+ Old Art
+ Old Songs
+ Old Boys
+ Old News
Nades &
Jafronda &
Mary &
Nicram &
Bo Bara &
Zacharius &c.
+ Pitas
+ Haloscan
+ Et Tois ♥ !
+ 07/04 - Go Americuh!
+ 07/09 - Seattle Dinner
+ 07/12 - SubPop at Marymoor
+ 07/10-15 - MARIELA!
+ 07/26 - C. Hill Block Party
I hate new video games, however, and I've spent my summer trying to play more PS3 games since the system is just lying there, stuck with the Call of Duty my brother overplays. The only new game from the current generation of console systems on the upcoming list of games I've been playing is Smash Brothers. Even then, that's a title I include to the unmentioned list of old franchises and my dear standbys, those being games produced by the holy grail of SquareEnix (Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Warrior), Nintendo (Everything that's right in this world), Rockstar (Grand Theft Auto) and a few others (Persona, Harvest Moon Series, Castlevania, MGS, Suikoden, The Sims). Recently Atlus has been producing a lot of good games so I need to watch out for them, but I digress.
I kind of resent my PS3 since all these new games seem too showy, with alot of veneer without much soul, you know? I mean, I like graphics, but what I love is visuals that whisper rather than shout. Even when the gameplay of the current generation of console games is good, I just can't stomach the cold harshness of 3D rendering (my disinterest in finishing GTA IV and ambivalence towards MGS IV proves this). I just always prefer 2D. It's where the heart is.
See Also: The 3D-ing of Street Fighter IV (WOW that's a lot of "IV" games out this year, not to mention the DS remake of FF IV), while visually stunning, I find to be a travesty. GIMME BACK THE 2D FIGHTERS GATDANGIT!
Frankly, I just don't have enough time or energy to get emotionally invested in New Stuff. What I love, more than anything, and would drop billions of dollars for, are 2D or sidescrolling adventure games and hilariously clichéd JRPGs. If you combine them both, I go crazy.
So I've been on a FF1-5 blitz this summer, and I've learned just how much I've missed my GBA games as I play them on the DS. The GBA is my favourite system. Portable convenience and 2D graphics in a small package. If only I could fix my broken Gameboy SP. Seriously, Castelvania: Aria of Sorrow is amazing. The GBA port of A Link to the Past is a Masterpiece even as a port. Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, while no Harvest Moon 64, is better than any other Harvest Moon I've played (which isn't that hard, seeing as how the GC and PS2 versions of the game were devastatingly horrible). I'm waiting to pick up my GBA FFVI from Arabella and I'm incredibly stoked.
For future reference, here are the games I've been playing this summer (bold), games don't have but want to own (italicised), & games I own and need to resume playing (normal):
Whoa that's alot. That's alot of Final Fantasy, specifically. I'm not too much of a fanboy, I swear. That being said, OMG When Chrono Trigger DS comes out I swear I'm gonna die, I just know it.
I have a life, I swear. See last post for proof.
Best. Dance. Party. Ever.
The Capitol Block Party was just what I needed. Fleet Foxes were better than ever (plus they played a new song!), Cave Singers were good, Kimya Dawson is unbelievably adorable, Her brother thinks the girl that didn't go the Valentine's Dance with her totally blew it, I got free swag (custom painted vans, map of the Pike-Pine Triangle, hat, promotional materials, coconut popsicle, pomegranate juice, Jones soda), and I got to hang out with Nicole, Lorraine, Arabella, & Michelle.
I saw a crazy a-hundred-police-subdue-two-guys-fighting fiasco and took a picture on my cell, later billions of kids were apparently being hit with mace and I have no idea why (was it the torchlighting parade?). On a lighter note: Five dollar footlongs, Pho, and the best of all was being front stage at the Chromeo set, dancing like a fool with crazy folk who lead with their ribs. Nicole got hit by the drummer's giveaway drumstick he threw into the crowd, sadly did not get a grip on it before someone snagged it HAHA. Oh Chromeo, (OOOOOH OH!) I had no idea you had such an obsessed fanbase. I haven't danced in forever and it was just what I needed. I just wish more people came! Call us up next time since invitations are unspoken and understood between all. Let's PARTY!
Constantly listening to "Momma's Boy," "Me & My Man," "Tenderoni," and "Bonafied Lovin' (Tough Guys)." With every play it gets better and better. It doesn't hurt that the lead singer/guitarist is a total hawttie, and purely for the tunage since I don't necessarily even like beards. LAWL
Definitely as good and perhaps better than Sub Pop 20 we went to two saturdays ago. Next is Bumbershoot!
Looking forward to: Neko Case, !!!, Man Man, M. Ward, Mono in VCF, and perhaps Band of Horses. I'm not a total fan of Beck, so maybe you guys can convince me. WE COME TO GET DOWN!
EDIT:
Next time make sure Joey comes and we can do this whole "reunion" thing right. You better apply to UW.
This also means I'm ready for a long, lengthy, tl;dr rant.
The way I consider my time on this Earth, I imagine as being peaceful and warm. I don't like being angry, but when I know to be angry, I will show it. Believe you me. I hate the idea, though, that I'm contributing negative energy to the cosmos. Why do I dwell on their past mistakes? If any good has come from this, it's that this absence from few has offered me presence with so many I feel I have neglected. (Yet still not enough time with you, you Seattle UW friends who I regret not having spoken to in so long).
Sunday I spent time with the original members of Old Boy, and it was a really, really great time. We picked up right where we left off, you guys. It's great to have that. I haven't seen Misha almost as long as I haven't seen Mariela, and if you consider that you visited last summer, Mary, it's almost an entirely accurate measure.
I don't speak so much to you guys nowadays, and I feel really sad to think about it, but we have our connections (Mandrew) and through them we keep in touch, yet I always feel guilty that I've been so disproportionate in my time spent. There's never enough.
But when we're all together, or when I see you again like last Wednesday, Monz, it's a great feeling that we can talk like no time has past, that I can bore you with conversations about Design on the ferry, that you'll call and warn me about the bridge being down and if I would make it to the same ferry as you. Though there's never enough time, the best friends are those where time stops until you meet again, no? This is the ideal, for me. This is the phenomena of time being liquid rather than staid, that our time on this earth is an explosion of events that occur simultaneously and chaotically rather than cyclically and in splices.
The way I look at my life in the current context is the way I look at math I have done at any point in my life.
When things are hard, I consider myself at 8 years old, plowing through the timed addition and subtraction problems and always being the first one done. Then, when I passed all of those problems and I was given multiplication problems as well, I struggled and though I finished, it wasn't with time to spare as usual.
So things were hard then, really hard, I thought. My dad made me memorise my times tables and restricted television of all precious, precious things. I hated it, but I worked hard and plowed through and I finally was able to again be first in my class. The fact that I was good is not the point as I don't mean to boast. It's that at that moment I thought everything around me was crumbling. I lost my sense of self as "the smart kid." I struggled and I thought things couldn't get worse, you know? But that was stupid elementary school work. I laugh at it now, looking back.
So situations always seem good and bad, but in perspective, what we're going through won't be so bad as it will be in the future, and even then, we'll overcome these obstacles anyway. Why blubber when you'll laugh at these moments in an hour? In a day? Week. Month. Year. Whatever it takes.
I spent Wednesday with Nades, Kelsey, & Lorraine. I haven't spent time with The Girls in forever. It was like a breath of fresh air. Cool water after arid sun. Just lounging at Children's Park, taking in the scenery and goofing off, watching Avatar, eating peanut butter & peach jelly sandwiches, all without the pressure of feeling that you have to entertain someone. Just moving along at a leisurely pace. Liquid time, not time encumbered with specific numbers and the hours. It was time in the now and I didn't have to worry about every moment being that much more amazing than the last. I didn't worry about my enjoyment as an exponential function, rather it was more like if you could display a graph of dividing by zero. Chaos. Unknowable results, never based on previous figures.
Everyone says we have to learn from the past, yet I reject that kind of thinking: that the past dictates who you are. I think that truly it is your present being, your present perspective instead, that alters your subjective view of the past, for better or worse. It's a more realistic view, right? How often do you repeat mistakes? How often do you catch yourself being that same person that you thought you had shed? How often do you look back at your past self and cringe a little?
Memorial Plaques of so many tragedies and trials, from Slavery, Witch Burning, Japanese Internment, Genocide, 9/11 and everything in between says that we must "Never Forget," that we should learn from the past as it dictates towards the future. But truly, and I don't mean to be insensitive, WHY?
Frankly, I think this a conservative stance. It's akin to the cycle of telling others that marriage is between a Man and a Woman only and ever since it's the way it has always been done. "Always" Remember Sodom & Gomorrah, right? Why should we continually emblazon our psyches with these negative things that we can never change? Aren't these the beginnings of Liberal Guilt, a reactive, reactionary stance that doesn't ever truly push forwards?
Furthermore, this kind of thinking is conservative in the way the idea that we must learn from past mistakes has the main goal of recontextualising those mistakes, divorcing them from the present. One can always argue "but haven't we learned from this?" ESPECIALLY talking about Racism. So many people STILL think there is no more racism in this world. That we've somehow and magically become enlightened since it was our fathers who Did Not Know. I argue now that Hindsight and Foresight are constructions, that no matter the amount of data we have accumulated from the past, we do not possess this power. Rather, we can only have the power of Criticism, the kind that allows us as thinkers of the Now to question the past and work to somehow redeem it. We are a living example of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle We do not learn from the past, we create it.
So there's that, which may or may not be a bad thing necessarily. I do believe, however that the fundamental issue is that because we are taught to learn from the past, we fall prey to the idea that our past selves are not our selves today. I think that we should not and could not learn from the past because we carry it intrinsically.
Constantly dwelling on how one "learns" from the past automatically enables failure in that just how often DO we change from our past selves and live up to our past expectations? New Years Resolutions are a prime example. It allows and encourages arguments between friends and lovers concerning present moments to suddenly be attacks on one's entire character. The winner of these arguments is he or she who can bring up the most past infractions, the most shortcomings from the past, and how the other person still hasn't learned from these situations in that they repeat the same mistakes--you know, like humans.
Mistakes are often what leads to great displays of human achievement. When we overcome obstacle, is it not because we have internalised the problem and carry it as part of us? To say we learn from the past and leave the past forever untouched is impossible if one has truly "learned" anything. Although through either vision we may end up as the same person, the difference is that when you think you have learned because you alter what you were from the past, you leave your past where it stands. When you learn because you reconsider, criticise, and accept your past for what it is and swallow it, you bring it with you. It's a small distinction, you might even argue that it's the same thing, but I deeply believe there is a difference and it's all the difference in the world.
Though I promote the idea that our present outlook on life should always redefine the past, I am most certainly a hypocrite. I think to myself, so much for not falling to the trap of thinking I should learn from past mistakes, right? But that's just it. We always fall prey and victim to the idea that we can try and NOT repeat past mistakes since we have learned from them. It's the whole "Fool me once, shame on you..." argument in large scale.
I don't know about you, but the math I do now is governed by the math I've learned in the past. It builds upon itself and no matter the information and techniques I have learned in the past, all the fundamental rules and laws, and still, math is never any easier, yet harder math is informed by these base techniques which always get easier. Is it not happening all at the same time?
Laughing at the past and shrugging follows along these lines. It's not hard to be happy, I think. You just have to smile at yourself. You know how you looked in Junior High? Isn't it hilarious? How should we go about remembering to laugh at ourselves every once in a while?
I think the truly happy don't remember to have an optimistic outlook, they always have an optimistic outlook. Are you an optimistic person? Of course you are. You always have been, right? Right!
Thanks Lorraine and Nicole for an amazing evening tonight. I loved Mamma Mia even though I thought I wouldn't. It was great to lay (lie?) on the same blanket we used at Children's Park, the three of us stargazing and talking in my backyard. The last time we all saw shooting stars was Winter Break when so many more of us were lying down on Lorraine's trampoline and Julius called to tell me Pokemon Trainer was the new character in SSBB. Good times, guys.
I don't mind offering people things. In fact, I constantly worry if I'm ever being selfish and probably give more than I should. The problem is, however, that too much of this and people seem to take advantage. I never used to worry about this aspect, and frankly, I never actually even had to think about it.
When offerings don't feel good anymore, when giving doesn't fill you with gladness, that's a problem. When takings are too often pilfered and too little appreciated, that's when I have a problem. I didn't feel happy anymore to give, and that is not a situation I'm going to take silently.
I know I flew off the handle but I'm not sorry. Granted, I could have handled it better, but I hope we know your bounds now. P's and Q's are essential in everything, but better we learn late than never, capice? Who do you think you are? Have you no shame? More importantly, have I no spine to object so late?
There's no subordination in friendship. I'm not your supply chain. I won't acquiesce anymore and neither should you. What I give, I give freely and only by my own terms; when I rescind, perk your ears and listen up since something's definitely, definitely not right.
Best you remember that.
Standouts include:
// Like ThisEDIT 7/15/08: I've now included the titles to the Girl Talk track which the specific combinations appear, in bold before sample(s).
A lot of people seem to be embarrassed by the state of their bedrooms, but I actually like all to see all my things scattered everywhere. I'd rather have a cluttered mind than a mind compartmentalised and devoid of lateral thinking. I mean, how else would I be able to solve these ka-raaaaazy puzzles?
Right now, just on the queen-sized (no jokes, please) bed of mine I have my 2 sketchbooks, a moleskine, 2 mechanical pencils, 4 pens, my cell phone, wallet, notebook, 2 books for reading, my iPod, my alarm clock, my macbook & its charger plugged into one of those things you plug into the wall so you can have even more plugs (what's that called again?) that my cell phone and its own charger are plugged into as well. All that plus three pillows and a blanket that's never made up. I sleep with all that stuff, just so if the sudden inspiration strikes at 4 am (like now), I can roll over and sketch/code/listen/write to my heart's content. Then again, should something metal fall into that electrical plug thing's holes, I'm pretty sure my bed will catch on fire and I'll be consumed in the flames, but nevertheless, I like my things around me. [EDIT 5:45 AM: HAHA! I would be flaming in my queen-sized bed! LOL-ASAURUS ROFL-REX!]
Which brings me to my dilemma. I essentially have what may or may not appear like this (or any other image that shows up when you google image search "messy room") when what I would ideally want to have would be this:
How do people stay so uncluttered? What would the people in that house do for fun? Sit and talk? Fine, I guess. I see that there's a matching white ball to the left of the furnace. I guess you could play futbol or something on that platform-which-really-serves-no-purpose. It boggles the mind. It eludes me. I love my stuff. I have lots of it. I'm like a Borrower for crissakes. What with my "oh no, save that shirt button that's come loose and let's use it for a plate" mentality.
So my quasi-hoarding quirk may get in the way of my enjoying the beautiful semi-buddhist near-asceticism of modernist, minimimalist design (lyk, where would I keep my also-hypothetical wii?). First of all, I would need to finally unpack my things from college, right? Oh well.
In Other News:
Final Fantasy XII is taking over my life.
Fourth of July afternoon I spent a good few hours with Aileen watching Top Model. Gurl, I miss you. She left after a while to meet with her parents and I to meet with Kelsey, Chase, & Lorraine. Saw the finale of a neighborhood fireworks show, watched The Music Man, traveled to the Waterfront, heard an inappropriate joke about moths, went back to Lorraine's to make pancakes & watch the Olympic trials.
Excruciating day of yard work on Saturday. My arms are falling off and my wrist is killing me. Working 9 to 5 and Dolly would be proud.
Avocados & Cream Cheese Turkey Bagel Sandwiches are amazing.
Watched Untraceable and A Mighty Heart with my parents as I worked on design stuff. HAHA wow.
I spent my late afternoon reading about Herbert Bayer & El Lissitzsky on wikipedia. I bet that their beds didn't even have pillows since they could disrupt the geometric purity. Gat dang monks.
I'm really ready to finish Love in the Time of Cholera which I re-re-restarted once classes finished, yet I've reached a grand total of 12 pages in. That's at least 10 more pages than the last time I gave up on reading it. I really, really plan on finishing it before the month is over, so I can write a knowledgeable, inspiring, illuminating book review, of course.
I'm working on a redesign of this website and also a joint design+programming+cool things site for the gang.
Dinner in Seattle on Wednesday! Hit that shet UP.
