annoyed
sighZ iz just a bit annoyed tonite from people mrow first off annoyed at the fact there iz either or waz a trojan virus on here hoping i got rid of it sighz eih hate the fact that I had to change the password on my aohell account i alwayz want to put my old password Secondly annoyed that every fawking time I call Melissa any more she will never pick up any more it'z like because I'm with someone else besidez her she hatez me or something I feel mega weird about that. I mean she waz the one who started it by being with Ryan and making me feel like I needed to go meet other people which resulted in me being used primarily for sex and then about raped and raped sighz I suppose I just kept meeting the wrong people which iz why I don't try and involve myself with too many people. Then annoyed just at the awy I have like nothing around here and how people just abuse my areaz and like then annoyed that the VCR i waz using to watch my moviez iz gone and I have nao fawking clue where it went to which more than likely meanz I'll have to buy another one if I want one and that'z honestly not fair to me. mmm gave Cinnamon a bath tonite hopefully that'll help with the fleaz I am so sick of being bitten again and again by the fawking parasitez.mmm doeznt feel so grrreat tonite damn Heath'z body. mrow still waiting to see if Will'll find that damned poem from like agez ago wantz it because eih I could write one on my own but uhm shyeah it wouldn't have the magical essence of how I felt about that wayyy bak then and if i had the aprt he started it'd b more nostalgic and more explanable more than likely mrow. I'm a bit bored and I think I pissed Matt off by the fact that I wazn't going to leave anyone for him lmfao I waz like uhm nao? I mean I like talking to you and hanging around you but uhm after that nao? lol mrow eih can subside with the flirting thing but I honestly just like messing around with people mrow sighz tired too didn't sleep very well last nite damned drugz that won't let me sleep. hmm read Tascha'z diary it'z making me wonder if she went bak to being bi by the way she waz talking about Joe. Eih I think I lost my concept of being that way even tho i still have mmeoriez of being with Melissa but I can't remember everything about it to b honest ohhhh wellz nothing major.mmm downloading stuff again mrow hopefully itll actually werk tonite sighz i guess thatz really about it for now

laterZ

how the hell?

What type of Disney Fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

gothy guy of me lmfao

Which sexy boy are you
brought to you by Quizilla

moi morbidness

Which Return of the Living Dead Character Are You???
brought to you by Quizilla

Edgy

Do you really about me care

Or do you use me to make others mouths water and eyes pop out like women do with the fur coats they wear

I don't believe you care

No not any longer

and why should i?

I'm involved with a whoremonger

Living in a pig sty

That I no longer want to fix up

Because the empty promises are still sitting flat here in my bland diet sodaz cup

You hate my silliness telling me tos it down be quiet and shut up

Excuse me on your precious newly wed bliss I didn't mean to create chaos or disrupt

But then many compare me to Hagle because of my urgency to interupt

Never on purpose

Break me down to the surface

Date me hate me Go ahead and desecrate me

Toy with me Enjoy me Go ahead and destroy me

Im sick of all your competition

Looking at my face and name in insignificant repetition

i mean nothing except a prize doormat

Sexy lil hellcat

You think you know me so damned well

You don't know me one bit at all

And neither do I such a pathetic storytale

Lock me up in the closet down the middle corridor hall

Think what you like but damnit I'm through

Confused more than ever I'm leaving you

Gotta get away

Away from Z

Living on the edge of revolution Z

Stripper ads poppin in my head

From the edge of vertigo

I am living

Living on the edge

No longer will I be your crimson ruby red lipped barhopping outlaw girly on the highest fence

Push me over when you say you can't but really wont and ask me what's the difference?

Dykez

See that girl she looks so hideous

She's got a saggy ass vagina

I know you can't help but want to laugh in pity

But a whore like that's nothing to be so generous as for to feel sorry

She came over and told me I had fucked up hair while we were sitting at the bar drinking pina coladas

She was there with her girlfriend they're both such dykes

Bitch take a hike

I hypnotically stare and with my x-ray vision it's the same as using bitch repelent because in a second poof she's gone! ta-da!

Good riddance crack ho

Down to the corner both of you go

Hoping to find a lesbian that's dumb enough to pay the two dollars

It costs to have both of you swallow

All of her yummy cum

You're dyke princess trying to run away without fulfilling her duty as she screams ewwwww

As the white sticky substance fills her ugly mouth

Two dyke hookers on the prowl

Go whine to my asshole ex boyfriend how the slums aren't doing so well and people are too cheap to pay the dollar it costs to have you spread your legs

He says you know your my bitch so have no fear in my hoodlum whore house you may become a reg

I can't help but sit here on this bar stool And laugh at the stupid fucked up fools

The dyke with the sagging meow meow used to call me a skank

Who's the skank now

Having to go down

On a spineless diseased malewhore

Because no one else you're able to afford

With your one dollar fee

You're so rancid you smell like pee

Bitch told me I can't sing

But here I am on stage with a guitar in my hands

Looking at your sorry ass legs wrapped around my horny bow wow ex I can't help but start laughing

As I start this song up your eyes pop out and his dick in your ragged cunt starts to brand

I turn my head and smile as I look at my best friend on the other lead as my mouth is two inches above the microphone

I stole your cellphone

Can't wait for this gig to be done we're going to drag your asses down the alley and crush your bones

While smashing instruments over your heads and cut off multiple body parts

Smirking because secretly we're stoned

STAB STAB STAB

DIMINISH THAT DYKE

Using a switchblade to strike

Cutting off your pussy first

Laughing to the point I think my oxygens gonna burst

KILL KILL KILL

Gonna knock you out

Blaring the Donnas all the way along with No Doubt

As we drive away from the scene

To California to do the same to your ugly ass dictatin boy toys with a labotomy

We already did your hysterectamy

You'll die because we took out your liver and its sitting inside a bucket with some ice

Picking up the cuties as we sail along

Cutting off some more dongs

Shoving it in their mouths taste what you did

Shutting the lid

Driving off into the sunset in our Convertible Mustang

I'm not throwing myself at everything with balls and a dick but being with the male perfection sure is a smashing change

Dummy

I'm frustrated I'm aggravated I'm cut throated and castrated I'm basted and well marinated Tasty as can be I'm a member of riot girls incorporated Oh wont you lick my pussy please

I'm so tired of being this dummy Kiss my tummy To make it all better when it hurts But this time you can't because you kicked me out and turned on the intruder alert OUT OUT OUT YOU TOLD ME TO GET THE FUCK OUT DON'T COME BACK EVER LITTLE GIRL THIS IS THE ANSWER FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES THERE TO HAVE A PERFECT WORLD BECAUSE YOUVE PRODDED AND PRICKED MY FINGERS UPON THE SPINNING WHEEL COLDLY NUMB I'M A STREET URCHIN WHO HAS LEARNED TO STEAL

Maybe I'll learn to become a first class hooker No I don't think so I wouldn't sell my body in the red lighted street to your husband who's so crooked I lived for you and instead you threw me away and took her THE FUCKING PROSTITUTE WITH A SAGGIN PUSSY AND A BLOND BIMBO WHO'S STUPID! fuck me fuck me fuck me drowning inside a sea a sea of scallywags I wear clothes including the price tag Only to take it all back in the sales bag

Chorus

You taught every scandalous trick in the book The book of fallacy there is to know I'll wear your pearls I'll wear your diamonds just let me inside for a look YOU DID THIS ALL TO ME YOU KNOW just to own my freedom that's drifting away from me so slow as I die more and more from living in the poverty of the homeless that thanks to the haughty greedy bitches like you who take away everything we could have we're unfortunately poor dying weakly into a heap of nothing I soon grow time is the only way of the dreamers spawn I will live on FUCK YOU WHORE

Chorus

You have one goal left That's to snatch away all my dreams by breaking them and stealing them away with pornographic theft You have the tool of blackmail HANG ME UP AND CRUCIFY MY BODY WITH NAILS Marijuna my preference of drug to inhale Trip me up on some xtc That's the only way I orgasm directly KILL ME I SAID KILL ME THROW IT ALL INTO THE DUMPSTER THE ONE I SLEPT IN LAST NIGHT WHEN I GOT THE MUNCHIES Now with this ounce of hemlock So make sure to drill holes into my casket and permanently padlock my grave away so no one can see it no matter what the day you might as well go ahead since you're making me leave the only ones ive ever known to care no things won't be okay people won't accept me and most of all the ones I love will never again be there

Dimension

Caught between the two dimensions of eternal worlds, stuck in the dark depths of

Hades undergrounds

Held captive exactly like the Goddess

Persephone was held in the realm of the death's mound

A changeling who's deeds are unsure of so lost in the black hole is where my soul shall remain

Stripped from my exterior epidermis that it could no longer contain

The painstaking, heart throb that every day seemed to bring

Abandoned from my pure insignificance

Released from my status of having no importance

Relieved from a place of judging eyes that pinned me down to being the demon queen

No longer having any type of outer appearance, no means to any longer be ignored or invisibly unseen

A strange feeling succumbs to take over my soul

As you look at me a bizarre sensation seeks control

What exactly could this feeling be that solely confuses

Are you just merely another woodsman who has come to trick me sheerly for their own amusement paying the excuse?

Haunted as an artist of the muses

My talent's slowly beginning to drain and my central point of view is the outlook I'm going to lose

Fighting your battling protection against myself what's the use

I'm still unable to tell if your effort is true

I can't fight the passion that bites into each vein and pore

Every time you come closer to touching my bodiless soul's core

I'm afraid to let you get too near

Losing my enabling defenses to you is the thing I fear

The devil licking his lips at my misery

You licking your lips at my naked flesh

Wondering if this whole thing is just a theory of conspiracy

Wondering why my scary disposition has you held at such a captivating interest

You graze the skin between my collarbone and neck

I try and cry out in protest

But stopping the sexual process you've already started is too late, there's no way of turning back no matter what my attempt

My struggling limbs going limp

As you kiss me in different spots again and again

My time with you growing thin

I hope you'll fight for me though as you swear you are the bravest of men

Escaping into your rapturous sin

Dizzy from anticipation my head starts to spin

Staring at your devilish grin

Once again contemplating what you're after of mine to grab

I can't say no so whatever it is I'm sure by now you have it

That same sad nature

Making me want to believe your my savior

Like a blind parade of spirits

Consumed by religion

You can't wait til you have me in my most defenseless position

When the feeling scorches down to one solitary hue

The swiftness of longing

Burning and melting into one another

It's a game our mouths play

All at one tempo together

You can believe we were never taught it

We've known it forever

I can almost hear your voice echo

When I hear the howling wind blow

Is it just my imagination

Feeling your aura in this trembling sensation

Are we two figments of evolution

A pair of liberals of retribution

Are you a soul of rapturous angels

Or do you come to me with the fury of the devil?

A fiery little rebel

Is what I am consisted

Trying my hardest not to have to depend on you for coexistence

But there's no choice, no field of resistance

Comparing diamonds to your eyes doesn't give them enough justice

In their deep dark brown depths I'm lost to the end of their dimensions

I'm now your prisoner

And you own my lost soul

So am I really lost

Flirting with me like an insect flimsily sucking the nectar of a flower like a tiny little moth

Disappointed

hmmm can't remember if I've put thiz song up on the journal before or not I can't remember putting it on here I Know I had it az my AiM info for a bit and I had it on my Silverfame profile'z quote the thing I oftenly like to change ;p anyayz thiz iz by Ivy I just really love thiz song I got the band Ivy when i used to download junk off of audiogalaxy and waz downloading stuff by Lush and it waz a reccomendation

Baby for the first time I'm falling, falling for the last time. Half dead on the inside Feels like nothing's left at all Half smile on the outside Then its gone

I could never be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave you disappointed. I could never be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave you disappointed.

Could it be that this time We're just longing, longing for the first time It's been such a long ride Now we're slipping back again No matter how we try to pretend

I could never be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave you disappointed. I could never be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave you disappointed. I could never see what you wanted from me. All you're gonna be is disappointed. I could never be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave you disappointed

dl'z take too damned long
why doez it have to take so fawking long to download music off of kazaa? it'z so annoying! mrow eih izh quite happy right now besidez the massive amount of time it'll take to have everything I have on the list thingy to download trying to get all the stuff by Snake River Conspiracy downloaded and stuff by Bjork and Slowdive downloaded so I can make cdz out of'em ohhh yesh there'z actually one song by Jack Off Jill I never downloaded must go look at the big black scar site and find out the exact name something media c forget it exactly hmm. mrow izh quite happy tonite talked to Josh finally and figured out what had been going on he wazn't really mad at me for anything he just felt that I waz being too vague for him and he wanted to know me more deeply and I'm mega sorry for the way I've been but I've been extremely afraid to b open of myself for a while now mrow for one thing I'm alwayz afraid that it'z really not love and that it'z just going to end up az of everything else doez and then again i feel like most people can do better than me but hmm he makez me feel mega special and like that I'm honestly good enough for anyone kinda scary but yesh thatz the way I feel around him I love him to death and nao I would NEVER lie about the emotionz I have for someone eih I lied about loving someone one time and it waz only because they wouldn't leave me the hell alone where they were completely obsessed with me and creepily just waz honestly incredibly infatuated with me not in love with me. I think maybe more in love with the idea of being loved and in love because of the way I'm pure and true to what I do feel about a person and bak then I wazn't completely fawked up just yet and I still had a bit of myself left to give and could act normal az an every day thing. It'z gotten a bit harder for me I need to werk on getting bak to being that way drugz or nao drugz I can't let it rule my life I have to remember just to ignore the weird feelingz I get. Shyeah anyayz, if I really didn't love someone I would say it very hesitantly and not adoringly and you wouldn't hear it more than once and I'd act mega afraid after hearing you tell me it too if I really didn't feel anything for you and more than likely would go into hiding because I wouldn't want to have to face you. But I really did fall in love with Josh I prolly love him more than I've ever loved anyone and I've never been open with anyone else like i am him more than likely in the past I would have just let the person go if I were about to lose them because I wouldn't know what to say or how to express myself in an open manner because I usually don't have that in a relationship. I haven't alwayz even honestly had it fully with Melissa ;/ mrow yesh he'z prolly the first person I've ever felt like thiz great around and nothingz ever perfect so I need to stop worrying over that. mrow sighz all I know izh I seriously love him and don't want to lose him and would do anything I could to keep him. And I know he thinkz that I could do better or whatnot and even if I could I don't want to I want to have him. I don't let myself get thiz close to many people so obviously I find him special mrow thatz one thing that not just anyone ever getz with me any more I'm usually very closed off and withdrawn mrow I think he'z getting rid of that with me which I don't know if that'll werk out for everyone who crossez me or just the people I'm the most closest to who I've kept at a distance the last few monthz. mrow I find it a good thing, I wanted to get bak to the way I used to b at actually saying the way I felt but i never felt like it until lately. lol ya know strange az it iz i think he actually wantz my shrew little personality that sayz just whatever the hell I think which I've never met anyone else who wantz the good and bad partz of me. mrow yesh needz to stop being suicidal tho altho yesh he should feel mega priveleged I haven't done anything bad since I met him and really don't want to any more I'm pretty sure he brought that on me. Because I mean there waz nao way in hell Will ever got that, Melissa never got that either. I'd still want and try to do mega bad thingz even in their presencez.mrow also likez the fact he doezn't want me to b hiz slave nor change for him he just wantz me to b myself and I wazn't being myself fully I waz holding bak a lot of myself. Especially the way I think. hmmm let'z see shyeah Will used to alwayz tell me I don't want a slave but I knew he deep down did thatz why he waz alwayz trying to find people for an asoorted harem mrow. And Melissa alwayz wanted to change me in somewhat in personality and I've never really felt like I could like anything she liked. ya know? itz just alwayz felt like thiz weird competition thing between us ;/ I love her anyayz cause she'z at first my best friend. hmmm but shyeah izh just happy right now. . .

Departure

Hurry it up Jack come bak quick Come on up Before Jill infflictz Her magic spell on you Before she setz the pail on you Before she decidez to impale you Broke yor crown All the way down the hill You've fallen You used to sit on my windowsill That waz until Until. . . . . Jack met hiz Jill Then he forgot all about me And slutty little bitchez like her my handz want to kill And damnable indecisive swine like you I want to dispense frigidly

Amateurz Are the only typez you've ever possessed Didn't give the right amount of credit to her Now did you mister conquered You thought you'd destroy her She turned her head Not letting your lipz fall onto herz I know your kind That thinkz it can find All it needz In the center of a vagina that breedz Guess what? You didn't think smartly When it came to me You had no idea What you wer efacing When you took me on Az your indecent little challenge I still hold you challenge Now that you've left my remainz To decease in the village Of lonely soulz The one that no one but I knowz

You thought you could create damage By not giving into feeding me your package Surprised that I could manage Without feeling your dirty manhood taking advantage Of what liez inbetween Inside of me You never felt what made me Love you Now did you My sad little lackey You know what you Remind me of little wanna-be? I know you want to taste our underworld By finishing off a morbid girl I killed her first So sorry to end thiz learn Goez without saying Blood iz the consquence you're paying

Chorus

So many people for a girl to hate You take all of their placez With just one little instance And I hate the sight of your face Can't stand to think of those haunting eyez That follow me into the eternity Of sleepless dreamz That wake me in the middle of dawn with penetrating screamz Your body'z only good for stabbing Your handz only good for puncturing Your lipz only good for lying Your flesh only good for cutting Your mind only serperatez us into hating I'm no longer playing Into the handz of your torture NAO NAO MORE EXPOSURE! All you ever wanted waz to feel sexual composure Forget it For all I care go fuck the furniture I don't want to live with it The agony of departure

Chorus

Come here my little dragon I need you to kiss me I need the practice The feeling of insensitivity To spread through the opening Of menz lipz You all deserve it from me I've had quite futile experience In loving A sympathy none of you can show me No allure for more than one night doezn't know me Might last a few weekz Am I right my dark beauty? Skin so pale of ivory I know what liez under those kissez You'll never look at me fully Courage unresistable Don't unblindfold me I don't want you to see me I don't want to hear you say you love me Because I know you'll take it away from me Leaving me Abandoning me Letting the loneliness attack me Don't want me Please don't tell me Anything you want from me Just let me pass by without saying a word to me Can you do that for me I've got your pail of water Let me go unattached and you can do whatever you want with her

Fondling

Heiy you If you Don't want me Then tell me Stop pretending What are you proving I know you don't own chivalry Your heartz alwayz been shriveling Rayz of violet shrinking Crimson air shrieking And miserable entitiez like you I'm despising I won't b responsible for owning Any part in thiz Stop it I don't want your anasthetic numbing Don't come near me! I've decided I'm changing I'm no longer laying Beneath these dirty sheetz Of milez of skin undergone plastic surgery

You know who it belongz to Not me I no longer love you You dragged it out of me Doez it make you Belated and happy Living with you And only you In dark silence What did I mean to you My once sweet dark prince Did you Ever think about me Or were you Az I'm used to lying Tell me if you Were only playing Around with me Come off it See the knife If you don't start talking I'm going to drop it Into your laughing diseased fondling

I loved you deeper than I can ever express You used it against my will I hate you what can you expect When you turned me into a vision invisible Just because I waz imperfect And I know all about it Thiz iz a warning That yes iz concerning What happened Tell me all about it Before I break it Before I break her Before I mutilate it Before I mutilate her I've been dying to hurt her Did you see it? No never You weren't looking at it Looking at her

Chorus

You have only eight hourz left Until I'll slice off your head Shop of horrible little petz All belonging to you Parasitez crawling on you Biting you Kissing you All thingz you Don't want from me Not good enough for you Not taste worthy Adequate enough to satisfy you I still stupidly love you Why do I enact my feelingz to the point of forgiving you? Screwing me over iz all you do I'm tired of loving you And ending up with nothing from you Except for pain that I don't deserve to feel for you Stop hurting me Or get the hell outside from me

Chorus

I've had other men tell me to beat you For the way you Have been treating me I don't want to Just so you know I'm prepared to I want you to feel thiz The way it feelz to love someone who Wantz nothing to do with you Avoid me all you want You can't stop me from getting to you forever You think you're so fawking clever Think again You're going Down mister pathetic Don't think for one second You're ever going to get it You'll never have it again Time for a prosecution Maybe we'll have a mahn execution Sea of a broken heart That'z what you gave me when you tore my trust apart You didn't give a damn what you were doing When you went out screwing I'm no longer putting up with you So you Can go ahead and leave I no longer care what the fawk you do I should kill you But I won't waste my essence on someone like you TAKE IT DAMN YOU HAVE IT DAMN YOU FAWKING ASS YOU ALREADY DID NOW DIDN'T YOU DON'T YOU DARE FAWKING LIE TO ME I SAW YOU ENTERING AND EXITING AND YOU NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT ME!

Fault

Imprisoned in your broke down palace, your chains and whips hold me hostage to being confined

A cold sweat runs down my weakly trembling spine

I've tried to forget you, but I can't silence the continuous thoughts of you that run through my impetuous mind

Just what next for me do you have in store?

I've heard his sexy, seductive voice and of him I wish to have more

No I don't plan on fulfilling the accompolishment of being his personal little whore

How's that to ease your mind and settle the score?

These words from my lips do take plight and obligingly pour

As fun as the masquerade's been this melodrama of yours is quite a bore

I'm ready to pack my obscene belongings and head out the back door

Beaten to the point I have no more balance or inhibition

I'm crawling on the filthy floor

Please don't call me your daughter

Maybe I'm sinking myself farther into the quicksand, scalding myself in the boiling water

Will it really amount to much?

We've nothing more left to say, I've lost my touch

You hate me for being such a little rebel

You call me a demented little devil

Saying I've become so sadistically satanic

Afraid of the way I've become so impulsively manic Each day you become more fixatedly frantic

You'll stop at nothing

Quick to screw me up with an artificial cure

Anything to turn me into a zombie, that's sweetly demure

You're so smugly sure

That you'll bring me down on my knees

Condemning me for a simple kiss, and doing whatever I please

When you're the slut who laid down with a dog and woke up scratching off fleas

You charge me guilty for the tragic disease

You won't kill me, you just scream get out

What's all that about

Hanging me for being so nastily naughty

I'm not one to sell my body

You've become snobbishly haughty

I can't stand your humilating hypocrisy

I'm sorry I'm the cause of your misery

However I never asked to be born

Confiscated for having a pack of cigarettes and a piece of porn

You hate me for the fact I overdose

But lets look under your surface I know you have lots to expose

The world loves a scandal

i could deviously create a havoc of your secrets you could never handle

Yes I know I've made lots of mistakes

I can see straight through your special effects act it's so fake

Honestly can you tell me you've never made one false move?

I'm sure you would you can cover it all up so smoothly

So what am i trying to prove?

Excuse me for being the conniving little ingrate

Let's get one thing straight

I'm not little miss perfect

I'm merely your dying reject

You yell at me for respect

But you've never given any to me, so from me exactly what do you expect?

Christ forbid don't ruin the future for those God smiles upon

Everything i've done you've always found some con

I'm losing ground

Almost everyone wishes to bring me down

To this silence is your ultimate sound

Your response to everything is I'm an adult

So I guess that makes yours and everyone else's crime fall to being my fault

Play Dead

thiz iz by Bjork gawd shez awesome

Darling stop confusing me

With your wishful thinking

Hopeful embraces

Don't you understand?

I have to go through this

I belong to here where

No-one cares and no-one loves

No light no air to live in

A place called hate

The city of fear

I play dead

It stops the hurting

I play dead

And the hurting stops

It's sometimes just like sleeping

Curling up inside my private tortures

I nestle into pain

Hug suffering

Caress every ache

I play dead,

It stops the hurting

just me or weird
eih waz on my other aohell name that iznt silverfame and if you don't know it yet you have to wait to get to know it all in good time ;p lmfao anyayz i waz looking for people on here that live in kentucky that are into anime and found some black guy mrow sighz now i have some black guy who wantz me what the fawk why am i thinking thiz weird? I know joy who lovez anime who'z black duh Heather! ahhh wellz my mindz not thinking right now and we all fawking know why because i've more than likely bitched to you about it or will b bitching to you about it where im feeling quite undersexed nao damnit i dont mean not having nuff sex i mean that im not desirable and not attractive and then i just feel unwanted and unloved. that and I feel selfish and utterly cruel and i want to die but won't let myself until i find out the truth sighz anyayz id say melissaz going to b teasing me about having a black dude wanting me sighz eih id say other people will tease me about thiz after reading it too. . . .of course I made it known to him that I do have a boiyfriend and thatz about ALL I talked about to him waz how much I missed Josh and how much he prolly doeznt like me and eih how insecure I feel and then I talked to him about Mel and Tascha and Christina shrugZ

Heavenly Creaturez
hmmm just got finished watching Heavenly Creaturez and Pet Shop of Horrorz to b honest I liked Pet Shop of Horrorz best but uhm Heavenly Creaturez iz mega good too. Heavenly Creaturez haz the girl who iz Jacqueline in Ever After in it along with Kate Winslet when they were pretty young they're both mega cute in it but eih I didn't like the ending too well in it lmfao. Kate and her are lesbianz in it! I couldn't believe that one interesting eih lmfao Can see guyz reading thiz now going mmmmmmmm I wanna watch that movie lmfao. eih I like Kate'z role in the QUillz better she seemz to have succeeded more az a better actress in it and the girl from Ever After got a lot prettier in her teen yearz too they still look and act really well in the movie tho mrow definitely reccomendz it. hmmm pet shop of horrorz remindz me eih a bit of Pet Cemetary by Stephen King and then hmmm something else too that I can't think of at the moment mega fawking interesting it had one part of it about Medusa being in the form of a lizard and having the eyez that turned one to stone mega interesting. hmmm though Heavenly Creaturez first off reminded me totally of my relationship with Melissa and made me miss her grrreatly and then the sexual part with the guy uhm made me want someone lmfao. uhm let'z see then there'z a part where they believe instead of in heaven in going to a fourth world that instead of being filled with Christian saintz iz filled with music, artistic, writing saintz just anyone of the artz lmfao. mrow and they had a night where they acted out and basically thought of every way the saintz would make love to them. It made me think of that one night me and Christina sat in here in the living room and discussed each and every person we'd make love and listed them to each other lmfao. I know that list without a doubt haz changed for me. lmfao so eih itz all good. hmmm I saw Will online when I came bak up here from watching Pet Shop of Horrorz he waznt staying online tho but told me to email him cause i wanted to ask him something which waz about that poem of course lmfao. I'm going to b impressed if he still haz that and even more impressed if he actually letz me have it ;p mrow hmmm still iz a bit out of it sighz feelz a bit lonely still ;/ mrow ah wellz. I got to talk to Adam too for a bit who still haz a residual issue with some girl he used to b in love and still iz in love with shrugZ thatz love for ya ;/ mrow anyayz im going to go find whatever to do and wait

laterZ

Strangled

thiz iz by Snake RIver Conspiracy too thiz or Casualty remindz me of me the most

It's just been too long is what they say I show them my mask and they don't know how it's stuck in my head, and it just won't go away I miss it so much How did it come to be I'm living with remains of me and in this lonliness I'll see I could leave you...alone

Now what they say is just stay away mask in my hands, now they all know the closer I get, the more I'm pushed away I wanted so much how did it come to be I'm living with remains of me and in this lonliness I'll see I'm gonna show you I could leave here

to love you to need you to take you down I love you

Now that it's all been seen there's no one left for me to be and in this honesty you'll see I won't leave you!

To love you to need you to take you down I love you I fucking love you I love you I never never lived until you

Coke and Vaseline

also by Snake River Conspiracy

Kansas city blues messing up your head knotted on the bird wishing i was dead shit is only shit running through your brains I'm not the one who lies I'm not the one who dies

feels so empty I'm alright situation's fine (alright alright alright)

shoot your final rounds mariachi flames grafitti demon god praise the great machine the only things we need cocaine and vaseline I'm not the one who lies I'm not the one dies

feels so empty I'm alright situation's fine (alright alright alright) feels so empty I'm alright situation's fine (alright alright alright....)

the christ you thought was dead nazi figure head the heart that we all need holds piss and gasoline I'm not the one who lies I'm not the one who dies

feels so empty I'm alright situation's fine (alright alright alright) feels so empty I'm alright situation's fine (alright alright alright....)

Breed

hmm thiz iz by Snake River Conspiracy just grrreatly reminded me of myself

Spoken like a souvenir Touch all of your childhood fears Keep them at a gentle pace Closer now to feel their heat

Somebody says, Somebody says, Somebody says I love you

All those years you never knew All the things that I could do I keep them in a hidden place So I can rub them in your face

Somebody says, Somebody Says, Somebody says I made you I made you, I made you, I made you.

Breed! Breed on your own! You're always alone You suffering clone.

Maybe you're not good enough Good enough to make me blush So many reasons I can find To kill this little clone of mine I hold your grace Like a broken vase You've been replaced Cuz I made you

Somebody says, Somebody says

Breed! Breed on your own! You're always alone You suffering clone

I made you

Breed, breed on your own You're always alone You suffering clone

Somebody says Somebody says Somebody says I love you

Somebody says Somebody says Somebody says I love you

Lonesome
hmmm I am extremely lonely right now and envying Melissa my mom let me call her on her cellphone waz going to b able to talk for an hour but unlike me Melissa haz a life and waz going to anime club with Elf chick a reminder of Britney Spearz gag gag gag DIE DIE DIE and like uhm Ryand forgotten to pick her up such an annoying prick he iz a guy tho so eih itz expectful ;p mrow sorry in a guy bashing mood shrugZ no onez online nothing to watch on tv guess I'll just go watch my moviez since itz only like nearly seven i think got the Jack off Jill on lol I'm prepared to play trickz on some mere mortalz tonight ;p bwahahahaha I'll catch them off guard and mess with their headz ;p it'll b quite funny when they say crazy stuff to little old me mmm hungry wonder where my strawberry pretzelz are mmm going to go downstairz and watch stuff now itz too damned boring tos tay up here mrow ohhhh one last thing before I go I somehow resisted cutting myself once again I don't think I'm in the mood to push myself into self inflicted pain but if you wanna do it for me I welcome it ;p eih wish Will were on I have another favor to ask him since someone thought my corner thin gwz so gawd damned fawking crazy I want that poem he started if not finished writing about my corner if he didn't finish it I'll finish it myself eih not like we haven't done thiz one before ;p I finished two of hiz songz around thiz time last year for hiz band when he had it shrugZ i'm a grrreat writer I'll admit that one to my grave mrow anyayz

laterZ

Surgery

another song by Jack off Jill that I like mrow my ex Willz learning thiz one on guitar sighz wish I could play guitar so badly ohhh wellz

I can change I can cut it open Look at me the way you did before I can change diagnose the symptom buy the anecdote but not the cure

Hold me under cut away this empty Hold me under change the way I feel about you

I can change I'll correct the defect repair the injury called you and me I can change I'll surrender to it I can suffer with the best of them

Hold me under cut away this empty Hold me under change the way I feel about you

I can't change I'll replace the decay make you second guess your everyday I can't change I'll survey the damage Kill the narcissist with his reflection until tomorrow

Hold me under cut away this empty Hold me under change the way I feel about you Hold me under cut away this empty Hold me under change the way I feel about you

until tomorrow

Blade Markz
not like anyone'z going to give a flying damned fawking care but I have the feeling by tomorrow morning I'm going to have some nice deep markz on my body I'm sick of the way thingz are and I'm sick of feeling like thiz and if you don't see me again you know what happened not like anyone but Melissa, Tascha, Christina, and Julie will honestly care since they're the only people who really are ALWAYZ there for me nao matter what sighz i feel like shit im leaving now dont expect anything from anyone heath remember that forever my darling

French Kiss the Elderly

for those who I told about thiz song

I'm not so pretty now They're filthy next to me I'm staring at myself in family therapy

I'm dying day by day But no one cries for me They'd rather slit their wrist Than french kiss the elderly

Don't shoot Don't shoot Don't shoot Don't shoot

On the day we broke you made the On the day that we die On the day we broke You made the whole world

Stop it you're hurting me Stop it you're hurting me Stop it you're hurting me Stop it

I'm sitting quietly in gothic sympathy I try to cut myself But they won't watch me bleed

They do not understand They are afraid of me They'd rather shoot themselves Than french kiss the elderly

Don't shoot Don't shoot Don't shoot Don't shoot

On the day we broke you made the On the day that we die On the day we broke You made the whole world

Stop it you're hurting me Stop it you're hurting me Stop it you're hurting me Stop it

I'm sitting pretty now with filthy next to me I have two tumored hands and a diseased body

Come on let's kill ourselves Than french kiss the elderly (Please don't hurt me Don't don't hurt Don't shoot)

On the day we broke you made the On the day that we die On the day we broke You made the whole world

Stop it No Stop it you're hurting me Stop it you're hurting me Stop it Don't Don't you Don't you fucking touch me Don't touch me

Burglar

I cant love the species of men

Hurt by you once again

The truth finally came out all around

No more comforting lie in for you or I to drown

Just because I know what you felt now can never make it all better

You deserve true love Heather

Completely better

Than some fake deceptive wanna-be thug

Kisses and hugs

Can feel really nice

Cutting myself with the knife

Another inch another slice

Don't think twice

Of men and of mice

Lady luck throw the dice

I'll cut you down to size I'll brand you by your kinky dick

Show you you aren't slick

Cheap trick

that's all i was

a banter to have to play with emotionally

I hope someone does the same

I want you to know how it feels to have your emotionz played with

Pulling the trigger with all my grip

I want to pierce my tongue and lip

Be the greatest punk

Off of redrum get drunk

Drunk enough to murder

A heart burglar

Who will never again own my soul

Skeleton of a man go die in the deepest darkest stars whole

Your dick will never again be shoved into my pussy's hole

She likes to kiss I'd rather fuck

Lick me and on my tongue suck

Only I no longer want anything to do with you

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

WE'RE THROUGH

You're a bad habit I need to kick and lose

Feet don't fail me now

I have yards to run and you must allow

Me without any man to reach forever

Arrest

Superficial little wanna be freak You led me on so to speak You were too afraid to go through with having me because you were afraid of what your friends would say you're so fucking weak I laugh as I see my name dazzling in lights as you go from whore to whore on your worse losing streak Turning you down as you lure all the little virgin whores into bed through the ebony skies you can hear their high pierced shrieks The blood from their nasty cunts that have never been touched seep and leak You should invest in a glucoma vision I've waited and wanted you so long The day will come when this bitchy little cast away proves you wrong

FUCK MEN FUCK MEN DIE DIE DIE ALL YOU DO IS VIOLATE WOMEN INJECTING YOUR SEMEN PAY THE PRICE TO THE DEMON QUEEN I NO LONGER GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU'RE THINKING GIVE ME ALL YOUR DRUGS I AM THE DRUG FIEND GO FIND SOME OTHER WHORE TO USE PRIMARILY FOR FUCKING!

You can talk and give rides to my baby sister You drive a hard bargain mister But guess what through the raging suns metamorphis there's been a transister Down a bottle of lysterine Just to get the alcohol percent through water crystal clear aquamarine I want to rip out your kidneys and spleen When I put you down to sleep Maybe dismember that manhood of yours too YES NO MORE FUCKING

Chorus

No more fucking around with me You've already done enough damage with your messing Windowpane dressing Is the only thing That you're out for looking You don't care about what lies underneath Sex should be entirely brief This is your egotistical minds dilemma I fuck like a tiger I'm even better than Simba

Chorus

Screw your nasty too young ass I HOPE YOU HAVE A CAR CRASH why does all of male kind think dick into a nice fresh pussy is the answer? I hope your turn black with cancer MOTHER FUCKER I WON'T MASTURBATE YOUR FLESH LOLLY POP SUCKER PUCKER UP BECAUSE THIS REAL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT BODY PERFECT FREAK IS GOING TO TELL YOU WHERE TO SHOVE IT UP YOURE THE REASON SO MANY RIGHTOUS BABES ARE FUCKED UP STUCK UP YOUR OWN CONCEITED ASSHOLE OUT OF CONTROL Watch me dance this pole Lick your lips because you find me just as attractive as any ho but NO I WONT LET YOU TOUCH YOU COULD HAVE TOUCHED THIS PRETTY PIECE OF FLESH BUT I WASNT A GOOD ENOUGH CATCH NOW HERE FROM THE GLITTER BITCH RIOT GIRLS IS THE WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST

Dual

hmm forgot Deenz letting me download an episode of Dual from him I love thiz anime Melissa and I watched it long ago she sayz I'm Mitske and then a lot of the time Asuka from Eva cause I'm temperamental and strong willed ;p mrow eih that and then Julie emailed me today mrow waz happy about that she told me that I should NEVER like make another guy suffer for an ex boiyfriendz mistakez with me but to b a little more careful eih what the hell I'll post what she said to me ;p

Everyone has fucked up stuff in their life. SOme have more, some have less. I went out with a guy who told me for 2 years that I was worthless, annoying and other sweet things. Then he told my mom I was a slut (while HE was cheating on ME). Julie before him: thought the party started when I got there... Julie now: ask steve sometime how many times i need to be told I'M not reatrded. Heh. I'm getting better at it, now it's more like a reflex or something. But it took months and a whole lot of stupid shit I was doing to realize he was an ass after I had left him. Anyways. I guess I'm just saying that, when I did meet someone else after, I had to refind out what "Normal" is in a relationship. And that I'm still finding out years later. You'll get distance from April and all the bs you went through and this guy seems like he'll stick around to find out how that goes for you... =) And well, never ever make a guy pay for other guys' mistakes, that is just not fair, be always a little more careful but not so much they get strangled by your care =)... I don't even know if I'm making sense. I should not psychoanalyse ppl but I suppose it's easier to say something about other ppl's lives than my own. Hehe.

mrow gawd shez so right about that and I really do love Josh I hope he knowz that ;/ eih I feel terrible about the way I made him treat me yesterday I've been beating myself up ever since last nite ;/ ugh i think someone'z talking about me my earz are burning. yesh I'm quite superstitious and crazy. mmm I gotta get my Sevendust ticket tomorrow since me and Brian are going up there on Tuesday lol he told me the rulez of being in hiz car nao smoking, nao drinking alcohol. he pickz the music, and nao attacking the driver. shhh izh going to touch the driver to freak him out and maybe just to make him hurt me lmfao mrow i need to find someone to inflict pain on me since I really don't want to do it myself and break a promise to myself that I wouldn't hurt myself because of Josh sighz mrow shrugZ I suck!!! sighz iz a bit depressed going to go now

laterZ

Longing
eih I feel like crap again tonight I feel totally undersexed can we unsex me and devoid me of all emotion like Lady Macbeth tried to get? please? please? please? Hecuba dear you can have me. mrow I talked to my sweet sexy Mewissa doo earlier with the way I've been feeling so naturally unwanted lately by men around thiz nice little hell hole I'm really thinking of leaving and getting out of hell again and going bak to Melz for a while I just feel so unloved today. mrow sighZ I miss Josh and he probably HATEZ me with the way I'm feeling lately sighz miss playing with him a LOT. mrow i just feel so fawked up tonight maybe itz the medication that keepz me on thiz downward spiraling roller coaster of magdalena mrow I'm about to go bak downstairz and start listening to sad sappy love songz that remind me of people such az listening to Poe makez me feel. mrow like Trigger Happy Jack, That Day, Angry Johnny, Wild, Haunted, Control. Heiy Pretty, Not A Virgin, uhm the Cranberriez Liar and How Garbage I can't seem to make you Mine, Lick the Paveemnt, 13 x Forever, Happiness, Confidence, You Look So Fine, Special, Cherry Lipz, Nobody Lovez You, uhm Kittie Paperdoll anything by Natalie Imbruglia no doubt etc. and up here I listen to Jack off Jill a lot. sighZ I just wish I KNEW that I waz attractive to the people I love and then i wish i knew for certain they DO love me why can't either thing b proven? mrow I feel like dying and how I've gotten past not cutting myself I have nao fawking clue sighZ again fawk it all to hell.

Rapid

Come on say her name again I need to hear you say it I know you're thinking it Stop your god damned lying I know you better than you want to go on believing And I'm seeing through that heart of yourz that keepz on worshiping True physical beauty And your tonguez been telling me falsitiez When you keep on breathing Out the wordz that she meanz nothing I know better damnit So don't even try to keep on denying The truth that in your handz you forcibly stray condemning Who do you think you're fooling? I can see the ten inchez of slobber you were drooling Down her armz Down her legz Down her form Down her lipz during sex

You think you can hide your erection in the grass Make it disappear in the weedz Just another sensation to grab Push it all the way in Bury the seed So quickly And don't believe yourself to think I'm the one you're compelling Because it'z not me No dear I'm not that easy And I won't give you myself that rapidly Throwing myself into the chilling rapidz Of your embrace And your ideaz have grown to b so vapid Shallow poolz left to integrate And my remaining innocence you'll never unwrap it You don't understand it'z underlined elegance I want to show you through crooked teeth I want to break you into a billion piecez You fawking hypocritical sniper You insipid breast sucking whiner And my brilliance couldn't have shone any brighter You looked straight past it Just to watch her schmack it

Why are you so versatile Why do you have to talk about every hot chick while My presence iz surrounding You and your suckling And you have no guilt Of how bad you make my emotionz to yourz wield And I'm sick of it Sick of living In thiz impossible lie Of your sinew Do you have any ideal scrutiny how your hostility Crucifiez me to the point I cry? Tearz manifested of ink blackening To become dimmer than the sky in the shade of ebony Beauty of a star I'm lacking And I can't go on feeling The darkening of forbidding Me to consult my ending My soul'z shattering You don't see it underneath my sugar coating

Chorus

I iwsh to know Everything you know I wish to blow My brainz out Stick the ammunition in my mouth I'm not afraid See you don't see thingz So clearly az me You don't know how to resist my insanity I do I know the trick to escaping All I have to do iz take myself bak into the warping Feudalist system A place we've never been Never gone to before Except when escaping from satan'z door Into the bakground Where in hiz love I squealingly drowned

Chorus

I want it I want you so much Do you want it Or are you just wanting too much Desiring the lust entirely too much To look at me And say no fairly No I knew you wouldn't answer me You're too scared Too tell the truth When it all comez down to being bared You'd lie in my midst wouldn't you I see it in your cheekz I see it in the way you won't look at me I won't help it that I'm not pretty Not gorgeous enough To keep your premium horny drive lusting I can't keep on kissing Those lipz If nothing Iz what you're going to give Back to my impurity And my passion from you iz suffocating But I can throw it away I can stop coming Just you watch me turn away If you say that name IF YOU SAY IT ONE MORE FAWKING TIME IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE FAWKING PROMISE AND YOU DON'T KEEP IT THIZ TIME I MEAN IT DON'T YOU DARE FAWKING THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PUSH ME TO FALL IN LOVE FOR THE REST OF TIME I'LL COME INSIDE AND LEAVE YOUR SHEER BEAUTY IF YOUR LIPZ LICK HER INSIDE WITH YOUR HANDZ OPEN WIDE TOUCHING HER FLESH AND NOT MINE

Hellbound

wrote thiz about myself and the way I feel about the world so nao one take it personally i waz just extremely pissed off at the way thingz constantly are bite me ;/

You think you know what it feelz like To step inside of me You have no idea what to set your sightz On when your insidez are thiz empty And you want to play the game Of being high day after day Come inside and I'll let you play I don't encourage doing what I say You don't want to feel thiz way You don't want to b thiz unhappy You don't want to feel thiz strange Like you've never known yourself Like you've never been kissed except when you're the only thing left And you've still got what it takez To step around the blame Of hating yourself Of resenting yourself You don't need to hurt yourself

Experienced in thiz division I watch myself on television My brain iz on drugz Running through my veinz Running through my blood Tearz straying All the way down my face All the way down the armz Of the frustrating chair Falling to the floor Nothing good will come out of me my dear I don't play fair I'm unfair I want to hurt myself more Just to show you what liez under the starz layerz Just to let you feel the war Your mind will struggle with for forever Wanting her kissez forever Never being able to forget her Iz that what you want I'd take her away but I can't live with that guilt

Guilty az charged To your will I'm obliged Insanity enlarged Electricity on my fingertipz unplugged Sentence discharged I want to endure evil You won't let me feel evil Animated and illuminating Self destruction a problem I'm creating And I won't let you go on contemplating Wayz you think I'm amusing I'm being serious You weren't listening To my version Now were you That'z why you thought I said it on purpose

Chorus

You don't believe me No one ever really doez Chain smoking In the office And you're not looking at me You don't care about me You just want to use me To have a good time Until midnight Then it'll be over And thingz will b exactly the same Lonely and alone with her No one wants her I'm sick of her I'm soon going to lose her You'll never miss her Don't say you will Just admit it You DON'T need her!

Chorus

Such an interesting fibber Give her Your number Tell her to use it Don't you dare let her lose it You don't really want to hear from her You're just making it up You just want to cum on her Lick it up Don't you dare stop her Feelz good Doezn't it mister Such a nice come on I can't go on Not like thiz I've already misused it I've already unscrewed it And I'm taking off the lid The cap labeled poison And I'm going to drown my lipz in it You're not going to get me to rethink it So don't even try it Just let me give in I'm already finishing And we both know you're only caring About getting To feel orgasmic And I'm manufactured from plastic Or ragz iz that it? Why don't you tell me it So I'll know it Know what to do with it When I'm biting down When I'm falling down When I'm diving down Into hell'z boundz

sad pathetic me
I feel like shit right now I feel like such a fawking dumb little whorific bitch if you shoot me I'll fawking pay you. Ever get to that distant feeling deep down inside when you feel like nao one at all wantz you and you're wasting your time trying with anyone? I've reached that point with myself and I'm so fawking sick of myself and sick of everyone wanting to know what I'm thinking at every fawking second you really don't want to know the fawking elusive thoughtz that go on in there that just make me feel wild and crazy and sadistic. and I feel terrible I dunno just feel like I more than likely pissed Josh off by joking around with Phillip or eih maybe I'm just taking it personally from how shitty the night went after a while. mrow you tell me? ya know? I have nao fawking clue but if it waz from me teasing him I waz only playing around I swear I didn't mean anything at all. he should know that I seriously love him. sighZ i just feel like a complete itidot cause I never know what to fawking feel. I'm going to go french kiss the elderly or the unwanted pillowz now fawk me to hell

laterZ

ahhhh hyper
mrow I am so damned hyper tonight waiting to go out with the cutie wearing very scary stuff I actually have on fishnet stockingz LMFAO that and a beaded skirt with flowerz on it thatz velvet burgandy a velvet burdandy shirt kinda low cut purple barrettez make up mary jane shoez uhm anything im missing ohhhh wellz. uhm shyeah me and thiz guy Benji who livez in Lexington and me had thiz kinda deep convo last night about him and hiz depressed girlfriend who sounded a lot like me where she pushez him away and izh just like scared to get too close to him and just that she wantz to die all the time and feelz guilty for pushing herself on to him and making him put up and deal with the way she iz. I feel mega guilty for the way I am and pushing it on to Josh mrow I'd say one day he'll get like Will got with me and just get mega fawking tired of it and leave me thatz why I'm so afraid of getting attached to anyone cause I know after a while they won't b able to put up with me ya know? sighZ I'm such a dong wish that I could b a better person I know I have a grrreat personality but when I get drepssed that kinda justdisappearz and I feel awful sighz wish i could get rid of that side of me. . .

exhausted or something
mrow I must have been like mega exhausted today or something I slept longer than I have in a long ass time I actually slept off and on from like five thiz morning to almost six thiz evening scary eih? My mom bitched at me when I got up calling me lazy shyeah and I'm supposed to b doing what? I know I Needed to get up to go get my ticket and Cinnamon flea junk from the vet where he still haz'em and then like go take my check to the bank but hell I can do that all tomorrow it'z not like she'z werking til like Sunday? so what doez she care what i do? savez less time that she haz to b around me. Other than that let'z see noticed that my TLC cd'z have magically disappeared, uhm watched tv for a bit listened to No Doubt a lot more and listening to Lush again right now lovez thiz British band. Uhm waiting to get to talk to Josh talking to Stephen got to say good night to Adam and got to talk to him for a few minutez last night that'z pretty fawking kewl I'm a bit worried about him tho he seemz kinda forlorn to me. mrow doezn't like seeing kewl people sad. hmm let'z see I've now read twenty five pagez of Don Juan really really likez that book very quite interesting. hmmm wonderz who just imed her. . . ..aohell im. . . .aha it'z Matt. he'z a kewl musician wish I lived closer to him so I could make him teach me to play guitar ;p hmm not really sure what to talk about with him right now. . .ohhh yesh yeah I do. ask about hiz tattooz he waz going to get done. hmm he'z listening to Carcass interesting band reminder to self need to download Crazytown and Saliva. mmm ohhh yeah I got to see a picture of Kay last night she'z so pretty she and her boiyfriend look like famous people in the pic she gave me where it'z from homecoming. Hmm Stephenz ignoring me screw him! lol. ohhh yeah I haven't talked to Julie like online online lately so we've been emailing each other mrow kinda happy that she actually wrote me bak ;p konkrha intersting sounding band remindz me kind of Elhandarha lmfao. mrow I guess that'z it for now

laterZ

Allergic to Slutz

Ugh actually had Moni talk to her tonite yuk shez such a slut i guess thatz why i call her bitchoni itz in the convo i had with joykinZ guess ill just post it ;p

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Hi Heather.

PoisonIvySphinx: hewwo Joykinz

PoisonIvySphinx: what ya doing

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Nothing much, and you?

PoisonIvySphinx: nothing really just wondering where my bf went off to

PoisonIvySphinx: and wanting to kill the compuker

PoisonIvySphinx: listening to lush

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Awww. Heh, so how is the relationship?

PoisonIvySphinx: mmm itz pretty good

PoisonIvySphinx: unless there are hidden thingz i dont know about lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol.

PoisonIvySphinx: mrow

PoisonIvySphinx: what have you been up to joykinz

PoisonIvySphinx: howz college you bad campus woman

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol, college could be worse. That pretty much sums it up.

PoisonIvySphinx: i saw a gundam in the dorm territory

oOLadyMaxwellOo: LOL!

PoisonIvySphinx: thiz dude with nao clothez on waz like ripping at the door and screaming trying to get out and there waz thiz girl that looked like you that waz strapping him down for some love making

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Yes . . . I still have a relationship with Duo. He's my fuck buddy.

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

oOLadyMaxwellOo: LOL!

oOLadyMaxwellOo: That's me. I love being in control.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Hehe.

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

PoisonIvySphinx: waz that Roger?

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Naw, just some dude who looked exactly like Duo Maxwell, so I decided to kidnap and rape him. Lol.

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

PoisonIvySphinx: maybe it waz Sean Maxwell ;p

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Maybe not! ;p

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

PoisonIvySphinx: maybe so

PoisonIvySphinx: guess who bugged me today

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Who?

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Ah, Monika?

PoisonIvySphinx: yep bitchoni

PoisonIvySphinx: she had to ask me

oOLadyMaxwellOo: And bitchoni's in love it snagglepuss again.

PoisonIvySphinx: how do you add someone to your buddy list?

PoisonIvySphinx: LMFAO

PoisonIvySphinx: ive heard ive heard

PoisonIvySphinx: snagglepussykinz and bitchoni

PoisonIvySphinx: yukkkkkk

oOLadyMaxwellOo: I know. Ew.

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

PoisonIvySphinx: yesh

PoisonIvySphinx: she wanted to know if me and will still talked

PoisonIvySphinx: why the hell she carez i dunno

PoisonIvySphinx: then who else i talked to still

PoisonIvySphinx: i said you

PoisonIvySphinx: jill

PoisonIvySphinx: gaia

PoisonIvySphinx: katie

PoisonIvySphinx: kay

PoisonIvySphinx: people she didnt know of course

oOLadyMaxwellOo: LOL!

PoisonIvySphinx: and then she waz like oh so you dont talk to melissa?

PoisonIvySphinx: im like melissa doeznt come online

PoisonIvySphinx: why not

PoisonIvySphinx: nao phone? nao aohell?

PoisonIvySphinx: shez like oh

PoisonIvySphinx: i waz like me and will are only friendz

PoisonIvySphinx: and me and melissa are just friendz

PoisonIvySphinx: nothing more

PoisonIvySphinx: shez like whatever

PoisonIvySphinx: have a nice day

PoisonIvySphinx: bye

PoisonIvySphinx: im like yeah whateverz right

PoisonIvySphinx: fawking bitch

oOLadyMaxwellOo: LOL!

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Yeah, she changed.

PoisonIvySphinx: did you have to see the smut pix she took?

PoisonIvySphinx: jill did

PoisonIvySphinx: thank gawd she didnt wanna show me oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol! Thankfully, I didn't.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Smut? Ewwwww.

PoisonIvySphinx: same here

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

PoisonIvySphinx: shyea

PoisonIvySphinx: jill said she dressed up really slutty

PoisonIvySphinx: and took pix

PoisonIvySphinx: prolly for nick to schmack to

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Yep, yep, yep.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Damn fucking ho.

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao i know

PoisonIvySphinx: i mean

PoisonIvySphinx: im sorry

PoisonIvySphinx: i love talking to you

PoisonIvySphinx: jill

PoisonIvySphinx: an dmelissa

PoisonIvySphinx: and will can b good to talk to sometimez too

PoisonIvySphinx: but the people like her and otherz of my past i just want those memoriez buried i have better thingz to do with my time

PoisonIvySphinx: id much rather b around real life people then having a cyber relationship

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Amen to that.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: But I guess some people are too stupid to learn.

PoisonIvySphinx: shyeah definitely

PoisonIvySphinx: mrow ah wellz ive learned my lesson

PoisonIvySphinx: hmmm so do ya have class every day?

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Me too.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Oh, oh! Guess what!!

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Yep.

PoisonIvySphinx: what what

PoisonIvySphinx: damn

oOLadyMaxwellOo: NICK BLOCKED ME!

oOLadyMaxwellOo: HAHAHAHAAHAH!

PoisonIvySphinx: LMFAO

PoisonIvySphinx: ohhhhh NAO

PoisonIvySphinx: NAO MORE SNAGGLEPUSSYKINZ TAKE OFF THE CLOTHEZ TALK

PoisonIvySphinx: OHHHH NAO

PoisonIvySphinx: WHATEVER SHALL JOYKINZ DO

PoisonIvySphinx: GO TO BUSH ABOUT IT

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

oOLadyMaxwellOo: LMAO!

oOLadyMaxwellOo: And guess what else happened?!?!

PoisonIvySphinx: we REALLY need Clinton bak lmfao

PoisonIvySphinx: what

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Comedy Central played "That's My Bush" last night!

PoisonIvySphinx: NAO WAY

PoisonIvySphinx: damnit when

PoisonIvySphinx: i want to see it

PoisonIvySphinx: need to see it

PoisonIvySphinx: old onez?

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Last night!

PoisonIvySphinx: what time last night?

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Like around 11 P.M.

PoisonIvySphinx: damnit

PoisonIvySphinx: COME ON AGAIN

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol!

PoisonIvySphinx: yeah they were showing like all the old stuff they did

PoisonIvySphinx: RAPER WAZ ON

PoisonIvySphinx: lmfao

PoisonIvySphinx: damnit wonder if mel saw thatz my bush wish she could get online

PoisonIvySphinx: miss her a lot

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Awwwww, poor Heather and Melissa.

PoisonIvySphinx: shyeah i need another grrreat person az a chick friend lol

PoisonIvySphinx: taschaZ distant a lot

PoisonIvySphinx: and eih julie haznt been on much

PoisonIvySphinx: i talk to jill quite a bit

PoisonIvySphinx: but nao one to have on a daily basis az a chick lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Awww.

PoisonIvySphinx: shyeah ah wellz

oOLadyMaxwellOo: If it wasn't for my busy schedule, I would be on more often.

PoisonIvySphinx: me know me love ya anyayz joiykinz

PoisonIvySphinx: ya know that

PoisonIvySphinx: heh i alwayz sex ya

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol, I sex ya too girl.

PoisonIvySphinx: heh

PoisonIvySphinx: im gonna scare my bf with that

PoisonIvySphinx: i had forgotten it

PoisonIvySphinx: lol hez gonna b like wtf?

PoisonIvySphinx: heiy have you been watching passionz

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Nope, I can't catch it anymore.

PoisonIvySphinx: me either

PoisonIvySphinx: im usually never up

PoisonIvySphinx: or therez not a free tv

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Oi, I really hate homework.

PoisonIvySphinx: mrow i hear ya

PoisonIvySphinx: i alwayz hated skewl lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Don't blame ya.

PoisonIvySphinx: lol shyeah

PoisonIvySphinx: hmm what classez are ya taking

PoisonIvySphinx: mrow izh proud of the joykinZ ;p

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Awww, thanks.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: I'm taking clarinet, voice, and piano lessons. Then music theory, sightsinging, and woodwidn ensemble.

PoisonIvySphinx: heh youre welcome

oOLadyMaxwellOo: *woodwind

PoisonIvySphinx: wow

PoisonIvySphinx: whatz sightsinging?

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Then English 101, and LA 101.

PoisonIvySphinx: that soundz pretty damned interestin

PoisonIvySphinx: language artz right lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: When you have music, and you sing it like "Do Re Me".

PoisonIvySphinx: ahhhh

PoisonIvySphinx: i see

PoisonIvySphinx: warm up stuff ;p

PoisonIvySphinx: heh

oOLadyMaxwellOo: It depends on the notes.

PoisonIvySphinx: kewl

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol.

PoisonIvySphinx: hmmm

PoisonIvySphinx: yeah i used to do that stuff in chorus

PoisonIvySphinx: mrow fun fun

PoisonIvySphinx: lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol.

PoisonIvySphinx: sekushi animaru haka and her colleging ;p

oOLadyMaxwellOo: Lol.

oOLadyMaxwellOo: It's a living.

PoisonIvySphinx: heh shyeah

PoisonIvySphinx: lol shhh

PoisonIvySphinx: the bf doeznt know about the robe thing

PoisonIvySphinx: ohhh mahn

PoisonIvySphinx: he made me tell him about it lol

oOLadyMaxwellOo: lol.

Indecision

Rain dropping to the ground

Looking all around

Searching for your face

Heart in my handz, mind in dismay

Will he love me forever?

Should I let myself suffer

Thiz much for just one person

Are you worth it?

My heart'z telling me yes

Tet, my mind'z telling me NAO NAO NAO

Do I pull myself all the way into thiz

Or do I let it go

I'm confused

I want you

I don't know what I'm doing

I honestly don't know what I'm saying

Why I'm believing

That you'd possibly want me for the taking

That you'd want to burden yourelf into loving

Such an ugly little swan

Someone so irresponsible

Someone so stubbornly impossible

Do you want thiz mission that'z entirely impossible

My beautiful one

I hope you want to love someone az plain looking and abominable

Az the one

You'd select for the picking

I'm an indecisive one

Don't let it stop you

From letting you love me

I need you

To hold me

To caress not only What'z on the outside of me

But on the inside az well

And I want you to tell me

Everything your head iz thinking

When your talking

To such az a crazy one az I

And if you're going

To walk away impassioning me

Staring down at me and then grimacing

Please don't let me see it

Just look away

Don't let it

Encompany me

I'll kiss the blade

The one that made

The scar down my calvez

The one that tore me in half

When he said he could no longer go on loving me

And would rather go on without holding me

Not needing

To take in all my weeping

Not needing

To feel all my agony

Yes I'll show you what I am sullenly

Can you live with it

Can you pin it

To yourself

Or would you rather resist

And run away with yourself?

I'm not going to lie about it

We'll b honest right now

And don't let my insane judgement crowd

Your account

Don't let the fact I'm suffering

Have your judgement clouded

I want you to love me

But if you can't

Then just leave me

Here alone

Just please

Let me know

Unleashed

I want to feel more than just your body

I want to touch every part underneath the epidermis

I want to feel more than just having you inside of me

I want to shock your equilibrium all the way open

I want your soul

To know only how to hold

On to what makez me

Not what my skin showz of me

I want to taste more than just raspberriez

When I kiss your lipz smoothly

I want to touch what liez behind them

The idea that you have when you brush them

Against my temple

I wanna know what you're thinking

When your observant eyez are staring

What you're believing

When my armz are wrapped about you

And you think passion iz all that definez me?

You have a lot to learn about me

I can function without erotic desire

I can revognize the seven sighz

And you think I'm only using you

Do you think I could when loving you?

Not hardly

Not even partially

And I'll never love another

Not like you my hypnotic lover

And I want to ly to rest

Every angry division of my past'z existence

To move on fulfilling

Only you

If you

Want to have me

Can you

Dare love me

Az much az I beg you to

And I'll never sip on the sunshine az divinely

Az sipping on the thoughtz you bring to me

When surrounding myself with your entity

When just thinking of grasping your sight in front of me

No one else can bring to me

The amount of nostalgia

That you have unleashed in me

Viewing each moment in a thousand shadez of fantasia

Taking me to the highest of nirvanaz

And your smile would beat the sight of the angelz of heaven

In one brilliant shimmering second

I don't want to have to reckon

With the pulsing truth of losing you

Because I know I'll never deserve you

Never be able to give you the grace

You should have belong to you

I'll never know if I'm good enough for you

Until I look into your eyez

One more time

Then I'll want to stare for hourz on end

Never wanting

To leave you

You caught me

I can't stop loving you

More and more az each day comez into viewing

I love you

For who you

Show me

Of yourself to b

I love you

For the way you treat me

The way you look past my form made imperfectly

Idiotic Me
Ohhhh mahn just realized something tonight from talking with Steve. I feel like such an idiot but I understand something all too well now. I feel so damned stupid, I now realize that I should have NEVER said anything when I got those stupid mood swingz of feeling like from memoriez that I waz still in love with anyone that I'm not I mean really if you read anything that I've wrote about that person any time recently you'll see that I DON'T love them in that way. I think the only reason I think about them at all iz because we're just really good friendz and still talk but other than being friendz to each other we mean nothing else. I really need to let my past go tho so that I don't make anyone I recently love feel totally uncomftorable I know it haz to have been hard on anyone since the way I've been feeling lately. But they should know that the ONLY person I'm in love with iz them. I don't even love Melissa in that way any more I don't want to do anything except b friendz with anyone else. ugh I still feel extremely stupid. I should have just left those memoriez and thoughtz alone and let them die. mrow to b quite honest I love Josh more than I ever thought I waz in love with anyone else I mean I waz never able to express myself very well unless writing it down with anyone else with him I could just look at him and ask him or say what I feel it'z quite interesting. That and the fact that he'z ACTUALLY held me and touched me and seen me and been az close to me az he izh it'z a lot better to me. mrow it'z a long story but shyeah I just feel really bad for what I mustve made him feel sighz.

New

hmm at the same time listening to that cd of No Doubt I never really had someone make me think of them when listening to New I've alwayz loved it since they used to play it on z103 but hmm it remindz me a lot of the way I feel with Josh shrugZ I'll put the lyrix up just cause I feel like it ;p

Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away

New, you're so new You, you're new And I never had this taste in my past New, you're so new

My normal hesitation is gone And I really gravitate to your will Are you here to fetch me out? Cause I've never had this taste in my mouth

Oh you're not old And you're not familiar Recently discovered and I'm learning about you

New, you're so new You, you're new

And you're consuming me violently And your revernece shamelessly tempting me Who sent this maniac Cause I've never had this taste in the past

Oh you're different, you're different from the former Like a fresh battery, I'm energized by you

Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away

Why am I curious? This territoy is dangerous I'll probably end up at the start I'll be back in line with my broken heart New, you're so new You, you're new And I never had this taste in the past

Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has go to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away

And I can't believe it Can't believe it Can't believe it Can't believe it Don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away

Home

hmmm got into some stuff I used to listen to agez ago which iz my Return of Saturn No Doubt cd I used to sit and listen to thiz song a lot and think of Will and think if the circumstancez like in it could have been different thingz would have maybe of werked out for us shrugZ I'm retarded what can I say?

I'm hanging out with me And you're a vacant chair A chosen compromise This space we rarely share And if you lived here you'd be home now So whatcha givin' up for me? And what shall I give up for you? Aimless expectations passing by

If you lived here you'd be home now If you lived here you'd be home now Woah, and to make it real I need to have you here I need to have you I need to hold you

Barren wasted heart Neglect of normalcy And if you lived here you'd be home now Oh, if you lived here you'd be home now Woah, and to make it real I need to have you here I need to have you Woah, woah It can't be sincere Unless you spend time here I need to see you

Supervision is what I need Is what I need Some consistence and tangibility Tangibility Some casual light days Part of the furniture I want to take you for granted And see you regular So whatcha givin' up for me? And what shall I give up for you? The separations tired It's been too long Woah And to make it real I need to have you here I need to have you Woah, woah It can't be sincere Unless you spend time here I need to see you I need you I need you I need you I need you If you lived here If you lived here If you lived here Come home now

Ruined Beauty

Out of it You don't even know it You don't see it coming Emotional melt down burning The projectorz wheelz turning Romantic moviez my broken little heartz spurning You're not coming You're not even caring That my soulz crying That my eyelidz have water streaming Down the center Doezn't it make me so damned appealing Nao you never Thought I waz appetizing Liar Liar beat the fountain of fire that'z rising

Little fiend'z fingerz have snapped Too many timez You wouldn't hold my hand Your mouth wouldn't touch mine Trying to cover it up Building my hopez up Now weren't you buttercup Making me think Love waz the element you were preserving Thought I wazn't good enough for your deserving Now I know it waz only a story preserving What deep down under the surface you were feeling Now I'm screaming Screaming my lungz out Because for twenty three dayz you're all I thought about You made me believe Telling you all my secretz While you were looking at me Me your little ruined beauty

Deception A game of liez you like to play so well Impetuous one Beside your feet I fell Kissing your toez in the kitchen Carrying love over thre threshhold of hell You never wanted them No not my lipz No not my agenda I never wanted you to b my slave I just wanted to have the one thing I craved To have a sliver of faith That extended past having your dick enter my vagina More than sucking your saliva But you didn't understand and treated me like ugly china

Chorus

Do you love me Can you really tell me That you want nothing but me Can you promise me You'll never cheat You'll never lie to me? I bet you have already Don't know what you'll do with me Once I hear from another more pretty Than what I am And we know everyone iz much more lovely Than which of what I am The number one detesting thing that I can Take all the way down And seriously have Meet me all the way down On the floor Somewhere you've never been Unless with a whore But never in the alone position

Chorus

What are you doing Who have you really been holding Who iz she that you've been seeing Keep on going Keep on lying Just az long az I'm not knowing Anything And nothing No harm can b done Judasess in your armz cuddling Izn't she the one? And you've been shuffling Between two instead of just one I know what you've been doing I know what you've done I know that you're not seeing Everything that will come Welcome To the epiphany of my train of thinking Don't go on speaking Because the sylablez from your tongue I'm no longer believing Deep down your a coward A weakling And you don't care how long I go on grieving And my handz will go smacking The perfect face of the one you used for deceiving Me with to keep the flamez crackling NO MORE LAUGHING NO MORE SMILING IT'Z OVER I'LL TAKE ALL THE FAWKING LIARZ INTO THE FROZEN CONDEMNATION TURNING INTO PRISONERZ

Body for Love

You want to make me into your cock sucking whore We both know I deserve so much more Than to be treated that way and ignored You used to be cute and your childish ways I adored Now I'm just walking out your back door We both know that I'm worthy of much better Than to be played with while your eyes are ravaging a slut in a tight sweater Using me as your sex slave Just a sexy little snack for your lips to crave That game of yours put it away Cause I don't wanna play

We know this isn't gonna last I'm not going to act as another devoted member of your cast We came so far I don't wanna be another lost star Remember you promised me Don't lie please Let's kill the suspense Put an end to all this nonsense

Placing me with your other girls at the top of your harem There's nothing wrong with sharing Aren't I right? Baby boy you're so wrong I want more than just a glance at your dong I know you're thinking let me see that thong Yes I can read your thoughts It doesn't take a whole lot To understand your kind Now nothing but sex is on my mind Feeling so ultra fine Boy if you can not please me please dont waste all of my time Wishing you had some killer rhymes Exactly like mine

Chorus

Going off crying In the streets people like me keep on dying You take no notice Your eyes are out of focus Glued to the corner watching as a poor child's working Horny you start jerking Offering a dollar for her service Eyeing the ground as she undresses I know she's scared and nervous Quite the pervert In your mind she's just another tramp to convert No words are spoken as you violate Each move you make I've grown to hate

Chorus

Thinking you can have whatever you want Piercing another cunt Cumdumpster Calling me clever Thinking you can have it whenever My time and place is never Take another hit Off some other sluts pussy's juices I'm sure the disease will transmit Not being able to commit I'm through with your shit Asking me are you a whore? I'm the best slut money can get Only one condition to my profit I only submit My body to those who pay me with true love

Wildy

You Are a Wild Woman!

Put down the whip and unlace those come-fuck-me boots!
You definitely qualify as kinky - and not just occasionally.
You've exhausted every fantasy, but you're always open to new ones.
Your sexual encounters are usually spiced with role-play, bondage, new positions, props, and fun fetishes.

Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva