandfather from my umma's side
What's your screename?: Sunrize but there's more to it then that :D
Would you name a child of yours after you?: I dun like children
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: i have no idea
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: I like my name
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: Yeah constantly is why I go by Sunnie
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: Sure my last name is common enough among Korean folk

Basics *

Your gender:: male
Straight/Gay/Bi:: gay
Single?: NOPE :D
If not, do you want to be?: hell no i love my wifey <3
Birthdate:: September 15th
Your age:: 23
Age you act:: Naaah i should be responsible by this age an not a fanboi
Age you wish you were:: I wish i was 21 again that was a good year
Your height:: 5'10-ish closer to 6 even
Eye color:: brown
Happy with it?: yeah cuz Im perfect
Hair color:: black still
Happy with it?: yeah cuz I did cuz of Hyde plus is easier to maintain
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty
Your living arrangement:: me an the wifey
Your family:: my umma, my boys an the wifey
Have any pets?: I can barely take care of myself
Whats your job: register at the MG store
Piercings?: ears, tongue, belly button
Tattoos?: Jus 2. Wifey's name on the ring finger, and an angel on my ribcage goin towards the back
Obsessions?: Right now its Hyde
Addictions?: Hyde oh an sex.
Do you speak another language?: Really, really badly
Have a favorite quote?: nah
Do you have a webpage?: This is it

Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it*

Do you live in the moment?: I use to till it almost killed me
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: nah Im too self centered
Do you have any secrets?: Nah cuz I got no shame.
Do you hate yourself?: Hell no cuz Im perfect
Do you like your handwriting?: Nah its chicken scratch
Do you have any bad habits?: I smoke a lot, I'm real blunt to others no matter what, Im not dependable, I'm really lazy, I don't always eat...wow how am I married?
What is the compliment you get from most people?: How hot I am :D
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Ego Trip
What's your biggest fear?: Loosin my wifey
Can you sing?: Nah
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: No cuz I'm already cool
Are you a loner?: Sorta, not really
What are your #1 priorities in life?: Me, myself and I
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yeah cuz I'm jus too fucking hot
Are you a daredevil?: I use to be
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I fear myself sometimes
Are you passive or agressive?: I've become passive the longer my wifey is around me
Do you have a journal?: doi
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: My greatest strength is my wifey. Anything good I do is cuz of him an my weakness is my ego
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Nothin cuz I'm perfect
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yup
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Nope
Do you think life has been good so far?: Yeah, I'm a lucky sonofabitch
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Love
What do you like the most about your body?: Everything cuz I'm fuckin sexy
And least?: Nothing :D
Do you think you are good looking?: fuck yeah I'm hot
Are you confident?: No not at all :D
What is the fictional character you are most like?: I unno
Are you perceived wrongly?: Not really no

Do You*...

Smoke?: I'm smokin now lets put it that way
Do drugs?: not anymore
Read the newspaper?: Nope
Pray?: yeeeeah but not in that tradtional sense. It usually happens when I'm having sex :D
Go to church?: Unless you count the temple of David's body nope.
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yeah cuz they usually IM me for a reason
Sleep with stuffed animals?: I got my wifey
Take walks in the rain?: Only if I have to
Talk to people even though you hate them?: No. why would I if I hate em?
Drive?: Nah
Like to drive fast?: I don't drive

Would or Have You Ever*?

Liked your voice?: yup
Been out of the country?: yeah
Eaten something that made other people sick?: I unno
Been in love?: I am now
Done drugs?: Yup in the past. Surprised I'm alive now
Gone skinny dipping?: yeah
Had a medical emergency?: Yup. Had my stomach pumped
Had surgery?: Not really
Ran away from home?: Couple times. I always went back though
Played strip poker: Yup
Gotten beaten up?: Yeah. >.> damn Hye Sung
Beaten someone up?: In my youth
Been picked on?: No one would dare
Been on stage?: nah
Thought about suicide?: nope
Pulled an all nighter?: my teenage yrs were an all nighter
If yes, what is your record?: 4-5 days
Longest no sleep: a full week
Gone one day without food?: a week
Talked on the phone all night?: Nah
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Yeah
Slept all day?: Ah the good life
Killed someone?: been close to it
Made out with a stranger?: Nah...well okay yeah
Had sex with a stranger?: Nah....well okay yeah
Thought you're going crazy?: Nah
Kissed the same sex?: the wifey <3
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: But of course
Been betrayed?: Nah
Had a dream that came true?: Yup
Broken the law?: Constantly
Met a famous person?: Yeah in Korea
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Yeah
On purpose?: nope
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: I got a big mouth. A secret, even mine is not safe
Stolen anything?: oh yeah
Been on radio/tv?: no
Been in a mosh-pit?: nah
Had a nervous breakdown?: Nah I'm far too mellow for that
Had a dream that kept coming back?: nope

Beliefs*

Believe in life on other planets?: sure
Miracles?: yeah cuz it's a miracle I'm still alive
Astrology?: sometimes
Magic?: yeah
God?: I'm not allowed to cuz I'm gay :D
Satan?: Sure
Santa?: No
Ghosts?: yes
Luck?: Hell yeah
Love at first sight?: Yeah <3
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Yup
Witches?: sorta
Easter bunny?: no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: I'm doin it for 8 yrs
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: Nah
Do you wish on stars?: no

Deep Theological Questions*

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: I unno I never thought about it
Do you think God has a gender?: I unno
Do you believe in organized religion?: Naaaaah they jus hypocrites
Where do you think we go when we die?: i unno

Friends*

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: I know myself :D
Who is your best friend?: the wifey
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Hye Sung
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: You have to stop. There's no other way around it. Stop.
Your favourite inside joke?: I dont got one
Thing you're picked on most about?: how lazy I am
Who's your longest known friend?: Hye Sung
Newest?: Gab
Shyest?: KP
Funniest?: Sun Hae
Sweetest?: KP
Closest?: the wifey
Weirdest?: Thas pretty much me
Smartest?: KP an Lezzie
Ditziest?: me
Friends you miss being close to the most?: none I see my boys an talk to Lezzie constantly
Last person you talked to online?: no one
Who do you talk to most online?: no one
Who are you on the phone with most?: Lezzie
Who listens to your problems?: my wifey
Who do you fight most with?: Hye Sung
Who's the nicest?: Kp
Who's the most outgoing?: me
Who's the best singer?: KP
Who's on your shit-list?: no one
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Hell yeah.
Who's your second family?: my boys an the wifey
Do you always feel understood?: Sorta
Who's the loudest friend?: Lezzie
Do you trust others easily?: Sorta
Who's house were you last at?: KP and Hye Sung's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: my wifey's
Do your friends know you?: Yup
Friend that lives farthest away:: Lezzie

Love and All That*

Do you consider love a mistake?: Yeah but it's somethin you live with an sometimes it turns out good
What do you find romantic?: when my wifey comes home tired from work and/or school an had a bad day an jus lays with me. It makes me feel needed
Turn-on?: My wifey is one big turn on. Then there's Hyde. Everything Hyde does is a turn on
Turn-off?: Girls.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: Sexy. It happens everyday is a big ego stroke for me
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: Yeah I wanted to know my wifey beforehand
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: uh......
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Nah
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Fuck yeah :D
What is best about the opposite sex?: How they notice details usually missed on your own about yourself
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex: How they can't seem to take no for an answer
What's the last present someone gave you?: Got a little bear thing
Are you in love?: Yup
Do you consider your significant other hot?: fuck yeah

Right This Moment*

Are you going out?: Yeah maybe
Will it be with your significant other?: nah
What are you wearing right now?: jeans an a wife beater
Body part you're touching right now:: My mouth cuz I'm still smokin
What are you worried about right now?: if i have enough money in my wallet
What book are you reading?: i dont read
What's on your mousepad?: sont have one
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: sexy, thirsty, horny, slightly hungry, anxious
Are you bored?: Nah
Are you tired?: Not really
Are you talking to anyone online?: nope
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: nah
Are you lonely or content?: content
Are you listening to music?: Always got Hyde on somewhere

And I'm done. I should go out today. I made fun of Woo last night cuz he got a tattoo done an he was jus being a pussy about it. Ha ha ha :D Hm I should go see Minni or Lisa. I need to get all perfectified. My eyebrows need grooming. I need a chick for that. Ah fuck but I unno if I got enough money for a cab an I dont wanna take the train...shit. I should call Minni over. Yeah I think I will I'll call one of them over. Laters.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
03:55 p.m. on
Friday, June 25, 2004

say the words of Love >Another Survey
OST >L'arc en ciel > Trick

Because I love talkin about myself.

Thirteen random things you like: no particular order
01) Myself cuz Im fuckin sexy
02) My wifey
03) My boys
04) Hyde
05) Everything Hyde does
06) My cigarettes
07) KY warming gel
08) My wifey’s cooking
09) Chillen with my boys
10) Hyde..no wait I said Hyde, um, Hyde’s music
11) Porn and lots of it
12) Booze cuz Im Korean.
13) Sleepin

Twelve movies
01) Moonchild!!!!
02) Battle Royale
03) Snatch
04) Enter the Dragon
05) Rush Hour
06) Gohatto
07) Pirates of the Caribbean
08) Gladiator
10) Romeo and Juliet (recent version)
11) Interview with a Vampire
12) Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Eleven good bands/artists:
01) L'Arc~en~Ciel
02) Hyde
03) Eve
04) Drunken Tiger
05) A Perfect Circle
07) J
08) X-Japan
09) Muse
10) Anodyne
11) FAKE

Ten things about you...physically:
01) I am perfect
02) I am the perfect height of 5’10, closer to 6 feet tall
03) My waist is an exact 21 inches
04) My stomach is rock hard
05) My hair is like silk
06) My skin is soft and flawless
07) I have little to no body hair
08) I’m known to have a “shotgun” :D
09) I can undulate :D
10) I have a talented tongue

Nine good friends: - not in any particular order
01) Mikey <3
02) KP
03) Hye Sung
04) David
05) Chak Hae
06) Chun Hae
07) the rest of my boys
08) Lezzie
09) Woo

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01) Water
02) wifey’s cooking
03) David’s umma’s cookin
04) my umma’s cooking
05) cookies
06) Smirnoff Black Ice
07) Smirnoff Twists
08) Blowjobs

Seven things you wear daily:
01) boxers
02) socks
03) shirts
04) pants
05) my wedding ring
06) watch
07) buddha beads Lezzie gave me

Six things that annoy you:
01) Bible thumpers
02) People who think I’m not hot…cuz they stupid
03) People think THEY’RE hot when they not
04) gay bashers
05) Hye Sun on his power trips
06) Hyde’s wife

Five things you touch everyday:
01) Myself
02) Wifey
03) the cellie
04) door knobs
05) money

Four shows you watch:
01) Will and Grace
02) Ricki Lake
03) -
04) -

Three places you go regularly:
01) Bed
02) Work
03) KP an Hye Sung’s place

Two of your favorite books: (I don’t read)
01) -
02) -

One person you want to see right now:
01) The wifey

FUCK MAN. Work blows sumtimes. I got hit on some more, got 3 more sticky pics of chicks who dig me. Yeeeah chicks dig me. Welp, I guess it can't be helped. I'd dig me too if I saw me on the street. When I got home, my wifey was here so we watched a movie together cuz I love snugglin with the wife. :D no sex though cuz jus as we were about to get into it, KP called -sigh- an asked us to come over an chill cuz we all havent chilled since i got married. So we went an lots of people were there. we chilled an whatnot, nothin special, had dinner there cuz KP cooked for us jus like when we were in Korea! it was fun seein KP back in the kitchen cookin for us an tryin to take orders of what to make. Wifey wanted to help but KP wouldn't let him so...it was fun. Jus us guys.

After that wifey an I left cuz we all had stuff to do tomorrow. Wifey's got work so we had sex :D finally an he's sleepin now. I'm jus sated. It's been fuckin forever since we got to bone. But im better now. Ive been thinkin of gettin back on AIM...cuz I miss talkin to some people. If i remember to. Kay imma watch Hyde. Im done.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
09:27 p.m. on
Saturday, June 19, 2004

say the words of Love >Survey time!
OST >Larc en ciel > Route 666

[1] if there were three people you wanted to spend the rest of your life with... who would it be? why?: Can’t be 3. Cuz I luv my wifey, an I love my boys. I need more then 3.
[2] if the one you love loves someone else, what would you do?
Ah not a problem cuz he loves me so there
[3] what was the biggest mistake you have done?
Well sittin on that roof when I was drunk wasn’t too smart
[4] if you could turn back time, what would you have done?
Not sat on a fuckin roof
[5] if you like sum1 ryt now.. what is it in him/her that made you fall?
I loved that my wifey was unlike anyone I knew
[6] would you consider yourself lucky at this point bcoz of sum1?
Hell yeah. Im the luckiest fuckin bastard in the world
[7] what did he/she do?
Tolerated me in every single way
[8] what is the greatest sacrifice you have done for love?
I didn’t do anythin cuz Im a selfish bastard but he’s done everything for me.
[9] who is the person you would call 'my life' right now?
My wifey <3
[10] do you believe in love at first sight?
Fuck yeah
[11] if you have a bestfriend in the oposite sex, why of all did you pick him/her?
I unno
[12] what if you fell inlove with your bestfriend? would you tell?
Wouldn’t happen cuz she’s a girl :D
[13] destiny or magic?
destiny

Dark Traits
NAME: Sunnie
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE NORMAL: not to a lot of people
DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: not really
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: Nope. Apparently I cant cuz im gay
DO YOU SIN ALOT: I LIVE in sin
DO YOU BACKSTAB: Never
ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: ……sure
ARE YOU IN LOVE: YUP
ARE YOU YOUNG: I guess
EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING: Nah I’m not the oldest
EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: Not…killed.
LAST ODD THING DONE: -
DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: Nah
DO YOU REBEL: Yup
EVER STARTED A FIRE: Nah
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL: Nah jus arrogant
DO YOU LIKE LYING: hell no shit gets you in trouble
DO YOU REGRET: Never
DO YOU HAVE A BESTFRIEND: Yup
DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: Yup :D
DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: Nah Im too lazy to hold a grudge
CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: I’ve been close to it
DO YOU CUT YOURSELF?: Hell no then I’d scar
EVER TASTED BLOOD: Yup
DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU: Naaaaah
ARE YOU GOTHIC: Furthest thing from it
DO YOU SMOKE: Sure do
CONSUME DRUGS: I’m not allowed to
WHAT DO YOU WEAR: jeans, shirts, boots, sneakers
YOUR SKIN COLOR: pale
DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: noooo
HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL: horrible
YOUR ROLE MODEL: my hyung
YOU'RE LISTENING TO: HYDE!
DO U HATE YOURSELF: Never Im too perfect

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Ji Sun
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Bravery by Larc
4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Had a sandwich
5. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Nah
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? red
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Its cool
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Minni noona
Woo no 9!
10. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Tired
11. FAVORITE DRINK? Lemonade
12. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Smirnoff Black Ice an recently twists
13. FAVORITE SPORT? None thas like movement…
14. HAIR COLOR? Black
No 15 either!
16. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope cuz im perfect
17. SIBLINGS? None
18. FAVORITE MONTH? June
19. FAVORITE FOOD? None
20.THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Uhhhhhh
21. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? My wifey’s birthday
No 22 too!
23. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? My action figures
24. SUMMER OR WINTER? spring
25. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses I love kissin my wifey
26. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla
27 is MIA!
28. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? -
29. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? -
30. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Me an the wifey
31. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I don’t cry
32. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? My wifey’s shoes
33. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? All them
34. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Slept with my wifey
35. FAVORITE SMELLS? My wifey’s hair, his skin, cigarette smoke on my clothes

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
12:08 a.m. on
Saturday, June 12, 2004

say the words of Love >Damn it was hot
OST >L'arc en ciel > Milky Way

fuck man I hate when it gets hot in NYC. Cuz it fuckin BURNS. On the upside, I did this cute thing with my hair today an I got hit on some more :D All I did was pull all of it back with a headband. Chicks dug it.

Ah so...yeah work was aite for the most part. I had to do somethin when the halmunni came in an saw the girls jus standing around looking at me. They bought stuff and I had to ring it up. Blah fucking work. Anyway I came home an wifey was home YEAH! so he made me dinner...or lunch. Whatever i dont know so then he went to nap cuz he had a headache. He jus started goin back to work from being sick so...I didn't wanna bother him. Meanwhile my balls are turnin so blue i can start storing frozen food there.Woo stopped by later...then i went to see Lisa and Khaymen. Aww Khaymen so's fluffy. I wasn't allowed to hold him though. That is ALL Minni's fault. Noona tol Lisa how I nearly lost Jinu...fuckin a man that was like a million yrs ago. She really needs to let that shit go.

Toki: Yeah HA get your own freakin copy of 7 Days in Shibuya! MY HYDE! MINE. Well at least I like to think so. I'll BE a dick then. I got to see it first HA HA.

Joryu: I dunno how he got it. Thas what the doctor said. It lost me though I was jus...worried.

Miya: Yes...yes she did. And the layout is hot cuz its Hyde and its red, the color of lust and passion. Yeah I didnt knoe that on my own...I had to be told. Although now I like red cuz I associate it with Hyde. :D

Man...I need a neck rub...and I need to have sex. And a cigarette. At least I can have a cigarette. I'm so depressed.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
08:40 p.m. on
Wednesday, June 9, 2004

say the words of Love >First one back!
OST >Hyde > Hideaway

yeEEEaH! Im back! Who missed me?????? I knoe you all missed me, is okay you can say so. Is what I got the tag board for. HahhAhhAh

Ah...so yeah im still chill I went through some shit before. My wifey had..pnem...pnemoni...that thing. You know what Im gettin at. yeah he had THAT. Mah poor wifey. I was scared for him cuz...if not taken care of, he could die. So I called in minni noona an my umma to take care of him for me while I watched him. I had to sleep on the couch though. That pissed me off to no end cuz i love sleepin next to my wifey. But he's better now so I get to sleep in my bed again.

Work is not so bad though. I filled up a sticker book already so I had to get another one. girls love. yeeeeeah they dig me. So I filled up the first page already. Girls are...so not subtle. I kinda learned this watchin them all come in MG all the time jus to stare at me. My bitchy coworkers btw all left too. They had to go back to school or...the mall or sumthin i dunno. But is jus me an this other girl an she dont bother me so its cool. The nice halmunni there loves that Im there cuz Im good for business. Ha ha.

KP an the crew are all chill. KP is jus dealin with his emotional shit as always. I almost got into a fight with him when he wouldn't cut his girl-shit out an tell maddie he loves her. He wont tell her. Fuck i was about to hit him cuz he's scared too. Fuckin KP! He didnt tell her but at least he stopped cryin about it. I tol him to go cry to Lisa cuz I couldn't handle his shit. Damnit you got somethin say, SAY IT. I cant stand when people jus beat around the bush like that. YEAH KP IM TALKIN TO YOU. I still love you though man jus knock it off man.

Other then that we all good. FUCK HYDE IS SEXY. I FINALLY bought SMILE an...I put it in rotation with 666 so I'm fuckin delirious. I cant believe at this age Im turnin into a fanboi. I think is jus cuz he's hot. I can pick Hyde up an run away with him! :D No seriously I can. I'm almost 6 feet tall. Hyde is like 5 nothin so...yeah I can. YEEEEAH I love this layout. Kay imma go oggle it some more an then go chill for a bit. I need a shower an food cuz the wifey is makin me eat.

Inside my head I hear these voices telling me
09:00 p.m. on
Monday, June 7, 2004