email me why not? check out the archive: summer '00 & earlier sept & oct '00 nov & dec '00 reading: a walk in the woods by bill bryson listening to: wilco's summer teeth daily check Angela betsy bookme Catherine Chris erasing GirlBoy jejune leanne ljc Lonestar MediaNugget metafilter rule4080 UnknownNews usr/bin/girl wisdom more good stuff ad critic affirmatron bond girl names dream decoder emode freewill the hunger site jersey radio rocks jibjab martina & ross mr. orbit pulpphantom sagesse shootingfishinabarrel trib horoscopes

what have i got to say today? Tuesday, February 27, 2001 11:15 am have you ever had the experience of meeting someone and knowing instantly that your life was going to change? For the better, for the worse - it's really all for the better in my mind because, really, any impact is good. Anyone who can reach into my insulated little world, put their finger on my forehead, and send me spinning - however they do it - is amazing. Because with everyone else it's just waves. It's like I'm floating in the ocean and sometimes people swim by, kind of try to reach at me or I move to reach out to them, and the water moves and things go up and down, and then we float apart, not really ever connecting. But that person who can grab onto me, and pull me up or pull me down with them, join me as the waves are crashing around, under, or over us, that person, wow. Where ever we go, you bring me up just because you're there, too, and I'm not alone for the ride. So few people have really ever done this for me. but you all know who you are, I think. And that's part of why you hit me so hard. ah, but look at me, getting all serious and emotional this morning. It's okay; I do it all with a sleepy smile. hey, look, slate offers up an interesting take on the gulf war and how it was a moment in time that led us astray as a nation. I know you're desperate for it: the new dave matthews album, "everyday". I don't really get how they're the "most successful bar band on the planet," as CDNow says, but hey, we all need some kind of title, right? Maybe my band will be the "most successful dentist waiting room band on the planet." No, I suppose that title's probably already taken by sting or richard marx or someone. Vanilla ice makes a comeback? Say it ain't so. Please. I really thought the "behind the music" saga was over for him. also from CDNow, my new favorite site, an update on axl rose's stalker (last item). How pathetic must you be to be stalking axl rose in the year 2001, when the man hasn't even been in the public eye since, like, '95 or something. And at the age of 39, no less. So sad. and, as for the poll, okay, ha ha. get over yourself. Clearly there was no malice or intent to date involved. Some people just take themselves so damn seriously. Monday, February 26, 2001 7:10 pm grrr. too busy and migraine-y today to get anything up. going to see jeff tweedy of wilco fame tonight, so here are two (unfortunately, old) interviews with him should you so need entertainment: a march '99 salon interview and an undated wall of sound interview. that's really all i can manage today. sorry. oh, but one question: why the hell is the pop quiz i featured a couple months back about ironminds writers suddenly getting a million hits? do tell. i'm so intrigued. (good to see that NO ONE ELSE has voted. losers. you're looking at it. you could at least friggin vote!) Friday, February 23, 2001 11:15 am following up on the discussion I had with two different people yesterday concerning just which awards show is the worst, an interesting article from slate about why the grammy's are so damn bad. wanna know where I'm gonna be this weekend? In my nabe. But specifically, I want to check out the african-inspired black history month celebration in the brooklyn botanic garden, this bar called blah blah which is right on my block and sounds so damn cozy, and maybe either the elvis flick, "3,000 miles to graceland," or this other one called "southern comfort" which is about a transsexual who, as a man, ends up with cervical and uterine cancer. Intriguing, maybe. blah blah blah. (that would be bush's first news conference.) I love that the reporter was sure to highlight the blunders, including referring to "bomb damage assessment" as "bomb assessment damage" and calling "cocoa leaves" "coca leaves." Heh heh. Ah, how we mock our "leader." chris rock is brilliant as a stand-up comedian. But, as both ker and slate insist, his new movie sucks. I don't think I'll even give it a chance to disappoint me. Thursday, February 22, 2001 5:45 pm hmmm…moby freaks out about eminem backstage at the grammy's. He kind of makes some assumptions here (especially since, if you were paying attention when eminem gave his acceptance speech last night, you'd have noticed that he profusely thanked both his agent and manager, the names of both of which are like saul rosenfeld or david rosenthau, or something similarly semitic) but I do appreciate this comment: "I was talking to somebody earlier about the notion of Eminem being in the continuum of Elvis Presley, the Sex Pistols, Public Enemy, and Kurt Cobain. But the difference is that they were all rebellious in the sense that they were extending boundaries - creating culture that broadened people's perspectives. The problem with Eminem is he's creating culture that appeals to the lowest common denominator." While I have been known to defend eminem's right to say the things he says, I would agree that he's appealing to some pretty lowly denominators. But, I don't believe that he's creating that culture, just giving it musical shape. And while moby's right that he's not doing anything to broaden his target audience's perspective, I think he has to some degree broadened the perspective of Americans as a whole, in that there are a lot of PC people out that who would like to think that these voices don't exist. But they do. And they probably always will. There's a lot of anger in america's youth, there's a lot of resentment, and thus there's a lot of danger. If you as any kind of minority or looked-down-upon majority think that you're completely safe, you're wrong. And aren't we so thankful to eminem for reminding us all of that? I kind of am. But yes, it's a very, very perverse appreciation. 2:45 pm yay! Elaine makes a comeback! thinking about a trip to indonesia maybe? Read this article first which begins with the intriguing sentence, "Indonesian President Abdurrahman Wahid dismissed fears of an explosion of unrest as he flew out of the crisis-racked country Thursday, but bloodshed escalated into beheadings even before be boarded his plane." Oh. And on the relationship between the infamous headhunters of borneo and the unrest there now, we have this fabulous quote: "They are merely killing,'' he said. ``They have long swords. So, their target is the neck. If they have knives, they will stab. If they have guns, they will shoot the heart. What is happening in Sampit now is a mass movement... people who are very angry to the extent of willing to kill.'' hmmm. yep, I'd still go. But I'm just a daredevil like that. while I know that the song "American Woman," originally performed by The Guess Who and recently reincarnated by Lenny Kravitz, is really an anti-American, anti-war statement, listening to it makes me just want to be that bad-ass woman he seems to be begging to stay away from him. And, of course, now we have the image of heather graham scantily clad rolling around on top of a car, which isn't too shabby of a thing to want to be either. Yeah, she's just hot. whoa: what's up with cdnow? The site says they're "temporarily closed." Uh, I just ordered 2 cds from them yesterday. They'd better still come, damn it! Wednesday, February 21, 2001 5:10 pm Ugh: warner brothers hosts an event dubbed as a "madonna convention." Sure, her career is worthy of praise, but a convention? Like a business convention? Or a trekkie convention? I mean, this is really stooping to the very, very lowest of lows. I can't imagine that she would okay such a thing. After all, she's not even going to be there. How pathetic. Appropriately, since tonight is the grammy awards, this news bit also mentions that mrs. Ritchie wrote a letter published in the L.A. times over the weekend in defense of eminem, which you can find here. It's pretty weak, really. but stevie wonder's is pretty good. 3:30 pm okay, so some people didn't like the movie magnolia. but i did. and while it's easy to get caught up in the overinflation of some of the characters and the acting and some of the bizarreness of the situations, it's good to read up about it and learn that it all goes so much deeper than that. you can't just take it at face value, of course. and thanks to a conversation i had with catherine and holly at lunch at the incomparable island burgers & shakes, i found kempa's magnolia trivia page and learned so much more about what's really going on in the movie. which, i think, is so key if you're really going to bash it, too. and i was glad that there was at one point a scene in which the boy -- the prophet -- threw jim's gun up in the sky, because, as the movie stands, it really doesn't make sense that it would come back down to him in the rain. it really just doesn't. and the frogs make a whole lot more sense now, too. kind of. 12:00 pm on funny pictures: this image - both the one on the side of the article and the one in my head - of fat men at a bath house disturbs me. what is the deal here? I can think of few things I would like less than to sit in a 180 degree room in only a towel surrounded by old, hairy, fat men. Really. and talking business here? Come on, people. Even golf is less offensive to me and I have very strongly negative feelings about that sport's association with business dealings. This is just repulsive. And way too testosterone-y. also, I love this woman's job as an adventure photographer, would do anything to have the talent and know-how involved in it, but, man, for a photographer, this is the stupidest choice for a picture to have of yourself in the new york times. What was she thinking? Maybe, though, they didn't give her final approval. Maybe they didn't actually like her much and were trying to make fun of her via this shot. I mean it just screams, "hey, hot stuff!" That, actually, would be amusing. And rather clever. Tuesday, February 20, 2001 3:35 pm oh my god. this is so cute: make your own little miss or mr. character. it's amazing how easy a tool it is for making cartoon-y characters out of your friends. does that make sense? what i'm saying is, there is the perfect combo of characteristics for all my friends. (maybe that still doesn't make sense.) i enjoyed it quite thoroughly. good thing i'm working today people. [via jejune] 3:10 pm yay: the one and only dan follows through and emails me from his trip to asia. ah, so envious am i. i really, really need to take a trip very soon or i just may do something drastic. (though i'm still trying to decide just what that would be.... see? my creative reserves are completely drained. there's nothing left here. need escape. and all this after a 4-day weekend....) i'm sitting in an internet cafe in chiang mai. trip has been amazing so far. tokoyo was insane. huge. expensive as hell. very modern and confusing but also very cool. dave's friend speaks fluent japanese so that made a big difference. we had a lot of fun and partied one night until 8:30 am. literally. hit on japanese girls with some limited success and tried to lose our severe jet-lag (14 hour flight from nyc and a 14 time change). we also took a day-trip to this city about an hour south and saw lots of temples. it was really intersting. two days ago we flew from tokoyo (where it was snowing) to bangcok and then up to chiang mai. it is about 70-75 here and amazing. it looks like something out of a movie about vietnam. motorbikes everywhere. no traffic lights. little food stands. absurdly cheap...we are sleeping for 3 dollars a night, though i was bitten by unknown bugs our first night so that gives you an idea of the type of place. the scenery is beautiful. we took a full day trek out to the northern hills yesterday. rode on elephants up in the hills and then hiked to this humong village. a tribal people originally from laos. i've never been in such a setting before. they had running water but not much else -- living in huts with tea leaves for roofs. rice fields everywhere and animals. tried to sell us stuff and dave and i bought necklaces that we are wearing. then we had a big lunch by the side of the road and then hiked some more to another village and then took a bamboo raft down the river. absolutely amazing experience. today, we went up to alex's school in the hills. very beautiful. i'm am going to get a massage for an hour and a half in forty minutes that will cost 4 dollars. there are also cafes and bars everywhere where every entree is less than a dollar and beer is about .80. life is good. this place is filled with backpackers. mostly austrialia and some europe. very very few americans. which is nice. so far home feels as far away as it is. and i'm completely relaxed. hope that you are great, Dan PSA of the day: despite many past comments to the contrary, i am declaring that i now like buttered popcorn flavored jelly belly jelly beans. (i know, nan, i've switched teams. sorry 'bout that. but you can still eat my licorice- and cinnamon-flavored ones. they're still disgusting.) the thing is, they don't taste salty, really, and buttery candy is awesome (think caramels). the background popcorn flavor is rather bizarre but i highly appreciate it. whoah: man killed in central park shooting. okay, all you people who hang out there after dark, again, you're all crazy. this place is never all happy and safe, no matter how good the city crime stats are. have you read the times' stories on harlem? like about its revival and it's underlying problems. so good. go do it. Thursday, February 15, 2001 5:45 pm i love that god kind of answered brooklyn kid's wishes for j.lo. love that. what if i just told people to start calling me l.leav? actually, now that i think about it, ker and marco already call me leav. just gotta get them to attach the l. or what if i was l.g.leav? is that more rhythmic? el-jee-leev. i kind of like it. or i could be l.l. cool g, but maybe the whole "cool g" thing comes off as either a) too gangsta or b) too materialistic. although it is kind of fun, huh? 5:10 pm ha! interactive panty liners. be afraid, be very afraid. Wednesday, February 14, 2001 5:30 pm and what more perfect news could we have on this blue valentine's day? puffy and j.lo break up. awww. i know you're all sad. 4:45 pm it's true, i do bruise easily. and, also true, though it sounds so awful, when i'm too happy for too long, things are bound to fall apart. and that's when i find myself crying for the stupidest reasons. but then i feel better. much, much better. why am i telling you this? well, true to my wishes, it's a blue valentine's day. and it looks blue out. new york is pathetically gloomy and grey and dreary today. it's almost too perfect for valentine's day. and new yorkers are playing all the right parts. i was just on the subway and saw all these women with armfuls of roses wrapped in white paper from the corner delis, that their guys clearly got for them just moments before seeing them, because they thought they had to. and they're smiling: yay! he remembered! he cares! and the guys are standing there behind them, with big grins, looking all proud, like they've accomplished some great thing, they've made their women happy for 5 minutes. damn, they're gonna get some tonight. and that was all it took. why don't i do this everyday? they wonder. and then they're like, but that's expensive, yo. fuck that. besides, she's happy enough. ugh. you people, you're killing me. killing me. so that's what you get from me today. that and the knowledge that i sent the sappiest, sweetest, gushiest email to one of my dearest friends, just because he deserves it. and i'm happy for him. and he's a good guy and i'm glad to know him. so, no, i'm not all nails and thorns today, kids. just partly. but yeah, if you want hearts and rainbows, don't look at me. Tuesday, February 13, 2001 5:50 pm on gripes: catherine offers up a poor picture of myself (no, i'm not going to directly link to it -- didn't i just say it was pretty poor? find it yourself) in her party photo gallery. are those my tonsils? Yes, I think so… whatever. i'll get over it. on praises: chicklit makes me very happy with its very cool list of grammatical misuses, several of which I definitely commit on a daily basis, probably here. so fun. [total thanks to jejune] 3:35 pm on valentine's day: seriously, what I really want is to go to a bar, have a few beers, eat a couple of hershey's kisses, talk about the civil rights movement or something else equally un-consumerish, and generally play the whole thing down. But I will also go out to dinner if someone else wants to. And I won't be disappointed or annoyed in any way. But, just, the former is what I would choose to do. 3:30 pm on denial: I wonder if she's more shocked that he's indirectly conceding that he's gay or that their sham marriage could ever come to an end. on fame: I bet anna kournikova is psyched that a computer virus was named after her. I was simply psyched that it shut down my office most of yesterday. Ah, the chaos. also, I find it interesting that they don't mention in this times article about women athletes and their business and career opportunities today that anna kournikova has incredible sponsorship and endorsement deals even though she's not even among the best in women's tennis. Hmmm…wonder why. Maybe because she's cute and white? Nah, couldn't be. additionally, why the NBA is so not as good to watch as the WNBA. Clearly. on youth: When I was in, I think, 4th grade, and the cold war was in full swing and talk about nuclear war was running rampant and chernobyl went down, a friend and I said that we wanted to run to the farthest corner of the earth to avoid the coming nuclear holocaust. We threw out a random bizarre-sounding country's name: afghanistan. Clearly we didn't know our world geography all that well. Or the fact that it was part of the soviet union at the time. or the fact that shit like people freezing to death en masse could happen in such a place. Or that the taliban could oppress its female citizens so thoroughly, shrouding them in burqas that leave them suffocating and sweating and never allow them to see the sun or their children or their families or their feet. So, yeah, today I'm thankful I never moved to afghanistan. Monday, February 12, 2001 5:50 pm (why am I talking about zimbabwe so friggin much lately? It's really annoying isn't it? it's like it just happened. Let me explain one thing: even if it took place 3 ½ years ago, that experience is more vivid in my mind than stuff that happened to me last week. And when people get me talking about it or when related stuff comes up in the news, it becomes an even bigger part of my daily consciousness. It's messed up, yes, but try to think of it as several months of such intense experiences that you will never be able to forget them. It's like, months of being laid-off or meeting the man of your dreams or your dad moving out of your house or your first day on the job or something as thrilling - good or bad - every single day. ) anyway, this article about how, for african women, big is beautiful reminds me of a conversation I had while in zim. At the time I was living in bulawayo and, well, I'd been dealing with a lot of things, but namely, fitting in too much - essentially, I was feeling like a locked-up, oppressed woman who couldn't go out at night but had to stay home and cook and entertain people while my guy friends went to concerts and smoked up with rastafarians in back alleys and got babied by their families and generally had a grand time. Moreover, I'd been trying to run in the mornings and had found this ragged soccer field about a half mile away that I could do laps around. But doing so brought on so many comments and stares and onlookers who would just outright yell "mukiwa!" (white person) at me that it became a rather stressful activity. (something that always reminded me of that comment by the first female marathoner, roberta gibb, about how she'd be running and then have to stop to pretend she was picking flowers or just walking whenever cars passed.) On this day I was with my "mama" visiting some of her friends. We were cooking. I was cutting up a butternut squash with the biggest, dullest knife you can imagine. We were discussing weight and the one woman who lived there was complaining that, no matter what she did, she couldn't gain weight. She said, "I can eat anything I want." i nodded. She said, "You're like that too, no?" I said, "yeah, pretty much." My mama laughed. I looked at her and said, "what?" she responded, "you've gained a lot of weight since you got here, that's for sure!" and I said, "really?" and she said, "mmm hmmm, lots!" despite my understanding that african women embrace weight, my awareness of how ridiculous and wrong american women's body image issues are, and all the research I had done and counseling sessions I had led for female athletes about body image, I stood there in that kitchen feeling crushed, near tears. All I could think was, how the hell am I going to lose it by the time I leave? of course, my mama meant it as a compliment, but she also knew that I wouldn't take it as such, and kind of enjoyed that, unfortunately. she was mocking the western world's obsession with fitness and trying to make me feel bad through it, too. (she and I had a very odd relationship, but one which I think is like many zim girls' with their mothers, so i guess that's a good thing?) the fact is, I wasn't able to lose it before I left zimbabwe, and when I returned home I was 15 pounds heavier than when I'd left, which is really a lot when you take into account that i'd weighed the same thing for about 8 years. and it wasn't really a big deal as i somehow was able to lose it all in about a month without even really thinking about it. really, it was just about eating patterns and my metabolism not being used to the foods I was eating and the massive amounts of inactivity I was undertaking. But if you ask my friends what I looked like when I came home that december, they'll tell you: "She looked like a scared little chubby kid." It's true. I was traumatized. And chubby. so I went to V-day and the vagina monologues on Saturday. I actually had to work the entire day of events since lifetime is a major sponsor and we wanted to get some interviews with celebs and activists. (I got to interview the activists, which I think was actually the bigger and better gig of the day since these were real women from all over the world actually doing stuff to combat rape and domestic violence in their communities, as opposed to celebrities who just felt they had to come to this thing since they were invited and if they didn't it'd be bad PR. But of course my company will be total celebrity sluts and just plaster their faces, and not those of the amazing activists, all over everything. But then who's surprised by that?) but the vagina monologues performance was really good because they got some very talented people, like jane fonda, glenn close, brooke shields, marisa tomei, rosie perez, calista flockhart, oprah, carol kane, and julie kavner to read the parts. I think my favorite moments of the performance were when a) glenn close said "I call it cunt" and b) teri hatcher yelled "Pussies unite!". It was just one of those nights, folks. after the v-day event, I got some give-aways, which included info about heroine magazine, which I had never heard of but looks somewhat interesting, if cheesy, and the new joan osbourne cd, righteous love. now, this cd is not something I would ever buy on my own, simply because I just haven't been aware of any of joan osbourne's activities since she released that song, "one of us." (you know, "what if god were one of us?") but I must admit that it's rather good. The first song has a fun moany-like intro and then a funky beat that just makes me want to like it. but, being that she performed at the vagina monologues, she's ten times better live than she is on her cd. She just has so much more energy and range live than she does recorded - not unlike a lot of performers - which is great and terrible, too. I would like to be able to recommend the ronald reagan memory game, since I mentioned him so fondly the other day, but being that I can't see it and I can't play it, I don't know what the deal is there but if you're able to see and play it, email me, okay? [via ironminds weblog] Hmm…find out your alien abduction factor. What? I don't know but I'm a 7. [via jejune] Friday, February 9, 2001 4:20 pm can you believe the times actually has an editorial about zimbabwe? shocking. And it's actually not far off from what I wrote yesterday. Good stuff. On the africa note, chris pointed me to angela's page which pointed me to time's photo essay of africans with AIDS. It's amazing and so, so depressing. But you should check it out anyway. And definitely linger to read the copy for each image. A friend of mine, the fabulous julie, worked with sister francis at the mashambanzou hospice in harare, and, not that I had to tell you but, she's an incredible person. Can you imagine seeing this suffering up close every single day? I cannot. she gets my nomination for sainthood. Everyone go take the passion predictor test at emode. I'm a "snugglebunny," which is just the most sickening name ever, but, yes, it's accurate. I'm a sap, it's true. And all you "cuddlers" and "romantic poets" with whom I apparently match up best, you know you love it. Thank you, slate, for finally explaining to all the reagan-lovers why his presidency was not that great. I really can't stand it when people say that he was the best president ever and sight all these things that he supposedly did for the country. Michael kinsley addresses them all and provides me with a very nice argument for the next time I hear praise of reagan, which is great because, though i meant to, I never really did the research to find out what he did and didn't do. But as soon as I read some article about the reagan-obsessed, who formed fan clubs for him and lived their lives based on his words of wisdom and pledged their allegiance to the republican party and split-level ranch houses, then I knew there was something very wrong with liking him. The Dave matthews band has tour dates. They're playing giants stadium june 11th and I'm wondering what I'm going to do about this. The fact is, I've never actually seen the whole band together in concert - though I did see dave with tim reynolds when they played amherst - even though I do have a tremendous appreciation for their music. I actually considered them my favorite band for quite a while there. Unfortunately, I came to associate them with a certain evil person and so, though i still loved their music, i felt the need to distance myself from it somewhat. Plus, they're just so college, ya know? My mom says that every time she hears a dmb song she thinks of the move-in and move-out days of my college years. Which is funny because when I think about walking across campus on a sunny spring day, I always hear dave blasting out of the windows of a freshman dorm room. Which is really quite a refreshing memory, I must say. also from cdnow: have you seen the moby video for the very new york "south side" featuring gwen stefani? So good. And now he's re-releasing "play" with that track added. Very cool. Not that I'm gonna buy the whole album again for one song, though. Come on, mobes. last night I went to the album listening party for groove collective's latest "it's all in your mind". While I can highly recommend this album as well as their live music, I really don't think I'll end up having this kind of listening experience if and when I do get the CD. Just read the piece, it's funny and, okay, a little erotic. [via wisdom] Oj simpson is amazing clueless. I mean, look at this picture of him. His lawyer is giving a statement about him posting bail for a road rage incident (what's up with him and cars, man? or, maybe the better question is what's up with him and violence? But whatever.) and he's grinning like a freak in the background. Hello? I was intending not to write too much today because a) I'm busy, b) I'm exhausted, and c) someone made a comment about the length of yesterday's pita, but oh well. Thursday, February 8, 2001 12:55 pm I'm not sure what it is, but for some reason talk of africa is in the air. Who was I talking to about it the other night? Who have I been talking to about it like everyday for the past month? it's slipping my mind right now…. Anyway, appropriately, in the times, it's a friggin african news bonanza, folks (which, you know, means all of three articles): First of all, this article about a woman's literary tour of jo-burg, makes me want to go there right now (yes, despite the incredibly high crime rate). And yay for the 'cry, the beloved country' reference, by the way. Such a great book. But I'm actually going to recommend the book on tape (but $49.95? harsh - go to the library), which is something I really never do, but you should do it for this one book because the narrator's voice is so perfect. She's south african and you really feel like you get what they're saying and the characters are so much more believable for it. Then, there's also a piece about african hopes for colin powell's attention, despite the fact that bush would have the gall to be so outwardly racist as to say that, "While Africa may be important, it doesn't fit into the national strategic interests, as far as I can see them." (but this comment, you have to realize, is coming from a man who doesn't have a clue what the "national strategic interests" are anyway, and he had actually just learned to piece these three words together right before he gave this statement.) but yes, it is all about color, I'll admit it. and this is just unacceptable. I do hope that colin (it's "call-in," people; who in their right mind would name their child colin and call him colon? No one.) powell does get involved with african issues and actually focuses the bush regime's attention on the continent for just one split second in the next four years. It's atrocious how ignored africa is by the western world. but then there's my whole debate about whether they're better off without our bullshit involvement anyway.... Then there's some crazy news from Rachel Swarns (applause, please) in Harare about all the chaos in zimbabwe as the government cracks down on those speaking out against them as elections near: the offices of the country's only remaining daily independent paper were bombed, the chief justice of the supreme court was threatened with death and forced to resign, protesting journalists were prevented from staging a peaceful march, and two government opposition leaders were arrested. Swarns reports, "'We are under siege,' said Basildon Peta, the secretary general of the Zimbabwe Union of Journalists, in a telephone interview today from Zimbabwe's capital, Harare. 'If people can just bomb printing machines, you don't know what's going to happen to you next,' said Mr. Peta, who is also an editor of The Financial Gazette, the country's leading business newspaper. 'The future looks very bleak,' he said." Wow. Fight the power and go read independent zim news here and here. Today's sports piece about the older generation of female athletes "holding the torch" for the younger generation is, well, really weak. It just comes off as token because there's nothing in it of substance. I mean, who doesn't know that the girls of today are granddaughters of title IX and that title IX helped girls' sports? and, okay, sorry but I can't help but read that the final Norway-U.S. olympic soccer game was the best women's soccer game ever played, girls used to have to play against boys to get real competition, and girls' sports were never treated equal to boys' as little condescending cheers for women's sports. Because the fact is, when most men read these things, they're still thinking - or even saying - sure, but compare that olympic game to the men's final and it's nothing; and of course boys are stronger and faster than girls; and of course girls' sports shouldn't be treated the same as boys', because they're just not as good. and ya know what i say? Bullshit. You try playing your ass off in a game, elbowing your opponents in the stomach, fighting on the ground for the ball, yelling in the refs' faces, and then walking off the court, putting on your dress, your heels, your makeup, and trying to "play like a girl" in all other parts of your life, to be nice and sweet and not too pushy - don't want to be called a bitch, now - and you tell me how incredibly easy it is to stay rough and tough in the game when you aren't allowed to be off the court. You tell me. And that's just one reason why the WNBA should be given just as much - if not more - credit than the NBA. What are those guys really going up against? What obstacles have they overcome that the women have not, and then some? Sure, they may be amazingly talented and fast, but so are these women, and they, I promise you, have had to work ten times as hard just to get where they're at. And look, I didn't even mention the word "justice" once....after all, that's really not the point anyway. i would never say that. moving on, I wonder, if everyone who felt like they were being treated as "second fiddle" (a phrase I can't help but love) went to the white house and waved a gun around, would bush give up his job? Let's all try that, yes? I find it extremely disturbing that china still has "work camps." That cannot be good. (more falun gong members die in government custody.) and that silly slate wants to boot "the simpson's" off TV. I don't know about that. I still think it provides some excellent insight into our culture, but if there's any reason it should go, it's simply because it doesn't get the attention it deserves. I mean, all this reality tv garbage has taken over our cultural subconscious. Now we're accepting things at face value and getting caught up in springer-like antics and accepting them as human behavior. Simply because they're real people, we're falling for it all, getting even more sucked in, and writing off our own poor behavior as normal. what we need to do is have a "reality-based" cartoon show.... Then maybe everyone would step back and realize how funny and stupid it all is. oh, laugh a little, people. Wednesday, February 7, 2001 12:45 pm breaking news: ooo ooo! shots fired outside the white house! i bet dubya's sweating now.... but seriously, i'm trying to imagine what would happen if the pres was assassinated. could things get more chaotic than they were during the election? i'm willing to say that that's pretty doubtful. as a matter of fact, i know a number of people who'd be quite happy if it happened. but the thing is this: then we'd be left with chee-nee and while the man clearly knows world politics better than dubya (after all, who doesn't?), i don't know that he's much better as far as his stance on the important issues goes. hmmm....some food for thought. 11:50 am so for that amherst student searching for proof that the cartoon scooby-doo was actually based on the pioneer valley's five colleges, i can attest that the legend is true. (this message board also supports it.) here's the deal: fred, the snotty, preppy, smart, strapping guy went to amherst. of course. that stereotype still holds. daphne, the cute, flirtatious red-head, went to mount holyoke--not smith--which may be a surprise to amherst students these days because smith clearly has a better rep as far as the quality of the looks of its students go. but, alas, back in the day, as old-timers will tell you, mt. holyoke was really the best place to go for nice girls. (in line with that, remember the saying, "smith girls to bed, mt. holyoke girls to wed, and amherst girls to talk to.") velma, then, went to smith, and though it's debatable how bed-able she was, smith was formerly known as a school for nerdy-types. then shaggy went to hampshire, the only school whose most favorite public past-time is smoking pot. then, as the legend tells it, scooby was the embodiment of the cartoon's creator who actually went to umass. and of course, additionally, there are the theories that shaggy and scooby were really just getting high in the back of the van (thus all the smoke when the stop and exit), that scooby snacks are just drugs and they make scooby hallucinate, that fred and daphne were getting it on the whole time and that's why they'd disappear alone together, etc., etc. ah, doesn't it all make you feel so united within the five colleges? how drug use and cartoons bring the world together. Monday, February 5, 2001 7:30 pm I find the fact that someone exists whose name is "linnea levine" very scary. Why, you ask? Well, if you know me at all, you'll understand. For the rest of you, it's because the guy I dated for 3 ½ years whom my parents were (uh, still are) really, really rooting for me to marry had the last name of levine. You now get my point. Not that I ever plan to take someone else's name - EVER - but you know what I'm saying, right? The name linnea levine is just about the worst image of a me I could ever imagine: married to a guy I ended up hating and feeling utterly disgusted by, who made me feel stupid and incompetent at every turn, whose parents hated me because he told them all the sordid details of every (yes, all 10 or so) break-up we ever had, who was immature and clingy and desperate for security, who was in complete denial about what was really going on in the relationship and his family and the world, who really just needed someone to baby him and be a second mother to him, who couldn't deal with my own needs for independence and fun and life and travel and learning, and whose name I would have stooped to attach onto my own - something I have sworn my entire life never, ever to do. Woo. Yeah, some shit going on there. while we're on the topic of past relationships, I've had this revelation: I've never really felt comfortable airing all my opinions and interests in front of guys I've dated. Basically, they get a very watered down version of me. why, you ask? I think I was just socialized early on to do this because I was always much more expressive and analytical than the guys I'd dated and so I'd hold back what all I was thinking about for my times with my friends or in class or whatever because I'd get such weirded out reactions from them. The funny thing is that even when I'd express any opinions or ideas, I'd still get criticized for them, despite the fact that it was only a fraction of what was really going on in my mind. As a result of all this, I'm now realizing that I kind of have this stunted form of communication. It takes some time for me to actually get involved in a real and analytical discussion with someone I'm involved with. Actually, there are only a handful of people with whom I feel completely comfortable expressing my opinions. And as the time since college grows, I feel even less comfortable, mostly because I'm not forced to really think about things and develop opinions on things. Which probably sounds bizarre to those of you who read this site often because I'm clearly very outspoken about things. But it's all in quick sound bites, ya know? And for that reason I'm going to work on really presenting analytical viewpoints here and not just short, insipid links. Maybe that'll make my site boring, but I think it won't. and besides, being that I only got 5 hits today, how much smaller can my readership get. (but really, what's up with that number? My average is 32 hits. Where the hell is everyone? I mean, holly and nate leave town and suddenly no one's looking? Terrible.) another thing I really want to do is get my bookme page really going. Ker and I were just discussing today how we want to start writing book reports because it sucks to breeze through something and never really give it a second thought. So, check out bookme for my latest reviews, okay? Maybe I'll even get back into the ap english groove and start writing some super analytical essays about the imagery in margaret atwood books. Wouldn't you love that? Eh, whatever. It'll be fun. Email me if you're interested in contributing, s'il vous plait. Friday, February 2, 2001 4:00 pm and now, just because i want to and i'm jealous that he's so fucking cool and off galavanting around europe while i'm holed up in my office in nyc and because he can't stop me, i'm going to post a friend's email, which, as a matter of fact, is one of the most stellar emails i think i have ever received. thanks, omar. (sidenote: dan, i expect a similar run-down from you from asia, whereever you end up. or else.) 'Sweat on my skin, oh.' ... it all comes crashing back. that song in my semi-delirious state has swept through me with a rush of traveling-for-a-month-ready-to-get-home feelings. syria was amazing, as expected, but i was really sweating it out at the borders. picture arriving in damascus at 4 in the morning, the only person in the 'non-arab' immigration line and having some greasy, hairy, smoky arab screaming at you that there is no way you are actually not an arab. anyway, i just played stupid, pretending not to understand what was going on and made it through that one. then on the way out yesterday or two days ago, whenever it was, i find out that my plane is delayed two hours, so i sit there waiting that moment of truth in a cold sweat, that sweet moment when i find out whether or not i will spend the next two years of my life heaving rocks across the border with israel. i make it through the passport check only to be stopped at the boarding gate. they put some army guys there who basically just harass passengers as they get on the plane, searching them and going through the stuff and shit like that. so they search me and go through my wallet and find that i have a 'lot' of syrian money in my wallet. turns out there's some esoteric law against exporting more than a hundred dollars of syrian currency. so once again i find myself at four in the morning with a greasy arab yelling at me in arabic and me having to play dumb instead of stepping up and screaming in his face 'your mothers pussy! how the hell was i supposed to know about that.' finally, he decides that i'm too dumb to be harrassed too much and lets me on the plane. (here picture omar dragging onto the plane looking like john travolta looked as he says he has to go have a heart attack when leaving mia wallace after she almost dies of an od.) anyway, back to my semi-delirious state. i last slept in syria two nights ago. got up at nine in the morning. spent the day doing the usual ... couple of visits, ridiculous meals (the food there is amazing), some shopping in the souqs. go to the airport at 1 in the morning, catch a flight to prague at 4, get to prague at 8, catch a plane to paris at 10, arrive in paris at 12, go into the city to check email to see if my friends from london sent me anything, find that there is indeed an inivitation waiting. go back to gare du nord, catch a chunnel train at 3, get to london around six and am now killing time waiting for my friends to get off work. as you can imagine, there wasn't all that much sleep involved in all that. so i'll have to write more when i'm more coherent. love to all. o how hot is that? 1:50 pm p.s. i'm listening to alice 104.5 out of phillie and i was just thinking, damn, i'm tired. then, the boss came on with "dancing in the dark". how perfect: I ain't nothing but tired Man I'm just tired and bored with myself Hey there baby, I could use just a little help You can't start a fire You can't start a fire without a spark This gun's for hire even if we're just dancing in the dark 1:30 pm the true irony of my last posting is that saying that all this is so melodramatic is in itself very melodramatic. Alas, at least somebody got what I was trying to say. I'm not surprised that he got it, because he always gets it. well, except that one night when we stayed up arguing about abortion til like 3 am. But otherwise…. this program sounds awesome. It's called publicolor and people volunteer to go paint murals and things in different public schools in nyc. It's kind of like productive graffiti. Sounds great. I think I'm going to volunteer. I had some seriously disturbed dreams last night. First of all, someone asked me if he could shave my legs. But we got distracted and he didn't do it. Then I had a dream that I was working in the government and having an affair with al gore. He came in and came right up to me and kissed me even. His hair was very different though, gray and swirly. Then, bill clinton came in and I was so focused on his hair, which had a weave in it and had been done by an african-american woman (he kept saying, "the sisters did it!" and I kept thinking "whose sisters?"), that I didn't realize at first that he had a dress and green stockings on! How bizarre. Bill clinton, cross-dresser. Al gore, infidel. Who knew? Only my subconscious! But then this all begs the question, what's up with linnea's obsession with hair these days? I mean, first the other night's dream of the beard and fro, then last night with the hairy legs and the former prez and vice-prez's bizarre dos. Maybe these words of swoon's apply: *To comb or arrange the hair of anyone of the opposite sex indicates a happy outcome to your current sex problems. *As a general guide, to dream that you are shaving or being shaved is a warning of financial pitfalls ahead. or maybe not since admitting any relevance would mean that I have both sexual and financial issues. And I don't. really. God, what's swoon anyway? Dumb site….. ah, finally some advice we can all use: tips for fleeing the country now that dubya's in the white house threatening our freedom. Sidenote: I loved lisa on you can't do that on television. Maybe canada is a serious option here. like nannette, thespark thinks I'm a boy in its gender test, too. I'm not really surprised since I have a lot of guy friends, am not very high-maintenance, used to be welcome to look at playboy and other forms of porn with my closest guy friends in college, and have been accused of being "the guy in the relationship" a number of times. Huh. I really don't agree with so many of the bloggie awards. I want a recount! I love the idea of the blue valentine party: "a tradition…that involves spending valentine's day drinking whiskey, playing cards, listening to tom waits, and lamenting being single." I know way too many people who could really get into this. How inspiringly depressing. I love it. Wednesday, January 31, 2001 9:30 pm so I had this dream last night. In it, he had a nice, healthy beard and lots of fro'd out hair. Of course I checked with swoon for an explanation. It looks good: Beard: This is a good omen for men (and for women if the beard was on a man), and the fuller or more luxuriant the beard the better will be your coming luck. But a dream of a beard on a woman is a warning against gambling of any nature. I think chris would really appreciate saturn today so I'm going to link to it here, since maybe now he reads my page again. Also, I'd like to say, "oh, hello." Just cuz. I'm moving tomorrow. How psyched am I? Very. I think I saw a roach in my apartment this morning. I just kind of giggled about it because damn if I haven't warned them. But, whatever. It's all okay. I'm on my way, kids. I'm on my way. Believe me, I'm not really high; I just kind of sound it, huh? The thing about the move is that, while I'm psyched to be headed for prospect park and all that brooklyn has to offer (which I believe to be a lot), I'm also going to miss central park. Not that I don't intend to come in on weekends at least and go running there. Maybe the occasional morning visit as well. But prospect park is going to be my new home turf. And this morning I went on a final home turf run in central park, and god was it amazing. I mean, first of all, the weather was perfect: 48 degrees and the sun peaking through. Everyone was out and there were dogs running everywhere. I stopped at 1.5 miles to stretch some and just got so happy for the little families I was seeing. Maybe I'm just weird but being in parks just makes me want to settle. It makes me want to have my little family unit and my dog and my home and just be so content with myself, I guess because so many people in the park seem just that way. Today I'm having problems with living in the now. Holding onto the present and really embracing it for what it is and how exciting it is. Not looking forward and thinking, hurry up. but then I think of that line from the dave eggers book that says, basically, the pages X through Y concern themselves with the lives of people in their early- to mid-twenties that only people in their early- to mid-twenties would find at all interesting. Everyone else should skip these pages. And sometimes I know that about my life and get this striking sense that, god, this is all so melodramatic. This is all so played out. But then at other times, I am actually able to stop and look around and think things such as, fuck, I have amazing, amazing friends. And for christ's sake, I am so damn lucky. And holy hell, this will never be this way again. And wow, enjoy this. Earn this. Make your life worth its weight. And I try not to get depressed by such sentiments. It's amazing how realizing both the seriousness and the complete ridiculousness of your own life can make everything feel so lucky or so friggin doomed. Do you get it? I hope so. Tuesday, January 30, 2001 8:00 pm ha! How funny is this? I'm checking my sitemeter stats and browsing through the various search terms and see one for "rachel swarns." I think, huh? So I go to the google search for her name to see what's up with that and when the hell I mentioned her. As I'm sifting through I find all these articles reported from africa for the times. I mean, jo-burg, harare, botswana, everywhere. So I'm like, damn, that's cool. But I'm thinking, well, I probably just linked to some story and said it was written by her. I keep sifting, sifting. I start thinking, damn, how cool would it be to be her? I want her job! then I finally find the link to my page and what was it that I said about her? Verbatim: "But how much would I give to be rachel swarns reporting from harare? A lot." Well, at least I'm consistent in my thoughts, eh? Even if I do forget them all too often. But seriously, if you're rachel swarns, please email me and tell me how I can get a reporting gig like yours. That would be a dream come true for me. not unlike a job here (everyone cross your fingers for me about that one, k?). speaking of africa, good to know that american justice is so inconsistent when it comes to issues overseas, as in the bombing of the american embassy in kenya. I mean, let's go over this basic principle again, guys: when is coerced testimony okay? Never. Right. Repeat. [via unknown news] how in the world can any democrat on the judiciary committee justify voting to allow john ashcroft to become our attorney general? How how how???? Russ feingold, you're a big fucking disgrace. "olive branch" my ass. You're letting this country down by siding with the loser republicans and I plan to blame the fall of the golden age of american society on you personally. and edward "forget about the filibuster" kennedy and all the rest of you democrats who refused to speak up too loudly, let me just state for the record that you have disappointed me deeply. Bullshit, man. you call yourselves politicians? Puh-shaw. again, bush scares me. does anyone else realize that this is a gross disobedience of the constitutional separation of church and state? Anyone? Anyone? So disturbing. Armies of friggin compassion my heathen ass. God, with all this anger in me, it's gonna be a long, long four years. speaking of psychotic armies, this article about the Army of God, "whose members proudly celebrate their commitment to violence in defense of the unborn," is disturbing. Go read it. be afraid, be very afraid. These, my friends, are the people who voted for bush. oh, seinfeld's dad's nemesis dies. bummer. Cheers to a good man gone. how 'bout that astronaut pen? 11:00 am man oh man, does scott give a hearty, impressive, and entertaining analysis of his superbowl watching experience. i really do not feel up to delivering my own now, two days later. so just go enjoy his. i'm psyched for good, cheap food this restaurant week. four of us from work are going here. yum yum. more later.... Friday, January 26, 2001 6:30 pm have you heard this story? 12-year-old kills girl with pro-wrestling moves. crazy stuff, but if you read the article you'll see it gets even more awful. apparently, the kid, lionel, wanted to kill the girl, tiffany, because he had a crush on her mother....Ms. Eunick-Paul testified that when she told Lionel that her daughter was dead, he shrugged and rolled his eyes. The next day, he asked Ms. Eunick-Paul if he could live with her and have Tiffany's toys, she testified. ugh, how horrendous. who are these people? on a lighter note, this is kind of fun: 6 degrees of separation of web sites [via weblog wannabe]. Today it reports: Japanese threaten American freedom Be forewarned: In six clicks any American man woman or child can get from Japanese Pokemon to American Mac and Cheese to Deadly Cigarettes and Beer. hehe. ugh. Yet another "rate me" site, so respectfully titled bangable. [via andy] This schtick is old now. It was funny when it was semi-innocent and curious, but now it's just a joke with some really dumb ass cartoons and hand puppets being in the top 10. oh, whatever. joel achenbach is bizarro. I love him. Maybe he's single. I should look into that. Alternately, maybe he can just get me my own column so I can babble about random things like he does. Yes, I think that may be the better purpose for tracking him down. these past two weeks have been packed with changes, something my own reading of the tarot cards predicted (yes, I taught myself, finally). Two Mondays ago I got the card of death, which, despite its scary sound, is actually very positive, forecasting the end of the old and the beginning of the new. I had a feeling a lot of things were going to go down, but who knew exactly what. Then, this past Saturday, I got the knight of cups/brother of water, which anticipates yet more change and movement, but a questioning of whether a decision I'd made was right. So true. One specific idea this card conveys is thoughts about the long-term nature of someone you are linked to romantically. It asks, essentially, "Are you doubting whether someone you are with can commit to you seriously? Are you thinking that the person you are with may be the one for the long haul?" yes, yes. Damn, I'm getting good at this. Can't wait to see what's in store for me next week when I read my cards this weekend. Hopefully nothing like broken belongings or anything else that foresees problems with the move. this morning I awoke to find no hot water in my apartment for the third time this week. So fun. Yesterday when I showered despite the water's freezing - and I mean glacier-run-off worthy - temperature, I seriously got an ice cream headache. So this morning I opted to go third world style and heat some water on the stove, which I then took into the tub with me and, using a washcloth, bathed and washed my hair with. This is something I have not done since december of 1997 when I was living in zimbabwe and bathing in a friggin reed enclosure. Yep, that's my apartment, up there in third world manhattan. Still, it was kind of fun and I congratulated myself for being so resourceful and easy-going about the whole thing. this bush security gaffe gives me great confidence that the whole election year ending in zero plague will hit our current prez. Have hope, all. so I went running for the first time in a while yesterday - and felt no pain!!!! This, my friends, I am truly happy about. I can't believe I've been injured for two months now. Now maybe I can get serious about running and kick-boxing again. Yay! I'm sad to have to paint the two walls of my room back to white from their beautiful state of orange. Do you remember when I did that? So fun, despite the fact that I couldn't sleep very well for two weeks after, but I got used to it eventually. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a small, shitty room who feels the need to make it happy and theirs. I want to leave you with a quote from aimee mann, just cuz she's so damn cool and I love her lyrics and they always seem to apply to my life at times of change: now that I've met you would you object to never seeing each other again cuz I can't afford to climb aboard you no one's got that much ego to spend so don't work your stuff because I've got troubles enough no don't pick on me when one act of kindness could be deathly …. you're on your honor cuz I'm a goner and ya haven't even begun so do me a favor (oh please) if I should waver be my savior and get out the gun --aimee mann, "deathly," the magnolia soundtrack Thursday, January 25, 2001 6:00 pm so, ben affleck was in my building today. apparently he's filming a movie called "changing lanes" and one scene takes place in a corporate building's lobby. Samuel l. jackson is also in it. in this movie, ben and an unknown co-star are in some building where a fire starts up. The sprinklers must have come on (they were all wet) and then the scene I witnessed went like this: all the people in the building start clearing out. He and his co-star file out the revolving doors while firefighters enter via the same doors. End of scene. They rehearsed this several times while crowds of people looked on from the balcony. The firefighters waved at us and blew us kisses. Clearly they were not real actors or else they would have had some humility or something. Anyway, the deal is this: ben looks taller, broader-shouldered, and cuter in person. No lie. But I have to say that it looks like a terribly repetitive and boring industry, when you get down to the nitty-gritty. Not that my job is all exciting and fun-filled or anything, but, maybe acting's not all it's cracked up to be. Or something. Then again, they do get paid shitloads for all that standing around. this is amusing: go to google and type in "dumb motherfucker." Then hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Ha! somehow I've found myself being semi-productive at work lately so that's why I haven't been linking to news enough. Tomorrow, I promise I will deliver some real breaking stories. I promise. also, I want to give props to the network of connections that is the city of new york. First of all, it got me an apartment. Second of all, it got me a subletter (and my deposit back!). Third of all, it got me great roommates. Fourth of all, it made me realize how quality my friends and random acquaintances are. And all in a matter of a week. Thank you, new york, and everyone who helped me. I also want to congratulate the one and only catherine for her bloggie's nomination in the first annual weblogs of the year awards in the category of best pita-powered weblog. That's cool shit. Now go vote for her or else. Wednesday, January 24, 2001 5:55 pm heh heh. Lookie here: yahoo astrology has great things in mind for me. and I swear I didn't pay them to say this: Powerful financial opportunities are at hand. A perfect partner or mate may appear on the horizon and decide to share your life in a new way. Plan for the perfect environment that will foster love and creativity. If you draw your blueprints in your mind and keep them away from the prying eyes of others, you'll see how dreams are born. Don't put anyone you love on a pedestal, however. moving right along...so, the aimee mann/michael penn show was interesting, let's just say. I had high hopes. I mean, I'd been listening to her stuff for a solid week or more, just getting psyched for the show. On the other hand, I only knew his one song, "romeo in black jeans," [which it turns out is actually titled "no myth"--huh]. Her talents I clearly appreciate, his I just did not know. Anyway, the show opened with a comedian, if you can believe it. pat somebody who cracked my shit up. He busted on bush and his supporters (you know, right up my alley) for quite a while then just got into other bizarre things. Hilarious stuff, really. Then michael came out and played a tune and I was somewhat impressed. I think I even said, "I like him." Then aimee finally joined up and they played another of michael's songs. Okay. Then aimee played a tune from her new album. Then they explained that they had the comedian there because they don't like to do between-songs banter. Okay. So the comedian said some stupid stuff. Then they sang another michael song. And then aimee did a magnolia tune. And then michael did one or two of his. Back and forth like this, with michael playing all this unknown stuff and aimee playing all this well-known, predictable stuff. What I wanted was for her to just do a bunch of songs in a row and open it up to lesser known things instead of playing it so safe and letting him have the spotlight. This started to piss me off. Then michael started to piss me off. I mean, his voice is so sweet and clean and he didn't look that cool in his black mock turtleneck thing and dark jeans, holding his water bottle when he sang back-up and didn't have a guitar in his hands, looking uncomfortable and annoying. I guess I wasn't the only one who was getting peeved because then this guy in the audience shouts out something to the effect of "just shut up and play romeo in black jeans!" and michael freaks his shit and, I think, gives the guy the finger and says something like, "no, goddamn it and this is for you!" we're all like, huh? Weird stuff. Then, the next song michael did was some kind of "subterranean blues" type tune and he messed the words up twice. He was clearly a little shaken. anyway, the show went on that way, back and forth and predictable, for a while. Then they walked off the stage. We all applauded for an encore. They came back. He played. She played a magnolia tune. They walked off. We applauded. They came back. She played. He played. They walked off. People started leaving. Some people kept applauding. Most of the crowd had stood up, thinking they were gone for good when they came back out. They made some stupid jab at the guy who'd yelled. And said that, since they'd appreciated him so much, they were going to play a song for him. They played "romeo in black jeans." Aimee started and sounded good. Michael took over and sounded good. Then aimee finished it up with this weird ethel merman voice. It was odd. I left feeling dissatisfied, somewhat disappointed, rather stirred up and annoyed. Holly liked it though. I'm glad I saw it, but I would have liked a better set and more focus on aimee and less of the back and forth. Anyway, that's my run-down. Sorry to be so negative, but that's how it goes sometimes, folks. Tuesday, January 23, 2001 6:10 pm eek. Falun gong members set themselves aflame. Cults are scary. okay, the whole britney-madonna duet thing is bizarre. Holly has insisted that it wouldn't happen and that madonna had to be kidding when she said she'd be up for it, as she saw the small nyc show a few months back and felt that madonna had actually mocked britney on stage. nevertheless, it's been confirmed. I think it's kind of funny. I mean, is it going to be like the brandy-monica duet? That was kind of cool, with them going back and forth, fighting in a song, just as the media had said they hated each other in real life. Or will it be just a stupid dance song? Or some kind of cheesy ballad? What I think would be most hilarious is if they did a bowie/bing crosby type song, where there's actually talking beforehand about one being an "old-timer" and the other being a "young-un." That would be the ultimate in cheese. And so, so enjoyable. this is ridiculous: brazilian men boast longer penises. what kind of doctor would ever conduct such a study? Not that I'm going to argue with it, as I have no experience with brazilian men whatsoever but, ya know. this is fun: computer-generated romance stories. one that I got ended with: "We marry tonight, you little fool!" he intoned, sweeping her into his arms, and as he slid the little ring onto her finger, she started to think about what they would call their children. ha! 5:55 pm off to see aimee mann and michael penn tonight at town hall. Can't wait! A full report tomorrow, for sure. so, as I'm basically being ousted from my upper west side apartment, I'm about 98% sure I'm going to be moving into this fab share in park slope. Being that it's just a block from my original favorite park in nyc as well as from the goodness of 7th avenue. I think that, if this does really work out, I will join the park slope food co-op, the kind of thing I've wanted to belong to since I lived in amherst. And yay! I'll be so near the library and all this other good stuff, including beer. here, go read about the history of park slope and its cute little magazine and appreciate it all as much as I do. Monday, January 22, 2001 6:30 pm ha! A love story with me as the female lead. Ah, how romantic and sad. (not to spoil it, but I die in the end.) how amusing, though. you gotta love slate's Bush inaugural poem contest, simply for its wonderful mockery of the man who is our current president. Could it really be, though? Could this be our reality? I mean, how evil is he? The inauguration proceedings were so horrific (I refuse to link to the garbage), I actually shed a few tears when clinton gave his goodbye speech. The "we did a lot of good" line really got me. man, that guy should write screenplays or something. He and cameron crowe should collaborate. Ugh, the heart strings! Friday, January 19, 2001 6:40 pm read clinton's farewell here. And go get all teary-eyed when you read this, like I did. Then go laugh at this goddamned picture of dubya being a dork with ricky martin [thanks, catherine] and go read gail collins' pretty amusing prediction of what dubya's first 100 days in office will be like. All I have to say is, what a friggin loser. Will I ever get over this fiasco that has occurred in our political system? Maybe 4 years from now. Maybe. Thursday, January 18, 2001 9:55 pm if you didn't already know, margaret atwood rules. Check this 'graph (from "the blind assassin"): The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise you begin excusing yourself. You must see the writing as emerging like a long scroll of ink from the index finger of your right hand; you must see your left hand erasing it. Impossible, of course. So true. And that's why I'm not going to tell you what this psychic told me the other day on the phone. And no, I didn't pay her anything. It was work-related and she gave me a free reading. Freaky stuff. Okay, maybe I'll tell you after it comes true. But not before then, that's for sure. Too dangerous, people. i highly recommend "the blind assassin," but if you want to know what my fave atwood book is, it's "cat's eye." killer. story of the 4th grade me. well, to some degree. this is fun:find the perfect town for you. I was pretty sure that my results would come up and say "No towns match your criteria" but I was wrong: 29 towns match my criteria. And isn't it so amusing that one of them is boulder, colorado, especially since I was saying I should just up and move there a few months back? Hmmm….well, the reasoning behind it then doesn't exist now, but this could be a new reason. But now I may just hold out for seattle. and now for news africa from linnea's pita: zimbabwe gets involved in the kabila incident, but in typical zim fashion, refuses to say anything of substance. Later we find out that kabila's son will be taking over for him but it's unclear whether or not his dad is alive (even though the congo claims he is). Then we finally learn that kabila is indeed dead and the congo calls for peace. Time for a beating, ashcroft: a) you're definitely evil, b) you're still scary, and c) how about we women do this to you, eh? Sick of subway groping, French women hope to get their own train cars. That's awesome. And you gotta love that they have a 22-year-old leader. the other day i listed some things (to which i've since realized there are a number of other things to add, including the desire to take a trip to seattle and drive down the coast to san fran, but you get the point), that, were someone to have them in common with me, i theoretically might be either weirded out or in love. but right now i'm watching "groundhog day" with the sometimes-fabulous bill murray (this, i believe, is one of his best movies in addition to "ghostbusters" and "scrooged"), and i think that it's quite possible that someone could have either a) known me in a parallel universe, such as on "groundhog day," or b) known me in a past life. yes, i do believe these things could happen. who the hell knows? not you! so don't doubt it, okay? ya never know. Tuesday, January 16, 2001 6:50 pm not that I'm trying to be vague or bizarre or anything, but I just gotta say this: if someone had the following things - some general, some extremely specific - in common with you, would you be weirded out or in love? Zimbabwe, rice pudding, the old 97s, guitars, music, running, afros, hats, basketball, law, politics, liberalism, travel, hatred for dubya, wanting to move to another country because of dubya, aimee mann, close family ties, serious life and death incidents, the matrix, kick-boxing not yoga, fun, the comfort diner, uncle nick's, "mukiwa", good conversation, good friends, good food, good drinks, real feelings. These things are huge. All I can say is wow. Wow. And goddamnit if I know what the hell happened. I'm a bit dazed today, you might say. This made me laugh: modern humorist writes a detective story that includes all of lycos' 50 most searched for terms [via mooselessness]. Ah, a limp dog named bizkit, a detective playing big brother to a girl named britney who spears her cocktail onions, a stoner nicknamed harry potter, what a riveting story it all makes for. But the ending, I believe, is fabulous. wetlog, how you amuse me so. here, too. no, sexy is not the successor to the adjective "cool". Hot is, goshdarnit. Say it with me, please. today, scott contemplates the, for lack of a better word, timelessness of tom waits, which I sincerely appreciate. He also shares his envy of tom: "I wouldn't mind having a name that's also a sentence, and an expressive one at that." Thank you, scott. also sweet: achren's girlboy list on girlboy. hits home, this one. not so sweet: survivor 2 castaway deb, from new hampshire, is engaged to marry her step-son, the son of her deceased hubby! Ugh. [via betsy] well, we know all about those new hampshirites that break rank, vote for bush, and marry their step-children. yep, all about 'em. what? A mom is arrested for buying her 13-year-old son condoms when she found out he was gonna have sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend. what? a good reason to never move to wisconsin. [via ribbit] is anyone else worried about the health of our dogs with the purchase of ralston purina by nestle? Don't they know chocolate is deadly for pups? Sheesh. Bad PR move, guys. grrrrrr. I'm nearly in tears over clinton leaving. Not because he was any great shakes in the spotlight, but damn, the guy can at least speak. And at least he didn't like country music. blech. breaking news: Whoah! Laurent kabila dies in coup attempt in the democratic republic of the congo! Oh, africa. Thursday, January 11, 2001 12:45 pm are you on crack, trent lott? That's what I want to know, because only someone really fucked up would think that there's a "cooperative mood" in washington, well, ever, but particularly now, just after dubya stole the friggin election from our man in glam…our man with spam…our man the ham…big al gore. And hell yeah, it makes me feel so much better that pat robertson, head of the christian coalition, plans to make a speech on john ashcroft's behalf. Oh, in that case, well, of course I support ashcroft for attorney general. Oh sure. Right. Because I'm so behind their position on abortion, the death penalty, women's rights, minority rights, religion in schools, gun control, etc., etc. yeah. (yes, I've lost my shit today, kids, but please bear with me. this could get amusing. And the explanation? Well, my new favorite astrology site explains it all in my horoscope for 1/11/01: You may seem to get the moody blues at around 5:22 am today! If it seems as if you "got up on the wrong side of the bed", there's a reason for it - the planets have created temporary tension and petty annoyances, especially where your home life is concerned. Others may irritate you more easily than usual, and you probably notice things around the house that just bug you - the clutter, the furnishings or perhaps just the color of the walls seems off today. RELAX! Take a deep breath and try to cooperate with family members to make things better. After all, they want what you want - a loving, comfortable home, filled with joy and security! The Moon, which is associated with emotions and sensitivity, is at a tense (waning) 90 degree angle to its own position in your birth chart. This can lead to irritation and moodiness, especially if you are not attuned to your innermost emotional needs. on the up side, it also said that today was a good day to balance my checkbook. Wonderful. Looking like a fabulous day.) thank you, writer's bloc, for being the one bright spot this morning with your remembrance of a certain, very funny Deep Thoughts from SNL: If God lives inside of us, like some people say he does, I hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting. oh, haha…. Thursday, January 11, 2001 11:12 am for all you fucked up sickos looking for "15-year-old girls nude" and worse, get the fuck off my web site. Or rather, read this first. And let me remind you that you're probably at your goddamn job. What the hell do you think your coworkers would say? Or your boss? Or your wife? Or your kids? Or your mother? Sickos. Wednesday, January 10, 2001 6:00 pm I must admit that I'm a little worried about the individual searching for "farmy sexy." Huh. as a temporary pet owner (it's a two-week parenting gig, thanks, but I am available for hire in the future), I am endlessly amused by my new cat-child's antics. It's really amazing. I mean, cats are just so different from dogs, man. this cat, the illustrious lulu, dances around the apartment, can entertain herself with a simple string, and talks to me incessantly. It's so fun having a child. For two weeks…. for some reason, I really love the word jovian. Love it. and I like all articles that use it. and people. I often like to just ask people what the adjective form for "jupiter" is and see if they know it. you get big points if you do. I don't play golf, but if I did, I'd go to zambia to do it. right now. Yes, just up and go. Goddamn, I need a friggin vacation like you wouldn't believe. Maybe the person I met at pete's candy store the other night would want to go, since he shares my affinity for all things african. Maybe. Humans are dumb. Or so aliens would probably say, but I agree, too. slate cracked me up by posting a photo of linda chavez and the headline "PANTS ON FIRE" in their mass-distributed email. Haha! I love oscar predictions. Particularly snotty ones about how everything sucks but certain really sucky films are going to win and why. Thank you, salon and damien bona, for entertaining my fancy. But I also love that this article suggests that "crouching tiger" may win best picture! Woo hoo! That would be quite fun, especially since there are near-flying scenes in the film. Ah, just like mary poppins. Love it. and any film with subtitles that can still hold america's attention is beyond good because we're a bunch of lazy, ethnocentric pigs. And stuff. Surprise, surprise: college athletes drink more than their non-athlete peers. Hi, as a former college varsity athlete, I can attest: we work hard, we play hard. Or rather, we play hard, we play hard. whatever. when you're drunk, who cares about semantics? Hmm…hellsbelle praises everyone's fave, christina kelly, and disses jane, the mag, calling it "antichrist." But I wonder if she knows that christina has actually signed up to be exec editor at the hell-on-earth [no offense, holly] teen rag, YM. We can only pray that christina will bring much-needed intelligence and respect to the boy band-obsessed book. I may not be way into fashion, but this site is fun. And I'm so going here. farewell to madeleine albright as she leaves her post as the first woman to serve as secretary of state. Bye, bye, maddie, we'll miss you. I might go to d.c. on the 20th to protest bush's inauguration. I enjoy the rally's cry, "Hail the thief!" This article about a woman who's saving the orphans of prison inmates in china is quite touching. Go read it. Tuesday, January 9, 2001 1:00 pm amusement of the day (so far): My boss was all concerned that no one was protesting bush and his appointment of psycho christian rightist john ashcroft, but look! I sure did. AND I made a movie about it. [thanks to the writer's bloc for the reference.] Friday, January 5, 2001 4:00 pm amusements of the day: haha. The many versions of "dude, where's my car?" okay, stupidly amusing. It doesn't take much for me, kids…. this cracked me up: the times called this article "bush makes certain his style contrasts with that of clinton" and then placed a horde of clones - I swear, in the exact same dark suits, white shirts, and red ties - behind him. Well, his style may be contrasting with clinton but it's not contrasting with anyone else in his entourage. Blech. It's gonna be a long 4 years…. maybe I'll shave my bush to protest bush! [3rd item, via betsy, whose commentary I really enjoy, actually. Adding her to my daily check.] oh, how fun: turn your palm pilot into a robot! now, if only I had one….. requiems of the day: as my coffee maker actually ticks on, I mourn for george and offspring magazines. oh, this is terrible and sad: british doc may have killed close to 300 of his patients. How awful. But at least they went out feeling good: he used heroin overdoses. Applause of the day: saw "crouching tiger, hidden dragon" the other day and loved it. then I went home and had a dream that I was in the movie and was kicking ass! Love those dreams, and, other than last night, I seem to be having a lot of them. That's cool. Makes me feel awesome when I wake up. Hankerings of the day: ever have those waffle cheese chip sandwich things? So good. I could really use some of those right now. Yeah, how about my health kick? other commentary of the day: so, colin's left for panama (go here to track his flight - oh, how fun!) and my boss is back from umbria, italia. damn them both for getting to take vacations to far away places!!!! Speaking of excessive punctuation, like I told a friend the other day, my life is just packed with punctuation. Here's how: christmas to new year's was the big wind down to the period and now i'm like ellipsis-ing and then moving on to the next sentence. Starting anew. A new stage. A new period to look back on and think, "that was during the time right after colin left, and my boss returned, and I started my new resolutions, and such." Let me explain why: I'm often living in vastly different schedules. So like last year at this time I was floating around (ellipsis) looking for a job, dwelling in the hell of jersey city (well, bolded ellipsis). Then that ended (period) and I went on to a new job (beginning of sentence) and was in there by 9 and out by 6 and not doing a whole lot on the side (period), save for the occasional tryst (exclamation). Then I left there and came to work here (new sentence), started later and stayed later but began going out pretty seriously (no real periods there, just continuous craziness). Then I moved (new sentence), met colin, and started a whole new schedule in a whole new locale. That ended with a big, fat, shitty period and I dwelled on the ellipsis for quite a while, hating everything. But then (new sentence) work got better, friends got better, life got better. Now it's the new year, and things have changed again, and I want them to change more (see dec. 27th) and then I'll be in yet another whole schedule. Can't wait!!!!! moral of the day: in contemplating this even more, some might complain that I base the segments of my life on things that happen to me as opposed to things that I feel or do myself. But that would be a wrong assumption, at least to some degree. I am an active person and pursue things that I want to happen in my life. But sometimes things just happen and you have to react to them. I think there's a mix of this in life that you have to take, shake, 'n'bake. Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze. Or so said stevie nicks. Or jon bon jovi, who actually wrote the song, but whatever, stevie kicks ass even if jon is from nj. Wednesday, January 3, 2001 7:00 pm amusements of the day: ha! I just took emode's zodiac makeover and found out that I actually should have been…a scorpio! Yep, exactly what I already am. I find that extremely amusing. Oh, haha. Oh, hehe. Heh. Also enjoyable: are you loony? and are you sure you're you?Apparently I am somewhat loony and more myself than someone else. (please, you needn't act all surprised now.) This is fun: smack your least fave celeb in the face. well, virtually anyway. Neal pollack is nearly arrested for giving a reading of his book in a train station bathroom. Interesting choice of locale. rant of the day: anyway, I returned to my apartment last night for the first night since the Thursday before christmas and I find the place totally disgusting. The kitchen floor was crusty and black. The bathtub was gray. The bathroom sink was covered over in a greenish yellow slime. I'm not kidding. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little - but not much! My roommates are slobs. So anyway, I start cleaning and kentucky katie comes home. She kind of looks at me weird but continues to chat away as I scrub the bathroom floor. "I bought a dvd player!!!!" she yells. Oh, that's fun. "But it's going in my [6x10 foot] bedroom." Oh, that's not as fun, but, whatever. "so," I say to her later, "this place is pretty dirty, huh?" she just kind of tilts her head and looks at me - you know, like a dog would when he's all perplexed. When I notice that our hot water and heat have both shut off, I go to tell her about it (since soon-to-be-married subletter sara, surprise, surprise, has been sleeping since 8:30) we start chatting about other things. She says she's going to email us about it the next day. I tell her that I'm thinking of sending out an email, too, to work out something about cleaning the apartment. She says, "well what are you going to say?" I explain that I want to suggest some kind of schedule or hiring of a cleaning person so that the apartment gets cleaned once in a while. She says, that she can't afford a cleaning person at $20 a week (although this is the same girl who gets weekly manicures and pedicures) and then, flat out, "well, I'm not really committed to keeping this apartment clean." Huh? Did you really just say that? You are 23, no? you do pay rent, no? you do live here, no? then she goes on to say that she doesn't use most of the apartment. "I don't even cook and, well, the bathroom is debatable." Debatable? Do you shit and piss and shower or not? And as for not cooking, you may order take out nearly every night, but on occasion you do indeed use the stove to make rice'o'roni. Moreover, the filthiest part of the kitchen was the floor. Why? 1) because we all walk on it and 2) YOU, kentucky katie, spill your goddamn cheerios and pretzels all over the damn place and, being that you're not "committed" to keeping the apartment clean, you friggin leave them there. What are you thinking? My god, girl. Subletter Sara, on the other hand, never even cleaned after slathering our kitchen with fondue on december 9th at the party katie and I weren't invited to. Who are these people I'm living with? My goal: get my ass out of there by april. Ugh. Freaks. Never again living with people I don't know and like tremendously. I know it could be a lot worse but geez. requiem of the day: I think my coffee pot is dying. How sad. I almost lost it this morning when it wasn't starting to gurgle immediately. Of course I don't want to buy one before my favorite (which has been with me since early on in college) actually dies, but what will I do the morning I wake up, stumble into the kitchen, try to prepare some coffee, and the damn thing doesn't work? Probably just go back to bed…. Tuesday, January 2, 2001 12:40 pm hey, what do you know, it's 2001. What a sweet and lazy weekend I had celebrating the new year, too. Packed with snow and movies and lounging and eating yummy food and lots of chill stuff. Attended a very nice little "gathering" at holly's cool pad on the lower east side, to which I was very excited to bring my family party favorites: bean dip and crab-stuffed mushrooms. (Everyone seemed to really appreciate them, and they were so easy to make, so I was psyched.) We all had lots to drink, though mostly everyone behaved pretty well, and we all inhaled plenty of junk food. I must say it was one of the first new year's where I barely even watched tv or any of the festivities. We just barely saw the ball drop, being that someone turned the tube's sound up just like 2 minutes before. But that's okay. After all, who cares about times square anyway and god knows you'll be able to catch any mtv countdowns every day for the next year. of course yesterday, then, I was plenty hung over, despite the fact that I'd downed lots of water before hitting the hay close to 6 am. I think, though, that I felt shitty mostly do to the lack of sleep and odd combinations of food in my stomach. But, oh well. It wouldn't be new year's day without feeling terrible, now would it? so, back at work, and being terribly unproductive when it comes to work-related work. Suppose I should get on some of that. Maybe I'll update again later. But I just couldn't leave my newly archived page so blank for all of you to come to and gasp at. So, here ya have a rather lame update, but oh well. Yes, more later.