Sunday, December 29, 2002


So... enough with this shitty mode I've sank into. I plan to work on Superb Karma because I should have updated that since ages T_T but well.
Second: I'm getting Lain video 1 & 2! XD Mind twisting candy that we all love. It should probably be here on thursday. And if I get a hold on Loco I may start taping Boogiepop Phantom. I am intrigued, I have to admit it.

Thank you for leaving me kind words on the taggie. Though I prefer to push the topic aside from now on. I don't know. I know it's practically pushing it at the back of my mind but I need to do it or I'll finish completely insane. *sigh* Thanks dearies.

Que clima de mierda. Está nublado y no ayuda para nada, realmente. Encima mi vieja en sus ataques de quién sabe qué, se fue a la casa de mi abuela y me dejo sola aca. Supongo que voy a estar boyando toda la tarde como pelota sin manija -_-

Bloggage:

Don't you just hate it? When they think they have the right to add you to the labeled people making you think there's something wrong with you, or better yet, trying to convince you that caring for your friends is politically incorrect? As it happens so many times I met a girl who said that 'her real self has to be hidden behind so she could remain strong at other people's problems and not involve herself into them'. I ask, is that being strong?

Chii and Kamui making bubbles. Now that's scary *chuckle* Did I tell you how kick ass Fuuma looks in that layout of yours? No? Well, there, I said it :P I made one of Fuuma once for me but I don't know why I didn't set it up T_T If you want it, I can send it to you as late online Xmas gift ^.~ It's a kinda "ecologic" layout, in the Chi no Ryuu sense, of course. Demo, Fuuma-kun is poster boy. In a very good resolution scan >D

Wow, Kouri. All that CLAMP fandom poisoning is a true waste of time. It's true, it's been long time since I haven't come back to CLAMPesque maybe because as the 60% of the X fandom, I got tired of reading 3 million ways of AU in X, switching couples, repeating the Rainbow Bridge to the extreme. I don't know. With the Subaru!Sakurazukamori topic installed it gives more to wrote, imaginate, yes. But still, it tends to over load what you liked once. Look, the HP fandom is even worse because it's more comercially accesible, but still many has been said in respect of X. Interesting would be to read a fic about Yuzuriha molesting pretty Kamui with sexual harrasments all the time and convincing Fuuma to make a 3some. :P *thinks* Wait, that is exactly what Yuzuriha is implying in the original story *dies laughing*

[2 cents mental image: Satsuki & Yuzuriha yuri loving. Oh my. I'd read that one.]

*IS DEAD* Bad, bad Leticia for not checking Kurot's layouts too often. Hermione kissing Ron on the cheek is too much for the eye candy. <3<3<3 They are precious. Though... *scratches head* There are a pair of weird lines at the background that look pixelated which makes me think they are distortioned. Maybe server's problems?

Cool you liked TLOR 2T. But you know what? I haven't watched movie 1 yet. I've read the books 4 years ago and I'm scared of what the movie will bring.

And that is all. I need to clean my house or the fleas are lifting me and throwing me by the window. Uuuughh. -_-

Brilliance came to my heart at 01:12 p.m. and The Song was singing

Sunday, December 29, 2002


Now I realise how much I'd like to be in a no-world, where my body wouldn't exist so I could be here, there and nowhere. Just an entity. Nothing else, nothing more. There, but not there still.

Humans lie, hurt and abuse. They should dissapear with the Earth to give space to an evolution and I'm into that. And for that. Until that evolution takes place, I'm not sticking with humans.

Get a boyfriend, fuck with every idiot that comes along your way, go out, get a group of friends, get fancy shit on you, get tatoos, piercing, drugs, and all that for the sake of pain, get drunk until you don't know what's your name, use everything and abuse without control, enter into the vicious cicle of the social idiot who needs a "label" to fit into the world. Call it pinky teenage, goth, worker, mother, son, father, family, friend. Call it society structure. Call it sick system to put you in a role. Whichever it is, marks you.

I'm a functional part of the social chain. I give a service as a worker and that's all. And that doesn't make me more or less person that the one who has it all in life: friends, love, money, health.

Tonight, I've learnt that I don't belong to here.

I belong to a place where the chances in your life are blurry and connected to each other so you don't feel the pain when you've lost one. Where you are not prejuiced by anything. Not even being a solitude that doesn't do any harm to anyone. A place where you bright just like everybody and nobody dares to bright more than you by simple understandment. Competition is a stupid rule. Cooperation is the key to balance it all.

I don't plan to be a better person.

I'm an isolated one, yes, but safe from the contamination of the model life of people.

I survive. I breathe. I look. I hear. That's all I need to continue until the day the world breaks it shell.

Brilliance came to my heart at 06:57 a.m. and The Song was singing

Saturday, December 28, 2002


My new year gets worse. And it haven't started yet.

Last night I was up to here about something and I talked about it with my friend. She supposely took it right but I had enough for the day and it was 5 am, so I went to sleep. This morning I wake up, go to the PC and start replying mail when I see her come online. Since it's always me the one starting the conversation, I thought that for once she'd like to start it. But nothing happened. Not even a good morning or something and some minutes later she logged off. Everybody does that to me, so I'm not surprised. Why did I think that I found a friend who was caring and had pretty much of my likes?

That made me cry. Like I'm doing right now. I am very sensitive, I know. But I'm just tired to be ignored like that. I don't know what I've done to get that from everybody.

Second, my mother wakes me up telling me that she went to make some clinical general analyses and that one of them went wrong, so she has to take them again. She took them again and they are still wrong. And it's the same as my grandfather's analyses when they told him that he had 3 months of life, at max. He died in a month.

I've been always prepared with the idea that my family will soon go and vanish because they are all grown up people. But still it's something that bugs me. I asked mom if she had any idea of what does it mean that it went wrong and she said she has no idea and doesn't want to think about it. She's deeply depressed now and it doesn't help me at all. And that is not a selfish phrase, but something that is true.

I am completely alone. And I am getting used to it.

Brilliance came to my heart at 04:34 p.m. and The Song was singing

Saturday, December 28, 2002

<3<3<3...

Brilliance came to my heart at 05:41 a.m. and The Song was singing

Friday, December 27, 2002


I think I'm missing Melan-kun more than needed because I'm making wallpapers like mad. What's the connection? He rocks making his wallpapers and graphics. I'm just so proud to have the chance to look at his art <3<3. So I made this Deedlit wallpaper with the scan of a CD. And yep, I've found the Tregwar font of TLOR XD Enjoy ^^

Brilliance came to my heart at 04:59 p.m. and The Song was singing Nature Boy / version by Celine Dion

Friday, December 27, 2002


I think I got something at the post office because when I came back home I received a postal notice. So it may be yours. I'll have to go early because at the time I leave from work the post office is closed. So it's... the departure! *grabs car keys, bag, money and house keys and poof! Dissapears*

Brilliance came to my heart at 02:42 p.m. and The Song was singing

Friday, December 27, 2002


What a wonderful day. *sigh* I'm sleepy and tired. Mostly from the energy the people around you take away.

Last night, the maiden who cleans in my apartment phoned telling us that her daughter escaped from her house to her boyfriend's. So that she didn't know at what time she'd come to work. Nadia, the girl, is daughter of this woman and a truckdriver who's married with 2 more women, each of them having 3 or 4 kids each. All live in very poor neighbourhoods and well, imagine the enviroment. The father took the girl since she was 5 to his trips on the truck. Months and more months going around. What for? BEcause he wanted a boy, not a girl. WEll, all that shit of her life, yadda yadda. This morning at 6 am, they called mom and I to go to the police to make a declaration because Laura (the maiden) has no direct family from her side so the first names she thought of were us. Greeeeaaaatttt, I went to sleep an hour and something before they called. I was a walking zombie. But I went. The girl, that I've known her since she was 3, so practically all my life, is now 16. Her boyfriend is a druggie, thief, and his family the same. The girl is a whore and she said that she has a delay on her cicle for 2 days. So she may be pregnant.So, I was there, in the middle of the police station getting a fat idiot for policeman asking me dumb questions such as "what was the last time you've seen Nadia?" and dealing with the girl walking around with a cig in her mouth, looking at her mother and telling her, "Now they are getting me inside. Are you happy now?" and throwing the smoke to her face. And her brothers who are 20 to up screaming on her because of her idiocy, her father crying on a corner and saying that he's tired and that he quits (the fuck, the girl is what she is because of him) and the mother crying because of the shit her life is. I left the Police station at 10 Am.

So..... that's the way I start my day.

Legally she has to live with a familiar if she doesn't want to live with her parents. So her 3 brothers are going to take care of her but from what I've seen at the Police Station they were furious. So things aren't going to be pinky for this girl. *shrug* You get a coin for free in life and waste it wrong, then you don't really deserve anything else if you don't realise about it.

Brilliance came to my heart at 01:46 p.m. and The Song was singing No me olvides / Diego Torres

Thursday, December 26, 2002


Kurisumasu report:

And for the joy of the masses I got only one present: the Greatest Hits by Björk. Absolutely nothing else. And I'm going to change it for another one because I don't want it. I already have all those songs in the previous CDs so I don't need a compilation of them. *shrug*

Dinner went fine until my mother went into her idiotic 'supposely pranks' mood and made me cry. So yeah, I ruined the dinner and went to my bathroom to cry for a while. I thought about all that happened to me in this year and seriously, I'm not surprised if I finish my year and I say, "Wow, this year was terrible"

I broke myself on making my presents and when they opened they looked at the vitraux angels and made a 'oh, nice' face and left them aside. Memo note: No Christmas present for anybody next year. Only my cousin Alejandro who's exactly 10 years older than me (and our b-days are the same day) called me from Entre Rios. Ah yeah, Lidia did too. Though at 2 am. *laughs* Typical. I am used to get a call from her at 4 am because she forgot to tell me something. And surprisingly, she's still dating the [CENSORED] of her boyfriend. Geee, I can't stand the guy. You can almost see the line of drool pouring from the corner of his mouth when Lidia's around. AAAGGGGHH!!!! >.<'

Off to work now, have to go to change the CD and deliver the few presents that are still on my Santa's bag. And if I receive a 'hm, nice' reply from them, I smack their heads together. *sighs*

Tonight Ali and Rae come back. <3<3<3

AAAH!!! IDIOT ME! I planned to post this for long ago and now I have the face to do it: thanks a lot to you for my b-day greeting and about you, here is what I promised you for so long... ;_;

* Nature boy (David Bowie version from Moulin Rouge)
* Nature Boy (David Bowie version from M. R. with Massive Attack)

If I convince my mother to return to me the Natalie Cole CD *glares and shakes fist* I'll convert her version, which if my favorite, of Nature Boy. I warn you, it's classy, masterpiece interpreted and such. Not like the blasphemy of spawn Massive Attack made ><''' Also Bowie's version is not something I'd choose to wake up in the morning. I love Massive Attack, really, but when you force something, nothing good comes from it.

*shouts* F***ING CLAMP I WANT X UPDATES!!!! -_- *is sick of their lazyness*

Permahappy person where are you? I had the idea to talk to you at least here on AIM to wish you a good Christmas and Happy new year but you are missing. Also I don't know what are you talking about your 'surprise' at your blog o.O *is confused*

Something CLAMP-ish to merry your Christmas: Yorobi no Carol by Tomoyo Daidouji & The Tomoeda Chorus. ^^

Brilliance came to my heart at 02:53 p.m. and The Song was singing

Wednesday, December 25, 2002


A song I think it's good enough to listen to encourage ourselves ^_^ It's the "anthem of good vibes in Argentina" :P so I guess it will help you cheer up whenever you are. <3<3

Color Esperanza (Color of Hope) by Diego Torres (Argentina - 2002)
Listen to the song here! ^_^ You won't regret it ^_~

I know what there is in your eyes with a single look
that you are tired to walk and walk
and to walk always hanging around the same place

I know that the windows can be opened
to change the air depends on you
it's going to help you, it's worth of, to try it once again.

To know that it can be
take off the fears, remove them
paint your face with the color of hope
tempt the future with you heart

It's better to lose yourself than ever embark
better to tempt than not to try
although already you know that it's not so easy to begin

I know that the impossible can be obtained
that the sadness someday will go away
and so it's life, it changes and it will change again

You will feel that the soul flies
just to sing once again
It's more important to shine
than just to seek to see the sun

Brilliance came to my heart at 03:42 a.m. and The Song was singing Color Esperanza / Diego Torres

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

* * *
MERRY XMAS!!!!
* * *
^_^ there. My wish and message for Xmas. Click on the link!

Brilliance came to my heart at 04:30 a.m. and The Song was singing

Monday, December 23, 2002

Which Anne Rice vampire are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Brilliance came to my heart at 02:52 p.m. and The Song was singing Se / Josh Groban

Monday, December 23, 2002


Blergh, the plant Laura gave me for my birthday is dying. Hm, anyways I don't know why in between the million of posibilities of gifts she could give me for Christmas, she gave me a plant. I mean, not that it's ugly or something. It's just... hm... well. A plant.

Yeah, it's a living thing. And there. Just there. Hm. Interesting. What a waaaannnndafoul day tomorrow awaits. *looks at clock* Technically, today. I have to go to search for some Xmas presents and then, change one from mom. Yeah. She's a practical woman and she asked me, "Okay, what CD do you want for Xmas?" and I told her Homogenic from Björk since I don't have it, or anyone that I don't have from Madonna, one of the rare single mixes are cool. She got me "Greatest Hits". Crap, woman. She didn't know and she got me that one. So today she said I'd go and change it for another one. Maybe something from Morcheeba or something more risky, like some mix of Frankie Knuckles, Komeit, Bluzire, Goldenen Zitronen ... and the list goes on. *stomps foot on floor* I want CD version of Nitrada! >_<''

Brilliance came to my heart at 04:40 a.m. and The Song was singing

Monday, December 23, 2002


Hm. Redirecting my anger towards graphics again. This one has been inspired on the feeling I got from someone self-called Renzy. And the title is, wrath.

Brilliance came to my heart at 03:34 a.m. and The Song was singing

Sunday, December 22, 2002


x_x;;; they put my name to a Ranch.

Para los hispano hablantes, es un campo, una especie de mini-estancia en el campo de 3 hectáreas, pero igual, me siento rara XD. Today's mom birthday and like usual, those relaltives you don't see unless a member of the family dies (so by concequence, they show up at the funeral), came to visit us. My uncle Daniel, who is a true gaucho (get an Argentinian dictionary now because I won't explain you what a gaucho is) told me he's going to make a kind of "inauguration" of the Ranch with some traditional singers, guitars, barbecue, wine, etc, etc. We said, "Aha, that's cool" but the most interesting part is when he told us the name he choosed for it: MADADA, it combines the names of the three inheritors of the family for that ranch = MA (Marilé, the name only my family uses for me) DA (Daniel, name of his first son, aged 13) DA (Darío, his last son's name, aged 9). I was like "Eeerr... o...kay? O.O;;;" So that ranch goes to my $piffy future :P And he says they put a big wooden screen at the front engraved with our three names and all >:3

He invited us to go to the inauguration, of course, and he asked for something else, "You'll have to start practising the piano again because you are going to play at it too" X_X;;; no way!

Brilliance came to my heart at 04:28 p.m. and The Song was singing Cielo Market / La Ley

Sunday, December 22, 2002


So, archive. Yes. No use to leave that post on for longer. If you want to read it, go to the archives.

Though there's something else about me: they say you have to canalize through something when you are in the middle of an internal storm. So I do it making... web graphics. More certainly, wallpapers. And with deep songs. Al Final is a song by the Chilean group La Ley (yeah, I like the unplugged CD a lot) and it inspired me to go, search on my artbooks and find this image of Utena in her coffin with roses, scanned it in a kick ass resolution and added some other things to it. Click here for English version y aquí para la versión en Español. Call it whatever you want. I just don't want to go to sleep because I'll feel worse. This angel is talking with me right now, and she has a peaceful halo that... has no words to explain.

Brilliance came to my heart at 03:52 a.m. and The Song was singing