Finding Fault

I lost my temper again with Supplier S. That's two days in a row that I got into a heated argument over the telephone with the woman.

She is a real pain in the arse.

Right now, I just want to bitch about her.

Yes, that's quite right. Bitch about the bitch.

Where should I start? The fact that she looks like a little troll? Or maybe the way she likes to cut me off and talk louder than me? Or the fact that she's probably a bitter old woman who's squandered her meaningless youth and now (hopefully) thinking of doing the world a favor and wiping her insignificant self out of existence?

I'd like to think it's the latter. >:)

The woman is SUCH a COW. Just because she's a manager and I'm just an executive doesn't mean she can push me around. And so what if I called her while she was meeting a client and hence she didn't get the deal? She's a product sales manager. At her (obviously ancient) age, she should have known how to deal with calls in the midst of discussion.

For the life of me, I don't how she ever got to be manager. I mean, c'mon. Which male in his right state of mind would even think about sleeping with her?

You know what? I'm glad she lost the deal.

Serves the old cow of a troll right.

Friday, February 27, 2004
05:06 p.m.

The Entry That Got Delayed

I've been meaning to write new entries for the past few days, but never seemed to have enough time. It's been getting really hectic in the office. Transition periods are so trying!

I've been picking tons of work, while the 2 colleagues who are leaving are getting more relaxed. Doesn't mean that they are just loitering around cause they still have work to finish before they leave. Then again, if I were leaving, I wouldn't give a rat's ass. Hey, once I got my paycheck, I ain't coming back, so what's to worry about?

Course, being the 'nice' person that I am, I'll actually care and finish up as much as I can before I do go.

But that's just me =P

So, what am I stuck with now? Tons of administrative work! You name the administrative chore, I'm doing it. Gah. I kinda promised my current boss that I would help her out for at least 2 months, till the worst it over. But that doesn't mean I can't go looking around right now.

And that's exactly what I'm doing at this 'party hour' of the night. Me. In front of the PC. Typing up some generic cover letter. And blogging. When instead, I could be cuddling up in my bed. With my new blanket. And my PS2. And my TV. And my DVDs. And my games. ...well, you get the picture.

So, what's been happening so far?

1. Furthering my studies
After completely bitching about how sucky my job is, my dad has given me the green light to further my studies PART TIME. So, I've been thinking about the various courses/ degrees I could take:

Journalism Degree
English Literature Degree
Japanese Course
Law Degree

Now, the first 3 choices stated above are purely my own. I've always wanted to do journalism, but got stuck doing Business IT because of my parents. In fact, if it were completely up to them, I'd have studied some incredibly boring business degree.

English Literature is easily a second choice. I like books. I like reading them. I enjoyed my form 5 literature class. It's just a study of something I enjoy.

Japanese class is another thing that I've thought of doing. Initially, I thought of studying it on my own, but I got lazy very easily, and that didn't help me progress very much. I'm still debating on it, since I'm planning on applying for the Asian Youth Fellowship scholarship. If (crosses fingers and prays) I get it, I'll get to study japanese for 14 months FULL TIME! So, I'm gonna apply first and see how that goes.

Law degree. Now that came out of the blue. When I was really really young, my parents thought I'd make a good lawyer. My brother would be the accountant, and me the lawyer. But somehow I never showed any interest in law, while my brother excelled in all sorts of mathematics.

I think my dad will be very happy if I took up law. I don't mind either- it's actually quite fun (Alan was once a law student), and it helps you protect yourself. You'll learn how to counter all sorts of legal situations.

Problem is, I don't have A-levels. So I'm not really sure how this is going to work. In any case, I still have to do tons of research on all the above.

2. Piracy and loan sharks

I don't see the connection. I really don't. There have been these new ads on TV, saying that there's link between piracy and the 'ah long' and how you support them if you buy pirated stuff, yada yada yada.

In my opinion, the loan sharks have always been around. Did it take the govt this long to notice that the loan sharks are a problem? Weren't there loan sharks when there were druggies? And why does the samseng in the ad give a smug smirk at the end of the commercial?!

Piracy exists because of price. It's true that if we reduced the price of the originals, more people would be inclined to buy them as they would be supporting the artists/ developers, etc.

But why this difference in price? It's all because of our darn economy. Piracy is SO popular here because entertainment and computer software has become a luxury to us. This isn't a problem with western countries because their economy is strong and hence, their status of living allows them to purchase these products like mere convenience store items that they are.

Check out the dvds on Amazon.com. An average dvd only costs USD11.00. We're not talking about special collecter's edition type dvds. If we earned in USD, let's say USD2000 per month (after deducting taxes), that's an easy buy. That's only 0.55% of the paycheck.

But over here in Malaysia, the average cost of a DVD is RM150. If I earned RM2000 a month, that's a bloody 7.5% of my paycheck.

Sure, there are cheaper Made-In-Malaysia dvds. Let's say, that costs RM50.That's still 2.5% out of a RM2000 monthly paycheck. And not all the good titles are available in the 'budget' corner.

Compare the percentages. Is it any wonder the people go for the pirated products?

The industry should stop blaiming the government. It's always someone pointing their finger and saying the government isn't taking enough action to stop it. Stop and think. If these goods were sold, at reasonable prices, compatible with our paychecks, there wouldn't be so much trouble.

But no, the industry cares about itself. Sure, the local distributors have tried to lower the prices but THE PERCENTAGES DON'T MATCH! Don't you get it?? As long as those percentages look like the above figures, there's little chance piracy can go away.

So what if the ringgit doesn't carry as much weight as the USD? If the industry bothered enough to match the prices, they would still earn quite a bit. Instead, what it does is bitch about in the news about how much money has gone down the drain due to piracy.

Now, what people do on Kazaa and other peer-to-peer sharing programs is a different matter. That's what the Internet is for- sharing data. It's a whole different ballgame there.

And that's about my rant, that has been pent up for the past few days. Phew.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004
11:05 p.m.

Empty Room

Not all siblings are close to another, and I'm one of those who aren't. Sure, we live under the same roof, but due to a humungous age gap, I've always found it hard to talk to my brother. We don't share similar interests or friends. I doubt he knows any of my friends, and I don't know any of his.

We've always been arguing and quarrelling like forever. He treats me like a child, and that annoys me to no end. He still likes to play with my hair and call me by my (very annoying) house name.

My brother is moving to Seremban next month. He's going to be working there as a Finance Manager in some furniture company. It's a big opportunity. But the location is very far, and it'll take too much time and effort to travel daily from KL to Seremban. And that's not even thinking about petrol and toll costs.

So, he'll be renting a room there and will only come back on weekends.

I know we haven't been all that close, but I think I'm going to miss him. It's strange. I'm not sure how to explain it... It just is.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004
12:23 p.m.

Valentine Edition

Valentine's Day. Some dread it, some love it.

I don't think I ever dreaded it, although there was a time when I didn't get any gift(s). :(

But I spent those 'single' days hanging out with the YCCians. And later, the Ed Board- ians. So either way, it was kinda fun. In fact, I still have the little smiley faces that TJ made for us some time back in Form 4 or 5. I pasted it on my wall (right next to a poster of IwtV). Sort of a reminder of how things were. And I must say, it goes well with the poster. :)

Sometime in college, I met someone whom I liked as more than just friends. In the beginning, he was kind of mysterious. He looked very much like a boy scout, but snuck off for a fag when he thought no one was looking.

I was intrigued. Not that I am pro-fagging, but there was just something interesting. We didn't hit it off immediately. No, in fact, we took almost a year.

Alright, for the first year, I hardly ever noticed him. I was quite busy with scholarships, new friends, clubs and studies. It was only during one of the college balls (no dirty thoughts please) that I noticed he was very nice-looking.

I got to know him much better after my involvement with the Sports Club. Until today, I still do not understand completely why he chose me as vice-chairperson. I'm really really bad at these club management thingies, and I still believe it was because of a lack of a better person.

And when he suddenly quit his position and threw everything to me, I felt like going crazy!!! Sports Club has SEVEN clubs under it! Being in the management team of the clubs is like a mini student council.

Can't say I dealt with it well. After all, I joined the club not to manage it, rather to have fun. ... I was a really, REALLY bad chairperson.

On the plus side, I got to know him better. But not the way most people would have preferred to. I went whining to him every time something happened. How do you deal with purchase requisitions? Gatherings? Account balancing? Arrrrrrghhh!

Let's skip all those boring lengthy details. I could rant forever and ever, but that would be too time consuming.

So, in the end, he asked me out. I was really blur at that time, and I thought he was asking me for advice with another girl. And I thought I was encouraging him to go out with another girl. Strange huh?

After explaining it later to me, then only I realised he was asking ME out. Yay me! I win?

That story is over 4 years old. His name is Alan, and most of you already know him.

By now, I know all about him. He's no longer that mysterious figure I met in the beginning. We've been through a lot of tough times. Any couple that has been together for 4 years is sure to have their list of troubles. And if they say otherwise, they're lying.

I realise that we may not have the exact similar interests.
He likes basketball, I don't.
I like slash, he doesnt. Hehehe. I might be worried if he enjoyed it the way I do.
Strangely, I appreciate beautiful women, but he denies looking other girls. Isn't that sweet?
I like Ranma 1/2, he doesn't. Feel free to argue with him on that.

Of course, we have our similar interests as well. Like expensive dining. Like puppies and doggies. Like Love Hina and Chobits. ;)

So, what did we do this Valentines?

Alan's dad was around, so we went for lunch together at a jap restaurant. Mmmm... sushi... After that, we took Alan's dad home. Loitered around for a bit before going to a shopping complex where...

... I GOT MY HAIR REBONDED!!! Alan sponsored for more than 50% of the cost of rebonding. I am pleased with the results. Since my hair is intially quite straight, there isn't a drastic change. But it feels so nice, so soft and there are NO frizzles.

It's like that little rebellion army on my hair got nuked with chemicals and got heated to crisp. Bye bye rebellion. Good riddance too!

For about RM500, the hair stylist(s) had better flush the rebellion away. I had also wanted to highlight my hair but it already looks kinda nice. Plus, it'll cost me an additional RM300 to highlight. Urgh.

I so wanted to take photos of my treated, pampered hair, but since I only finished about 9.30pm, the shops were all closing fast. Oh well, the effects should last for a year, and I do have a digicam.

We didn't have a fancy Valentine's dinner since it was so late. He'd already taken McDonalds during the 3-hour wait. Meanwhile, I just grabbed an ice-cream after that.

My hair! It's so pretty! I can't get over the fact that the rebellion is GONE! No frizzles!!! Yay! Will take picture and post up later. =)

Oh yea, before I forget, I have yet to get Alan a present. Eeep.

Monday, February 16, 2004
11:50 a.m.

Hermit-fy Yourself

I went shopping last night with Alan and his dad. After dinner, we went to Ikea to look around a bit. Am so happy I found two things I've been looking for. Well, I haven't actually been looking looking for them, but just keeping an eye out.

The two items are:
1. Breakfast tray
2. Blanket

And I found them both! Huzzah! These are both hermit-type items, as they will ensure and increase my comfortability level while I lock myself up in my room and play PS2 or read books or toy around with the notebook

My breakfast tray is white and a little see-through. It's made of plastic, but not the type of completely solid boring plastic. There were 3 colours (white, red & grey), but I decided white will go well with the rest of my room.

In fact, I tried it out last night!!! I set up the breakfast tray and then propped my notebook onto it.

Perfect.

The size fits my notebook perfectly! And I can sit oh-so very comfortably while I read e-books or scanlations! And it's so pretty! And nice! (I just want to rant. Can you tell?)

The only down side to it, is that I always thought my breakfast tray would be made out of wood. Then again, for RM19, I'm not complaining. :)

Now on to the blankie. It's soft and baby blue. Kinda reminds me of a smelly blankie some kid would have. Except that it is mine. And it's still new, so no smells. I haven't opened it yet, so I can't say much about it.

Except that it is also pretty. And nice. And I just want to rant.

A big thank you goes out to ... Alan's dad, for buying the stuff for me. Yay!
... I do feel a little 'malu' though...

Thursday, February 12, 2004
11:03 a.m.

Jaded

My email server has been down. For 2 days now and counting. Well, not exactly 2 days, but come 5.30pm and it will be.

Grrraaaggh, I hate the lack of communication. I can't send emails to bother anyone! And it's too obvious calling someone up to whine and rant.

Because I have 'cleverly' configured my PC, I am still able to get the Internet. Phew! Unfortunately, almost everyone else doesn't have net access, so I keep getting questions on why I can still connect.

I so so SO want to get into the Asian Youth Fellowship. Unfortunately, my biggest problem is my 14 years of education. An average student would have taken 16 years (from Primary till Degree). I lack 2 years through the 'crash course' I took at Inti. Thus, there is a high chance my application will be considered invalid.

Sigh. Threw another tantrum. It's so unfair. I worked my butt of for a degree, like the rest of my classmates. I suffered with only 2 weeks of holiday (sometimes less) for 2 years and 8 months. And now, I'm probably ineligible for a Japanese scholarship.

It sucks. It really does.

When I check for my status of eligibility, I got a contrast of opinion. A former scholarship holder told me that you can bend the rules a little bit. A japanese officer told me otherwise. But I don't care. I'm going to try anyway.

It's all so very frustrating. I just want out now.

Somewhere. Anywhere.

I need a vacation far far away from this ordinary life.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004
03:22 p.m.

Monday morning rant

Uuuu, don't you just hate Monday mornings?

I mean, what's there to like anyway? You've probably spoiled yourself silly throughout the weekend. But now it's back to reality.

And reality is so very cruel.

For instance, I dropped my phone this morning. *sniff* It's the hardest fall yet. It went clunk! clunk! on the hard granite floor.

And then it said: Please insert SIM card

I restarted it. And then it said: SIM card rejected

Was starting to panic a little. Checked the casing and all. Turns out that the fall 'killed' my dual SIM card cover. My phone is still OK, although a little wounded. It also gave me an error message. But at least everything is OK when I restart- unlike with the dual SIM card cover.

If that's not enough to convince you that Mondays are evil, perhaps this will.

I came to the office, all ready to check my mail and blogs. To my horror, the Internet connection was down.

Later, they managed to rectify the connection, but until now, my email is useless. Sigh.

Also, they're renovating the office block next to mine. My office is like a semi-D unit, but my company owns the whole thing. Anyway, they're knocking down one of the walls and it's really noisy and dusty. All I've been hearing all day is THUMP!.. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP-.

Oh yea, I've got to be real careful when going out of the third floor cause there's so much debris and if I don't check properly first, I could be hit by a chunk of wall. 0_o

No one should wake up to Mondays.

Monday, February 9, 2004
02:56 p.m.

Call Me Paranoid

Have written lenghty entry on career related matters. It was all nicely typed out, although my thoughts are in a slight mess.

However, when it came to posting the entry on my pitas, I felt... uncertain.

Since my counter is out-of-order at the moment, I can't tell if there are any colleagues of mine who have found out about my blog.

Precaution better than cure?

Anyway, have uploaded the entry into in LJ-land.

Monday, February 9, 2004
12:11 p.m.

Ready For Change

A little while back, let's say about 6-8 months ago, change terrified me. I had gotten too complacent in a comfort zone.

Since then, many things have changed. Some of them were by my own choice. Others were not. Either way, I've had to cope.

Truthfully, I'm a creature of habit. I like doing things in a certain way. I like planning my day (though I only plan for the very near future). Still, if I plan to buy a DVD on that particular day, I plan to buy a DVD on that particular day.

Not the next day. Not the day after that. Not next week.

It's surprising how I get so upset when my plan gets ruined. Suddenly, I'm that little brat of a child who throws a tantrum to get what she wants.

Ironically, even now as I talk of change, I'm already planning the change. I know what I want to change. I know I want something different. But there are plenty of other things that will be out of my control.

Right now, I want to change job. Change of environment. I feel like the work is becoming too normal. Too routine. Not challenging. And not much fun. Course, more money is always good.

Sounds like such a trivial reason to jump, huh?

Not everything has to make much sense in life. :)

Friday, February 6, 2004
04:20 p.m.

Break

I consider myself to be a stand-alone unit during the holiday season. A holiday is a holiday, regardless of whatever holiday it is. And when you are alone in your room, with your TV and PS2, it makes little difference.

However, this year, I am beginning to feel the pang of emptiness.

Holidays are best spent among the people you care about. People who are connected to you, blood or otherwise.

Pandora's Box was opened earlier this year. Perhaps, it was always meant to be opened. Looking back, there was never really any choice.

Sometimes, just sometimes, there are things that you cannot do anything about. No matter how much you want it to be better, you just have to sit back and take a spectator seat. You are not one of the players on the field, rather, an extra- made to sit on the bench and watch. Regardless of whatever you do, you simply cannot influence the game.

Their end result will influence you.

A part of me wishes I was younger. It's easy to blame your condition on the fault of immaturity. Being 22, it's harsh. I don't have that choice.

If only I were 10 again. I'd savour everything while it lasts.

Tuesday, February 3, 2004
10:27 a.m.