|
[most recent entries]
Monday, October 1, 2001
Hah, well, school today was just about normal, but it definately had extra pizazz. Pe was first, and being that we were playing football, I was less than excited to get on the field and run around like a crazed idiot for an hour. But I did anyway. Except that I actually participated "well enough". Not once did I touch the ball, but I ran around "tackling" people; i.e. pulling off flags, which was good enough for me. Because even though I wouldn't admit it elsewhere, I did have a good time. Bryan and Jesse were making me crack up so so much the entire time. Oh, and in ALgebra i got my little project done late last night, so I hadn't done my homework, but I copied a bunch of them from bryan and the book so I am good to go. We had a sub for biology so we didn't do hardly anything, but i helped martha dye her hair with scented markers. Oh yeah, also...Jared smells like a season. I heard Jessie say Spring and Jenny say Summer. Hmm, I think he smells like if you put baking soda in the oven. You know...it won't burn but it sure smells. Oh, by the way, speaking of smells...: Last summer I discovered that I smell like Macaroni & Cheese. Not that fake stuff with the orange dinosaur on the box, but seriosuly cheddar and pasta made all italian and everything. Also, I was able to converse with the Julie & Mikey folks from the show, and well, it's always nice to get to know new people. They cool, they real cool. Although, after school I was standing and talking when Jessie comes over to say "Hey I'm saving you from major embarrassment...your dad's walking right over here to get you" At which point I scampered over to him. I felt really guilty about it, too, because he is going out of town, and I didn't want him to leave on a bad note. So, I did all my apologizing and everything, which was followed by angry thoughts in my head which consisted mostly of things like>> Why do they have to fly him all over the goddamn country for christ sakes??
WELL, you should know I don't normally write everything in here like this, but today is a "ugh" day at the moment because normally where I would maybe call maggie or something, shes not home yet, and I am home by myself again, and i am bored. [craving for coors kicks in] Don't worry...it's non-alcoholic. Nyuck nyuck. Yep, where most people just like alcohol and getting drunk, i actually like bitter tasting barley beer. Yup, I have retard tastebuds. Here's some stuff I eat "raw" or without anything else on it:
Vinegar, mustard, onions, bell peppers, coffee. Others but I can't remember.
Sunday, September 30, 2001
Sorry I haven't written for so long. Hah, you would have thought I was kidnapped or something...Anyway, here's what's been going on in my little insignificant life lately:
-started at new school, Branham, which sucks more than del mar, I'll give you that. Everyone says Del Mar is "hella ghetto" but God, Branham is way more ghetto. They have about 5 different choices for elecitves. icks.
-I feel saucy. Mwahaha, I just feel really good about my classes and all. I feel real secure.
-Been to some really good shows lately. Umm, to be short, check out the coolest acordion player ever, Jason Webley. (jasonwebley.com. numbnut) And On friday i went to the Cactus Club to see A Burning Water + Keeping Ellis + Rohner (crap,sp?)+ Olympic Year + Shortie (no show for them, though)But i had such a good time! Maggie and I met up with Julie, were later accompanied by Nick and Mikey, and then Jessie. Ahh, they are all quite characters, I must say. It was cool, too, since they were sitting on the side of the stage, and so later I kind of stuck myself up there, too, so I felt bad since I stole one of their spots...but anyway, i also realized later that night that there was this one point where mikey had moved to get some photos, (right on for photos!!) so he was standing up, in between maggie and I, and he wasn't completely up against the wall, so I reached under him and grabbed maggie's arm to ask her a question when I realized...it wasn't her arm, it was his leg. har har. I hope no one thinks I'm a sexual pervert. (Here's where Jessie, would say "But you are a sexual pervert laura!" heh.)Besides, maggie and i were talking behind him so I'm sure that looked kind of strange. Heh. Julie's birthday was Saturday, but no, I didn't have anything for her! Nor did I have money or a gift for her! I suck. and I bet she thinks i suck too, hehe. well well well. Umm...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
-My brother is at college now. But only 45 minutes away anyway. He came home this weekend, and I love him for it. I also realized what a little wussy I am for complaining about him when so many other people's siblings are off in much worse situations. SO, I apologize.
Thursday, August 23, 2001 [9:47] p.m. Oh, just to let you know...I really need a new layout. One ought to come soon now, y'hear? Okay, anyway: I had an awesome time today. I think some of my friends considered it just mediocre, but I absolutely adore days like this. Most of it, though, was me. All me. Here's what I mean: Today was registration for Branham and all, and me being a "new" transfer student though conected by friends got to have my first real "my school" experience. (that sentence had completely horrid grammar) Prior to this date, I still felt that I was an attendee of Del Mar, but no, today was perfect for me. I got a ride to registration with Maggie and Mandy, and when we first stepped out of the car, I was indeed intimidated. It felt no different than if I was going to one of their school dances; like I was a guest. And I mean, all my friends obviously knew a bunch of other people and stuff, so I did feel really out of place. Plus, I caught a comment Jenny made that was something like, "I hate feeling like I have to entertain someone. Like I'm doing this wrong; I should be helping them out! But no, that would be so stupid! I should do what I want" I don't really know if she was talking about me; I didn't take it like "ooh she's doesnt like me-wah" But I could definately sense that I wasn't part of the whole school's bank of stundents yet. But of course, how could I expect to be? Though I did regret it...just because I felt guilty that I made people feel the need to baby me. I may act immature, but you know, it's acting, get over it. So once I went through the registration...well I took a bad picture by the way, though Jenny and Maggie say it was "cute" I don't know if I trust their judgement. (hehe) But I remember little exerpts of seeing people who I haven't seen in a while, or who I don't know and things like that. Like Dean and dan and some kid came up at the beginning and dean was all "so laura, i guess it's official" and I felt like he had sort of left me in the gutter or something, like "of course its official i've told you about 5 times in the past 6 monthes. do you get amnesia often?" Now He strikes me as a guy who loves his popularity, cant get enough of it, and just talks to anyone with flesh to make "acquantinces" so he asks you a vague question until he knows something about you, then asks you the same "personal" question every time he sees you for the next year...but as you give him the same answer you always do...he's not listening, he's off in dreamland thinking that if he had a dollar for each person who adored him he could buy that dream car he's always wanted. Okay so anyway...as far as classes go, I'm pretty excited about them this year. I have classes with poeple who I dont normally over-associate with; and I'd love to get to know them better. Plus, it seems on each day I have a "take a break class" (i.e. PE & Spanish 3) which is pleasant. And my locker is nice...enough. Woop. But the real fun came after. Some of us went to an ice cream shop for a while, then the park, then to Maggie's house and the car show. That part was quite good. I have'nt had that much fun in one day (wait- i cant remember) since the warped tour i would say. But that was a concert, so it almost doesnt count since it wasn't a "friends" thing; it was more of a "music" thing, duh. But really, I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I felt like I was coming back. Like my spirit had vanished for my dormant year at Del Mar... like "The Return of Laura and Her Spirit" "How Laura Got Her Groove Back" I dont know. Everyone else may hate if the old me might return to the annoying shrieking person I was before; but I dont think it will go that far. I am older now; I have more sophisticated tastes when I want to. Besides, if other people dont like it I wont care because frankly, none of them can know what I endured in the hellhole of del mar; none of them can know how I hated it and seriously cried during the first month becuase I was such a loner in every class...So seriously, I feel wonderful. I'm alive and kicking now.
Tuesday, August 14, 2001 [4:44] p.m. Whoa, I feel sick today. I went to sleep at about 3 this morning, because I was busy fixing some stuff online... But then, I kept waking up about once every hour with a sick, flu-like feeling in my stomach. But it was a hard feeling. I mean, I felt as though I had swallowed a rock, which then exploded in my stomach cause lots of turbulence and air bubbles that hurt my insides. Ick, I sat up watching television until about noon, when I finally felt well enough to take a shower. The plus side to that was that it made me feel fresh, plus my sleeping sweat was eliminated, too. ;) Well, it's atrange because I went to sleep for awhile with my horrible rocky solid tummy, but when I woke up it was gone. From that point on, I've had a swelling headache. Ugh. So I checked my e-mail, and was pleased to find good quality messages in my inbox. That just made my day. But now, I'm a bit upset because I haven't eaten anything all day, and I'm beginning to feel the effects it has on me, but I feel to sickly to eat anything. Not only that, but today would've been a good day to see my friends, but 1)I don't feel too well, and 2)If I do, my mom will for sure force me into working tomorrow. Which brings up work... Well, the summer's almost over, so there's not too much more of this, but last week I missed since I was on vacation, and I have to put in 16 hours minimum this week, which I'm afraid won't get done in my...weakened state. And I'm supposed to be spending the remaining summertime with my friends whom I haven't seen in a while, but I can't because I have to spend the same time working as having fun and I just don't feel like working.
Subday, August 12, 2001 [9:34] a.m. I'm once again in a list making mode. so here you go:
Advantages to being chubby:
You get a wide spectrum of clothes to wear in some cases
You can fit in guys clothes without looking like a rapper in many cases
It's less likely someone will want to get to know you just to get you in bed
If there's a wild moshpit then you have more padding, as well as more leverage to not get pushed and/or pulled up and/or down
Disadvantages to being chubby:
There's a lot of clothes (i'm speaking of girls') that is made for the super skinny, and if you try to buy it sometimes people look at you funny...
Some chubby people are comfortable in everything, buy clothes too small for them and let their fat bulge out for the world to see
People like those mentioned previously give us chubbies a bad rep.
If you're attracted to someone, you really can't help but wonder if they return the feeling.
It can easily mess with self-confidence, and makes a lot of people insecure, thus causing them to eat more.
People sometimes say bad stuff behind your back, like, "God! Look at her belt! Could it be any tighter!"
Some belts are made in super small sizes, but you dont know it until after you buy it, and you dont want to return it because you'd look like a dork, maybe.
You sometimes feel that people automatically think you will eat what they don't want or something. Like you're their trash compactor.
All your friends talk of how they're chubbier than you and to "shut up, you aren't" but really they're just hoping you'll return the favor, but you won't because you're honest and you know they're chubby, too.
You may be able to use you're weight to help you in wrestling...but it doesn't do any magic while running back and forth on the soccer field.
What I bought today:
A Purple shirt of the powerpuff girls
a purple shirt with that lucky chinese cat with stars that reads, "Lucky star!"
A set of 3 belts, navy, lavender, and rainbow stripe with a silver buckle that has a nave cirlce with a unicorn on it
311- "From Chaos"
Gorillaz- "Gorillaz"
A maroon track jacket with hot pink piping that looks pretty sharp!
Things I thought a lot about today:
Dickies. I'm leaning towards buying maroon ones to match the track jacket, and plus since the ones form last c'mas never came, i might as well. Or black with the cell pocket... but forest green would be awesome to match the shoes! Oh but really i want to get the white ones and dye them purple and aqua with rit-dye. mmm, mmm good!
I feel bad after time passes and I look back on hacking into someone's e-mail.
I get pissed off when I took time to hack into someone's email only to find they delete EVERYTHING.
I'm such a hypocrite. I contradict myself way too much, eh?
Friday, August 3, 2001 [8:42] a.m. Ooh, you know what? A lot has happened in the last 14 hours or so. There's a super fantastic show on the 30th at the gaslighter which seems like one of those dream shows. Like the "all star" team or something. A Burning Water will be there, as well as The Revolution Smile (Gotta remember to give that back!) AND Tenfold AND Vent. The first three are all fine and dandy, but I do believe I'll have plenty more chances to see them. But, Vent...WELL! Thery're from Van Nuys and stuff, I mean, I've only fantasized about seeing them, but they're coming here. Here, of all places. I have to admit I'm a bit suprised. But only a bit. Oh...since Maggie will probably read this, I have the 30th and the (far inadvance) 11th (nov) cleared out and Ok'ed. OKay? hee. I feel so giddy. I have stuff to look forward to for the way back from vacation. That's something new. Usually it's just: Get home; Call friends; Friends aren't home; Watch TV; Go online; Find friend; try to get together; only the 2 of you are available so you just hang out and chitter. And of course, Maggie just *had* to buy dickies in maroon and green. Fine, take my color!! I had them (sort of) first! They just got lost in the mail! And green? Well, GREEN IS MINE BECAUSE IT MATCHES MY SHOES!!! hee. Kidd;kidd. I'm gonna have to go find them carpenter pants now. I saw some online that were the exact length, but the waist was big enough to hold an anorexic cat. C'mon, I'm not that fat. It's just that no one can make clothes right. they're all retarded. Oh well, I still rely on my one and only Target. See, not only can you get everything you need for housholds and pets, but they also have cheap toddler clothes that I cut up and use for fabric scraps in my crafts and stuff. How I love it...
Thursday, August 2, 2001 [2:42] p.m. I hadn't taken the time to look at the tour dates for Incubus until today. And let me tell you all, I am quite happy. They've got a pretty big tour going on considering this is a lot more dates than some of the others. The one I'm interested in is November 19 at the Warfield. Tickets aren't on sale yet, but on the websites, the only criteria for this venue says "No Infants". OKay, that's easy. But I'm wondering if cameras are okay. I'll have to ask Maggie or Jessie or Jenny about that one. Ahh, but I'm hoping to get general admission tickets to be as close as possible. Ahh, I really want to call Maggie to talk about it but I lost her phone number (wah!) in LA. Actually, I'm suprised at how excited I am about this. I mean, the concerts I've gone to, well... none of them have been bands I like as much, but this...this is big for me. I think I'm beginning to understand Maggie and her precious Deftones and their concerts. I wonder if when people read this they'll be suprised. I think that everyone believes that I don't *really* like Incubus, I just pretend to because I'm trying to be cool or something. Not that me going will prove anything, but it's just a thought.
Wednesday, August 1, 2001 [11:14] p.m. Yup, I *have* gone Maggie on you. Small font. Crosshairs. (Though technically I used those first, so...) But yes. I've opted for simple and unoriginal. This is a goddamn journal. Why does a journal need "sprucing up"? It's not about the html, it's about the content. Right? Maybe...
Or actually, I could just be making excuses because this is bland and unoriginal (a template in fact!)and there's none of my personal pizazz. Plus it now sucks and is ugly but I don't want to change it. So deal with it. I will. And I am the one who owns it. grr.
Wednesday, August 1, 2001 [5:22] p.m. Today is a day I will s e p a r a t e things, okay?
1) I would like to express my new liking of Alicia Keys. I don't own her Cd or anything, but I'm quite keen on her. Since I'm lazy, here's a list of reasons I respect and like her:
1)She writes a lot of her own music
2)The music she doesn't write is classics
3)She performs classical music (i love classical!) like Bach, Vivaldi, and Pachelbel
4)All she does is play piano and sing. How raw and honest is that?
5)She doesn't dress slutty
6)As much as I could be complaining like some about her being to mainstream since she's popular, I commend her on widening her audience to listen to some classical music. She's culture. She really is. It's just great. As I said before, I describe her with two words: Raw; Honest.
I know I am being completely pig-headed when I say that it does indeed bother me somewhat that now everyone's into the internet. I mean, it's not like I invented it. I deserve no credit. It's just that I feel like I do. One day everyone woke up and said, "Hey! I'd like to make a website with photos of my friend's to shove down everyone's throat! That way I look cultured and cool and people will respect me!" I feel like a vetren almost; having gone through countless websites, servers, hosts, and layouts that other people only today discover. I mean, there's this girl I know who I met at the beginning of the school year who says, "Ugh, people who do stuff online are just too un-interesting to have real lives and real friends! I mean, this guy IMed me and was like, "oh, here's my web page!" and I was like - DORK!-" She seriosly said all that. I am not paraphrasing I promise. By the end of the year, she was handing out little stickers with her url on them so that everyone could slap them into her yearbook and remember to check out her "super-cool" website. I didn't take a sticker. I refused to encourage her fickle behavior. (I know I should've said something, but hey, the end of the year has better stuff to do) Now it seems that every single person has a brand spanking new livejournal, because that's just *All the Rage* and a website displaying ameuter "soft-core" pornography of their friends. I'm serious. Have you ever counted how many websites are like that? "...Here's my friend and I displaying our boobs at the carnival" Which then traces to "...I mean I have this weird online guy stalking me; saying he loves my body and wants to meet me! OMG! What do I do? How did he find out about me? I don't understand!" << That would be an excerpt from the one and only livejournal. Woop, woop. How can you show pictures of your naked body (or in some cases clothes) and wonder why some random people want to track you down and rub you up? Ugh, some people are just dense. I may be dense, and I know it. I may be hypocritical, and I know that too. But I will not stand and watch this idiocy. I have webpages to work on. So don't come complaining to me about it.
OH, By the way, Yes, I do have websites which house photos of my friends and I. No, I do NOT have websites which house whores.
One more thing. I'm vacationing From this Friday to next Friday, though I may still be able to write. Not sure yet.
Sunday, July 29, 2001 [11:36] p.m. Thumper's not doing so good. The medicine wasn't helping her in the least, and to go it to her, we had to force her through trauma 3 times a day. She was withdrawling and wanting to go hide all the time. Cats try to hide in conspicous places if they feel sick or if they think they will die. I read that in some animal book, and now I know exactly what they're talking about. It's so sad how much weight Thumper has lost. In fact, she's so skinny that when she jumps off of something-even something as short as the bed- she practically flips over! It's horrible watching her go through this. So, in short, we stopped giving her the medicine, stopped giving her the liver treatment food. We decided that sice there was no improvement we should just let her do what she wants; eat whatever she wants. You know, enjoy life to the fullest while she still can. (Even though she won't eat no matter *what* we feed her)Well, okay. New subject. I changed my room around. It isn't so cluttered anymore and makes for a brighter room. Just what I need, eh? Well, I'm happy about that. I'll post pictures after I'm done reorganizing, but that could take me weeks. Last night I went to Jessie's house to hang out for a bit while she showed me some photos she took at camp and stuff. It's feels really good to talk to her after so long. She was in an artistic mood, so we ended up taking pictures with her camera. She's got a new Canon EOS, which is interesting because I've never tried one of those before. Not that it was bad, but I'll stick to my little Pentax SLR. It was sorta funny, too, since we were walking around outside in the dark (barefoot too, mind you) and we were trying to sneak up on Matt and his neighboor friend who were skateboarding on the corner. It wasn't so we could watch them or anything, but Jessie said she loved photographing skateboarders, so off we went. So we ended up lying in the driveway chatting away, and even though we didn't do anything solidly productive, it was great talking to her. Not that it did, but I felt that maybe the camp had changed her in some way; left her more positivity and insight. You never know...
Wednesday, July 25, 2001 [2:23] p.m. Sorry guys, I've been on a break from the computer, so I haven't written in a while. But if you want to know the boring details of my life...let me just say I have gone shopping, and filled that inner child who wanted happiness from materail possessions. I might do an interview about soda brands and websites for Nichole's Research tomorrow, which is great, because those topics are right up my alley. Besides, I could use soem extra money. (heh, that's more money than I would make at my usual job if I worked 7 hours) Hehe. Nifty. Also, I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and for some odd reason I looked nice. I mean, nice nice. Like if I was wearing a fancy dress I could attend a bar mitzvah at some snazzy hotel. My hair was all wavyish curlyish, and my skin wasn't sweaty how it sometimes is and hey, I looked nice. I know, what a dumb thing, but I thought it was cool. On Tuesday, I saw the dentist, no cavities, but I have to floss my teeth really well now. Apparently, I have the beginnings of periodontal (sp?) disease. Okay then. Since I ordered some clothes online, there's sending me 3 monthes worth of 3 different magazines. I found out that 2 of them are Rolling Stone and Cosmo Girl, which would be all fine and dandy but there's nothing interesting in these issues...Well, okay, there's an article about Alien Ant Farm that I read to broaden my horizons, and then I read this Nelly furtado interview to see if she mentioned anything about Incubus. (Which, by the way, I heard "Drive" 3 times on Mix 106.5 at work today. I love Incubus, but Ugh, hearing that song too much is driving me nuts!) After reading about Nelly Furtado, I suppose I have a new found respect for her. Noth that she went through sufferring, but I don't know she doen't seem as bad as everyone says she is, but that's just my opinion. Welp, that's all for now.
Thursday, July 19, 2001 [6:58] p.m. It just fully set in about 5 minutes ago that Maggie is gone for good. I was about to call her when I picked up the phone and realized that she's about 8 hours (in a car travelling 60 mph) away, not that I couldn't call her there. ;D But still, she's gone for good. Which is completely an overstatement, because she is returning in two weeks which technically is not that hard to swallow. But being that she hardly leaves her homestead in campbell, it seems that she has left on more than a trip; more like an exposition. Not that I won't have fun while she's gone, but it always seems that everyone else is busy doing stuff or sleeping while she is almost always available and willing to talk. But well, I do have other things to think about, and ever since her oh-so-horrid concert experience (the deftones *didn't* show) I've felt like I owed her. And of course, last night I tried to spend time with her and encourage her to go see some bands she really wanted to but that didn't quite tumble over without a mess either. And now she's gone. What to do; what to do. Oh, wait- I know...Let the letter writing begin!
Tuesday, July 17, 2001 [8:32 p.m.]Actually. Now I'm sad. Right now I could be at Shoreline watching a really awesome band play and exposing myself to their greatness, but no. I have to stay home and do chores. And be all mad and sad and angry while I *could* be somewhere else having a wicked cool time with a/some really awesome friend(s). As much as I admit that I didn't want to go because I probably would have thrown up all over the place, I also admit that I said that trying to convince *myself* it wasn't worth it because my cousin had to go and die and my grandparents had to get hurt and now my parents are requiring me to stay home all day. I'm not angry at all actually. I'm just sad. Sad that I can't go to the concert. Sad that I ditched Maggie and almost made her relive the experience of missing out on seeing one of her favorite bands. Sad that no matter what I say, everyone is going to think I'm a chicken and I can't stand serious concert environment. I had a chance to prove myself and look what happens. On the other hand...screw it...I don't need to prove myself because what's the point? I have no one to impress. But I feel like there is someone to impress, and I think... I think that person is actually myself. Sounds dumb, but I think I'm just beating myself up for this, and I'm the only one who can counter-attack. And I am quite knowledgable of this; that's why I don't tell people my problems anymore. Well I do, just not big ones. But anyway, forget it. Forget concerts and shows, forget them all. I seems that I'm *always* forbidded to go, so I make up some thing that sounds like, a) I'm too busy, or b) I don't want to go anyway. Because I guess in my screwy head, that sounds better than "My mom won't let me." Or wait. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe, it's that I *don't* want to go, secretly, in my head, even if I don't know it, and I *want* my parents to say no. I know that's what everyone else thinks, but oh well. See how scatterbrained I am?
Tuesday, July 17, 2001 [8:07 p.m.]Ahh, I'm having a much better day I must say. Though I had a lot of stuff to do for my parents, my bed-ridden grantparents, and my dead cousin, (yes I'm being quite blunt)I had an uplifting day. Despite all the crap that flying around, I think I had a breakthrough today. I was just sitting there washing the windowsill, when *bam!* it hit me. What hit me, you ask? Well, truth be told, I don't know. But I started thinking about how I miss my friends and how I need to spend time with them, etcetera, etcetera. I guess it brought my spirits up. Even though it's about the most retarded thing to be cleaning a windowsill, something good came out of it, which was a highlight of my day. Correction: THE highlight of my day. But it looks as if things are uphill from here. At least to Sunday, since that's when my dad goes out of town to Dallas for some work convention. He's been leaving a lot less lately, but it still makes me upset everytime he leaves. Why's his company so big-shot that they have to send their employees to various states across the country just for some work meetings? I mean seriously! Then they go on to fire a whole load of people every month because they "don't have enough money to pay them." Hmm, well gee, I wonder if they stopped sending people 2,000 miles away and having them stay in 5 star hotels for a week if they'd have enough money to pay them. I know that there's stuff companys do have to do in meetings for people across the country. I seriously *do* understand, but I'm just pointing this out because it makes me sad to see my dad leave. So, excpect another dull Laura on Sunday. Not that I'm completely happy now, in fact, thinking about stuff has got me depressed again... Grr, sometimes I wish my head would just take a time-out!
|
