feeling:
email me
bring it
check out
the archive:
summer '00 & earlier
sept & oct '00
nov & dec '00
jan & feb '01
march '01
reading: geek love by katherine dunn
listening to: tori amos' to venus and back
the beastie boys' paul's boutique
the beatles' anthology 1
the essential bob dylan
the old 97s' satellite rides
wilco's being there
stuff i kinda want:
at amazon
at cdnow
me: heh.
stuff i've written
bar reviews
betty lennox
celeb hair
chris bohjalian interview
cosmetic surgery
diet do's & don'ts
fall makeup
foreign service?
gay parents
holiday gifts
letter to christina
missing kids
myths about africa
oscar beauty & fashion
sleeping kids
taj mcwilliams
past polls
offensive writer? (11.28.00)
does heart rock? (8.16.00)
orgasmic experience? (8.11.00)
joe + al? (8.9.00)
Friday, April 27, 2001
1:00 pm someone please tell me what is wrong with my ear. pain sucks, man. should have called in sick. especially since i came in to 5 messages on my voicemail, four of which came from a psychic who was calling at 1:30 a.m. my question is this: if she's so psychic, why didn't she know that a) i wouldn't be there and b) i wouldn't want to hear her rantings when i did get to the office at 9:45? hmmm?
so, attended probably the worst knicks playoff game in the history of the team last night. that would be my luck. camby, i feel for you, man, but get your shit together. even i can make more freethrows than that.
Thursday, April 26, 2001
2:58 pm "...in birds, porcupines and humans, females have sex whether they are fertile or not, making it more likely that the males will stick around because fertility is no longer an issue."
right. god, what a bitch it must be to have sex with a porcupine.
12:35 pm work rant: I refuse to take my work as a life and death issue. It's not. If people don't get their romance horoscopes on may 1st, but on may 2nd, there will not be any casualties. If they don't receive their nancy mckeon fan newsletter twice a month, no one's going to start stalking her who hasn't already in an attempt to assassinate her. I promise. If people don't get to read what smart money has to say about the economy on our site, hey, it's gonna be okay because - shocker - they can always pick up their own issue of smart money. This is not brain surgery, people. nor is it breaking news, human rights issues, civil service, or even food service. No one is going to die if we don't deliver them their "which golden girl are you more like?" quiz results. But, honestly, I would work on that attitude for the sake of other people if they would treat my work the same way when it's independent of their own jobs. But they don't. so screw them.
urban rant: I've kind of decided that new york city is earth's best shot at a place comparable to hell. It's really quite an interesting experiment, actually. It's amazing the things you can see in the span of just 12 hours. This place is crawling with the seven deadly sins. I mean, I witnessed a couple having sex in a bathroom bar last night (lust), only to get on the train this morning to people pushing and clawing at each other for space to stand (avarice/greed), so much so that they were nearly yelling at each other (wrath). And with all the money and material bullshit circulating around this city, pride, envy, gluttony, and sloth are running rampant. Whatever - I'm not one to a) abide by the standards of organized religion or b) preach, but my point is that being here makes all that stuff normal to the point where it becomes more and more acceptable each day. This shit rubs off on you. if you let it, seeing this garbage go down every day makes you both a worse person simply for witnessing it and more inclined to do it yourself. It takes a lot of good will, self control, empathy, and inner peace to not become one of the many. I don't know if I have enough of any of that to stay here for very long.
In any case, the hothouse flowers aren't staying away - they're playing irving plaza may 11th, which I'm really psyched about, even if no one I know will probably want to go. Email me if you're interested. How could I not go after liking them since I was 13? Well, I guess I could say that I liked a lot of shitty bands I'd never pay money to see today [take note, Wednesday night girls: the nelson twins cut their hair] but I believe these irish guys are actually good.
Wednesday, April 25, 2001
5:35 pm just a warning: many of my musings today are quite odd. I think the sudden change in weather has thrown me off a bit. Or maybe it's the build up of lactic acid in my legs from running and kickboxing (they're killing me today). Maybe it's just the fact that I'm editing astrological predictions today and that always makes me a little goofy. Alternately it could have something to do with watching lisa rinna in a new lifetime original movie and being completely focused on her tremendously huge and clearly collagen-injected lips the whole time. I don't know. But I figured that you should know before reading on.
oh please. americans are so damn fickle and forgetful. How in the world could we be all up in arms about bush being elected and then 13 weeks in we're all like, yeah, he's fine. Um, no. not fine. The opposite of fine. That was what you meant to say when those silly gallup people called you. Now go call them back and correct the mistake.
did I ever tell you that marcus camby and I have a special connection? Well, I think I've told at least one of you that, but it's true. Let me explain:
1) he played at umass while I was at amherst. On occasion i'd see him out in bars or on the street.
2) after marcus left, his umass coach, john calipari, went on to coach the nets in nj, where, yeah, I'm from. Being that I had to remain in amherst, in mourning for marcus along with the rest of the town, I felt that john had chosen to go to nj in an effort to keep marcus and me connected. that was pretty sweet of him.
3) marcus then moved to the knicks from toronto in anticipation of my move to nyc.
4) my roommate works for the knicks. I'm guessing that he finagled it so she would offer me the apartment so we could be closer. Which we are simply because she invites me to games and I get to go and stand in the tunnel where all the players walk to the locker rooms after the games. We don't talk because he's trying to stay focused on his career. And I understand that, of course, because I feel the very same way.
yeah. So that - and because goddamn this is just scary - is why I feel for him and his family with this whole intruder incident. My god. That hartford is one wild and crazy place.
what's really wrong with the nba? Players' giganticism, according to this slate writer. It's true. They're monstrous. There's no way they can be stopped except if you find bigger and faster monsters. I mean, have you seen shaq lately? His head has grown to be the size of a new planet and his eyes are so close together and beady, it's really quite scary. And he just lumbers back and forth, putting up his hands, doing a little hop, and smashing the ball deep into the basket. It's like watching dinosaurs play soccer or something. Ridiculous. Unless, of course, we're talking about camby, spree, and houston, or iverson. I could watch those guys all day. Their size is much more manageable.
why is it the more water I drink, the thirstier I am? Call me an inquiring mind but I want to know.
random subway rant: brooklyn kid may like the N/R, but I don't. In fact, I hate it. and I often walk 9 blocks from grand central to my office on 8th avenue just to avoid it. it sucks. It's so slow. It's the only train I ride that consistently stops for long periods of time between stations. And I live off the F, damn it. the N/R has made me late numerous times and is just outright sucky. That's why many people call it the Never & the Rarely. I have almost completely stopped depending on this line to deliver me anywhere. Down with the N/R!
Tuesday, April 24, 2001
3:09 pm This is amusing: an old article from time out ny about the dangers of prospect park on a Sunday afternoon. At first I was like, yeah, I hear you, but then, as I got reading, I realized that the "head in this space," "deck in this space," and numerous "tk"'s (journo jargon for "to come," an indication that data is missing) throughout weren't just the result of an accidental posting, but rather a joke. At which I laughed. But I wonder, does anyone outside the writing world really get what's going on here?
Oh, wow, sheryl swoopes tears the ligament in her knee and is sidelined for the season before pre-season even starts!!!! This really changes things, man. she's clearly the best player in the wnba. I feel bad for her. That just sucks. The comets must be reeling now with just tina thompson left of their infamous big 3. Huh.
…here we go liberty!
12:30 pm feeling very pissy today.
reason #1: I seem to have lost my unlimited weekly metrocard that I just bought yesterday. I used it three times. There's nothing worse than that feeling when you know you've just thrown your money out the window and you're already strapped for cash. Ugh. Which leads to…
reason #2: I have so little money right now and this is my big bill-paying week. And my company owes me a lot of money for stuff I've done on the side. If I don't get that money this week, I'm basically screwed. I hate financial stress.
reason #3: a certain channel I am all too intimately involved with sucks majorly. And I mean majorly. How in the world can I work at a place that actually lines up movies linking love with jealousy and murder over the span of a weekend in a kind of "love kills" stunt? How how how???? If this doesn't go against every core of my being, I don't know what does. God, are they trying to get women to go psycho and kill their partners - or at least their mistresses/new wives/girlfriends/interested parties? Where is the social consciousness in making these movies, much less clumping them all together so they make up a 14-hour movie marathon? My god.
[sigh]
on a brighter note, I went up to harlem live, a newspaper-y web site created and maintained completely by harlem teens, to offer my services. I'm pretty psyched for that. I think I'm gonna be helping them come up with story ideas, writing, editing, maybe even some html (stop the snickering - I know its ironic that I would be helping anyone else with html when my own site looks so friggin amateur, but hey, maybe I'll learn something too, okay?). they've got a part of the site called "she thang" which, yeah, is all about girl's issues and stuff so they were psyched to hear where I work. My bet: I'll end up helping them work on cooler stuff than I even get to do in my job. Shit, that's not funny. And hey, there's reason #4.
okay, need to get this day looking up. Woo hoo: talking to dan today. kickboxing tonight. Knicks game Thursday. Nancy coming on Friday. Gathering with the PG Friday night. Maybe vermont on Saturday. Warm weather. Green grass. Long runs. Daffodils. Um, toe-less shoes. Lunch outside. Midland run in may.
Monday, April 23, 2001
5:40 pm Oh dear, do I ever know someone who would be so disgusted to read scott's posting about the dave matthews concert in charlottesville this past weekend because a) the crowd and b) neil young & crazy horse actually opened for him. Oh he he.
And now, at long last, my argument for liking dave despite the crowd: The thing is, though, it's just so college. All of it. the kids hanging out of their dorm windows. The nappy baseball caps. The streaming in the venue like friggin sheep. It's just college, man. and maybe I'm terrible for still having an appreciation for his music (though, no, I'm not liking the new album), but I do have the ability to block out the fan issue because, as I've said before, I've only been to one of his shows and it was with tim reynolds only and it was in '96, before he got too cliched. And besides, while I may have hated the whole cliched college scene while I was there just as I do now, I can step back and just say, hey, it's a period in time, it's a group of people that I am unlike, and whatever, that's the way they choose to be. I kind of find it amusing and reminiscent, in good and bad ways. It kind of takes me back, and even if it's back to shitty times, being holed up in a crappy fraternity basement watching obnoxious, overweight, and overindulged guys in their early 20s harass women and chugs beers in single gulps - in their nappy baseball caps and their birkenstocks. It's just like tasting natty lite, ya know? It's not high quality beer, but hell, it's fun and it reminds me of partying times and funny people and shitty amherst and being young and irresponsible. And hell, it makes for more humor in my life.
And besides, if you've liked an artist in the past, why not hear what they have to say today, even if you don't really like where they're going or what they've become? It's still the same guy. There's got to be some quality left somewhere in there. Isn't that the lesson we've learned from every movie about some old miserly/sold out guy ever?
so have you heard about some teachers in south africa banning books? Well, apparently some of the books banned were by white south african of british descent Nadine Gordimer, as well as black writers Dambudzo Marachera of Zimbabwe and Njabulo Ndebele of South Africa. I find it all ridiculous that any of these books would be banned simply for not being uplifting enough or "deeply racist, superior and patronizing." After all, they simply reflect the people and the times in the telling of their stories. So if in portraying southern africa's past they do demonstrate racism, superiority, and patronization, that would make a lot of sense. But anyway, this times article says that a south african paper reported that all the teachers who had tried to ban the books were white. Okay. But then it goes on to focus solely on the work of nadine gordimer, laying tons and tons of praise upon her, saying how ridiculous it would be to ban her work, how it was anti-intellectual, etc., without really saying anything about the other writers or why their work was just as valuable - if not as well known. What's up with that?
3:00 pm why there are no girl-boy bands. oh, I don't care.
But: the fact is, though the corrs are a bit different because a) they actually play instruments and b) they're brother and sisters, they're pretty close to the manufactured coed pop group. And honestly, they kind of give me the willies. I mean, they're all so beautiful. It kind of makes me feel like there's some incest going on there though I'm not sure why. It's just not natural because, yes, there's a lot of sexuality in pop music band construction and iugh, to be sexual in front of your brother and alongside your sisters? Blech. It's like, are you trying to turn them on? No no no.
peter buck of r.e.m. is arrested for air rage - but it just sounds like air drunkenness to me. and, so appropriately for the day after earth day: michael stipe has apparently taken up a new cause seemingly more important than the environment - getting rid of speed bumps in his neighborhood. What?
Do you know the feeling when you think a friend, someone you've even considered a good friend, isn't telling you everything? But especially when you feel like everyone else in their life knows every minute detail? Do you know that feeling? Of course it all makes sense - people grow apart, people fade away, people come back together and share things only selectively - but it's still kind of sad. Especially when you think about how you were once one of the people the most in the know and the most trusted. And though it's only natural that relationships change and circumstances create distances, sometimes you blame yourself, you wonder if you're any less worthy of that trust and confidence. And then there's the moment when, yes, you know you are. And that's too bad. And you feel bad. And then you make excuses because god knows you don't have time for everyone else's problems and stories and concerns because, shit, you haven't even heard all of your own. And then you feel better and you forget until the next time when you hear a story or a detail that you weren't privy to. And then you feel a twinge in your gut and you sigh. Repeat.
9:55 am yet another reason to be so sad that cdnow is going to be going the way of so many other web sites: a brand-new interview plus video of the old 97s. in the interview, they shun the term "alt-country" and express their hopes that people will think they're a british invasion band, or just like blink-182. right. and rhett uses the phrase "gay wad." heh.
Friday, April 20, 2001
4:04 pm i do wonder if jordan will return to the game. i hope not. i love him and all but that would just be annoying. like he must come back and save the poor, beleaguered league. come on, now. besides, i'm liking the bad boys more and more these days and mj is such the goody-goody in my eyes.
and, yes, happy 4/20 day. have a toke for me, okay? god knows i won't touch the stuff....
12:45 pm this is really great: will leitch gives perspective on life and time passing via "appetite for destruction" in this ironminds article called "we are fucking old." A must read for everyone I know.
it's funny - this article really struck a chord. I actually heard "me in honey" from r.e.m.'s "out of time" album this morning on WFUV, and was so psyched because man, it had been a while and I don't think I've ever heard it on the radio. I actually have that album in its original tape form. Stuffed inside of the case so that it barely closes and I have to fiddle with it every time I drag it out is a stiff piece of paper ripped from sassy magazine which has the words to "losing my religion" on it. it was a one-time thing for the magazine to feature song lyrics, but since the staff - okay, mostly jane pratt - was obsessed with r.e.m. from day 1 of the band's existence, they thought they'd be cool and get the lyrics before the song got big and post them in the magazine since r.e.m. apparently never publishes its lyrics - at least not in their liner notes. But the irony of this whole endeavor, as one keen reader also noted a few months later in a letter to the magazine, was that, of all of r.e.m.'s songs, this one's lyrics were the most readily understandable. How about providing the lyrics to "it's the end of the world as we know it"? now that would have been helpful that summer that sharon ambielli and I sat for hours in my family's ocean city, nj beach house and played and played and replayed that song in an effort to write down and memorize all of its lyrics. Yeah.
I do also remember seeing "JFK." Actually, I remember the evening quite well.
The cast: brad henry, jeff bebino, erin what's-her-face, frank grenagle - all sophomores - and me, a puny freshman.
The location: the small flemington movie theater (which now is coat world or whatever).
The situation: brad, frank, and I were really into seeing the movie. I was friends with brad but not with frank, who's psychotic, though brad was. Jeff and erin had wanted to see the movie, but when it got going and they realized that it was like a 3 and ½ hour long movie, they just wanted to go make out. So they did, a few rows behind us. There were not many people in the theater so we got to sprawl out and be louder than usual. I remember brad, frank, and I going through lapses of concentration, in which we'd be really into the movie and then we'd get really into some conversation and then refocus. This is possible with JFK because it moves rather slowly and, hell, it's just long. Afterwards, because we were all 16 and under and didn't drive, we decided to walk to the nearby KFC. But it was closed. So we had to run across the 4 lane highway which is rte 31 and the flemington circle to the dunkin donuts on the other side. Somehow we made it alive. Then I think brad called his mom and she, ever the martyr, drove like 30 minutes in order to come and pick us up. The ride home, I'm sure, was filled with brad and co. putting his mom down, as this was typically what happened whenever she was around - or not, actually.
So I'm watching the wnba draft as I write. So fun. But it definitely feels like everyone knows who's going to get picked when. I mean, the cameras keep focusing on one person during the 2:00 between picks. And then that one will get called. Whatever. Sadly, since I suck and don't watch college ball, I don't know who any of these women are. But I'm sure I will by july, no problem.
Thursday, April 19, 2001
2:50 pm hey, fun, nancy offers off this fight site - and I'm sure she's hasn't even read the pita to hear all about my kickboxing session. Shame. But at least it's totally appropriate without her even knowing it.
a shout out to jen who not only was so awesome as to get me tickets for last night's knicks game, but now she's getting me tix to next week's playoff game. how much does my roommate rock? and, hey, i'm taking stand-in names just in case mike forfeits his allegiance (ahem, again) and bails. anyone? anyone?
Wednesday, April 18, 2001
6:15 pm sounds like someone's got a lot of self-loathing to deal with. [via brooklyn kid]
so, after yesterday's trashing of our man igor's english skills, it turns out that not only is he not russian (rather, croatian - "dooo you know where eees?" "oh. sure.") or short and conspicuously missing a neck like I suspected him to be, but he's tallish, an awesome trainer, and a nice guy, despite the incredibly large ego.
Just to make sure I got a real workout, I decided to go running after work and before I met with him at 8. So when I go there I told him so, just so he'd know that I'd already done my cardio and didn't plan on hopping on a treadmill while he watched and chanted "faster! Faster!"
he seemed pleasantly surprised, even though he said, "oh. ah never tell peeeeple tah dooo aneeeteeng befahhr one ahf theeese waaaahkahts."
"yeah, well, I'm a runner," I said stoically, "and it's a priority to me."
"Ahh see," he said, smiling rather psychotically. I probably should have been worried at this point, but instead I just got more psyched for a killer workout. "so you're maybe in preeeetty guud shape?"
heh heh. Well, what do you say to that? I mean, unless you're an olympic athlete, do you ever really know how you compare to others athletically? It's not like there's some scale of physical fitness outside of high school gym class, right?
"uh, sure. …anyway, so what I want to do is get more into kickboxing and get some more strength and stuff," I explained.
so we jumped right into it. he had me do some stretches and stuff and then, while asking me my history with kickboxing and exercise, wrapped my hands and wrists with that very cool looking black sports wrap stuff. I was tempted to take off my shirt so I was just in my sports bra and shorts, but considered that maybe instead of looking really kickass, I'd just look stupid. The shirt stayed on.
I did push ups, sit ups, bar lifts in a million different directions, jabs, crosses, front kicks, side kicks, combinations. Repeat. Then we got in the ring and he had me jumping all over the place, swinging, kicking, jabbing, crossing, hopping. Then suddenly he'd be like, "geeeve meee twenty!" -- seriously - and I'd be on the floor doing push ups. Ugh. It was awesome. I was sweating up a storm, firing shots all over the place, focusing only on the black target in the middle of the red hand pads. It rocked.
Then, all too quickly, my hour was up and I was exhausted. Man oh man.
I was thinking, man, that was cool. A good workout. Great stuff. He knew I ran beforehand and he didn't even take it easy on me. just kept pushing. This guy is awesome.
"guuud jahb! You're in vahry guuud shape. Vahry guuud. Yoooo knowww, I never give that lesson the first time. but I knew you could take eeet."
just what I need - a trainer more psychotic about me working out than me. too bad his personal training sessions cost $71 a piece. Yeah. Don't think I'll be seeing much of him in a one-on-one situation after my other free session. Nope.
it was really great, though. It's so funny to think about a) all those back muscles i have that I never really feel and b) how much anger and intensity I must have built up inside me. I swear, in the moment, I wasn't even thinking about it. but to think back now and the fierceness I was punching and kicking with…it's kind of weird. There's a lot of pent up aggression, obviously, and it's so refreshing to let it all go. Was I picturing anything or anyone in particular? No. rather, I feel completely clear-headed and focused on the movements when I do it. it's pretty amazing really, and not unlike how I feel about running. So zen, so friggin zen.
amusement of the day: isn't it funny when people who claim to be such incredible fans of some team repeatedly refuse invitations to see their games for such piddly things as work and dinner? And how I'm the one who dogs the nba (the site for which sucks and keeps crashing my browser) and yet I'm the one who goes to the games? Ha.
Woo hoo: wnba draft day is almost here! And did you read this week's village voice? Great articles addressing women's pro sports - how far they've come, where they're going, why most wnba players are getting paid shit, and why women's soccer will do better than men's in the u.s., no doubt.
Tuesday, April 17, 2001
4:12 pm in case you hadn't gotten the point yet, boredom does indeed breed updates. so here's another: a fun list of band name origins. i love that so many of them come from movie names or lines. great stuff, even if i've never heard of way too many of them. this will serve as tremendous creative inspiration when i do finally learn how to play bass and jen & i start our band. yep. [via amplified]
2:40 pm so I got my coffee and things are already starting to look up. Cannot even tell you how bored I am right now though. And thus you get another update:
that slave ship off the western coast of africa finally docked and reportedly contained only 28 kids--and supposedly none were "slaves." highly suspicious. Was this story fabricated by someone or were the kids sold elsewhere? We may never know.
agreed: felons should totally have the right to have dna evidence and testing included in their defense. Guilty, innocent, or otherwise.
cross your fingers as the april 19th anniversary of waco approaches. Lots of sickos out there, kids.
hmm. Pat robertson is oddly accepting of abortion when it comes to chinese women being forced to do it to female babies. yes I'm implying that he's racist and sexist and approving of martial law tactics. But that's just because I love him of course.
someone other than a kenyan wins the men's portion of the boston marathon. are people actually happy about that? And damn all you bostonians who got the day off. As if the rest of us aren't just as patriotic? What is that?
as a born and bred new jerseyan, I'm proud to say that yes, we are cranky, former governor christine todd, thank you very much. And just a little FYI for ya, stating publicly that you and dubya think more similarly on environmental issues than it may appear is probably not going to sit very well with others 3 ½ years from now when industrial pollution and water quality are worse than they've ever been. Yeah.
so I got this call right after I joined crunch, the gym, and this woman with a particularly shrill and annoying voice, who must have been a cheerleader at some point, began questioning me about why exactly I had joined. I explained that, duh, it was to get in better shape.
"and look better than your friends?" she asked.
"uh, no, not really. that's not exactly my focus," I said, rather taken aback. "I, uh, am a runner and want to train for something or something. And I want to get into kick-boxing and stuff," I said, with supreme articulation.
"oh, okay, so you want to train for racing and get into kickboxing…so you can look better than all your friends?" she shrieked.
"uh, no. not that last part," I said.
anyway, she went on to explain that now that she knew what my goals were, she was going to match me up with a personal trainer for my first free one-on-one training session.
"cool," I said, even though she clearly had no idea what my "goals" were.
the next day at work, my phone rings.
"haylo. May ah spoke to leenay-ah?"
"this is LINNEA," I say.
"wat?"
"this is LINNEA."
"leenay?"
"yes. LINNEA."
"oh. Okay, haylo, thees eees igor, a train-or at cruncheeeeng. I want to make appointment for personal training session with you. When will you come to cruncheeeeng?"
"oh, okay. Well, I don't know. The rest of this week is bad and then I'm going to be away all of next week so I'm not really sure when I'll be able to come in after that. How about I call you when I get back?"
"okay. You want keeekboxing, right?"
"uh, yeah. And other stuff."
"okay. I give you my number."
and he did. So whatever, week went on, I went away, I came back early. On my voicemail was a message:
"Monday, april 9th at 1:20 pm," intoned the voicemail lady. that would have been less than a week after the first conversation.
"haylo, leeeenayah, theese eees igor from cruncheeeeng. I want to make appointment for personal traineeeng session. You never called back. Pleeeese call me aht…."
right. I didn't call back. That was Friday.
then, yesterday, my phone rings.
"haylo, may ah spoke to leenay-ah?"
right, and basically the first conversation repeated itself.
Anyway, I made an appointment with igor at "cruncheeeeeng" for tonight at 8. Yeah, can't wait. is this going to be a very frustrating yet comedic waste of an hour? maybe. should i call crunch and request someone else? probably. but at this point, who really cares? and as a matter of fact, i kind of want some weirdo russian guy--and, i forgot to add, self-proclaimed "keeekboxeeeng champeeeon"--to kick my ass. it'll just make me feel like rocky, no?
11:35 am I really don't think it's possible for a workspace to be louder than mine is. Okay, let me set some limits to that and say indoor, office workspaces, because I hear that jet craft carriers can get on the noisy side. But, my god, people running, yelling, calling over others' heads, phones ringing, people laughing, sobbing, singing, playing loud and bad music, slamming doors, everything. Usually I can block this all out. But not today. before, while on the phone interviewing a chef for a piece due tomorrow, people were laughing loudly directly behind me, slamming down phones, announcing things to the whole office, saying, "oh my god, you guys...!" Come on now, people. let's turn the volume down.
movies to watch stoned. yeah, yeah, we know. Side comment regarding this article: no, I don't get a kick out of sitting in a movie theater and watching someone's life go down the tubes, as per 'requiem for a dream.' That movie disturbed me so completely, and I think it did have a lot to do with the message that it was bashing you on the head with: drugs are bad. That guys friggin arm, man….very little has grossed me out in a theater so much. Ugh. Just thinking of it now makes me cringe. So nasty. Not that I consider myself a drug-user per se, but, damn, it is suspicious how so many drug movies today are incredibly negative. And sucky. Okay, no, I won't go down that road, because there have been some good movies made lately. Just feeling supremely negative this morning, aren't I? Ah, now I know why: the coffee. It's really not the same when someone else who doesn't have your same obsession or level of experience makes it. and so disappointing to then have to toss more than half your travel mug down the sink because it's so not up to par and you just have to leave. Be right back. Need to make amends with my coffee-loving psyche or else I may be pissy for the rest of the day. And, if you read the previous paragraph regarding my work space, that could be a very bad thing for the excessively loud people around me.
Monday, April 16, 2001
12:20 pm today in the news: slave ships and black church bombing trials. is this really 2001? Also, "footloose" lives on in the town of pound, virginia. Who knew that dancing was actually banned anywhere?
why I'm probably quitting my volleyball team: basketball is a much, much better sport - for watching and for playing. And watching it all the time now just makes me miss it. whatever, call me a quitter but it's for my own happiness - and, quite honestly, probably for the happiness of the rest of the team. I'm really not that good. Though if it was beach volleyball, I'd be kicking ass, no problem. It's all about the venue. There's much more attitude and craziness involved in beach volleyball. Inside I just feel caged and like there are all these strict rules to follow. Now to find a basketball league….
just in case you weren't clear on who rules our country, it's not the masses, but the rich. those are some crazy numbers, people.
I don't know about you but I don't wear a uniform. nor am I really lacking closet space. I will not say that l.a. is more fashionable than nyc, at all. Rather, I will say that both communities take fashion way too seriously and need to get a grip. But I suppose if this writer's going to have to justify living in l.a., she needs something to lean on. Sure, closet space. More creative dressing. Whatever. All I can say is, if you can't dress originally in nyc, where the hell can you?
Friday, April 13, 2001
2:40 pm who the hell is this president guy of ours and how can he even think for one second that water that contains 50 parts arsenic per billion is just fine for us when the previous administration determined that 10 parts is (obviously) a better standard? AND he thinks it's a fine idea to blame china for that whole spy plane collision thing now that the americans who committed the foul are back on american soil. I swear, he just wants to kill us all - tap water or world war, either way. It's no friggin wonder we have no confidence in the goddamned economy. People are afraid to leave their houses, much less go to a scary-ass kmart. My god.
ha! Who should really get taxed: really annoying people.
in anticipation of the great chocolate holiday, I just want to say that these people who think that these chocolate eggs are unsafe are crazy. First of all, okay, don't give your friggin 3-year-olds huge chunks of chocolate. I actually had the french version of these candies some 9 years back and they rock, but you know that the reason americans can't deal with this idea is we're such pigs and must inhale all food, especially crappy chocolate, upon first seeing it. instead of, you know, investigating to see if there are other items in it. okay, that was a random rant.
finally, zimbabwe withdraws its troops from the congo. Is this the first bit of good zim news I've reported here? Quite possibly.
I wonder if these new nba rules will help or hurt the game. Sounds to me like someone can't knock the wnba for allowing zone now, can they?
So what the hell am I doing back, you ask? Well, it's a sad story actually. To make a really long story short, not even 24 hours into my true vacation, meaning post-work Saturday, my grandfather died. So, though I got to explore l.a. and its surrounding areas, including joshua tree national park, I never made it to san francisco or anywhere up the coast. Definitely not what I was looking forward to or hoping for, but it is what it is and hey, you can't control these things, man. it's been a tough week, I'll say that much.
Friday, April 6, 2001
10:20 am yeah, stressed. Deadlines suck. responsibility sucks, too. Hopefully everything will get done and my state of mind will change before I leave the state today. where are you going, you ask? To california - a place to which I've somehow never even been. L.A. first for work to interview some b-grade celebs - ain't no shame in it - and then, yippie! I'll be driving up the coast to san francisco, taking my time, just hanging out, seeing the sights, delving into the funky, all alone and indulging the inner me. in SF there is guaranteed time with college friends rachael, rob, and erick, and if I get lucky, nikki and others who I haven't talked to since graduation. But there's also leanne, who I know will show me a good time if we do indeed get to meet up, as I hear she throws some great parties. Woo hoo! I'm really itching to just drive, man, and to hang out in warm, warm weather and see the ocean, and just be somewhere beautiful. Nyc's great and all but god are my senses deprived right now. Also key: not working for a week. I can't believe I have the next 9 days off. it's a beautiful thing.
still, it's all very bitter sweet. Leaving right now means freedom from things I don't want to do and freedom from things I do. Someday, the best of all possible worlds will work out, right? No, I'm not being cryptic, just nonsensical, thanks. but someone out there gets it, maybe.
unrelated pita rant: it's kind of funny when your closest friends don't have enough interest in your life - or, okay, just time on their hands - to read your daily commentary, and people you've never met or are superbly not close to do and are even obsessive about doing so. What does that say about me as a friend, and about the people I am friends with? maybe that i'm better from a distance -- though, these pretty personal musings cannot really be called distanced, nor can the in-person perspective. or maybe it says nothing. Just a thought, though.
anyway, it's unlikely that you'll hear from me at all while I'm away. So, hey, have a great week. I miss you already. especially you. XXOO.
Wednesday, April 4, 2001
11:55 am thank god: rod stewart to tour this summer and journey's new album is released - finally. Sheesh. I really was getting impatient about both of these magical, musical moments. Yeah.
anne informs me that american high will be airing on PBS Wednesdays at 10 now. I'm very psyched about this because I never did see the show before it got canned, and it looks very interesting. Reality tv at it's finest - i.e. focusing on high school drama.
rhett miller tonight at fez, kids. And if you didn't stay up til 1:26 after suffering through some spikey-haired blonde guy to see him and the rest of the old 97s on conan like I did, you'll be happy to hear that they played "king of all the world" and that he looked very good and even did his whole rocking-out head-dancing thing. Heh - roomie jen reports that she and rhett are actually pals from her high school dallas days. Well, okay, not pals, but apparently he played some fundraisers. Which I think is hilarious and sweet. Jen, I'm sure he'd remember you, no problem, with your whole melissa etheridge look, right? Yeah, no.
Monday, April 2, 2001
3:18 pm this is garbage. Ugh.
this is awesome. Yay.
I would have loved to have been part of the committee to redesign the girl scouts uniform. How funny would that have been. But, hello? Zip-up stretch top and flared pants? You really think that'll have 'em running to join, eh? Ha! Girl scout branded jeans are really the way to go, though, yes, a little flare would be nice, but the top needs to be something a lot more comfortable than zip-up polyester. Hmm. I'll get back to you on that.
Here it is: my dream job. pay me $300,000 and tell me to just consult on some magazines that need developing and I will have no problem with that whatsoever.
This article on teen mags is pretty good, although that atoosa at cosmogirl, I don't know. She kind of scares me. I like that the editor of YM hangs out with teenagers every Friday night. That's fun stuff, and exactly what I'd do. Although, what kind of teenagers are they who aren't out with their friends at the movies or at parties or whatever on Friday nights? Actually, the ones probably reading YM. Which is not necessarily an insult; I'm just saying that older teens are not doing this kind of thing OR reading YM. God knows I wasn't.
Hmmm. This side of rosie is kind of scary. That whole fake face/real face thing freaks me out. I'm thinking she's pretty unstable now. Damn, I really thought she was sweet and passionate and happy. Now I fear she's just like every other comedian out there - particularly the bigger ones: disturbed.
Also clearly disturbed, but in a much less comedic way: milosevic.
Are you kidding me? boys are just gross.
this article about snowboarders vs. old guard skiiers at aspen does a great job of juxtapositioning the class, age, and attitudes of the different groups. Cracks me up. Are these people for real? My god.
yeah: whatever. don't tell me these things as I wake up worried that my rent check might bounce, okay?
damn, I wish I had stuck around to watch hoosiers last night….i really, really do. How incredibly appropriate, even if some people think ncaa women's ball doesn't count.
12:25 pm with april '01 comes a new tradition: monthly archiving. after all, why not? i've just been lazy up til now, really, and not so invested in the production side of the pita. but no more. still, if you missed anything from march, go here and catch up.
so, tomorrow is my big one-year work anniversary, which may mean very little to most of you. But for those of you who have known me since I graduated from college, this may come as quite a shock. After all, for a while there I think I was considered the job-hopper, the ever unsatisfied one, the one that was always looking, the one that had three jobs in 7 months. my god, that sounds hilarious now - but, hey, right in line with the fact that I moved 4 times in a year and a half. god, I've been such a fucking transient! And to some extent I totally still am, but somehow I've ended up clocking in a full year here. I have no idea how it all happened, how one year could have actually passed without me changing jobs yet again, considering my feelings - past and present - about my place of business, to be quite honest with you. I mean, I was happy here for about the first month, pre-Pita, and then things started going down hill when my job description completely changed. And things got better with my work on the WNBA. And then they got much, much worse as supervisor issues arose (that's really when the pita started taking off, if any of you recall). And then things sucked, and one day back in september I was SO close to quitting. I mean, one-word-out-of-any-of-you- and-I'm-outta-here type of close. but then something happened. Practically the next day, life just got better, I stopped caring so damn much, my boss's life got better, work got less stressful, I started liking more of the people here, I started getting paid some more and working on some rather interesting pieces, and stuff like that. But really, the big thing was that my life just got better. Thanks to all of you who helped me with that. And to all you who didn't, well.
watch, now that i've said all that and had an anniversary and even had my first review, i'll get laid off. hey, it's happened before. if you haven't heard the horror story already, the day after my 3-month anniversary and review at new woman, our entire office got canned. so, yeah, check back for updates today. ya never know.
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