Heaven lying in Hell'z bak door

God I don't know where to begin thiz entry I really can't even remember what I said in the last one sighZ suppose I should look at that for a few momentz even tho I'm god fucking tired. I'm sitting here thinking I guess I'll begin with the deterioration of the relationship I thought I might be able to somewhat build on that involved Andrew. He turned out to be such a fucking dickhead of a liar who used honesty for spinning hiz web of deceit.

heiy I wanted to write and just say some thingz where I've felt kind of awkward when approaching you to have a conversation and I'm blaming it on myself because I probably came on too strong sexually and too strong wanting someone for a relationship and I wanted to apologize for that and make sure that you knew that you shouldn't feel obligated to do anything to me. It just seemz like I kinda disappointed you or something by showing you the way I look and hell yeah I know I am extremely not pretty one of the biggest reasonz I hate myself but I try and not let it bother me too oftenly or at least not let it escape to bring other people down from knowing me. Just to let ya know I really like you az a person because when I first started talking to you you seemed really ncie and easy to talk to and maybe I got the wrong impression because you were hoping for me to be something better than what I am and if thatz the case I'm really sorry shrugz but eih not really my fault I can't help what I am or what I look like well yes I could but that route I'd really rather not go bak down again it took a lot to get me stop that one shrugz I won't get into that though since I'm sure you want to know nothing about it I just wanted to have you az a friend but if you want nothing to do with me or don't want to talk to me please do me the favor of not ignoring me and just tell me to go away thanx

hmm thatz the first email I attempted at writing him he wrote bak telling me how I waz completely wrong and how much he did like talking to me for my personality and how he admitted I probably waznt one of the hottest girlz he'd ever seen but I'd more than likely make the perfect girlfriend. blah blah blah! So to that I wrote him bak and said yeah I must be being incredibly paranoid and stuff but just felt like people put way too much emphasis and influence in the way a person lookz because ninety nine percent of people are so fucking shallow any more and just said some other stuff and like eih shyeah he never wrote bak to that one. Eih then we got into thiz mega huge discussion while I waz on the phone with Melissa I think about a week ago and like eih I waz saying how like I try and ask people to kill me and like see how long if I keep it up they'll stay around me and he waz like trying to say I waz trying to control people and just shit like that and he waz being all weird and I waz out of it from my medz.and he ended up calling me weird and shit and making it sound so fucking demeaning like I wazn't good enough for him and not good enough for him to talk to so I wrote thiz

hmmm I have to explain last night since I know I came across and said some shit that I can't even remember exactly what I saidI I waz just mega out of it shouldnt have taken that stuff for three nightz just trying to make sure to keep the stuff balanced sighz and so anyayz, I want you to know that I don't try and control anyone with my life itz just that I usually fall in love with someone who can't handle me amd I'm so fucking depressed and unhappy that I really do want to die quite a bit and eih I'll usually say it unless I'm just around someone that I'm hiding it from and just don't want to bring it up ;x ;/ anyayz, shyeah itz not that I KNOW for absolutely sure it'll drive them away or make them leave me I'm just pretty sure myself will in the end and my hope iz that someone will give me a good enough reason to stop it and PROVE they really do care about me and shit ive so far really only found people like that az friendz shrugz VERY good friendz. hmm and shyeah i guess i definitely am afraid of getting close to anyone because of it because I know my morbidness will eventually make them go looking for something much better sighz Anyayz, also I waz not pissed off at you last night I waz just pissed off at the way you made your comment like you were kind of making it demeaning and making me out to have a bad thing by being different from every other girl. Yes, I am EXTREMELY weird I guess a person with az much fucking emotional baggage az I do would have to be that way. Anyayz, I may be weird, strange, odd, queer, whatever I am, I make that apparent to anyone who talkz to me usually straight off and I'm sorry if I'm just too weird. excuse me for not being a conformist and stating clearly to the lawz of being an individual ;/ Next, yes I am not one of those silly, giggling, empty headed, sex orientated, innocent, ditzy, bimbo, more than likely going to be either naturally or dyed blonde hair, stupid, little Barbie like fragile plastic perfectly fine with becoming any mahnz trophy femalez. excuse me for having the brain to think. If you want to compare me to any female, please do so to Shirley Manson, any one of the memberz of Kittie, any one of the memberz of Jack off Jill, the Lunachickz, and Babes of Toyland. Because I have that kind of determination, strength, domination, incredibility, and notgoing to let anyone who putz me down get me down or get in my way so excuse me for not being your typical pretty pretty little princess ;/

and so he wrote bak saying he should have never of said that stuff and just that I am very weird and stuff and just that he didn't mean it in a bad way or something it waz all basically a lot of bull shit. because yeah I think it waz that night he just started to try and get onto the subject of sex again and I made it apparently clear I wazn't giving in to anyone at a first encounter and wazn't giving myself to anyone any time soon either I'd had had enough of meaningless sex without any type of love involved and the next time I ever had sex it would be with someoen I TRULY loved. Let'z see so we got into discussionz about that and he waz like shyeah I could never be with someone who wazn't clean and then he didn't want me because I waz somewhat bi and would supposedly be more tempted to cheat on him with the same sex riiiiiight. the girl I want right now livez in Texas so shyeah cheating on you with herz just going to b a bit hard ;x If i have the right person I usually end up forgetting about everyone but that person. and so we ended thiz conversation with how hard love iz to find and I told him until he can find it he can stay with me and keep going insane. He'z like insane never so I waz like fine annoyed and crazy-like and he like repliez i dunno and I just left. I waz sick of putting up with hiz mind gamez Then like i came online another night attempting to talk to him and he waz acting all sad so I asked what'z wrong why are you depressed and he wouldn't tell me like he didn't trust me enough just to tell me what waz bothering him ya know that'z when i kinda started to explode and started prying doing my best to try and get him to talk to me yet he wouldn't and he gave me some comment of I should mind my business and respect that he didn't want to tell me so I said who sayz I fucking care? and signed off just sick of it all and wrote him thiz email.

heiy I shouldn't have left or acted like that I waz being a total bitch but to be quite honest Andrew I'm sick of your bull shit I'm sick and tired you supposedly being my friend and with az much shit az I've told you and gotten across to you you still don't trust me or respect my trust enough az a friend so if you want anything to do with me, I the great strange little weird exciting great to talk to incredible at listening and trying my best to do what i can to help anyone, then the thiz can't keep going on. You can't keep trying to pretend with me. You have to stop playing the game of cat and mouse with me. Because, to be quite frank, I'm TIRED of playing your fucking mind gamez and if you want someone to actually be there for you since I know since you're just az lonely az I am of afraid of being alone and don't fucking deny it then stop it and fucking let me in and actually talk to me! otherwise please block me because I'm tired of being your second rate play toy thatz only good for stating half the problem and being left in a trap and state of confusion whether you like me and want to talk to me in any way or what I'm not going to let you make me wonder and worry if you're going to say hello or not I'm not taking any of it from anyone any more you either tell me what the hell you want or leave it at that

so then he wrote bak saying

Heather, Since u were honest in ur email i will be totally honest with you theres things about u that are hard to take expecially if u dont know which way to take them like when u ask certain questions i dont know why u might ask em , and SOMETHINGS about me its hard for me to say because i honestly don't know why i will feel a certain way about many certain things all in different days and different times and i guess thats what makes me, ME and what makes YOU , you. I mean in a lot of ways I do trust you but in some ways its hard for me to trust someone over the computer, I mean yeah we talk a lot and yah i have gotten closer to you than u have gotten to me. But i guess honestly if you think i am playing games (which i am not) then that is ur personal feelings and u are intitled to say wat u think but I do not see how u think i am playing games. But n e ways I just am a hard person to get to understand, well im gonna end this email by saying one thing maybe i will open up to you but honestly it will take time

so then that made me a bit even more mad so I wrote bak saying

mrow well when it feelz like someonez playing head gamez with me and i will know when it'z going on because unlike probably most of the femalez here in thiz hellish state youve been associated with I do ahve a brain and yes I will shock the hell out of you and I'm not one bit afraid to do it and I'm not going to be sorry about doing it either and I won't be sorry for how I am or what I am either because I'm not the least bit ashamed of it I'm quite fucking proud to be unlike any other superficial little red neck, slut, asshole, wanna be person whoz interlocked themselvez in some shell and pretend to not be like conformistz and so much different but deep down iz no different from the next poster and the next asshole thatz got nothing to show for themselvez and excuse me for asking questionz I thought when someone awntz to talk to someone that they're allowed to ask questionz oopz I didn't know we weren't allowed to ask questionz about you! Just to let you know I ask a question because I'm curious and I'm thinking and I feel the need to find thingz out just to know what I'm dealing with and shyeah izn't every person different in their own way? That haz NOTHING to do with anything because I mean let'z be honest you're problem iz deep down you're scared and shyeah excuse me for not being some paranoid little bitch who can't open herself up because she knowz if she wantz to get anywhere she'll have to. You know that'z the reason you can't find love you're not willing enough to stop being afraid to take the risk of getting hurt. Pain iz just an every common thing of life az you say differencez are so hmm all I can say iz realize that

so after I wrote that I immediately left and it waz either later that night or the next night like he imz me saying that he shouldn't have acted like that and he had been being a jerk and I said it waz probably my fault for pushing him so hard and he said no and I thought we fixed it all with the way we started talking. But eih I guess not since I tried iming him for three dayz straight after that and I got absolutely no answer ever bak. So I guess myhonesty with a mahn just got me no where because I ended up just having him say to hell with me and ditch me shrugz I about give up on a lot of thingz any more.

hmmm like Thursday night Katie and I were talking and she waz asking me about Josh and hiz supposed gf he'd told her about and I waz like eih i don't know haven't talked to either one and haven't given either one any thought and we got into thiz convo mrow I'm keep thiz secretly confidential between me and Katie ;p and like eih shyeah she noticed he waz on and dared me to go ask him how hiz junior slut gf waz so like I did lol and weirdly we started talking eih the first time I'd talked to him in like over two monthz and I said a lot of shit the shit that I felt at that moment mrow coz I'm just like that I say whatever'z on my mind when I fucking want to. I might not alwayz because I can sometimez get afraid of being made fun of since I've gotten that shit too much ;/ eih so he startz talking to me about like one of hiz friendz saying he wanted to like get hooked up with me or something I'm thinking yeah riiiiiight sure. so he like givez me hiz screen name but that night I stupidly forgot to write it down. so like eih we talked again the next night ironic eih? and he gave me it again so I started talking to hiz friend Don like Sunday night lol eih we sat there debating whether I'm hot or not which I am specifically NOT! shyeah though that like first night Josh told me to go talk to him all I knew waz he'd been with Dani Josh'd told me that tho when I waz with him and Dani wanted a threesome with us even tho she didn't know me just think she knew I waz a bit bi or something ;x Anyayz, lol I knew that, knew he waz religious, think I knew he wanted to be in the army, knew that he waz crazy, knew he werked at Kroger and that he wrote poetry and that'z probably about it lol. so shyeah then that night we talked he gave me hiz number and I tried to call him when he waz in skewl I didn't know he waz still in high skewl poor guy. mrow shyeah I barely graduated my senior to be honest I think a lot of the people at the skewl just felt sorry for me and let me slip by that and they probably, really didn't want me there. lol shyeah I'm sure I scared him with my hyperness and az Moni callz it my little high pitched fifteen year old sounding voice mrow gotta tell my story about that bs here in a bit. . . anyayz, like that night found out that he lovez tygerz like me ;p and like what he lookz like that hez nineteen like me, just basic kinda stuff he liked eih I think people were on the phone or something and just didn't pick up later on that night when he tried to call me bak sighz usual for my life. mrow I probably embarassed him tonite by calling I didn't know he waz at werk tho feelz bad coz I got Dani making fun of him and she'z probably not going to leave him alone if I know girlz right but eih if she iz teasing him she'z probably just doing it coz she likez/lovez him and doing it to make herself laugh nothing really personal. mrow I know how thiz iz all too well ;/ probably not a good thing to the people who get it. LOL I remember that first night we were talking on the phone he said that I reminded him of Kat from Ten Thingz lol I loved that ;p coz I swear when I filled out that thing agez ago of Taschaz what character from a movie or something most remindz you of yourself I put her. She remindz me of myself more than anyone else. Plus, hell, she getz with Heath Ledger mmmmm droolz. lol shyeah he'z just kind of different from most of the people I've been around seemz like well the onez that have been whereever near me just all getting bent out of shape about sex and fixated with a one track mind that like a broken, scratched cd stayz on SEX, SEX, MORE SEX!! YES MUST USE FEMALEZ FOR SEX!!! lol. ohhh mahn it'z just really fun to talk to him. mrow I don't know if I could ever meet him tho coz I'd probably be all scared and like afraid I'd disappoint him or something. mahn that remindz me Josh waz being a dong when I came on and talked to him tonite he like wouldn't tell me for a while until after I asked what they told him about me lol I waz kinda scared when it came to that. mrow since he sent my picture and weblink. mrow I so need to update that page. . .anyayz, all I got out of anyone waz that I got to hear waz I'm a goth, i say mrow all the time which I don't do that much outloud any more I have to really think about it don't know why shrugz. maybe I'm fixated on shyeah at the moment who knowz. uhmm shyeah that I have my journal, and my webpage that showz my great taste of music lol yeah I'll admit I have that I really like thiz band he told me about caleld Flogging Molly good stuff ;p listening to Snake River Conspiracy my "satan music" az mom called it earlier when she put my compuker desk in here mahn todayz been a really bad day she bitched at me like all day i think it started with becky *my fifteen year old sister* and how I hurt her feelingz by trying to get her huge mouth to shut up about people I don't know don't want to know and certainly don't want to hear about it my mother must love hearing that shit because she only if in a mega bad mood sayz to shut up to her. So she took all that bull shit out on me for the rest of the day sighz. so I went and got forty coricidin while we were in walmart today ;/ I had been planning on taking them tonite but I fortunately wrote and got it out of my syetem. . .. since Amber waz on the phoen for fucking ever and I got to talk to no one hardly. God I need a cell. hmmm shyeah I had to take Cinnamon and get him groomed today too. . .

okayz before I fall deathly asleep I'm going to talk about what happened with Jill and how Joel lied to her and shit and smoked weed and watched porn and made her feel mega insecure and shitty yet after a while she just took him bak dont really wanna write a lot about thiz I've wrote enough and I still need to post some songz of mine I wrote. hmmm shyeah tho if someone betrayed me like that who waz a bf and lover I wouldn't ever be able to look them in the face again because he'd promised her he'd never do drugz again while with her and like that he didn't believe in watching porn because it waz degrading to women must have been bull shit eih since one of hiz friendz only supplied it and he watched it very willingly Jill thinkz thatz kid who gave it to himz a homo sighz. shyeah anyayz, that night that well Thursday night I found out all thiz shit and like Jill told me she took a shitload of nyquil and like shyeah I felt really worried abotu her so I talked to Moni and thingz went bak tot he way they were a long, long time ago before she left being online and before she found out I waz with Mel and she acted incredibly sweet but then the next day it waz just like the night before had never happened because she went bak to being cold and distant and acting like I didn't even matter and I gave her the poem I wrote about her agez ago that I kinda at timez had felt like had just all became liez sighz so the way it all went over made me really fucking mad at just the way every single person iz so incredibly phony so I ended up taking eight coricidin. Just everything waz pissing me off. Then Sunday mom werked I waz passed out for nearly the whole day then Monday stuff happened and like eih i got pissed again at the way people were acting and I had some guy who didn't even know me call me ugly and I waz already feeling bad enough about myself all together and totally sick of being alone and waz like eih she'll never get sex like I haven't already? sex iz meaningless anyone who wantz it can get that. what I want iz someone who will really and truly love me a fairy tale legend yesh. hmmm anyayz, I ended up taking twelve more coricidin Monday night and then just zonked I'm surprised I got up in time to take a bath get dressed and everything without passing out to take bow wow to get hiz hair cut he lookz like a cross between a poodle and a chihuahua poor bow wow he shook like when I waz taking him out to the car poor thing and then he waz so cold and my mom had to take Becky to the doctor over her throat so it took us a while to get over there and get him so luckily i only had to sit down there with him cuddled up in my jacket wrapped about him and me for ten full minutez. sighz thingz have just been crazy and just blah lately I really hope thingz werk out for me one day but any more i kinda just don't see it happening shrugz. . . .just am never going to be used for the practice of the ambition of being made a toy ever again. . . .

laterZ

So Like a Rose

Baby thinks he's dying Lost inside his bedroom Mommy won't stop crying And daddy's always working

There's no going back There's no going back There's no going back On this one

Baby wakes up with the sun While everyone is sleeping He thinks he's going crazy This could be the big one

There's no going back There's no going back There's no going back

Sleeping with ghosts It's such a lonely experience The stars are out tonight Only they can hear you breathing

You're so like a rose You're so like a rose You're so like a rose I wish you could stay here

-Garbage

Untouchable

This is nothing new to me It takes more than what you got To frighten me I'm not scared of you There's nothing you can do Or take from me

Untouchable You think you're untouchable You know No one's untouchable

You're bound to lose the game There's no one else to blame You play so safe and you're not risking enough You are doomed to be undone I swear I'll be the one To bring you down

It's all your fault 'Cause you got caught

Untouchable You think you're untouchable You know No one's untouchable

It must be nice To be so sure And never feel Insecure It must feel good To believe You're always right And you're never wrong

You've got something to say You say it to my face And be a man about it You got a problem with me Don't go behind my back Just like a baby

Untouchable (pride comes before) You think you're untouchable (you take a fall) You know (you'd best beware) No one's untouchable (a woman scorned)

Untouchable (pride comes before) You think you're untouchable (you take a fall) You know (you'd best beware) No one's untouchable (a woman scorned)

No one's untouchable You think you're untouchable You know No one's untouchable

No one's untouchable No one's untouchable No one's untouchable No one's untouchable

-Garbage

Parade

KABOOM Get it right Get it right now Get it right Do it good Get it right now

KABOOM Get it right Get it right now Get it right Do it good Get it right now

Oh let's bomb the factory That makes all the wannabes Let's burst all the bubbles That brainwash the masses

As far as I can tell It doesn't matter who you are If you can't believe there's something worth fighting for The color of the night The glory of a sudden view The baby in your arms The smile he always shoots at you

Believing in nothing Makes life so boring So let's pray for something To feel good in the morning

As far as I can tell It doesn't matter who you are If you can't believe there's something worth fighting for The color of the night The glory of a sudden view The baby in your arms The smile he always shoots at you

KABOOM Get it right Get it right now Get it right Do it good Get it right now KABOOM Get it right Get it right now Get it right Do it good Get it right now KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM

Oh doctor We're dying There's no use in crying So live for tomorrow And do what you have to

As far as I can tell It doesn't matter who you are If you can't believe there's something worth fighting for The color of the night The glory of a sudden view The baby in your arms The smile he always shoots at you

Oh let's pray for something To feel good in the morning In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now) In the morning (Get it right now gotta get it right now)

-Garbage

Can't Cry These Tears

I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of the road I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore

Can't find it in the Bible Can't find it on TV Can't find it in diamonds There's something inside me that just won't allow me to Find it in music Can't find it in my soul Can't find it in chocolate Oh Babe, I can't hide it I can't even find it in you

I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of the road I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore

There's no way she can kiss you The way that I do I heard that you miss me Oh you should be careful of who you keep talking to Long nights without you have taught me to be strong I've cut all my losses Think no more about it cause I couldn't find it in you

I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of the road I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore

There was a time I thought I'd die If you should ever leave me high and dry Now you don't want me anymore It's time to settle the score

I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of my tether I've torn all your letters up I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore I just don't care anymore I've reached the end of my rope And it's time that I told you so I just don't care anymore Won't cry these tears anymore

It's time to settle the score

-Garbage

Til the Day I Die

I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die

You walked into the room The sun hit my eyes The force you struck me down caught me by surprise You sprung the mojo and it worked like a charm I felt invincible with you in my arms

I must confess it can feel good to feel pain Like breaking waves or getting caught in the rain Playing those games 'cause we had nothing to do I was oblivious I was losing to you

I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die

Holy Jesus Holy rock 'n' roll The more I gave to you the more you grew bored And making love became the waging of war No peace No tenderness No fun anymore

I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die I will love you 'til the day that I die

I dreamt that I called out your name You turned your face to me and started to say Something so beautiful it hurt deep inside So I will love you 'til the day that I die

(Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) (I will love you 'til the day that I die) (Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) (I will love you 'til the day that I die)

(Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) I will love you 'til the day that I die (I will love you 'til the day that I die)

(Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) I will love you 'til the day that I die (I will love you 'til the day that I die)

(Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) I will love you 'til the day that I die (I will love you 'til the day that I die)

(Farewell. Farewell. I'm sure gonna leave you.) I will love you 'til the day that I die ('Til the day that I die)

-Garbage

Cup of Coffee

You tell me you don't love me Over a cup of coffee And I just have to look away A million miles between us Planets crashing to dust I just let it fade away

I'm walking empty streets Hoping we might meet I see your car parked on the road The light on at your window I know for sure that you're home But I just have to pass on by

So, no, of course we can't be friends Not while I'm still this obsessed I guess I always knew the score This is how our story ends

I smoke your brand of cigarettes And pray that you might give me a call I lie around in bed all day just staring at the walls Hanging 'round bars at night wishing I had never been born And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home

So, no, of course we can't be friends Not while I'm still feel like this I guess I always knew the score This is where our story ends

You left behind some clothes My belly summersaults When I pick them off the floor My friends all say they're worried I'm looking far too skinny I've stopped returning all their calls

And, no, of course we can't be friends Not while I'm still so obsessed I want to ask where I went wrong But don't say anything at all

It took a cup of coffee To prove that you don't love me

-Garbage

Silence is Golden

If I am silent then I am not real If I speak up then no one will hear If I wear a mask there's somewhere to hide

Silence is golden I have been broken Safe in my own skin So nobody wins

If I raise my voice will someone get hurt And if I can't feel then I won't get touched If no truths are spoken then no lies can hide

Silence is golden I have been broken Safe in my own skin So nobody wins

Silence is golden Nobody gets in Safe in my own skin So nobody wins

Did you hear me speak Do you understand Did you hear my voice Will you hold my hand Do you understand me

Won't someone listen Nobody gets in My body's a temple But nothing is simple

Silence is golden I have been broken Something was stolen Safe in my own skin

Safe in my own skin Won't someone listen My body's a temple But nothing is simple

My body's a temple But nothing is simple Something was stolen I have been broken

I have been broken Silence is golden I have been broken Safe in my own skin

-Garbage

Breaking Up the Girl

In a modern culture My friend you must be careful They've a million Ways to kill you In this dangerous world There's an art to growing old Taking chances Magic happens

One mistake's all it takes And your life has come undone Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl It's a drag I know it's hard But you're tearing her apart Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl

I am afraid that there's much to be afraid of Here today Gone tomorrow Don't end up in the gutter Just like the one before You're just the same Such a loser

One mistake's all it takes And your life has come undone Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl It's a drag I know it's hard But you're tearing her apart Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl

(You've got to let her go because you're breaking up) (Girl) (Girl)

One mistake's all it takes And your life has come undone Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl It's a drag I know it's hard But you're tearing her apart Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl

(Breaking up the girl) (Breaking up the girl) (Girl)

-Garbage

Nobody Loves you

Watching the days slip by so fast Knowing our fate has long been cast Working our fingers to the bone 'Cause nobody loves you when you're gone

Coughing up feeling just for you To find something real to hold on to But there is a hole inside my heart Where all of my love comes pouring out

You know you'll always be my man But grab yourself sweetness where you can 'Cause sooner or later we're going to die Left to the dogs under the sky

(I cracked a piece of broken glass) (I cracked a piece of broken glass)

Coughing up feeling just for you To find something real to hold on to But there is a hole inside my heart Where waves of my love come tumbling out

You say that all the good is gone That I have forgotten who I am Free as a bird, wild as the wind But somehow I cannot let you in

(Sorrow it) (Sorrow it) (Sorrow it) (Sorrow it)

(I'm sorry) (I'm sorry) (I'm sorry)

(I waited for you in the dark) (I waited for you in the dark) (I waited for you in the dark)

-Garbage

Cherry Lipz

She gave you everything she had But she was young and dumb She'd just turned twenty-one She didn't care to hang around So when the shit came down Why she was nowhere to be found This life can turn a good girl bad She was the sweetest thing That you had ever seen

You're such a delicate boy In the hysterical realm Of an emotional landslide In physical terms

With your cherry lips and golden curls You could make grown men gasp When you'd go walking past them In your hot pants and high heels They could not believe That such a body was for real It seemed like rainbows would appear Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear Because you looked just like a girl Your baby blues would flash And suddenly a spell was cast

You're such a delicate boy In the hysterical realm Of an emotional landslide In physical terms

You hold a candle in your heart You shine the light on hidden parts You make the whole world wanna dance You bought yourself a second chance

Go Baby go go We're right behind you Go Baby go go Yeah we're looking at you Go Baby go go Aww we're right behind you Go Baby go Baby Yeah we're looking at you Go Baby go Baby Oh we're right behind you Go Baby go Baby Yeah we're looking at you Go Baby go Baby Oh we're right behind you Go Baby go Baby Yeah we're looking at you

You hold a candle in your heart (Go Baby go go) You shine the light on hidden parts (Go Baby go go) You make the whole world wanna dance (Go Baby go go) You bought yourself a second chance (Go Baby go Baby go)

You're such a delicate boy (Go Baby go Baby go) In the hysterical realm (Go Baby go Baby go) Of an emotional landslide (Go Baby go Baby go) In physical terms (Go Baby go go)

Go Yeah we're looking at you Go Baby go go Aww we're right behind you

-Garbage

horsie

Horse

What Is Your Animal Personality?
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Woodchuck Grrrl

mahn if thiz one'z true where in the hell iz my woodchuck???
YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
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Eureka ;p

lol kk I kinda cheated for thiz coz I wanted it to come out to be Eureka'z castle coz I used to love that show shrugz
Eureeka's Castle! You enjoy spending time with your
pet Dragon and doing spells.

What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
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Miss Perfect

hmmm, I'm supposedly the perfect girlfriend but yet look at that! I'm yet again alone and boiyfriendless! lol eih I guess it'z just how scary I am shrugz
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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swear swear swear

your asshole.

What swear word are you?
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Nihilist

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Androgyny

When everything is going wrong And you can't see the point in going on Nothing in life is set in stone There's nothing that can't be turned around

Nobody wants to feel alone Everybody wants to love someone Out of the tree go pick a plum Why can't we all just get along?

(Boys) Boys in the girl's room (Girls) Girls in the men's room You free your mind in your androgyny (Boys) Boys in the parlor (Girls) They're getting harder I'll free your mind and your androgyny

No sweeter a taste that you could find Than fruit hanging ripe upon the vine There's never been an oyster so divine A river deep that never runs dry

The birds and the bees they hum along Like treasure they twinkle in the sun Get on board and have some fun Take what you need to turn you on

(Boys) Boys in the girl's room (Girls) Girls in the men's room You free your mind in your androgyny (Boys) Boys in the parlor (Girls) They're getting harder I'll free your mind I'll free your mind I'll free your mind I'll free your

(Boys) Behind closed doors and under stars (Girls) It doesn't matter where you are (Boys) Collecting jewels that catch your eye (Girls) Don't let a soulmate pass you by

Boys in the girl's room Girls in the men's room You free your mind in your androgyny Boys in the parlor They're getting harder I'll free your mind I'll free your mind

Boys in the girl's room Girls in the men's room You free your mind in your androgyny Boys in the parlor They're getting harder I'll free your mind I'll free your mind I'll free your mind I'll free your

(Boys. Girls. Boys. Girls.)

-Garbage

Shut Your Mouth

Welcome we love you We hate you We love you We want you We need you We wish we were like you They say you're a saint You're a whore You're a sinner That he had you Made you Can't live without you

Would you confess if we asked That you nurture the urge To declare that it's time To settle down With a man of your own You want a baby A family A piece of security

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it Just shut your mouth

What's your opinion of the dire situation In our land here Our guest here Of course you'll be nice here How do you feel about God and religion Are you good people Bad people Guess it doesn't matter people

Your place My place Make her bring that famous face You got some You want some You wanna let me get you some We know your music but of course we'd never buy it It's too fake man Right man We don't give a fucking damn

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it

I hear you say it Play it smart girl Win the game, Love Give 'em what they want What they want to see and you could be a big star You could go far Make a landmark What have you been reading, you smart girl? Win the game, Love Give 'em what they want What they want to see and you could be a big star You could go far Make a landmark Make a shit load

And the world spins by With everybody moaning Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting On their friends On their love On their oaths On their honor On their graves Out their mouths And their words say nothing

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it

Shut your mouth Try not to panic Just shut your mouth If you can do it Just shut your mouth

I waited to say something Oh shut your mouth I wanted to say something Oh shut your mouth I waited to say something Oh shut your mouth I wanted to be something Just shut your mouth

-Garbage

Drive You Home

It's funny how Even now You still support me after all of the things that I've done You're so good to me Waiting patiently And isn't it sad that you still have to ask if I care?

I never said I was perfect But I can take you away

Walk on shells tonight Can't do right tonight And you can't say a word 'Cause I leap down your throat So uptight am I

I never said I was perfect But I can drive you home

I got down on myself Working too hard Driving myself to death Trying to beat out the faults in my head What a mess I've made Sure we all make mistakes But they see me so large that they think I'm immune to the pain

Walk on shells tonight Can't do right tonight And you can't say a word 'Cause I leap down your throat So uptight am I

I'm praying for a miracle But I won't hold my breath I never said I was perfect But can you take me home?

-Garbage

Psychic Hearts

I know you have a fucked up life Growing up in a stupid town Your mother was a mixed-up chick And your father he just fucked around

A little too much for his own good I'd kill the bastard if I could I'd kill all the boys with their fucked up noise And all the bullshit they seem to enjoy

In school Call you slut Nothing but What the fuck are they into Stupid fools Losers assholes suck all the luck Out of the world the world with you If I can get it back to you I will Kick their asses all over town All over town I'll turn it over

I don't even know you that well What the hell summer spell

What's it like Goin' out No-one knows what you're about Abused and used and cut in two The hollow man have nothing to do

Laugh all the time try to get high And try to hide behind though lie

They fucked your head up That's for sure Your heart is ripped now wrapped in fur But you know that sex is pretty insane And magic seems to kill the pain And the things that go on inside your brain Makes you seem to think that you're to blame Don't think about it Grow it out Love ah-all (?) and say it loud Fight the scumbags that slap you around Scream your crazy lost and found We don't have to tell you what is right We have all the faith it was not right

Sadness is and sadness was And sadness will always be because Comfort comes around from the strangest of men

I got no time for sad songs baby Don't need you to say I'm crazy Stick your tongue and you look at me And I will buy it obviously Push you down onto your knees Do you laugh away in sleaze

You're not the only girl in town But you're the only one that's got me down Psychic hearts go out to you Psychic heart go round to you

My prayer to you Is that you do all the things you set out to do And look yr. life the way you love But will you remember one thing for me I will always love you I will always love you

-Catpower

Naked if I want to

Would you let me walk down your street Naked if I want to Can I pop fireworks on the fourth of every single July Can I buy an amplifier, oh, on time My sweet time

Well I ain't got no money I will pay this time And I ain't got no money But I will pay you before I die

And would you let me walk down your street Naked if I want to Can I pop fireworks on the fourth of every single July Can I buy an aeroplane while i'm high in all the sky And I got no mercy I will pay this time And I got no mercy I will pay you before I die

-Catpower

Peking Saint

In peking There is a son who Is much greater Than you want to be

Carnival arms have A medical wonder Who would of guessed that It was not a real body part

In peking There is a mother Who is laden With who she has to be

Carnival arms have A medical wonder Who would of guessed that It was not a real body part

In peking there is someone who Is who they should exactly be

-Catpower

Cross bones Style

Oh how time flies With crystal clear eyes And cold as coal When you're ending with diamond eyes

Oh come child In a crossbones style Oh come child Come and rescue me 'Cause you have seen some Unbelievable things

Hater I have your diamonds and still 'Cause you have seen some unbelievable things Hater I have your diamonds

Oh come child In a crossbones style Oh come child Come rescue me 'Cause you have seen some Unbelievable things

Hater I have your diamonds and still So still

Oh how time flies With crystal clear eyes And cold as coal When you're ending with diamond eyes

Oh come child In a crossbones style Oh come child Come and rescue me 'Cause you have seen some Unbelievable things

-Catpower

Colors and the Kids

It must be the colors And the kids That keep me alive 'Cause the music is boring me to death

It must just be the colors And the kids that keep me alive 'Cause I'd wanna go right away To a January night I built a shack with an old friend He was someone I could learn from Someone I could become

Will you meet me down On a sandy beach We can roll up our jeans So the tide won't get us below the knees

Yellow hair You are a funny bear Yellow hair You are such a funny bear Slender fingers Would hold me slender limbs would hold me And you could say my name Like you knew my name

I could stay here Become someone different I could stay here Become someone better

It's so hard to go in the city 'Cause you wanna say hello to everybody It's so hard to go into the city 'Cause you wanna say hey I love you to everybody When we were teenagers we wanted to be the sky Now all we wanna do is go to red places And try to stay outta hell

It must be the colors And the kids That keep me alive 'Cause the music is boring me to death

it must just be the colors And it must just be the kids That keep me alive on this January night.

Yellow hair You are a funny bear Yellow hair You are such a funny bear

-Catpower

You May Know Him

Oh Lord heaven is the name that you sent me Oh Lord heaven is the name that you gave him And then he came to life and he lived All others strange because who could of thought That you meant so much to me

Oh Lord heaven is the name that you gave him Surprised by the rise in sin you came through over and over again Lord heaven is the place that you sent him

And you may know him And you may know him only you Lord i've never doubted for an instant If we did what you say And we do it everyday If we did what you say And we do it everyday

Lord if heaven is the place he believed in it's all you can do Oh Lord heaven is the name that you sent me Oh Lord surprised by the rise in sin you came through You came through

-Catpower

Moonshiner

I've been a moonshiner For seventeen long years I spent all my money on whisky and beer

I go to some hollow And set up my holy holy still If drinking do not kill me Then I don't know what will

I go to some bar room And drink with my friends If women and men would come to follow To see what I might spend God bless them handsome men I wish they was mine

They're breath is as sweet as The dew on the holy holy vine

You're already in hell, you're already in hell I wish we could go to hell

When the bottle gets empty Then life ain't worth the drown

-Catpower

Say

Learn to say the same thing Let us hold fast to sayin the same thing I hope all is well with you I wish the best for you When no one is around love will always love you

Learn to say the same thing What defeats people is a double confession One time they will confess one thing And the next they will confess something else Talk to them they will say

Learn to say the same thing Let us hold fast to saying the same thing Never give up no never give up If you're looking for something easy You might as well give it up Never give up no never give up If you're looking for something easy You might as well give it up

One time they will confess one thing And the next they will confess the next Talk to them they will say

Learn to say the same thing Let us hold fast to saying the same thing

-Catpower

He Turns Down

Have you ever seen the face You know the one i'm talking about Have you ever been to that place You know i'm not supposed to say

Have you ever seen the face You know the one i'm talking about Have you ever been to that place You know the one i'm not supposed to say

Holding on for something have you ever held on Holding on for someone Feels like holding on too long Have you ever held on

It's not me I am pretending I'm not saved he turned me down He turns down

It is so nice to meet you Who's gonna look at for you It's not me, I am pretending I'm not saved he turned me down He turns down

Have you ever seen the face You know the one i'm talking about Have you ever been to that place You know the one i'm not supposed to say

Holding on for something Have you ever held on Holding on for someone Feels like holding on too long Have you ever held on

It's not me I am pretending I'm not saved he turned me down He turns down

-Catpower

American Flag

My friend Sits at the drum His magic hand Feels nothing but Time Nothing but time

My old friend Sits at the drum His magic mind Doesn't feel anything American Flag is behind If I could stand To be less difficult

My new friend Plays drums all the time Her magic heart Feels everything She plays the difficult parts and I play Difficult

She goes shoop shoop eh doop shoop eh doop Shoop eh doop eh doop eh doop We go shoop shoop eh doop shoop eh doop shoop eh Doop eh doop

If I could stand To be less difficult

-Catpower

Metal Heart

Losing the star without a sky Losing the reasons why You're losing the calling that you've been faking And i'm not kidding

It's damned if you don't and it's damned if you do Be true 'cause they'll lock you up in a sad sad zoo Oh hidy hidy hidy what cha tryin to prove By hidy hidy hiding you're not worth a thing

Sew your fortunes on a string And hold them up to light Blue smoke will take A very violent flight And you will be changed Sand everything And you will be in a very sad sad zoo.

I once was lost but now i'm found was blind But now I see you How selfish of you to believe in the meaning of all the bad dreaming

Metal heart you're not hiding Metal heart you're not worth a thing

Metal heart you're not hiding Metal heart you're not worth a thing

Back of your head

Big monster Big monster lover A bigger pusher over Stands alone in most walks of life Walks alone in most walks in life

See you looking through me Like you've unzipped the zipper You hold the big picture so well Can't you see that we're going to hell

Couldn't park that fucking car Couldn't part from you Saw the back of your sweet mother's head Now I know that she thinks I am dead

Burnt flavor you hold the big picture so well Can't you see that we're going to hell

Big monster lover A bigger pusher over Stands alone in most walks of life Walks alone in most walks in life

-Catpower

No Sense

Do you remember Do you remember That night at context Making up shit Like we were animals

We made no sense No sense We had no sex

Can you see, can you see, can you see Can you see, can you see, can you see The moon is so hollow What's the use When I can see right through you What's the use

All the hearts that touch your cheek How they jump they move they embarrass All the hearts that touch your cheek How they jump they move they embarrass They make no sense, no sense, no sense No sense, we had no sex

-Catpower

The Coat is Always on

Mother don't sit, Mother don't stand, Mother don't send me.

Sister come and lay your head on me, I can see you haven't had any sleep in a long time.

That baby's gonna be so easy on me, Never see his smile, Never see his face.

Father said he was gonna give me something, He gave me hate.

Mother don't sit, Mother don't stand, Mother don't send me.

Brother can't even speak, He's got a tongue and two legs to walk on, And he can leave, Brother is old and grey, Brother is old and grey, Brother is old and grey, And he's only , He's only seventeen.

Father said he was gonna give me something, He gave me hate.

Mother don't sit, Mother don't stand, Mother please don't send me.

What happened to home, What happened to home sweet, What happened to home sweet, Home.

-Catpower

Water & Air

I was dragged out by the shore man, A very poor man, A very nice man, A family man.

My lover drifted down the river, Below the dark water, The devil all around.

Yesterday on the street, Someone called out your name, Someone thought that you were me, Last night there was a party, I could not go, I walked around it, I thought about it, All night long, Today there is a newspaper, About you and me, And the day we were married, The same day.

The same day they fell in love, The same day they died in love. I did not want you to die alone, Rusty river run down, Run, run as fast as you can, oh run, Rusty river run ragged, And drag my lover's self back to me, I'll meet him there, Water and air.

Oh to be at the bottom of a river, Below the dark water, The devil all around, The devil all around.

-Catpower

Bathysphere

( Smog ) When I was seven I told my mother, To take me to the bay and put me on a ship.

Silver swordfish electric, I can feel or dream down here.

If the water should cut my mind, If the water should cut my life, If the water should cut my mind, Set me free, I don't care, I want to live in a bathysphere.

When I was seven my father said to me, 'But you can't swim.' And I've never dreamed of the sea again.

If the water should cut my life, If the water should cut my line, If the water should cut my mind, Set me free, I don't care, I want to live in a bathysphere.

-Catpower

King Rides By

If time had a place, And space for your past.

Like a little novel, I wanted to read again and again, Would i be in your novel, Would i begin and end in it.

If I had a place, And space for your little boy eyes, Could you really believe, I certainly dare you, I do not want to scare you, Anymore.

Oh what a fuss when the king rides by, Oh what a fuss when the king rides, Straight through my heart, Straight through my life.

I need your love more than you'd ever know.

If I kissed and touched your hand, A million things I will never understand, Oh what a fuss when the king trades in, Oh what a fuss when the king trades.

Oh love, my love, for someone else's hand, Needing love more than you'll ever know.

You don't miss your water, You don't miss your water, 'Till your well is gone.

-Catpower

Taking People

Who, who never showed you, About the easy way, Whose robes did they trade you, For such an easy life Who, who never showed you, About the easy way, Who, who never told you, About the perfect life, Guess it's some kind of, Some guarantee, You'll never see.

If I was a photographer, Picture taking, Beautiful people, I guess I'd make a mistake, 'Cause I'd probably take a, Picture of you.

Who, who never showed you, About the easy way.

And whose robes did they trade you, For such a perfect life, That's such a guarantee.

It leaves some certain sickness, You'll never know, Inside of me

That's all I have.

-Cat Power More from album : What Would the Community Think

The Fate of the Human Carbine

( Peter Jeffries )

Thinks of money all the time, Doing it to annoy her, She's on his conscience day and night, So he acts like her employer.

They all come and peep through a hole in the wall, Keep the bastards guessing.

He likes to take the long way home, It's another fine decision, From six to seven he'll be all alone, So he turns on televison, Doesn't even notices this is the hours roll by, It's lost inside the screen, Watches the film about the evening sky, It was someone else's dream.

All come peep through the wall, Keep the bastards guessing, All come and peep through a hole in the wall, Just to watch his heart undressing, They all come and peep through a hole in the wall, Because you look so impressive.

-Catpower

They Tell Me

They tell me what they do, I don't know what they're talking about, They tell me what they do, I don't understand what they're talking about, They're talking about it.

I did not start this conversation, I don't intend to keep talking about it, They tell me about it.

Maybe if i pray to the lord above, I'll get some sleep, But the lord don't give a shit about me.

They tell me what they do, How can I help it, how can I help it, I sure can't shut them up.

More from artist : Cat Power

-Catpower More from album : What Would the Community Think

What Would the Community Think

My God what would the community think, You are so beautiful, you are so beautiful.

All the things that people do in winter, They all melt down in summer, Things a mirror should say, On a very hot day

Been crying in my eyes.

Vacation, vacation, vacation, vacation...

My God what would the community think, You are so beautiful, you are so beautiful

-Catpower

Good Clean Fun

After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be hats on different bodies After this there will be no more Beautifull dresses After this there will be fast cast

After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be no more good clean fun

I forgive you for the rest Even the whole time i was tested Nobody does better, baby you're the best

After this there will be no one After this there will be so many good ones

After this there will be less interest After this there will be no one No one, no one.

Hey, I run down on my luck Hey, can I have something from you It seems I have nothing to give It seems you have nothing to give

After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be no one After this there will be no more good clean fun

I forgive you for the rest Even the whole time I was tested Nobody does better, baby you're the best.

-Catpower

Enough

Intuition said it was fair All of you should know there's Not enough to go around

Here they come again I can watch As they try they try to take it out Here they come again I can Watch closer now I can watch closer now

They can't find enough To take enough from me They can't find enough To take enough from me

I've seen the hordes, the hordes I've seen the hordes, the hordes Looking down that drain of yours Cartoon blue jay Cartoon black bay too

Cartoon blue jay Cartoon black bay too

Intuition knocked again fair All of you should know by now there's Not enough to go around

But I never go that way Other half of me says I should Other half of me says I should Other half of me says I should

-Catpower

Nude as the News

I still have a flame gun For the cute cute cute ones

And I saw your hand With a loose grip On a tight ship

I still have a flame gun For the cute ones To burn out all your tricks And I saw your hand With a loose grip On a very tight ship

And I know That in the cold light There's a very big man There¹s a very big man Leading us into Temptation

Jackson, Jesse, I¹ve got a son in me Jackson, Jesse, I¹ve got a son in me

And he's related to you He's related to you He is waiting to meet you

He's related to you He's related to you He is dying to meet you

Backhand, role reversal Where is someone Backhand, reversable roles I know there's someone

I still have a flame gun For the cute ones To burn out all your tricks And I saw your hand With a loose grip On such a tight ship

And I know that in the cold light Is a very big man Leading us into Temptation

Jackson, Jesse, I¹ve got a son in me Jackson, Jesse, I¹ve got the son in me

And he's related to you He's related to you He is waiting to meet you

He's related to you He's related to you He is dying to meet you

He's related to you, he's related to you He's related to you, he's nude as the news

Nude as the news, nude as the news, nude as the news All over, all over, all over, all over, all over, all over, all over you

-Catpower

Breathe In

I read you and God I'm good at it I'm so spot on Chord shapes in air go press that dissonance if you dare And you breathing in finesse an innocent From her partying

And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no? Can't help but love, you know...

What part of no don't you understand I've told you before To just get off my case this isn't happening stop this now And I where was I? I have to be somewhere Now where did I put it?

And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no? Can't help but love you, no...

Is this it is this it is this it?

Yes hello we're back and we're taking calls Now what was the question?

And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no? Can't help but love you, no...

-Frou Frou

Fake It

I fell again Because her mouth was running Away with her While she was fraternizing with the enemy Known as a gender error called males Most men wouldn’t be caught dead with me because my skin is layered with pale Flesh said to be labeled as egg shell Eyes of a woman that are going blind I can’t see without the lights And you laugh because little girls lose their virginity before nine I was one of them you fantasizing fucking pedophile Scheduled to lose her mind Because you told yourself loving more than one would be just fine You never paid attention to my ripped out heart laying beside you on the polished tile

They say I’m scary They won’t call the words to my face Whispering behind my bak how fucking ugly That a deranged girl is of a witchcraft interplanetary only vicious enough to come from outer space Almost more darkly creepy Than a black crystal hanging around the neck choking her dangerously Only you don’t look to see If she’ll be all right Because see I know you’re too busy tonight To even bother with me Because you’ve got a blond whore of the age of fifteen Dripping sugar over every word your lips are sprouting It’s so disgusting That you have to bound yourself to someone so statutory Who’s only going to leave You when she finds the man of her dreams Which let’s face it You and I couldn’t make it But I know you know that little important thing called love? YOU FUCKING FAKE IT!

I drowned again Because you left my heart wrapped and tethered in chains When you walked away To pursue the lips of a juvenile You’re a starving pedophile You wouldn’t know a good thing You’re too worried about her flashing smile The one that could be on the cover of a magazine If she lost twenty pounds Had her boobs enlarged to accommodate losing the sagging If she just didn’t look like a cow She might be able to win Runner up next to the beauty queen The one you couldn’t possess The one that left you and made you settle For the jezebel You’re sleeping with each night as you lay in hell

Chorus

Take it away Because I don’t want to ever have you come back Stay away Because I don’t want to ever have you come near a gothic girl dressed in black Blond streaks influencing the curls to stand out when walking You settled for a slut who’s too afraid of the pain of piercing I’m not afraid of losing No not any longer when it comes to you I understood and no you can’t wear my silver plating I no longer want you I certainly no longer love you I was just too distracted to ever let myself realize I’m still in love with an electric guitar player that writes Things you’d never let your brain have the time To think about an analyze

Chorus

Murder under my jacket Nurse oh dear male nurse A tainted vagina will you wash it Down if it’s lips will reimburse You with a kiss From beneath it’s Inner lining After you get through shining The creases of it’s sagging resistance? Will you wear it back down to the outer resistance So each man after you can take a turn At having a whore do her nine to five fucking Yeah I know all about you Ms I’m so glad that a dickweed like you can no longer make me flinch Just at the sight Just at the sound Of you taking a bride Wearing a mini dress around The mid drift of her ankles Because she can’t get it up any further And you sent me away without unlocking the shackles But I penetrated them by forcing them to flinch at the stain Of a simple element more frigid then icicles A trickle of dead blood from a vampires blasphemous pain A drop stolen never to be missed just like your name Will never be missed by a tigress free of her negligent lovers cage

Lately
Mmm itz only around eight pm and I’m already worn out yawnz lol eih remindz me of last night when talking to Obi ;x mmm shyeah I haven’t really felt like writing a whole lot lately so I guess I’ll talk a bit about what’z been going on in my life that and I’ve been kind of busy and doing my best to keep myself busy. First off I had to have the cd rom of thiz compuker taken bak because it waz fucked up and wouldn’t play dvd’z or cd’z and I doubt it would have rewrote anything either ;/ eih let’z see we tried taking thiz bak Friday but couldn’t coz we didn’t take the mouse and keyboard and plus they didn’t have any of mine in stock at that moment and wouldn’t have any until Saturday morning. I’ve been kind of going bak into a lot of thoughtz that have been going on eih I guess I haven’t wrote anything on my journal since that day I gave Andrew some weird picturez of me and he started acting all weird and shit with me like I wasn’t good enough or something for him. Eih it kinda bummed me out for a while but eih not having that insanely happy, giddy feeling I think did me some good in wayz I started thinking about a lot of shit I hadn’t thought about for some time. Eih me and Andrew had a discussion I know it waz on Wednesday of last week because we found out that the courts had issued that stupid bull shit about not being able to share mp3z online and not burn them either DOWN WITH THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING COURTZ!!! BUSH MUST FUCKING DIE STUPID MOTHER FUCKER WHO STEALZ ALL OUR MONEY. Eih jokez on him coz I’m stealing from the government ;x LOL not really I am going blind quite rapidly so if you’re stalking me for blackmail you can’t run off and try and submit that I’m robbing them because I truly and officially am disabled go ask all the fucking doctorz. Shrugz. I don’t mind it I just hate the fact one day I’m going to lose my sight and not be able to take care of myself and become worthless except for the fact I’ll still have a mind still have two handz and will still b able to write the fuck out of shit and still have a very great fucking name for myself. Mmm shyeah Anyayz, all the thoughtz I’ve been having I watched Beachez on Saturday and just started bawling over NOTHING. Except a lot of it waz from the feeling of missing Melissa and Will because I know I’ve lost them both and just eih the way a lot of songz make me think of both of them a lot of thingz do and it’s kinda like the ending of that movie I’ve lost my best friendz to death ;/ Incredibly fucking sad movie. Then like mom started bitching at me for not knowing and like eating salsa and chipz even tho I’d ate like maybe four of those fucking tortilla chipz and like eih I just started running off crying and she grabbed me and started hugging me I waz just incredibly fucking emotional that day and I don’t really know why I guess I can blame it on my god damned birth control pillz. Hmmm the monsterz came and saw us Saturday monster Elmira spent the night with us that night. LOL fun eih? Not really she had to paint my nailz two different shadez of blue blah. Hmmm what else interesting thingz happened? Let’z see me and Adam have been having mega huge conversationz about the people we’re still in love with and not with I know he still grrreatly lovez hiz ex and I still grrreatly love mine of three yearz ago too blah. But for me I’m just putting it to rest. Sighz. LOL we made thiz deal of I have to tie a blue ribbon to my finger so we’ll know each other in the afterlife since more than likely we’re both going to commit suicide god I love Adam I so wanted him to b on last night so I could bitch to him about how I couldn’t get the movie Fear dot com where the bastardz at Blockbuster only had ten copiez god I hate our fucking Blockbuster all but two of the employeez who werk behind the counter are such mega fucking stuck up prickz who think theyre so god damned superior for werking in some video store when I secretly think they’re ugly and slutz of my generation ;x LOL yeah my mom told them off last night because they wouldn’t give her the free movie we were promised for having trouble with XXX where we rented it and got home and there waz NO dvd in the fucking case blah someone probably stole it GO PERSON WHO RIPPED OFF THE BITCH ASS PEOPLE OF BLOCKBUSTER!!! Lol it waz funny too theyre manager called my mom today without her even calling coz I guess those prickz left her a note about my mom going off at them and saying they were going to b reported to the manager and she’d b talking to their supervisor so we got two free moviez from Blockbuster ha ha ha servez that horrific bitch and asshole right. I met the like most sweetest guy well lol I don’t know if it’s going to werk out with us since after I gave him my pix and we talked on the phone and then when I came bak online to give him my pix and we agreed to meet when he getz leave next month being az he’z in the marinez. LOL kinda different I’ve never dated a guy in the service ;x Of course Christinaz in the army but I’ve got too much of an intimate friendship with her to ever want her sexually shrugZ which iz fine. I don’t have to want every sexy person ;x Shyeah tho he haz such a fucking sexy voice kinda surprised to meet someone like that whoz from Kentucky especially Nicholasville ;x lol he’z half Latin and half Ameican like 5’9 haz black hair green eyez *droolz at the green eyez* uhm built of course hmm he playz electric guitar God I’m envious I’d give anything to b able to play guitar ;/ I’d play Jack off Jill all day long ;p Eih and he LOVEZ Garbage and can play like anything by Tool lol I sat there telling him how I used to sing Garbage, Kittie, Natalie Imbruglia, Hole and some other stuff to Will lol, He waz like mahn he’z fucking lucky! Lol I waz like eih shyeah he thought so at the time I never did. Because deep down I hate my voice even tho I know it’s sexy ;x shhh any stupid mahn would tell you thiz ;x They love hearing me moan dumbassez. I’m NOT YOUR WHORE! Shyeah I don’t give myself to anyone at a first encounter any more go thank the men who’ve used me solely for sex for that one shrugz ah wellz. Hmmm talked to Nick last night we just talked told him how I’d just met him even tho I didn’t want to he kinda dragged it out of me. Uhm let’z see watched Sailor Moon yesterday ;p I watched Blue Crush thiz afternoon that iz one fucking hell of an awesome movie. I thought it’d b pretty pathetic but I love that movie I wanna buy it, I love how the main character getz her dream in it, standz up to men and makez it obvious she’z not going to let anyone NOT feel bad for using her ;p I loved it Christina waz so right about it! ;p hmm I met thiz pretty kewl guy a few dayz ago named Matt I think he livez like in Lexington or Frankfort, one of the other I can’t remember exactly. Eih hea nd I had thiz mega huge discussion about God how he believez in him and how I do believe in him but I feel he’z let me down quite a bit so I’m not constantly beckoned to give him my faith or trust then again about who doez get that from me? No idea what he lookz like he just seemed mega nice. I talked to hiz room mate Jonah last night he seemed pretty kewl too. They’re both nineteen my age shrugz I think I get along romantically with older people better but for my silliness and fun and friendship people my age are perfect eih then again I could b proved wrong at any time about all of it shrugz. I just like kewl people. I mean I do want a boiyfriend and all because I’m tired of being alone and lonely but no one haz to b that if they don’t want to b but I don’t want to b led on about it and have someone talk to me about a bunch of stuff about a relationship and then just disappoint me ya know? Sighz ohm wellz ohm yeah Saturday nithgt when we went and got Chinese food from that place on Main Street Tsing tsao or whatever it iz I heard thiz awesome song on the radio on 106.3 called The Girl all the Tough Guys Want itz by Bowling for Soup. Ohm mahn Friday when we took the compuker bak and got the new upstairz compuker they actually played Breathe in by Frou Frou fucking impressed me! Ohm mahn Sunday I probably got Katie into some major shit by when I waz talking to Kay like I told her Katie and I were together. She asked how long we’d been going out and I waz like eih around three yearz and she’z like so you made her cheat on Derek? I waz like uhm it’s not cheating when a bi person haz a bf and a gf we don’t look at it az cheating unless you have two of one sex not one of each sex and then I said besidez Katie iz her own person and like Derek and Katie haven’t been together for a hell of a long time he’z not happy in hiz marriage but what the hell doez that have to do with it? Kay’z like well I’ll have to ask I thought she meant she’d ask Katie more than likely going to ask Derek and Katiez going to get bitched at because of me ;/ Eih I don’t want Katie to get bitched at but to be honest I kinda want Derek to hurt he fucked with my mind unfairly leading me on az if he liked me yet making it clear where he didn’t know me well enough and didn’t want to get to know me well enough I’d never do sighz men! Fuck’em to hell eih I guess thatz about it

Drowning in Exhaustion
mmm I've been so fucking tired all day long I didn't get up until eight thirty tonight and I'm still exhausted eih I got to the point of having really about nothing left to take for my sinus infection except the shit I can find and last night I went upstairz on a raid for cold pillz and found tavist d which of course iz an antihistamine those thingz knock me out EASILY. mrow last night I had the MOST awesomest fucking conversation with anyone I've ever had when it coemz to talking about guyz. Andrew and I talked foreever after getting each other EXTREMELY turned on god he'z good with hiz mouth ;p mrow hmm shyeah tho we sat there talking about relationship thingz and the thingz we thought about other people and the way they only like using you and the way we don't exactly trust anyone all that easily yet trust each other pretty damned well lol he said a lot of it waz my trusting him ;p mrow which I do I can tell he'z a decent person ;p mrow and then he said that he liked my positive attitude and the way I'm down to eart and extremely honest to him ;p heh mrow I think thatz one the thingz I like most about him to he'z ACTUALLY honest with me I don't find that in many guyz ya know? Every other guy i've ever been with haz said he'd b honest with me but endz up lying to me and getz all annoyed with me and tired of me quite easily for being crazy, and weird, and psycho. mrow I don't know what it iz about Andrew if it'z just hiz personality or what mrow but eih he bringz out the best of my personality in me I don't have my suicidal tendenciez come out when I'm around him that usally only lastz for about a day with anybody else with him I don;t think it'z ever going to become a problem because he makez me feel mega happy. mrwo we sat there talking and he like mentioned like a lot of the stuff I think of that I'd love doing with people like candlelit dinner uhm hmm watching the sunrise and staring at the moon and starz together hmm going for a picnic uhm going and having like a campfire and making smorez lol I waz like shyeah just bringing the chocolate syrup ;p mrow eih hez mega like me too at the way he kissez he likez to kiss only with hiz tongue mrow and thatz how I am I'm not for those little peck kissez I HATE having someone kiss me like that on the mouth now trailing kissez down the body iz a different thing but when it comez to my mouth I want someone to french me badly ;p mrow that and then eih he and I sit there talking about like issuez and he thought it waz awesome that I took the opposite side of the situationz we'd talk about LOL eih I remember how my ex used to sit there and say that I said every fucking thing like he did and I didn't have a mind of my own and like that I just said whatever he wanted to hear mrow did he ever ask for my opinion? No did he ever get deep with me like that? No I mean all we ever could really get into talking about waz sex maybe we were just too different I don't know sighz nothing important coz I could care less about him I REALLY like Andrew now ;p mrow he'z not into liking prepz and jockz too lol so much of me I hate them! mrow izh listening to All Cheerleaderz Die right now ;p SWITCHBLADE KITTENZ hell yeah heh. waz listening to Zwan earlier ;p mrow really lovez that band and haz been listening to Garbage ;p mrow wishez she had the cutie right now ;/ but eih that'z just life for ya I'll get that later prolly going to have to go to the doctor tomorrow AHHHHHHHHHH i have to go tho I REALLY need some antibioticz to get rid of the infection and then I have to go get my birth control pillz more yuk yuk yuk! and hmm gotta fix the dvd thingy on the compuker and get my dvd/vcr combo hooked up and uhm SLEEP! lol eih anyayz I think I'm going to go upstairz in a few minutez and pee and then come bak down lay down and think about my cutie person ;p

Finesse

This-what is this? is it interplanetary

What you and I have stumbled upon

A meaning

That coinsides between two different people

I saw the flashing signal of a warning

But I didn’t listen when it told me

To turn back and not keep crossing

I fell in love

And you can’t stop it

A dimension fell from love

And I couldn’t stop it

State what you’re thinking of

The issue at hand no I won’t drop it

Not until your lips have answered it

Don’t hate me for caring

And don’t you dare fucking tell me to stop loving

You the way my fragile heart keeps trying

Because it won’t listen to you

And it sure as hell won’t listen to me

I tried to tell you

When the air was freezing

You didn’t hear me did you

When I said I love you

I’ll never love another but you

And to be honest I don’t want to

Don’t try and stop me

Don’t try and divert me

Don’t try and catch me

Don’t try and revert me

From having the emotions I’ve been feeling at present hand

Transparent flattery when you don’t even know me will get you no where my dear man

I’ve heard the most deafening compliments

Come from the lips

Of ten thousand liars

So sweet the hygentist had to pull my teeth out with pliers

After sucking

Deep upon the tongue

Of each and every one

Thinking I’d found love

Love no no no

That couldn’t have been it

Or I wouldn’t have gotten stuck in the blackest tunneling hole

Is this it

What you and I have running between two souls?

Sweet as candy

I want you to have me

Tell me you love me

I want to hear it coming from your mouth

Show me that you love me

I’ll hear you out

You can have about anything you want from me

Because I’ve found out

From thinking this out

That I do love you

With each and every tiny breath

You conjured it out of me with and indiscreet, natural, untried for finesse

The Devil in Her is Coming

Here she comes

She’s emerging

Out of me

To take over my soul again and it won’t be pretty

Don’t look now

Don’t look ever

Not like you want to look now

Not like you wanted to look at me ever

I can’t promise to hold her down

I’ve held out

On her for entirely too fucking long

She’s grabbing me

She’s begging me

To take her out

Out of the box of coils and away from the demons

Of her heart that’s melting

With the tears she cries just for you

And you don’t hear do you

And you don’t care do you

Don’t lie let’s tell the truth

You could never love her

Even if you wanted to love her

Because you want the demon to repossess her

And if you let it come back out of her

It will kill her

I don’t doubt it

I don’t question it

In fact I fucking know it

She’s desperate

She’s imploring for you

To save her

To put out her cigarette

To kiss her

Instead of letting her know her

Once again

I can’t help it

If I want you again and again

I won’t fucking say I’m sorry

I shouldn’t have to say I’m fucking sorry

For loving a simple human being

Fuck human nature to hell

I want love to descend back into hell

Because I know it’s stapled to a demon’s tail

I’ve seen him looking

And breathing on her neck to impale

The witch’s soul to retake it’s hold

Over her small head of crimson gold

Will she have refugee in one simple dark angel

Will you fucking answer me before I let myself go

All the way back down without a remorseful moral

Without any way of getting back to kill the diminishing soul

Will you really not help me

Fine don’t say I didn’t tell you so

When I’m gone and you can no longer find me

When you least expect it and you start to want me

I won’t be anywhere in sight

I’ll never bother you again

Never write another line

Never say hello again

Is that what you want from this woman feline?

Don’t say anything again

And you’ll have it without asking

Her fury’s emerging

I can feel her heated pain pulsing

And she’s coming

Coming to get me

Coming to chase me down

Coming back to take me

DOWN DOWN DOWN

CLEANSING MYSELF WITH HER BLOOD I’LL DROWN

AND YOU’LL NEVER SENSE ME

BECAUSE I’LL BE SLAVE TO THE ONE WITH THE HORNED CROWN!

Future Shock

Deai wa totsuzen kuruze "Catch" ga haato wo binkan Ugoku douro demo jettoki demo tobasu "Hey go go. Ok go go girl."

Zetai ni te wo hanasanai Gouin ni tsuru mawasu yo Yuuenchi no hashigo Mayonaka no paati "Follow me"

Souyo "Future Shock" anata ni "Future Shock" kakemeguru "Future Shock" watashi wo Wakaranai to iwazu ni Chanto tsuitekite hoshii Onaji tokimeki wo Mitsukeyou

--END OAV VERSION--

"Cancel" wa watashi no jyuu Kinpun ga noni nai "one day" Anata kara no beru mushishite nemuru no Mou gu-gu-. Sorry gu-gu-gu-

News de tobiokitara Pasokon gamen ni kisu Anata kara no meeru Chekkushite okuruwa "Mercy love"

Soreka "Future Shock" watashi no "Future Shock" uketodoke "Future Shock" anata wo Odorokasete gomen ne Itsumo sukinasei nano Dakara korekara mo Sabishii ne

"Future Shock" watashi no "Future Shock" aishiteta "Future Shock" hikurii

Mou modorenai kara Shikkari tsukamatteite Mirai e mukatte tobidasou

-Birdy the Mighty

Never Gonna Say I'm Sorry

I'm never gonna say I'm sorry,

I'm a clown for everyone

I'm never gonna let you down,

I'm always here like a sun

I'm a loser, that is a fact for sure

I'm happy even if you don't want

To invite me out for a dance tonight

I'm not normal, I know, I don't care

I'm never gonna say...

I'm always here like a sun, I'm always here

Like a ghost I follow your steps so true

You don't have to bribe me or fill me up

Give me just a minute to shine with you

I will make you so happy, make you laugh

I'm never gonna say I'm sorry for

the essence of my soul

There's so many ways to change my life

'Cause I want to...oh

I'm like a clown, I'm fun for everyone...

I'm never gonna say I'm sorry...

-Ace of Base

Duvet

And you don't seem to understand A shame you seemed an honest man And all the fears you hold so dear Will turn to whisper in your ear And you know what they say might hurt you And you know that it means so much And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind A shame that I can read your mind And all the things that I read there Candle-lit smile that we both share And you know I don't mean to hurt you But you know that it means so much And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning, Help me to breathe I am hurting, I have lost it all I am losing Help me to breathe

-Boa

Dying to Know

Thank you for destroying

All the hope left in my sagging body

That you could love me

That you could be the one for me

Kiss me good bye

I’m waiting for the ensealment so you can walk off and pass me by

I’ve kissed a fool

I’ve kissed the blind

I’ve looked into those eyes

They’ve never looked back at me except with lies

I’ve known the truth

From day one

But I wanted to try and prove

Myself wrong that there could be just one

One solid foundation

That I could find for the benefit of creation

For the benefit of an unsanitary promotion

Lied to myself

Just to believe in myself

Just to make myself

Keep on living

Was it worth the living

I can’t honestly reply yes it was without letting my tongue go on lying

And I am not a liar

You don’t want me

You don’t trust me

I want you to comfort me

You want your own fulfillment of comfort

And maybe just maybe

It lies in the arms of another

But what about my empty arms

That our craving you

And you don’t even know how I feel now do you?

You think I don’t know a thing about you

Do you know that I sense you

Do you know that I feel you

Do you know that I already trust you

When I don’t even completely know you?

Do you know that I would love you

If you’d just let me love you?

Do you bother to question any of this

Do you let it slip out of your mind with ignorance

Or do you just not care

Or is it that you’re just afraid to care?

I want to know

I need to know

I’m dying to know

What it is

That keeps you from letting

Yourself love me

love iz a fantasy
I am about to go bak to my tentative intelligent refusal of believing in the bull shit blasphemy of love. I honestly don't believe in it'z existnece ninety nine percent of the time the last four dayz have been pretty fawking awesome but eih it'z just all another fucking dream. mrow I just had thiz like mega long, deep conversation with Andrew and we were talking about love and relationshipz and just that kind of stuff and eih how so many fucking people are how they can't b honest and just play gamez and in my case only want to use ya for sex sighz I just don't care any more just about it. I mean I really like him, but eih I just can't tell if he wantz to like me bak or doez like me bak or if it'z all just nothing and I'm kind of afraid of that sighz. I just wish I knew that love were real and could predict the way thingz happen instead of going by everything that I feel in the pit of my stomach sighz. I just wish I could find someone who REALLY fawking wanted me and didn't just want to think maybe they did ya know? sighZ fuck you Heather you are only ever going to b alone. mrow eih I still have Katie sighZ I love Katie quite a bit just eih I'd love to have a guy too ;/ mrow I'd like to have someone who waz here that I could have now ;/ mrow just feelz like love'z only out there to fucking toy with me shrugz fuck it all to hell I'm going to go find some pillz and put myself to sleep.

Media C-Section

Caught me with your video lies It gives you something to lie about Watch me with your retail eye It gives you someone to spy on

Stab me with your double blade knife It gives you something to cry about Drive me with your chemical high It gives you something to ride on

I may be an evil girl, with my Colgate smile And if I am an evil girl, you can put me on trial I want to kill on video, I want to go real far Let me kill celebrities, I'll be your next media superstar

Scare me with your little disguise It gives me someone to hide from Eating all your roaches and flies In my mouth like bubble gum

Scar me with your venomous lies It always helped me remember Feed you cause them razor blades Cause nothing lasts forever

I may be an evil girl, with my Colgate smile And if I am an evil girl, you can put me on trial I want to kill on video, I want to go real far Let me kill celebrities and be your next media superstar

(Kill me) Buy me Kill me Fuck me Buy me Hurt me (I'm hurting) Watch me You destroy me (I can't take this shit)

-Jack Off Jill

feeling ignored and weird
mrow tried to talk to Andrew a little while ago and all he did waz like ignore me I don't know whether he waz busy or what eih it just makez me feel paranoid when people act like that and won't talk to me makez me wonder if they really fucking like me or what sighz I feel like shit anyayz I've been listening to Lacuna Coil like fucking crazy if you can't tell at all the lyrix I posted. mrow still havent gotten number twelve of the albumn Comalies of Angel's Punishment. I also have a bunch of shit from their other albumnz downloading. mrow can't wait to fucking make their cdz. I mean I love that band Zwan that Andrew told me about but I REALLY fucking love Lacuna Coil. coz it'z basically like I listen to Zwan and I think of Will because the way their lyricz are written remindz me of the way I knew him to write and then they make me think of Andrew since he gave them to me but Lacuna Coil iz me all me and I think of nothing else but Heather when I sit listening tot hem so I guess you could say I severely love them ;p ah wellz I feel weird ;/ I miss Katie too ;/ mrowwww

Silenced Ghost

Fuck my insanity of bliss to hell Cut away the nonsense and let the blood tell a tale It never fails Another reason to want to fucking choke myself Another dream of loving someone else Cast down the wishing well You don’t care Don’t fucking say you care Because I used to actually care

Fuck my innocence to hell You took it off like a cellophane veil Transparent as broken glass Don’t you dare ask Why my lips have formed and taken their silence It’s because you ignored me with your own silence I’m tired of the distance I own from the moonbeams of the clouds I could fly if I scratched away the surface Of love that keeps my wings nailed to the ground

Fuck this ghost of a woman to hell You hurt her with every chance you get Stared at the sun for too long Only to look back to see that you had gone You lied to me You let me believe I’d ended my master plan of misery I was wrong to ever think you’d love me Tears falling Like snowflakes fall from the sky You’re not looking Because you’ve grown to see past the illusion that I’m happy

Fuck this shadow of a woman to hell I thought I’d found my other half, again I’ve failed Was it because you lied Or because I was the one to lie I was only half myself Were you really yourself When you were speaking to me Did you mean what you said to me Or were you just pretending To feel anything at all for me I’m tired of this I’ve grown weary of this So fucking sad So fucking angry Angry enough to abandon all my morality Vicious enough to break through the shield Of disguise of what I told you Break through the barrier Of my fake happiness that I let shine on you To break down and let you See how badly I want to end the existence known as me

Comalies

Parlami Il tuo silenzio guarda dentro Non resisterò

E' un attimo, Nel tuo vuoto sento che io non ce la farò

Walk on by You walk on by

Wondering why

Wandering from you Falling at your side Wandering from you Healing my desire

Stumbling in your soul Give yourself to me Hurting your desire Healing mine

Slegami Dal mio rimorso, sei diverso mentre muoio e poi risorgo dentro te

Finchè vivrò ricordarti così sarà una colpa eterna su di me

-Lacuna Coil

Angel's Punishment

Destruction

War

To fight in defence Forgotten words of friendly hate

war - destruction war - destruction

I don't know why A soul deceased A broken hope A choking breeze

war - destruction war - destruction

Can't you take me away from your lies?

Destruction

Dark paradise Collecting souls To analize

war - destruction war - destruction

The bitter blood of a children's cry inside the truth far from my sky

war - destruction war - destruction

Can't you take me away from your lies?

-Lacuna Coil

The Prophet Said

Light of my sun Light in this temple

Light in my truth Lies in the darkness

Teasing pureness of your lies soreness of a delightful mission Burning up inside your mind you belong to my possessions

Can't you see that I'm here inside you?

Light - Massive pain Glide - Passive tension

Light - Show me how to slide in this pleasure

Teasing pureness of your eyes Crawling into empty spaces You could lie and lie again you belong to my possession

Can't you see that I'm here inside you?

This is my harmony I'm in your heart again This is the place to live where I'm alone again

This is my hamony - I'm here I lay again - This is the prayer to give I'm all alone again

-Lacuna Coil

Entwined

And you take me over Over again

I wonder how can I go on and on when you want to bury my passion You are the shell around I cannot escape and I swallow my pride

Entwined together now It's time to pass it over (and you take me over, over again) Entwined together now

And you take me over Over again

I wonder how can I live on and on when you want to live in a hurry You are the wall -that I- That I have to remove And I swallow I swallow my pride

Entwined together now It's time to pass it over Entwined together now Entwined forever

And you take me over Over again

Entwined together Entwined forever

-Lacuna Coil

Unspoken

And it doesn't matter how you feel now, anything at all Seems to be your only way, so vicious Heavenly apart

When your envy is on a piece of paper Let me sweetly smile You're devouring all the crumb I'm leaving caught up in your lies

You're on any other side

Clawing up my eyes I'm feeling your arms around me On the other side It's time to go I'm hearing your voice without words On the other side

But it doesn't matter how I feel now, anything at all Since I've left you with the wrong impression while I'm still the same

When I turn around and look at my life, shadows in disguise but I'm working on an interruption of hypocrisy

You're an any other side

Clawing up my eyes I'm feeling your arms around me On the other side, it's time to go I'm hearing your voice without words On the other side

Any other side

-Lacuna Coil

The Ghost Woman and the Hunter

Staring at the sun no rays down on me I call you in my arms embrace is unreal

You're moving on we'll never be apart just drain my tears I cry aloud

You're moving on you'll never be a part of all my tears I cry aloud

Calling on your sins you're here in my dreams a desert place I'm not alone

Do you really want to be me?

You're moving on we'll never be apart just drain my tears I cry aloud

You're moving on you'll never be a part of all my tears I cry aloud

-Lacuna Coil

Tight Rope

Delighthing minds with my shadow Rely on your way to grow You want to decide from your cloud You're lost in a world that I have to repair

You want it all the greatest smile Who wants to deny forever? You're made of ice I pay the price for all you unforgiveness

Enlighting lies with my shame Beneath the veil of your flow Don't try to deny with your mouth So fine it is knowing you're under the shade

-Lacuna Coil

Aeon

There is something in your eyes flowing them over stealing all the harmony which lives in me your hands are covering my tears

oh, why

There's a sort of inner dance trying to seduce me feeling this anomaly which takes me

Your touch

You're here

Your heart

-Lacuna Coil

Self Deception

I'll never waste another day searching to find the reason why did I choose to play this game this goes too far I'll take no more

I played the part and took the blame while you pretend nothing is real life turned to night as you're asleep blood flowing down, is this a dream?

Liar, you tempt me

I don't know what to do no guilt is in my heart I don't know what to do I'm not the reason

I'll never waste another day forever lost no reason he never choose to play this game taken too far out of control

Liar, you tempt me

I don't know what to do no guilt is in my heart

I don't know what to do I'm not the reason

-Lacuna Coil

Humane

You walk on by without feeling to your stroll

You walk alone

Compromise it's just another contradiction You're not alone

There's a place you've run away that is in your heart it is in your heart

In your heart Your love again

There's a place to be afraid There's another chain to hold and you don't know

You need it by your side just let him know

Your hell is when you dream and I'm awake

Look into your heart Deep into your heart

In your heart Your love again

There is none for Love is not afraid

In your heart Your love again

-Lacuna Coil

Daylight Dancer

Answer me, it can't be so hard Cry to relieve what's in your heart Desolation, grief and agony

Trying to move down in this grave Trying to believe in every faith As another bridge to clarity

Want to stay another way

Take another chance to find a distant sanity and turn your pain in truth Take another chance to fight a different enemy and try to free it

Dance with me, it can't be so hard Time to reveal what's in your heart Desolation grief and agony

Walking through a life decayed while you're repeating your mistakes There's another chance to try to get away

Take another chance to find a distant sanity and turn your pain in truth Take another chance to fight a different enemy and try to free it

-Lacuna Coil

Heaven's a Lie

Oh no, here it is again I need to know when I will fall in decay

Something wrong with every plan of my life I didn't really notice that you've been here

Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie

Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free

Oh no, here it is again I need to know why did I choose to betray you

Something wrong with all the plans of my life I didn't realize that you've been here

Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie

Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free

Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free

-Lacuna Coil

Swamped

When you're taught through feelings

Destiny flying high above all I know is that you can realize it

Destiny who cares as it turns around and I know that it descends down on me

It's just another day the shame is gone hard to believe that I've let it go

Destiny can't replace my life Scary shadows of my past are alive

Destiny who cares as it turns around and I know that it descends with a smile

It's just another day the shame is gone it's hard to believe that I've let it go away

It's just a melody it bleeds in me hard to believe that I've let it go

-Lacuna Coil

Out of Her

Softly crushed velvet lips touching mine

Filtering across the skin of my mouth like an angel’s tears freshly cried

I used to want to die

Every second,it never left my mind

I woke up screaming the night before I met you

What’s so different about you

Stay with me will you

Kiss me will you

I can honestly say

In my illusive reality I’ve never felt this way

Is it the illustration of emotion

That makes you come across that way

You can’t believe I’d ever want to hold you

If I had you underneath the barrier of my grip

You’d never get out of it

I’d never let go of you

I’d never let you get away from me

Never let you slip away from me

You can’t break the triangle

Of love’s desire

Not when it’s fallen into the hands of one who believed

it to be a fable

Can you kiss a flame that represents a lonely fire

Can you hold the tongue of a spitfire

Between your lips without letting go of her?

Can you hold onto the paw of a female feline

Without startling her?

Can you tame a wild firefly

Of a PiXy to detain her?

Would you not deny

To give her

The freedom of domain

If she asked you to

Would you remain

By her side if she asked you to?

Would you kiss her in the rain

If she didn’t ask you to?

Yet layed her lips on yours to rest

Upon her favorite spot denounced sweetly

Would you look at her with the same eyes even when she was a wreck

If she didn’t want to let you in immediately

Would you stay to wait and have her open the outlet

To give you every single particle buried underneath

Would you teach her

To love you

If you had to gently show her

How to give in to you

Would you keep her

Even if she didn’t meet you

All the way at the same time you wanted her

To open her mouth all the way

To spill down the contents of her mind

To let you see her dismay

If she didn’t want to let an occupant steal away her mind

She loves you

Don’t think she doesn’t

Love you

She wants you

Don’t think she doesn’t

Want you

I think she’s just a little bit afraid

To let any man lay his claim

Upon her soul once more

Too many males have ripped her succulent little heart out and eaten it up with another whore

Never glancing at the fragile state she was in

Sending her back to hell again

To face her demons

And I want you to come in

Will you come play with me

You don’t have to be dirty

You don’t have to be pure

You don’t have to become filthy

You don’t have to be demure

She won’t break if you kiss her

You won’t hurt her

If you love her

Just don’t dismantle her

Any more than she is

Don’t pretend with her

Display to her

Everything you want out of her

Becoming Loveless is History

You can’t remotely change your mind

You look at me with puppy eyes and whine

I know what you want

Sorry mister I won’t give it

I’m not a whore out earning a prophet

I’ve been sidestepping every corner love’s approached

What I want doesn’t involve sex it comes from out of my pocket

You want to memorize my phone number to keep self employed

Sticking it out of your mouth, pinning it inside of your head

You only want to have it to call me up when you’re feeling lonely

When you can’t get any

From the little mrs’s

You can’t demonstrate fidelity

So why the fuck say you love me?

I know better than to listen you’ll only use me sexually

I have to have more

Because sex I can buy someone to do it for me professionally

He turned me off

To wanting to become turned on

So don’t even try bothering

It will get you no where

Ask me once ask me twice, now say it louder whining

NO YOU CAN’T CALL HER

NO YOU MAY NOT LISTEN TO HER

NO I WILL NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO FANTASIZE ABOUT HER

About me

For fifteen

Minutez of pleasure

While you listen to me moan my brainz out and think of her

What could I ever of been thinking

When I used to dumbly go on agreeing

To let you hear my voice howling

Drowning out the music playing

Drowning out the walls that were enclosing

When I was the one losing

The one you were using

Just to get a rise of your penis

Mars made a slave out of Venus

There has never been anything between us

Except a role playing game of fictional characters

I was at first PiXy only to change to Scarling when my residence of tragedy became darker

You never paid attention to her

You never once contacted her

He and I were together

For two days straight

Were you there ever?

No

I can’t hardly say so

No

I can’t hardly believe so

No

I definitely can’t think so

Love what is it’s meaning

Can you answer that for me

Who am I becoming

Can you answer that for me

A creature of faithlessness

I tried to kill myself without a witness

You condemned me

Then you think you can come to me

When your conniving dick is horny?

NO DAMNIT NO

I DON’T WANT TO

FUCK NO I DON’T WANT YOU

LEAVE ME ALONE

FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!

YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW

ME UNTIL THE TIME COMES

THAT YOU WANT TO GO

DOWN ON ME JUST TO MAKE YOURSELF FUCKING CUM

NOT THIS TIME ASSHOLE

NOT THIS TIME YOU FUCKING TROLL

I’VE KISSED ENOUGH FROGS

NOT EVEN BEING THE PRINCESS

BECAUSE IF I WERE THE QUEEN OR THE PRINCESS

HE WOULD HAVE NEVER OF RAN OFF ON ME TO SOME BITCH WITH PERFECT SKIN

AND PERFECT TEETH AND HAIR THAT GLISTENS

LOVE ME

YOU’LL NEVER FUCKING LOVE ME

YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE ME

DIFFICULT LITTLE FEMINIST FURY

SOMETHING IN A SKIRT YOU RUSH OFF TO IN A HURRY

YOU DON’T NEED ME

YOU DON’T WANT ME

AND IF YOU SAY YOU DO

I’LL SMASH THAT FILTHY MOUTH OFF OF YOU!

Boring Day
mrow today'z been kinda boring and I am so fucking pissed off at thiz bitch ass compuker the stupid fucking dvd thingy won't werk right now I really, really wanted to watch Sailor Moon ;/ and I couldn't get the stupid dvd thingy upstairz on the fawked up compuker to werk either and like I came bak down here and Katie ahd been iming me i felt SO bad for not being down here i did have an way message up but it waz myne of if you were special nuff I'd come jump ya and I wazn't down here to jump her ;/ I felt mega bad for that one coz I love Katie to death. hmm shyeah everyone'd left me and I got bored so I went upstairz to find something to do and watched tv for a bit nothing waz really on waiting for that bitch compuker tomaybe werk of course it never did ;/ so now I'm bak down here listening to Garbage and I wrote something where I had thiz nice little encounter with Justin earlier we hadn't talked in agez and like he imz me on AiM like how have you been mahn I'm like first off I am NOT a mahn. and hez like just joking I'm like sure. Then he and I talk for a few minutez and then he'z like so do you have a boyfriend? I'm like uhm no not at the moment. He'z like wanna cyber I'm like uhm no? he'z like why not? I'm like because that'z not my style? Also, because after my ex I don't exactly want sex and because I don't let anyone use me for sex I had too many people do that before and that'z not in my ideal'z any more. No one'z going to use me ever again. Sex iznt worth the bull shit of that. shyeah so he'z like how about on the phone for phone sex? I'm like NO. he'z like please Heather I need you i love you I'm not getting it from Missy please pelase please I'm like NO I tell him I've heard thiz bull shit from a zillion men and I no longer buy any of it. I can tell when it'z genuine and when they just want sex. If they talk to me about nothing but sex then it'z a please go away? mrow so finally I'm like to him I'm a lesbian he'z like Missy iz too j/king. I'm like well I'm a REAL lesbian. So he'z iike oh okay bye and blackz me lmfao. Steve waz like trying to tell him to leave me alone too on msn and he kept telling him i waz telling him i wanted him and that i said i loved him bull shit. mrow still downloading Zwan Andrew sent me their full cd tonight ;p mrow if I ever get it finished I wanna see if he'll send me hiz Unwritten Law cd. mrow I honestly think I kinda love him. He'z like the most sweetest guy. mrow he turnz me on too. mrow and I can't scare him and he doezn't act all weird around me like most guyz I've gotten with before likez it. ;p Katie and I had thiz discussion of dreamz earlier She had thiz terrible dream about Hanz telling her he wanted to have nothing to do with her and she hazn't been able to get a hold of him she'z worried about him I know and she haz a bad vibe feeling going on about him. God he needz to stop fucking hurting her. Let'z see I kinda wanna listen to Jack off Jill. ohhh yeah I finally got that song downloaded by Lacuna Coil called Comalies that Tascha told me about agez ago it'z fawking awesome!! I LOVE that song mrow eih guess that'z about it sighZ I've kinda been hiding down in my room the last few dayz.Ohhh yeah found a cd for ms workz tonight too didn't think I had that mrow izh glad she haz a better thingy to use to write ;p anyayz guess that'z it

laterZ

Push

a little bit more than i ever wanted a little bit more than you could ever say did you really think that i'd forgotten kicked out the windshield water coming in fade away fade away

push just a little too late is this what you want what you need what you wanted me to be always loved me strapped to you lock it down and drive me through

tried to give more than you thought i'd take now taking more than you could ever say push come to shove you kicked me in the head you knock me down i ripped the handle off again i wanted more than this wanted more than this fade away fade away

push just a little too late is this what you want what you need is this what you wanted me to be always loved me strapped to you lock it down and drive me through

hands gripped to the wheel held too tight to feel face pressed to the glass please don't ask one breath one more it's alright

i could give enough have enough be enough you could never stand to stay there only only only fade away fade away

push just a little too late is this what you want what you need is this what you wanted me to be always loved me strapped to you lock it down and drive me through

push just a little too late i wanted more than this i expected more than this

-Moist

Dawn
On the darkest hour of the darkest dawn when the last of the rightist blood shall be drawn and all that is left are evil and tortured souls the gates shall open and left loose all the dwell and all the reside in a place called hell.

that'z my favorite poem that Matt wrote and showed me very meish ;p

Do You Remember?

Do you remember back when we were young? And our energy was so high strung.

Do you remember those hot summer days. And how we watched the fire fly's with amaze.

Then we had to go home Because our parents were calling. So just remember those dayz when ever you feel your self stalling.

that'z also by Matt and also published

Love

I met you by fate, and we did not hesitate.

Our love seemed so perfect, when it was really full of flaws.

We lived apart, far apart, yet we acted like we were together.

Nothing mattered to us, as long as we loved each other.

my friend Matt wrote thiz he'z having it published very very good stuff ;p

Yeah

yeah yeah yeah

i gave you everything what'd you give to me a pocket full of empty rings with diamonds that can sing the most that i could ever hope is that you'd start to feel so real

yeah yeah yeah

what i want is what you want but what i want is more i'm tired of the questions am i left in scorn the drugs are my addiction she's laying on the tiles of my floor

yeah yeah yeah

'cause you are my falls as you are my own and you built my will but what i want you can't fucking kill

yeah yeah yeah

everyone is not as one everyone's the same they're asking for a moment they're looking out to blame so am i independent or am i just playing my own games

yeah yeah yeah

'cause you are my falls as you are my own and you built my guilt but when i can you just never will

yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah

'cause you are my falls well you are my own it's your will in my guilts

yeah yeah yeah

-Zwan

Going Down

you can't get through it you can't get over it you can't get around

just like in a dream you'll open your mouth to scream and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes you can't believe your ears you can't believe your friends you can't believe you're here

and you're not gonna get through it so you are going down

i put a cup out on the window sill to catch the water as it fell now i got a glass half full of rain to measure the time between when you said you'd come and when you actually come

little mister limp dick is up to his old tricks and thought he'd call me one last time but i'm just about done with the oh-woe-is-me shit and i want everything back that's mine

-Ani Difranco

Done Wrong

the wind is ruthless the trees shake angry fingers at the sky the people hunch their shoulders hold their collars over their ears and run by it's a cold rain it's a hard rain like the kind you find in songs i guess that makes me the jerk with the heartache here to sing to you about how i been done wrong

i am sitting, watching out the window of the coffee shop and i'm waiting, waiting waiting for it to let up i am rocking like a cradle warming my hands with the cup in between i am leaning over the table holding my face over the steam

and before it gets so cold that the rain turns to snow there's just a couple things i'd like to know

like how could you do nothing and say, i'm doing my best how could you take almost everything and then come back for the rest how could you beg me to stay reach out your hands and plead and then pack up your eyes and run away as soon as i agreed

it just all slips away so slowly you don't even notice till you've lost a lot i've been like one of those zombies in vegas pouring quarters into a slot and now i'm tired and i am broke and i feel stupid and i feel used and i'm at the end of my little rope and i am swinging back and forth about you

and before it gets so cold that the rain turns to snow there's just a couple things i'd like to know

like how could you do nothing and say, i'm doing my best how could you take almost everything and then come back for the rest how could you beg me to stay reach out your hands and plead and then pack up your eyes and run away as soon as i agreed

-Ani Difranco

Adam and Eve

tonight you stooped to my level i am your mangy little whore now you're trying to find your underwear and then your socks and then the door and you're trying to find a reason why you have to leave but i know it's 'cuz you think you're adam and you think i'm eve

you rhapsodize about beauty and my eyes glaze everything i love is ugly i mean really, you would be amazed just do me a favor it's the least that you can do just don't treat me like i am something that happened to you

i am truly sorry about all this

you put a tiny pin prick in my big red balloon and as i slowly start to exhale that's when you leave the room i did not design this game i did not name the stakes i just happen to like apples and i am not afraid of snakes

i am truly sorry about all this i envy you your ignorance i hear that it's bliss

so i let go the ratio of things said to thing heard as i leave you to your garden and the beauty you preferred and i wonder what of this will have meaning for you when you've left it all behind i guess i'll even wonder if you meant it at the time

-Ani Difranco

Joyful Girl

i do it for the joy it brings because i'm a joyful girl because the world owes me nothing and we owe each other the world i do it because it's the least i can do i do it because i learned it from you and i do it just because i want to because i want to

everything i do is judged and they mostly get it wrong but oh well 'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged and the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff that they say and she looks me in the eye and says would you prefer the easy way no, well o.k. then don't cry

i wonder if everything i do i do instead of something i want to do more the question fills my head i know there's no grand plan here this is just the way it goes when everything else seems unclear i guess at least i know

i do it for the joy it brings because i'm a joyful girl because the world owes me nothing and we owe each other the world i do it because it's the least i can do i do it because i learned it from you and i do it just because i want to because i want to

-Ani Difranco

Out of Me

no no no no no no no no no no no no no more

it's gonna be sudden it's gonna be strange i'm gonna turn on a dime give you 5 cents change it's gonna be long overdue it's all gonna come out out of me, on to you

out of me on to you

one of these days you're gonna push too hard we'll go on like we've always done till you go too far one of these days it's gonna reach the top then it's gonna start to spill and it's not gonna stop

out of me on to you...

no more

some people wear their smile like a disguise those people who smile a lot watch the eyes i know cause i'm like that a lot you think everything's okay it is till it's not

out of me on to you...

no more

some people wear their heart up on their sleave i wear mine underneath my right pant leg strapped to my boot don't think cause i'm easy i'm naive don't think i won't pull it out don't think i won't shoot

out of me on to you...

no more

most people like to talk a lot including you you know there isn't much i have to say that i wouldn't rather just shut up and do i'm gonna miss you when you're gone i'm gonna be torn just remember that i love you just remember you were warned

out of me on to you...

no more no more.

-Ani Difranco

Napoleon

they told you your music could reach millions the choice was up to you you told me they always pay for lunch and they believe in what i do and i wonder if you'll miss your old friends once you've proven what you're worth and i wonder when you're a big star will you miss the earth and i know you always, always want more i know you, you'll never be done

because everyone is a fucking napoleon everyone is a fucking napoleon

and the next time that i saw you you were larger than life yeah you came and you conquered you were doing all right you had an army of suits behind you and all you had to be was willing and i said i still make a pretty good living you must make a killing, a killing and i hope that, that you are happy i hope that at least you are having fun

oh but everyone is a fucking napoleon well everyone is a fucking napoleon

you say that, so that's the way it's gonna be so that's what this is all about i think that that's the way it always was you chose not to notice until now oh now that, now that there's a problem you call me up to confide and you go on for over an hour about each one that took you for a ride and i guess that you dialed my number because you thought for sure that i'd agree i said baby, you know i still love you but how dare you complain to me

oh but everyone is a fucking napoleon everyone is a fucking napoleon everyone is a fucking napoleon

-Ani Difranco

Superhero

sleep walking through the all-nite drug store baptized in fluorescent light i found religion in the greeting card aisle now i know hallmark was right and every pop song on the radio is suddenly speaking to me art may imitate life but life imitates t.v. 'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks two weeks and three days and let's just say that things look different now different in so many ways

i used to be a superhero no one could touch me not even myself you are like a phone booth that i somehow stumbled into and now look at me i am just like everbody else

if i was dressed in my best defenses would you agree to meet me for coffee if i did my tricks with smoke and mirrors would you still know which one was me if i was naked and screaming on your front lawn would you turn on the light and come down screaming, there's the asshole who did this to me stripped me of my power stripped me down

i used to be a superhero no one could hurt me not even myself you are like a phone booth that i somehow stubmled into and now look at me i am just like everybody else

yeah you've been gone exactly two weeks two weeks and three days and now i'm a different person different in so many ways tell me what did you like about me and don't say my strength and daring 'cuz now i think i'm at your mercy and it's my first time for this kind of thing

i used to be a superhero i would swoop down and save me from myself but you are like a phone booth that i somehow stumbled into and now look at me i am just like everybody else

-Ani Difranco

Shameless

i cannot name this i cannot explain this and i really don't want to just call me shameless i can't even slow this down let alone stop this and i keep looking around but i cannot top this

if i had any sense i guess i'd fear this i guess i'd keep it down so no one would hear this i guess i'd shut my mouth and rethink a minute but i can't shut it now 'cuz there's something in it

we're in a room without a door and i am sure without a doubt they're gonna wanna know how we got in here and they're gonna wanna know how we plan to get out we better have a good explanation for all the fun that we had 'cuz they are coming for us, babe and they are going to be mad yeah they're going to be mad at us

this is my skeleton this is the skin it's in that is according to light and gravity i'll take off my disguise the mask you met me in 'cuz i got something for you to see just gimme your skeleton give me the skin it's in yeah baby, this is you according to me i never avert my eyes i never compromise so never never mind the poetry

i gotta cover my butt 'cuz i covet another man's wife i gotta divide my emotions into wrong and right then i get to see how close i can get to it without giving in then i get to rub up against it till i break the skin rub up against it till i break the skin

they're gonna be mad at us thy're gonna be mad at me and you thy're gonna be mad at us and all the things we wanna do

just please don't name this please don't explain this just blame it all on me say i was shameless say i couldn't slow it down let alone stop it and say you just hung around 'cuz you couldn't top it

-Ani Difranco

Untouchable Face

think i'm going for a walk now i feel a little unsteady i don't want noone to follow me except maybe you

i could make you happy, you know if you weren't already i could do a lot of things and i do

tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you too bad you had to have a better half she's not really my type but i think you two are forever and i hate to say it but you're perfect together

so fuck you and your untouchable face fuck you for existing in the first place and who am i that i should be vying for your touch who am i bet you can't even tell me that much

2:30 in the morning my gas tank will be empty soon neon sign on the horizon rubbing elbows with the moon safe haven of the sleepless where the deep fryer's always on radio is counting down the top 20 country songs

out on the porch the fly strip is waving like a flag in the wind you know i really don't look forward to seeing you again soon.

you look like a photograph of yourself taken from far far away i won't know what to do i won't know what to say

so fuck you...

see you and i'm so perplexed what was i thinking what will i think of next where can i hide in the back room there's a lamp that hangs over the pool table and when the fan is on it swings gently side to side there's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing i see orion and say nothing the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

-Ani Difranco

32 Flavors

squint your eyes and look closer i'm not between you and your ambition i am a poster girl with no poster i am thirty-two flavors and then some and i'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head cause someday you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will and i have done well by their names just the kindness i've lavished on strangers is more than i can explain still there's many who've turned out their porch lights just so i would think they were not home and hid in the dark of their windows till i'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl course too pretty is also your doom cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room and god help you if you are a phoenix and you dare to rise up from the ash a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying past

i'm not trying to give my life meaning by demeaning you and i would like to state for the record i did everything that i could do i'm not saying that i'm a saint i just don't want to live that way no, i will never be a saint but i will always say

squint your eyes and look closer i'm not between you and your ambition i am a poster girl with no poster i am thirty-two flavors and then some and i'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head cause someday you might find you're starving and eating all of the words you said

-Ani Difranco

Not a Pretty Girl

i am not a pretty girl that is not what i do i ain't no damsel in distress and i don't need to be rescued so put me down punk maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

i am not an angry girl but it seems like i've got everyone fooled every time i say something they find hard to hear they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear and imagine you're a girl just trying to finally come clean knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty and smiling

and i am sorry i am not a maiden fair and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation wouldn't be caught dead working for the man and generally i agree with them trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan and i have earned my disillusionment i have been working all of my life and i am a patriot i have been fighting the good fight and what if there are no damsels in distress what if i knew that and i called your bluff? don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down whether or not you ever show up

i am not a pretty girl i don't want to be a pretty girl no i want to be more than a pretty girl

-Ani Difranco