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[most recent entries]
Thursday, August 23, 2001 [9:47] p.m. Oh, just to let you know...I really need a new layout. One ought to come soon now, y'hear? Okay, anyway: I had an awesome time today. I think some of my friends considered it just mediocre, but I absolutely adore days like this. Most of it, though, was me. All me. Here's what I mean: Today was registration for Branham and all, and me being a "new" transfer student though conected by friends got to have my first real "my school" experience. (that sentence had completely horrid grammar) Prior to this date, I still felt that I was an attendee of Del Mar, but no, today was perfect for me. I got a ride to registration with Maggie and Mandy, and when we first stepped out of the car, I was indeed intimidated. It felt no different than if I was going to one of their school dances; like I was a guest. And I mean, all my friends obviously knew a bunch of other people and stuff, so I did feel really out of place. Plus, I caught a comment Jenny made that was something like, "I hate feeling like I have to entertain someone. Like I'm doing this wrong; I should be helping them out! But no, that would be so stupid! I should do what I want" I don't really know if she was talking about me; I didn't take it like "ooh she's doesnt like me-wah" But I could definately sense that I wasn't part of the whole school's bank of stundents yet. But of course, how could I expect to be? Though I did regret it...just because I felt guilty that I made people feel the need to baby me. I may act immature, but you know, it's acting, get over it. So once I went through the registration...well I took a bad picture by the way, though Jenny and Maggie say it was "cute" I don't know if I trust their judgement. (hehe) But I remember little exerpts of seeing people who I haven't seen in a while, or who I don't know and things like that. Like Dean and dan and some kid came up at the beginning and dean was all "so laura, i guess it's official" and I felt like he had sort of left me in the gutter or something, like "of course its official i've told you about 5 times in the past 6 monthes. do you get amnesia often?" Now He strikes me as a guy who loves his popularity, cant get enough of it, and just talks to anyone with flesh to make "acquantinces" so he asks you a vague question until he knows something about you, then asks you the same "personal" question every time he sees you for the next year...but as you give him the same answer you always do...he's not listening, he's off in dreamland thinking that if he had a dollar for each person who adored him he could buy that dream car he's always wanted. Okay so anyway...as far as classes go, I'm pretty excited about them this year. I have classes with poeple who I dont normally over-associate with; and I'd love to get to know them better. Plus, it seems on each day I have a "take a break class" (i.e. PE & Spanish 3) which is pleasant. And my locker is nice...enough. Woop. But the real fun came after. Some of us went to an ice cream shop for a while, then the park, then to Maggie's house and the car show. That part was quite good. I have'nt had that much fun in one day (wait- i cant remember) since the warped tour i would say. But that was a concert, so it almost doesnt count since it wasn't a "friends" thing; it was more of a "music" thing, duh. But really, I dont know if anyone else noticed it, but I felt like I was coming back. Like my spirit had vanished for my dormant year at Del Mar... like "The Return of Laura and Her Spirit" "How Laura Got Her Groove Back" I dont know. Everyone else may hate if the old me might return to the annoying shrieking person I was before; but I dont think it will go that far. I am older now; I have more sophisticated tastes when I want to. Besides, if other people dont like it I wont care because frankly, none of them can know what I endured in the hellhole of del mar; none of them can know how I hated it and seriously cried during the first month becuase I was such a loner in every class...So seriously, I feel wonderful. I'm alive and kicking now.
Tuesday, August 14, 2001 [4:44] p.m. Whoa, I feel sick today. I went to sleep at about 3 this morning, because I was busy fixing some stuff online... But then, I kept waking up about once every hour with a sick, flu-like feeling in my stomach. But it was a hard feeling. I mean, I felt as though I had swallowed a rock, which then exploded in my stomach cause lots of turbulence and air bubbles that hurt my insides. Ick, I sat up watching television until about noon, when I finally felt well enough to take a shower. The plus side to that was that it made me feel fresh, plus my sleeping sweat was eliminated, too. ;) Well, it's atrange because I went to sleep for awhile with my horrible rocky solid tummy, but when I woke up it was gone. From that point on, I've had a swelling headache. Ugh. So I checked my e-mail, and was pleased to find good quality messages in my inbox. That just made my day. But now, I'm a bit upset because I haven't eaten anything all day, and I'm beginning to feel the effects it has on me, but I feel to sickly to eat anything. Not only that, but today would've been a good day to see my friends, but 1)I don't feel too well, and 2)If I do, my mom will for sure force me into working tomorrow. Which brings up work... Well, the summer's almost over, so there's not too much more of this, but last week I missed since I was on vacation, and I have to put in 16 hours minimum this week, which I'm afraid won't get done in my...weakened state. And I'm supposed to be spending the remaining summertime with my friends whom I haven't seen in a while, but I can't because I have to spend the same time working as having fun and I just don't feel like working.
Subday, August 12, 2001 [9:34] a.m. I'm once again in a list making mode. so here you go:
Advantages to being chubby:
You get a wide spectrum of clothes to wear in some cases
You can fit in guys clothes without looking like a rapper in many cases
It's less likely someone will want to get to know you just to get you in bed
If there's a wild moshpit then you have more padding, as well as more leverage to not get pushed and/or pulled up and/or down
Disadvantages to being chubby:
There's a lot of clothes (i'm speaking of girls') that is made for the super skinny, and if you try to buy it sometimes people look at you funny...
Some chubby people are comfortable in everything, buy clothes too small for them and let their fat bulge out for the world to see
People like those mentioned previously give us chubbies a bad rep.
If you're attracted to someone, you really can't help but wonder if they return the feeling.
It can easily mess with self-confidence, and makes a lot of people insecure, thus causing them to eat more.
People sometimes say bad stuff behind your back, like, "God! Look at her belt! Could it be any tighter!"
Some belts are made in super small sizes, but you dont know it until after you buy it, and you dont want to return it because you'd look like a dork, maybe.
You sometimes feel that people automatically think you will eat what they don't want or something. Like you're their trash compactor.
All your friends talk of how they're chubbier than you and to "shut up, you aren't" but really they're just hoping you'll return the favor, but you won't because you're honest and you know they're chubby, too.
You may be able to use you're weight to help you in wrestling...but it doesn't do any magic while running back and forth on the soccer field.
What I bought today:
A Purple shirt of the powerpuff girls
a purple shirt with that lucky chinese cat with stars that reads, "Lucky star!"
A set of 3 belts, navy, lavender, and rainbow stripe with a silver buckle that has a nave cirlce with a unicorn on it
311- "From Chaos"
Gorillaz- "Gorillaz"
A maroon track jacket with hot pink piping that looks pretty sharp!
Things I thought a lot about today:
Dickies. I'm leaning towards buying maroon ones to match the track jacket, and plus since the ones form last c'mas never came, i might as well. Or black with the cell pocket... but forest green would be awesome to match the shoes! Oh but really i want to get the white ones and dye them purple and aqua with rit-dye. mmm, mmm good!
I feel bad after time passes and I look back on hacking into someone's e-mail.
I get pissed off when I took time to hack into someone's email only to find they delete EVERYTHING.
I'm such a hypocrite. I contradict myself way too much, eh?
Friday, August 3, 2001 [8:42] a.m. Ooh, you know what? A lot has happened in the last 14 hours or so. There's a super fantastic show on the 30th at the gaslighter which seems like one of those dream shows. Like the "all star" team or something. A Burning Water will be there, as well as The Revolution Smile (Gotta remember to give that back!) AND Tenfold AND Vent. The first three are all fine and dandy, but I do believe I'll have plenty more chances to see them. But, Vent...WELL! Thery're from Van Nuys and stuff, I mean, I've only fantasized about seeing them, but they're coming here. Here, of all places. I have to admit I'm a bit suprised. But only a bit. Oh...since Maggie will probably read this, I have the 30th and the (far inadvance) 11th (nov) cleared out and Ok'ed. OKay? hee. I feel so giddy. I have stuff to look forward to for the way back from vacation. That's something new. Usually it's just: Get home; Call friends; Friends aren't home; Watch TV; Go online; Find friend; try to get together; only the 2 of you are available so you just hang out and chitter. And of course, Maggie just *had* to buy dickies in maroon and green. Fine, take my color!! I had them (sort of) first! They just got lost in the mail! And green? Well, GREEN IS MINE BECAUSE IT MATCHES MY SHOES!!! hee. Kidd;kidd. I'm gonna have to go find them carpenter pants now. I saw some online that were the exact length, but the waist was big enough to hold an anorexic cat. C'mon, I'm not that fat. It's just that no one can make clothes right. they're all retarded. Oh well, I still rely on my one and only Target. See, not only can you get everything you need for housholds and pets, but they also have cheap toddler clothes that I cut up and use for fabric scraps in my crafts and stuff. How I love it...
Thursday, August 2, 2001 [2:42] p.m. I hadn't taken the time to look at the tour dates for Incubus until today. And let me tell you all, I am quite happy. They've got a pretty big tour going on considering this is a lot more dates than some of the others. The one I'm interested in is November 19 at the Warfield. Tickets aren't on sale yet, but on the websites, the only criteria for this venue says "No Infants". OKay, that's easy. But I'm wondering if cameras are okay. I'll have to ask Maggie or Jessie or Jenny about that one. Ahh, but I'm hoping to get general admission tickets to be as close as possible. Ahh, I really want to call Maggie to talk about it but I lost her phone number (wah!) in LA. Actually, I'm suprised at how excited I am about this. I mean, the concerts I've gone to, well... none of them have been bands I like as much, but this...this is big for me. I think I'm beginning to understand Maggie and her precious Deftones and their concerts. I wonder if when people read this they'll be suprised. I think that everyone believes that I don't *really* like Incubus, I just pretend to because I'm trying to be cool or something. Not that me going will prove anything, but it's just a thought.
Wednesday, August 1, 2001 [11:14] p.m. Yup, I *have* gone Maggie on you. Small font. Crosshairs. (Though technically I used those first, so...) But yes. I've opted for simple and unoriginal. This is a goddamn journal. Why does a journal need "sprucing up"? It's not about the html, it's about the content. Right? Maybe...
Or actually, I could just be making excuses because this is bland and unoriginal (a template in fact!)and there's none of my personal pizazz. Plus it now sucks and is ugly but I don't want to change it. So deal with it. I will. And I am the one who owns it. grr.
Wednesday, August 1, 2001 [5:22] p.m. Today is a day I will s e p a r a t e things, okay?
1) I would like to express my new liking of Alicia Keys. I don't own her Cd or anything, but I'm quite keen on her. Since I'm lazy, here's a list of reasons I respect and like her:
1)She writes a lot of her own music
2)The music she doesn't write is classics
3)She performs classical music (i love classical!) like Bach, Vivaldi, and Pachelbel
4)All she does is play piano and sing. How raw and honest is that?
5)She doesn't dress slutty
6)As much as I could be complaining like some about her being to mainstream since she's popular, I commend her on widening her audience to listen to some classical music. She's culture. She really is. It's just great. As I said before, I describe her with two words: Raw; Honest.
I know I am being completely pig-headed when I say that it does indeed bother me somewhat that now everyone's into the internet. I mean, it's not like I invented it. I deserve no credit. It's just that I feel like I do. One day everyone woke up and said, "Hey! I'd like to make a website with photos of my friend's to shove down everyone's throat! That way I look cultured and cool and people will respect me!" I feel like a vetren almost; having gone through countless websites, servers, hosts, and layouts that other people only today discover. I mean, there's this girl I know who I met at the beginning of the school year who says, "Ugh, people who do stuff online are just too un-interesting to have real lives and real friends! I mean, this guy IMed me and was like, "oh, here's my web page!" and I was like - DORK!-" She seriosly said all that. I am not paraphrasing I promise. By the end of the year, she was handing out little stickers with her url on them so that everyone could slap them into her yearbook and remember to check out her "super-cool" website. I didn't take a sticker. I refused to encourage her fickle behavior. (I know I should've said something, but hey, the end of the year has better stuff to do) Now it seems that every single person has a brand spanking new livejournal, because that's just *All the Rage* and a website displaying ameuter "soft-core" pornography of their friends. I'm serious. Have you ever counted how many websites are like that? "...Here's my friend and I displaying our boobs at the carnival" Which then traces to "...I mean I have this weird online guy stalking me; saying he loves my body and wants to meet me! OMG! What do I do? How did he find out about me? I don't understand!" << That would be an excerpt from the one and only livejournal. Woop, woop. How can you show pictures of your naked body (or in some cases clothes) and wonder why some random people want to track you down and rub you up? Ugh, some people are just dense. I may be dense, and I know it. I may be hypocritical, and I know that too. But I will not stand and watch this idiocy. I have webpages to work on. So don't come complaining to me about it.
OH, By the way, Yes, I do have websites which house photos of my friends and I. No, I do NOT have websites which house whores.
One more thing. I'm vacationing From this Friday to next Friday, though I may still be able to write. Not sure yet.
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