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Monday, August 19, 2002
poo poo headed peotry is a must. i watched poo poo pokin' homosexuals intermingal and talk in a bar this weekend, i was amazed at the generosity of their conversation, yet out of place, i was among the masses. a different bar instilled true hope, as still in the past the heterosexual population showed no real change at all. and i suppose when one doesn't see the change is when comfort finds it's home. a traveling individual circus arrived ,and children went to play, the waitress carded everone. she got a big tip, you could tell that she was not in the best mood. i wasn't either, yet patience proved to once again bring a wealthy spirit. thanks to all the things that slow life down enough to allow appreciation. Monday, August 19, 2002
lets call upon our mentors to ask the question of the times. but wait, mentors are of a different time and ask of different questions. soo into following faith once again. wait, no faith, just into following. finish my thoughts with what you like, just connect me to your soul first and then we can grow. i saw plaines of darkness aparent infinate levels. out of one of the levels grew a sensory organ like an eye, then there were many of them. each able to see eachother and each conmmunicating by shivers. level upon level they grew. then there was an understanding. and then embarrassment. like a grownup on a carnival ride smilling. there is a chance that he can remain dignified but only after strange conversation. i say strange but i know the conversation. i know what it is to have someone tell you that you are dumb and then later apologize for their own lack of patience. we have friends for the commonality of understood word feelings and phrase. building a friendship needs patience, the ability to work upon many levels to understand others structure, level. thank goodness genuine appology feels better than embarrassemnt. Monday, August 19, 2002
devine virgins with poopy heads, he he Friday, August 16, 2002
distant planets of gold when i think of you. what is worth, when it is soo far away. living in time is truely the same feeling. in the eyes of eagle flying high, bird of prey and time went bye. it wispered in soft unison with the universe as it fed from the breast of an innocent soul, a soul fashioned with glory ribbons and tear drops in the brain. oceans of universe with fancifull teaspoons filled with time strengthen the youth for travel. travel to the golden planets where the wealth is soo far away Friday, August 16, 2002
cast away your eyes and see not any branch of my wealth. gladness and worry are surely set within and nestled close to the breast. not a glance would change the weiry into splender. boxes and boxes inside circles and circles could not puzzle a mind in states of splender. oh GOD were have you been. I have been nuzzled away in breath and leisure, but have long awaited your pressence. i forgive you for your sins GOD, but cast your eyes away and see not any branch of my wealth. Friday, August 16, 2002
i am soo lonely, where is my self. is it in a rock is it in a tree, should i see it when i pee. i find my self and all is well, but then i lose it at times and start to wellop in feelings of loss and feelings confusion. why is it only in some moments that these feelings prevail, why should i ever feel such loss? where does it play a role. some things may be better left unsaid and i will be better in a short time but what is it to me? why must i say it? maybe there are questions that need to be asked and i have done just that. maybe the repercussion of fun is lonelyness, yea i am sure that is what it is this time Thursday, August 15, 2002
sensable states in a utopian world. what is taken to make it. i am sure that quit a bit is taken but some is given as
certain laws prevail. conservation of mass governs money flow, an even distribution is communism, and in communism is the lack of certain motivation for the future. you get more to be more or you take it. nothing new, and who are you to question that famen of intuition. no certainties will assume themselve, again we are left with calculated assumptions. it is a good thing computers can crunch numbers. build a program that takes information from all opinions and chat rooms and web sites everywhere. ask it probabilities for anything. will we survive. if all known data was shared to one brained computer we coould learne alot. what i learne from this is that i am sloth. each individual that really wants to help could just share information, just talk to others. we are a collective species and that collection is why we are here today. *apifany* now that we have computers there is no longer a need to remember. what i learne today i can store forget about and then refference later. perfect setup for ADD peoples. or maybe that is what we are becoming little worker ants who gather for the one center which is the internet, the queen ant. it is going to continue to grow, and all information will be assimilated and someone will build a program that will be able to calculate the probability of all information. it is the same thing we did in our evolution up to the point. we can very good assumptions with math and statistics, when will words and knowledge become a math. i consider numbers the first real language, then words, then binary numbers, next knowledge in a consumation to probability. i want to know if we will survive. the program will be called deep thought,,,, LOL (that's for hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) everything is borrowed,,,, even the unknown,,, why not say it again. Wednesday, August 14, 2002
gurgles of frustration wellop in my brain. why did i make a decision years ago to look for the gold at the end of the rainbow. should i give up now? gold is not soo important, who would have ever thought that after finder love for the self that that one could fall out of love with the self. it is common in my brain to understand that the self grows and that is always something new to find and fall in love with, that is a given. i was looking to see self in an individual all i was shown is an individual. all i saw was individual. i forgot how to see self in my journey, i stopped at fools gold and said this will do and convince that i can find, but as a child we all knew what fools gold looked like. i am ashamed, and exillerated that i could finally produce an allusion to suprise myself. i lived quit a while whit no allusion in my life and that could be hard. what is life with no allusion,no fear, could those be our main motivators. could we make are selves weak with them soo that we will run to safer, and more real places. maybe soo but were does love fit in,,, is that nirvana reality and allusion completely comingled. "on the run from Johny allusion, it aint no trip the cleveland." Wednesday, August 14, 2002
today is not a good day. i watch a lyer in the midst of willing truth. although not everything is what it seems i disclaim even my own existance and everthing pertaining to it. fuck limitations, being pissed is such a limitation. ok, breath, and composure. Now it is understandable to use a word for an expression. but when a word is expressed and made perfectlt determinable, it should be a number. numbers are the only closest thing to a determinable representation. i trust nobody that speaks with words as truth. there is no truth, only calculated suggestions made through numbers. when a person says something and swares that it is the absolute, the only way to know how well calculated there idea of that prospect is to judge their past. some people have no right to use definative words, and some people use them and at the same time lie about their past calculations to give the appearance that they are trustworthy when it comes to their words. certain intricasies do need to be looked at and that means that behinf every word of truth spoken there is a calculated risk that the truth is not as true as the inflection presents it. one may ask ,,, who makes the rules of inflection and calculated truth through words. well, each individual is responsable for their own, and each individual will speek his truth, but the man who follows his truths with the words to back his calculations is prolly a pretty trust worthy man,,,,, the man who says nothing, is prolly a lier, Tuesday, August 13, 2002
any possible way to become a star, a listless star, a quarter thrown and then called for sides to decide a fate. we have asked to be deserving. know what they want, and your eyes will be gouged. being blinded, your other senses will evail. or soo i have read. i close my eyes almost eight hours day and i know no better than not. speratic leisure times are foreign to my contra self, i think i will be free of thought now. i think i will stop feeling now. any possible way to become a star, a fathemed universe in a quantumed eyeball. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, NOOOO Tuesday, August 13, 2002
possesion is 9/10ths of the law, and that sounds like a man's rule. a possesion is better than a loan. my life seems borrowed and paybacks are hell. still i overcome and take more. I find bargains. i find things that look expensive, but really they don't have much to them. things that will last forever, but you know that you won't look at every day and go wow i love this thing. But hey, atleast it's yours. it seems that all the things we really want we have to borrow to get or by the time we save up we are to old to enjoy, soo why not borrow. i think that there has to be a way to get exactly what you are looking for with all the luster that you need and all the qualities to last a lifetime at a reasonable price to pay, why settle for anything less Tuesday, August 13, 2002
salvia divinorum, all i have to say is HOLLY SHIT Monday, August 12, 2002
ran for the sun ,, fell straight through. tried to attain enlightenment, and got ADD. i tried to be special and i got a phew spare lifes. i tried school i got bored. i tried drink and got stagnant. i tried writing and put my soul in a coffin. i tried cleaning and got a clean house. i tried masturbation and got a soft penis. i tried to die inside and lost fear of death, may sound good but i believe the fear propogates life. in some ways it feels i have tried everything to get to were i need to be, but the day i gave up i saw something. it was something from nothing and maybe that is what i needed to find,, NOTHING. Monday, August 12, 2002
milk and cookies, what is that feeling. levels upon levels of never knowing things can run missfortune in a burning heart. small tales and and little lies, "i never lies" and just this times, is getting me ill. no i won't tell my opinion, no i won't pretend. on demand and trying to help i understand i am still hated, but i try to see eye to eye soo that the pain is taken away, if only understanding was always a two way street, then maybe i could be a better person, as with it all,, saying, "i understand" and falling down into the night into clouds and through listless plight. on through to a loving self and on through to a natural wealth. go Friday, August 9, 2002
AHHHH ALL BETTER NOW
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