the afterlife gets z@ny

Bitter and Disgruntled

Warning: Much bitching ahead.

It's been a terrible day at work, and I just want to take it out on someone. I was going to take it out on the supplier. She really annoyed me. Then again, maybe its not her fault for being a pretentious apple polisher.

Alright, this rant is not making any sense. Let's start with how the day went.
1. Raining. Dragged my exhausted self out of bed, only to drive to work in the rain. All I could think about was how nice it would be to sleep in. Driving to work in the rain is one of my least favourite things to do. Driving home in the rain, is not exactly pleasant, but would be a huge improvement over the former.

2.Crappy day at work. True, I don't like to associate with colleagues, but there are times you can't help feel left out. The department right next to mine threw a birthday party for the manager. But they did not invite me or my colleague (who aren't in Finance Dept). They did invite some other managers. Ok, so it's their party, but hey, I'm sure THAT's company money. Why not invite the other TWO people on the same floor? Oh yea, my boss got invited, but he didn't bother to extend the invitation as he walked pass us. He only asked my colleague to go in because he wanted a cup of coffee.

Come to think of it, it's not even about the food. You know what? Whatever. Fine. I don't care. They only decided to ask us when they had leftovers. I'm thinking, "What the f*ck?!" If you want to offer someone something, do it with them in mind.

3.So, how can things get any worse? I meet up with this bitching supplier. Yea, she's about as nice as the Assunta-ian debater we went against in high school. Sickly sweet. And a brown-noser. She had to make all the necessary calls in front of us. Like ordering stationery and cancelling her staff's leave. What the f*ck is all of that about? Can't you go to your own office and settle your problems? Is it essential that we see what you're doing? Do I look like I do? Cause I don't. Gahhhhh!

4.Ok, so there really isn't a number 4.

5. And there isn't a number 5 either. But with all the shit I've been going through, I'll put what I want.

End of rant.

Friday, August 29, 2003
05:33 p.m.

Now This Is Just Weird

While lazing around and surfing for more Jason Isaacs articles, I came across this one from BBC. Is there such a thing as 'The Chronicles of Lucius'? For a moment, I thought he was joking. Until I remembered an old fanfic I read called... *cue ominous music*
Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Lucius

Farfetched as it may seem, could it be that he reads fanfiction? Ooooh...

For some eye candy, go download the Peter Pan trailer. Captain Hook has a little too much facial hair for my tastes, but I am looking forward to see those 'fresh bulging pecs' and 'tight buns'. Tee hee.

Also, PMS is VERY bothersome. I desperately need to rant and whine. My PMS is very evil and likes to torture me in a new fashion each month. The symptoms rarely repeat itself twice in a row. Keeps me guessing every month. Truly evil...

Wednesday, August 27, 2003
04:35 p.m.

Life Update

Been a bad inconsistent blogger the past few days. Well, quite a bit has been happening since last week. Alan and I are attempting a new project, but I shan't be giving out much details here. Maybe later. I'm tired and have been losing sleep and appetite. (Stupid bout of anxiety) Been sleeping slightly a little better the last two nights because I'm way too tired.

Also scared myself with the thought that I may be suffering from BOTH manic-depression and anxiety. But probably just PMS-ing. Hope it is just PMS kicking in. Sometimes I really can't tell whether its PMS or otherwise because of the stupid irregularity. Hmmm, that might be a tad too much info on PMS.

Feel like crap. Feel even more discouraged at the thought that I have to work this Saturday. Blergh. Honestly, I don't see the productivity pouring in. What's the point, right? Oh well, at least I'll be able to check my mail and blogs. Plus point for working this coming Saturday is the monthly staff birthday party. At least we get free food and about an hour worth of not doing anything.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003
12:04 p.m.

Being Disagreeable

Yes, I have a problem with authority. I also have a problem with certain people, which I don't even know how to describe. I don't normally go out of my way to argue with people. I just let them be, and respect their choices. In return, I expect to receive similar treatment.

I met a friend of my mom's for the first time last night. And she was SO annoying. Grrrr. Just the thought of her makes me wanna give her the evil eye. Or snarl at her. Or hex her. Or simply hang her by her ankles and make her listen to variations of Jalur Gemilang for hours. Hmm, that is cruel and unusual...

First of all, I didn't ask her for a bloody opinion. I was simply telling my mom something and she had to butt in. Secondly, she had to talk louder than me, and try to shove down her opinion in my throat. Gawd, I can't stand her!

Of course, I snapped. And in my own fashion, was considerably rude to her. With her numbskull, I think she hardly noticed it.

Later on (I can't believe I did this), I quized my mom on who she was. Why was my mom talking to her? What's her business hanging around my house? Who does she think she is trying to busybody into anything that I do?

I also (I really can't believe I did this) told my mom not to be such close friends with her because:
a)I found her annoying.
b)I don't like her.
c)I don't think she's worth befriending, and probably is a backstabber.

Strange but true. I feel so weird, but not very guilty.

Friday, August 22, 2003
05:37 p.m.

Misc. Links

Just some links that I found interesting. Hope this cheers up your day, Lil. ^-^

Lovely Jason Isaacs page. Read the 'Articles and Interviews' section to find delightful information *_*

And here's an amusing story by Nimori, titled The Pandora Complex. I've only read the first 2 chapters so far, but find it highly amusing. It's about Snape, finding out about the Internet, and the massive volumes of smut fanfiction about himself with an assortment of pairings. Hee hee.

Thursday, August 21, 2003
05:16 p.m.

Call Me Cruel

Petaling Street has been nicely renovated- tar roads replaced with yellow brick road, nice sun shade placed high above the street, cleanliness level is up... Unfortunately, some people have taken advantage of these improvements.

These opportunists are the beggars. Call me cruel, but I find them highly disgusting. No, not all of them, just those that insist on crawling face down on the street. Alan remarked that these are the worst beggars he's ever seen. Hell, I've seen much worse than that. The guy just didn't have one leg, that's all. And that is no reason to crawl on the floor like an earthworm.

So, I'm being mean, but I don't feel one bit sorry for them. These filthy beggars (there were about 2 of them) were crawling on their stomachs, face down, on the new brick road. Attention seeking slugs, I call them. It was clear that they were simply trying to get people to notice them. They even did the stupid inch-ing thing. This particular beggar would inch himself (and the money basket, heaven forbid we forget that) forward and then not move for ages.

Motionless/ crawling beggars on the street are a very embarrasing sight, especially for foreigners. I'm sure the main reason Petaling Street was renovated was to attract tourists. Urgh, the authorities should really do something about this. I think it brings an even worse reputation than our famous pirated VCDs (which I believe have contributed towards our tourism industry. Where else can you get such wonderful variety at cheap prices?)

Alan thinks I'm getting all worked up over this issue. Am I? Don't get me wrong, but I not exactly a beggar-hater. I just HATE it when beggars don't try to do anything constructive. I'm sure they could learn some skills, anything compared to sitting day and night next to the street. I also hate those who use their children as tools. Blech.

Thankfully, not all the beggars there try to be so pathetic. There were even some that I respect. For example, there was this old guy who couldn't walk, but he was painting lovely pictures. He got quite a few people crowding around him to watch him paint. Now, that's how it should be done.

Ok, main frustration vented in blog entry. Let's move on to something more soothing. Been reading some lovely articles on Jason Isaacs and Alan Rickman. Jason Isaacs is very un-Lucius Malfoy in real life, but he's such a darling! And Alan Rickman is supposed to be very nice to his fans. I wanna write fan-mail to him! Goshdammit! I need Snarry NOW! I need MORE Snarry NOW! Must. have. ARGH!

Note to add:
HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY to SAN-CHAN!
Go wish her happy birthday on her blog, and make sure to comment!
Gomen, San-chan. I meant to put this up earlier, but got distracted by my rant. ;^_^

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
04:37 p.m.

Fickle Minded

Ever get one of those days you thought you had a topic for your blog, and later one changed your mind? Well, today is one of those days for me. This morning, I had a topic in my head, but due to distractions, only managed to type bits and pieces. Looking back at where I left off this morning, I've decided that I don't want to write about that anymore.

I wish I wasn't so fickle minded. At one minute, I'd want this, and then I'll decide that I don't want it after all. I remember this discussion with Alan-> We were at Summit, buying tickets a day before the opening of some big movie. So after we buy the tickets we go to the supermarket.

Me: Maybe I should buy some ice-cream home. Just finished my supplies in the house.
Alan: Ok.
Me: Dang! I didn't bring enough money. =(
A: Want me to pinjam you some?
Me: That's OK. We're coming back here tomorrow for a movie. So, after that, I'll see whether I'm still in a mood to buy ice-cream home.
A: ???
Turns out the next day, although I had enough money, I didn't feel like buying ice-cream home anymore. I guess being broke the day before saved me a good RM10. Sometimes, the thought of purchasing at item seems like such a good idea at the very moment, but later on, you don't feel quite so wise. Maybe the blue one was nicer than the red one...

Snape Update
Have changed Hall of Obsession picture. Mmmm, Alan Rickman... This picture was taken sometime back, but he still looks as good. Also, have found a Snape Wallpaper Gallery. Some of the pictures really give him the eeevilll Prof. Snape look. Yes, the Slytherin Death Glare type. If I had a teacher that looked like that, I'd be such an angel in class. Perhaps a frightened angel, but an angel nonetheless =P

Monday, August 18, 2003
04:04 p.m.

Define Family

'Family' is a simple word. Everyone's heard of it. Children as young as those in Primary One know about it. They would define it as the people whom you live with.

As you grow up, they tell you that family are people with whom you have blood ties with. And even later, you take on your closest friends as family. So now, 'family' is composed into two groups; people who share the same DNA as you, and people you're close with.

But what do blood ties mean when you hardly know the person? How strong is blood? Would you help someone just because he or she is a relative? Even if you don't know the person or haven't met the person before? How far would you go to help a relative you do know? Would you be willing to lend them a house or a car? Or donate a pint of blood? How much do you think they'd do for you?

I hardly know my relatives. Embarrased of the fact, but not very much bothered to make a change. I hardly meet them 5 times a year. And in these instances that I do meet them, I have nothing much to say. I'm not the small-talk type of person. I can small talk for 15 minutes, but after that I get bored. I lose interest and my attention will divert elsewhere.

On rare occasions that I do want to engage in conversation, I find myself in a dilemma. I don't know my cousins' names. Save for two. I know two names (but one of them lives overseas)... Do I still get points for effort? This certainly doesn't give me rise to popularity at family dinners.

Question: Would you go for personal happiness or family happiness even if it means you're suffering deep inside?
Sometimes, it feels like your priorities are so screwed up. I hate that. Or even worse, I hate the feeling of helplessness. Even personal happiness doesn't seem all that great when your conscience nags at you continously. With time, I hope to block out that little voice. No conscience, no guilt, no unhappiness. Yes?

Where do you see the future of 'family' going? Is blood really thicker than water? If so, then how about money? Everyone is so materialistic nowadays. We can buy 'family' with money. We can buy love and affection, fake as they may be. It seems that with an abundance of money, you can buy practically everything. So, exactly where does this leave real 'family'?

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't want to see the decadence of 'family'.

Friday, August 15, 2003
11:28 a.m.

Cherry Blossoms

I swear I saw a sakura tree on my way to work. I even blinked several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. What other tree has pink flowers all over? There wasn't a single green leaf in sight! It was SOOO pretty- pink blossoms instead of green leaves, and a pool of blossoms on the ground surrounding the tree. I wish I could have taken a picture, but that would just add more hazard to my already hazardous driving skills.

I passed the road again about slightly more than a week later. No more cherry blossoms. The tree was completely bare, as though it were autumn. Just checking, is it possible to have a sakura tree here? Tis so weird...

Everytime I look or think about sakura trees, I always remember Tokyo Babylon. I think of how Seishiro tells young Subaru about the story of 'Why Cherry Blossoms Are Pink'. Here's an extract of the translated manga, vol.1.
(Note: 'Man' is Seishiro, but Subaru only knows this 10 years later. And I thought I was blur).

Subaru: Pretty flowers, aren't they.
Man: Do you like cherry blommons?
Subaru: Yes.
Man: Do you know?
Man: That there are corpses buried under the cherry tree.
Subaru: There are... corpses?
Man: It's because the corpses are buried under the cherry tree,it blossoms every year.
Man: Cherry blossoms, they're really white.
Man: Pure white, like snow.
Man: Well, do you know, Why these cherry blossoms are pink?
Man: It's because they feed on the blood of the corpses buried below.
Subaru: Aren't the people under the cherry tree suffering?
Man: Let's make a bet...
Man: If you and I can meet again...
Subaru: I'm sorry.
Subaru: I can't hear you very well, because of the wind...
Man: So, today...

Seishiro: ...I'll let you go.

Mmmm, wanna read more? Here's a translation site. *Sigh* My darlings. They are as lovely as Lucius/Harry. Course, nothing beats my Snarry *giddy fangirl laughter*.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003
12:32 p.m.

For The Heck Of It

... The things we came up with in high school. ^_^; Who else remembers this?

Saturdays are SO not meant for working.

Note to add: Happy Birthday to my Bro.

Saturday, August 9, 2003
11:55 a.m.

Crime In Progress

I saw the 2 snatch thieves in action on my way home yesterday. It happened on the motorcycle lane (yes, you heard that right) near Nanyang. I normally take the small inner road as to avoid the traffic that builds up on the Federal Highway. There was this one girl standing on the 5-foot walk in front of the motorcycle lane. I think she was SMS-ing while waiting for someone, when this arsehole pillion rider tries to snatch her bag. He failed cause of her position. She was standing next to a lamp post (on her left) and had hung her bag over her right shoulder. When the thief tried to snatch her bag, she hit the lamp post, and probably hurt her back. But all in all she looked alright.

Gawd, I wish I could have rammed the motorcyclists down. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, it wouldn't be possible because:
a) Was stuck in slow moving traffic
b) Motorcycle already speeding away, as no traffic in their lane
c) Don't like the idea of swerving my Kancil into the motorcycle lane

Hate hate hate snatch thieves.

On a happier note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JQ!

Thursday, August 7, 2003
12:05 p.m.

August Tests

You should be dating a Scorpio. 23 October - 21 November Your mate is passionately caring, dynamic and
sensual. Though he or she can be self-
destructive, ruthless or overbearing, the
scorpion's sex life involves releasing his/her
most pent-up passions.

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla
Did you know Lestat is a Scorpio? ^__^ But there are other who'd swear he's Leo. I don't mind either.

You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
... Er, sounds like me, alright.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003
03:23 p.m.

Holiday Report

Holidays are loooovveeelyyyyy. I didn't get as much rest as I thought I would, but it was nice nonetheless.

Thursday: Day One of my (well-deserved I should think) hols. Woke up at noon and took my mom and grandma out for lunch. We went to 1 Utama. I swore at another driver (bad habit) and it was surprising when my mom did not chastise me. My mom wasn't too keen on what I liked to eat. She wanted to have wonton noodles, but that always gives me indigestion. We settled on something mid-way- spaghetti. It's still noodles, but not wonton type. Was tired of suggesting places to eat and getting turned down, so I settled for San Fran. I tried the Cherry Garcia drink, but don't recommend it to anyone. Tastes like coffee with medicine. Had to drink it anyway (luckily I only ordered a small one). They really should have tasters for the new flavours.

After that, proceeded walking aimlessly around the complex. Lil called me to ask about something. Really sorry if I sounded cross/ distant. I was just SO tired from walking here and there, because all I wanted to see was anime related shops. Perhaps I was being a brat, but hey- that's me. We spent a huge amount of time looking at health related products, which made me feel bad. And unhealthy. =(

Met Alan for dinner- we went to Planet Hollywood. But before that, I dragged him to go look at anime stuff again. Been ages since I didn't feel broke. And I wanted to celebrate me birthday. But didn't find any DVDs I wanted to watch. Will visit S&M Shopping Arcade (did I just hear Jean snicker?)

Planet Hollywood is interesting. Food is OK. I had a Mai Tai (of Doom)! It's more of an atmosphere place. There were loads of memorabilia hung on walls. They also had a pretty good band playing. The lead singers were good, but they lacked angst. They just couldn't pull off angst-tpe songs. (Hee hee, I'm one to talk about angst) Talked with Alan. Told him about the stuff bothering me- it did relieve me of some thoughts. But still, I hate it cause there's nothing I can do about it. *kicks stuff around*

Friday: The day itself. We decided to spend it in Mid Valley. Oddly, I can't recall too much about it. I remember watching 2 movies- Tomb Raider 2 and Bad Boys 2. And eating A LOT. First, there was breakfast. And I think... lunch. I can't remember what I had, or whether the meals were combined. And then there were snacks in-between meals. And dinner (which I remember skipping but ended up mooching of Alan's dinner anyway). Oh yeah, I also bumped into one of Alan's friends there. It turned out that it was his birthday as well. So we both wished each other ^-^ . Got loads of calls and SMSs from friends. Arigato minna-san!

Saturday: It was a rainy day. I remember sleeping tons. Did a little bit of shopping. And meeting up with my friends for dinner. Let's just skip all the mundane bits, and go straight to the dinner! Met up with Fabian, JQ, TJ, San and Tan, Lil, Hani, Julie, Haz and Kenvi. Lovely dinner followed by BIIIG slice of ice-cream cake (gosh, I hope everyone managed to get some cake). A big thank you to Hani for the tarot reading. Some parts were more true than I'd like to admit =P. Thank you everyone for all the lovely, lovely presents!

As usual, we had many many discussions going on at the same time (typical YCCian outing). Hey Boon- we even talked about the bus episode! =D Just thinking about dinner makes me wanna eat RED MEAT. YUMM! Er, anyone with photos of dinner? Post up, yea?

Sunday: Normal Sunday. Day of rest. Kinda. Met up with Alan in the morning, and lepak-ed around. Tried looking for Uncle Ho, but oh well... Went back for family dinner in the evening. Brother belanja- yay! Told my parents that I wanted to dye my hair. Surprisingly, my dad said he thought I'd look good with some blonde bits. I told him I preferred blue. ;^_^ My brother likes auburn, and I've no problem with that. Heee, Armand! We'll see just how long I take to get my hair dyed.

Monday: Not a particularly interesting day. The last day of my rest. Slept till noon. I've got to make the best of what I have left. Spent the afternoon watching Kenshin eps. Gotta remember to pass the set to TJ when I see her next. Laughed a lot by myself. Is good thing to lock room door. Later on, visited this shop that boasts of Penang food. It was rather nice, but then again, I don't have real penang food to compare it with. That's the main problem with all these restaurants. How'd I know what French food tastes like if I've never been to France? For all I know, they could be pretending that its French food. Ah well, as long as it tastes good, I'm happy. Keep those vegitable far far away from me.

And that's about it for my hols. Oh yea, I had this weird dream last night. It involved Hogwarts and Suede. I only remember bits of it:
1. Suede sitting in my room. We realised that my room had a window that would not close. We kept trying to close it, and from a certain angle it was closed. But as we circled it, it opened. Weird.
2. Me and Brett in the enchanted car fighting off a legion of HUGE birds (prolly Hippografs or 'garuda'). I remember the birds attacking the car, and me screaming and moving towards Brett's side. He had to grab me by the waist *swoons* to keep me from falling out of the car to my doom. I really don't like birds.
3. Brett and Hogwarts.
4. Some magical egg we were supposed to obtain. That was supposed to be the main objective.
5. Brett. Brett Brett Brett. Nyeheheheh.
6. All of Suede dressed in black. A pity I only remember mostly Brett. He was dressed in black too. Lovely black long sleeved shirt, with long black pants (jeans I think). Mmmmm...

Can I go back to dreamland now?

Tuesday, August 5, 2003
01:43 p.m.