Name: Gothy/Heather/PiXy/Iscis
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Good Question Hate Bun Bun Not sure where thiz comez from found it on Tascha'z journal and happen to like it I thought the future held a perfect place for us That together we would learn to be the best that we could be In my naivety I ran I fell and lost my way Somehow I always end up falling over me And one day I woke to find The future had no place for me I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I helped build Where once was honesty and pride I now stand broken and alone Just a shadow of what I was meant to be They say that "Time will heal" "The truth shall set us free" Well that depends on what it is that you choose to believe In this prison made of lies We see what it is we want to see And find comfort in this broken hall of dreams Does anybody feel the way I do? Is there anybody out there? Are you hearing me? I believe in you Will you believe in me? Or am I alone in this hall of dreams? I believe in you You believe in me But I have no trust in anything Somehow I'm always always falling over me Somehow I'm always I'm always falling over me The Great Below *SighZ* Can't Stop it! Kissy I like thiz quote I found it on Tascha'z journal Some of the worst things in the world have been done with the best intentions. Confused laterZ You have no grace You’ll realize this when you fall flat on that face I no longer can provide comfort Because I lack sympathy For the natural born pervert You know who you are a fool who doesn’t love me You had your customary dessert You ate me up on April Fool’s day You said I can’t love you when you call me on Wednesday No I can’t love you when you hang on to me this way Why did I do it Why in the hell did you do it I wanted you to do it You know hell wanted you to do it Come on why’d I do it Come on baby tell me with your angelic foolery why did you do it! I want to know the facts labeled in that drug rotted head of yours I want to know your little pussy hidden secret that lies behind those alcohol plastered doors Tell me the secret Tell me your secret I told you all of mine and they dripped down into hatred Hatred that you loved Ambivalence poured from five veins I told you a truth and you stole it away in vain I told you I love you but it never entered your brain Did she taste good The one who was before me Did she look good The one who came after me Did she lack the essence I hovered Tell me Oh won’t you tell me Master Master Lying on the floor Disaster Disaster Biting into my every pore We lost it that night When we lost each other When I found the knife When you found another The blood began to pour down my eyelids You drank with greediness with two vulgar lips Did my blood become sugar coated Did it taste imported? It must have been made out of magic Because my blood became an element you licked You never stopped it Until she lay dead underneath of it Lips kissed from afar Hugs centered and enclosed in a jar I miss them Like I miss you You forgot all about them Just like you forgot me too Let’s not argue about this My head’s argued enough with it Trying to make sense of all this When taking small little red pills To forget all the nonsense That clutters my mind of nothingness The one that you used to fill Until you found time standing still Around my undesignated name The one you brought yourself to not want to say You can forget about me Turn your back on me But I’ll still be there when you turn around Go to the farthest distance you can browse You’ll still hear me You’ll still think of me You’ll still know me Run from me You can’t abandon me Leave from me You can’t forsake me Go right ahead and discern me I no longer care what you feel about me Your mistake Your loss Your too fake Your too lost For me want to ever again take So this is my last consideration It’s over We’re through You can no longer have any hold of her So think about that when you think of what with her you had to lose I continue simple moves You continue my continuations I am you, and you are me I repeat, you repeat. If you want -be silent, Wait until it stops. If you want keys, 2 turns around If you want yours, If you want somebody's, If you want be like me And I continue Simple moves, I continue... Simple moves.. We continue simple moves Destroying irrigation. Somewhere you find, Somewhere you lose I repeat, you repeat. This is love, Springs are jumping. Tomorrow everyone Can be smaller then snowflake. We have to be on time Not refusing. We should be able Continue to live. Simple moves, continuing to live... Simple moves... Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Simple moves... Sorry for non sence, but this is just the way this song is. Also I am not sure about one part, because in song it says: We continue simple moves Destroying irrigation. Somewhere you find, Somewhere you lose I repeat, you repeat. but in the video it says: We continue simple moves We continue for continuation Don't ask me those questions just lets move simple. -Tatu I am all gone It is very serious Situation HELP Situation SOS I cannot understand myself Where did you appear form? The light is shutting down I am flying somewhere Without you there is no me I don't want anything It is the slow poison It is making me crazy But the say it is all my fault. I've lost my mind I've lost my mind I need her I need her I have lost my mind I need her. Without you I am not myself Without you there is no me But they say, they say It is delirium It is poison from the sun It is making me crazy But they say it is all my fault I did try to forget To the end and down I did count the poles And confused birds Without you there is no me Let me go, let me go To the corner and down Mom, Dad forgive me I've lost my mind I've lost my mind I need her I need her I have lost my mind I need her. 1,2 go after 5 Mom, Dad forgive me I've lost my mind 1,2 go after 5 Mom, Dad forgive me I've lost my mind I've lost my mind I've lost my mind I need her I need her I have lost my mind I need her. -Tatu Doschitai do sta (Count up to 100) He said "I'm tired" He won't be brought back You're counting up to 100 You are dreaming of falling asleep You're counting up to 100 100 random names And you should sleep and don't think about him And you should sleep and don't think about him And you should sleep and don't think about him Your boat is empty near the alien coasts/ banks You're counting up to 100 100 snows at a dawn This theme/ subject is simple You know what you shold do You shold just count up to 100, and forget You shold just count up to 100, and forget You shold just count up to 100, and forget FOR-E-VER So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 4 5 6 7 8 ...... 100 sleepless nights In the labyrinths of love 100 random keys But only zeroes as the result 100 friends, 100 enemies 100 melted icerocks Be forgetting about him. 101, 101 Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever Be forgetting about him, forgetting forever FOR-E-VER. So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 59, 60, 61, 62 ..... So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up to 100 So count, count, count up -Tatu Ja tvoya ne pervaja (I AM NOT YOUR FIRST) Hello... Hello... Do you see wind? So what? Just look at the window. So what? It was sun yesterday. So what? Why are you always saying the same thing? I am -answering machine. Just to calm down, Silence is gold, Radio insomnia, station parting. Who will get who, coins will show? Who will be left to who, By nerves, pills? Behind the windows at night (she) Will yell and break, this doesn't count, this doesn_t count. (She is) faithful, not faithful, quite, sad. I am not your first, You are my sudden. ( you) Show, show, show, show, show, show me love. ( you) show, show, show, show, why, why I am with you. ( you) Show, show, show, show, show, show me love. ( you) show, show, show, show, why, why I am with you. I guess (someone) will refuse, Easier not to meat ( not to introduce ourselves to each other) Who of us will refuse, Just to calm down. Girls like girls, And then- sleepwalkers. Numbers and narrows, Chocolate bars, wrappings. (she) Will hide, cry, Will, say, scare. This doesn_t count, this doesn_t count I am not your first, You are my sudden. ( you) Show, show, show, show, show, show me love. ( you) show, show, show, show, why, why I am with you. ( you) Show, show, show, show, show, show me love. ( you) show, show, show, show, why, why I am with you. -Tatu Nobody , never, will understand anything Such love is artificial honey, Artificial honey, artificial ice Artificial paradise, turn if faster on. And I won_t tell anyone, that I love robot, I love robot, I love robot. Robot, robot, robot, I love you, we wanted it so much Robot, robot, robot, I will turn you on, and lets fly. Robot, robot, There are electronical storms in your heart. Lets fly, lets fly, lets fly, lets fly. Robot, robot, robot, I love you, we wanted it so much Robot, robot, robot, I will turn you on, and lets fly. Robot, robot, There are electronical storms in your heart. Lets fly, lets fly, lets fly, lets fly. Such love, is unreal fly, Artificial honey, artificial ice. Such love, is artificial laugh, Artificial snow, and all that is like a dream. And I won_t tell anyone, that I love robot, I love robot, I love robot. Robot, robot, robot, I love you, we wanted it so much Robot, robot, robot, I will turn you on, and lets fly. Robot, robot, There are electronical storms in your heart. Lets fly, lets fly, lets fly, lets fly. Robot, robot, robot, I love you, we wanted it so much Robot, robot, robot, I will turn you on, and lets fly. Robot, robot, There are electronical storms in your heart. Lets fly, lets fly, lets fly, lets fly. -Tatu Say why am I waiting for the phone call. Why mute clouds. Sailing to me from afar, and melt. Why did love touched us. Why am I crying for the first time. Why do I want you now, I don't know. I am star, you are star. We were ordered to burn down. Someone gave away, and got The addresses of our meetings. Roughs on the eyes, And nobody will find. The voices will slip, And the ice will crush. And it nobody's without key, And crave in the bed And it is time to turn off, And they are on the back. (you) Smile, unleash, curtain the mirrors, tear up and say, dead, dead . (You) Lock or become nothing. And the hand doesn't tremble. Everything right with my hand May avenge 2õ2 on the taxi and (you) suck. But forgive, never. Never ask me for it. OK, OK I found the revenge Powder-everything I have Multiply by 6 Don't call me, don't call me I am tired, I am tired I don't want you You * me Say why am I waiting for the phone call. Why mute clouds. Sailing to me from afar, and melt. Why did love touched us. Why am I crying for the first time. Why do I want you now, I don't know. -Tatu I AM YOUR ENEMY (Ya tvoi vrag) Smoke of the cigars, Old bouquet 24 hours a day I am watching TV. The balcony is open wide And telephone doesn't ring. Cannot breathe without you And I am telling to myself. It just happened I am your enemy now What crime have I done? It just happened I am your enemy now I won't ask for forgiveness. City doesn't sleep. Time stops. Now , who are you playing with? Day or year, Was announced boycott for me. I can not understand how to live now. You can not forgive me. It just happened I am your enemy now What crime have I done? It just happened I am your enemy now I won't ask for forgiveness. -Tatu Boy Gay, Boy Gay, Boy Gay Boy, Boy, Boy, Boy Gay Boy Gay, Boy Gay, Boy Boy Gay, Boy Gay, Boy Gay Boy Gay, Boy Gay, Boy Boy, Boy, Boy You looking gentle waiting for his attention feeling the same but i don't understand Haw long can you live loving furtively? Very hard to hide your behavior. Very hard To hide my suffering Very,very,very,very indecent wish. Boy gay, boy gay, be more cheeky with me don't get red form the shame boy gay, boy gay Put it on your friends boy gay, boy gay from me ****** Boy gay, gay Tear strangle, thoughts make life more difficult. Hard to listen. No I don't understand. Yes, I know All your secrets How do you handle solid objects? Also know-this is hopeless But I dream-conceal-conceal-conceal. Boy gay, boy gay, Be more cheeky with me Don't get red from the shame boy gay, boy gay Put it on your friends Boy gay, boy gay from me ****** boy gay,gay -Tatu Can u see me now? Can u see me now? Can u see? All this weeping in the air, I can tell were about to fall through floating forests in the air Across the rolling open sea. Now I kiss and run through air. Leave the past find nowhere, Floating forests in the air clowns all around you. Clowns are here to let u know where u let your senses go. Clowns all around you its a cross i need to bear. All this black and cruel is fair, this is an emergency Don_t you hide your eyes from me, open them and see me now. Can u see me now? Can u see? Can u see me now? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see me now? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see me now? Can u see me now? Can u see clowns all around you. Can u see? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see me now? Floating, floating, floating, floating. See me here in the air not holding on to anywhere But holding on so beware I have secrets I wont share. See me here wishing you if I don_t deny I do contemplate our wish away. If I ask u not to stay, clowns are here to let u know where u let your senses go, Clowns all around you it_s a cross I need to bare. All this black and cruel is fair, This is an emergency don_t you hide your eyes from me Open them and see me now. Can u see me now? Can u see me now? Can u see? Can u see? Can u see? -Tatu Just say, Then just 2 of us. Just lights Of the aerodrome. We'll run away They won't catch us. Further form them, further from home. Night guide Hide our shadows Behind the clouds. Behind the clouds They won't find us, they won't change us. They can not touch Stars with their hands. Sky will drop down Night on our palms. They won't catch us, They won't catch us. Sky will drop down Night on our palms. They won't catch us, They won't catch us. We'll run away, Everything will be easy. Night will fall down, Sky will drop it. And emptiness on the crossroads. And emptiness will not catch us. Don't say, they don't understand. Just without them, just mot past them. Better no way, But not return back. Just without them. Just without them. Sky will drop down Night on our palms. They won't catch us, They won't catch us. Sky will drop down Night on our palms. They won't catch us, They won't catch us. They won't catch us... -Tatu cry and run away or lock the door keep silence and lie studying the ceiling... dream not like everybody kiss the heaven ceiling is a carousel half an hour half an hour... half an our and trains crashes half an hour is not your lane half an hour half an hour not a question not an answer half an hour half an hour half an hour without you half an hour half an hour he and i half an hour each of us each of us half an hour goes to his own address half an hour felt down like everyone like in a dream I'm not i it's not my carousel and not my dream... smoke or unhappiness or rain on my eyes i'll come back i'll come back half an hour half an hour ... half an our and train crashes half an hour is not your lane half an hour half an hour not a question not an answer half an hour half an hour half an hour without you half an hour half an hour he and i half an hour each of us each of us half an hour goes to his own address half an hour ... half an hour half an hour half an hour half an hour half an hour half an hour half an hour -Tatu All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head This is not enough I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost If I'm asking for help it's only because Being with you has opened my eyes Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise? I keep asking myself, wondering how I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me Nobody else so we can be free All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head All the things she said All the things she said Running through my head This is not enough This is not enough All the things she said All the things she said And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed They say it's my fault but I want her so much Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain Come in over my face, wash away all the shame When they stop and stare - don't worry me _Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget But it's driving me mad, going out of my head Mother looking at me Tell me what do you see? Yes, I've lost my mind Daddy looking at me Will I ever be free? Have I crossed the line? -Tatu thiz iz an e-mail I wrote to Jon earlier eih nothing much iz going on here Im just aggravated my familyz been getting on my nervez majorly badly today I got a couple of moviez tonight so I'm going to wait until we go bak out steal some yummy yummy coricidin unwind and watch Abandon and Swimfan fun fun shit. shyeah I know Melissa thinkz I'm a major hypocrite for the way I do coricidin and tell her not to try and die and shit but to be honest I'm not doing it to die, I'm just doing it to get through each day of my life that are so majorly castrated. I'm really trying to end my bad habitz tho for the sakez of those who REALLY do care about me like you and Don and Jill and Joy and Christina. sighz it'z just so hard with everything that happenz and I'm not honestly too stable emotionally. I just can't bring myself to fucking care about Melissa any more to be quite honest. I had thiz majorly disconcerning conversation with my mom in the car we were talking about the presidency I majorly want Clinton bak in office the only thingz I see him having done wrong were outlawing smoking in public placez and sleeping around then again what mahn in society doeznt sleep around? She waz like not all men are like that and she just doeznt know how it really iz every mahn ive ever been with either wanted to use me for sex or did use me for sex. I say no to that bull shit any more but it doeznt stop them from asking and pleading. Women are the exact same way too from my experiencez thatz why I'm so afraid to ever get in another relationship. sighz anyayz were talking through im so thiz iz good nuff for the email wove ya Heath Why Can't I Make it Stop? laterZ Cold stainless steel chains made of chrome enrapture my tortured soul Never again being able to embrace exactly what you stole A sharp, shiny, piercing silhouette of a dagger floats above, just far enough from my reach The perfect blade begins to unsheathe Cold, chilling sensations enthrall my stubby fingers as I grip the handle An aching deep inside begins to dismantle Battling insanely, for control as I purge myself to cut away the chains of my flesh To expose the external epidermis and show my true crest Looking to the heavens of oblivion, the dagger once again appears Only this time upon it a crimson, cranberry, austerely, gushing stain is smeared Is the red river of serum yours or mine? Seeping out like the prickling touch of a rose's thorny vine The salty, metallic, malificent taste trickles into my warm, little mouth Totally sick, demented, and depraved is what I've destructively became Drinking the forbidden fruit's juice brings me no humiliating shame I've tasted blood now I want more The force of life helps to aid and restore Just one tiny drop could never possibly settle the score Evilness overpowers and flows through my veins The deviantly, demented, desolate, diabolic, dark side has come to rule and reign The rapturous pool encircles me, and my devilish eyes fall on a sight tantalizingly divine Nothing can stop me now when both worlds collide and inter twine My violated heart realizes there's no turning point now No, not after I've begged for the portals of hell to coincide with my solemn vow In deeply far too great There's no hope now the hands of fate have turned and it's too late A tumultous sound of laughter pierces the midnight sky Paranoid, many sleepless nights spent awake wishing I could die Tearing and thrashing at my vulnerably raped insides Wishing to rip them out to dispose of the worthless guilt of myself I exceedingly hide Treading into a supremely bright, benevolent room filled with superficially smiling, attractive angels Dying to be accepted and longing to be held in loving arms But no matter what amount of my charismatic charm I give of myself to this hypocritical crowd, I receive nothing in return They believe they hold the whip to spurn Neurotically mad, I can stand it no longer I break the painted smiles off of their porcelain faces and strip each delicately feathered wing piece by piece Suffocating the malignance of their malice A fiendish witch, violence has become my saucy source of solution Disarrayed in my state of confusion Intensely consuming the angels tainted blood for a transforming transfusion Abuse becoming my cynically redeeming retribution Loverboy you've got me spinning under the dizzy moon My broken heart beaten black and blue carries the ugly wound I thought I'd found you once again Reality grips me by the shoulders whispering little girl you'll never win I thought the fiend had died and gone to hell, a ghost returning from the grave I am jealousy's misfit slave Sex with you is merely all she craves Using you to be her puppet, her toy Treating you like an insolent little boy Owning your willful mind and every single thought Cellophane wrapped, deviantly chosen and intrusively bought I try in vain to take you over, but not to put you under mindless control But my siege of your love is forbidden Still I stand with my nose pressed to the glass smitten If only you'd open up your eyes If only you'd look past the sinister lies If only you'd give me my fleeting chance Looking to a supernatural force to enhance Your eyes meet mine in a divine light But you quickly look away with an inner fright Scared that I'll see right through your aloof act I'd turn your emotions upside down leaving nothing in tact You know you love me You're just scared to be with me I'll move as slowly as I can Letting you stay the macho man I know you must be I'll wait as long as I have to until you see You can remove your camouflage Your little world torn apart, brought down by the sabotage Afraid of receiving a bad reputation Don't you ever get bored by the lack of complication? A spineless jelly fish You were my favorite wish But this is why you look away Why you'll no longer come to play I thought you to be more bold, way more daring But now all I see is you being a marionette to one who is way too overbearing Enjoy the exhillerating ride while it lasts Your flaws I can no longer look past I'm through With a coward like you Why is everyone so afraid to die Isn't it much easier just to say good-bye You sit there and reluctnatly stare You guiltlessly walk on polluated air You breathe it into your lungs too Women should be woo'd and were not made to woo You left me for an orthodoxed prude I love you You've always knew I've done my best, there's nothing left here for me to do I no longer want to try Without you here I'd rather die I tell myself it will all be okay to see the next day come by It becomes more harder to proficiently pry Myself away from the memories of these god forsaken shadows Words you have spoken ring back through my ears to echo I can't leave, no other place is as familiar and unique as this to know Hiding my feelings, these I no longer can show I thought I'd always belong to you The nirvana I gazed at unfortunately was not the same as you viewed The perfect world you and I used to only include Your perfect angel's face came upon to intrude I wouldn't have minded for anyone to see me nude I would have sex with you at any time, any place and any way, even while being on the top of the roof With me you would never have had to asked if I approved To have me and use me to painlessly screw The fact that I loved you with all my entity, the love making we would have shared would have fulfilled me like food I no longer will be the prejudice of your sin, while being blamed for consuming the forbidden fruit Having to fill your bed with filth, since you can't be satisfied by your ice princess you have to find someone to substitute Your the true sinner, going after every tart in pursuit I'm not your little puritan who's sexuality is entirely aloof Not being able to put two and two together to come up with the truth I see you and your sinister moves I'm not the one you any longer have to pacify or soothe I could have kept you quite warm with my desire that was as hot as the flames of the crescent sun's descent Yet you threw me away, and to her bed is where you went You burn and burn took enough of my skin You've gone too far now I won't give in Even though I still love you as much as the ripening vines of the reddest rose it no longer is in my best interest I no longer am impressed Don't come crawling back to me asking for favors as a ridiculous request I no longer want you touching me or having swollen breasts So take your lips away from mine don't let me catch them pressed To you I'm just another prized trophy to collect To sit upon the wall and locked away in your castle's dungeon, When you know I have to leave before another inch of me breaks down You think I'll stay here forever and always be around For you to capricely call upon me? You believe staying with a prude your sins will drown? I believed our love was meant to be You think that relationship will last-no destruction I can already plainly see You're too wildly reckless and free To bold and exactly like me I'm tired of being discarded and deserted While you hide behind your majesty's royal curtains Doing anything she beckons and demands A statue polished for her maggoting collection that's grown so grand Buying her more jewels of rubies and silver to clutter her small already sinking hands You hate obeying her commands Yet you do it to get your satisfaction from her lips I know I'm all alone No one is any longer at home In the labyrinths path is where they all roam As you look into the trees You can gaze but you don't see Lost in the dark woods of the Sleepyhollow Scared by the dark haunting paths, which you are unsure to follow Everybody's gone there, but you don't seem to care What's with everyone and this garden? Everything turned into my worse phobia A criminally insane female's utopia If you're lost no one can show ya But I sure was glad to know ya Only crazy people take a chance On the garden song and dance Feel the flowers as they wrap around one taste of your nectar and I slowly drowned Only ugly girls do without You can find it all inside Just let your individuality be the light to guide We all believe we've lost our minds But we're just lost in the garden's rustling vines They can lead you to yourself Don't listen to the impish tree elves Listen to the PiXy's their the one's to believe In their shimmering eyes a soul you shall receive Tricked by the woodswoman Saying you really want love Left speechless from your answer that's not good enough Hello I'm here to invite you to things you cannot feel And If you push me too far You just might believe Im real The crimson markings on your sweater Gives you permission to lie and steal Or do you believe it better To obsess and not reveal I know your secret that lies beneath the dirt It scrapes down below the surface Everything used to have a purpose Now everything'just hurts Don't try to hide it Though you cannot feel What you are is something That I hope I won't reveal Hello I'm here to invite you To things you cannot feel And if you fall apart You might just think I'm real You can't erase what you are So don't even try And how can I be truthful When my entire life's a tremendous lie Real Real You think I'm not real Hold on to your everybody The people that you know are the ones you hate, Break me you covetous creature Then piece me back together like a star Come on now, come on now The bigger that you get the more you wait Show me how, show me how The less you know the better off you are Covet Then say again you love it learn to break Want this my love your mistake I learned just how to beat you Cause everything you say just disappears So glad I got to meet you I crave everything your tempestuous heart ever feared Hold on now, hold on now You taught me how to destroy and how to demand Show me how show me how To impale saliva into their grimacing mouths Crawling with your dick in the sand Envy it Then say again you love it Learn to violate Want this my love Your mistake I dont need this pathetic existence any more You all think you're such royal masters Man is the worse type of whore Yeah push it in faster You're heading for a real disaster You lying, cheating, stealing bastard! Stuck to the walls plaster This won't be the final chapter You won't receive what deep down your after You say all I do is sit in some chatroom online You think you own all of my time You stupid illegitemate swine I'm the one who has no life? I don't think so! When you become a man then maybe your dick will grow Until then don't come around my world whining When these songs about your disgusting ass are used and famous I'll be the one shining You'll be one of the millions sitting at home waiting to see their favorite band when I walk across that shimmering stage Disdain will sever your face because I made it big time and you're still sitting there trying to run your little fascist party in operation as it collapses and you throw a fit of rage You have no right to judge I've never done a single thing to be condemned or begrudged What's your problem? Whatever it is you seriously need to solve it Yeah so what if I am a teenage dirtbag? You have such a better life to go off about and brag? You're lifes even more depressing and a drag Burning down your Nazi flag At least I'm not a fucked up scumbag Chorus You believe I'm such a controlling little slut Better make that fat hot airbag mouth of yours shut up Before I do I'll smack, slap, and punch you That's right I'm not afraid Listen up here's one little feminist who won't be degraded Not by your fucked up brain Myself to you no need to explain Your thoughts to me mean nothing and their lack of content they contain Chorus Thinking you're so nifty being a dictating, totalitarian tyrant You're such a dog you go and piss on a fire hydrant A black bearded pirate I'll make you clash with the rocks by my sweet voice of a siren There's nothing more sadistic than an infant Waving his pistol in my face All your awful deeds to me I just erase Because I don't really give a damn what your pitiful mind sees me as Stupid pompous ass Good for nothing and crass I think I'll pass I won't be as ditsy as all the little girls who love to talk to you in enormous mass What youre girlfriend sees in you I'll never know You're an ugly little troll Around you is a dimension I never again want to go I will love someone for eternity and my love from him shall never be returned Kill me now and let my soul be burned Bury its ashes in the silverest of urns Any more I can no longer put up with this electrifying torch Lying here praying to die nameless on my front porch Kissing and suck on my tongue, the poison seeps into scorch You don't really want me You couldn't possibly love me You barely know me So please Don't fling those words in my face Your majesty requires a more bigger and better taste I'm sick of living the lie of your tragedy Telling me every single lie you can, trying to suck up to me as a strategy Shut up with your silver tongue; on me that type of flattery Just can't seem to work In the shadows is where I lurk I don't want you to love me, because you're not the right one Waiting here for exactly one month my patience has become undone Smiling at me under the sun I can't love you I can't love anyone ever again I'm still locked away and attached to my last lover like super glue Wondering where all my life have you been Then I get to have you love me for nine brief months Giving you everything a man could possibly want I wasn't phystically able to touch you I know That's not my fault and to this you know also But after I saw your face and your charismatic style in my eyes you were a swan and any other man a crow Why can't you just give me one more chance? Just one last is all I ask Give me one more chance To show You exactly what all I am made of and can give and I'll be entirely different You're absence of you is making me grow to resent I want you here now to save me from any other who's trying to take away my memories and dreams of you and your love Anyone else just can't understand that whatever they do just isnt enough I'm yours forever; until the moon crumbles and every star stops glowing Saturday night leaves a redness on my face I tasted you, you tasted me Seducing me with your divine taste Now left alone with precious thoughts of how fast a half an hour stops And talk so small I cant remember every single word Braced with a thick knife to put myself in my place Firm illusions cant be swayed Tell yourself your happy We both know the truth Its far behind the dirty talk The dirty sheets the dirty walk Your heart is open When completely open You can view and see There's something between you and me You lie when you say you don't believe In me and my contemplations of love I know you love me I apologize for me You say you'll just leave I need you more than you'll ever realize You're the only one who can bring me back to life And darling right now I'm dead While there's millions of tiny little images of you hopping around in my head Your voice is there too Telling me exactly what to do I can't stop loving you I need you Please come back Please before I take away the last breath and take away my body's slack Making my world go entirely pitch black I have nothing left to live for Exactly no reason I need to see you one last time to silence this breaking voice in my core I walk around gazing at others with huge sad eyes no matter what the season Was the whole time you said I love you just another act of treason Please answer me darling can't you see how strongly I implore? How much to me you mean? I sit here baking My face is breaking out Satans in my livingroom taking away everything The grim reapers on the back door coming with another greeting If you don't do something soon I will die because I must Time ticking slowly away On the longest day I have to end this pointless obsession You've left me here to ride upon a high depression Dreams going up in smoke Ready to dig my grave On my tears of misery I choke There's nothing left in me without your help to save And I weep at your feet But you just leave me there in a dying heap Lets lead this neurotic to her cell Leave me here without you unfulfilled Letz drown thiz abyss of jealousy Being interlocked in a nonexistant galaxy A galaxy of attracting love Your cinnamon and sugar taste I never can get enough You're a pearl in an oysters shell A pearl from an ocean of tears I'm going to snatch you away and covet you in my pocket and not give you to anyone else Let's get a little crazy Let's get a little wild Come on sugar let me in Come on baby kiss me no one's looking Don't worry about the curious eyes Because in my arms no one else can see beneath that austere little surface what lies Come on show me what you're made of Deep down Touching your body that looks so sexy in the buff Slipping down Under the velvet Don't do anything that you won't regret Chorus Little orphan boy I want to eat you up until your restraint is destroyed I want you to be my only lover The Prince Charming I ride off with into the sunset into the moonlight The one to keep me warm under the covers at night The one that I lose to no matter how much I think Im right Chorus I know you're just looking out for my best interest Keeping me safe you aim to protect I;m still scared Scared of losing every memory with you I've shared Because losing is the thing I do best You have me at a loss for words Do you have a secret weapon because this tendency is a first Suck this and suck that Isn't that What it's all about I hate being laughed at I'm not going to be the last resort of your sexual route I'm tired of being your abused little scout I refuse to be an obstacle of your doubt From this childish infatuation I need an immediate remedy Revolted by an electrical chemistry I'm not supposed to love my enemy Star crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet Our love becoming a threat Licking my lips only you could make my appetite this wet Dramatic becoming romantic Losing everything I soon break down and panic Everyone stares at my gothic nature as if I'm satanic But you've never really been scared Hoping you never stop your intent stares I'm fully aware That I'm not the only one that about you care Chorus I know and I'm okay with the fact that I'm not the only chick in your life Just knowing that I have you there to tuck me in under the covers at night Is enough to make everything still be all right If you were to ever go I'm sure I can gurantee There's no place on earth better than being here with me No one else could make you feel as comftorable or unique I know if I was there holding you in my arms nothing in anyone else you'd ever have to go looking for or seek Chorus Nothing is perfect just quite yet Wait a few years and I can bet That when you lay your hands upon me I'll steal your heart away forever I'll treat you so good you'll not think about letting me go ever You'll forget about any cheap little slut wearing daisy dukes Being with me the thought of cheating or having it done to you would make you want to puke What are you up to? That's what I've got to find out quickly before I lose you You think you've got your lies hidden in the dark I see you kissing her while the car is set in park The blade hitting the veins exact mark Vengence becoming the key It doesn't hurt what you can't see Isn't that theory right? You aren't getting any love from me not tonight I don't want to watch your lips or listen to you explain All I have to do is hang my head in shame Not understanding how I could have ever believed in you Stupid for thinking a swindler could ever be true Thinking longing for affection must have been the distraction I laid down with a dog and I woke up with fleas scratching Needing a real man for interaction Chorus Wondering what in you I ever saw The memories still locked inside eat away my intestines until they're raw You were just setting me up for another fall Hating myself for feeling something Our love to the floor has plummeted Chorus Throwing me on the grass thinking you can have at me another go Back away nice and slow Go find some other slut who will let you suck the juices of her pussy and have a taste I'm still looking for the love you promised I must now leave because I haven't a minute to waste I dont know if I can make it I don't know if I can keep going on I smile, but deep down I just can't take it I only feel and do things that are wrong I don't know if living is truly where i belong I no longer contain the element to be strong You took that away from me when you stopped coming Thinking that I must have the quality of nothing Since I'm no longer a principle you really need Cutting myself again with the scissors, this time i will bleed Counting cars go by Watching you walk out the door To get in yours and say good bye Yah just drive away What do you care about me any way? Don't tell me that I'm great I'm just another living, breathing, stupid human with a vertebrae I view myself with disgust and hate I'm not all you think I am so don't sit there and anticipate Especially when you're dumb enough to listen to the rumor of my nymphomaniac reputation Not that I care about a bad reputation Fantasizing about me doing the work of masturbation Don't touch me I don't want your sex or impregnation I won't ever live up to any of your men's expectations I SAID DONT TOUCH ME QUIT AIDING TO A PHYSICAL INVASION Just because you've heard I give sex doesn't necessarily mean I'm easy Notorize that fake paradise In the back of your head No I most certainly won't lay in your bed Don't say I love you don't speak those words Every single time you do I feel even more weird and violated Don't believe everything your ears have heard Because as much as in my past days I made love that part of me has began to fade Because my body belonged to only a certain significant other I'll never again love another And everytime you try and make love to my soul Only the memories of his love and the way I loved how he made love to me come back from that devoid whole Sex isn't love So stop trying to rape me that's enough I don't have what you desire I've had enough experience to tell me this with each time i've fallen in love to give me the knowledge to know and acquire I don't have the proper goods to satisy that any normal man requires Don't give me those lies I don't ever want to try Maybe you'll call me stubborn Maybe you'll call me complicated and confused I however am rubber Whatever you say will bounce right off of my anatomy even if it does bruise I won't let you take me down and just become another man's prized possession to be used I know you all say I should forget about his love I've tried my best Unfortunately it's the only thing left I'm made of Why can't you just be honest? Tease me Please me Go ahead and leave me Be my guest I'm not losing myself ever again just to gain your interest With your eyes stop undressing me In your eyes I'm invisible any way and you can't see Go ahead and freak out about me I hope you lose your mind without me I know you think you can see right through me It no longer makes any difference Every single thing I am this world no matter what any how is against Lather me up and then rinse Kill me please and then once again repeat Try and destroy my every defnese So you can have me as your sweet Your tasty morsel of a treat I'm sick of having to compete With your sluts who scour the town NO! I WONT BACK DOWN It's not just the means of holding my ground It's the way I convey and show my attitude Don't call me a prude Just because I only see one lover worth Of making out with, doing this with anyone else just hurts There are just reasons that pop into my head that are so specific Don't ask for me to share with you my antithesis The scars manifest and forever on my body they will stick I'm not just another mind to be analyzed for your experiment of a hypothesis I am a living breathing thing Even if this mortality is a part of me I wish I could kill and truly be dying I can't explain why It's just without him I feel like I've inherited an illness A thing that makes me lose my will to live It could be the fact my soul has nothing left to give Yes maybe you'll also call me selfish Because I can't love you back ever Call me a bitch Call me whatever you wish Call me stupid, even dumb Call me a PiXy, because I'm quite impish and mischievous Call me an ice queen with a heart entirely callous and numb Call me all the names in your book of remarks Your bite is worse than your bark You won't have me ever in this life time So stop giving me those eyes that are looking at me as I'm committing a crime For wanting to die It may be against your law But its not against mine I have nothing left to live for at all So good bye to this existence and body form Going back into the state I was before I became born Don't tell me I'm pretty Because I truly am scary No wonder you left me all alone in this strange city Yes I am a mystical fairy Get over that It means nothing either I may have come this far but I am no survivor Without your love I won't survive I know there's nothing left in your heart for you to provide Nothing left to be reconciled So I no longer will last I dont know if I can make it I don't know if I can keep going on I smile, but deep down I just can't take it I only feel and do things that are wrong I don't know if living is truly where i belong I no longer contain the element to be strong You took that away from me when you stopped coming Thinking that I must have the quality of nothing Since I'm no longer a principle you really need Cutting myself again with the scissors, this time i will bleed Counting cars go by Watching you walk out the door To get in yours and say good bye Yah just drive away What do you care about me any way? Don't tell me that I'm great I'm just another living, breathing, stupid human with a vertebrae I view myself with disgust and hate I'm not all you think I am so don't sit there and anticipate Especially when you're dumb enough to listen to the rumor of my nymphomaniac reputation Not that I care about a bad reputation Fantasizing about me doing the work of masturbation Don't touch me I don't want your sex or impregnation I won't ever live up to any of your men's expectations I SAID DONT TOUCH ME QUIT AIDING TO A PHYSICAL INVASION Just because you've heard I give sex doesn't necessarily mean I'm easy Notorize that fake paradise In the back of your head No I most certainly won't lay in your bed Don't say I love you don't speak those words Every single time you do I feel even more weird and violated Don't believe everything your ears have heard Because as much as in my past days I made love that part of me has began to fade Because my body belonged to only a certain significant other I'll never again love another And everytime you try and make love to my soul Only the memories of his love and the way I loved how he made love to me come back from that devoid whole Sex isn't love So stop trying to rape me that's enough I don't have what you desire I've had enough experience to tell me this with each time i've fallen in love to give me the knowledge to know and acquire I don't have the proper goods to satisy that any normal man requires Don't give me those lies I don't ever want to try Maybe you'll call me stubborn Maybe you'll call me complicated and confused I however am rubber Whatever you say will bounce right off of my anatomy even if it does bruise I won't let you take me down and just become another man's prized possession to be used I know you all say I should forget about his love I've tried my best Unfortunately it's the only thing left I'm made of Why can't you just be honest? Tease me Please me Go ahead and leave me Be my guest I'm not losing myself ever again just to gain your interest With your eyes stop undressing me In your eyes I'm invisible any way and you can't see Go ahead and freak out about me I hope you lose your mind without me I know you think you can see right through me It no longer makes any difference Every single thing I am this world no matter what any how is against Lather me up and then rinse Kill me please and then once again repeat Try and destroy my every defnese So you can have me as your sweet Your tasty morsel of a treat I'm sick of having to compete With your sluts who scour the town NO! I WONT BACK DOWN It's not just the means of holding my ground It's the way I convey and show my attitude Don't call me a prude Just because I only see one lover worth Of making out with, doing this with anyone else just hurts There are just reasons that pop into my head that are so specific Don't ask for me to share with you my antithesis The scars manifest and forever on my body they will stick I'm not just another mind to be analyzed for your experiment of a hypothesis I am a living breathing thing Even if this mortality is a part of me I wish I could kill and truly be dying I can't explain why It's just without him I feel like I've inherited an illness A thing that makes me lose my will to live It could be the fact my soul has nothing left to give Yes maybe you'll also call me selfish Because I can't love you back ever Call me a bitch Call me whatever you wish Call me stupid, even dumb Call me a PiXy, because I'm quite impish and mischievous Call me an ice queen with a heart entirely callous and numb Call me all the names in your book of remarks Your bite is worse than your bark You won't have me ever in this life time So stop giving me those eyes that are looking at me as I'm committing a crime For wanting to die It may be against your law But its not against mine I have nothing left to live for at all So good bye to this existence and body form Going back into the state I was before I became born Don't tell me I'm pretty Because I truly am scary No wonder you left me all alone in this strange city Yes I am a mystical fairy Get over that It means nothing either I may have come this far but I am no survivor Without your love I won't survive I know there's nothing left in your heart for you to provide Nothing left to be reconciled So I no longer will last I've been diagnosed with a screwed up heart syndrome Your hands like to slide down my ass to grope Wondering if you can see me through all the bubbles of foam You draw me you hard hearted adamant Yet you draw not iron or chrome My heart is pure as steel Hearing you breathe making me stop in my tracks paralyzing me to stand still I want to tell you my every thought and each emotion I feel I'm scared though if I'm just living a lie of your imagination is any of this devotion real Am I just a fantasy good at giving your mind a cheap thrill Some nights I want to die, others I just want to go out and kill Wondering if Im just another contender to stir up emotions to make jealous the heart of an old flame Every man believes Im a hell cat who merely needs to be kissed to be tamed Am I just your poker chip being layed down on the table as your last resort as you're being stripped of your game I guess with you I've had my fifteen minutes of fame Sometimes I wonder why you even try and remember my name I'm just a stupid little slut dressed in cellophane Do you ever think of how much some of the words you say hurt I know all you're woriied about is fucking some slut who's wearing a tight leather red mini skirt I see the crimson lipstick stains on your shirt When you cheat on me it makes me want to be buried in the sea or engraved in the dirt Sometimes I like to lick, others I like to bite Trying to push you away with all my might You break down my every ulterior defense Wondering if I'm wasting my time with you if the hours with you are worth being spent Wondering why I can never find someone completely decent Wondering about your real intent Still not being able to stop wondering what your flesh would feel like against The bare exterior epidermis of mine Catching me off guard as you grab me from behind Not understanding why having you around makes my face light up and my eyes shine You turn my brain to mush, I no longer contain a mind I'm wrapped around your finger around your legs I'm winded You illumination brighter than any velocity of a diamond leaving me quite blind Kissing my neck you send shivers down my spine Thinking of you when I hear the music of Rammenstein Your style is unknown and refined Trying to not let you touch me or kiss or find A way to make me forget everything, eating me up like a smorghasboard upon my delicacy you dine Trying to not let your tongue that drips over my lips get inside My mouth firmly closed my teeth knawlingly grind Losing my precise stamina and equilibrium as you won't stop the sensation of your sensation so divine Your tongue plunges into my mouth your masculinity and my feminity intertwined Every single memory I hear or see I have of you that constantly reminds Wondering if I could just stop this world in its time and place Then you come to take away this world of passion Only wanting a relationship thats platonic Wondering if you want me to act as the side of me thats quite demonic At times you love for me to be your wanton vixen thats entirely nymphonic All these mixed emotions leaving me a nervous wreck both worlds together clashing Your kisses feel like the most expensivest, silkiest velvet I want to be wrapped up in the center fo your love I want to feel it all over my body Your caresses softer than any flowers petals More ductable than any of the shiniest of metals Your remarkably charming qualities acting as a distraction Making up for all of your nasty actions I'm fading like the most delicate silver rose Comfort me from head to toe I shift with each time the wind blows You're the only thing I have left of myself I know You're the only one who's seen deep down at my dirty, negative landscape that to you has been already exposed This lifeless existence of mine I'd love of myself to dispose You tell me no Why is no always your answer? No ma'am, Yes sir Kissing me your taste, the blood boils and inside of me stirs All claws I'm a little hellcat, but in your arms like a kitten I purr Stroking my body as if it's an animals fur I can't be sweet nor demure Trying my best to be something I'm not is torture Into your arms I'm lured But is this where I'm supposed to be I'm always so unsure Not knowing exactly how you feel about me leaving me so insecure Maybe by not saying exactly what I feel I'm being immature You really want to hear what I've done? Then hear goes Caught inbetween not knowing what to do I'm torn I'm afraid by what I have to say you may be stunned I'll tell you if you really want to hear But I'm seriously afraid you'll run away from me with fear For what I've done I'm starting to feel dumb I can't resist as much as you plead and beg Not being able to share it with you though is turning me into a nervous wreck So read and listen to my lips Don't lose your magnificent grip As I tell you of my action so stupid I displayed my love for you in an insane arrangement at the greatest risk I wanted you to know I really feel something for you, ya dig? When you walk into a room my stomach is swallowed with butterflies Do you even notice or am I just another fucking cheap trhill that keeps you passing by I'm sick of having to cry I'm sick of being devoured and sacrificed as an offering to satisfy this blood thirsty emotion I;m sick of being another insect in your bountiful collection Hung up on your wall sucked in by the sugar Im just another fly Another object of your twisted affection I'm just another induced victim I sure know how to pick them Now don't I Every thug who professes their love just lies STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME Don't even try Come another inch closer and you're stupid cheating ass will fucking die I'm leaving on the run away train Nothing left here to explain I hate things that are cut and dry Earth and sky Don't tell me I'd be hard to get over if I died I see it happen every day and night Rejection bite Your depression makes you whine Your cries and your feet step all over my heart you don't really care about me and I see it more and more with time Chorus We both just had one of the worse days of our lifes There's no way to escape So suck it up and pretend to be happy and smile and be nice I'm nothing special and everything that exists inside and outside of me I hate Wanting to have your love cover me all over from head to toe draped What am I talking about though with a body so mis-shaped I'm just setting myself up for disaster, disappointment and later on owning a ripped cape Chorus I'd like to drown myself in liquor Be so damned out of it that I could join a merry band of ornery hipsters But then I'd not be myself So I guess that's not in my pictures Because I'm a paperdoll, I'm a sprite I'm a pixy, I'm a fairy I'm a cartoon, bright-eyed cheerful, happy go lucky, my nature so changeful and down right scary I can light up the darkest room Because underneath I'm entirely silly I'm miss die and live When you're greedy mouth is out looking for love, blood, and adoration to you I always give I'm a nomad run away Laughing at the rain as i've been led astray Here in this lost frustrated confusion I no longer can stay Why do women flock to someone as insensitive like birds do to capastrano Step away fast as you can pronto! Don't listen to a word this castrated dictator has to say Don't lose yourself in the design he illustrates Hes like a tarantualia waiting to bite through your skin and infect you with his poison while sucking deep into your blood To me he doesn't appear to be any type of stud I see through your superfical sweetner To you his heart is being deceitful You're thinking about how you love him, but he's forcing you to So phony yet so sweet when basted with fructose A lack of smell and pride you can't sniff out his lies with your nose You can't hurt me you can't even come close I'm not one bit scared In your eyes maybe I'm a rhinestone vixen But in mine your a stuffed shirt, overbearing, chauvanistic swine Your coampaign propaganda you use to manipulate people into loving you is worse than Hitler or Nixon Stay the hell away from this as you call me whore I'll set flames to all those high maintenance bridges, and destroy the throne where your ass is sitting Don't say I love you to any poor female It doesn't mean a thing fugitives like you should be tossed in jail Using your pretty flowery word of love as a cheap gimmick Just to slide a girls pants down and shove your dick in and take her virginity really quick You think you're so sly, so slick To me all you are is a weasle who doesn't have a dick You can't fool me with your imaginary subliminal tricks I see the way you have no idea what a connection is or the way it feels to click Every female to you is just another chick Not hearing our protestation because your skulls entirely too thick Chorus Someone who has no business in the world Not able to perform what you do as a man because they're a girl! They should be in the kitchen cooking your dinner and washing your clothes Barefoot and pregnant only good for procreating your children Uneducated, nothing but a beauty queen that is a vintage style prima donna who only wears skirts, stockings and pantyhose Wake up this is the twentieth century where the hell have you been? I can do anything just as good as you can No it doesn't make a difference because you have the organs of a man My organs are just as productive and stimulant I don't need testicles or genitals I still have balls and can work a job just as well Chorus Telling me all I am is a girl Who's living in a man's world Sex is everything, yet I don't buy it So take your act and shove it and stop trying A cruel creature Barking up the wrong tree Traitorous teacher What makes me breathe you'll never see You give men a bad name You give young boys a bad example Stop playing with hearts this thing of love isnt a game Of gravity or oxygen don't bet on luck love's not something to toy with and a heart's not something to be used as a bet to gamble Under my feet your body will be trampled! Do you believe in love at first sight? Well I don't now good night That's right Your stuffed ears heard me and I said no Now back off and just turn around and please go Stop trying to slowly force my mistakes out of me for you to know To be able to fuck my brains out What's all this about Come any closer without those pants on and I'll scream and shout Stop telling me sex is also love It may be known as making love Sex without feeling just isnt enough I have to feel that really good stuff First before I do anything rough Don't tie me up or slap on the handcuffs Taking me against my will is labeled as rape I'll break out and escape No this doesn't feel good and it surely doesn't feel great Did you not hear the words my pouty little mouth said? Don't pin me down to this bed Get the hell away from me I said no So I'll be more graphic Go out that door And go play in some traffic Receiving nothing but static On this z like planet Chorus You're not allowed to come any closer to me if you're unclothed Why don't you just go home? Love is a principal I long ago disowned So is sex I lost the thrill between my legs I won't be next On your pathetic sexy girls list This is where I draw the line and insist This is the moment me and my best friend take the secret path of an unknown entrance Chorus Stop looking at me with those sad eyes I am a wolf but I wear sheeps clothing for disguise I'm sick of hearing all these lies Relationships are a form of bondage I despise My body shall never be suffice Enough for the one I only for have eyes I'm not anything to be won, I'm no prize I'm not anything special to any guy Stop trying to steal my heart I don't wish to ever love again or cry Once my heart's broken You think my daredevil style is something you can definitely handle To my wildness you don't hold a candle My heart is the main thing you wish to vandelize There's a problem beneath the abyss of this that lies My essence's already been taken and stolen Fingering myself my tender flesh becomes swollen Lots of people like to say I'm a bad influence Telling you from me you should keep your distance That the only feeling I can bring you is pestilence I'm the object of your affectionate prejudice Your lies sir do me a great injustice You want a queen with eyes like diamonds, since only the best will suffice I'm not the known type or taste the normal flavor A breath taking beauty acting on her best behavior I always find it so hard to bite my tongue Feeling so gone when this night is still so young I never really can keep my comments to myself until I've entirely won I have the spirit of a PiXy I have the electrical shock of a fire I'll try anything for a laugh just trying to be risky Leaving this dull, pointless residence is to which I aspire Belonging to a cult, a small conspiracy theory These beligent talks of ours are beginning to make me grow weary Smile at me please don't leer Don't look at me and my friends as we end our interlude By saying we care enough to say I love you No I won't allow myself to slip so low as to become your prostitute Staring me down as if I should be commited to a mental institute Wanting to leave to end another furious dispute You won't stop calling me cute You won't stop chasing me with this ridiculous pursuit To any means you'll go down so low to stoop No matter what words your lips have to drench Throwing my hope and belief slithering down the drain No matter what lengths you have to go to wrench My mobily happy figure that's dancing in the rain Another dragon in the chaotic kingdom to be slain Taking your love away won't bring anything to be gained I'll love you just the same You know this without me ever having to explain Another individual has the power to make me feel desire and be entired No one but you though as well will ever be able to grasp my sugar and spice Everything that's nasty about me and not nice Wanting to touch every inch of your skin, every single slice I'd jump into your bed and not even have to think twice Turning my fire into crushed ice Gazing through your eyes Looking to make sure your love wears no disguise Superficiality is what I seriously despise Taming the most shamefulest of shrews Putting on the exact right glass slipper shoe Chasing away my doubts telling me I'm supposed to be with you But is this truly reality My mind asks to know with honest suspicion Knowing the inevitable is my perpetuality Wondering if only being your mistress is your condition To your ruling I won't be defeated into submission Into giving myself to you in any position Working your mysticism like a magician Saying the magic words abra cadabra Mesmerizing me with your eyes to the point my hands want to reach out and grab ya You have me melting at the speed of snowdrops I can't quit, I can't ask you to stop Once you have me in your arms and totally turned on Any point of return is totally gone I'm yours forever more Needing to taste your lips one final time to have my body restored Unfortunately its never the last Sucked into your restlness so fast The spell has been cast Your spirits been let loose to once again its primitive stage Never drifting or reaching the end or the final page It's an open book case that never becomes shut or closed My nudity to you is something that will continuously be exposed I'm unable to say no Because of the love inside of me for you that never stops and always regrows Seeing you as I walk down the side of the aisle Not being able to help myself as I stare, my eyes intrigued by your enigmatic style Standing with your hideous beast girlfriend you're too much in a trance to notice my presence as your eyes are locked on the store's invantile I pace around out of sight for a short while Hoping to come back around and your eyes to scan my odd little shape and smile and greet me with anticipation Walking slowly, wanting to slap my forehead or take some inanimate object to strike myself in the face with as your words pop back into my head, saying to myself I don't want you in abnegation Ready to scream from my misconception's frustration Feeling as if a marionette made of wood while having you speak for me, a dummy for a successful ventriliquist Looking at my long lost obsession trying my best to want them, when all I can think of is your best interest Each of my opinions you obstinately express Longing to have you on top of me, craving to feel your sweet caress Still watching my heart throb, as he stands there in all of his glory Yet, it's always the same old story Staring in amazement at a perfect model to play your counterfeit Sending tremors through my brain to transmit Then I remember how unlike you my thoughts he'd be unable to interpret For you is all I can possibly yearn Desire inside of me for more than just you burns But it amounts to nothing, because it's a false desire that only amounts to lust After I use each male whore sufficiently for sex, I cast them away and view them as lepers with degrading disgust Slipping down deeper in my own dishonesty, searching to find a small piece of you in another, seeking it in all the wrong individuals of fallen grace Wishing for it to be you in their place Feeling selfish as I take away their innocence and in their hearts emptiness I replace Sucking dry their succulent juices, stealing away each of their souls Nailing every bit of faith to the coldest sticking pole My love is like a funeral, kisses come to die I view the world throught the devil's eyes I'm not the one who stopped and stared I'm not the one who cruelly lied Your mouth is like an open sore, the kisses go to rot and die Being able to suck any individual into sex, trapping them to possess Tricking each individual to fuck me, as I can change my form from being a sexless demoness However not satisfied by my undecent prey Needing you the one who can match my stubborn will, and won't do each thing I tell you as you unruly disobey Wanting for each pair of lips I lock, to contain your taste But each sample is a waste Of a perfectly simple kiss Because you're still the one I tragically do miss Kissing my fiery lips Turning my enviroment into joy electric The way you make me feel I hate to admit That I seriously like it Because what it is I can't quite place my finger Why does this taste always have to linger? Is it really all that bad that you totally turn me on? Would it be so bad if we were both turned on When you wrap your arms around me I want to feel it Kiss my mouth don't want to lose it Control is out of the question Not being able to kill a latest obsession Why do you want me so bad? I'll never be the best anyone's ever had Watching my ugly shape nakedly unclad Wondering why you always stare When there's nothing there Quit touching all the right curves when they're bare Chorus I'm nothing more than a doll spun of gossamer Touch my sawdust stuffing I'm sure my skins as soft as cashmere If you look at the right angle you can see all the way through Don't do the things you do Because with me they're not right Because for you I'm not the girl who's right Chorus Might as well leave this Devil's Playground Because I'm the devil herself and none of you all need me around Let me go Don't say no For me you have no need I no longer want to bleed Now let go of my legs that need to run with lightning speed Away from this delectable dilemma You can watch my figure on the screen of a cinema When I am allowed to touch you and make love to your sexy body I don't want you to wear the blindfold I want your eyes to see every single thing of me I have to behold Beast or Beauty I want your eyes to gaze at me with refined scrutiny I wait weeks for your prescence to come Each night there's a vision of you standing out in the crowd Safety only secures me in my dreams, wondering if a coma is to which I should succumb Forbidden to touch the shape of your shadow, becoming close is never allowed Looking through your windowpane a thousand miles from me Seeing your face tightly pressed to the glass Just one quick glance of you that's all I ask Wondering if I was condemned to walk this earth forever alone No one's ever there to comfort me, or have my soul condoned There's never any answer when I try to call you on the telephone You're the one I want to turn on with my nymphonic moans You're the only one I think of no matter where my path leads You're the one who I always look for in my dreams Each time I search I never find you the nightmare continues and I wake up with blood curdling screams Paralyzed by the sadness of your melancholy eyes As they look sadly back at me The individuals who bring you down I despise Wishing I could set your wild spirit free Wishing my love was a figment of your imagination you could see The silence making my mind bleed Echoing back through my ears like raindrops Chorus Now as a prisoner of my own twisted desire I'm here for you to see Wondering if I'm the one you want is it me? Why can you never tell me-please! My cries of help ignored as I'm torn on my knees Too late to drown in all of my doubt Too much, entirely too late to sort all these issues out I'm an abused, dumb little girl who must do without Chorus Waiting for the trap to spring I feel sinister eyes upon me watching A twisted vision I see, my eyes are blinded By the frenzy of this cruel world's utopia, nothing meaning anything To me, as I stare at your face pressed rigidly to the windows glass A criminal put up for all to scornfully stare at as they pass I built this life and it seems to be the perfect place for me Because I stay here for all to gaze at and see I thought I had finally found my Prince Charming in you my Thief of Spadez I soon came to realize that Prince Charming didn't exist when you deserted me in the coldest winters bane The affection in your body for me slowly started to drain Now there's someone new and better in the arms I used to lay in You believe you can get any exquisite creature on two legs, you're so vain Don't tell me to be quiet, I have every reason to complain Nothing with you is ever ventured or gained You use your dick for your brain You never can be honest when trying to explain You think im just another one of your whores who has instincts inside of her to be brought out and trained I despise your actions toward me but I just can't seem to break free of your chains From looking into your eyes I can't bring myself to refrain The mischief in them draws me to you in some way Listening to your voice hanging on to every word you say Being a martyr dying for your love is the price I unbearably pay Thinking it quite sad that love to you was just a popularity contest Only caring about the way a female is dressed Or only caring about the size of her chest You soon forget me and all your priorities So afraid of losing your masculine dominant authority Classifying my gender as a minority Always wanting to end my mortality My world without you no longer holding steady My thoughts to you are no longer important Cutting through red tape with a machetti I love to steal and parade around in your baggy pants Running around jumping on you in the nude while my bodys sprinkled with confetti No longer expecting much, for the worse I'm ready You want to make me into your scandalous little sex slave You can't just come out and say it because you're not quite that brave You threw away every single piece of myself to you I ever gave I'm no savior and you're one of the mindless ones I just was unable to save The love that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide And every time you tell her I love you and lose yourself in her entity Does she know how you told me You'd love me until you died? Tossing me away for her and choosing her instead because of the simple fact of proximity So what if we live in different states You're still able to find me and have dates You used to say your love for me would always last and for me youd never trade I guess that was just another lie of your species and a sign of your fear to love and have only one mate Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to Make sure though its the right thing for you to do Tell me honestly simply and kindly Don't make it into a big production Stop leading me into your bed in an act of sedcction Just say it and get it over with even though you know without you i'll never be able to really function Never again love Never again feel Never again trust Knowing that you're happy though will be enough Knowing the truth would feel even better Instead of waiting around always an answer for what you feel, just write it in a letter Don't end this with an elaborate story Save me all the deatails that are plainly gory Just give me a simple yes or no That's all I need to know If you want to date other people then play so Of course I'm going to feel rejected at hearing you prefer insstead of having me being in someone else exclusive company You'll be sorry one day when I walk across a stage and am awarded a grammy So go on with her I know you'll be coming back crying to me mister Denying the fact that all shed let you do is kiss her Loving the way Im a nymphomaniac Sleepless nights you've turned me into an imsomniac The sad part is I still truly love you and the way your down right wicked The way you treat me is quite despicked I just can't understand What about the stupid, skanky sluts you pick is so grand They're only using you as a pawn, a manipulative object Hanging you as a piece of jewelry around their necks To it you're quite aware But it seems to me you just dont care What you're getting from them at an expenseive cost You could get much better from me for free Tell them to get lost Just tell them to leave
I'm not looking for one night stands
I don't appreciate being stranded
Just please love me
If you really love what I am
Then you won't need any other to make you feel good
I know letting you go is the thing I should
But I just dont want to
I know you were never able to really touch my body Because it was never in your reach
But if I were close enough to where you could feel my heart beat
Sluts sucking on all you have to offer like leeches
They won't stay forever
You should pick me to keep you warm and leaving you I would never
Last night I took six birth control pills
I downed them as if they were skittles
I play hostage as being monkey in the middle
Hey diddle diddle
Cats got her paw on my tongue and she stole my fiddle
Trying to solve this unvoluntary riddle
You're on a pedestal
And I belong under a bridge
Melancholy darkened to be a raver of heavy metal
You're of great power and prestige
Why do you not love me like your others
Your neglecting hatred making me want to be a corpse hanging from the gutters
Playing the game of cat and mouse
Wondering if there's a heaven above the clouds
Wondering if I could reach angels height
I bargained with an unearthly element last night
Wishing I had lost the fight
Wishing I had died
Chorus
Why do you insist for me to stay here
You don't want me you've made it perfectly clear
My intestines are raw and my necks swollen
Your promises are broken
Everything tastes like medicine
From swallowing amphetamines
Chorus
Let me die
Stick the scissors through my eyes
Let the poison down my throat glide
Give it to me as a treat
Scorch my skin in high degrees of heat
Princess take a seat
Rinse lather repeat
DIE DIE DIE
My final serenade of Lady Ophelia being a lullaby
What's your destination, fly it over to me
i'll take a look and see what there is to see
Possibly settle down
Anything to let me know I'm still there in your head
and your bodys not dead on the ground
With the spit of the saliva and cigarette ashes
From the lips of all the sluts who want you
I'm lying here with every negative thought possessing my brain
Panicking that's all I have left to do
Not knowing what's happened to you is driving me insane
Without feeling you I've began to wither away and become withdrawn
My love where have you gone?
I miss you with all my heart and soul
Can you feel me as I fantasize about being with you naked
Your absence on my mind has seriously taken its toll
Wanting to beat a chick who took my sexual fantasies that from the purest love were sacred
Thinking of you when going for a midnight stroll
Thinking of your unclad body under the covers basked by the unsheathed curtain spilling in moonlight
Not being able to forget you
Not ever not quite
Your face is cut out in the million stars twilight
Everytime I try to forget your existenceI look up and there you are staring down back at me in the moonbeams mist
I move a mile a minute
Searching for a world where I can have you in it
Now I think I've battled too hard to not have your love and win it
Why do I do this?
If I wasn't around all this shit would go on anyway
If you aren't here I won't go on anyway
This is what I know and I've learned
Why do I always stay?
When this soap opera world just drags me down?
I can't smile any longer without it I have to frown
In the darkness I will drown
I'll run away and leave town
Chorus
Don't tell me that you'd not make it without me around
You have your lover to keep you safe and sound
Thinking I had finally found
A love so true
I can't live without you
None of you ever paid attention
To the fact before this we have mentioned
Without his love happiness will never become in my dimension
Without him my soul will merely die and shrivel away
There's nothing you can do to help or prevent it
No matter what you do or say
There's nothing left here for me to pretend
I'm too melancholy to care Would you still love me if I shaved my head
Will you still love me even after I'm dead
Would you still love me if I were lying in the coldest winters flower bed
Would you still love me if I were hanging by my last piece of thread
When I die I ask one tear is all you shed
Remember the way I felt inside and each word I said
Slowly now I am dying
Through pastel skys for all of eternity our love will keep flying
Don't lose faith keep on trying
And even when there's nothing left of me keep on smiling
Even though years spent without the one you love are trialing
I know you're strong and you'll make it just fine
I'll love you forever while dancing with you rain or shine
Will you remember the way my lips feel
Will you think of each kiss that you lovingly steal
Will you remember that I'm real?
Will you keep every secret we concealed?
Will you remember each bubble of fizzy love we made
A day with you is something I'd never trade
Chorus
I need you to live
I'm not sure if on the inside anything still is there to give
Close your eyes and suck on my tongue
I know losing me will probably make your interior feel stung
To my wild spirit always cling
In your heart always have a sacred spot for me my darling
Chorus
Don't hang around my grave
Keep my ashes near the fireplace
Keep them as a memory to save
I'm sorry for the disturbing way I always behaved
You were the only one I ever craved
That's why the design of our fates were twisted into one
Don't die for me I'm not worth you being hung I hate the way you turn me on
Turn it the fuck off
Make the sexy naked wet images be gone
Why do you have to be so fucking hot
Why do you have to drift through my brain like a ghost that's always there to pesteringly haunt
Making me have to sexually flaunt
All the ugliness that I've got
Why is sex sp appealing?
It's just fifteen minutes of physical feeling
It's just a dick stabbing into a pussy's bare flesh
Fifteen minutes of an unorganized mess
A poisoning and violation of a woman's crest
Doing the act of sex without love makes you even more gutless
No I won't act as your puppy love pretty in hooker pink kinky sex godyss
I deep down at times hate you
I hate the way you make me feel unsensored lust and vibrations
I want to ram the knife all the way through
Love no longer being a consolation
Taking your sexual need out on me in frustration
Wanting to rip out my ovaries and go shove them in your mouth when Im in menstration
Wondering if martyrs had to go through worse than what I put up with when just trying to be loved while they were tortured in camps of concentration
Chorus
Dragging me with you all the way down
Don't turn around
Because I don't want you to see my control flimsily breaking
I don't want you to see how bad physically I'm shaking
I don't want you to see the huge stupid grin displayed
Widely across my hideous face
I don't want you to watch my breasts heave as oxygen inwardly they take
Chorus
Screw your standards
Drop the act I already know you want to kill me faster
Suffering from you and youre bad mood
Wondering if youre idea of simple perfection has me included
I bet not I bet all you can think of with me is how to make me feel sexy
Sexy rexy
In a generous enough mood to climax into another breath taking orgasm
Well if you think you're going to have sex with me then you're spazzin
I no longer have the charisma to reach that point of ecstasy
Even though I still want you badly You didnt want me to come along so why send me a postcard
You don't really care about me now stop making me feel like a retard
Promises promises
From your lips thats all I ever hear
Im just another name on your list
Little mister priss
Don't call me darling, love, or dear
Stripping me down so sheer
Go ahead and seal my casket
Dress me up like your heroine made out of plastic
I'm nothing more than a Barbie doll manufactured by Matel
A prized ballerina with fins to sell
Wrap me up in cellophane
Just as long as you have your little sexual fool no need to complain
Box me up even with the blood stains
You say you don't want it
But you don't really mean it
Staring at my figure of an ice sculpture
Delivering a nymphomaniac culture
Putting me through narcisstic torture
Dreaming of a world of fame and fortune
Becoming impregnated with your child my solution being abortion
Spitting fire at you in retortion
You're made out of slime
You can't give any heavenly creature sublime
Chorus
Raising the iron wall
To separate us
Waiting for it to fall
I'm not going to make a scene or fuss
You're not worth the sugar rush
Better wasted on my sunny disposition
I'm not going to let you bring me back down to that defenselees position
That's out of the question
Chorus
Fuck your regulations
Screw your manifications
You're on probation
No more going to the chicken pen mister fox
Here stands Mrs vixen eating the flesh of your precious Goldylox
You said you never wanted a dumb blond
You lied for way too long
Now I'll gobble up all your pretentions
And your body in my lickerish slobber will be drenched in
Nerve-wrackingly wrenched I'm ready to lash out like a beautiful beast
When my painstakingly sharp claws tear into your flesh you'll expect it the least
Believed me to be a sweet, silent, innocent little lamb who was chaste as ice and pure as snow
But exactly how destructive you are to her you just never seem to know
To you she's worthless with her demonic, diabolical, ways where she's a prize little deviant child
A tantrum fit throwing little girl who is way too wild
Your faults will always be concealed from your cocky, macho pride
My imperfections are the heavenly prescription to chide
Inside her lies a hunter she's known to go out at night prowling
An imprisoned tigress bound to a small, gilded cage
With eyes yellow green, two silhouettes of peridot pools that look under the epidermis to let you feel the full intent of her maddening rage
Locked away without the key you won't let her see the camouflaging forest on the outside of the tiny, cramping walls of her imprisoning jail cell
Condemn her to the fiery pits of hell
Bring her down upon her knees
That's one of the only ways that you can get your sick, demented pleasure and glee
Laugh in her face and play as if you'll let her free
But when the ambrosial scent of independence approaches you quickly take it back
My only comfort is the night gone black
A lonely, howling wolf is all she'll ever get to feel
As your chains and whips bombard her to drag her spirit down without them man has no appeal
Tame the temptress as best as you're able
Daphne holds the chase after Apollo
The mild hind, the dove pursues the griffen to follow
Any more my limbs feel as if they're made of wood and are truly hollow
You say that all of her cards are lying on the table
If she plays them right then lady luck and the hands of fate
Will come into take and give her exactly what she longs for
But she'd honestly rather just be able to walk out the door
To disappear and to never again have to feel the pain any more
To never have to appear and perceive a superficial act
But it's just the fact
That you'll never seem to possibly understand
That every single little thing you demand
Can and will never be really how I exist
No matter how hard you try or insist
I will never become what I was when I was a naive, frail little puppet on strings that you could dominate
I'm no longer a little girl there's nothing left for you to illuminate
I will never become so blind again to the point I'm a rag doll
I'm tired of the millions of lies and fake smiles
That time has long gone out of style
You try and sweet talk me with that silver tongue that is in your mouth that spits out the false truth
Your lies give me the proof
I'm completely finished and through
You'll never see me shine, or the full height my spirit can soar to
But I don't need your condescending hypocritical approval
I can get my satisfaction else where from someone who can be truthful
In the world of a rainbow of colors
Where what'z up is our latest holla
Acrylic nylon pants
Where there's a world of party in a rave dance
Techno music is mixed just to enhance
Excitement and fun into your move
Where everyone can strike a pose and get into the groove
On the dance floor of a spinning, hazy, climaxing vertigo
Where you can show your true self and feelings
Yeah we're the one who like to do the stealing of the kisses of your delicious, delectable, luscious lips
Move to the rhythym of the beat, sway your hips
Go with the flow
Don't worry about what anyone's going to say
We're just here to have fun and play
So please dont go for a little while, just stay here
Here with your arms around my waist
No please don't walk away and waste
All my precious time
That I could be spending with you in sublime
the Idez of March A Farewell to Wanting I had called my dad a few dayz before thiz to see if we could get together and have him help me write a letter so I could go volunteer at the Pioneer Playhouse so after I went to town with my mom and stuff. . .before we went to town mom discovered that I have four baby dalmation molly fish ;p. . .we went into town and let'z see we first off went to Big Lotz got some Power Puff girl sockz theyre majorly cute and sour skittlez, a little thing of mini shock tartz and some starburstz. Then we went down the highway to go towardz Waco to go to Concord Road so my mom could find thiz appliance mahn whoz been werking on our microwave and had to order a part several monthz ago but never came bak with it and like they called and he waz supposed to come last Friday came up the drive way stayed out there for a while and never came up to the door. So she went and talked to him while I stayed in the car drinking diet pepsi and eating my shocktartz and he said he'd come out to our house around ten or eleven oçlock the next morning. So then we went off and like either it waz on the way to there or the way bak can't remember we stopped at Red Head got some gas and mom got us some corn dogz. I ate that then we like went on to go to Walmart. . .Let'z see I forget where we headed off to first I think it waz ohhh yeah to go take momz earringz bak that Donnie got her for her bday that she thought were wayyyy too much and not worth the price he paid for them. So while we were bak there i went looking through the sterling silver stuff and found a majorly cute unicorn charm to put on my charm bracelet. Then we like headed off to the pet section to get some filterz for my aquarium. Then we headed over to find some furinture polish where we got some soup and ramen noodlez for Amber, mom got some kind of cookiez and then like I think that'z all we really got over there and we picked up some skittlez for Becky while heading over to that side. Then mom remembered that she forgot to get Donniez hygeine stuff, so we headed bak over that way and got some fixodent and polident and then like we found a bunch of junk while looking around and I ended up with purple, pink, and bright red wash out hair dyez ;p Then after that we went to Blockbuster and I got the movie White Oleander. Then we went over to Kroger and got our medicinez and some food thingz and then we went to the post office to send bak my tape recorder and book tapez and then got money orderz ohhh shyeah I forgot about the two thingz that happened in Kroger Im not saying one lol but the other there waz like thiz bag of open sweet tart eggz and they just like went everywhere when i went to pick it up and didnt know it waz open. Then like while mom went to go get our medicinez I went and bought a pack of newportz. sighz any way, finally to the point of that evening I went over to my dadz house and we worked on that letter I'll post what we came up with for a final draft here in a moment and then we had dinner spaghetti what I'd been wanting for a while and then like he made me feel majorly terrible later on because I went out where it waz majorly dark and totally started running into thingz and cut and bruised up my leg sighz. It waznt the majorly grrreatest time. I came home and thingz were just crappy with mom too, so I ended up getting majorly high on coricidin sighz. any way here'z the letter if you want to read it. . .
Dear Colonel and Mrs. Hensen,
My name is Heather Crutcher, I will be twenty years of age in April. I attended Murder at the Vicarage with my father, Thomas Crutcher, last August. You may remember me. I spoke for a long time with another one of your volunteers, a Mr. Clark I believe, about my eye sight. He was very helpful in getting me connected with the Kentucky Department for the Blind. I am currently residing in Richmond, Kentucky, and living with my mother and my two younger sisters. I am self-supporting and am receiving Social Security disability for my eyesight, which is roughly equal to eyesight of the other volunteer whom I spoke with.
I would like to offer to volunteer for the summer at the Pioneer Playhouse. I am young and strong and able to do almost anything except drive. I really like people and would work very hard to help your group.
I have as an individual performed and served in helping around back stage crew members in several plays during my junior high and high school careers. I have helped with costumes, props, sounds, music, cleaning up, etc. I am pretty familiar with the stage scenery and the professionalism and hard work it takes in earning the respect of other cast members and workers. I know it isn’t a simple job to keep everything in order when it comes to being any part of a play, and I am willing to take the hard work and time to help out and make the play a great success. Although, due to my disadvantage of having night blindness I’m not really sure how much assistance I could offer when it came to lighting or darkly lit areas, I could do almost anything else you might need. I would really love to get to work as a volunteer and help out for the whole summer
It would honestly mean a great deal to me to have the privilege of volunteering at the Pioneer Playhouse. Working at such a facility as yours has always been my aspiration. It would be a very rewarding experience for me to be able to donate my time and help out this summer at the Pioneer Playhouse. I am enclosing a picture of myself in this letter perhaps, you will remember me.
My telephone number is (859) 626-9970.
My e-mail address is Silverfame@AOL.com
My mailing address is:
Heather Crutcher
2431 Cedar Hill Dr
Richmond, Ky 40475
Thank you very much, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this letter
Sincerely,
Heather L. Crutcher
sick with it
sick with disease
deny addiction
down on my knees
feed my affliction
scared to believe
my own decisions
eager to please
destroyed visions
breed life
need life
breath life
keep life
lie and decieve
with no emotion
false promises
loss of devotion
scarred by deceit
my self destruction
love obsolete
live in dysfunction
breed life
need life
breath life
keep life
bleed life
heal life
feel life
the sweet life
is all i want...
can i bleed for the ritual?
bleed for it
got a need for the ritual....
can i breath for the ritual?
breath for it
got a need for the ritual?
sick with it. sick with it. sick with it, sick with it... (repeat)
it's inside me
i feel it growing
nowhere to hide
my anger's showing
repeat chorus
and on this dark night of my soul
i will continue to pray for us
and try to remember only the good things... the sweet life
-My Ruin dishonest
you came with your first kiss
blue eyes sold me your heavenly presence
something was suffocating me and i couldn't breathe
had no idea that you would ever deceive
i tried to believe all the things that you taught me
christlike images of truth
they straight got me
now watch me drown in sadness
my lungs gasp for air as i let you stab this heart
and rip apart wounds that exist
deeper and darker than any words i could spit
all is shit
and it will never be well
because the fires that burn are my never ending hell
is this what you call god?
your faith is lost
is this what you call god?
get off your cross
get off
bridges connect for necessity
lifelines scar my hands like the rest of me
asked me to trust you and yes i tried to
constant apologies caused me to lie too
tried to medicate my hate with your magic
how could something so sweet end up so tragic
resurrect me from this abyss
in death every body function fails to exist
false commitments
tongues twisted with religion
a heart shaped rock of the same size incision
obsolete
with no relief or release
just insomnia filled nights of never ending sleep
is this what you call god?
your faith is lost
is this what you call god?
get off your cross
split a piece of wood and i am there
lift a stone and you will find me
are you still scared?
sanctuary
sanctuary
sanctuary
there's no sanctuary
is this what you call god?
is this what you call
god
is this
is this
is this what you call love?
get off
get off
watch me
get off
get off
watch me
get off
get off
now watch me fall
i swallowed all of your lies
and they felt good going down
death be not proud
-My Ruin i feel the skies open wide
see your blue eyes
when worlds collide
you're by my side
it's hard to lie
sometimes i've cried
wished it was me
wished it was me who died
i can see you in the sunshine
i feel you where i stand
i can see you in the bright lights
i feel you hold my hand
let your light surround me
in loving memory
let your love surround me
shine down on me
shine on me
something so deep inside me binds me with you
told me a secret
swore that i'd keep it
someday my friend
we'll meet again
so until then i'll keep our secret safe
i can see you in the moonlight
i feel you when i sleep
i can see you on those dark nights
i feel your arms around me
let your light surround me
in loving memory
let your love surround me
shine down on me
shine on me
rockstar
we will always be bound
we will always be down
we will always be bound
we will always be down
i feel you when i scream your words
i am just a girl that hurts
feel me when i scream these words
i am just a girl that hurts
i feel you when i scream your words
i am just a girl that hurts
feel me when i scream these words
i am just a girl that hurts
i am just a girl that hurts
i am just a girl that hurts
i am just a girl that hurts
i am just a girl
that hurts
-My Ruin it was a long time ago
longer now than it seems
a place that perhaps you have seen in your dreams...
welcome to my world
is it what you thought it would be?
i'm trapped inside this hell
between blood queen and purgatory
a coop filled covered hall
a tattooed babydoll
i've got the devil in my corner
and jesus on my wall
[chorus]
today is an oatmeal day
i feel like a monster babe
preacher save me with your call
and i will be your little miss scareall
one eye's green and one eye's blue
demons, angels a love that's true
catch me as i start to fall
let me be your little miss scareall
halloween is over
but i will keep you scared
take you to the fright side
i know you'll come prepared
by your deadly nightshade
turn your christmas black
and you can be my johnny homicidal maniac
[repeat chorus]
forgive me preacher
for i have sinned
it's been 3 weeks since my first confession
i am the one... hiding under your bed
my teeth are sharp, my lips are red
i am the one.... hiding under your stairs
with snakes and spiders in her hair
i feel like a monster babe
little miss scareall
i feel like a monster babe
-My Ruin it seems you're always looking for a new religion
drown yourself in absolution to excuse your sins
nowadays it's easy to be swayed by images portrayed
there is nothing you won't do to get paid
so full of shit
you make me sick
post noise revelation
cult of my frustration
post noise revolution
is there no solution?
it seems you're sucked into a scene of what the latest rage is
force fed mtv
the new disease that is contagious
videos that cost a million bucks
with fakes degrading ladies
can i be a fan of you
baby
so full of shit
you make me sick
post noise revelation
cult of my frustration
post noise revolution
is there no solution?
post noise revelation
cult of my frustration
post noise revolution
is there no solution?
what seems to be the cancer?
i don't know the answer
someone needs to tell me
what they're trying to sell me
what's the fucking cancer?
i don't know the answer
someone needs to tell me
now
-My Ruin
my war
you're one of them
you say that you're my friend
but you're one of them
you don't want to see me live
you don't want me to give
cos you're one of them
my war
you're one of them
you say that you're my friend
but you're one of them
i might not know what a friend is
all i know is what you're not
cos you're one of them
my war
you're one of them
you say that you're my friend
but you're one of them
i have a prediction
it lives in my brain
it's with me every day
it drives me insane
i feel it in my heart that if i had a gun
i feel it in my heart
i'd wanna kill someone
i feel it in my heart
the end will come
come on
my war
you're one of them
you say that you're my friend
but you're one of them
tell me that i'm wrong
try to sing me your ego song
you're one of them
my war
you're one of them
you say that you're my friend
but you're one of them
my war
this is my war baby
go home
-My Ruin Dilated laterZ your mouth blooms like a cut
sweet and full of sin
i prick myself on your thorns
and i bleed within
your leaves fade to brown
and i watch you die
in my torture garden
under black sunshine
my beautiful flower
he loves me not
he loves me
he loves me not
he loves me...
our love starts to spoil
your lips bleed like a rose
underneath the soil
is where the evil grows
yoru petals start to fall
and the weeds attack
in my torture garden
the blue sky is black
my beautiful flower
he loves me not
he loves me
he loves me not
he loves me
your mouth blooms like a cut
sweet and full of sin
i prick myself on your thorns
and i bleed within
our love starts to spoil
your lips bleed like a rose
underneath the soil
is where the evil grows
i am earth...you can feel me touch you
hear me breath...cos it's my air that loves you
and i am fire... you will feel me burn you
come inside... and i'll be water with you
he loves me not
he loves me
he loves me not
he loves me
-My Ruin last night I had a dream
i was drowning again
you grabbed my hand and pulled me to safety
as i looked into your eyes i saw my saviour
the person that i knew had been there all along
just waiting for the chance
to kill me
we kissed
and my mouth started to bleed
then all my teeth fell out
i hate it when that happens
-My Ruin you're so pretty when you lie
love songs always make me cry
i don't think you have a choice
there's no truth left in your voice
remember when we used to laugh
just try to forget all that
wear my heart upon your lips
i hope it tastes just like shit
just call me miss ann thrope
just call me miss ann thrope
you're so pretty when you die
love songs always make me cry
i don't think you realise
there's no blue left in your eyes
remember when we used to sing
just try to forget those things
fill your hole inside with dirt
i hope that it fucking hurts
just call me miss ann thrope
just call me miss ann thrope
just call me miss ann thrope
just call me miss ann thrope
you have left a trail of deceit
assault and flattery
blasting through my wounds
imprisoned me in god and poetry
a ritual to mend my angry heart
a breeding ground for your untruth
if god created man in his own image
then fuck you
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
my hate for you defines my lust
bridges to bridges
you're nothing to me
welcome world
miss ann thrope
fuck
cunt
miss ann thrope
cunt
fuck
miss ann thrope
miss
ann
thrope
-My Ruin
you say i'm angry... i guess i should be
because it makes me happy
my mind is creepy... i guess it could be
depends on what you ask me
your are my bright red scream
girl wet dream
your are my bright red scream
and when i sleep i dream of you
you say i'm scary... i guess i could be
cause when i speak you fear me
my mouth is dirty... i guess it would be
pretend you just don't hear me
you are my bright red scream
girl wet dream
you are my bright red scream
nothing is what it will seem...
and i'm your scary teddy bear
love me hate me... i let you drive me crazy
crucify me or o you wanna save me
yes, no maybe... it doesn't matter baby
you're not so clean that i can't make you wanna scream
scream, scream, scream with me...
bright red scream
girl wet dream
you are my bright red scream
scream with me
scream for me
i'm not mean... i'm just not nice
and there's a difference
thank you are remaining at a safe distance
-My Ruin you believe everything you read
you believe everything you read
you believe everything you read
i can't believe what the fuck i read
scream
words that i believe
friends became my enemies
think
think before you speak
don't think you know me
my heart is an empty hole
hands wanna wrap around your throat
legs bruise everywhere you walk
mouth spits all the shit you talk
so keep talking
keep talking
keep talking
keep talking
fight
say what's on my mind
(no i)
lies
words you hide behind
be careful what you say
stay
stay the fuck away
my heart is an empty hole
hands wanna wrap around your throat
legs bruise everywhere you walk
mouth spits all the shit you talk
my heart is an empty hole
hands wanna wrap around your throat
legs bruise everywhere you walk
mouth spits all the shit you talk
keep talking
in a world of lies
i find myself advised to just pretend i'm nice
and not to say what's on my mind
but in a world of shit
i think you’re just a bitch
who couldn't fuck or suck my dick
cause i'm a chick
don't even think i give a damn
i say these things because i can
honesty is the holiest disease
honesty
honesty
honesty
honesty
-My Ruin i like the way you make me feel
syrupy and clean
you have a strange effect on me
loving every scream
baptise this thing that burns
everytime you bathe me
if i confess too many sins
will you still save me?
rain
rain
rain
let it rain
as beautiful as a scar
there's nothing quite like you
i cut myself on your lips
let you lick my wounds
so southern is my saviour
so sick inside my head
but if i let you rescue me
will i be left for dead?
rain
rain
rain
let it rain
let it rain down on me
let it rain down on us
let it rain down on me
let it rain
let it rain
the sky's illumination comes from the city below
and i can taste every inch of your kiss
every inch of your soul
from over here
do you feel faith or do you feel fear?
-My Ruin do you remember those words you whispered to me
on that fateful day in italy mr. b?
i can hear you singing
face on fire
blue skies, your eyes
my beautiful liar
i'm still breathing
you can't kiss me
kill me darling
i know you miss me
can't resist me
call me miss b.... i love it when you call me miss b
can you hear me talking?
can you see me
red lights my lips
she can never be me... she can never be me
now i'm screaming
what can i break?
my hearts broken... silverlake
san francisco, switzerland, lacunza
england, budapest,
mulhouse, june 10th
june 10th
do you remember june 10th?
i can't forget june 10th....
i remember when we first met
do you remember or do you forget?
you were so perfect, so pure like an angel
you were like an angel... amen
and i remember thinking... my god
my god he is just so beautiful
so fuckin' amazing
and every night i would watch you, i would watch you watching me
and we swore that nothing would come between us
that no one would come between us
do you remember?
ecstasy in paris... laying down in the middle of the street
in the middle of the night
in the center of you
i was humbled by your power, on the 9th plane... 666 acacia avenue, somewhere in hell
diggin' the hell out of you, diggin' the hell in you... my co conspirator
my executioner, my sacrificial lamb, my friend, my lover, my martyr
are you my enemy now? you once asked me" is existance all we share?"... you tell me
when you remember june 10th, do you remember june 10th
-My Ruin Horrible Pain (Within my Heart) I Invoke Him... And He Comes To Me In My Dreams
Dressed In Black, He Speaks In A Language Only I Can Understand
His Hands Are Warm, His Breath Is Hot
He Is The Horrible Pain Within My Heart
My Religion, My Sanctuary, My Church, My Sacrifice, My Confession
My Exorcism... My Worship In Progress
I Have No Other Lover... Now Until Forever
He Is Magic And When He Kisses Me I Can Taste Him On My Lips
Like An Elixir
Far From Innocent
He Is Pure Evil
A Sinners Prayer... A Saints Desire
For Him I Would Walk Through Fire
For Him... I Have Walked Through Fire
To Draw Him I Want So Bad... One Gift I'll Never Have
He Drives A Stake Into My Soul
Makes Me Bleed, Makes Me Whole
Drinks Me, Devours Me, Intoxicates Me...
With His Love, Hate, Devotion Faith
As Beautiful As Jesus Christ
He Is As Brutal As The Depths Of Hell
In My Dreams I Press My Mouth Against His
And I Feel Heaven... Horror... Terror
He Look At Me With That Look
I Call It His Serial Killer Look
Like He Wants To Fuck Me And Kill Me All At The Same Time
It Scares Me.. It Turns Me On
His Eyes Are Brown
His Stare Is Intense... Meaningful, Powerful
Maybe That's Why He's So Fuckin' Scary... Because He Means It
Sometimes He Tells Me He Loves Me As He Looks At Me With That Look
Sometimes He Doesn't Have To
I've Never Felt A Man Look At Me With That Look
It's Almost Creepy.... Uncomfortable.... Sexy
I Guess I Know He Could Never Really Chop Off My Hands
Or Could He?
-My Ruin i stick my finger down your throat
explore my thoughts of murder
a journey through the human heart
dark places filled with terror
obsession lets me have my way
devotion makes you stay
this mercy seat you imitate
won't let you get away
in praise of him i pray
in praise of him i save
in praise of him i give myself away
come kiss away my honesty
exploit me with your pain
learn to love this monster you created in your name
confession lets you face your fear
redemption leaves a stain
the thought of me makes you so sick
there's nothing left to hate
in praise of him i pray
in praise of him i save
in praise of him i give myself away again
in praise of him i've prayed
in praise of him i'm saved
in praise of him i gave myself away
a different sort of suffering
i practise what i preach
aromatherapeutic death
can you smell me speak
if violence is religion then everyone's a star
it doesn't matter what you're done
only who you are
who you are
who you are
underneath the hollywood cross
underneath this holy wood cross
my lover let me tie you down
hold your heart my hostage
i promise after i am through
your skin will still taste salted
my mouth is not your enemy
my lips are not your friend
if we were still together
i would torture you again
in praise of him i pray
in praise of him i save
in praise of him i give myself away
in praise of him i've prayed
in praise of him i'm saved
in praise of him i hate myself today
you never know what you will find
until you look inside
i never knew what i would find
and then i looked inside
let me torture you again
torture you my friend
let me torture you again
torture you my friend
let me torture you again
like you torture me my friend
let me torture you again
torture you my friend
it never ends
-My Ruin
late night catechism speaks me to sleep
a lethal dose of narcissism conquers the beast
i can't remember how i got my last scar
the bible tells us jesus was a rockstar
a prayer under pressure of violent anguish
a prayer under pressure of violent anguish
early morning exorcisms keep me awake
seven stars surround me as i burn like a saint
i can't remember why my knees are so sore
the bible tells us mary was a whore
a prayer under pressure of violent anguish
a prayer under pressure of violent anguish
there once was a girl and she suffered from sickness
mouth was distorted from razor sharp kisses
tried to pretend it was all in her mind
but i know her voice when i hear mine
god are you listening
i hear you in my room
as hot as the moon on the tenth day of June
there's no sleeping for me
i'm losing my faith
love is not safe in a world filled with hate
heart sick
i'm sick
still sick
my heart is sick
-My Ruin DESTROY ME
As WANT turns to NEED
You MURDER ME
Just to WATCH me BLEED
I live inside... my own MAKE BELIEVE
I SACRIFICE... what you can't see
I'm HISSING MAD
And I'm DRIPPING WET
I have no FATHER
I have no PET
And I'll be DAMNED
The day I die
Your ANTI MUSE
Your ANTI LIE
[chorus]
CAN I SPEAK?
I will DESTROY
IF I SPEAK
It will DESTROY
HOW I SPEAK...
I will DESTROY
WHEN I SPEAK...
It will DESTROY you
Another LOVER, another MAN
Another VICTIM of CIRCUMSTANCE
I close my eyes
With NO REGRET
I know your name BABY
But I FORGET
My MOUTH is CRUEL
And my LIPS are mean
I'm DIRTY MINDED
And I'm OBSENE
But I'll be SAVED
The day I die
I'll be your MUSE
I'll be your LIE
[Repeat chorus]
I see GOD and he's MY FRIEND
But THE DEVIL'S standing next to HIM
HE says MY NAME and I feel so WEAK
Just like a MONSTER who cannot SPEAK
I'm like a MONSTER.... When I SPEAK
Am I a MONSTER... when I SPEAK?
Your just a MONSTER... when we SPEAK
So I'm a MONSTER when I SPEAK... can I SPEAK?
I'll be your MONSTER when we SPEAK and I SPEAK to DESTROY...
SPEAK AND DESTROY.... SPEAK AND DESTROY
Yeah
-My Ruin the wages of sin hold my heart hostage
my mouth is still cruel
my skin is in bondage
my body is scarred from the lyrics i've carved
bruises i've healed
lips that i've starved
wounds i've replaced with love and with hate
the truth set me free
but my faith was raped
i've broken my silence
lied to myself
spoken in violence
been someone else
screamed at my demons
prayed to my god
begged for forgiveness
my hands are still hot
-My Ruin i found him on a night of fire and noise
wild bells rang in a wild sky
i knew from that moment on
i'd love him till the day that i died
and i kissed away a thousand tears
my lady of the various sorrows
some begged
some borrowed
some stolen
some kept safe for tomorrow
on an endless night
silver star spangled
the bells from the chapel went jingle jangle
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me like i love you?
he was given to me to put things right
and i stacked all my accomplishments beside him
still i seemed so obselete and small
i found god and all his devils inside him
in my bed he cast the blizzard out
a mock sun blazed upon his head
so completely filled with light he was
his shadow fanged and hairy and mad
our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled
and the bells from the chapel went jingle jangle
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me like i love you?
he had a heartful of love and devotion
he had a mindful of tyranny and terror
well i try
i do
i really try
but i just error baby
i do
i error
so come find me
my darling one
i'm down to the grounds
the very dregs
ah here he comes
blocking the sun
blood running down the inside of his legs
the moon in the sky is battered and mangled
and the bells from the chapel go jingle jangle
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me like i love you?
all things move toward their end
i knew before i met him that I would lose him
i swear i made every effort to be good to him
i made every effort not to abuse him
tattoos from his wrists to his ankles
and the bells from the chapel go jingle jangle
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me like i love you?
-My Ruin
[chorus]
this is a mantra
for myself
this is a mantra
for someone else
this is a mantra
so be warned... hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
sweetly
he smiles at me so bright it burns me
tongue twisted sick with words
she'll get what she deserves
she got what she deserved!
see me
i look at you so deep that she feels me
girl tricks make you believe
but she steals me
i will be her disease
diavolina screams...
[repeat chorus]
keep me
so safe inside your sins are secret
i watch you live your life in regret
you'll get what you deserve!
sleepy
you closeyour eyes but you can't dream me
dirty girl so mean can't clean me
i will be your disease
diavolina screams...
[repeat chorus]
and i swear
sacred as this heart of mine
strong as the ties which bind us
heavy as this cross
which i forever bare
eternity will be the hell we share
and what you want i don't care cos it doesn't concern me
this is about what i need
so bleed as the needle goes in, i'm creeping under your skin
soak you in sickness and scent you in sin
so say you love her and i'll believe you
but if you can't then you only deceive you
i said i love you and i don't lie... remember that
next time you kiss me goodbye
-My Ruin elegantly wasted and i can taste it
here i sit, trying not to fake this gift
of the beauty myth
i can't help but feel like this
bored... of the beauty whore
cos my body just wants more
scars... and i can feel them
wounds... i can't heal them
red bring my mouth to life
black revive my hair that's dyed
make up always helps me hide
what i don't like on the outside
[chorus]
starlight, starbright
first star i see tonight
i wish i may, i wish i might
have the wish i wish tonight
a birthday girl
a broken heart
you name the drama she played the part
long lost demons leave her godless
like her powder
leaves her flawless
sugar coated heart shaped pout
lipstick just destorts her mouth
mascara puts her eyes to sleep
cos beauty's only skin deep
[repeat chorus]
bitch du jour
served on a platter
she's so pretty
but does it matter
mirror mirror on the wall
watch her break and watch her fall
stitch her smile
bruise her knees
walk among her enemies
blessed am i among women
to live and love in such a beautiful temple
blessed am i among women
-My Ruin this place is hell to me and i can never get no sleep
there's a devil in my bed with me who's talk is cheap
you feel like heaven to me all i want to do is sleep
you're like an angel lyin' next to me you look so sweet
close your eyes
and lets pretend
remember why
we're just friends
my tangled hair will weave a web of lies within my sheets
and in the morning i'll be nailed where he crucified me
your blackened hair will leave a stain inside my mind so deep
and when tomorrow comes i'll wish that you would worship me
close your eyes
and let's pretend
remember why
we're just friends
there must be a storm in london tonight
because it's cold and raining hard
my body aches, my lover waits, i pick the scabs from my arms
there must be a storm in la tonight
because it's cold and raining hard
i miss your kiss. i miss your face, i miss the stars of your arms
the man that i lust
in he do i trust
for he is my god
my anti jesus
he is my savior
my salvation
he leads me into temptation
in my highest hour
my lowest moment
he is my torture
he is my torment
and i will pray for him
to remain my friend
and save me from my enemies... forever amen
this place is hell to me and i can never get no sleep
there's a devil in my bed with me who's talk is...cheap
-My Ruin drunk with sin
she sits in her skin
filled with anger
fuelled by liquer
drowns in dreams
with no savior
from the truth
none can save her
he is her own personal jesus
and he will not be her last
god wants a piece of her ass
god wants a piece of my ass...
i am... a blasphemous girl
i am... a blasphemous girl
i am... a blasphemous girl
i am... a blasphemous
girl
magnum mouthed i shoot to kill
you murder me with legs and guilt
strangle me... with tragic hands
god wants a piece of her ass
god wants a piece of my ass...
i am... a blasphemous girl
i am... a blasphemous girl
i am...
stab me...like a stalker
rape me... like a hero
stab me... like a stalker
rape me...and be my hero
bless me darling and i will forgive you
eloquent and full of grace
you speak in tongues behind my back
a dry lung vocal martyr
i will suffer for my lover
i will suffer for his sins
i will suffer for my lover
i am suffering for him
torture me with timelessness
worship my first with every kiss
resurrection of my pain
drag me down our memory lane
introduce me to devotion
leave me numb with no emotion
stars surround you when i feel you
you look better when i cannot see... you
honesty... looks good to you
but liar should be your tattoo
-My Ruin yes it's true
i've got demons inside me
and sometimes they need to speak
my dark places make me feel ugly
my lips are glossed but my heart is weak
i'm diseased
as seen on tv
please forgive me
for not being pretty or sexy
but god never blessed me
here's what you'll find next time you undress me
scars
wounds
i'm bruised
watch me bleed
i'm your beauty
watch me bleed
beauty fiend
once again
without perfect teeth
i begin the dream as i sleep
soon i've sinned
my skin is still thick
my mouth as always is brutally honest
at my calmest
i'm tired of explaining how it feels
to be exploited and rated number one, two or seventeen
fuck what they print in those damn magazines
scars
wounds
i'm used
watch me bleed
i'm no beauty
watch me bleed
beauty queen
watch me bleed
i'm your beauty
watch me bleed
beauty fiend
stuck inside this mask of mine
there's no place for me to hide
won't you please come suck me dry
don't touch me
don't fucking touch me
don't touch me
why can't you see beyond my skin
size
my shape
my ass
my tits
i am not your pretty face
i'm just a girl
the girl you love to hate
watch me bleed
i'm no beauty
watch me bleed
beauty queen
watch me bleed
i'm the beauty
watch me bleed
beauty fiend
why can't you see beyond my skin
size
my shape
my ass
my tits
i am not your pretty face
i'm just a girl
the girl you love to hate
stuck inside this mask of mine
there's no place for me to hide
won't you please come suck me dry
don't
don't you fucking touch me
pig
-My Ruin i wanna live in the pretty sun
but daylight just makes me numb
so i cover up my scars
with velvet drapes that kill rock stars
change my mood
lick my wounds
trust will lead us to the truth
drown myself in misery
sleep with my enemy
destroy my destiny
erase the memory... of you
open myself to reveal my wounds
and i find the memory of you
i wanna die on the darkest night
when there's no one left to fight
fill my bed with leopard fur
think of you inside of her
suffer for my latest sin
until i'm happy in my skin
open myself to reveal my wounds
and i find the memory of you
i ache for you... i ache for us
i pray for you... i pray for us
i wait for you... i wait
deny thy lover and refuse thy name
first, last and always
deny thy lover and refuse thy name
first last and always
when will you tell me the truth?
when will you tell you the truth?
when will you tell me the truth?
when will you tell you...
my revenge on you will not kill you
it will make you want to kill yourself
-My Ruin Cursed Girl whoz Addicted to Nicotine Patchez laterZ |
