Monday, May 10, 2004
JEM - FINALLY WOKEN
FRANZ FERDINAND (SELF TITLED CD)


amazing cds. AMAZING.


Monday, May 10, 2004
JEM - FINALLY WOKEN
FRANZ FERDINAND (SELF TITLED CD)


amazing cd. AMAZING.


0507.04
i have succumbed to nadine's wishes. go to my deviantart account.


0425.04
state your opinion, please. more. and finally, for you.

i don't agree or disagree to any of those links, just want to read your input.


0417.04
silver is great. the time spent was better. fun as well. didn't really meet any strangers, though i attempted several times. i did meet some amazing humans there. i miss everyone.

i think socioactive criticisms toward the self pronounced majority are all the rage these days. whatever's thought positive gives birth to the trendy negative. i think it takes some serious soccer balls these days to say, "man, i really like britney spears," or something counter-counterculture like that. not only have people shunned previously accepted topics and opinions but they target what's new or loved by the masses. i'm not saying everyone shouldn't have their own opinions but in the long run, everything today declines in value tommorow, so let people do what they want and be happy that your ideas are your own and no matter the accepted decision you are entitled to personal opinion. leave them alone.

same with claims of "wow, i'm such a loner," or "god, i'm such a nerd." it's fine to say that or know that, but to proclaim so unabashedly, the title becomes more of a "man i'm so cool" declaration then humble consideration. it's often seen that when people say that, often the person explaining so also has qualms with others whom others of their group discern that denomination. we're all ourselves but when it we are ourselves and self proclaim against it so for the sake of being self mutilating, the whole obnoxiousness of it all comes into play. god, i'm such a drama queen.

i could be very hypocritcal right now, but whatever. i try to do what i say, but thing's don't always work out that way. i guess it all boils down to whether an opinion is unadulterated and pure personal ideal, or guided by the trendy negative. make an opinion, don't make five and choose whatever will provoke the desired effect of rating for the sake of self. again i don't always practice what i preach but maybe we're all just human.


0412.04
i'll be gone til' september. if september is this friday.


0407.03
spring break has been bittersweet. more time spent outside yet other then the alien and frankenstein, there has been a lack of social endeavor. but the monsters are plenty enough. i need to breathe seattle fresh air. wort of fresh, but REresh(ing).

easter's coming, time to celebrate, as a very wise man said, the death of christ and his resurrection into the form of a large bunny who distibutes colorful eggs. guess the cat(h)s can't eat meat or be happy this week. what a restrictive religion. but i guess it's only opinion.

outkast has become a monster. from artistic venture to strange sequels to previous music videos. but i guess andre can do whatever he wants. tubular.


0330.04
this old heart of mine - isley brothers
the reason - hoobastank
it's in his kiss - vonda shepard
i can't live - air supply
they - jem
alive - IMA robot
the sound of settling - deathcab for cutie
try - nelly furtado
lover i dont have to love - bright eyes
c'mon c'mon - von bondies
black hole sun - soundgarden
date with a night - the yeah yeah yeahs
crash into me - dave matthews band
smooth - santana featuring rob thomas
from this moment - shania twain
iris - goo goo dolls
didn't we almost have it all - whitney houston
pretend that we're dead - L7
i'm afraid of americans - nine inch snails and david bowie
heart of glass - blondie
immigrant song - led zeppelin
edge of seventeen - stevie nicks
girls - beastie boys

walkie talkie man - stereogram
give me one reason - tracy chapman
london calling - the clash
when the doves cry - prince
take me out - franz ferdinand
don't speak - no doubt
erika - i don't know
only happy when it rains - garbage
all i have to do is dream - roy orbinson


the entire postal service cd - "give up"M


0328.04
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me


0314.04
self-proclamation is a personal defence that creates a scenario where one judges themselves before anyone else can cast their opinion. or maybe it just helps boost one's self image. whether selfless, declarative, or neither, is self proclamation a good thing? does it delve into self absorption or is it good to have a set image of one's self before others try to wear it down?


0310.03
happy sweet sixteen, brian. man you're old. you can be my gramfather. you may have known god.. just saying.

i dreamed a dream during my nap, and in found a person who i'd go with to the freshman. the basics of the dream no longer can i grasp, but i know i spent some time with that person. it was nice.

i feel like i'm talking less to the people who really matter. but in turn i'm talking more to people i've missed. i feel like taking a step backwards and watching people and how events unfurl. it's like i don't want to be a part of anything and just notice simple situations. i also get the feeling that people don't take me seriously, like what i say is a joke. though i feel that's one of my redeeming qualities, that things don't affect me as much as it should, i think it would be appropriate if on some occasions i could be stoic. but i guess i brought it upon my self. i like the fact that i can laugh at everything and its mom, but to talk to someone about such topics that provoke emotion makes me uncomfortable.

real conversation:
ryan: i don't think i'm ever serious and when i try to be people think it's just a joke.
kristine: wait.. is that a joke?
ryan: ... yeah. [smile]
kristine: oh [laugh]

it was funny. you had to be there.

as long as i can leave a mark on this world, whether emotionally, humorously, revolutionary, or family, i'll be ok.


later} [PLUG] [PLUG] [PLUG] [PLUG] [PLUG] [PLUG] [PLUG]


0309.04
i feel so frustrated and i don't know why. i guess it's just that i feel so tired, yet there are so many people to attend to. birthdays on the tenth, seventeenth, 21st, and 22nd. i hope i didn't miss any of you. buying presents is time consuming and hard to think of. it needs to be original but cheap. much like life. i need more pens. i'm running out. i'll buy myself a birthday present.


0307.04
wouldn't you know it, it was kairi's birthday the day after mine, and today we celebrate it. she's one, and thus, her party really means nothing because she won't remember it when she's older. kind of sadistic but it's life. my first memory was locking myself in a bathroom, which was understandably traumatizing, but i've overcome it and now can reach the lock.

because school is tommorow, i can no longer stay up so late. well i can but it would leave me with grogginess and languid actions. curses starting tommorow, i'm eating breakfast first.

survey below.



What does your name mean?
First: brave(bernard) little king(ryan) Middle: it's filipino but means nothing i guess. Last: spanish, morning probably.
If you could change your name what would it be?
don't know. at least i have a name. but maybe my middle name to buenas.
Did you have an alternative baby name?
if alternative means other than what i have now it would have been JAMES.
Sex:
male.
Home:
appropriate villa in bremerton.
Height:
5'7" i think..
Hair colour and style:
black, faux hawk.
Color of eyes:
dark brown.
Did you have hair when you were a baby?
yes, hair does exist on newborn heads.
Were you a fat baby?
i wasn't fat, i was healthy.
Did you suck your fingers or sleep with a blanket?
blankie.
As a kid what scared you the most?
the dark and bugs. i'm still scared of the latter.
What was your biggest fashion no-no as a kid?
i hated overalls.
What are your hobbies?
tennis, reading, web/graphic design, writing, art, photography, thinking, food, and observing.
Croutons or Bacon Bits:
croutons
Favorite Salad Dressing:
depends, i like ranch and sometimes italian, but i like caesar on my caesar salad.
Do you drink:
ordinary non-alchoholic beverages.
Shampoo or conditioner:
are they not both necessary?
Type of car you drive now:
invisible walking car, of the flinstones variety. meaning i walk.
Most romantic thing that ever happened to you:
there have been little romantic experiences for me, and the minor occurences probably will mean nothing to me in the future.
Favorite Color(s):
green, black, silver.
Fears:
the unknown.
Straight, gay, or bi?
straight
What do you look like:
an ordinary asian guy, though i'm not tough at all, nor do i try to act tough. i'd be the one in the corner laughing at the self-proclaimed tough asian guys.
What city do you live in:
seattle
Groups you despise:
the fake, though i don't despise them but pity them.
Did you ever get fired?
i did skip volunteer and never went back, but i guess that's quitting and they never did hire me.
Boys/Girls you like?
i like the human kinds.
Do you want to get married?
yes, but for now, i guess it's only because it's expected. ask me in ten years.
When do you want to get married?
when i'm mature enough
How many kids?
enough to be proud of.
Ideal Girl/Guy:
someone who can reflect and complete me, who can talk and whom i feel comfortable with. one who i can make happy.
Are You Single?
of course
What is the one place you want to see before you die?
something that takes a lifetime to reach
Best Advice:
smile, and when something funny happens, laugh. laugh your brains out.
What do you think about ouija boards?
they only contain all of life's mysteries. like why someone would spend ten dollars for a magnifying glass and wooden board.
Favorite TV Show(s):
no favorites, but vh1 and fuse are good channels.
Favorite Band(s)
the ones that play music that makes sense to me on a denotative and connotative level. those who can articulate on a level above that of mere words. ones that display true artistic quality.
Favourite game:
life. but i guess it's more of a prank.
Favorite Sport to watch:
ribbon dancing. the ribbon's mystifying.
Favourite sound:
laughter, or the sound someone makes when they have just understood something they've been trying to piece together.
Favorite Item of Clothing:
my skin
Favorite Cartoon:
family guy
Favorite Thing About Yourself:
there is no one thing. i rock.
What's the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
where my cd was so i could play 'light and day.'
What's on the walls in your room?
an array of pictures, awards, and items of which i have promised myself i'd remove when i move downstairs.
Do your type with your fingers on the right keys?
yes
Do Drugs:
i'm high on life
Smoke Cigarette:
my lungs are corrupt with asthma already.
Drink Alcohol:
was this question already here?
Place To Vacation:
seattle. or aileen's uchi.
What Religion Are You:
liberal open-minded existentialistic agnostic.
Most Memorable Dream:
my dreams always fade away.
When Did You Get AOL:
i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate aol. shutup.
Funniest Movie:
passion of christ. i joke. how wrong of me. i guess that kind of sarcasm is too early. i'm not sure.
How Many Buddies Do You Have:
i have the whole world to make friends with
Your Toothbrush color:
lime green and white
Favorite Super Hero:
myself
Favorite smell:
pear lotion or spray. chocolate
How many rings before you answer the phone:
usually i let someone else pick it up.
Do you eat stems of broccoli:
yes. the uninformed masses do not realize that most of the flavor particles of broccoli are in the stem.
What is under your bed:
dust and carpet
What does it mean to be a true friend?
someone who can equate to you. who'll spend meaningless time with you and laugh at the stupidity of it all.
Eat/drink?
i usually do both because it helps you survive.
Mail/telephone?
mail is nice if you have time and it makes you feel special, but telephones are convienient and you can detect more emotion than writing.
Hamburger/hotdog?
neither
What Time Are You Going To Sleep Tonight:
around twelve.
What would you do if you were on a date with a cute girl/guy?
realize the stupidity of dating when one is at a highschool level.
What Do You Hug To Sleep:
pillows. bunches of bunches of pillows
Do you believe in yourself:
but of course. if not who else would?
If there are 3 wells: health, wealth, and knowledge, and you can drink from only 2 of them, which ones do you drink from?
health and knowledge for if i were healthy i'd be happy, and with knowledge and wisdom i could rule the world, and be rich.
What is the most disgusting food you have ever eaten?
rice with nacho cheese on top.
If you were making a movie about yourself, what actor/actress would play you?
they already have. it's called the lord of the rings.
What TV show or movie bests describes your life?
rocko's modern life
Do you like your handwriting?
it's usable.
What is the #1 priority in your life?
be happy and spread the joy
What is your favorite lunch meat?
i'm not partial to lunch meats.
Do you have any bad habits?
i'm just too cool for your own good.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
i would either be annoyed by me, or find myself to be an excellent aquaintance
Are you a daredevil?
not at all
Do you follow or lead?
both. i like the conviencience and lack of responsibility that comes with following, but if someone's leading us to our doom, i'll take over.
Do you pray?
not willfully
Are you trendy?
i'm myself.
What do you do to vent anger?
i write. i don't get angry easily though.
Are you passive or aggressive?
passive.
Do you always wear a seat belt?
yes. but only because i don't like flying out of a car through glass and onto pavement.
Do you feel understood most of the time?
i may like to say i'm far to complex, but in the real world no one is too hard to decipher. to understand is merely to assosiate.
Have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide?
nope.
Would you rather be hot or cold?
warm.
Did you cry when the Oklahoma City Bombing occurred?
no, but i didn't cry during 'passion of christ' either. though i did cry during 'the little princess,' and 'house of sand and fog," but not for the death during HOSAF, but for the toll it took on the emotions and psyche of ben kingsly's character.
Could you be a vegetarian?
if i could eat chicken and fish.
Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
yeah.
Who are your favorite white rappers?
i'm not down with the whole hip hop scene, sorry homie.
Have you ever given money to a bum?
why not?
What are you worried about right now?
time.
Do you think you are strong (emotionally)?
i'd like to think so.
Give one random, little unknown fact about yourself:
i'm almighty.


0306.04
i like this layout. good job ryan.

and i'm 15. i don't feel like i'm any older, just here. nothing has changed, really. i don't think anything has altered in my life except a number. i kept on forgetting my age before, it's going to take another year to remember i've progressed in number of years i'm alive.

since i'm joining track and field, kristine, keoni, mariela, and i are running the track every friday. and in case i haven't told you yet, i'm joining track and field. running has never been a skill of mine, and coupled with my asthmatic behavior, i guess i shouldmn't even join, but as the universities need well-rounded students, i'm gonna be well-rounded, dagnabit! speaking of college and such, i think i'm going to take a year off from school after i graduate. after 13 years of stress and things to learn, i don't think i need 4 or more years to stress out and learn stuff. i'm moving to seattle, gonna do what i want and live life to the fullest before the year ends and i live life secluded and grow emotionally from 18 or 19 to 50.

i guess age really matters then.
hello, my name is bernard ryan lingat diaz and i disagree.


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number 15 control freak is quite coincidental because this month i turn 15, and special because it's an aniversarry for my blog. for 2 years now. happy birthday for both of us. layout created on psp7, i need photoshop or at least psp8. oh well. created with a global dictatorship on mind. enjoy.

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