10:58 p.m. ;; June 6, 2005

foxtrot (the comicstrip) = enlightenment.

so. haven't been here in a while. misha, kelsey and i travelled to capitol hill and window shopped. film festival was only a minor note in the grandeur of expensive things you want to shoptai. among the tops are area 51, wall of sound, tofoo, ian, traveller's, that one art store and that amazing shoe store. these consumerist urges are invariably intoxicating.

here's to getting in line to the wrong movie theatre, being afraid of store clerks, high prices, low humour, running late to the ferry, and hiding your seattle map in your bagpack as you try to find out where you are. we totemo need to do this again. pine street and capitol hill are mine; next stop: belltown and queenanne.



i purchased to your wise, sage-like advice and i bought stars, set yourself on fire and i cannot think of anything more beautiful other than, perhaps, postal service. you're a genius.

i also recently bought i'm wide awake, it's morning and it's good, too. i've forgotten about cd's in general, especially with the internet. i found an old notwist cd i've been putting off for years to listen to and there's some stuff there that i wished i listened to earlier.

i need to paint something. write something, take pictures, meditate, have some philosophical conversation. actually, i've been reading some good things. got an anthology of the best nonrequired reading for 2004 and it's lifechanging. "the poor sailor", "what you eat", and "the good world" are the best stories/alternative comics so far. i'm suddenly excited.

note(s) to self:

- bring camera to school
- bring money for the copy machine
- signing yearbooks is generally overrated, or so i wish to believe.
- study your brains out. just let them dangle for a few days. like a fetal pig.

for the love of it, get these songs:

o "consequence" by the notwist
o "calendar girl" by stars (thanks mariela)
o "poison oak" by bright eyes
o "do you realize?" by the flaming lips (thanks monmon
o "climb the walls (umbrella of love)" by united state of electronica
o "faithful" by common
o "el dorado" by 50 foot wave
o "mama mia" by abba
o "sugar pill" by ambulance ltd
o "willie deadwilder" by cat power
o "the bagman's gambit" by the decemberists
o "one big holiday" by my morning jacket
o "the christmas song" by the raveonettes
o "closing time" by semisonic
o "stop being perfect" by the lovekevins
o "vincent" by don mclean
o "crown of love" by arcade fire

do it. especially the last. BTW, hey misha, where's the cd's?



08:19 p.m. ;; May 9, 05

shamelessly taken from mariela. thanks in advance, (if you're reading this, stars, set yourself on fire is bee-yuu-tee-full)

__PERSONALS__

1. Full Name: Bernard Ryan Lingat Diaz
2. Your nick name: Diaz, Bernie, Yan, Ray
3. Birthday: March 2, 1989
4. Place of Birth: Yokusuka, Japan
5. Zodiac Sign: Pisces
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Grade: Tenth
8. School: Central Kitsap High School
9. Occupation: student
10. Residence: Bremerton, WA
11. Screen Name: None, no AIM

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: Black
13. Hair Length: About an inch
16. Height: 5' 9"
17. Braces: Yes
18. Glasses: No
19. Piercings: 0
20. Tattoos: No
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty Loosey

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Bon Bon from Hawaii
23. First Award: Kindergarten Diploma
24. First Sport You Joined: Ka.Ra.Te
25. First pet: Two Rabbits, don't remember names
26. First Real Vacation: Disneyland Japan
27. First Concert: None
28. First Love: I was three, pretty insignificant. all i have is what my parents told me

___ Current Favorites___

29. Movie: Eternal Sunshine, Lost in Translation
30. TV Show: Family Guy, House, Sex and the City
31. Color: Aqua Blue, Light Grey, Bright Yellow, Orange

32. Bands: The Decemberists, M.I.A., the Raveonettes, United State of Electronica, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
33. Song: "J'ai Deux Amours" Madeleine Peyroux
36. Candy: Dark Chocolate Kit Kats
37. Sport To Play: Tennis, Ping Pong, Badminton
38. Sport To Watch: Badminton, Senior Citizen's Shuffle Board, Ping Pong
39. Brand Of Clothing: I'm completely materialistic.
40. Store: I like brands better, duh.
41. School Subject: AP World, Japanese, English
42. Animal: I'm not an animal person
43. Book: "Learning by Heart" by Joyce Sutphen, (poem)
44. Magazine: Spin, Newsweek, Psychology Today, Mind

___Currently___

49. Eating: Nothing
50. Drinking: Nothing
51. Typing: now. i. am.
52. Online?: Yes
53. Listening To: "A Moviescript Ending" Death Cab for Cutie
54. Thinking About: Seattle, Highways
55. Wanting To: Drive in the rain, or to walk with a large umbrella.
56. Watching: You, of course.
57. Wearing: Blue striped button down, orange shirt, jeans.

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: kinda. sorta expensive. they'll only rebel or become monsters.
59. Want to be Married?: maybe
60. Careers in Mind: psychologist whose mental and metaphysical insight will drive him to several manic prolific years with pen, camera, and paintbrush in hand, funded, of course, by his previous psychiatric practice and lasting til the latter efforts finally bring in the baskets full; either that or i'd like to be a movie director.

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex__

67. Cute or Sexy: ewwwwwwww, grossssss
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Elizabethan-era Holy Palmer's Kiss from Romeo and Juliette
70. Short or Tall: no matter.
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing and able to make me serious for once.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: spontaneous exterior, romantic inhibitions released when vulnerable.
73. Fatty or Skinny: in between
74. Sensitive or Loud: Loud and Sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Synonyms
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Both

___Have you ever___

78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Had Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: second hand
81. Ran Away From Home: i leave when things get heated but it's to my friend's house... across the streeet.
82. Broken a bone: yes
83. Got an X-ray: Many a time.
84. Broken Someones Heart: most likely not, maybe once when i denied an offer to dance out of fear and shyness
85. Broke Up With Someone: nope
86. Turned Someone Down: yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: no
88. Cried At School: yeah

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: ehh, deist.
90. Miracles: no, but magic is another thing.
91. Love At First sight: it's lust, dude.
92. Ghosts: no
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: yes
95. Heaven: not really
96. Hell: not really
98. Kissing on The First Date: Holy Palmer's Kiss.
99. Horoscopes: yes

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? Of course



06:39 p.m. ;; April 24, 05

my. computer. crashed.


and it's a disaster. i almost raised my arms in protest to scream at whomever was responsible [my brother], and yet. i can't get over how much this almost makes me hyperventilate. i need a brown paper bag or something. here's the most of the mostest:

all my songs
all my photos
photoshop
all my photos
homeworks, essays, I-Search
all my travel movies
all my photos. :'(


i do have some cd's but everything after that is gone. i found a cd with my best photos that i printed, but the most recent and EVERYTHING ELSE is gone. i can't believe it. vuck vuck vuck.



06:59 p.m. ;; March 29, 05

well. i hate fluorescent yellow lightbulbs. they make everything yellow, and pee-stained. i can't stand it. i'm gonna go crazy.



08:00 p.m. ;; March 12, 05

tsunami bomb, gotta volunteer for college, mang! sounds like i'm commiting myself to a potboiler, or some andy warhol simplicity. midnight to 6am, painting the food boxes RAD. i hates me some limits; subjunctive clause, interjection.



08:10 p.m. ;; March 11, 05

so, i saw the worst movie ever. love me if you dare: a work of french conceptualist trash. misha, how could you.

hee hee, someday...

yesterday was a nice reunion. i would like to say tears were involved buy sadly, nyet. saw rj, sad that he didn't have the mo hawk, and janelle. went to ridgetop and met EVERYONE. i gave flowers to brian because it was his birthday, stole those flowers from ga eun's yard because it was there, then janelle and i lounged around reslyn's house with misha til ten. my favorite coquettes; brian included. (vocab joke! haha, like the math and calculus play on words the guy from "love me if you dare" used on that girl). word of the day! on an interesting note, the masculine form is coqet.

today we were supposed to go to the ck talent show, but alas, no one wanted to go. so i went to reslyn's house where misha was still at to watch that god forsaken movie. disGASting.

carlo got an ipod! jay got an ipod! i gave brian a paper ipod! it's spreeeeaading.

so i wrote an extraordinary essay about francesca de rimini's role in the inferno as a parellalism of dante's own mental affair with beatrice. so good, they thought i plagarized. oh well, i'll take it as a compliment as nadine has suggested. i'm telling you guys, it was great; i had goosebumps when i was writing it. ravashing, dahling, ravashing.

in news that would amuse aileen, a woman in fukuoka, japan, held a deathgrip on a robber because he was trying to escape with her louis vuitton purse. apparantly, this 40-year-old woman held for dear life, even as the assailant threatened to stab her. said the woman with the grip of a beast, "I wasn’t letting him go anywhere.”

i <3:

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!
When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

coquette! catchy catchy!


somebody, somewhere, please, stop this.



10:12 p.m. ;; March 3, 05

gonna spread the hi-brau vernacular. well, aileen's gotta new blog. don't be gelid, and go! comment! DO IT. met a really liberal, lines to cross teacher. i think she hatesss me. HATES.



08:50 p.m. ;; Feb 23, 05

yay for jay! project runway is honest to betsy.

who has "if loving you is wrong, i don't wanna be right..." stuck in their heads? and "hit me baby one more time," too. catch-ay.

(i) would like reconnaissance concerning the appreciation breakfast. slap(?) into a slim jim. HAHA stop the myspace, vote fo' jay-sus



12:14 p.m. ;; Feb 21, 05

today, i'm going pantaloon shopping.

watched love actually again, i would have liked to have seen about a boy instead, but no dvd. (hint hint, monica). i've rediscovered some good songs, "bye bye baby" by bay city rollers, and "do you believe in magic" from in america. of course.

and that blaque 808 song HAHA.

tres bien.



02:58 p.m. ;; Feb 18, 05

brian rulolo:

"hmm. a pop-up."
"what's a unicorn?"


today my life is really F*%#k *Up bye now okay ummm...

Ryan Diaz:

how dry...

Jasmine Hill:

was up big dawggy dis yo gurl on the real but keep beein you because you r the bomb man. Everybody should know not to mess with Ryan cause he will shoot you. A smile.hehe. thats all i have to say about that!!



02:27 p.m. ;; Feb 17, 05

"confoundit, i'd KILL for a brownie."
"oh yeah, he's menstrual."

the sad part is, i'm not even wearing a stupid bikini (and i hardly knew ye). filling forms that talk about them, and i can't even write one word. it's an epiphany, i tell you. e-p-i-p-h-a-n-y, epiphany.

HAH. my daily horoscope was wrong today. magnet? pish-shaw.

i've know 3 aryans in my school, and paolo is so difficult.



12:48 p.m. ;; Feb 16, 05

well i was banging on a trashcan when i heard your voice and it's calling me, calling me. one heck of a little voice, too. library hermit + 2. ga eun and reslyn art here. viewing various myspace doo-dads.

horoscope l8r, ttyl.



11:53 a.m. ;; Feb 15, 05

well i'm at school, room 201, computer lab.

valentines was uneventful, but seeing the red heart-shaped balloons (a technological feat, i'm sure), made me crave chocolate. and i didn't have a single chaulky heart candy at all. i need to buy a pack now that valentine's sales are up and ready.

bill ate sam, and pictures of kids with epilepsy and down syndrome are going on brochures. heck yes.

who said that the guy from napoleon dynamite overdosed? is it true? i googled it and got nothing. please inform, if you do, i promise you some sweet jumps.



11:10 p.m. ;; Feb 13, 2005

well, i'm officially in cahoots with adobe. photoshop + me = us. it's great.

whelp. i haven't done much with this in a while. mainly because i was too lazy to get a photobucket, but now that i have, i feel glorious. angels and choirs to the max. here's the top ten things i haven't written about but i should have put down here:


10. ap world tests were as hard as trying to get china to accept foreign ideas and expidentures during the modern age (a characteristic that lives with them to this day), yet i'm happy to say i kicked subperfect butthole. on a similar note, japanese is physically ravaging me.

09. i've gone positivly nuts over astrology. better than my past attempts at augury in the form of le fortune cookie. previously they've stated:

I. "stop playing hard to get"
II. "this valentines, poetry is your muse."

08. went to alysson's birthday partay. she's a ribald one, that gal. kelsey, carlo, alysson, and monica. we should be the next breakfast club.

07. i've got a braces appointment wednesday, and i haven't been wearing the rubber bands. those accursed rubber bands.

07. we wore our youth suicide prevention t-shirts last tuesday. on one hand, they are good for club unity and spread good vibes. on the other, they are pink (a fad we've seemed to latch on to), and they are aesthetically bland. whatev.

06. my mood has been flunctuating. and that's odd.

05. how did i ever live without pita chips and jalapeno artichoke dip? it is worth dying for. i could live off of these things fuh-eva. holy vishnu.

04. movies, movies, movies. i saw saved! and it was everything i could have ever asked for. mamma mia, that's'a some-a good a'stuff. hi-larious. favorite character has got to be the jewish girl (can't remember her name). i also saw harold and kumar go to white castle, which was also enjoyable, albeit a tad iffy. ray was good, as well.

03. the story of paolo and francesca within and outside of the inferno is tragically romantic. my favorite flavor.

02. whether intentional or not, this month i read a lesson before dying, and it is very, very good. there was some allusion, plotwise, but i couldn't seem to grasp it. care to inform? i'm working on "the basic writings of nietchze" and the seawolf by jack london. i can barely read half of it though. always too busy. and by the by, reslyn needs to return my perks of being a wallflower, and aileen needs to give me back a tree grows in brooklyn.

01. i cannot, for the life of me, get myself to write anything substantial. i feel languid.


currently i'm awaiting valentines day. probably going to drown myself in eternal sunshine. glug glug.



10:29 p.m. ;; Feb 13, 05

testing, testing, gadzooks.




lover's lining
whoa, whoa, whoa, this is for youuuuuuu....

- - - - - -

i'd meant for this to be about school, but i got carried away with my new love, photoshop! i adore it. gadzooks. this was created with the afore mentioned pot of pure genius, and with photos i took. yesss. these are kids walking up the steps of CK High. by the cafateria, outdoors. where i loiter, from 2:35pm to approximatly 4:30pm, though i usually say 5:00 in casual conversation. it's a blast. if anyone wants to jump on that bandwagon, give me a holler.


- - - - - -

archives?

lover's links


aileen
monica
nadine
janelle
mariela
dara


lover's thanks


pitas
haloscan
photoshop
sony

unt, you





layout and source © RYAN D.