For robot people

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 11:42 p.m. Epruvshgna! Rogasson verrie mon ta votiea! Yoida Eich! I get mean when I'm cookin'. You can count on that. Monday, March 10, 2003 10:09 p.m. There’s always a subtle grey zone, isn’t there. You know... the part no one feels like filling you in on. Yeah. Sure. Fine. Here is something nice: karen o (yeah yeah yeahs) who's your indie rock girlfriend? brought to you by Quizilla I feel dirty after actually taking one of those idiotic quizzes. Dirty... and little aroused maybe? I’m going out tonight with some pals from Brummer, go team! Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:20 p.m. Fetis man, if you are reading this I don’t know what you are talking about. I never took your shoe. Stop phoning Jane’s house and leaving messages because I don’t live there anymore and she’s getting mad at me. Here is how silly you sound, my friend: Message number 4728 <<<<<<< Message number 8372 <<<<<<< Hey, that crack about the hand... that really stung. I just have no idea what to do. But, seeing as he’s, heh heh, limbless, I feel no threat then that of Jane’s anger. I made pancakes with a good friend today. Sunday, March 2, 2003 10:45 p.m. I went back to my house on Saturday (my house house) just to give everything a quick check. I think the cleaning lady has assumed me to be dead because everything was dusty. Or maybe she’s dead... that’s rather unpleasant... she was pretty old... Anyways, I spent the early hours of the morning cleaning and going through the mail. I received a letter from an old enemy telling me that I’d better show up to grovel for my life if I knew what was good for me. But the thing is... he scheduled this for noon several April 3rds ago. Well, I phoned up the guy’s house and his wife said he was still waiting for me. Ha ha ha. The prat. Fetis Man phoned me today. It seems he lost a shoe and thinks I took it. Why would I take his shoe, and why would he have a shoe? The plot continues to unfurl, my friends. Fetis G. Man, what are you up to? Fetis Gerald Man what are you up to? What? What, Monsieur Man? What are you planning, Fetis? Gerald Man, what do you plan? progettate? Breüwsai? Mervalette? He left a message for me on Jane’s answering machine <<<<<<< What are you planning? Friday, February 28, 2003 12:08 p.m. I feel replaced! Jordyn, damn you! I am falling to the rank of Chad, or that guy, you know, with the hair. Bollocks Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:51 p.m. A list of words I find amusing Pennycress Spiel Cock-a-leekie polecat flowchart shagbark quondam Rapscallion Johnnycake vivacious whoopla roundabout Today I met a person who used all of these word in our conversation. I couldn’t stop smiling and I believe he thinks I’m mad. Who says “cock-a-leekie”? That’s crazy. Mmm, but I do like Johnnycakes. Monday, February 3, 2003 11:31 p.m. It was a relationship of unadulterated passion. I met her at the market, she was buying peaches. I should’ve known. We spent the weekend in her white linen bed. I feel used. But at the same time, manly. Here is a haiku about her since I’m feeling so damn reflective: Buying some peaches Her cat was named Emily Her long hair is brown. That wasn’t very good. Shut the hell up. The haiku is not an easy art to master! I bet Jane is jealous because I never wrote a haiku about her, or spent the weekend in her white linen bed for that matter. Ha ha ha ha. And so the plot begins to unfurl. I talked to Jordyn yesterday. She told me to look up some bands. She likes crazy person music; but I like it too for some reason. I like this “Badly Drawn Boy”, I feel sorry for him. And what more, I think I myself have gained new facial features, that’s pretty “dope” as they say. Not so badly drawn a boy am I, huh? Jordyn is spooky and sleeps in pink flannels. Ha. Friday, January 31, 2003 12:29 a.m. I had a strange dream last night. It was about brown chesterfields and the people who own them. It was like a documentary or something. All I could do was enjoy the ride. Today I went to the market with Jane. It was raining for most of the afternoon so we stayed in the café till Ben and his new lady friend Mary showed up. She was nice, but I think she hates me for no reason or something. I don’t really know. Fetis Man is in town again. I thought I might never see him again after what happened last month with his wife leaving him and all. But I guess they’ve worked everything out. In other news, I think I’m ready to take the staples out of my wrist now. That’s good. Saturday , January 19, 2003 2:28 p.m. I’ve got a horrible itch to smash some glasses. And my nose is bleeding. That’s about all, I guess. Wednesday, January 15, 2003 02:18 a.m. Hmmm. Yeah. She was a clever bird. Recovery for me will take years. Ben’s band had a show tonight but Greg fell down stairs or something. In the end Jane made me fill in. Was okay fun. Yesterday I found a song with my name in the title. That really blew me away. I don’t speak Zulu so maybe it’s about me, I could pretend that. Ha ha ha. ”Suuru Lere” by: Lagbaja. Hmmm. Wednesday, December 18, 2002 01:23 a.m. The rolling stones lyrics make me do strange things like smash glasses (I mean spectacles). Not on someone’s face, I have lines I never cross, but I keep finding glasses on the sidewalk and I smash the glasses on the sidewalk with my foot and it makes me laugh. One time I really wanted to punch someone in the glasses, but I couldn’t because I have deep respect for optometrists. I have a friend who is one, an optometrist I mean, and I was given the chance to look inside the eyepiece while he was examining someone’s eye and it was horrible. People have dirty eyes (in more ways then anyone could ever know). The lady in the opposite apartment from me has dirty eyes, dirty binocular-using eyes. Yesterday I finally yelled at her(him?) for peeping at me while I was in my drawers, then she said I had a stupid accent so I threw a box of Christmas oranges at her. Then she started yelling and I didn’t listen. Jane saw us fighting while she was walking up to the apartment, so that means she saw me in my knickers. Hmm. Jane is going to visit her family during Christmas so she came by this afternoon. I don’t really celebrate Christmas but I don’t mind it at the same time. Strangely, we both got each other sweaters. Peeper: You are stupid. I know you read this because you are weird. Monday, December 9, 2002 09:07 p.m. I got a few emails over the weekend wondering what happened with my hand: please know that it all turned out in the end and thank you for the concern. It was Jane who fixed everything (Jane and three packets of staples). I guess she took Colleen’s advice seriously, though I’d rather she hadn’t. I’ll have to wear long sleeves for a while. At eleven o’clock I am going to meet Jane and Ben at Yesterday’s Café for Magdalene’s 23’rd year. I expect it’ll be fun. I hope that weird guy Jack isn’t there again, he really bothers me. I hope he doesn’t read this. There is a dog outside who refuses to stop barking. That irritates me. Thursday, December 5, 2002 12:41 p.m. Ben, My hand fell off. I really need your help. I'll be waiting for you in the strair well (in a pool of my own blood). Thursday, December 5, 2002 01:35 a.m. I don’t know why I made this. My hand really hurts. I don’t think Mr. Ransallos cleans his electric tools very often. Ben did a pretty good job sewing and all, but it’s still a little loose. I’m surprised I’m not more angry. I’ve had a touch of the flu this past week and that’s been making me groggy. I went over to Fetis’ house this evening, he had phoned me complaining that his girlfriend left him again and no one would cook for him. Why the hell would I? I hate going there because his house always smells funny, like radishes or something. Anyways, I think he got a chill, Emmie left the window open before she left for her mother’s the night before. Man. It was like 40 below in there. In the end I made pancakes and the stupid idiot yelled at me. It not my fault society chooses to make pancakes a breakfast food. Around eight I went to Mr. Ransallos’ shop. Ben was there fixing the door that was broken in last week. I don’t know how he found us, but Ben’s crazy landlord came in while we were working. I guess Ben’s last payment bounced or something because he said he was going to break Ben’s legs. Most of it is a blur now but I guess Ben’s landlord got pretty insane and ended up coming after us with some sort of power tool. When I woke up Ben was sewing my hand on. That’s slightly funny actually. Ha.

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 11:42 p.m.

Epruvshgna! Rogasson verrie mon ta votiea! Yoida Eich!

I get mean when I'm cookin'. You can count on that.

Monday, March 10, 2003 10:09 p.m.

There’s always a subtle grey zone, isn’t there. You know... the part no one feels like filling you in on. Yeah. Sure. Fine.

Here is something nice:

karen o (yeah yeah yeahs)

who's your indie rock girlfriend?
brought to you by Quizilla

I feel dirty after actually taking one of those idiotic quizzes. Dirty... and little aroused maybe?

I’m going out tonight with some pals from Brummer, go team!

Tuesday, March 4, 2003 10:20 p.m.

Fetis man, if you are reading this I don’t know what you are talking about. I never took your shoe. Stop phoning Jane’s house and leaving messages because I don’t live there anymore and she’s getting mad at me.

Here is how silly you sound, my friend:

Message number 4728 <<<<<<<

Message number 8372 <<<<<<<

Hey, that crack about the hand... that really stung. I just have no idea what to do. But, seeing as he’s, heh heh, limbless, I feel no threat then that of Jane’s anger.

I made pancakes with a good friend today.

Sunday, March 2, 2003 10:45 p.m.

I went back to my house on Saturday (my house house) just to give everything a quick check. I think the cleaning lady has assumed me to be dead because everything was dusty. Or maybe she’s dead... that’s rather unpleasant... she was pretty old...

Anyways, I spent the early hours of the morning cleaning and going through the mail. I received a letter from an old enemy telling me that I’d better show up to grovel for my life if I knew what was good for me. But the thing is... he scheduled this for noon several April 3rds ago. Well, I phoned up the guy’s house and his wife said he was still waiting for me. Ha ha ha. The prat.

Fetis Man phoned me today. It seems he lost a shoe and thinks I took it. Why would I take his shoe, and why would he have a shoe? The plot continues to unfurl, my friends. Fetis G. Man, what are you up to? Fetis Gerald Man what are you up to? What? What, Monsieur Man? What are you planning, Fetis? Gerald Man, what do you plan? progettate? Breüwsai? Mervalette?

He left a message for me on Jane’s answering machine <<<<<<<

What are you planning?

Friday, February 28, 2003 12:08 p.m.

I feel replaced! Jordyn, damn you! I am falling to the rank of Chad, or that guy, you know, with the hair.

Bollocks

Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:51 p.m.

A list of words I find amusing

Pennycress
Spiel
Cock-a-leekie
polecat
flowchart
shagbark
quondam
Rapscallion
Johnnycake
vivacious
whoopla
roundabout

Today I met a person who used all of these word in our conversation. I couldn’t stop smiling and I believe he thinks I’m mad. Who says “cock-a-leekie”? That’s crazy.

Mmm, but I do like Johnnycakes.

Monday, February 3, 2003 11:31 p.m.

It was a relationship of unadulterated passion.

I met her at the market, she was buying peaches. I should’ve known. We spent the weekend in her white linen bed. I feel used. But at the same time, manly.

Here is a haiku about her since I’m feeling so damn reflective:

Buying some peaches
Her cat was named Emily
Her long hair is brown.

That wasn’t very good. Shut the hell up. The haiku is not an easy art to master! I bet Jane is jealous because I never wrote a haiku about her, or spent the weekend in her white linen bed for that matter. Ha ha ha ha. And so the plot begins to unfurl.

I talked to Jordyn yesterday. She told me to look up some bands. She likes crazy person music; but I like it too for some reason. I like this “Badly Drawn Boy”, I feel sorry for him. And what more, I think I myself have gained new facial features, that’s pretty “dope” as they say. Not so badly drawn a boy am I, huh?

Jordyn is spooky and sleeps in pink flannels. Ha.

Friday, January 31, 2003 12:29 a.m.

I had a strange dream last night. It was about brown chesterfields and the people who own them. It was like a documentary or something. All I could do was enjoy the ride.

Today I went to the market with Jane. It was raining for most of the afternoon so we stayed in the café till Ben and his new lady friend Mary showed up. She was nice, but I think she hates me for no reason or something. I don’t really know.

Fetis Man is in town again. I thought I might never see him again after what happened last month with his wife leaving him and all. But I guess they’ve worked everything out.

In other news, I think I’m ready to take the staples out of my wrist now. That’s good.

Saturday , January 19, 2003 2:28 p.m.

I’ve got a horrible itch to smash some glasses.

And my nose is bleeding.

That’s about all, I guess.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003 02:18 a.m.

Hmmm. Yeah. She was a clever bird. Recovery for me will take years.

Ben’s band had a show tonight but Greg fell down stairs or something. In the end Jane made me fill in. Was okay fun.

Yesterday I found a song with my name in the title. That really blew me away. I don’t speak Zulu so maybe it’s about me, I could pretend that. Ha ha ha.

”Suuru Lere” by: Lagbaja.

Hmmm.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002 01:23 a.m.

The rolling stones lyrics make me do strange things like smash glasses (I mean spectacles). Not on someone’s face, I have lines I never cross, but I keep finding glasses on the sidewalk and I smash the glasses on the sidewalk with my foot and it makes me laugh. One time I really wanted to punch someone in the glasses, but I couldn’t because I have deep respect for optometrists. I have a friend who is one, an optometrist I mean, and I was given the chance to look inside the eyepiece while he was examining someone’s eye and it was horrible. People have dirty eyes (in more ways then anyone could ever know). The lady in the opposite apartment from me has dirty eyes, dirty binocular-using eyes. Yesterday I finally yelled at her(him?) for peeping at me while I was in my drawers, then she said I had a stupid accent so I threw a box of Christmas oranges at her. Then she started yelling and I didn’t listen. Jane saw us fighting while she was walking up to the apartment, so that means she saw me in my knickers. Hmm.

Jane is going to visit her family during Christmas so she came by this afternoon. I don’t really celebrate Christmas but I don’t mind it at the same time. Strangely, we both got each other sweaters.

Peeper: You are stupid. I know you read this because you are weird.

Monday, December 9, 2002 09:07 p.m.

I got a few emails over the weekend wondering what happened with my hand: please know that it all turned out in the end and thank you for the concern. It was Jane who fixed everything (Jane and three packets of staples). I guess she took Colleen’s advice seriously, though I’d rather she hadn’t. I’ll have to wear long sleeves for a while.

At eleven o’clock I am going to meet Jane and Ben at Yesterday’s Café for Magdalene’s 23’rd year. I expect it’ll be fun. I hope that weird guy Jack isn’t there again, he really bothers me. I hope he doesn’t read this.

There is a dog outside who refuses to stop barking. That irritates me.

Thursday, December 5, 2002 12:41 p.m.

Ben,

My hand fell off. I really need your help. I'll be waiting for you in the strair well (in a pool of my own blood).

Thursday, December 5, 2002 01:35 a.m.

I don’t know why I made this. My hand really hurts. I don’t think Mr. Ransallos cleans his electric tools very often. Ben did a pretty good job sewing and all, but it’s still a little loose. I’m surprised I’m not more angry. I’ve had a touch of the flu this past week and that’s been making me groggy.

I went over to Fetis’ house this evening, he had phoned me complaining that his girlfriend left him again and no one would cook for him. Why the hell would I? I hate going there because his house always smells funny, like radishes or something. Anyways, I think he got a chill, Emmie left the window open before she left for her mother’s the night before. Man. It was like 40 below in there. In the end I made pancakes and the stupid idiot yelled at me. It not my fault society chooses to make pancakes a breakfast food.

Around eight I went to Mr. Ransallos’ shop. Ben was there fixing the door that was broken in last week. I don’t know how he found us, but Ben’s crazy landlord came in while we were working. I guess Ben’s last payment bounced or something because he said he was going to break Ben’s legs. Most of it is a blur now but I guess Ben’s landlord got pretty insane and ended up coming after us with some sort of power tool. When I woke up Ben was sewing my hand on. That’s slightly funny actually. Ha.