Odd thing is, I don't really want to be Lestat (though it beats being Louis). I WANT Lestat. If I can't find him right now, I'll settle for some good Lestat/Louis or Lestat/Armand slash. Ya hear that, Lestat?!
Friday, May 30, 2003
03:12 p.m.
Collect $200 Everytime You Pass Go
Sometimes, life feels like a Monopoly board game, but less glamorous. Otherwise, also known
as the rat race. You just keep going in circles. I thought I ended the fatigue phase, but it
looks like I'm headed straight into it again.
.hack//Infection has got me hooked once more to gaming. I took a break from games for
about 3 months, whereby my PS2 served as a DVD player instead. Kingdom Hearts frustrated me
tons. I was so tired from all the side quests, especially the collection of all 99 dalmation
puppies. Gah. But thanks to Fabs (who was so nice to show me the extra ending of KH), I can
consider the game as completed. Although I didn't finish it by myself, I ain't playing it
again. Just too tiring. Gaming really consumes energy and sleep. One moment, its only 9.30pm,
but the next, it's already past midnight!
Somehow, I'm just a sucker for punishment. Every morning, I wake up and I tell myself, 'I've
got to sleep earlier'. And at night, my willpower will falter and I'll end up over-
playing PS2 games and sleeping just as late, or later than the night before. I really feel like
Akazukin Cha-cha in the episode where she picks potatoes, and they keep falling out of her
basket, and she can't understand why. OK, perhaps I'm one step better. I know the
reason, but I just can't quit. Sigh, I admit- I'm addicted.
This whole week has been such a blur. Basically, what I do all day long is work, see bf and
play PS2 until brain and eyes can no longer function coherently, then fall asleep. Game good.
C'mon everyone, say it in katakana verse- "Bideo geemu". Eeee, so cute! Kawaii desu ne! Must
have more .hack//Infection. Gimme more!
Thanks to TJ for the quizzies. I
tried the FF match one, got Rufus, but the piccie was of Locke. I tried several times and got
Rufus (it was always Rufus... I wonder why...), but the piccie on display was still Locke. Weird. Anyway, here are some of the other results:
You are Kuja!
Self reliant. Secretive. You lure your enemies with your sophisticated shyness. They trust
you. With that smile you get them every time.
You are Ifrit! Another of Final Fantasy's longest- lived summons, you are the
ferocious fire-demon who blazes through Ice- and Water-based enemies with his awesome
Hellfire attack. You're hot stuff!
Ouch... you're so cruel. You're hauling ass and taking
names. Some tragic event that happened in your past has made you insanely bitter
and dark. You poke fun at everything and everyone. You're close to selective few. Maybe
you should try and mend past mistakes and move on with your life? It'd make everyone's
trip a lot easier...
Eeeek! Woke up late today. Alarm didn't ring, weird.
o_o; I woke up close to an hour later than usual, when my Dad came to my room:
Dad: Eh? You're not working today?
Me: Er... er.. *eyes barely open* What day is today?
Dad: ...
Me: ... Is it Friday?
Dad: *after a moment of thought* It's Thursday.
Me: Really? It's not Friday? It's Thursday? *tries to think but fails miserably*
Me:... *looks at clock. Is 7.50am. Normally leave house at 7.30. Brain goes: SHIIIITTTT!* Oh, then I'd better rush to work now!
Let me share a secret on my blog that I wouldn't tell anyone in my office. I literally jumped out of bed, and into my work clothes. Yup, no bath. No brush teeth. My dad actually taught me a neat trick to clean teeth at office. Makes me wonder if he's been through this before... Anyway, rushrushrush! Colleagues don't have to know the hygiene part of the story, heh.
To make matters worse, it rained this morning, and I got a little drenched running from car to building. Partially my fault for being too lazy to use the umbrella, heh. ^-^ Don't somehow suppose 'drenched' look will cancel the 'rolled-out-of-bed' look?
My boss asked me to make some coffee this morning since the secretary hadn't reached the office yet. He did give me a slightly odd look when I passed him the drink. Did I look that terrible?
Could it be 'drenched' look x 'rolled-out-of-bed' look = 'Absolutely disasterous drenched zombie' look?
Hmmmm... possibly maybe.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
09:13 a.m.
Connected
Hurray, I'm connected! Took a breather from work yesterday, but now I'm back. I foresee some changes soon, and its not cause I'm an oracle. Have been asked by boss to help out another subsidiary. Looks like a lot of paperwork, but I'll learn quite a bit. I hope the work isn't too overwhelming. It mostly revolves around medical equipment and preparation of submissions to our client. Sounds similar to the last time I helped out in the Sales Dept. compiling sales tenders.
The anime otaku in me wants to SPLURGE! $_$ Went to Sungeiwang last nite- The anime shop on the Sega floor is having a SALE!!! DVDs are priced about RM24 each and MAC ones are about RM30 each. They also have .hack//SIGN in their VCD collection. I WANT! Well, I don't really want the whole thing, just the last two eppies. Unfortunately, they don't sell just 2 eppies, so I guess I might as well wait for the DVDs to come out in July. Argh! That's a LONG time to suffer!!! I want now!!! But VCD vs. DVD, I want DVD!!! Guess it's a good thing I have to wait, cause I'm over-spending again. Sigh...
At this moment in time, I'm pretty happy. Yay! I found something I though I'd lost. I found my 'The Books'!!! All 3 of them! I had so much fun reading it again. Wheee! Hmmm, I really should make an effort to type them in. So, there are pros to cleaning your room. ^-^ Nina, how many have you typed?
Before I forget, tomorrow is an IMPORTANT day. 3 people I know will celebrate their birthdays tomorrow, so:
1. Happy Birthday to my Mom (she doesn't know about the blog, but that's OK.)
2. Happy Birthday to Mary, the Teddy Pussy! (its confirmed Teddy Pussy and not Sweet Pussy, rite?)
3. Happy Birthday to TJ's Popo! TJ, You can pass the birthday greetings to her for me, yea? ^-^
In the midst of my .hack//SIGN obsession, here are the lyrics for 'The World', which happens to one of my favourite tracks on the .hack//SIGN OST 1.
the world
you are here alone again
in your sweet insanity
all too calm, you hide yourself from reality
do you call it solitude? do you call it liberty?
when all the world turns away to leave you lonely
the fields are filled with desires
all voices crying for freedom
but all in vain they will fade away
there's only you to answer you, forever
in blinded mind you are singing
a glorious hallehujah
the distant flutter of angels
they're all too far, too far to reach for you
I am here alone again
in my sweet serenity
hoping you will ever find me in any place
I will call it solitude when all my songs fade in vain
fly my voice, far away to eternity
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
11:59 a.m.
Still Internet Deprived
Sigh. Using a project laptop to sneak online. It's such a slow Saturday. Without the net connection, I can't complete a brochure I'm working on and I can't get any emails. And I'm so very sleepy...
Lately, I don't know why but I feel like heart is racing. As though I'm having a bout of anxiety. Before I go to sleep, my heart races. I wake up from sleep with my heart racing. In the past few days, I've found myself to be awake before my alarm rings. It's worrying me though...
Maybe, I've taken too much caffiene. I've cut my caffeine intake for 2 days. No miracles yet. At least, I'm glad my pulse is steady at this point in time.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
11:14 a.m.
Internet Deprived
Internet connection in office kaput. Sigh, cannot check mail, blogs, anime, etc. Bleh, v. boring in office. However, managed to keep self entertained with other things instead, so it wasn't too bad. Also snuck online with notebook, heh.
Masochistic part of me tried out a free health test. Hmmm, results are OK, I guess, though I'm not too sure on the accuracy of the machine or the interpreation of the readouts from the sales lady. Brief summary is that so far, I've no problems, but I should eat a healthier diet and exercise. Hmmm... what don't I already know?
Oh well.
Friday, May 23, 2003
09:56 p.m.
They're MINE!
I have them, my pretty pretty OSTs. Went on a downloading craze and disregarded all my principles of using the office Internet connection. If you look under a different light, a happy employee is a good employee. I am happy. Chobits OST2, both .hack//SIGN OST 1 & 2- MINE! Well, .hack//SIGN OST not 100% complete but 90% is still acceptable. Shall look for missing mp3s online. Hurray! Still looking for Chobits OST1 and .hack//SIGN OST 3. I now have a purpose in life?
Oh yea, TJ, if you're still looking for the bgm when Chii fights the big boss in the videogame, you can download it from this link . Link courtesy of Fabs ^-^
Been meaning to tell all anime otakus- There's a new shop selling anime in 1 Utama at rather low prices. Depending on the distributor, of course. The shop is called Rock Corner (I think) and its located in the new wing of 1 Utama (behind TGV). They sell 3 disc DVD (from Anime Studio) sets for only RM70!!! Those distributed by Mac are at regular prices. I want! But I promised myself I wouldn't buy any new anime this month. I've got to wait till next month =(
The holiday was definitely good for me. I feel much calmer at the office. Hmm, I really should take a break more often ^-^
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
01:50 p.m.
Heat Wave
It's been incredibly hot for the past few days! Had problems sleeping to due insanely inhumane heat. Been guzzling water like a camel! What is wrong with the weather? It's about 37-38 Celcius in the day, and about 34 Celcius in the night! Eeeeesh! Hot! Hot! Hot! It's a pity my parents don't believe in air-cons =(
Anime obsession getting really overboard. Starting to talk like Sumomo when with my bf. Of course, use high levels of self-control as to not raise one arm and go 'AIE!' whenever answering. To non-chobits fans, Sumomo is a mobile persocon, which is 16cm in length, and dressed like a genie/ middle east dancer. She's hyper and very kawaii! Her software includes a dancing program initiated during resting mode, navigation software and PDA functions. TJ: Remember the eppie when Shinbo asks Sumomo to write down info instead of printing? Eeee- pencil was bigger than her! So cute! I want a mobile persocon!
Have also managed to find several mp3s from the .hack//SIGN OST. So far I have 6 tracks. Wheeee! Bersemangat! .hack//SIGN has one of the best soundtracks- the bgms are haunting; a beautiful blend of string and wind instruments with female choral in the background. Surprise-surprise! I think most of the tracks are in English, though I can't listen very clearly to the lyrics as I'm at work. Slowly but surely, will probably drive colleague crazy listening to the same 6 tracks over and over. MWAHAHAHAHA!
Great big THANKS to Fabs for providing me with lovely link to Chobits OST! ^-^ Must find more mp3s to feed obsession... Speaking of which, the opening song for .hack//SIGN is called 'Obsession'.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
02:01 p.m.
Otaku Mode: Help!
Right now quite buggered with work. Have realised am trash at flash =( Cannot seem to make something simple, yet decent looking. Is brain-wrecking. Am re-learning the tutorials. Looks like it'll take quite some practice to master.
Due to recent heavy loads of anime, have gone into otaku mode. Must have more of the following:
a) Chobits ringtone. I tried looking for this but only found one sad Chobits ringtone based on the opening song 'Let Me Be With You.' It doesn't remind me of the actual song in any way. Are there any other chobits ringtones aside from this?
b) Anime OSTs. Currently looking for Chobits OST1, but the site I regularly visit never puts the files online. Very frustrating. Also want .hack//SIGN OST 1 & 2. Any good site recommendations?
c) Full anime episodes. Looking for .hack//SIGN ep. 25 & 26. I bought the 'original'VCDs from Vscape, but they missed the LAST two episodes. Argh!!! Been going nuts trying to locate a site that does not require streamload.
Links much appreciated. Tq.
Monday, May 19, 2003
05:26 p.m.
Tying Up Loose Ends
Can't rest properly till everything is OK. Or at least, OK by me. Had sudden urge to complete revamp of the Blood & Gold layout... Didn't think it looked much like blood and gold. So, here it is. Despite it being past midnite. It's quite incredible that I am still rather coherent at this point of time.
Shan't write much. I feel the need to go to sleep. Oh yes, I've just posted a little article on the International Weblog . It's just a simple article. Well TJ, there- I've announced it. Now all you guys and go read it. If you have time, of course ^-^
Spent evening at home, and I helped my mom in the kitchen. I really did!! We prepared a nice frozen philadelphia lemon cheese cake AND some konnyaku. My bf says he doesn't want to eat any until I eat them first. Hmph! So much for trust, huh? I think I did pretty well. I didn't break anything, or cut myself. I'm so proud of me.
Well, specifically, one of my prouder moments was the part when I read the word 'Nata De Coco' written in katakana on the packet of the konnyaku powder! Wow, can't believe I could actually recognise the characters! *-*
Okie, shoulders aching a lot, a lot now. Will go sleep. And maybe watch an eppie of Chobits. Or two. G'nite!
Saturday, May 17, 2003
12:44 a.m.
Quick Recap
Holidays no more. Leave applied, finished. Holidays lovely. Now waiting for weekend- lovely. Had a good 5 1/2 days worth
of rest. Come to think of it, not all of it was rest, though I slept almost 12 hours each day. Yes, that was good.
Can't say I did anything particularly productive during those days, but I did manage to catch up on sleep. Did shopping
with Mom, and spent some quality time talking with her. Wanted to take parents out for nice restaurant dinner but parents
declined -maybe they know I'm a spendthrift who gets herself broke before the end of each month? My mom is VERY careful with
her diet, because she has hypertension. She can't and won't take any salty foods. Even minimal amounts of salt is a no-no.
But because of her strong willpower, she doesn't need to take hypertension medicine. I guess you can't have the best of both
worlds...
I also watched Matrix Reloaded on the opening day! Yay! It was fantastic! Incredible special effects! Spoilers Ahead:
Don't read the rest of the paragraph if you do not want to taint you view on the movie. There were some incredibly good
fighting scenes, but the a little bit too much Neo/ Trinity lovey-dovey-ness. I dunno, I guess it just looks so un-Matrix for
them to be so together. Then again, I am pro-slash ^-^ . There was this scene where a girl ate a piece of 'cake' and suddenly
got turned on. Must say it was YCCian influence when the words rushed into my head "Exploding Pussy!!!". I got a little
confused and zoned out when Neo met the Architect, who proceded to talk about mathematics and databases and anomalies- none
of which are my favourite subjects. I got the gist of the conversation, but since it was kinda lenghty, my attention
wandered. Oh well, can't wait for the sequel in November!
Another event which happened in my holidays was my bf's family in KL. It was quite unexpected. Even he didn't know they
were planning a holiday until the day itself. There was his mom, grandma, uncle and cousins. I met them yesterday. Gosh, was
I nervous! I kept thinking, what if I act like a complete idiot? Maybe they'll think I'm a dolt. Maybe they won't like me.
Maybe they'll think I'm a snob because I don't speak much to them; i.e. I can't speak much Chinese. I'm OK with cantonese,
but suck at all the other dialects and mandarin. His relatives speak foo chow, hokkien and mandarin. And out of these three,
I'm most familiar with mandarin, which isn't to say much.
My bf had built up this incredible reputation on me. I really hoped not to damage that reputation. They think I'm sweet
and good-natured. Hah. So, I put on the angelic look, and tried to look smart throughout the entire conversation. I met his
mom, his grandmother and his uncle. His mom is really sweet. I didn't get to talk much with his grandmother, but I'm touched
that she wanted to talk more with me. I think I spoke intelligently, except for one part of the conversation, whereby I
forgot how to say 'antenna' and ended using the phrase "long, horizontal silver looking thingy". I met his mom and
grandmother first when we picked up them at Lot 10, and later on met his uncle in their apartment-like room in the Ascott. It
was... strange. When we dropped them off at the hotel to go look for car park space, I could actually feel myself becoming
their topic of conversation. Of course, it's much easier to assess someone when they're not around...
Hmm, the Ascott is one great hotel. It looks really cool on the inside! Anyways, we went up to join his family for a bit
of intro on me after that. I guess I fared OK. I didn't say much- at least that'll limit the damage it'd cause my rep.
Imagine if I said this:
"Hi Auntie! I'm Cin, and I like slash! What is slash you ask? Well, it male-male relationships. You know, like female-male
relationships, only both parties are male? I love to watch slashy anime and read tons of slash fiction- my favourite fics
include underaged Harry Potter and Professor Snape..."
Yea, that'll really shock 'em. Guess they'd haul my bf back to his hometown the very next day. But I didn't say anything like
that. I think I did pretty well. Hmm, I'd give myself a good 7 out of 10, and that's an A!
Shopped a bit in KLCC after that. Went to Kinokuniya! I love the name of the book shop! It's so kawaii! Saw lovely lovely
but very expensive japanese manga. Yuu Watase has a new manga out. It's called Alice 19th, but I don't know what its about.
Surfing the net to find some info on it. Also saw the value buys which included a bee-yoo-tiful complete Chobits manga set. 8
Chobits manga, plus a free mousepad and pretty box to hold it- all for a bargain price of RM275++ Waaaahhh, I want! *sob*
Can't afford it though. And I can't read jap yet. Sigh. Also saw lovely Takuya Kimura book. I think it's his diary, but I
can't be too sure, since I can't read jap. It has photos taken by Takuya's own hands!!! But it cost RM80++, so oh well.
I'm back at work today. Yea... What a change... only 7 hours of sleep. But fret not, tomorrow is a non-working Saturday,
YES!
Friday, May 16, 2003
12:04 p.m.
Happily Rotting
The holidays are great. I've had time to do things at my slow leisurely pace, with the occasional rushing from my mom. Been doing quite a bit of shopping, though its mostly for groceries, and even that has worn my pocket thin. Really, its a great mystery where my money goes each month. One moment, its there, and the next, its gone like a chocolate chip cookie!
One of the things I promised myself to do is to really learn up my japanese. OK, I'll admit, I know nuts about Kanji, and I do not intend to go into it anytime soon. But I need to brush up my Hiragana and Katakana. And then, I'll probably start learning more vocabulary (most of which I learnt through hours of watching anime). I'm really proud to have actually sat down last night and revised. Go me!
I'm going to miss the break once its over. I dread the thought of having to wake up so early in the morning, and to spend the day braving traffic and colleagues and work. Hmm, really shouldn't allow such depressing thoughts into head. Enjoy now for now ^-^
I think this is the first time I'm doing some actual thinking since Saturday afternoon. I've got to submit another little essay onto the International Weblog. I have some topics running though my head, but I can't get enough facts to make it a full essay. Hmmm... I'll see what Nina writes first ^-^
Wednesday, September 13, 2000
01:15 p.m.
Some Time Out
It's Officially Day 1 of 4 of my little break. I had an incredible 12 hour sleep last night. Strangely, I got real sleepy about 3pm in the afternoon. My mom said it was because I slept too much. I told her that there's no such thing. I was feeling sleepy most likely because I hadn't slept enough ^-^'
I do wish I could actually get somewhere different though. But I need to get enough rest first, otherwise, I wouldn't enjoy travelling. I guess right now, the perfect getaway for me is some 5-star hotel, with a great spa and massage centre. I wouldn't even go outside- I'd just stay in the hotel all day, in the spa, and then go for a great back massage. Gosh, the thought of it makes me melt...
I rewatched X-Men2 today. Pretty nice. Though I think Matrix will be waaaay cooler. I spotted one movie mistake today! Yay- I'm a knitpicker! I suppose it should be safe to state the mistake here, since most of the YCCians have already watched it. If you haven't, then just skip the rest of this paragraph if you don't want to spoil the movie in any way. The little boo-boo I spotted was at the end of the movie, just after the X-men pay a visit to the President before he gives a speech. The president is just recovering from the visit and they show him looking rather blur, with a document open on his desk. The camera will then focus on everyone around the President, and then *boom* the document that was open, is now closed. I think that counts as a movie mistake...
Oh yea, before I forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BOON- who is my 'mama's' cat, and my grandfather (I know this can be confusing). Birthday hugs to the blue tail-less cat! Happy turning 22!
Monday, September 11, 2000
11:35 p.m.
Light at the End of the Tunnel
It's almost the end of Friday. I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. It's only half a day, but the thought of waking up before daylight sends chills down my spine. I can hardly wait for the holidays. Next Wed & Thurs are public holidays, and I've applied for leave on Monday and Tuesday as well. Wheeeeeee!
Been reading fanfiction during lunch hour today. Strange but true, good slash fiction brings peace and sanity. Yes, it does.
Short entry for today. Almost almost time to go home. Right now, if I had one superpower I could choose, it'd probably be to either control time, or have the ability to clone myself, so I wouldn't have to work.
...
...
... -_-;
Why isn't it 5.30 yet? Let me go home now!!!
Friday, May 9, 2003
05:17 p.m.
Growing
It was something that someone said that got me thinking... People change, and they'll grow.
A part of this change includes people becoming more mature and taking on new responsibilities,
letting go of the past, embracing the future with a go-getter attitude, meeting new people and
making new friends.
Its made me realise- I'm not keen on growing. I don't want more stuff to worry about. I
don't want to let go of the past. And, I don't have the urge to go around and be friendly.
Apart from all the YCCians (who are almost like family), I haven't really made any new friends
since I left college. In my office of about 100 people, there are perhaps only 5 that I really
know. The rest are simply ''Hi-Bye' colleagues. And out of the 5 colleagues that I know,
perhaps only 3 that I keep regular conversations with. When I say conversation, I mean 'empty
casual talk'.
It looks like I may have a problem here. Sometimes, I wish I could just talk with my
parents, but it seems that I've also built an invisible wall against that. It's a self-survival
defense mechanism. I hate having to hide things from them, but I also hate having to listen to
the continuous nag. I suppose I do, do things that they disapprove of, but if they'd only help
be go through it instead of putting me in the wrong and close the case. I guess its pretty
silly, but watching the Gilmore Girls makes me wish I could speak so openly to my parents.
I'm incredibly tired now. I had disturbed sleep, and now have to rely on caffeine to keep me
through the day. I have gigantic dark circles under my eyes, which my mom nicely pointed out to
me. I take 8 hours of sleep daily and its not enough. I need to stock up sleep in the weekends,
where I sleep about 10 to 12 hours a day! How many hours is sufficient for a 21-year old? On
another note, my colleague is on MC, so I've to do double work, which is OK, if only I were
more coherent. I just really want to sleep right now. Since that's highly out of the question,
I'll settle for swearing.
Thursday, May 8, 2003
10:04 a.m.
The Balance
Bridget Jones is right- the moment one part of your life starts to get better, another part will surely crumble. It's like some inevitable vegitable (bean sprout) that's mixed in very good fried 'kuew teow'. Sometimes, you get a yummy, vegi-free bite, but every now and then, you're bound to bite into one of those nasties.
OK, so maybe life isn't a big plate of fried 'kuew teow', and it probably not the best parable to use, but my brain is currently not in a great thinking mood. I went to church yesterday and got my cross blessed. Yay. At last. I braved the rain and all, and was real lucky to find the priest. My bf kept telling me these 'horror' stories whereby the priest would question my church attendance and then insist on only blessing it when I go for mass. But as it turned out, the priest was pretty nice and didn't ask me anything of the sort.
I know the cross doesn't exactly have any magical powers, but just having it blessed makes me feel better.
So, that part of my life seems 'solved' at this moment in time. Now, work is the one getting on my nerves. I don't have a proper job definition, so it's a little difficult to tell exactly what my job boundaries are. At this moment in time, I feel so cramped. I can't seem to get any of my existing jobs completed cause things are just cropping up from here and there. Everytime I sit down and say, 'I'm going to finish that darn job', some phone call is going to come in. Or maybe its a VIP visitor, etc. There's always, ALWAYS something! Eeeeesh!
Pretty unhappy about it at the moment. I was hurried into preparing a presentation (document presentation) for a very important proposal. Just got 'shot' because I got the old office address from the Internet. How am I supposed to know that's the old office? If he had known it was the old office address, he should have said something before passing it to a colleague to send out. It is as much his fault as it could have been my carelessness. Then again, how was I supposed to know the darn address? The secretary had it, but I didn't know she had it, and he didn't ask me to check with her either. So pleh! Pleh pleh pleh!
I want one of them stress relievers right NOW. I don't want the squishy ball type, cause it'll just make me angrier that I can't 'hurt' it. What I need is a punching bag. Arrgh!
On a random note, wan tans look like mini-brains! So, the next time you eat a bowl of wan tan mee, notice 'em little brains!
Wednesday, May 7, 2003
04:11 p.m.
The Plan
I will go to church today. Yes I will. I have my pretty silver cross. Got it from Mimosa last nite. It's so shiny ^-^ The salesgirl polished it for me last night. And did you know that if you keep the receipt for stuff you buy at Mimosa, you can always go back to the shop and get the item polished for free? It's wonderful what you learn everyday ^-^;
I will get it blessed today. I just wonder... If I get it blessed, does that mean that I can't polish it anymore? Will the polishing polish away the blessing? It's just an odd thought. My bf says it won't. Hmmm... I sure hope not.
I told my mom about the cross last night. Her response wasn't really what I thought it would be... I sorta expected her to pry further, but her first question was, "Where did you feel it? In this house or outside?" I'm very relieved to say that it is NOT in the house. Whew!
Here's a quizzie. No pictures =( , but gosh, they say such nice things about me =P
You are THE DEEP THINKER. You're well read and intelligent, and you may share traits in common with THE LISTENER AND WATCHER. You like to have quiet time to yourself. Your strengths are in your ability to recall knowledge in a second and apply it to real-life situations. You are most likely introverted and may have a hard time making friends. Your other weaknesses are that you may at times feel above your peers. You are more intelligent than most, and so you tend to become very critical. Always remember to keep an open mind in every conversation, because there's always another chance to learn. Also, you sometimes dwell on your mistakes. It can't be helped, but try to ease up a little bit at least.
Aragorn Vs Boromir: I'm going to go ahead and call this the: 'You knew this one was going to be in here' match. Aragorn and Boromir had to settle their differences in the typical human male fashion and it may as well be for your entertainment. I don't think anyone will be wanting to touch the Horn of Gondor again after this match if you get my meaning. Ouch.
It happened again yesterday. I hate it. Unlike the past few times, I was angry this time. I'm sick and tired of it. Everytime it happens, I feel like I'm at odds with myself. I get messed up.
I don't get it. Why does it happen to me? My bf seems fine. It's never happened to him before. He says it's because I lack faith. What am I doing wrong? Ever since the last 'incident', I have been regularly praying every night, and before I take any nap. Even in the afternoons. I don't think I have problems with belief... Maybe, there is something wrong with me...
I don't think my bf fully understands how it feels. It could be a whole bout of self-pity, but it surely is pulling me down. Everytime I think, 'Hey, I'm OK with me,' something just has to happen. I know he's trying hard to understand me. He's going to take me shopping today. I'd like a cross, though I'm debating either silver or white gold. Is there any difference? The toughest part would actually be hauling my ass to church to get it blessed.
Maybe, I'm just wallowing in self-pity but I know it's not just in my head. And I will give anyone who says that it is, the evil eye AND the cold shoulder. Even if I am wallowing, just let me wallow for now. It'll pass. I'm sure it will.
