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Disclaimer: This is all Laurelgand and Moonsong's fault. If not for them I'd never be writing this stuff on this page. Blame them and especially Laurelgand for the corpse tea.
Version 13 :: featuring duelists Tsuchiya Ruka and Arisugawa Juri from Shoujo Kakumei Utena. Title from episode 29 of the TV series. Quote from Maragret Weis' Star of the Guardians.
[ MURDEROUS RAGE :: KINYOUBI 4.6.01 :: GOZEN 1:08 ]
Listening to: Gundam Wing, Just Communication
[ GACKT... :: MOKUYOUBI 4.5.01 :: GOGO 8:50 ]
Listening to: Gackt, EMU~For My Dear~
Yes, neesan, EMU is simply...amazing. I don't know how else to describe this song. It's currently vying with Story for my favorite Gackt song...
The beginning of this song is something in itself. The opening notes actually remind me of Je Te Veux, in an echo-y sort of way. When the guitars come in, they give the song a U2 kind of sound (but the song is deeper than anything U2 could ever write...no offense to them). Gackt's voice is low and soft at the beginning, almost mysterious, and when the music swells into the chorus he lets his true talent show. He has a very powerful voice, and it certainly shows in songs like EMU.
I don't know if what the rumors say are true and if most of the song on his album do have something to do with Kami...but I think neesan's argument for U+K the other day was very convincing. And I've noticed the whisper of "Kami-sama" before the beginning of the second verse of Vanilla before...but I've never connected it with, well, you-know-who. You think he's actually talking about God, or...? (and we all know what Vanilla is about anyway...!) ^_~
Anyway, Gackt scares me sometime, but there's not denying he's a great musician. And now I am off to study. XD Be back on later.
~Ger
[ OH, AND... :: MOKUYOUBI 4.5.01 :: GOZEN 8:28 ]
Listening to: Glay, Kokodewanai Dokokae
Tin, I'm rather shocked and thrilled and embarassed at the same time that you have such a high opinion of my writing. Though I've pretty much stopped writing anything Fushigi Yuugi related..*shuffles feet* Anyway, I must say that it was your writing (esp OLH...say, when you going to get that done, anyway? XD) that really inspired me at the beginning of my, uh..."fanfic writing career." ^_^
We got in trouble this morning at PT. It was great. *grin*
Wish me luck on my Japanese test today!
~Ger
[ STUDY! :: SUIYOUBI 4.4.01 :: GOGO 11:35 ]
Listening to: Handel, For Unto Us a Child is Born (from Messiah)
Studying really isn't that painful of a task when it comes down to it...I just have trouble motivating myself. I think that goes for us all, though, right? It's that time of year where the end of the semester is coming round and it just is SO hard to drag your butt to that desk and plop down in that chair and pull out the dreaded textbooks. I know I for one would rather be HTML-ing...^_~
MIKAGE DAY, neesan! XD
Handel is such a great composer. I haven't listened to any of his music in a while...I used to listen to classical music regularly, but I haven't lately. I went to see Messiah over the Christmas holiday and the entire thing was just so awesome...I can't even begin to describe what was like to hear the Hallelujah chorus sung by almost everyone in the concert hall. And the hall was packed. It was like the music just picked us up and carried us along with it to whatever paradise it was going to...truly wonderful.
Err...I'm going to try to study some more. Just felt like blogging. I will probably not be online a whole lot the rest of this week and the beginning of next, due to my Latin test, the Easter cantata for church this Sunday that we're practicing for last-minute crazily (it's always last minute too. But we're playing Messiah ^_^ Wai!), and various and sundry ROTC things that have suddenly been needing attention...the corps video in particular. I'm looking forward to doing some video editing this weekend and next week. ^_^ So, yeah, I won't be around a whole lot. But never fear...I will still have time to blog and terrorize the lot of you. ^_~
Oyasumi!
~Ger
[ XD :: SUIYOUBI 4.4.01 :: GOZEN 11:31 ]
Listening to: (waiting to see what comes up on winamp right now...ah, there we go) Macross 7, Wild Life
Today is my otouto's birthday, so yppah Dark Sith Yad, otouto (even though you probably don't read this) ^_~
Today is ALSO Mikage Day. Then again, every day is Mikage Day. Eheheheh
Mikage: XD
QS, I finished Darkflight. I'll send it over tonight for you to read and I'm going to start on Noin here in a bit. How's your Quat coming? Or should I not ask? *hides*
Err...yes, aniki. I did find your quote QUITE amusing. Any quote comparing the french horn to God has got to be amusing. Of course, we all know that the one true god is DARTH-SAMA *IM face with halo* XD You might go to Colorado? *crosses fingers*
Sorry about the rant yesterday. I haven't ranted in a while, I know, but I needed to get that off my chest. Also sorry to everyone who I was pissy towards yesterday. ROTC affects me too deeply in a great variety of ways that are too complicated to explain here, and it basically controls my ups and downs. It sucks, but that's life. *shrug* It's like a drug. The addiction is killing me, but I need it anyway. Hell of a way to explain the military, I know, but that's the only way I can describe it right now. Thing is, I know I don't want to break my addiction, but sooner or later it's either going to mind-numb me or I'm going to snap. Too many...things...happened last semester that I still can't get over. It guess it's stupid of me.
Eh...while I'm on that happy thought, just let me say that people with a vocabulary consisting of "cool," "hot," "dumb," and "good" should not be reviewing anime. Geez. "People say that Utena is deep and stuff but it's not. Something with lots of symbols and stuff can't be considered deep. Anyway, the characters were dumb. I didn't like them." So WHAT is deep, then??? *tears out hair* Just what are they teaching people in English class these days? *cries* And they try to deny that the educational level of our nation is going downhill...that review actually reminds me of the "discussions" we'd use to have in English class my senior year, which basically consisted of "Yeah that was a good book. I liked the characters. They were cool." *silence* or: "That book sucked. The characters were dumb. And stuff." *silence* ><
Hmm...it's thundering outside. And my umbrella broke. ^^;; I guess I'll have to walk to class in the rain. Gah. I hate doing that.
Mikage: XD
~Ger
[ DRILL :: KAYOUBI 4.3.01 :: GOGO 3:38 ]
Listening to: Macross 7, Kimi ni Todoke
I'm sitting here in my BDU's and I really should be doing my Latin homework...but this is bothering me too much for me to ignore. So I'm blogging.
It's pointless, really, to sit around and rehash the same old things over and over again week after week. I mean, this is week 13. We know everything that we need to know. We know what we need to do to get Honor Flight and Warrior Flight every week. All 26 of us, and I repeat, ALL of us are outstanding cadets. None of us are stupid. None of us are unable to catch up to the rest of the flight, if need be.
So then why are we slacking off?
I think before we answer that we should look at the definition of "slacking off" more closely. So what is "slacking off," anyway? Is it one week of not doing as well as we "should" be? Is it several weeks in succession of not performing up to standards? We won both ribbons last week. Remember.
They asked those of us who were not motivated to raise our hands and speak freely last week. So some of us did. I didn't. I was too chicken to tell them to their faces what I wanted to tell them. They were asking for us to be honest, but I don't think they would have liked my answer. So I stayed silent at attention. And some other people spoke. School. Priorities. No time. Etc. Etc.
Is that REALLY what it is? Think about it. It takes about 10 minutes to shine boots, if you have a good base coat and all your boots really should need at this point and time is a quick glossover and maybe a little buff with the cloth. It took me five minutes this morning to iron my uniform and make it look neat, and two minutes to go over my knowledge. All in all, that's 17 minutes. We can all spare 17 minutes to prepare for drill, right? It's that hard. All that stuff about school and time are just excuses. They're true excuses, I know, but they're not the real reason we're lacking "motivation" right now.
They want us to be honest with them, and I'm thinking that right now, nothing will work EXCEPT to be really honest with them.
Simply put, this is pointless. It's crap. It doesn't matter. POP DOESN'T MATTER. And THAT is why we don't care. It's what it comes down to, ladies and gentlemen, and nothing, no amount of screaming and yelling, no standing at attention for hours and reciting knowledge, is going to improve that. They said something this morning to the point of "You are disappointing me. You are making me look bad. Thus, I am disappointed."
That's what it all comes down to? If we're slacking off, it makes them look bad? Excuse me, but I am not in the corps to make some upperclassman look good doing their job. I'm in the corps because I want to be in the Air Force, and I care about the corps because it means a lot to me. At least, it did.
I'm not saying I speak for the whole flight, and I'm especially trying to choke down this rant and make it less sharp, because not everyone in my flight went through what I went through last semester. But whoever said that history repeats itself is right. This is the exact same crap that we got last semester. "You aren't motivated. You're slacking off. What's wrong with you?" Well, shit, I wonder why we're not motivated. Motivation comes from the top down, ALWAYS. ALWAYS. There is NO exception to this rule, and when the commander is not excited about this, the suboordinates will lose interest.
I'm not placing blame. Our DOT is doing the best he can, but somewhere along the way, the message of succeeding to be proud got lost, and now it's "succeed or else we will fuck with your mind." I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm not proud to be doing something, I will lose my motivation. We were a proud class. We were proud last year and we were proud at the beginning of the semester.
I think they're wondering what happened to the super class. Why suddenly we decided that we wouldn't give a fuck anymore. When people don't have a reason to care anymore, they stop caring. That's what happened to me. To my flight. Negative feedback and negative reinforcement and tearing down of the flight results in lack of motivation. I'm not saying that we expect it to be easy. I'm not saying I want the POC to cheer us on and be happy all the time for us. That's not the answer. But instead of tearing us down when we do something RIGHT, they could simply give us a few words of encouragement. Or not even saying anything at all would be better than "You got honor flight this week, but I bet you won't get honor flight next week."
Now, yes, this is going to happen at camp. There is no "positive reinforcement" there. But that's camp. Camp means something. POP doesn't mean anything. I don't know if it ever did, but if it did, it doesn't anymore. No one is going to be rejected from camp for not caring about POP. And so we're slacking. And so we don't care. Because it doesn't matter in the long run. Maybe that's selfish and petty of us, but then the corps isn't so great and wonderful in the first place. It's just as selfish and petty as the rest of us.
I didn't appreciate some of the stuff that was said today. I wanted to step up and cuss some people out. I know a lot of other people felt the same way. But we didn't. We kept our mouths shut and acted like good little cadets, because what would change if we said something, anyway? Nothing.
We got to roll our sleeves today. It wasn't a reward. It was motivation. It was a non-verbal way of telling us not to give up. Too bad it came from Captain Wegner and not from the POC. And of course it wouldn't; the POC would never do something like that. Instead, we would probably have gotten to stand at attention for another half hour or so. Did getting to roll our sleeves help clear the air just a little bit? Yes it did.
It's the little things like that that really count.
When I'm a POC I'm going to make a difference. I swear it. And it's not going to be because I want to look good, but because I care.
[ ANGELS :: GETSUYOUBI 4.2.01 :: GOGO 12:06 ]
Listening to: Pierrot, Purple Sky
Winamp skin: Jiro, Glay
^^;; I seem to be quoting other people on my blog more than I quote myself, but there are so many GOOD quotes out there if you look around:
"FLUTES! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE ANGELS! AND THE FRENCH HORN IS NOOOOT THE DEVIL! DO YOU HEAR ME? HE'S NOT! SO DON'T COVER HIM UP! THIS ISN'T AN EPIC BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL!!! IN FACT..IN FACT...THE FRENCH HORN IS GOD!!! NOW BE ANGELS!!! OK!!! READY? LET'S TRY AGAIN!!!"
*dies*
Hmm...I finished a Ruka fic last night. Go here to read it. It's rather angsty...be warned. (Not that anything I write ISN'T)
AND AND I finished a Ruka shrine yesterday. Started at about 4 PM, worked on and off during study breaks...went to the library for about 3 hours and came home and finished the site at 11 PM. Now THAT'S a quickie site! Seraphitus.
I've been feeling sick again these days...probably due to lack of sleep. >< I hate it when I get sick.
And off to Latin I go...
~Ger
[ RUKAA :: NICHIYOUBI 4.1.01 :: GOGO 11:44 ]
Listening to: Glay, Soul Love
...IM conversation:
Gerald: Rukaa!
Mearl: Not to be confused with mere Ruka. We're talking Rukaa.
Gerald: of course. Rukaa. THE Rukaa
Mearl: Not just any Rukaa!
Mearl: "So... you're the Rukaa?" "No, I'm just a Rukaa. Didn't you hear? I come in six-packs now."
[ >< :: NICHIYOUBI 4.1.01 :: GOGO 6:28 ]
Listening to: Shoujo Kakumei Utena, Heizoku Uchuu ni Fumetsu no Koutei (Miki)
Here are some things which Gerald does that you should never EVER EVER do:
5. Obssess strangely over fictional anime characters with pink and/or purple and/or green hair
4. Make shrine to any of the above named characters
3. Make shrine to more than one of the above named characters
2. Sit in front of computer looking at html until eyes cross
And the number one thing you absolutely MUST NOT EVER DO is:
PROCRASTINATE
*dies*
And off to the library I go, a slave to my habits of procrastination...
~Ger
[ RUKA :: DOYOUBI 3.31.01 :: GOGO 4:54 ]
Listening to: Macross 7, Remember 16
OK, so I get tired of layouts really easily. ^^;; New layout with Ruka and Juri. Jen, I don't know if you got my IM but I found the missing Ruka eps on the tapes, so you don't have to rerecord. I must have fast forwarded past them or something. *feels stupid* This layout is actually based on a wallpaper I made last night at about 2 AM after watching the two Ruka episodes. If you wanna see the bg, it's up at the mr.org backgrounds archive. ^_^ I apologize for the less-than-stellar quality of the picture...it's very hard to find Ruka pictures on the net, and most of them are quite small.
I was going to work on my essay today...woke up at 3 and have since then written about one paragraph. I DID finish my Japanese homework though!!! So there...I have a lot of hw this weekend actually >< And with church and the flight meeting tomorrow I'm not going to get any of it done tomorrow, so I need to stop making new blog layouts and start concentrating on school.
...like THAT'S going to happen. ^_~
Remember 16 really reminds me of Ruka and Juri for some reason. It might be the lyrics, which speak of nostalgia and "loss of innocence" and fit both of them quite well. Or it might be the scene in Macross where Basara first plays this and Gamlin goes to visit Physica's family to tell them the news...only...
Ahem. Anyway, I hope everything is good with everyone. Mearl, I'm sorry about getting rather annoyed yesterday. Hope you're not mad or anything. I'm going to talk about it with Laurel when I get the chance.
Exar, what happened to your blog? It doesn't show up when I go there. ;_;
Mada wasurete wake ja naindaze
Ano toki no yakusoku o
Onaji tsuyosa de onaji speed de
Yume no tochuu
And I'll never forget
The promises we made back then
Still as strong, just as fast as ever
Are the dreams along our way
Remember sixteen...
~Ger
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