______calender:
[1.03.05] instruction begins.
_____archives:
scarlet hearts.
lovesick.
echo.
snapshot.
raunchy.
warm buttons.
autumn.
sizzle.
_____schedule:
[monday]
thanks,
pita!
8:00 - 9:20 yoga
10:00 - 11:50 plant/animal biology
12:00 - 1:20 microeconomics
1:30 - 4:20 plant/animal biology laboratory
5:30 - 7:10 physics
[tuesday]
8:30 - 10:10 art history
6:00 - 7:20 chemistry
7:30 - 10:05 chemistry laboratory
[wednesday]
8:00 - 9:20 yoga
10:00 - 11:50 plant/animal biology
12:00 - 1:20 microeconomics
1:30 - 4:20 plant/animal biology laboratory
5:30 - 7:10 physics
7:20 - 10:00 physics laboratory
[thursday]
8:30 - 10:10 art history
2:45 - 3:45 gfc meeting
4:25 - 5:25 homework buddy/tutoring
6:00 - 7:20 chemistry
7:30 - 10:05 chemistry laboratory
[friday]
9:00 - 12:40 history
[saturday]
8:30 - 2:20 art
[sign]
me.
[email] me.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
in the middle of shaving my legs in the shower, i noticed a new bruise below my left knee. i don't remember ever getting it or even feeling the pain. this happens a lot so this isn't even an atypical issue. my shins alone are building up a bruise collection...
Monday, December 27, 2004
if i spend half as much time doing what i've been doing for this past week, i would totally kick ass in school.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
words are burning me.
i feel so fucking betrayed.
when that sort of bitter feeling hits me, running is the only thing i can/want to do. even a shortlived run will do the trick. for whatever minutes, i run as fast as my legs will consent to. shrug. a vigorous run just gives me a better perspective on things.
it doesn't matter so much anyway. it all just advanced my willpower level up 10 notches...
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
problem: mind awake. eyes tired.
after over 30 minutes of attempts, i still can't sleep.
naturally, my mind goes on this wild adventure so to speak. it starts out small. simple questions like "should i do laundry tomorrow?" or "should i care about doing my hair tomorrow?" it augments into substantial categories. like "what will the 25 year old linda be doing?" or "how will things be when i get back to davis?" how it all ties in? it doesn't. everything gets tossed around. i like that my mind's going on this spontaneous trip, but man... in the end, i just want to get some damn sleep!
ps: fucking insomnia.
pita absorbed since 2002 and i've managed to just keep the last year of it publically accessible. although, if you did a little investigating, you would probably find all of it. i found those old posts, and truussst me... no one needs to be reading it. gag me with a spoon. it was blasted with bizarre randoms. shit, man. i read snippets of them and i'm ashamed at how high school-ish i was--seemingly needy and co-dependent (of a certain someone) and unlike who i am now.
i cleaned up my room a couple of days ago and i got the chance to look back on the old days. let me break it to you, it ain't so pretty. hee. sometimes, it hurts to be reminded. i threw it out. i don't want to come across that junk a year from now and soak up bad and stupid memories. i don't need to hold on to things that make me sad. things i never thought about or realized, i do now. it's so revitalizing to know i've had some sort of closure--even if it's just with myself.
i haven't had a real conversation with anyone for days. months actually. when i hear how long it's been, it forces me to take a step back and think "holy crap." i've never not talked to anyone for this long. this includes my family. i've always had that one person i still confided in. strange as it all may seem, i'm really ok with everything. what i'm doing now i need to do. with the string of chaotic events and bad luck, i sort of zoned out on myself.
i've always thought i was a bit cursed. hah. i'm actually very accepting of the fact that i'm a ball of bad luck rolling around this earth. i just believe that. it used to bother me. not so much now that it is what it is and i can work myself around that. it all sounds very strange, i know. it's what works for me. builds me up a bit.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
simultaneously lipsyncing and dancing to britney spears' tunes at 4 am.
sometimes, insomnia doesn't take a break until muuuch muuucch later.
Friday, December 17, 2004
i've been on coffee probation for while. man, i don't need coffee! this insomnia business is running the place.
ps: i hate the winter season.
ps: tired of this bull. get your damn facts straight.
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... following my pilates workout.
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