sAbrina : ...tHeSe aRe mY cOnfEsSiOnS...

Thursday, February 17, 2005
03:50 p.m.

At CS tutorial today.. one of our coursemates presented the topic on communication in relationships.. came across verses that i found meaningful.. so decided to record it down...

"If you are looking for eternity in a relationship then you are bound to fail."

"A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment -- it is a lesson learnt."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
11:02 p.m.

La grace juste m'a indiqué quelque chose aujourd'hui. Quelque chose que j'ai su tous le long de mais étais peu disposée à faire face. Je ne suis pas censé être avec une personne qui est un non-Chrétien. Conjecture n'a pas exigé. Un non-Christ-croyant d'Andy. Je sais pourquoi Dieu le veut de cette façon. Nous sommes tous ici pour le servir, améliorez son nom. Être avec un non-Chrétien signifierait ne pas pouvoir le servir de tout coeur, puisque limite de there're à être conflit. Frottement. Et le rapport ne finira pas vers le haut n'importe où. Cos là ne sert aucune de base au rapport en premier lieu. Argh.

What I really meant: "Grace just told me something today. Something that I knew all along but was reluctant to face. I am not supposed to be with a person who is a non-Christian. No guesses required. Andy's a non-Christ-believer. I know why God wants it this way. We are all here to serve Him, glorify His name. Being with a non-Christian would mean not being able to serve Him wholeheartedly, since there're bound to be conflict. Friction. And the relationship will not end up anywhere. Cos there's no basis for the relationship in the first place. Argh."

Monday, February 14, 2005
12:27 p.m.

Valentine's Day. It is not even over yet but i feel as though i have just went through lots of Valentine's days with d. Told d earlier on last night that my dad will only be fetching me back to hall at about one plus in the morning. Purpose was to make sure he doesn't fall asleep before 12am. At 11.53pm, 13 Feb 2005, managed to sneak into his room when he wasnt around (he was at a Hall Production meeting.. and i got the keys from someone else.. hehx..)... Lighted candles and sparklers in his room.. then he came back.. haha.. and i gave him the first present for Valentine's --- a model of a bike.

then that idiot made me vaccuum his room for him and he went away... to prepare for his surprise, i was told later on...to cook instant noodles that he had cycled all da way out to get... and the flowers he ordered... and that was supper on Vday morning in block 72's tv lounge...

and the biggest surprise.. was that he went to learn how to play "The Reason by Hoobastank" on the guitar from charles.. hahaha.. and he sang it for me while playing.. super touched le..then i gave him the next of the presents.. the Marshmallow cushion and the packet containing all kinds of chocolates.. bahaha... a conspiracy to let him gain weight.. hahaha...bleh... Oh.. and the t-shirt i designed and got it printed... it says ANDY&SABRINA (in small fonts of course) on the front... and CONFESSIONS 031204 on the back.. there's still one more present that's in my cupboard that i have yet to give.. bahaha.. will leave it to the end of the day ba..

Thursday, February 10, 2005
02:49 a.m.

It's getting scary. But the distance seems to be here. The invisible barrier's lurking. And we wonder why. Sometimes you have just got to face things the way they are. Even if it means letting them consume you. You are just breatheless. Lacking the energy to fight. Battle's obviously one-sided. Victory's nowhere to be seen. It's like trying to keep a pile of sand from slipping out of your fingers. Nothing you can do. Nothing you know of that you can do. That's what make things fill you with anguish. Standing right alongside it and there's practically nothing you can do to prevent it.

Monday, February 7, 2005
01:59 a.m.

I made a Quiz for you guys! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

Monday, February 7, 2005
12:32 a.m.

http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2003/ps2/finalfantasyx2/1117/final_screen028.jpg

Last day of work on 6 February 2005 as UOB's CashPlus Roadshow Promoter. Met lotsa people today. And man do i mean LOTS. haha. Met HuilinG. Met yuaN xIa aNd bF. Met yOng sIoNg. Met kenMun. and then zHenMiNg. hmmmX. yeA. meMorY suRge.

Anyway, have got to carry on with my tutorials le. CareZ.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005
03:01 a.m.

Busy. Hectic. These are all the types of words that i can find to describe the week im currently enduring. Last friday saturday and sunday was work all da way for me. No time for any tutorials at all. But was rather satisfied though. Sold lotsa credit cards. Hehx. Anyway, just finished printing my notes. Gotta go for now. See ya around. Mister Blog. Durh.

http://www.thecorrs.it/html/lookalikes/a/rinoa09.jpg

Thursday, January 27, 2005
12:37 p.m.

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Talk about not wanting a screwed up day earlier on. Shoosh. Woke up at exactly 8.31am this morning when my class is at 8.30am. Argh. Slept at 6am. Shouldn't have done so it seems. By the time i arrive at the seminar room, it was already 9.08am. Missed six slides in total. Was in a state of absolute loss. No idea what the professor was trying to convey to us. Sighs.

Desperately need sleep now. But apparently i don't seem to be able to find any time for it. Lessons gonna end at 6.30pm. Hall activities all the way until 10pm. And then i've to complete my tutorials since over the weekend i won't be free to entertain any of them. Most probably end up sleeping late tonight again. And then i'll have to wake up at like about 10am tomorrow?? To go to work?? It's gonna be consecutively for 3 days?? 12 till 9 pm?? Argh. Tell me about sleeping man.

Totally drained out now. Currently in NBS's free access lab again. Doing project.

Thursday, January 27, 2005
02:40 a.m.

http://users.bigpond.net.au/marinov/images/aaj%20Toulouse%20Krisi%20tired.jpg

Not in the right frame of mind currently. Came back from reading room. To refreshen up a little. Planning not to sleep today. Going straight for my morning classes later. Have to finish all my tutorials. In the room with trixie and wai keat. We're eating noodles and im drinking coffee to try and boost my endurance level. It's gonna be a long day later. I'll pray for the best. I dare not ask for more. I only wish for a day that's totally not screwed up at all. Ain't a lot, is it?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
11:45 p.m.

http://membres.lycos.fr/uploadrap/photos/cloudstrife.JPG

"It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do I feel the pain
With or without you

Baby I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are gettin' out of hand
Tryin' too much but baby we can't win
Let it go
If you want me girl let me know
I am down on my knees
I can't take it anymore

Baby don't misunderstand
What I'm tryin' to tell ya
In the corner of my mind
Baby it feels like we're running out of time
Let it go
If you want me girl let me know
I am down on my knees
I can't take it anymore.."

Anywayz people.. Do support my hall's FOC canvassing event for Valentine's.. www.hall15.com/sweetroses... If possible.. put, in the 'referred by' field, my name and my committee.. i.e. sabrina(welfare)... thanks and tkcare..

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
09:44 a.m.

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About to go and meet weijun for pilates class soon. So in the meantime, i shall do some blogging.

In the past few days, the two of us seem to be in the wrong mode of emotions. Depression, i'd say. Wanted to break into tears a couple of times for reasons unknown. But luckily, managed to refrain myself from doing so. And then last night, d tried to make things better again. Surprises. Made clam chowder. Bought a big cow soft-toy that we named Chowder. And purchased a chinese vcd which we watched together last night. No one, not even he himself, will ever know how touched i was by his efforts. Haix. Gotta go.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
10:53 a.m.

wHeN fAtE iS cOmiN tO aN eNd, tHeRe'S nOtHiN aNyoNe cAn dO tO curB iT.. wE cAn oNLy wAtch iT sLiP oUt oF ouR fiNgerS as tHe sEcOnDs tiCk by..

Monday, January 24, 2005
06:42 p.m.

Freak. Im seriously on the verge of breaking down. It is just a matter of time. Crap, im tellin ya. Tomorrow's the bloody accounting test and apparently i am not the least bit prepared. THIS, my friend, is seriously, totally and unusually out of the world man. Im in deep shit.

Monday, January 24, 2005
03:23 a.m.

http://www.cornwall.gov.uk/images/children.jpg

Tada. Not sure if i am supposed to be relieved or sad, but nothing happened at the chalet. Mr Acting-Nice was trying so hard to play nice. Appreciate his efforts though. At least he didn't try taunting my mom again. So, happily ever after i guess. hehx.

Finally got to see GuoLiang after a long time. He is much good-looking now. No more childish boy. Yep. Nice-going bud!

So Charles, Sher, Mich, Mom and i went to the chalet together. Had fun instead. (Surprisingly. haha). Probably because kor was there. Third unc was there. AiLee jiejie was there. They are all the rare and great relatives that we have in the whole of this family tree thingy. Yep. hehx. Then as we were about to leave Andy called to say he had reached the chalet already. I was really surprised man. He told me he was on his way home, and apparently he told a white lie. Nevertheless, was really elated that he came. Four of us - Charles sher andy and i - went to the MacDonalds' at Downtown east to grab some supper. Had fun there too.

*yawnZ* trying hard to keep myself awake so as to update this blog. Apparently i aint doing a good job. Im not even sure what i was typing above. So pardon me if they dont make any sense or if they sounded un-me. Sighs... It's gonna be a terrible week, i foresee...

Monday morn, which is a couple of hours later, i'll be up and trying to study Accounts.. then to school all da way until 6.30.. at 8 i've FOC meeting which most prob's gonna last ard an hour ++...and then after the whole thing it's back to Accounts again... GOne is my monday...
Tuesday..even crappier.. accounting test...school's gonna last all da way till 6.30 as usual...and then at 7 i've bible study at clara's creep.. then when im back hall i'll have to do my FM as well as do up my project presentation...presenting next week...hell...Gone's my tuesday...
Wednesday...slightly loosened up... pilates at 10.30 in the morning...then comm studies lecture at 4.30pm...thursday.. lessons.... friday saturday sunday gonna work for UOB.. to help them promote CashPlus...

i seriously have no idea what the heck im blabbering here already.. super tired.. lids are heavy.. throat's dry.. body's un-straightening.. gotta go.. nitex..

Friday, January 21, 2005
06:01 p.m.

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Leaving for home from hall soon. I've finally completed my GE report as well as my stats tutorial. Have to buck up a little bit more and i'll be on track again. So buckle up people! hehx.

Kind of bored right now. Waiting for the washing machine to clear my second basket of laundry. Should be done any moment now. And i'll be off and running.

Be going to GuoLiang's 21st birthday chalet tomorrow. Excellent. Why?? Cos sher and me are gonna be wreaking havoc there. And we do MEAN wreaking havoc. Not trying to be metaphorical or whatsover. Wreak havoc. That's exactly what we're gonna do. Revenge?? Perhaps. But we are not the barbaric sort. We do it the civilised way. Unlike their unforgivable and disgusting behaviour. They made an abyss in our family. We shall make a crevasse for them.

It is not GuoLiang that we're talking about here. It is his father. And we'll have our ways to deal with him alone only. We won't wanna make GuoLiang's birthday an unmemorable one. So relax bud. Ain't gonna do anything to destroy your party, nor chase away all your girlfriends.

We WON'T wreak havoc for no reasons. We would only do so if his father is gonna start any monkey business and try to disturb our mom again. Cowardly bastard. Despite my 19 years of effort trying to respect you as an elderly, you have time and again tested my patience. So what if you're rich?? It is nothing but filth when it comes to you. Parasite, that's what you are. We might be poor. We might be a broken family. But what we have is dignity, and we do not go around destroying families. All thanks to you. You have contributed well to what my family has become today.

Will never forget what you made me did early last year. My mom's your own biological sister. I have never seen a brother as cold-blooded as you are. Trashed our mom in front of everyone when me and my sis aint around. Criticised her so much she cried. Did not even bother to save her some dignity. Purposely agitated my father so that he'll trash my mom too. Ain't the first time. You've always tried to act like a nice man in front of me and my sister. Save it up loser. Your mask is peeling off. Can't believe you have to let mich see all these shit of yours too. She's only 9, bastard. Have you got no heart. Bet you lost it the moment you were born.

Darn. You are trully invincible when it comes to making people slip into depression. You have fully succeeded in making me tear for you even when im just blogging all these shit. Hell. You've totally destroyed my mood. Don't you dare try to make life hell for my mom tomorrow again. This time, sher and i will make sure we are there. No more shit from you. I will scream at you again if i have to, although seriously speaking, i can't be bothered with you. I don't wanna be a disrespectful child. Don't make me one. It is especially nauseating for me to become a bad-mannered girl because of you.

I'll still call you my uncle. Cos you are my uncle, no matter what. Family ties. I know what they mean. Apparently you don't. Because you won't even let your own sister off.

http://www.delcoicac.com/images/sad_girl1.jpg

Friday, January 21, 2005
11:01 a.m.

Just woke up a while ago. dd went to work le. roadshow promoter. think mine will only start next week. went chinablack last night in the end. trix managed to help us get the tix. six of us went there together. Me, andy, trixie, wai keat, russell, and russell's roomie. met richard and gary there too. was supposed to meet weiming but we never got the chance. too crowded and difficult to find. was lazy also. had fun. but now i'll have to suffer the aftermath. tutorials tutorials tutorials. tests tests tests. damn it la.

D's entry for 19 Jan.. pretty touched.. =)
"A hot afternoon now. Thursday and waiting for ting ting to get me my beef fried rice.(sounds mcp ya?? ahahah) Anyway, had a really medicore week, nuthing much to really reflect on. Dreamt of Mrs Chee the night before, and guess guess who is it?? ahahaha no prizes for this simple question. Told ting abt it and she juz smiled at it. How i wish it'll come true. Cant say so absolutely like wat xiang said abt charlene tt she'll be a good wife and a good mum, but ii'll WANT her to be my wife and my children's mum. Sounds ridiculous to some as we've been together not even 2 months but i cant tell u how important she is to me now and how great a gal she is. I really dunno if i can find another gal like her if i ever were to lose her. Anyway, accompanied her to play netball last night at nie. Really had fun as we had the whole place to ourselves and played shooting. Makes me feel great seeing her enjoy herself at the game. Later meeting yanwei and xiehe for xiehe's bday treat at chatterbox. ahahahh a good escape from all the projects and assignments i need to do. And on top all those i'm in god knows how many hall and BA activities and got so many plannings to do. Hope i can get thru all these. Dun wanna mess up any of them."

Thursday, January 20, 2005
03:31 p.m.

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Hell. Getting so bloody irritated with my indecisive nature. Childish mindset. Idiotic peabrain. Nothing but a pain in the neck. That's exactly what i am. Irritating. To the power of infinity. Shits. Argh.

Wanted to go ChinaBlack for the NUS bash. Really. But that decision was made with a brain that apparently was not functioning properly. Pathetic piece of shit. It's pretty obvious I wont be able to make it. Why. Short of cash. The entry tix will cost a bomb. The cab fare will cost a rocket. I have yet to get my allowance from the school. Cant even survive through this week. And the stubborn asshole inside of me insists that i tell d, trix and my friend that i'll be there. Crap i tell ya. A whole bloody bunch of empty crap. And ended up generating irritation all around. Undoubtedly, i am an ass. Darn.

"aGaiNsT mY wiLL i StaNd bEsIDe mY oWn rEfLecTiOn...iT's hAuntIng..hOw i cAn sEEm..."

"TryiN noT tO reAch oUt..BuT wHen i tRieD tO spEaK oUt..feLt LiK nO oNe cOULD hEaR mE..wAntEd tO beLoNG HErE..bUt sOmeThiN feLt sO wrOnG hErE..sO i wOuLd pRay..i cOuLd bReAk aWaY..."

http://helmut.schmidt.velbert.bei.t-online.de/FinalFantasy_X_Yuna_022.jpg