You are ... Jessica Lovejoy

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Pulp Fiction

. You're known for starting trouble. But you play it cool. Besides, no one can resist your sharp eyes and quick wit. *They* eat from the palm of your hand. Though you have weaknesses, which may have deadly consequences, you, are resurrected, as if the gods themselves breathed immortality into you. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

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I am Peter Gibbons from Office Space. Take the test and find out who you were.

Deeper
Deeper

Return to the sea of passion

Why do i alwayz go crawling bak to you sadly

I promised myself no contact for a month

Here I come

It only took three dayz to make me crack

Iz it becoz your shadow of a smile lookz so comforting

Iz it becoz your mouthz so inviting

Two secondz later the frostbite comez bak

I don't think I love you

Then I wonder do I secretly love you

Am I too conniving

Cover my eyez I can't go on watching

While you're suffering

Your soul and self respect are suffocating

I'm tired of watching

All of our energy draining

I'm looking, I'm searching, I'm digging

For something deeper

Here I am again

In your bed naked lying

You push me into denying

The fact that Im crucifying

Myself in your grasp

You don't answer any of the questionz I ask

I'm lost and I can't feel my own handz

I look into your eyez

I no longer see myself there shining

Chorus

I don't care any more

Watch me disappear through the trap door

Wait she'z evaporated into liquid

She'z the one you kissed

Do you think I'm stupid?

Taste me az bubbly glitter

I'm hiding to prove it

To prove you have to have it

Your whore to my drugz

Why do you keep it?

Chorus

I don't care if I'm not perfect

I don't care if you and I don't work

I don't care if we don't have sex

I don't care if I hate you comez next

I don't care if your handsomeness iznt exact

I don't care if you don't think my beautyz right on track

Are you happy

Too much self deconstruction

Keeping you from lovez seduction

Are you happy

Still thirsty?

You still want me

Face it

You can't conquer it

You didn't hear it from me

Because you never listen to me

Lauren get ready to laugh ;p
have you ever just wanted to stare at a sweet little couple and just rip their clothez off with your teeth when you see them walk by becoz theyre just so appetizing? well I know thiz guy who did. . .one day while Lauren and Amy the sweetest and most sexiest girl couple were walking downtown under the ramen shop to go into the anime store next door thiz extremely generous mahn named Roland came out of the shadowz of the alley staring them both down he walkz over and takez Lauren by the hand "Miss I've never seen anyone lovelier especially not with such a beautiful girlfriend are you for sell?" "HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT!!!! uhhh I mean yah for a million dollarz" "Would you and your lover give me head?" "Just for a million dollarz" The mahn Roland ponderz million dollarz where can I get a million dollarz to buy thiz sweet ass sexy revolutionary anime girl couple ;p so Roland startz walking downtown to where he seez thiz little old diner set up next to a bank first he runz into the bank and robz it and then he runz next door and robz the diner Then he runz bak anticipating and seriously hoping that the girlz were still near the anime store He getz there but doeznt see them so he runz into the shop looking for them theyre not there so he askz the owner "Have you seen an extremely sexy anime girl couple one girl 5'8 with brown hair the other a reddish brown they were carrying some little mahn around?" "ohhh yes I know the couple you speak of they live on Thomas lane" So Roland rushez straight over to Thomas lane looking for their house he goz to every house first off playing ding dong ditch to see if the girlz would come answering the door they never answer so then he goz to door to door asking for them he finally findz the house that they live in and he ringz the doorbell out comez a tall straight haired pretty plain lady "May I help you? arent you a little old for ding dong ditch?" "Yes Im looking for a couple of sexy anime girlz have you seen them?" "oh you must mean my midgetz and dildo loving daughter Lauren and her dildo and whipped cream loving friend Amy come in come in" she bringz him into a bizarre house covered with duo and heero picturez all over the wallz and pokemon and digimon and west wing portraitz he waitz and Lauren comez down "I GOT THE MILLION DOLLARZ I GOT THE MILLION DOLLARZ!!!!" "oh really did you bring me a dildo? did you bring me a whip? did you bring Timmy? coz ya know I love all those thingz " "Even better I brought my little Roland with me" "Wellz come on upstairz and you can meet me and my sexxxxay lover Amy" So he followz Lauren up to her room thatz covered in X-Filez stuff, pokemon, digimon, west wing, rob lowe and other sexy biotch picturez. she sitz down on the bed next to Amy "Okayz Im Lauren and thiz iz my mistress Amy what can we do for ya?" "wellz i waz hoping to get really screwed and tied down and spanked and loved so damned good and can ya give good head?" "we can give ya anything ya like but we must ask have you been a bad boiy?" "a very bad boiy" "good" they start spanking Roland and then they have a steamy passionate wild kinky threesome where Amy and Lauren tie Roland up and just have sex with each other "HEIY WHEREZ MY MILLION DOLLARZ WORTH WHEREZ MY MILLION DOLLARZ WORTH I NEED MY WILD ANIMAL SEX TOO!!!" "oh were sorry i guess we forgot your part shrugz" and then they walk over lick him a bit and play with hiz little Roland and then Lauren startz sucking it while having Amy suck one of her breastz and Roland sucking the other and therez lotz of moaning and bizarre kinky love soundz coming from the bedroom. Laurenz mom knowz better than to go into that door. Then the doorbell ringz again where a group of parading midgetz have formed at the door "WE ARE THE MIDGET LOVING FREAKZ TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!!" "oh you must mean amy and lauren again, upstairz to the left" they go upstairz with Timmy the midget leading the pak of the little rainbow people where they enter Laurenz room and bust the door down and then grab her and Amy and tie them down Timmy startz having wild mad passionate sex with Lauren thiz little midget dude named Drake startz making wild passionate love to Amy and then Sofrita jumpz on Rolandz bak while Serpinto jumpz on the front of Roland they tie him bak down to the bed and start screwing him so hard probing him deep and hard deep and hard in and out in and out "OHHHHHH YES MIDGETZ THIZ IZ THE BEST FAWKIN SEX IVE EVER HAD MORE MORE MORE" and like they go at it all nite long the next day they all wake up in each otherz armz only remembering the midgetz. . .Roland runz for hiz life out the front door becoz he just couldnt handle the major impact of sex more than once in one day ;p

apathetic
eih Im feeling a bit apathetic lately since no one ever listenz to me or my advice shrugz im sick of people and so i may soon disappear and say to hell with everyone those who ned to hear from me and want to hear from me shall they certainly know where to find me ;p Eih I got up to take taschaZ letter out to the mailbox and got inspired and went out bak and saw the horsez and took them applez waz going to feed them all but I didnt see Dixie I've never seen Dixie but i think shez a pretty horse just my intuition of physiogamy since ive heard her neigh before ;p eih so I just fed Shadow, Hershey hiz momma and Sunshine the horse we've had the longest. Eih right after I gave Shadow hiz apple and he ate it i guess he wanted more shrugz but he reached around and bit me eih hez a dong but extremely adorable hez a shy little thing he remindz me of pegasus without the wingz he haz hiz personality and then he lookz exactly like Black Beauty ;p hez a very pretty horse eih then I came bak in watched Passionz and Dayz of our livez eih I so want Sheridan and Luis to get bak together and I want to find out whatz going to happen with Jennifer and Jack ;p eih I feel really bad tho I waz an extreme bitch to Melissa last nite I mean I know everything about her situation and how they have no money for food and shit but still I want to see her eat and b healthy shez alwayz being sick way too often and if itz that bad of a problem I feel she should go and have it fixed becoz if she keepz her shit up long enough shez going to die and Im not going to go thru and lose someone so if she doeznt straighten up I really dont think I can go on talking to her sighz and I love her a lot but I cant stand by and watch her b so cruel to herself ;/ eih I talked to joykinZ shez one of the most fawkin awesome ppl in the world I hope we both get to go to Otokon coz itd really rawk to spend time together ;p ohhh yah cant foget my promise to Lauren Im gonna write a story about her and Roland Ill do it Lauren dont you worry ;p Megan wantz some underwear BIKINI lmfao I still cant believe she told us she wearz bikiniz joykinZ and Lauren lmfao eih Meganz a trip I love her and Jamie theyre kick ass twinz ;p eih wellz what else happened yesterday? ohhh yah talked to someone for a brief two secondz itz gettin better but not bak to where we were ;/ and iz it an extremely bad thing that i dont think im in love any more but extremely want sex from someone and extremely start thinking about kissing? eih im screwed up ill give it time tho if thatz what i need to do shrugz mmm i smell like bow wow thatz what i get for lettin him lick me to death lol eih im getting kinda tired so I guess Ill go and write that story and post my new song deeper laterZ ;p

life blowz
eih my life blowz thiz haz been another extremely sucky today and ive been sick twice today my breastz are being so fawking sensitive and that blowz too and Im really sick of heaing people whine bitch and moan about how theyre hated how they have no one when they only have a great person like basically alwayz talking to them when theyre around ugh I have the hiccupz anyayz bak to thiz issue Im sick of hearing people pretend like theyre all alone when Im the one whoz really alone and then guess what else? I've waited four fawkin monthz and I got turned down for my disability Im only almost blind but eih I got turned down doez anyone believe in the superstition of bad luck? coz i really think i did something to get it! eih im just sooooo sick of people I miss Tascha I hope she wakez up soon Tascha rawkz ;p eih I saw all the anime people today but I've been soooo out of it i really havent felt like talking and i hate guyz eih i guess ill talk more laterZ

Gingerbread Woman
Gingerbread Woman

I'm giving up on you I'm saying fuck you I'm saying to hell with you Fucking drunken bastard Every billboardz plastered With your mugshot picture Felon of a butcher The authoritiez want you With your record no wonder

I'm just trying to figure out how he doez it to me Twisting my faith around changing my personality I'm not talking to you You don't deserve to have me love you I wanted you I wanted you so bad you said fuck you I wish I understood you Lover Lover What can I do for you?

Your liez place too great of a demand You can't fix me no matter how many timez you wave your magic wand Are you really a mahn? You pushed me beyond You pushed me away for a blond Speed demoness on the run You want some Catch me if you can

Chorus

I don't like to see you hurting So stop It killz me to see you flirting Dancing wit the vaccume and the mop I'm the one you're hurting Walk around in flip flopz Leave me behind what waz I thinking You don't care my love'z the thing you're abandoning

Chorus

Why are you rushing To get rid of me Why are you pushing To not love me Why are you smushing Everything Why are you shutting The door on you and me Why are you throwing The emotionz of us away Why are you rejecting Forcing me to b a stray Crawling on your belly Elusively coming bak to me I don't feel like punching a time clock to destiny Catch me if you can i'm the gingerbread woman

eih my day
eih another bleh day i dont feel so great i feel pretty damned nauscious again bleh bleh bleh eih waiting for dayz of our livez to come on not coming on til one since some dumb NCAA thingyz on at 11 eih Im so bored and Melissaz not talking that much wonder what shez doing wonder what everyonez doing itz been two dayz since ive talked to mister wonderful and dont think Ill b doing that for any time soon i wrote another song today if I can get my bitch ass mouse to work and go get my notebook and feel like it I'll type it ou ack message from Melissa watch me not b able to get my mouse to go that far eih she'll have to wait til I get thiz entry finished I WANT SEX lmfao im such a little nymphomaniac eih my songz called gingerbread woman if i didnt mention that eih iz it weird that I find it sexy when I drink kool aid from a wine glass? lmfao yes Im crazy I miss taschaZ the tyger and all the anime pplz oh wellz i guess ill talk to everyone later if i can get mah mouse to work laterZ im bored

story ;p
eih I promised Megan I waz going to write a story about her so here it comez thiz will b funny az hell ;p

There once upon a time lived a set of twinz in Illinois they were both very very and extremely promiscuous actually they were dongz that hid their promiscuousness they were really finally when they set off on a journey became corrupted. . .it all started with that pesky lust inside of Meganz stomach it nawed and pestered her until it just couldnt stay in any longer it all started one nite when she had to go downtown of Japan to a strip club to see the "her" Michelle Kwan take it all off. She had to do it or she would fail the course of Nudeology 101 She worked at Hooterz so she waz quite used to taking it all off herself and doing the greatest of lapdancez so she waznt all that afraid to b going into a strip club. She entered and went straight to the table of her awaiting class matez. "MEGAN MEGAN GOOD YOU HAVENT MISSED HER MICHELLE KWANZ ABOUT TO COME ON" Megan drooling "mmm baby!!!!" Michelle Kwan comez out wearing a leather tight mini skirt a leopard skin midriff a pair of knee knigh black leather bootz and holding a black leather whip w/silver handle in my hand "Do you ladiez and nastay nastay men think you can take me?" She didnt take her eyez off of Megan for one instant drool waz coming down Meganz chin Michelle walkz straight over to Meganz table First taking off her midriff top and leaving it on the table for the men to fight over she takez Megan by the hand and leadz her on stage Then taking off her skirt throwing it to the audience naked starting to whip Megan "TAKE IT OFF BIOTCH TAKE IT OFF!!!!!" She makez Megan feel so damned uncomftorable All the men are screaming Megan Megan Megaan and so she blushinly startz taking off her jeanz and long sleeved shirt The crowdz going crazy Michelle then slowly kissez Megan taking her bakstage MMM BABY WE WANT PICTUREZ!!!! Megan had to take a picture of her and Michelle completely naked to get an A+ on her exam. Michelle givez Megan her number and tellz her to come see her tomorrow at five at the skating rink. Megan startz going bak to her residence family where to her surprise all of her anime club buddiez have come to see her. She then iz told that they all have ticketz for the huge V6 concert tonite and theyre taking her and Jamie. So they go there and Megan buyz a fan with Okadaz name on it waving it straight in the air he comez down into the audience grabz her and takez her on stage saying Ill never let you go my darling Somehow Megan endz up in Okadaz bed and they start making passionate beautiful love and then just you hear Ohhhhhhh Ohhhhh Okada take me take me NOW!!!!!! so damned loudly Then all of a sudden Michelle Kwan walkz in "Megan how could you how could you with a mahn?" "She lookz at Okada Ill battle you for her on the ice" he tellz her youre on so the next day at the rink Meganz sitting in the front row of the escapade contest and then all of Meganz friendz are sitting around screaming "BISHY BISHY BISHY" and Okada and Michelle Kwan are out battling on the ice First Okada hitz Michelle then Michelle hitz Okada over and over "YOU BIG WIMP BISHY" "YOU UGLY NO GOOD SKATIN BITCH" they throw each other down and then all of a sudden for her pratice Tara Lipinzky walkz in "Michelle my darling come to me come to me come to me" Michelle runz to Tara and startz kissing her "Take your lousy Okada Megan" Megan kissez Okada passionately Okada and Megan get married and have three children two dogz and a cat. Jamie however ran off with the little old lady from the Wedding Singer ;p

YAY YAY YAY
ohhhh mahn wicked day yesterday mahn I gotta tell ya about what happened tho I guess eih? wellz it started out shitty I watched my favorite soap operaz Passionz and dayz of our livez eih LUIS AND SHERIDAN FINALLY REUNITED ON PASSIONZ!!!!!!!! I want to know whatz going to happen w/Jennifer and Jack on DOOL eih then I came and talked to Melissa I waz kinda goin in between commercial breakz lmfao runnin bak and forth from here to my momz room ;p eih then I came and wrote the little poem called Go on here and then I just totally zonked and fell asleep bleh eih then I slept til like 6 somethin uh oh I hear tyger boiyz alert going off lmfao anyayz then after I woke up I waited a bit came online and then talked to some ppl but a lotta shitty stuff happened such az a dong guy hating me DIE DIE DIE MEN SUCK MEN SUCK DIE DUDE DIE!!!!!! eih he aint worth me worryin over na na na I think Im all big ass and awesome but there are soooo many guyz out there better than me coz Im an asshole lmfao thatz how I feel on it eih I waz feelin so fawkin bummed and so fawkin sucky but then Ive heard sooo many ppl are going to Otokon I REALLY wanna go itz not til July itz in Baltimore I wanna go and see all my kick ass friendz and I hope Melissa will get to go too then itd b me Megan, Jamie, Chloe, Jenna, Lauren, Becca, Joy, Cali, Melissa, Tascha-yes I'd get to see Tascha and tyger boiy!!! gawd thatd b so fawkin kick ass me and tyger could go off and have sooooo much fun together ;p eih I gotta talk to my mom about it but if I get money from the government like Im supposed to maybe Ill get to go please please please? thiz would so kick ass it just makez me say eih fawk being all sad when youre going to b seein awesomer ppl ;p eih uhm if I do get to go I am going to streak yes Megan and Jamie will kill me ;p but gawd it will b so much fawkin fun really hope itz goin to happen laterZ ;p

the Morning After
the Morning After

I want to scratch your eyez out Go ahead and spit it out Say that you hate me Go on you're the one who wanted to b mister nasty I no longer want you to touch me You made me America'z #1 sweetest dumpstee And you no longer are going to own any lady Because none will b so trusting Of a louse of a snake of a bishy wanna be fake You're an experiment better for outside my laboratory

You think I want you now? It'z the morning after You think I want you to have it now? When you've proved to touch me and make it feel like rubber? You think I want you to kiss me now? When your lipz only quiver? Tasting like salt and pepper Too salty to thick Too slippery too slick You won't b happy Without a nice porn flick And I don't want it So don't try it I have it I HAVE IT All curled up in my clawz And youll b whining when I cut off your ballz Whoz the queen? I CANT HEAR YOU!!!!

Put on my star studded bootz Put down my gun What do ya know you no longer look too cute I said give me my gun I don't want you when you're insecure I do have a gun I'll draw it on you in a blur Don't touch me Call in security So that the mad mahn doezn't get any Get any more of a sexual attitude

Chorus

You expect me to want you? Oh but I used to But you couldn't keep me No you and I both lost control I never had control Because I waz still trying to collide with your soul I loved you so much I finally did burst Burst into tiny little millionz of piecez You want a piece? To keepz a memorabilia Maybe you can get a picture when from room to room I streak When I'm finished the holy are going to hate me

Chorus

Had enough? Want some more Want me to get really out of touch? Let the champagne pour You can get me tipsy But I think you really want to see me kinky I'm sorry I already gave you everything!!! You saw me nude You saw me sweet You saw me blue You saw me not eat for a week You saw me in every hue But you pushed me away NO NO NO No freakz Are admiited or allowed Lonely heart parliament And I want to b the man eating department So I can take your virgin ass and kill you Ill drink and bathe in your blood to become more beautiful

Won't Go
Won't Go

Bed awaitz the princess Lock me away kind sir of a gentleman Trap me in the secret entrance Drown out my criez with your swooping lipz of passion Turn me into your prisoner of awakening Silence my fear thatz beckoning You wont let me go You've tied my limbz down and the answerz no You want some You know you want some Dont b so cumbersome Giving it to me bad once just once wont satisfy the hunger And I grow quiet in my drugged slumber Kiss me to wake me up But i wont let you have my breastz to cup The answer in your mouth iz yes You tell me to b your guest But I unwillingly dont want to b your guest I know youre going to leave And throw away all the keyz My limbz are now freed But you still wont go You arent going no where Stare me down in conscious'z ego I'm your guilty lover If she won't take the bit in her mouth make her! Running away only makez her suffer You should just tell her you love her Undo the gate Undo the drawbridge Hold her tight and she'll stay Under your thumb with her resting under your chin Kiss her softly before itz too late Shez your princess for your decision undpredictable gentleman You hold destiny's temptation in your hand Treat her well And she'll treat you ten foldz sweeter Treat her awful She'll curse you to hell Treat her inbetween and she'll spit you out and you'll b kissing a mahn in the theatre

All yourz
All yourz

Gone for you I used to belong to you Now Im absolutely nothing to you I still want you My mind holdz on to you Itz never gotten rid of you I no longer belong to you I dream of kissing you I dream of lipz carved into a smile Half way I meet you In the dead of spring or maybe itz summer Itz warmer There than Ive ever felt There you want to hold her There you know nothing of her There you only want to kiss her Up and down Push me down Onto the soft slippery grass Like you used to When we watched the cloudz And dreamed of ourselvez in that sky When you proclaimed my eyez held the rainbow Pulling bak a lock of gold I'm laying in hiz bed and my body against hiz feelz so cold It doeznt feel like itz supposed to Thinking, dreaming, sleeping Make love to me like you used to And I see you my breathing iz quickening Touch me like you used to Say my name like you used to If you're out there light a candle I feel and see the flame YOU'VE COME FOR ME!!! You're here for me I feel you intentionally And the light perceivez your sensitivity Drifting in the wind and then suddenly the flame blowz out NAO NAO NAO!!! PLEASE DON'T GO Don't leave me Don't give up on me I'll make you see me I'll throw myself into you personally I'll give you anything Just don't go Running out of hiz bedroom I must find you I must feel you No one else matterz No one else will ever matter Im yourz Whether you want to have me or not Im yourz Im not going anywhere Not until you answer me Do you love me or do you hate me I need to know I need to know you I need to hear you I need to have you touch my inner truth I want to kiss you Itz been so long Too damned long And I need you now Don't deny it I know you want it to And even though maybe you gave up on us I can make you change your mind I can make you come bak to me Just take me Take me away from living seperately Kiss me Look at me in my underwear I want you to see every part of me You need to see my under garmentz You need to touch all of me I have no right to b embarrassed Not in front of you And if you want to watch me naked under the moon You have every right Because between your and my eyez Belong no secretz Iz that where I went wrong? Iz that where I hurt you for so long? By not showing you my inner appearance? By not showing you the whole masterpiece? You deserve it whether Im on candid camera'z lenz I deserve to have you whether you want to believe my interference And I deserve you becoz no one else will ever love you az much az me I give to you my whole self Every single trace Whether youll accept me ever again will have to answer itself But I love you just meet me half way

hmmm . . .
hmmm Im confused az hell and did have butterfliez in my stomach but i guess thatz besidez the point coz im not tellin ya about that one ;p just waz thinkin about someone i hope i get to see soon shhh ;p eih anyayz I think that the dong named Shaun yes you are a really really big dong brought somethin to my attention even tho he doeznt like me bwahahahaha na na na Melissa doo you aint ever gonna win that bet about gettin someone to say they sexually love me lmfao You'd better pray for a miracle SeXy thang ;p Anyayz he brought up the fact the only person that I honestly mention in about every entry iz Melissa so I guess I should start talkin about everyone else I guess Im just usually so out of it and worried from Melissaz stuntz that shez mainly on my mind I kinda worry about her she needz to start behaving her ass anyayz, tonite Im gonna try and talk about most ppl such az letz see I havent talked to taschaZ today I miss her kinda badly shez one of my favorite people in the whole wide world ;/ Eih joykinZ you rawk too you alwayz wanting to see my gay poetry joykinZ you have a nice voice and you need to get outta that gundam!!! joykinZ iz a really good person so don't mind thiz eih Joykinz told me that theyre bringin bak one of my favorite showz thatz my Bush pretty damned kewl ;p eih Joykinz rawkz ;p eih letz see I talked to Megan who wantz Michelle Kwan bwahahahahaha And Jamie who wouldnt shut up about West Wing ya dongz I love ya both lotz hmm wonder if you all are going to buy Atlantis tomorrow since itz comin out I bet ya anything my niece Cameron WILL have thiz movie she haz every fawkin Disney movie there iz eih what else to say about Megan and Jamie eih Meganz been havin fitz over Otakuz and how most Japanese fanz are placed there when they arent The thing of an Otaku iz a majorly devoted fan who doeznt stop in their obsession of an activity to bathe, eat, sleep, etc and Otokon waz somehow named after Otaku weird eih? eih im really pissed off right now just ended a friendship coz the person just turned out to b totally evil totally weird but im glad I know that they finally hate me so i no longer give a flying fawk better off without their stuck up ass if theyre gonna b like that shrugz eih I love Saru she totally rawkz thanx for helpin me out tonite by imin person for me Saru you are one of the best pplz ;p eih uhm I got to talk to taschaZ more she rawkz without a doubt ;p uhm letz see what else? Beckerz rawkz too didnt really hear that much out of her but she rawkz tyger boiy rawkz too he imed me last nite just to tell me about Garbagez new uk single got two new Garbage songz Enough iz never enough my favorite and Use me both totally rawk ive been downloading music all day totally kewl ass shit I need to write Christina a letter i havent done monoxide for like four dayz now been feelin to bleh for it I wanna thank Okada for makin me feel wanted I waz thinkin about leavin coz of the dongerz all around me but fawk the dongerz im a take their namez off all my listz and never bother to think about them again theyre not worth my time course my mind wont allow thiz but itll go away w/time and i just wont fawkin care who else to write about? ;p uhm I gotta see Chrissie today havent seen her for a while eih saw Jenna letz see I heard from Moni yesterday I wrote her an email and she actually replied that waz pretty fawkin kewl mahn I forgot to tell jilly about that ive been havin such bad dayz lately my mindz out there i really wish i didnt exist right now im going to give myself a spinal tap so ill forget everything coz i feel really alone right now i just wish thingz were better. . .;/

laterZ

az you can probably tell. . .
Az you can prolly tell lately Ive been feeling a bit left out of other peoplez livez wellz a lot cept for taschaZ, jillyZ, joykinZ, eih jamieZ, meganZ, other ppm tho I just feel like they love to ignore me and tell me nothing and someone if you think thiz iz you i wouldnt b so fawkin sur eget your fawkin factz straight first coz i love to say the word fawkin dont you love to fawk? eih anyayz someonez had me a bit peeved not pissed coz they dont wanna see me pissed coz i woulda said a whole lot more and made them and prolly myself feel a hell of a lot worse eih tho itz just like theyre leavine me out and tiz been so bizarre not a clue to az of what theyre problem iz i wish the maturity level would reisen with people and they could open their mindz and b completely honest with otherz ya dig what im saying? eih and im just so fawkin tired right now i havent gone to bed for twenty six hourz stayed up for like nearly forty until like seven thirty in the morning yesterday did a lot wellz wayyyy too much monoxide once again last nite coz i waz just so fawkin outta it from thingz that no one whoz reading thiz will know eih uhm letz see just dead i guess and sick all day and just bleh hate myself anyayz i felt like posing somethiin about myself since i really havent wrote all that much lately but eih ill talk laterZ

Devious
Devious

I don't belong to you NO I CANT BELONG TO YOU Quit asking me to To take all the barriers between us away How can I b the one to take away the hurt when youre the one who pushed it into place? Im sick of knowing that youre only on a female chase Booty call Gather around all So I can fuck you one by one Let me have bak my thunder Give me bak my lightning Make thiz bitch mad and youll enter a whirl wind that only provez to b frightenting I don't belong How could I belong? You act like you don't know my name You dont stick around to hear my name You leave without a word To me you don't have a reason to say a word Im just a part of the growing disorder Or maybe Im part of your chaos You sell me for a quarter You deny me each time you say no Bak and forth Bak and forth I rock myself to sleep I fall asleep in the open streetz corner No one watchez no onez passing by I dream that under your body I can fly I dream of the way I feel ecstasy But I wake up to empty wooden armz I wake up with alcohol or monoxide in my stomach And I feel each opening in my soul iz brassly tarnished Automatically I crack up Because itz all I can do to keep myself from losing myself to you To you the devil you 2 inchez taller than me lummax Im surrounded by lunatics But do you really honestly feel the needles fasten on my skin Do you feel the sharp prick My heart takez each time I see you come near But dont stay to finish Dont attempt to listen To my needz to my fantasy? What are you? A FUCKING COWARD If you cared at all you'd at least hear it out You think you're so swift enarmoring all the power Pluck my limbz and lipz like the petalz of a frozen flower Throw me in the shower Turn on the icy cold water Lock me in for half an hour Hope you hear me come to and orgazm Just once to hear me sing Chiasm You wont get your wish You wont ever b able to look at me in any other manner but sheepish And Ill never look you again in the eyez Im sick of being told little white liez Im sick of kissing away your criez Im sick of licking your woundz clean of fresh pity Because I take it all bak to plasticity And I cant handle the fawking hypocrisy And I grow nauscious Completely atrocious And the danger of possibly getting hurt has moved way past being cautious Im tired of spending late nitez insomnious And dont let my temperment prove to b odious If it doez You told me to think of you thiz way when you were constantly being devious

Whisper
Whisper

Do you hear me Is my microphone on? I feel like Im made out of recycled paper sliced thinly You don't understand me You don't hear me You don't announce me You don't cheer for me You pierce your aloof eyez straight through me At least Im living like you wanted it to b Completely alone like you wanted me to b So you could put away your jealousy Keep it on hold To make it feel less embarrassing To make sure the truth never showed That you wanted me more than you wanted to say I'm so sorry That you like it to keep it all a secret But Im so fawkin sick of feeling empty Im so sick of having the feeling of talking to thin air I'm so sick of you feeling like you're preventing me from creating danger Im so sick of you feeling more like a stranger Than some person really estranged And Im sick of having my kneez scraped and banged Im more than a cyborg whoz been properly trained Properly trained to do every command in your force field To do every action your voice wieldz Im sick of putting every second of my time into thiz And never getting anything bak in any circumstance Nothing I do Nothng I say Ever getz understood or heard I open up my heart But you don't look inside I open up my armz But you refuse to take the dive!! I open up my mind And I let you read my imagination But you don't enjoy the loose and free style creativity you find Go to the central nervous system go inside my brainz station Don't appreciate it when you slip and learn something that I wouldnt easily confide Will you all talk about me Will you use it az key source information For money? To use against me? To hurt me? Once again? Have I been sucked in? To another chauvinistic type of lie? Have I been thrown in To another piece of vanilla sky? Have I been swallowed down Why don't you notice the blood that pourz from my blue eyez? FACE LOOK AT MY FACE AZ IT POURZ OVER TO FIXATE A CRIMSON FROWN No don't notice my soul Don't notice how much I give you Because itz never what you want Itz never full control Itz never giving you my rightz my freedom of choice Little girl just another piece of cunt Im sick of you and your smile of fixodent It'z all a lie one gigantic lie Thatz me your canary and pink slipz of paper that suffice Twin of fire Twin of Ice What do you want to swing by Drive on by Dont stop for the damsel in distressez cry Choose not to hear me But then doez that mean I should choose not hear you? Let me feel all crazy Doez it mean I shouldnt help you? Im beginning to think so Deeper and soggier In my ear let your hot steamy breath blow But never finish what you start when the game getz trippier Never let me know That you're lipz are going to go That you aren't going any more and the feeling getz shittier And Im sick of being in the middle Of you and your precious breastz and dimplez Im not going to let myself sink to swim any filthier GO FOR YOUR DREAM IM NOTHING SO DON'T TELL ME IF LOVING ME IZ WRONG YOU DON'T WANT TO B RIGHT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY ARE LYING AND YOURE RIGHT TOTALLY RIGHT ADMIT YOU WANT ME OUT OF YOUR SIGHT. . . .

I'm tired of being heard az a whisper I want to b heard at full volume Excuse me if thiz doez arouse my temper The moment you hear me the better

Low
Low

I hate myself but you wouldnt know I despise myself but again you wouldnt know You don't listen you dont watch I go unnoticed thru out the whole anime project You could care less coz youre just too busy worrying about the starZ Youre too busy worrying about am i the star? Let me tell you know im the fawkin porn star Maybe Im not righteous Maybe im not pious Maybe Im not loveable maybe im not huggable You piss me off when you don't notice any fawkin wordz i say You piss me off when you know me and then dont know me the next day Im tired of being left out of the spotlight I want to b the star for just one fawkin day of your three hundred year old livez You dont care You REALLY DONT CARE!!! Too wrapped up in the sea of cloth Too busy speaking to ever fully appreciate the goth Too busy just stick her curled up in the corner Too busy must make the show go on even if her life iz a disaster No we never can stop to say heiy whatz wrong? Heiy why do you feel so mellow? Why doez your face look so long? Why doez your heart have so much pain and sosrow No No No Don't worry about me Im not important enough to have your sympathy And if I did get it it would probably b fake So please dont waste it on me Instead waste it on yourself Waste it on wiping your own ass Im sick of being the fawking chyna doll made out of your transparent glass Will I ever b normal Will I ever b a part of the group? No I can never b normal Because everyone else iz and I am not Im part of the censor goof troop Im a no body because you don't want to notice my definition I'm too wicked for your damning corruption Im not related to one of the men Because Im too fawkin headstrong to ever let one in Im too stubborn to say fine take over my rightz Fine let me sit here and b silent While you make all the movez Im brave enough to call all of you pussiez But you don't hear me So why open my fawking mouth? Im so tired of being invisible Im so tired of being sucked in To wanting to belong and b accepted Im so tired of being left behind That I wont say a word to your gawd damned face I wont give you the satisfaction or piece of mind Of knowing you won to make me feel like I belong in the crowd of last place No I won't let you get me down Because I don't need you!!! I can do fine all on my own Whatz that you want me to come bak? Whatz that you miss me since you've been dethroned? Im sorry your majesty but I don't ever want to go bak Where you can make me feel so fucking low

new perspective
yah I've got a new persepective on the outer view of thingz and I dunno I feel like I scare certain guyz off and that maybe im chasing them like a puppy dog/cat/just crazed lunatic when they don't even know me maybe I've came on way too strong and if that iz the case they shouldnt have to feel or worry about anything coz Im sick of trying to amek every fucking impossible thing work becoz I cant I really cant Im gonna go crawling bak to Brian soon az I get the chance becoz at least there I know what Im dealing with and if I ger hurt or disappointed by him no big thing itz happened before im just sick of trying to do everything else itz not worth my time nor my effort so if youre trying to avoid me really ya dont have to dont wanna b seen all that much any more going to collapse really soon but just wanted to write these thoughtz down while they were in her head going straight after him and sorry for the people Ive scared to death eih Im gonna go now and either fall asleep or wait for Melissa laterZ