the afterlife gets z@ny

22

A great big thank you to everyone who called and SMS-ed to wish me today. It's been great =) I'd write a longer entry, but my comp is quite unstable and has hung 4 times on me already. Promise to write more when I get back to office.

Looking forward to seeing the YCCians tomorrow ^-^

Saturday, August 2, 2003
12:28 a.m.

Peeking In Pandora's Box

There comes a time in your life where you reach a fork. Probably, you'll see it coming a mile away, or it could hit you out of the blue. It could be a life-changing decision, a major event or just knowing something you shouldn't. And whatever it is that you did or chose will haunt you for the rest of your days. It's something you'll look back on and either regret you knew it, or maybe, just maybe, you could use the knowledge for the betterment of everyone.

I guess this isn't making much sense, but I reached one such point yesterday. I found something I didn't think was meant for me. I gave into curiousity. I mean, it was just lying there. Waiting to be found. Waiting to be read. And I read it. And now I know. Perhaps it wasn't such a big secret in the first place, but denial works wonders. It most probably right under my nose, but I was too pre-occupied with myself to pay any attention to it.

Really, its a personal thing, so I'm not even going to go into the details. This may be contradicting myself, but I need an outlet, even though I don't want to talk about it. I called up Alan just so I could hear his voice, but I didn't want to talk about it to him either. I thought about it. Perhaps it would have been better off not knowing, but is that really true? Do I really want to not know? If so, when everything is over, would I feel better had I not known? I don't know. This whole business of knowing or not knowing is driving me nuts. And thats not even counting knowing what I do.

Alright, we'll have to hand the information an award because it does bother me more than the 'knowing' part. Am I making any sense, or am I ranting in circles? Does it matter? See, I'm going round in circles again. Argh!

On the brighter side, I'll be taking leave from tomorrow till Monday. Time to catch up on all those things I planned to do.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003
11:00 a.m.

Violent Dream

Night before last, I had this weird violent dream. I wanted to blog about it earlier, but my comp died on me (no surprise) and I couldn't bother to fiddle with the motherboard. Preferred to read OotP rather than curse at the PC. Anyhow, here's how the dream went:

I was in the waiting area of a clinic, face to face with this other man- can't really remember much of him except that he had white hair. There was a lady with him. Somehow or rather, I found out that he was my half-father (eh? since when could a person have a half-father? Pretty sure this is a CSI-induced portion), and the lady beside him was my half-sister. I got quite P.O-ed by the fact and I killed them. Wish I could remember how though.

The next scene included me and my mom driving in my mom's car. My mom was complaining about how taxes had gone up and how everything was getting more pricey everyday. She gave an example of a doctor's consultation; 'If you ask the doctor a lot of questions, or as questions irrelevant to your current illness, the doctor would charge you extra.' At that moment, we were passing the clinic. My mom continued the tax/ doctor bashing, while I zoned out. I just stared at the clinic and made a mental note that I was never going to visit that one again.

I wonder what interpretation could come out of that dream. Am I some reincarnated psychopath? Or a mass-murderer? Hmmm... Oh, this reminds me of another weird dream I had, also about the government making more money. They wanted to implement a new car park system in all the jails, so they could collect RM1 per hour whenever family members went to visit the inmates. Somehow or rather, the government decided to measure the height of the parking lots (built beneath the prison) with pillows. I then remembered my lovely fluffy pillow and instinctively clutched my pillow tighter for fear that they would come and take it away as a measuring tool.

As the Smashing Pumpkins would say, "Strange".

Monday, July 28, 2003
01:23 p.m.

The Trainer

I gave an in-house training session today. Me. Giving training. Weird. I think I managed pretty OK, considering the fact that I only photostated the notes this morning, and brushed up on everything else in the midst of breakfast. I just kept procrastinating the preparations... Anyway, I'm glad not a full-time lecturer or a teacher (I'm a rather boring one at that). I don't think I could last, repeating the same lesson to several different classes, consisting of bewildered looking children/teens . Or maybe I could. I'd just have to focus on the nice working hours and semester breaks =)

Anyhow, I'm still catching up on Lil's Snarry fanfic recommendations. Sigh, I really do love their bickering. Snape can be the perfect bastard *smirks* Mmmm... He's also such a sexy *itch ^__^

My brain just isn't working anymore. This entry doesn't have much purpose. I can't seem to remember how to spell and constantly seem to rely of Microsoft Word. I'm tired. Drained. And I have to work tomorrow. Friday doesn't feel so cheery when Saturday isn't a full off-day. No, no, mustn’t be pessimistic now. Need some happy thoughts in head. Happy happy thoughts...

Friday, July 25, 2003
04:56 p.m.

SIMS-singitis

Had a tough morning today. Server acting up and I know practically zilch about Linux machines. Why does the bloody thing hang at the login screen? Beats me! Was mostly upset by the fact that I couldn't check my email, blogs and regular sites in the morning. Luckily, things got cleared up mid-afternoon.

Which brings me to today's topic. Fascinating- I never knew there was such a thing as SIMS fever (no pun intended). See, I introduced SIMS to my colleague several weeks back. Since then, we've both been hooked to the game. From Thursday till Sunday last week, I'd been feeling feverish and my eyes were so tired, up to a point it even hurt to open them. I thought it was just me or some lingering illness (I had the flu on Tuesday). Anyhow, she told me that she was facing the exact symptoms yesterday! Alan calls this the SIMS-singitis effect.

Signs: Prioritizing the SIMS above all others. Single track mind obsessed on going home to play SIMs despite symptoms. Since when did humans need food and sleep to survive??

Symptoms:Feverish forehead, cheeks and eyes. Sudden increase in sensitivity towards light for eyes.
Hmmm, that sounds about right.

It's very difficult to juggle all your favourite hobbies in a day. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to go stark raving mad! I need my SIMS. But I also need time for OotP and Uncle Ho! Juggling 3 obsessions at the same time is very bad for both my mental and physical health. On the bright side, if I get ill, I'll get to take MC sit at home, and boggle my mind at which of the three I should do first =)

Thursday, July 24, 2003
04:49 p.m.

Time for the Occasional Quiz

Wednesday, July 23, 2003
05:12 p.m.

My Bogeyman

In pitch dark
I go walking in your landscape
Broken branches
Trip me as I speak

Just cos you feel it
Doesn't mean it's there
Just cos you feel it
Doesn't mean it's there

There's always a siren
Singing you to shipwreck
(Don't reach out, don't reach out
Don't reach out, don't reach out)
Stay away from each rocks
We'd be a walking disaster
(Don't reach out, don't reach out
Don't reach out, don't reach out)

Just cos you feel it
Doesn't mean it's there
(Someone on your shoulder
Someone on your shoulder)
Just cos you feel it
Doesn't mean it's there
(Someone on your shoulder
Someone on your shoulder)
There there!

Why so green and lonely?
Lonely, lonely…

Heaven sent you to me
To me, to me…

We are accidents waiting
Waiting to happen

We are accidents waiting
Waiting to happen

There There by Radiohead, 2003

Haunting song, huh? Well, I like it and the eerie MTV as well. On first listen, its quite difficult to make out the lyrics. I needed help from the Internet to decipher it- those who have heard it will know what I mean.

This songs speaks for my paranoid, haunted self some months back. Nice to know I'm not the only one out there. Hey, misery loves company. Speaking of which, wasn't there a song about Misery by Soul Asylum some years back? Think I'm going to go look for it.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003
02:35 p.m.

Whoa, When Did That Happen?!

Sometimes, I find my life so boring. So ordinary. I'm not a thrill-seeker. I don't go out of my way to find something unusual and exciting. I'm far too lazy for that. Besides, I'm too much of a habitual person anyway.

But I forget that its not necessary that incredible things should only happen when you look for them. Sometimes, they happen just because. I could be in the middle of a political riot and not know what was happening. Hey waitaminute- I have been in the middle political riot! I thought people were just acting weird, right Lil? Anyways, that was a pretty cool experience.

Had another 'cool' experience today. Depending on person, the word 'cool' may be substituted with 'intense' or 'deep shit'. It was like the movies or the news. Of course, I was waaaay too blur to notice at first. Plus, I couldn't go around poking my nose in affairs totally unrelated to me. So, I don't have the full picture. At least I learnt something new. =)

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
04:00 p.m.

Bon Odori Photos!

As promised here are the photos of Bon Odori.

Photo 1
A photo of the YCCians. First photo of the night. =)

Photo 2
Another photo of the YCCians. Changed cameraman!

Photo 3
View of the crowd from above. Many many people and lights!

Photo 4
Picture of the stands that we were sitting in. We sat somewhere at the top right hand corner. Remember the earlier crowd? A really lenghty speech scared everyone away.

Monday, July 21, 2003
02:33 p.m.

Bon Odori

Whew! Just back from Bon Odori festival, held in Matsushita Sports Complex in Shah Alam. It was a v. nice experience, especially since I didn't know what to expect beforehand. Managed to take quite a number of photos, which I'll upload once I get to work. Really cannot upload with sad connection at home as photos quite big. Also, will probably need to use Photoshop in the office to scale down the pics. Amazingly, I have revived my comp. at home, although the CPU speed is laggy. Well, as long as it works, I'm not complaining.

I was able to try quite a variety of food at Bon Odori. They had a lot of stalls, though half of them just bought stuff from Jusco (I can get that any day!) I preferred to get authentic jap food, eg. not Ayamas. I tried onigiri (which is jap rice in triangular shape), mochi (two different types of it) and japanese yoghurt ice-cream. I actually wanted the caramel ice-cream, but they couldn't find it for me =(

Met up with Fabs, Lil, Nina, and Julie there. Will put up group photos on Monday =)

Aside from that, have been having some problems with my eyesight. It's been getting very sensitive the past 4 days. My eyes are also dry and tired. I can't stand bright light- it gives me a headache. It was so bad at the office, I could barely open my eyes in the afternoon. At first, I thought I was getting a fever, but the condition continued the next day as well. My best guess right now is that my eyes are rebelling against my will to play SIMs. I have been torturing them for about a month now...

Must.. play.. SIMs...

It really is incredible how much torture the human body can take.

Sunday, July 20, 2003
12:38 a.m.

Pooku oo oo up puk u kuku pooku

Fancy learning Mooglish, anyone? Then visit this site. By the way, my name in moogle is: Kop u upok poko koop. Just a little something for the start of 'The Afterlife, v. Mooglism.

The new layout is so very bright, compared to the previous few. A little cuter than I'd like, but it was nice to try something new. Hopefully, the brighter layout will churn up more optimistic entries. Let's see how long I can keep this cute and cuddly. ^_^

Ah yes, before I forget:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE!

Thursday, July 17, 2003
01:02 p.m.

Been Sick

On the road to recovery from the flu. Looks like I really did catch the flu bug during the weekend. Anyhow, I'm starting to feel more like my usual self already. The best part about being sick is the MC. It would be dreadful to have to suffer the entire day at office while feeling like crap. Well, I felt like crap through Monday night and Tuesday morning. And then I took MC (love the very thought of it) and almost instantly (it did take a 4-hour afternoon nap) felt better.

MC should stand for Magic Cure! We should all have MC when we're feeling ill, no matter how light the illness it. Productive employees are happy ones. Lil we've got to start that Ministry of Re-education! Another rule to enforce is that
'If it rains in the morning, the day is automatically deemed a Public Holiday'.

Also back on SIMs addiction. Funny how easily I can get hooked so easily all over again. This time, I'm skipping the the darn 'Get A Life' section. I went straight to 'Play the SIMs' (the option wasn't available initially). Started a whole new game and cannot wait to get to play again tonight. Hurray, this time I won't have to get married or have kids! Talk about commitment phobia...

Wednesday, July 16, 2003
02:31 p.m.

The Evilness of it All

I had no real plans for the weekend. Just to relax. But am I relaxed? No. Why? There can be a variety of answers to this question. The easiest of which is 'I dunno'. But saying 'I dunno' would be lying. I know why I'm so down. It's probably not caused by a singular reason, rather a combination of all the below:

Room light not working. This is an odd reason, but one which upsets me greatly. I am unable to laze on my bed reading my books. I am so pissed off with the light. It had to go all wonky, RIGHT AFTER I purchased a japanese dictionary, so I can translate manga. I haven't been able to read my jap dictionary at all, through the entire weekend! However, that is due to fact that I read GoF most of the time. I would have been able to finish it if not for stupid light! ARGH! Evil horrible broken light! Hopefully light fixed by today.

Horrid minor accident to Alan's car. Some moron reversed from the parking spot, without noticing that there was another car parked beside it. And then there was a bang, and a small dent and minor scratchings on the back left passenger door. =( However, bf said he was more worried about me than the door (the accident happened on my side) and that cheered me up (a little more than I'd like to admit).

Odd sleeping position gave me a crick in the neck. Feels like I over-exerted my muscles and now recovering from the exercise. Could it be astral-projection? Also, feel like getting ill, but most likely experiencing the remnants of sinus irritation THROUGHOUT the night. Not a very good start to the day/ week.

It's Monday for crying out loud! Damn the week! 5 days to go till weekend and Bon Odori!

Monday, July 14, 2003
09:28 a.m.

Training and Other Matters

Yesterday was a very kakus-ed day. Computers just would not work around me. I was at a training course in Shah Alam and throughout the entire day, the server refused to work. It would work for several minutes, and then be down many minutes. I think there was more downtime than actual working time. Apart from that, the PC that I was using suddenly stopped working! It just shut down by itself and wouldn't restart. The trainer checked all the cables and the power supply, which seemed to be working fine. Strangely, the keyboard numlock light was on, as though it had hung, although the CPU itself had no light. Bencinya - all the little things that went wrong delayed my plans of going home at 4pm =P Only could leave the training centre at 4.45pm. Oh well, still waaayy earlier than normal hours. ^_^

The reason for rushing home was to catch T3 at night. Guess it was pretty good, especially since I had no expectations. Was nicely surprised =)
*Minor Spoiler: I never knew that such big vehicles could move at such incredible speeds... Reminds me of the Anime Law, where the bigger the vehicle, the faster and more mobile it is.*

GSC has implemented some new rules which I must applaud them for. No children are allowed to view movies rated 18SG/ 18SX/ 18PL, etc, even if they are accompanied by parents. HUZZAH! HUZZAH! GSC also introduced new twin seating for couples, which I tried yesterday. The seats are spongier and a bit wider. Kinda nice ^__^ They cost RM2 more than regular seats. The best part is, no children allowed in these seats. Another HUZZAH for GSC! I know where I'm going to sit when I watch the next 'kiddie' movie. Love GSC now. Their seating arrangements are SO MUCH better than TGV, and they have better popcorn.

Announcement: Have finally rid self of SIMs addiction. No longer feel the urge to spend insane amounts of time playing SIMs. Reason? Children. I don't have any real attachment to children- I may not like them all the time, but then again, I don't hate them all the time either. They're OK, as long as they're not mine. Somehow, cannot tolerate the idea of my SIM (named after me) having 2 children. So far have had 3 neglected babies, which were rescued by the SIMCity Social Services. (They (the babies) keep appearing out of nowehere!) Also, do not like the husband of my SIM, as he is ugly (by my standards anyway). Have tried to kill him, only to find out that if he dies, its 'Game Over'. That sucks.

So for now, I fill my spare hours with Harry Potter- GoF. I want to finish it soon, but there just aren't enough hours in the day to do that. Damn the hours! Why can't we spend less time at work? Argh! World unfair!

Before I end today's entry, lets all have a moment of silence for my comp died that died.
...
It was a good comp. Don't worry, I'll revive it as soon as I can. It's either I send it to the shop, or play the crazed scientist, attempting to bring out the dead. @_@ *cackles eeeevill laughter*

Friday, July 11, 2003
03:56 p.m.

Memories and CDs

Some 'old' videos on MTV in the weekend reminded me of all the old CDs I've left untouched for years. I had the sudden urge to listen to these songs over again. -I'm easily influenced by the moment- Anyhow, I looked through collection of cds, and wow, I have quite a number I haven't played in ages. In fact, I'd even forgotten (eeep!) about some of them... Awww, hugs to all my cds. Love you all!

Among my favourites are my Garbage version 2.0, Simpsons (Songs in the key of Springville?), MTV Alternative Nation, Nirvana (almost all of them), Ash 1977 and The Mask OST. Of course, needless to say my Suede CDs are always in my room. As much as I'd like to listen to them, I couldn't play all at once. So, I chose Ash 1977 & The Mask OST.

It brings back so many memories. I watched the Mask for the first time with Lil and JQ when we were kids about the age of 13. I remember trudging to the video shop (Vickna's shop I think) and renting the videos. We rented 2 vids; D2: The Mighty Ducks and The Mask. I think Lil was initially skeptic about The Mask. However, turns out that all of us LOVED both movies and we got the OSTs. Unfortunately, my D2 OST was a cassette and it got overplayed. I still have it somewhere, but I doubt it's functional. Hmm, now I suddenly have the urge to listen to that soundtrack. Oh damn.

I love the Harry Connick Jr. track on the Mask OST - (I Could Only) Whisper Your Name. Hell, I love all the songs on the OST. I recall the times when I used to play it over and over again, until the songs practically drilled themselves into my head. I recall how I used to pay more attention to the song lyrics rather than the boring pile of notes. Oh well, who could blame me anyway? =P

Ash was another one of favourites. I got their debut album, while the band was still a trio. Their first single 'Girl from Mars' caught my attention the first time I ever heard it on the radio. Strange how some songs stick to you straight away while some others grow on you with time. I also used have a 'thing' for Tim Wheeler (lead singer). It was mostly because his features reminded me of Armand. He wouldn't look exactly like Armand, but there are just certain features. Er.. I'll not go further with this- it gets quite complicated and lengthy. Quite a pity I only have their first album...

Think I'll go home and look up somemore of my old CDs ^_^ Cleaning (occasionally) does have its benefits.

Wednesday, July 9, 2003
02:37 p.m.

Monday Again

The weekend flew by so fast, it didn't do me any good. I really need to take leave soon, but I keep having to delay, cause I want my boss to actually complete my performance review before I go on holiday. Was never really good at being patient...

Surrendering self completely to Snarry addiction. Heee, the thought alone makes me all warm and fluttery inside. Unable to even think about going through the week without a healthy dose of Snarry. Am starting to firmly believe that slash fiction is an incredible work-stress remedy. Remedial classes, hmm.. heheheh. Will finish GoF ASAP(told you I was a procrastinator)! And then start on OotP! Huzzah!

Sigh. Wish I really had magical powers. I'd make it 5.30 right now. I'd also conjour up lovely Snape, Harry and Lucious. A nice warm thought to help me through the week. ^__^

Monday, July 7, 2003
05:04 p.m.

Topsy-Turvy

Am feeling utterly dreadful. Hate period. PMS drives me insane. Although not necessarily to get 'down in the dumps', my mood swings are simply incomprehensible. They switch so fast, even I'm left confounded. One moment, I'm giggling like a schoolgirl while reading about jealous Snape, and the next moment, I'm whining and ready to cry because Snape and Harry broke up.

The slightest thing can upset me or make me deliriously happy. Right now, I just want to go home and not face any situation which can cause emotional instability. Tummy starting to act up and I feel like killing someone. Pervert in particular. Even when I'm not PMS-ing, he makes me go all homicidal. I really can't wait until the day he wins a Darwin Award.

I'm going to go cool off on some Snarry now. Hopefully, I'll be happily sedated, so I won't tear out his jugular when I see him next. ... I just really want to go home.

Thursday, July 3, 2003
03:01 p.m.

Y'mean it's not Tuesday?!

If you had asked me yesterday what day it was, I would have said 'Tuesday' confidently. I don't know what got into me. I was so hung on to the idea that it was Tuesday. I spent the entire Wednesday thinking it was Tuesday. I made plans about going to watch the movies. I planned to watch 1 movie on Tuesday (enjoy the Ladies' Night discount) and another on Wednesday, since I hadn't seen 'The Hulk' or 'Charlie's Angels- Full Throttle'.

I planned to buy the Wednesday tickets 1 day in advance, so I wouldn't have to go through the 'Finding Nemo' experience all over again. When I got to the cinema, and was surprised at the incredibly long queue. The first explanation that popped into my head was:
'Wow, a lot of people must like to watch movies on Ladies Night...'

I spend a good 20 minutes queueing up, and at last, I could see the counters. I noticed that many people were only paying RM12.00 for two tickets, and my brain came up with these explanations:
1. TGV was having a special promotion for Charlie's Angels
2. They were kiasu like me, and wanted to get the tix in advance
Never once did I consider that it might not be Tuesday...

So, my bf and I finally got to the counter and the guy charged us RM12.00 for the tickets. Brain still going 'Hey, special TGV promotion!'. Then I asked the counter guy about tix for the Hulk the next day. We bought 9pm tickets, and he charged us a total of RM30.00. As we were walking away from the counter, I thought, did he forget to give me a discount for Ladies Night? So I took a look at the tickets.

Hmmm...
'Charlie's Angels' tonight- RM12.00
'The Hulk' tomorrow night - RM18.00
Something's wrong here. Couldn't figure out what. Gave tickets to bf for safekeeping. Walked away from cinema to go buy snacks. Then, something hit my mind.

Me: Hey can I see the tickets again?
Bf: Ok. *passes them to me*
Me: *stares at tickets. Brain thinking, but apparently, not very clearly.*
Bf: What is it?
Me: *struck by moment of brilliance!* Did you know today is Wednesday? It's not Tuesday! No wonder the ticket queue is SOOOO long! Hey, why didn't you tell me it was Wed? Then we wouldn't have bought full-priced tickets for the Hulk at such a late hour!
Bf: ... I trusted you?

I'll just bet he didn't know either. Wonderful... Oh well, so today, we're going to watch Hulk at 9pm. =) I still can't believe I didn't notice. Ore baka!

Random Madness: I'm in the midst of reading A Wizard's Song. It's such an incredibly long but good fanfic! Love it lots! Love jealous Snape! Aieeeee! Felt like squealing during all the jealous Snape bits! Love jealous angry Snape, oooh, he's SO hot! Love Telanu for writing such a BRILLIANT fic! And thanks to Lil for telling me about it!

Thursday, July 3, 2003
11:18 a.m.

Crash Boom Bang

I saw an accident on my way to work today. It happened right before my eyes, so to speak. I was driving on the Federal Highway, when I saw it happen in the motocyclist lane. Two motorcyclists, two motorcycles, 1 boo-boo, two motorcycles colliding, then flying, with the motorcyclists thrown to the side of the road. I must have turned the radio on real loud, cause I couldn't hear a thing apart from the music.

I don't know what happened to the motorcyclists after that, though I'm sure all the other motorists behind me would have stopped to take a good look at it. Argh! That really infuriates me! Even the stupid Twisties truck ahead of me was slowing down to try see through the rear view mirror. It was moving at a breakneck speed of 40kmph!!! Tempted as I was to overtake it, I had to stick to my current lane because I was going to make a turn into the Subang Old Airport road. Gah!

SIM Update: Changed jobs! Decided a military life is too boring for my SIM. Why not let her go into Xtreme Sports? Woo-hoo! Of course, money is a factor too. Over-played again last night. Sigh. What can I say? I'm addicted.

Also discovered something mildy fascinating: I have a funnybone in my right thumb. Interesting...

On a brighter note, my ankle is OK already! Heiki, heiki! =D

Wednesday, July 2, 2003
01:55 p.m.