wicked gothyz place

I loved you once I loved you twice I let you suck and eat off of me like a canvas sponge I tried to b nice I tried to give you more time More time to make up your mind Do you want me still iz my question I can see it in your eyez but I can't hear it in your voice I seriously need to know what's your choice Part of me wantz yes but the other half wantz no I need to know so I can have the proper supervision Of how to act around your highness

Why am I still here? Why do I still come bak to here? Nothing left for either of us to say You've made it simple you've made it plain You commited the act of adultry You let your lipz and tongue turn sultry You forgot me completely Packed tightly away with pink ribbonz and bowz neatly What will you do with me precisely now that you've hung me out to dry so nicely? Will you give me one last kiss One last glance? Or is it over with my face pressed to the cold glass window like thiz Walking towardz me and Im pulling away I'm sorry but I don't trust thiz

And did you really mean all those thingz about me like you said you did? Or waz it just another quick Quick sylable or phrase To lock me under your seat and served on your tray Are you really az brave Az you like to boast and brag about yourself? Or iz that just another lie for the tabloidz to soon go on sell Did I really ever mean anything to you when at your feet I fell? Did you really embrace me when we walked through the park under your umbrella When you sniffed my hair of Kangaroo paw and my body that smelled like vanilla? Waz I only another piece of paraphernalia

Chorus

Are you going to press down on me until I'm a orange royal crush? Why are you leaving? What'z your rush? Did you forget to bring your toothbrush? I have one in my bag Not that you would want use anything of mine I waz never impressed with the way you ignored my crying And just for once one last time I want to taste your kiss Is that too much to ask? One last delicious kiss Since you'll never let your lipz swoop down on mine again That waz now thiz iz then And now to you I've earned the title of being nothing

Chorus

You were mine under the moonlight I can bring bak the sprite Just give me the chance Forget my melancholy nature Forget my dissatisfied behavior I wazn't myself on the nite you left me to beseech myself Really if you would just give me the chance to show you the ice could melt I could kiss you with a tongue of satin and velvet But you throw me away Into the cold soggy rain Without the umbrella or coat You didn't read the note The one I left on the balcony Where I kissed you under the starz The one that said I love you can't you possibly wait for me Wait for me to turn bak into what you want really? You never let your eyez see it Because you knew you wanted my love and just wouldn't bear to admit it You're pulling it all away. . .

Waste
Waste

Did I start thiz funky little revolution To b honest I can't remember You took away my libido to function Do you care that you've led me to my own self destruction I can't spare you for your sexual conduct You led me on like a blind fool for believing in your criticism So big bad wolf waz it all only a game of seduction No substance to the liquid I did whatever you insisted You told to me to jump so I jumped You told told me you wanted a slut so I became your slut I'm not happy with yourself and I hate the circumstancez

You screwed me over im falling over and over Into the dark black sea Sea of hungry lipz That lick me for five centz For each taste But you see it az excess and waste They shouldn't pay anything My soiled purged flesh should b free In your eyez youd let mayhem roam the streez Because you don't care about your ex wife getting beat Just az long az your new wife'z in protection of safety You threw me out after you heard of my pregnancy None of you listen to the prophecy

What am I just your entertainment? Hurry up I want your stupid alibi to define it To explain my new replacement To stare at me in pity But I don't want your pity You don't understand my complexity You never deserved me I'll never let you have me You'll never touch me You may have once but never again I won't live in your prodigy of sin Just so you have another whore to take in Another mouth to feed

Chorus

You want to own me? Just one problem you see I belong to no one not even myself I don't know myself So I can't exactly sayI hold the contract You'll never figure out whatz in my head I can't lead you to your suspect No need to get angry Selling silver ear ringz solid and dangly They hang from my ear lobez and you try and blow into my ear hole To turn me on? Do I look like your type turnz me on? Mesmerised by medium sized breastz QUIT STARING AND GO ON!

Chorus

I'll wear satin and lace In silver and lavendar You name the time and place Im not the hooker Don't even start to think you're going to see me strip Those thoughtz you might az well erase I'll show you how to make out without my dress having to get ripped I won't accept I SAID NO I SAID LET GO DON'T YOU DARE RAPE ME I'LL FIGHT LIKE CRAZY YOU WON'T HOLD ME DOWN YOU WON'T GET THE BEST OF ME I USED TO LOVE YOU WHEN YOU WERE SANELY CRAZY You've pushed past psychotic Past fucked up and Im looking for something embryonic

Monster
Monster

If you only knew what I felt If you only knew how hard it waz going through each day hating yourself You'll never know true pain Because you're too caught up in the express lane To ever notice my chipped smile painted black Paint over it and give your boyfriend a nice big smack On the lipz iz your solution I do your fawk werk and I generate a techno revolution But what I do iz never good enough for your institution Institution of the artz that doezn't feel what artiste meanz or expressez You just think itz all black clothing and lautez and expresso You never think about what startz and progressez

You don't care about me You never asked me The invitation waz closed You told me nao Stay here and do the rest for you So that the nailz and board to your perfect childz king size bed may b brought Who carez about expsense or if it costz a lot Not if itz for you Not itz if for your perfect children too Fuck you You don't help me You never ask me where would you like to go You forget me And let the livez of otherz take over mine!!!

I waz doing okay I waz doing pretty good Until the wolf had to come charging up on hiz dog-sled sleigh To capture me little red riding hood To feed me to the creaturez of gore for food And there silently I stood My penance hanging over my head I let you take whatever you wanted Let her dangle over the edge her lifez already wasted Follow the hidden staircase Don't let her see Don't let her detecting eyez peek

Chorus

Do you want to kiss me? I'll let you if you just say please I'll give it to easy You can take it all on your own But first I have to know You love me That you'll hold me Polish me Until the end Can you do it or will you break to bend? And I need a strong stranger for my heart to defend

Chorus

I'll let you take me upstairz Or if you prefer downstairz Just please kill the monsterz The onez that lurk under my eyez Under the coverz Under the bed'z wooden hingez Through the magic wardrobe Lipz ravishing with a tongue slick enough to slide inbetween My teeth To explore the ripened watermelon flavor And I want you to savor Savor all my gothic beauty Even when I don't have beauty Even when you're the only one left who seez that beauty

Don't leave me NO DON'T LEAVE ME CANT YOUR FUCKING BLIND EYEZ SEE YOU NEED ME YOU HATE ME YOU MAY HATE ME BUT DEEP DOWN YOU NEED IT, NEED ME NEED ME JUST AZ MUCH AZ I NEED YOU YOU WANT ME AZ MUCH AZ I WANT YOU TOO AND YOU CAN KEEP ME HAPPY IF YOU JUST TRY I'LL EVEN SAY EVERY DAY IM PRETTY JUST TAKE ME BAK TAKE ME BAK INTO YOUR GRASP BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE WHAT I CAN AND YOU'D FEEL IT IF YOU'D JUST HOLD MY HAND!!!!

confusion
just too fuckin confused tonite I havent been to bed in twenty nine hourz basically shrugz so maybe thatz my problem but I think I pissed Melissa off pretty badly by saying I wish I had a normal life i didnt mean what she probably meant i did i just meant that i wish thingz could b better and more stable shrugz eih and then we had thiz discussion in aim anime about how you only have one true love but I honestly dont believe that Ive been in love w/at least five guyz eih includin the blah blah bull shit Ive been feeling lately which really really confusez me coz i think theyre my real love person but if they are why iz everything so fawked in it? im just really sick of dead hope privelegez and stuff im gonna never fall in love again eih im really too tired to really b writing thiz shit but eih i have a REALLY REALLY REALLY BIG SECRET YAH MAHN THATZ right lmfao eih I have some secret about my life in Europe eih ever feel like you have an investigative repoerter following you around I think i have a major dong one named Shaun who wantz to know wayyyyyyyyyy too much about Heather which iz bad for him I miss other thingz realy bad tho and I really miss what I had and having someone to play w/and talk to but I guess itz all over sighz Im about to just give up shrugz dunno what to do any more too damned tired to think SHAUN IZ A DONG!!!!! DOOFAGE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA DONG BOIY AINT GONNA GET THIZ HURRAY FOR THE TYGER AND TYGER BOIY YOU ALL RAWK ;p LOVE YA MELISSA laterZ ;p

three little wordz
Three Little Wordz

Want it Need it Come and retrieve it Leave it Deceive it Impede it Streak it Sneak it Repeat it Complete it

You want me to do everything you say? Come and make me You want me to fulfill you in every physical way? From now on you'll have to take me forcefully You want me to behave? I guess you forgot to teach me You no longer think Im sexy? Or iz it that you just don't want to admit what you feel for me? I know you still want me! Do what you say? I don't think so, I don't think so Why should I do anything you say? You moved on and no longer give the sight of my body the time of day But if you tell me you kissed her again I won't stay

Men can't live with them can't live with out them I've grown sick of you az well az the rest of them You made my hopez of love grow so thin And they were already completely anorexic Now you've gone ahead to vex it Do you hate me for wanting it? Do you hate me for trying it? Do you enjoy ripping it Ripping it all out of the rafterz Not that I really matter I've grown to see through your dark eyez that pierce over me to shatter

Chorus

Loved you, loved your silly liez I tried to keep the tearz hidden behind my eyez I never let you see how hard it waz not to cry I acted totally happy hardly But you bought it You bought my fierce little act What doez it make me just another ridiculous tramp? Sweet and scampy If Im your mistress you can call me Vampy Maybe JUST maybe

Chorus

What surprised by what created me? You want to be me? You want to love me? We both know you already lust after me I have one question you might take personally Can you b unpussified? Can you again b classifeied Az a gentleman? Will you come crawling bak to me on all four handz? Put a foot in your mouth I already have my doubtz

You can't go bak to the way you were with me You cant love me az you once before did Are you trying to win with your attempt at jealousy? That could b well arranged with love that'z splendid But you don't love me with splendor And if itz seething envy you want I'd b jealous of twenty suitorz But you never made me the offer The offer of monogamy So forever I'll sit here lonely Shame on you for hurting me so intensely I'll never again say those three little wordz Too much pain involving too much hurt

Death Row
Death Row

You think you'll get away with it? You think Im totally easy? You think once shez done with you youll come crawling bak to me Come slithering on handz and kneez It won't matter how much you beg you'll see That I'll never let go the way you fucked with me You want me to avoid sharp objectz Wet pantiez stick them in a box? What about myself respect? What about the way all you are iz talk? You want the knife? You really want it? If you want it so bad coyote shiverz come and claim it All you ever did waz manipulate it All you brought to my life were complicationz Fingerz, head and nose What am I do ya suppose? But a fiendish witch of chaotic fructose

Died when you left me Lived when you talked to me You've left me forever Should I care? Are you ready to go? There'z the door don't look bak when you walk out it I can make it just fine alone You'll soon learn that I control the rain and the cloudz I'm Iris goddess of the rainbow You think I cant make it? You think I wont make it? Look out your jaded window Smell with your nouse Ten fingerz and ten toez

Chorus

That'z right bastard you know you don't respect my affection Don't give me those same sad puppy dog eyez or that same sad little clown smile Give it to me and my fistz will start to head in that same direction That'z right you son of a bitch Im talking about your face and those eyez that stare at me for a while They move on to the next hottest chick who holdz in her hand a nail file Maybe shez got the beauty manicure productz but eih whatz thiz in my two hnadz? WHATZ THIZ? SPEED, MARLBOROZ AND A KNIFE TO BUTCHER TO SMOTHER AND COVER UP THE SCARZ ON MY HEART THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND WHEN YOU THREW YOURSELF IN HER ARMZ FUCK YOU HEATHER FUCK YOU TO HELL I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT HER

Chorus

I no longer want him Wish I were thin Wish I were beautiful Then you'd forget her every scruple And want me and only me No one else could do substantially I thought I waz getting diamondz But guess what I got instead You're what I ended up with My time of the month Throw me into the bark of the tree trunk Skin to blister and twist but it never turnz blue Should I love you? HELL NO!

Sorry to get so violent You know I love you more than anything so no need to any longer keep the secret I don't need your kinky fetish I'll do well all by myself Cuttting away the skin all the way down to the marrow My veinz grow narrow And I'll take more tomorrow I took it all for you so you could b happy and now here I am sitting on death row

she doezn't really suck . .
my favorite poem Ive ever read of taschaZ

~i suck~

I wish you could see the true inner me I'm not as happy or as angry as you think I may be I hope these words change your opinion on who I am I'm not what I seem I don't mean to be mean But you've pushed me to far While you're all big and popular remember I made you a star For every time you laughed I cried When I got depressed you just shrugged and sighed Remember the last time you were alone! Who was there with you! Whose will was as hard as stone!? Who cared when no one else would Who did it all, who did all they could Who encouraged you to be the better half Now look whose taken the wrong path... I remember when we used to be alike Now all we seem to do is fight I don't think you understand just how crazy I am Do you want me to stop it? I promise you I can I can also stop the birthday cards the presents and joy I can take it all away, don't worry this time theres no need to repay Are you sure you want me to do this? Its either a hit of miss You made me wait to long now I'm done my con list Wait, whats that you want me to turn back? Its hard to get up with no hands, so you offer to help me with yours? Hah I forgot that's a joke so I take out my throat But maybe you were serious, now that I'm curious While I attempt to breath you stuff my mouth full of pills I never knew why you hated me, but I guess it doesn't matter how the hate kills That you've gone on and forgotten about me So now, temporarily I sit in the bottom of some ones thought Will they think of me again tomorrow? For my sake I hope not.

why me?
why am I so fucking stupid? why do I fall in love so fucking much? can i please rip my fucking heart out and go shove it in some fucking guyz mouth? all they fucking do iz hurt me thiz haz been the worse nite and I think that when I spilled that salt the other day maybe it lead to my extremely bad luck I dont know I really don't know I just feel like Im losing everything and everyone I had Tim tell me tonite that hed been making out w/some other girl did every fucking thing he wanted me to and look at where it led me to FUCKING NO WHERE why doez gawd hate me so fawking much if I had been there I have the feeling that would have been me but I guess itz too late and I feel really fawking depressed I couldnt sleep tonite and I think thatz why me and my fawking Taurus intuition! eih I took 6 tylenol pmz in the last hour I hope I don't wake up tomorrow I hope I don't wake up ever again I feel so fawking shitty and I no longer know what to do Im afraid really afraid of losing Melissa too Im gonna come bak on tomorrow just to see if shez doing okay and then I don't think Im gonna b comin on all that much any more I just have no reason now Im going to b o fucking depressed you should see my namez on here eih itz in the song by Placebo thatz gonna get posted any minute now coz itz zactly how I feel no wonder Ive loved it ever since I heard it today itz exactly what I am I can successfully say I hate men w/a passion I hate everyone they just get sooooo fuckin weird I wanna have one person truly love me that I love bak who will never cheat on me iz that to fucking much to ask for? I give up gonna go smoke some monoxide and hope the pain killerz kick in laterZ

36 Degreez

Placebo

We were tight, but it falls apart as silver turns to blue. Waxing with a candlelight, and burning just for you. Allocate your sentiment, and stick it in a box. I've never been an extrovert, but i'm still breathing.

Someone tried to do me ache (it's what I'm afraid of)

With hindsight, I was more than blind, lost without a clue. Thought I was getting carat gold, and what I got was you. Stuck inside the circumstances, lonely at the top. I've always been an introvert happily bleeding.

Someone tried to do me ache (it's what i'm afraid of)

4 7 2 3 9 8 5 - I gotta breathe to stay alive, and 1 4 2 9 7 8 - feels like I'm gonna suffocate. 14 16 22 - this skin that turns to blister blue. Shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees, shoulders toes and knees,I'm 36 degrees, shoulder toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees, shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees.

bwap
eih why do guyz have to b so damned confusing? I don't understand men at all I still just dont get why they say one thing at one minute and the next day just totally change their mind at what theyre saying? whatz up w/that? Shaun iz a dong a majorly incredibly huge dong ;p but hez still pretty kewl unfortunately ;p eih tho he SERIOUSLY needz to quit callin me hot coz i am not in any possible way hot nor cute eih mahn Im gonna get him bak for saying he had that huge folder of picturez that Melissa haz that someone on bolt gave it to him I swear mahn that waz just evil LoL I know he likez talkin to the hot thin anorexic air lmfao dong dong dong ;p eih mahn tho guyz are seriously confusing trying to still figure out someone else and eih I really miss havin Tim around to bug I like playin w/him altho I prolly annoy him to death ;p eih still doeznt think shez hot in any way eih and I hope Melissaz better tomorrow Im pretty damned worried about her I love her a lot so shed better b okay you hear that you bad little person? youd just better b okay or Im comin after ya in heaven or hell ;p eih mahn seriously tho if someone callz me hot sexy or cute again Im going to beat them w/a stick so everyone please behave will ya? the only person who may call me anything they want iz Melissa ;p eih so no I am not useful either if I am I have no idea how the hell I am shrugz and someone please tell me what a Tao iz? LoL dong Shaun ;p eih ohhh wellz ill figure it all out someday ohhh yah mahn I forgot to add last nite/today my stalkerz still after me ;p he wantz Melissa to go over to hiz house so "they" can call me lmfao i guess he waznt satisfied w/the way I waz the last time we talked since I waz completely gone ;p itll b that way prolly for a long time now coz az of I know Im in love w/someone else and mysteriousness az wild az it iz i have realized sometimez turnz me on or it just drivez me crazy eih I feel weird today I think Im a go take my narcoticz and fall asleep laterZ

for Melissa
Interior

Why do you no longer care about me have I lost you Waz it something I said? Why am I losing you? I understand perfectly You're not letting me get through to you You're no longer letting me count too Do I no longer matter to you Am I nothing to you? Just because you lost it all to hell? Don't you think I lose it all too and I lose it to every male You were mine all mine My perfect lovely bride

Im nothing without you Fifty year old pushing you down hill I no longer know what to do Push me out until my voice startz to slip until You no longer hear me say sit still I don't wanna see you rummage for a soul I don't like seeing you without your soul But I honestly no longer have my soul Because I bargained for it when to you I sold Sold out my name Sold out my fame Soul coughing Whipped cream topping And you cant taste my tearz Because you don't want to admit what seeing me doez to your interior

Women of gold and silver My strenghtz beginning to filter Take me down by the river Tie me down to the muddy bottom Leave me because Im soiled and rotten And I want to touch you with my tongue oose around my neck iz too tight and im starting to hang Bread and water to my mouth iz all you brought And I waited but youre touch never came You never untied me from the trackz praying to some outer appearance of God It didn't get me a whole awful lot I've been saved and baptised But Im not your saint And because I can't help you You punish me by pushing the knife through

Chorus

Make me your property Sell me and profit from me Take my pride away Because itz all been pushed away Long ago But I lived on for you dont you know? You cant give up Cant ever give up Not when I need you my love Don't let go Because todayz not the end Don't let any enemy see you cry In the ened Ill make you want me In the end Ill still love you Don't let me go Don't let the memory go You wanna have me checked at the door? Fine leave me nailed to the cross on the floor Leave me to b crucified For your faith Ive already died I still love you dare I? I do and I'll hold on to you until the end because you living in my eyez I know iz right

shakin
eih im really really really worried sick about Melissa I know she feelz awful and mister mahn never ever feedz her and Im really worried about her welfare I love Melissa to death and I dont want her to die please make it Melissa please I need you whether you think I do or not and I love you no matter what you believe too and just becoz everythingz wrong doeznt mean you should go die me and you both need to live fuck everything just please live for me youre the one person who really needz me just please live for a bit longer nad make it to b w/me Im really worried about her I think Im gonna go cry or somethin I dont want Melissa to die she meanz the world to me Im really really really extremely scared of losing her Im ignoring everyone else right now Im just so fucking scared i dont wanna see her die I love her a lot please just let everything b okay just for a little longer please let her make it to b w/me sighz guess Ill go put myself to sleep to not like anyonez gonna care if im around ;/ please let Melissa b safe . . . laterZ

Soul Exam
Soul Exam

Im pushing for it Im trying to get it Im trying to b it I'm losing it I want you to kiss it To kiss it all better Looking at me like what'z with her Staring at me like I wish I didn't know her I'm tired of being scared Im tired of you being scared

I want you to b healthy I want you to stay I want you to know Know being with you iz a luxury I want you to feel me I want you to love me Iz what I want a part of the impossible? I hate men and Im growing to not b able to live with myself Standing in the snow with a melancholy smile on my face Thinking of how out of place I alwayz am And you never listen and you never have the right answerz on my soul exam Pale slippery silver shape Im sick of trying to get to tan I need you can you b my man? Didn't think so You don't meet the ultimate plan

I want to know what to say To make everything become okay To finally b able to make your troublez and sorrow disappear away I want to taste your kiss ripened with the age The age of wiiting You ask what can I do for you miss? Can I provide you some type of service I know you know what I need and itz not thiz Not thiz five second meeting that growz briefer and more nervous And you're dark solemn eyez leave me intangibly curious

Chorus

Will I alwayz live with misconception? And I can't bear to look at my reflection It shinez bak to show me exactly What I don't wish to see The face of a young woman who'z unbeautiful And I want you because you're beautiful You hold the piece of me I no longer have The piece I long to have bak But we both know I can't have it Because I no longer belong to it I belong to you and I'll never know why you want it

Chorus

Liquid running down my legz Sticking to my black bootz What comez next? Snake in the mirror I wish the portal to interception were clearer I want to hvae you nearer But you dont want to touch me You dont want to hold me I can't let you disown me Because you see It just doeznt happen to work thiz way When you loved it last nite but not today And you make me break You make me crave Every single atom of matter I can't substain And I want you to remain Remain with your same tempo But I know you'll soon have to go Because you belong to something much greater Than me

to herself
Thiz iz another totally fuckin awesome poem taschaZ wrote she kindz wrote it to herself az an inner circle ya should take the time to read ;p

Hold this knife and with all your power resist If it gets to hard use your fist Dont go as low to hurt yourself Instead if it has to be someone else Ive been there i know that its like But its a situation where you must fight!! Dont give up dont you dare back down! I'll hit you, you son of a bitch if i see you frown Oh i'm sorry i didn't mean to get violent You know i love you, so no need to be silent So you chose not to listen to me!? I do everything for you now you watch me bleed!! Oh my god what have i done Please dont be scared ..well it was a little fun See this smile on my face, i did it for you Please dont leave me i did this for you!! That's it bitch your dont respect my love I tried so hard and i got shoved I'm to close to the edge for your emotional troubles I can do fine by myself Break away from your bubble I dont need you i'm fine by myself Look hah hah! Just me and my knife I break the skin go down to the bone i'm so happy i'm not alone i'm not alone I'm about to be pure, happy too I did all of this....all just for you Now i'm dead and i'm not even blue

worried
eih I got to watch and talk to Mewissaz really early thiz morning like around three in the morning and before then LoL It made me realize how much I really miss talking to her more personally like on the phone or in person and made me realize how much I miss being w/her I love Melissaz a lot I just wish thingz werent so screwed up for her and me both and that we didn't have soooo many problmez to face or feel so bad all the time just wish that everything could b perfect? ya know what I mean? but then I know Im not little miss perfect or anything and I know there iz really no such dimension az perfect unless ya get to heaven but eih therez just alwayz that little ounce of wanting ya know? wanting to belong to a perfect substance where youre alwayz loved and alwayz noticed and alwayz feel great and itz just a sublime of a nirvana sighz I just wish somethin good could happen for once shrugz I guess itll never happen tho so I might az well face the reality that I suck! eih Im still worried about Melissa tho since she feelz so bad that ppl are assholez and just never like ya I know how it feelz coz i get it all the time w/my skanky ass eih tho Im to the point of saying fuck it I no longer care what ppl think I mean last nite I got told Id b hot if notice therez alwayz an if or but ;p if I changed myself like my body size and the way i do my make up hair all that superficial bull shit and Im just really not in the mood to go along w/it Im tired of trying to b something for someone else I wanna b myself and just b happy w/myself but it alwayz seemz I never can b happy w/myself and so I guess thatz one major thing I need to really try to work on and eih I guess thatz all I have to say for now laterZ

scared
eih Shaun iz a major dong he keepz trying to get picturez of me and Melissaz talkin about the naked picturez she haz of me to him Im really scared shez also tellin him i want to have orgiez w/him Im scared just plain out scared taschaZ come save me please? come on tyger Ill bring money and we can go get some drugz I promise ;p eih tho I seriously hope shaunZ doeznt get any of my scary picturez enough ppl have seen my scary skanky ass eih yah definitely eih iz it just me or am I sensing that everyone wantz the who where when why and what of everything any more? LoL eih I should go do some monoxide and do my pain killerz of tylenol pm so I can fall asleep and forget everything I waz a real bitch to Melissa today and I shouldnt have been like that Im just concerned about her welfare a lot and that shez safe coz I love her a lot and then I still am a bit depressed coz I still feel like Tim could care less about me no matter what Melissa asyz ;p eih shaunZ iz a dong a very very big dong Im really glad that shaunZ thinkz that Melissa iz the only source that haz my pix and that heZ not going to find them lmfao thiz rawkz eih I had some really good conversation w/taschaZ even tho she waz high lucky tyger ;p eih I guess thatz all for now laterZ

DAMN! I have been hit by so many tests I have all the CTD's (clicking transmitted diseases)!

for Bunny poem
thiz iz a poem taschaZ wrote for Bunny itz really good too ya should read ;p

Today i cried again i do it everyday i feel all alone its all just the same i tried so hard to get you but you didn't seem to care maybe you didn't realize maybe it just wasn't there i always did miss you and i always was there i never was angry (how could i be with your smile) i never was upset.....(believe me it was all worth while) id see you everyday and that's what kept me going i would say "hi" but the way i said it, it was never shown

you mean so much to me, more than too anyone else im probably not worth it, worth your precious while im just another one, another neglected lonely child i know this is hard but as it for me too i'll try to make this simple and right to the point my love for you is real and it will never leave no matter how long i wait i will always watch over you and smile a little every time i see you laugh i know their's more behind that smile the pain and the hurt shows behind it all

believe me your not alone...... but what i want you to understand the most above the rest i would never leave you i would be the best just be happy and enjoy life please, if not for me do it for the rest when i see those tears filling up inside i would be there i would never hide even when my shoulder is not there it really is sometimes you just have to take it my family has hurt me dear and my parents are no where near i have trouble with my thoughts they never seem to leave my mouth id push away my feelings to make room for yours never be too busy, give you what you deserve i don't ask you to return this love just know that it is there and it does exist for you you have accomplished so much and don't leave that be proud of yourself even if we fall out (that ever dreadful day) i will still be here, all alone but id stay if i dont make it remember that i loved you all along (without you i would have nothing) if you don't make it please know that i loved you all along

kick ass poem
thiz iz another poem by Tascha the tyger ;p

Whats in your head? I see a blank stare, that's how others observe but i know theres so much more there. Hey what are you doing?!? Someone just asked! Your going to let your only chance for sympathy just up and pass?? You always were like that, to afraid to ask for help...Stop doing that!! I feel like i'm going to melt! Tascha you really need to get some help you cant live so alone, even I never get shown. You listen to your heart, you always were the romantic type well i'm here now! and i'm going to make you fight! You cant control your nerves and i'm going to make it hurt! Your heart is weeping and i'm about to explode. Please i'm begging you lay down and take a nap, keep your body out of your lap, sit up and be brave dont listen to your heart this time! Its to broken to help you! Your in the kitchen grab a snack...what are you doing?!! Theres no need to pack! Stay here with me put down the gun! Tascha i love you weve had so much fun! i'm sorry i dont understand why you weep i'm sorry i dont understand why i make you angry but i'm yours to keep! Dont leave your nothing without me!!..Hah hah haha bleed bleed bleed! I'm getting weak now i've lost a lot of blood, before we separate theres something i wanted to tell you, you always were my bud. Maybe that's why your so upset, did i make you think to much? I guess it was my fault...IT WAS YOUR FAULT!

great werk
thiz iz a really kick ass poem Tascha wrote and taschaZ I think you're a very good writer so hush ;p eih here'z the poem kick ass work ;p

It wouldn't matter to me if the sun never shined If the sky fell in and the time of day died Just as long as you were by my side id be happy

It wouldn't matter to me if i never got to pick another flower enjoy a dance in an April shower or touch the earth again as long as i could gently touch your face id be even happier

It wouldn't matter to me if i never got to watch a bird fly go swimming or to go for a bike ride as long as i got to hold you id be so happy

It wouldn't matter to me if i never got to laugh at a joke laugh out of spite of just to laugh as long as i could hear you laugh id be so happy for you

It wouldn't matter to me if i never got to run never got to walk or for the matter never used my legs again as long as i could watch you grow up it would make me happy

It wouldn't matter much to me if i never slept again had a stupid nightmare or just a stupid dream as long as i could watch you sleep id have no reason to id whisper to you and id be so happy

Of course i love all those things but what i love even more is you. But do you know what would kill me?

Seeing you not happy. I love you.

Zorilla

What obscure animal are you?

uh oh Im big butt im a nurse lol

you're a suicidal nurse. take the quiz here.

mmmmmm

Take the Which Breakfast Food Are You? Quiz.

Losing
Losing. . . . Kiss me One two three On the lipz On the neck Try and douse it Try and ease my temperment Try and make me forget But I can't stop thinking And every single drop is even more confusing I wanna know what you mean when youre talking Talking about me behind my bak I'm talking to her About how you don't love me About how you don't want me She won't believe it But I know that someone az hot az you are could never possibly Want an ugly little bitch like me Don't judge me Don't lie to me Don't suggest to me i'm over-reacting When you're the one bringing playboyz into t he bedroom for schmacking Everytime I look into your eyez Spin me around ten timez A little bit of angeldust My dress comez undone Tight stockingz make sure they don't have runz You think itz all just a big corporation of fun I guess that'z what you are A corporate sell out You did it for the money? Don't look at me with your puppy dog eyez and baby pout You've gone behind my bak too many timez for me to count Chorus You tell her to take it Shez not using it now take it Shez not using me so want it Everything in my open palm they all covet Can I help it that I have excess? But itz mine and only mine These emotionz are growing strong and how much longer I'll repress My lipz grow in distress They're about to bust the bubble They're about to lose control of being subtle Chorus I don't know trouble I don't know danger I'm not the good girl who'z an angel I'm not the evil girl who'z satanz little devil I'm in between I feel so mean I want to be your queen The queen of heartz Kiss me with your lizardous tongue that'z freshly tart I've loved you from the start Do you know that I'll carry your name with me Passing us to part Confusion runz through and dartz Dartz away to kiss you But I know you You don't want to You honestly don't want to But you'll never admit to Schmacking to someone else Sheltered Im too sheltered Yet I still know hurt And my loinz melted The moment you lifted my skirt To taste my feminine juicez And now Im losing it Losing it all to you

grrrr
why doez life suck so much? I live with probably the most rude ass people I have ever seen my sister waz on the compuker from 3:20 to like nearly 6 and then she kickz me off just to get on the phone theyre alllll sooo god damned rude then my mom started bitchin at me since i supposedly never do her work for her ugh and I wanna get online to talk to the people I waz talking to and then go look at Taschaz journal so I can get those kick ass songz that she wrote and put them on here Ill make sure to say theyre Taschaz I would never take and put my name on someone elsez work ;p I really wish i could have some of that weed Tascha had if thingz get to the end i guess Ill go for some more monoxide I wish someonez big mouth would get off the phone I waz kind of on the compuker first and Im being really rude right now but gawd doez she deserve it LoL Im such a bitch eih ohhh wellz theyd do the same fuckin thing to me ;p so pay bak iz sweet eih I wanna download some stuff of that band Frontline Assembly Tascha waz talkin about she told me to get Prophecy so if i ever get bak online Ill get it eih Ive had Melissa tellin me about how Tim lovez and wantz me but I honestly dont feel like he doez im really grateful to have everyone that I have but Im really confused about relationshipz right now and I really wish I knew what to do w/myself thiz remindz me I have a kik ass chorus for a new song Im a go write soon eih my gurlpage iz fucked up still they need to straighten out theyre god damned bugz eih laterZ

retarded
eih i forgot to write about somethin kinda retarded my sister came home from her basketball game and told me how her teacher i had last year kept callin me her name in class today lmfao thatz pretty funny cant believe she rememberz me THAT well eih i never gave her any shit but i never really paid attention or did any of my work i mainly sat there writing letterz/songz/poemz while day dreaming about Devon Will Brian or Paul lmfao all ex crushez and ex bfz ;p eih i guess i waz pretty nice to her tho shrugz eih my gurlpage iz bak up and my uhm accountz bak up but they have it screwed up to where my pagez dont show up to change shit on them wish theyd get it fixed! eih I took two tylenol pmz hopefully ill get sleepy soon anyayz laterZ

Hate to Love
Hate to Love. . . Preoccupied? Ill show you preoccupied Face down lying on my bed with your limbz tightly tied I almost died Thatz right Not that you care Not that youll worry I almost died over not having you there Not having you worry I wanted it I wanted it so bad But the fact of in the hunterz trap Fur soft and silky with a loving me waz just something you couldnt bear Not pretty enough Im too inadequate Ill get you while youre sitting on the sofa eating your cheez puffz Foxy little creature caught hue of silver Amythest eyez that will look straight through you to make you quiver But when they looked at you they stopped They tried to see down enough to understand what of her body you robbed You thought it waz funny az hell That you'd fucked her and ran off with the picturez to sell I waz alwayz only a good laugh Next time Ill b the one to laugh And I'll make you want everything I am I've grown to hate to love Ive grown to hate relationshipz and men Love iz just a word you use to get into my pantz and fuck They told me to follow Darwin Are you my Darwin I really don't believe so When will the knowledge kick in? When will the feeling set in When will you stop trying to get in? In to my brain Into my heart? I dont want something that tearz me apart Something that takez all emotion to drain Chorus You say youre distracted Ill show you distracted When I punch in your bloated head You think youre so hot you think youre so sexy Too can play at thiz game Keep it up and you'll soon b in surgery For you new bisectomy You fucked with me You fucked with my mind You must b mad you must b blind If you think you can keep giving me all these hickiez Chorus Love iz a disease Filthier than your virginz bloody sheetz Love iz frail Love iz tender Im something you couldnt handle You ate me for breakfast lunch and dinner All I waz waz a prize on your mantle And Im going to burn down your house with every satanic candle Witch knocking on your door Don't worry I'll let myself in I know you're at the heavenly produce store Look the lightz are on and the doorz open So I know youre home I walked in on you and Snow White That'z right I saw you making out with her Spare me your pity Spare me your fleaz Thiz rufus collaberation of fliez, spiderz, and maggotz labled love iz over!!!

fuck men
okayz tonite haz proven thiz to b the one and worse final day not only did I have all that shit happen in the day time evening letz comtinue on to nite when i saw Tim come on and try and talk to him he basically sat there ignoring me and then acting like he could care less about everything i said i feel like he really could care less about me and doeznt care and honestly doeznt love or want or care about me Im honestly really sick of guyz really sick of the emotion called love and really sick of relationshipz i hate all three to b perfectly honest I wish theyd all seriously go die and stop coming bak to bite me and throw me on my ass I wish Melissa were around to talk to dunno where she went off to Im about to go take some of my tylenol pm I got today Im still pretty sad coz I really dont feel like anyone but Melissa love lovez me or anything eih mahn someone really like confused me tonite hiz namez Shaun and he like did everything he could to get me to stay alive and I guess it worked either the fact that someone cared enough about me to tell me not to go die and actually really give me a hard time and talk me out of it counted or maybe it waz just like the at least 70 hitz of monoxide i took? who knowz wih? Im sure Ill b doing more tomorrow I can alwayz tell when itz gonna come and want me to put it between my lipz eih I cant believe I gave Shaun my blog address now hez gonna read it and think Im a total dong I honestly dont like havin strangerz or ppl I really like like a guy to read it I guess itz actually a bit like a diary eih ohh wellz he wantz to come hassle me about thiz thing tomorrow I might not ever come online tomorrow bwahahahahahaha ;p eih take that ;p mmm I think Im gonna write another song here in a minute I just feel pretty blah I wish I actually would never fall in love again hate relationshipz hate hate hate ohhh yah also gurlpagez wont let me into my account and took away my site stupid bitch thing eih im just so fucked up any more eih I guess itz time to write my song and then take some tylenol pm if I get the song done Ill post it on here laterZ

Said it All
Said it All. . . Nipplez longing to b inside your warm mouth Hard and hollow I wish my peace of mind waz solid In your direction a velvet kiss I blow Evil ladiez I wont tolerate Evil Countess letz celebrate Dancing naked in the rain My memory from your mind iz a part I wish I could erase Do I make a difference? Should I listen Why iz everything alwayz my fault? You say letz talk Whatz there to talk about You said it all You talked it into the ground With your commandz and by telling me I had gone out of boundz My headz spinning around Gremlin screaching her beautiful sound But you only hear it hitting the floor Because every objection to your appocalypse you ignore Erection awakening my dress iz the article of clothing that alwayz getz torn I end up on your bed with my legz spread To kill the pain To fortify the pain Because I never get the right to explain Condemning me for doing actz that were forsaken Take bak whatz rightfully yourz in your believable claim Don't give me the time of day Lock me behind the doorz where no one'z eyez see because you want me dressed and changed No more goth Chorus I don't want to b in your eyez a minor Make sure you confine her Im a legal adult yet you still see me az a criminal Throw me in to the skillet Anastheize me make sure I can't feel it Feel you tearing away my organz and insidez Torturing me for kissing Kissing someone too unsuitable Kiss me again nao to her I waz never listening Never knew falling in love could b tried az prosecutable Chorus Naughty little klept Come on baby deeper letz go I want to feel your breast stroke Narcosistic princess that playz with matchez only to pyro Pyro down your house Are you afraid? Well you should be Youve got a lot to save Im not going to let you What do I have to say For myself or for you? For myself Im badddd For you a lot of thingz But you wouldn't like my trial of hearing Whitely better start disappearing Because Im going to get you No matter what you do You can run but you can't hide Im going to hunt you out I'll make sure to find And then I'll bite down real hard and then Ill make my mount And plant little tiny kissez everywhere

die die die
eih thiz haz been another one of the worse dayz of my life my mom iz such a fucking bitch she pissez me off soooo much i understand that she needz to get the estrogen in her system built bak up but then i know that she fuckin doeznt need to take it out on me either she came in here bitchin at me how my sister wanted to get on here and if the only thing i ever thought of waz myself ohhhh yess i love myself so fuckin much thatz only why im puttin myself down so fuckin much eih and then thiz evening at like around six thirty she dragged me out of the house to go to Kroger to get my medicine she totally made me go she told me if I didnt go she wouldnt get my medicine she made me go so I would have to get off the compuker for my dumb bitch ass sister Amber to b able to get on it eih it really pissed me off my momz such a fucking bitch so we went there to get my medicine and my hair waz a wreck i didnt brush it coz i figured she deserved to have her pushy, hostile, uptight, pedestal, high horse ass embarrassed eih so of course the insurance waz fucked again and we almost couldnt even get it coz it cost sooo much so instead of thinking for myself and say pay whatever for it i said forget it coz i didnt want her to have to spend sooo much money on me I got some tylenol pm, oil of olay soap, and I am now an even bigger klepto I stole a lighter while we were there eih I did it so I could smoke the two fucking cigarettez I stole from her yesterday and I didnt have a lighter thanx to her stealing mine shrugz then we had to go wait on my other stupid sister for an hour who didnt even ride home on the bus she went home w/my dad eihhh i forgot to tell ya a part whenever we were walkin outta the house i told her i would like to talk to someone and so she waz like just every day huh? and i waz like yes itz like the one high light of my every non existing day shez like well youd better find a new highlight shez such a fucking bitch then we bitched at each other for fifteen minutez i knew i waz gettin no where coz shez sooo fuckin close minded so i just shut my mouth and said to hell w/it eih shez such a fucking bitch eih what else went on tonite? came home and smoked my two cigarettez now Im talkin to the SeXy Melissaz and waitin for other ppl ohhh yah my websitez finally bak up!!!!! gurlpagez iz finally fixed and i can finally update my page so kick ass i got really silly pix of Megan and Jamie today theyre cute tho ;p eih I also wrote a song tonite Ill put that up in a few secondz eih I guess thatz all for now so laterZ

yukky yukky yukky
eih another shitty fucked up day haz begun actually it began at 7 am when i waz awoken by my dumb bitch ass family mainly my mom bitching about how "I" had everything turned on she should go look at her stepson hez the one who had the fucking tv turned on and im sorry i fell asleep from not sleeping for fucking ever w/the compuker on Im seriously about to lose it I can only keep all of it together for so fucking long and having to hear her bitch every five secondz iz really tearing on my nervez it made me pretty damned sick when I woke up and that waz not kewl i kept feeling like i waz going to throw up ugh im so fuckin sick of my life im gonna go die i just dont care any more everything blowz ass and right now i have fucking tearz in my eyez im sick of it all im not gonna make it like thiz ive tried everything still cant get my fucking pillz and my momz trying to get me to take a not right day pill of them and thatll just make me sick itz not right why doez my life have to suck soooooo fucking much if it waz anyone else thiz wouldnt b a fucking problem becoz the perfect children are treated like fucking royalty im sick of it sick of it all i dont fucking care any more sure heather letz keep giving you poly cistic ovarian disease so you can fucking rot i dont care any more i just dont care going to go cut myself to piecez now byeZ

Wicked
Wicked. . . Watch her eyez close, watch them never again open Look at her crimson lipz that grown equationally thin Put your handz against her icy skin There liez your skeleton Skeleton wrapped in an exterior epidermis interlocking every atom Screaming their lungz out for freedom Insomniac theatre no sleep for twenty six hourz You really loved her? Iz that why she layz unconscious in thiz coffin of a tower? Love what iz love in your definition I think lust even to you iz only competition You don't understand women I think of you standing laying sittin Doctor said to put me on ritalin But I refused becoz artificial chemicalz Will never get the chance to enter Fluidz are drying and her frigid lipz are turning blue She wanted you Dont you know, couldnt you have known? Cinderellaz slipper fit but you took away her shoe You went for the cheerleader with the strandz of golden tone Whyd you leave me here so numb? Couldn't you least of placed one last kiss on my flesh? You alwayz did have her under your thumb Isolated tension showering trying to wash off your fresh scent It never workz It never escapez my pocket My sexual tension you know you still sky rocket Kiss me on the hard wood floor Shut the door Make sure to lock it No escaping harlotz Keep the ferocious sun'z favorite chariot All for you and your wicked way Chorus Sneak and slip my pantz down Same sad lil smile What more of me will you take? How many more piecez of my soul will you break? How many sorryz will you say for your mistakez? And how many more timez will you rub me just to make me ache Dizzy tension that only leadz to frustrate You have no love left to give me and the lust you have left you fornicate Chorus Fuck me deep Fuck me sweet Fuck me down and inbetween In between the clean sheetz Talk to me dirty Dont let me go No baby no One two three You know honey I never like to keep score I had you plenty But I want more I want to b yourz You can't handle thiz man eating chore Don't continue to lie to me any more You've already let go You stopped loving me You'll only hurt me So it'z time you've learned and the truth from my lipz iz about to b told Covering my bosom up and the fact Im the one in your bed No longer can have my crimson red lipstick seal the secret

bottle of emotionz
eih the shizzy fest continuez on tonite ppl have extremely letz put it my family extremely pissed me off they showed me exactly how unimportant I am first of all came in here bitching at me telling me that id have to get off for my stupid sister becoz her fuck workz so important when im sure shez had all fucking weekend to do it at my dong ass dadz home eih then my mom comez in here throwz me off when im talking to Melissa, Tim, Shaun, Jilly, and Joy gawd that fuckin pissed me off I waz havin the highlight of my day talkin to all my favorite regular ppl and then talkin to thiz really cute guy who I had met like a year ago and shit who sooooo remindz me of my ex bf Will when I first met him when he first fell in love with me and waz sweeter than Ive ever known him to b I kinda miss that I guess ;/ eih tho i had my mother come in here and banish me off saying that what I did on here waz only playing around it didnt amount to much of anything I guess that makez everyone I love including myself a fucking toy if ya know what i mean eih I feel kinda bad for Tascha right now I think shez a bit discourage by relationshipz and eih they do suck but I love Tascha the tyger and me hope shell find someone who know and appreciate for zactly how wonderful she iz eih and then I had to go and sit down in the basement forever w/frozen icky hard nipplez listening to kittie when i waz banished i waz soooo fucking pissed i felt like hitting at something then i discovered my bitch mother had taken my lighter grrrr hate her hate her hate her eih and then i talked to melissa and found out she went and scared ppl by showing my icky nude/semi nude picturez eih i hate those pix bleh eih mahn im about to pass out almost did when i went and sat downstairz 29 and a half hourz dun dun dun how much longer shall i last eih i wrote another song ill post it here in a minute too i guess ill go for now tho laterZ