Sunday, March 2, 2003


Post meant for only one person. So if you are reading this and don't understand, therefore you make stupid conclusions that have nothing to do with this, shut the fuck up.

For the ones who know me.

They know that LOVE is sacred to me.

Whore:

A prostitute. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

What are you really thinking when you go to have sex with someone you really don't feel a thing? Of course, everybody out there is simply shouting 'Of course I don't think anything! I just do it because I feel it!'. But what do you feel? Lust. For someone you don't even care about.

Then it's the idea of "friendship in sex". "Friends" who have sex with each other.

Friend:

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

I don't have sex with my friends. Friends are there to support you, laugh with you, share interests, ideas, attitudes.

But not sexual acts. And less when it's for mere lust.

It's different when two friends /fall in love/ and they have sex. Since that very moment, they aren't friends any longer. Or they are lovers who remain with some of the same dialogue friends have, included in their level of amorous relationship.

Friendship:

The quality or condition of being friends

See? The fact that you share ideas and that he/she remains with you when you cry to give you support, isn't friendship. It's human caring. But not friendship.

To think I could necessarily and sufficiently define a concept so profound as friendship would be my ultimate act of arrogance. What follows is therefore simply my personal observations and feelings on what the term 'friendship' means to me.

Friendship involves a higher concept than "someone I know and I see sporadically".

They share a kind of affinity, but they also need to share the same core values. Honest exposure of the inner self to another is not easy. Becoming friends from first meeting to bosom pals requires a progressive growth of mutual trust. The kind of love friends have for each other is the desire to know, serve and share. It is the antithesis of lust - the desire to acquire, possess and control. It is what makes one want to connect with another human consciousness - intellectually, emotionally.

It's a link, a bond.

But it's far from having sex with someone, as if you go to drink a coke or smoke a cig.

It's far from the mere concept of love. It's far from 'sharing a feeling'. Lust alone, without love is a result of animal instinct. Senseless.

Friends, sooner or later, commit mistakes like all. Hence, nobody is perfect. But when the links you thought that joint you with them, are stepped on, simply... don't care about them anymore, it's all gone.

Betray:

To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one's better nature. To lead astray; deceive.

...

"Deceive".

Tonight, someone did it.

And that adds to me the lack of interest in relation myself with humans.

Hurts. A lot.

Someone I called of my own blood. Someone I thought was a kindred spirit working to be a better person each day. Not a toy. Or toy with others. Someone who thought human respect was sacred. Someone who was all fake, after all.

Who can you trust?

01:35 a.m.
BGM ::

Saturday, March 1, 2003


Now, why the hell are some of my images on my blog aren't showing up? Bandwith? I don't think so. FC's blog works just fine. And I deleted a LOT of files at the FTP.

*scratches head*

06:15 p.m.
BGM ::

Saturday, March 1, 2003


Len, la winamp skin que aparece en ese viejo layout que te gusta de mi blog, acá. *espera la bendición de Goddess prometida por Len* >XDDDD!!!!

Twin layouts! Very cool, girls ^^

For the HP fans: here are some pictures of the filming road of Prisoner of Azkaban:

The Night Bus
The Night Bus (inside)
The Definite version of Sirius Black : Gary Oldman. ([Censored]!!!!!!)

*shakes fist to Alfonso Cuaron* You better make a good product of this, you lil' Warner Bros scum!!

04:01 a.m.
BGM :: Arcadia / Escaflowne OST 3

Tuesday, February 25, 2003


HOLY MOTHER OF DOOM!!!!! O____O!!!!

I came to check my referrers today and guess what I found?!?!?!?

http://www.james-phelps.com/content/page_ID_link.html

The webmaster for the Phelp Twins Official site linked me (exactly, what he linked was one of the archives of my blog, specially that one from the JOP layout) as a site X_______X *fans self* But dear... this is not a "site"! This is a blog T____T *bangs head against table*

I am DEEPLY honored to know that I'm there, but... "Great JOP fan site, good content..."---> ¿?¿?

*laughs* I honestly don't know if I should cry or laugh ^^;;;;;;;;;;;

05:10 p.m.
BGM ::

Monday, February 24, 2003


The ones who know me, know that every chance I have in a pitiful creative spark, I take advantage of it. And many times, I even make layouts for my friends.

This, represents a lot to me. Because I put ALL of me into their layouts. Much more than for myself, because I want their sites to be pretty and have a beautiful 'face' for the rest of the world. To make them feel better.

But when people aren't considerate at all and treat you like shit, I want their heads off.

I made a fucking kick ass layout for a site where I'm participating now. I made it, it passed a week without a fucking reply and then, only because he was talking with one of the owners of that site (and because I am aware that he can't stand me when I complain. Sue me, Melange) they replied a stupid "Oh thanks, but I don't know how to make a layer with non scroll background". What did Leticia the Idiot do? Made the complete HTMLization of the layout to show them how to do it (with some of Melange's help at the end because it didn't fit with the rest of the layout in higher resolutions). I sent the page stored in Melan's domain because he helped me. Days passed, and no reply. And no, they aren't those people who are only online just a couple of days a week. These are the typical teenagers junkies who are sticked to the PC all day.

Today, I talked with another of those. And she said "Ah, and it may take a few days to get the layout up"

The fuck with all of you.

I made all the freaking work saving time to them and that was it. When airheads like these don't appreciate people's desinterested help, they don't deserve anything at all. Bad manners can also be held in the stupidest of ways.

And call me bitch all you like, but I don't do this every day. And I deserve respect.

05:53 p.m.
BGM ::

Monday, February 24, 2003


My role as GameMaster here reached one of my tops up to date. We are playing a plot involving a set of tests that everybody has to go through, one of the last tests, involving personal issues. I asked for all the characters to mail me with their most beloved item and their deepest fear. The players did, some were pretty interesting, other dull. But anyways, the idea is to work with what you got, always. Right?

Last night I started making 4 different scenarios for the total of 18 to 20 "nightmares" I have to create for each character. It was, to say the least, a blast of fun. Call me twisted if you want, but all the players developed pretty well and they were content with the whicked of the situations they were involved. From one of the girl's dead little sister blaming her for her death, to aracnophobia, paternal's figure and fear of being exposed in a multitude, nude and vulnerable. That in a nutshell, addying all the ingredients to create interesting situations. And me, writing like mad ^^;;; I truly recommend you, if you are a GM of an RPG, to develope a kind of 'test' to run to all your characters because it's utterly interesting to read. I still have 14 to write, and we could say that this is practically the question "What would you do in front of your worst fear?"

Honestly, I don't know what I'd do.

12:45 p.m.
BGM :: Thinking of you / Bonnie Pink

Sunday, February 23, 2003


Guess who I talked with today? *winks* Yeah, she's back.

Okay. Real random things:

--> OMFG

--> Errr.... the glove's cool.

--> I'd go on kissing toes for this one

--> Two words: Dental plan.

--> "Aaahhh! Don't point at me!" *shots*

--> *is cracked up*

--> *more even*

--> The whole crew! XP

--> My favorite shot till current date <3<3<3<3<3

--> Smoking room XD

--> AHSHIT!!! *goes into coma*

--> Yes, I know they are extremely cool, dude

--> Let go! Let go! Because she has the 'eternal' word in her name doesn't make her one of your kind x_x

--> Seras Victoria: DIE XPPP

And also...

THE 454 CASULL!! and THE JACKAL 13mm!!! >XDDDDD *if were a boy, she'd be a dangerous fanboy*

.... *and she goes to sleep and dream with winged Alucards flying around* :P

04:52 a.m.
BGM :: nothing really

Saturday, February 22, 2003


Ugh.

I don't like Nekoi's style. Her characters look like sluts and cracked druggies. And that picture doesn't help at all. They don't have the refined style, characteristic of Apappa. CLAMP, what a desillusion.

Where did the old times CLAMP group went? Comercial dirty pigs.


EDIT: Shi-honey, the skin came from here ^^

04:52 p.m.
BGM ::

Saturday, February 22, 2003




LOL yes, I'm listening to Joaquin Sabina XDD but I only wanted to share the schweeeet picture of Alucard there. I ***need*** a kick assey resolution scan from that picture. And if you want to listen to those three songs, do it here ^^;;; For limited time only.

#O.O#... anou... eetttoooo... thank you ^^;;;;;;;;;;;

03:14 a.m.
BGM :: Nos sobran los motivos / Joaquín Sabina

Friday, February 21, 2003


My so called Friday five

1. What is your most prized material possession?

My laptop Kanoe.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?

My first Teddy bear, Catita.

3. Are you a packrat?

My house's a mess 24/7. Enough said.

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?

I only clean when the dust reaches 10 centimeters on my floor. *grins* Not, really, kiddo. I'm just plain lazy.

5. Do the rooms in your house have a theme? Or is it a mixture of knick-knacks here and there?

Classical. The walls are papered with a very light gray background with some faint pink roses randomly spread around. The furniture is all caoba/dark red ancient and there it's all carpeted except for the bathroom and the kitchen. The kitchen is designed in white and red. All the furniture is white with some touches in bloody red. ^^

09:53 p.m.
BGM ::

Thursday, February 20, 2003


*starts breathing again*

Pfewwwwww... thanks Kami-sama.. And Happy Aniversary, Tanou ^_^

01:22 a.m.
BGM ::

Wednesday, February 19, 2003


Mom is right. Chopin is something else.

When she was younger, instead of spending her money in party and etc, she saved money to buy partitures ^^ at any price. She has very old scripts, and some new as well. And most of course, were Chopin's.

Between CDs and Compacts in my house, counting her oversized collection and mine, we have nearly the cost of a house like mine and a small, but still brand new car, together. The first thing you see at my house when you enter is CDs, Cds and more CDs all over the living room. Mostly over the CD player (the big one) because when she or I work at home, or at random moments even, we listen to music. Could be said, all day long. And the eternal fights to where the hell my new CD is generally finish with her confessing that she brought it to her work place -_-;;;

Today I have to go to okaasan's house to paint the wood door of more than 120 years. Yep. It's a tall door that has been removed of all the nasty painting until the wood came to sight. She repaired it and now I have to paint it with the natural brown ink to give the darker, natural color on it and then polish it. Since I'm only working 2 hours a day now *sigh* I can do it.

I miss my full time work. *frowns* I need to work, it's a requirement for my soul.

03:00 p.m.
BGM :: Prelude 4.46 / Frederic Chopin

Wednesday, February 19, 2003


Listen.

And drift away...

*closes eyes and smiles*

04:03 a.m.
BGM :: Minute 2 Opus 9 in Mi Bemol / Frederic Chopin

Tuesday, February 18, 2003


*moan*.

.....

......... *and dies*

BTW, I'm listening to the recently arrived Hellsing OST and I have to say... that I'm in love.

12:11 a.m.
BGM :: Sky of God Master / Hellsing OST2 Ruins

Monday, February 17, 2003

You are the Prophetic Dreamer
Hinoto
Tied to the lacking of your physical availability, you only wish for a better end, relying in your Dreams. Not so centered personality that can create a powerful alter-ego making yourself not completely trustful in your predictions.

What kind of Dreamgazer is more appealing to you?
Quiz made by Let-kun, based on Melange's Treatise on Dreams

SQUEEEEE!!!!! XDDDD My first Quiz! Yup yup! I made that quiz based on Melan-kun's essay for the Dreamgazers and I know it's simple but I like it! I mean, I haven't seen a quiz like that about the X Yumemitachi. And since I'm playing a Dreamgazer here, well, I thought it would fit. <3<3<3<3 GO AND TAKE IT!

Thanks! ^^; Though with the previous one and the current layout I'm getting bloddy. As lame as the literal joke happened to finish x_x

KICKS ASS. That's the only word I got for your new layout. Yes, those colors are hardly used ^_~

12:21 a.m.
BGM ::

Sunday, February 16, 2003


Meep, the strangest of it all. I've got two different results from the same kind of test...

	you are Alucard... man, wolf, bat, mist-- Alucard is one versatile dude. he has a myriad of shiny guns, and he wears his sunglasses at night. he is hellsing's secret weapon; he enjoys exterminating pathetic vampire wannabes.
Which Hellsing Character Are You?

And then...


Which Hellsing character are you?

Hmmm ^^;;; *doesn't know which side to take*

11:37 a.m.
BGM ::

Saturday, February 15, 2003


I added a new download's section besides my wallpapers at the left column. Some random MP3s I have on my play list, with no specifical order because music is free and just comes and goes :P

So it's cloudy outside and I'm not in the mood to do anything else than stay here. I played cards with mom, read something and nothing else.

I'm eating plums now and listening to Joaquin Sabina.

And so finishes this day. Without (for the first time) going to read some of the old letters Fran and I shared. Too much.

08:25 p.m.
BGM :: Contigo / Joaquin Sabina

Saturday, February 15, 2003

Francis M.
~ In loving Memory. Lover, friend, fiancé and lost half of my heart ~

As every year, I'm listening to that song. Surprisingly, I'm getting used to live without you. It's hard, yes. But I'm trying my best to fulfill my promise to you. I only hope you are fine, whenever you are.

always...

12:32 p.m.
BGM :: Sparks / Coldplay