:: who will hatsumi end up with? ::

Monday, May 24, 2004
// 09:52 p.m.

was feeling less down lately, trying my best not to think about the marks much. just so that i can do things like normal, and not have my mood affect everything else I do. yet today, just out of the blue, went to mark place to look at the marks again.. ended up feeling all depressed and deflated again. all that work at ignoring the fact seems to be gone to waste. having to see those cold hard numbers staring at me as I stared at them... T_T

And i've been spending money again. not my money, but my mum's. i feel bad for buying stuffs, since i'm not getting paid, not do well in school, and may not even be able to go BACK to school come september. someone should really stop me from wanting stuffs so much. :x i want to earn, lots and lots of $$, not spend! x_x

what did i buy that was so expensive? books. can't believe books cost so much. T_T where are all the cheap pocket books when you need them. X/ they are actually, 3 books and 2 english manga. 1 of them is a compu book that hopefully i'll learn by end of summer, 2 chick lit that i want to read. hopefully these will tie me over for the summer and i wouldn't want to spend anymore $$ on more books :x strange that karin mentioned tsubasa and xxxholic in a recent post. coz i grab xxxholic vol 1 just for the h. of it, along with h.g. vol 1. i skimmed thru h.g. in the loo, coz i was getting tired at the time. i think it's done quite well, except that, i don't really understand some slangs(?!) they used in the trans. when it got to those points, i often felt like asking what is the character talking about. overall, there are some cheese factors in the trans, but i like the experience of reading it in english over again, felt like i understand it more. as for xholic, it's really interesting, i like the humour in it very much. the same light-hearted feel as in gohou drugs, but also with the same undertone of mystery and worries. i spotted one or two places of errors/misplaced trans, but they don't matter much if you don't understand jpn. overall i'd say this is really well done. it shows delrey really made the effort to satisfy the fans. :)

gotta go do some.. stuffs.. bye!

Thursday, May 13, 2004
-_- // 10:59 p.m.

Well, marks are all out. I didn't make it. :( I expected it, given that I didn't pass one course. But.. it still hurts. Kinda lost right now actually. And disappointed. And feel like I'm just SO utterly utterly useless and stupid. Glad that I didn't look at it at work today, otherwise, the WHOLE room would know how much of a failure I am. ... ... ...

Right now, I'm just.. I don't know, in the process of doing some stuffs.. :/ Fill out the forms for remarks, write an email to the academic counsellor(sp?) etc etc. There's several things I have to do too, to arrange stuff, inform some people who's gonna be affected by me failing. etc etc *sigh*

So, T_T where to next? what to do? where to go? Is there really a place for me in this world? :(

Thursday, May 6, 2004
In Response // 04:35 a.m.

Kill Bill vol 2: I wonder, what would people think, critics or no critics alike, if vol 1 and 2 were to be combined together and were being watched as one whole film together. Would people still have separate opinions about different parts of the film? Back to the point, I didn't watch vol 1, but I don't have a BIG inclination to watch it. Yes, it's probably more entertaining and I think, exciting, most likely because of its actions. Because, I mean, if the fights were as fast pace as it were in vol 2, I'll understand that. However, I personally don't really enjoy "action" films. And I suspect that's what vol 1 was. Not PURE action, but just enough that it can call so. So, films like that just isn't my cup of tea. For vol 2, yes, it has a lot of talk and background, but I like that. Since, I'm a "story" person, remember? If it's just killing and fighting, and I don't know the reason why... that's kinda pointless and mindless. I like that I get to figure it out as I watch vol 2. I suppose, in vol 1, you only know that she needs to revenge and kill Bill. But you don't get to know "why" yet right?

Actually, I don't think it's strange to think vol 1 better than vol 2. Your opinion is just different then a lot of the critics out there. Doesn't mean that normal movie goers don't agree with you. H didn't like vol 2, but for a different reason I suspect. I don't think anyone of us who watched it liked it except me actually, judging from what you guys were saying on the subway. But nonetheless, I like it. And the reason why? I guess I wasn't really expecting anything going in, so I could just watch it as a single film and not compare it to anything. Actually, vol 2 is probably just mediocre, it's not great, but not "bad" either. I think, I found it funny because I laughed at little odd moments that amused me. (But I don't think I was supposed to laugh at those points.) Well, snickering, not laugh. >D But, yeah, I think it's because of that, and the fact that I don't really take anything in the film seriously. Take the part with the training. I know it serves a serious purpose.. But the little comedic effects in there were just.. XD I think I just watched too many chinese shows and movies, so while others maybe going Ooo's and Aaa's with the "testing of strength and skills" part, I paid less attention on that and more on the "mind game" going on at the back. I think, that's why I like it and find it funny. But then.. my brother said the film was stupid. XD I think he doesn't like the way the end was. He said it was stupid. XD Not stupidly filmed, but stupidly plotted. XD Haha. I agree. But not in a bad way. I think QT was trying to be anti-climatic with the ending. With all the stuffs going on prior to that, you would've expected something more spectacular from the ending right? But he didn't serve that. That scene was really dumb. XD Not bad judgment on filming, just, ironic. I think it fitted well with the rest, as a contrast to all that QT gave you in the rest of vol 1 and vol 2. But I can also see how and why one won't think so. But, to each their own, right? ^^;

So, all in all, KB2 is an odd little film that is strangely funny, to me. However, I think, if QT was trying to be serious, then I totally fail to see it. *rolls around* :DD Hmm, Hopefully, I was being discreet enough again, to not to spoil the movie to the odd number of visiters as well.. >.>

List of movies?
- Mean Girls: I want to see it too, coz it has SNL people! But then I have a feeling I may get disappointed if I have that expectation going in. ^^;;
- Troy: Don't wanna see it, but just want to make a comment. o.bloom on the movie poster looks SOOO like a girl! XD BUT!! I so don't want to admit this, but I have to coz it's true: he also looks so *bish* in the same picture! My point? I don't have one. XD
- HP movie: see? see? I don't even know its name! Even thou it's just a window away! XD Sorry to say I have no interest in this one. ^^;;;;;

I think I've watched the movie that I want to watch for the summer, and that's KB2. So far, don't really have any other movie in mind, in terms of what I really want to watch, so we'll see. :D

Bedtime for me... nighhhttt*zip*

Sunday, May 2, 2004
Random Things. // 03:19 p.m.

1. Pepsi: I like it because I prefer it's taste over coca-cola. That doesn't necessary mean one's better than the other, just my preference based on taste. It also has to do with my mentality that pepsi is less sweet. Although, I have reasons to believe that I am completely wrong on that, based on the pepsi challenges I've tried before. But, nevertheless, and because I drink soft drinks so very very litte, as compared to what I perceive normal North Americans do, I'll just keep on thinking that pepsi IS less sweet. >D But then of course, I also know that it is most likely not. XD

2. Emma: I've re-read my favourite bits of the book a few days ago, due to lack of things to do while waiting for my mess of a compu to finish defragmenting. I didn't realize how long the ending was! And nicely wrapped up! and Happy! and Nice! :) I kept grinning and picking up little funny bits as I read. :D It made me want to put in the tape and watch the movie again. But! I was too lazy to figure out how to work the VCR, since tv equipments' been re-arranged a few times since I last watched a vid on tv. Therefore, I still haven't watched it yet. I intend to thou, soon I hope. :D I think I'll re-read P&P next when I'm bored. Coz of DARCY~~ >:P and then I'll want to "watch" Darcy again >Xd Lalala~~~ Which leads me to ---

3. Bridget Jones's Diary: Ahahaha, I've finally seen it!! *so happy~~~* "Darcy" was just like "Darcy" XP As expected. Since the character was based on him anyway. XD But! I get to see Darcy acting again! XD Yes, I'm fangirling, hence the many emo-icons. Ahh.. and then there's British accent.. *sigh* :) Hugh Grant's character was such a lousy person. I'm glad he didn't get the girl. >D Oh but I was really not used to watching the very un-flattering figure of Bridget displayed on screen thou, it reminds me of my own juggling fat on my body, which also reminds me that I've been eating too much, and SITTING too much, and in TOTAL need of exercise... >.> But anyway, it was really fun to watch. And I like it quite a lot, feels like I was watching a modern P&P set in London (I assume the story took place in London :x), only with sex, alcohol, and nudity mixed in. All the usual "modern" stuffs o.O;;; But nonetheless, I like. :) Now that I've seen the movie, I don't know whether if I should read the book anymore. I believe I should, but I'm afraid the movie's already ruined me of the ending. Hmm.. I guess we'll see.

4. Weird-ish sort-of nightmare: I dreamt that I had to fix/assemble weird --- parts (that I've never seem before! nor would've thought they were --- parts... x_x) for the volunteering thing I mentioned (not here, but karin and H should know what I mean). (The --- are purposely non-written b/c I want to be even more discreet than I already am.) In the dream, I was looking at some dusty and dirty parts and was told that's what I would be working on. And there I was, totally panicking and sweating, and dizzying. Because I have NO clue what I am supposed to do. That's where I think the dream ended. It sums up my current feelings pretty well actually. I'm scared that I won't be able (or know how) to do anything there, and would be told to not come anymore. T_T *scared scared scared* I NEED it for school! and I don't want to get booted off, so to speak. Please please please. Let me be able to stay on! *whine/beg thingy ends here* ------ Onto a slightly different note, I didn't like that I had to practically "beg" the TA to give me the volunteer. It made me feel like I had to find a way to reason myself and convince him that I'm "worthy" of the ~~job~~volunteer. -_- Part of that email correspondance is the reason why I'm feeling so jittery. H would sort-of know what I'm talking about, since I told her about what the TA ask me in the email. But *bleh* .... *think of good stuffs* I hope I'll do well on the ~~job~~V, even thou it's 9-5 and will cost me 2 tokens a day. And THANK GOODNESS no one knows of this blog's existence but you(karin) and H. (ie: I'm very very relieved, and careful! to not put this place on my resume.) God only know what the TA would think if he saw what I wrote up there..... *twitch twitch*

That's it for this post. Will talk more later~ Byee. :)

Sunday, May 2, 2004
Someone wrote it better :D // 03:11 p.m.

Yes, as the title says, I've just come across a person's rant about mailing list that voices E~~VERYTHING I don't like about MLs and then some. :D Oh the joy of knowing that someone else feels the same as I do. Makes me feel less alone :) Without further ado, here's said rant. The person prefers linking to index pages over linking to individual pages directly, so that's what I did. All who wants to read need only to go to the "Rants" section and read "List of Fandom Peeves". Hopefully this person won't mind, I don't know her, and she doesn't know me, but, yea, hope she doesn't mind. :x

Sunday, May 2, 2004
*sigh* // 03:53 a.m.

Seems it has been AGES since I logon last. I even nearly forgot my password to this place! o.O;;

But anywho, school year's done, finals over, and now I'm in the dreadful period of "waiting". Waiting for marks, for results, to see if I pass the term so I can go on to next year. Tis a sad life it is... But, I'm not here to talk about that today, I'll leave that subject until the "time" comes.

During my absence, which I'm sure no one noticed nor cared, I was, (I mean, beside studying and cramming like mad for exams -_-), I was actually overloading myself with BL mangas. :3 Well, it wasn't ALL 100% BL of courses.. but, the majority of them.. ahem.. were. :3 How I ridiculously check those BT sites and chinese bbs over and over this past month! ^_^; As a result of that, I'm finding myself slowly becoming less excited about new "english" bl scanlations releases. I mean, I still have been downloading them, but I haven't been keeping up with reading any of them. (Although, a big reason for that was because I was focusing on studying, just didn't want to distract myself with reading bl and certainly didn't want to be THINKING of bl when I was stuck in the exam! ^^;) But, yea, I find that, nowadays, I'm becoming more and more selective in what I like to see in bl. It doesn't help that a lot of the releases lately had either un-appealing art, un-appealing story, or/and un-appealing subject matters. I think I've seen too much bl lately that a story really needs to have a "story" (ie: substance) and of course, nice drawings, to make me happy. But I guess that's the same for everything I read these days, I've been like that about shoujo for a long time now.

So, my point is, I've read waaaay too much bl manga lately that not only does that spoil me to many a series, it has saturated my bl manga quest. Right now, I have a lot of un-read (chinese, and completed!) bl manga on my compu that I don't think I'll touch for awhile. Not to mention, the pain of having to organize them!! _-_

Ah.. however, even though I'm overloaded with bl manga, I was and still am in the hunt for pretty manga art! :) Well, when I say pretty, it doesn't really have to be gorgeous or anything. It's more like it has to look pleasing to my eyes. Colour colour colour colour. Very important element lately, in my hunt :3 And certain looks, poses, and lines... I'll highlight a bunch of mangas and mangakas in a later post. So far, those are the ones that I'm able to read and re-read without getting bored and ended up skipping pages on them. ^^;

This entry seems too long? or maybe not? I can't really tell. ^^; But I'm already sleepy, *eyeing the clock* so I'll leave it at here. I'll also leave a little something that I just managed to download off "a place". It's cute, and yes, supposedly bl but i'm only posting the non-bl part. (well, mostly) :3 Search this paragraph for it. Til next time. *yawn*