superOEUVRE

Thank the fire demons that the snow is finally melting. It's nice to have a White Christmas, but plenty is fine and good enough.

Last night I talked to Mariela and Monica over various instant messaging clients. I haven't spoken to the in what seems like forever. Good stuff, guys.

In a strange turn of events, I actually promptly fell asleep after talking to them. At 1:00 am I turned in, the earliest I've slept all break long. I woke up at 5:00 am without an alarm, thinking it was five in the afternoon and a familiar sort of horror possessed me. After I figured that I hadn't wasted my day, I resigned myself to a break from the PS3.

I tried really hard to get into The Autograph Man, Zadie Smith's second book since I really loved White Teeth, but it's troubled waters over rough seas for the most part. I think I can't really get into the characters, since they're so far removed from me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's hard for me to get engaged.

To remedy this, I made myself tea, but I kept using at an excuse to stop reading. I made myself three cups and realised that tea is served searing, tongue-unforgivingly hot because it's served in such small cups. I cooled a cup down with an ice cube (or five) since I couldn't take any more abuse to my tastebuds, and before I knew it, the whole thing was gone. It was so fast without the ritual of slowly testing out the heat, yelling out in an undeserved sort of surprise, then cursing myself for waiting for the boil instead of anticipating the kettle before the point of no return.

So another few cups and some bananas, then finally giving up after 3 chapters, I rummaged around my room looking at everything when I found my stack of mixtapes from junior high through high school. I loaded them up and listened to all the embarrassing and hilarious choices I made, swooning at songs I haven't heard in forever whose lyrics I still remembered. I tried digging up my old yellow Walkman, but to my parents sent it to the Philippines, so no go with Plan A for acquiring a substitute for my lost iPod. Maybe I'll buy a new one, since I really like my old mix cd's, and I miss that most of my recent collection wasn't preserved in a tangible form since the Mac's fate is Yet to Be Determined (tm).

I looked through several xkcd panels because the computer scientists have won. I liked this one and this one a lot.

I watched Mysterious Skin since I've been neglecting a second viewing for a while now. Still a little off-putting considering the storyline, but also still good. I love me some JGL.

By the time I finished all this, it was only 10:00 am, and I liked it. Seriously. That is some time-magic going on here. I still have an entire day (and sunlight! Sweet, glorious sunlight!) to waste so cheers to that. I think I'll call some folks up since the day is still fresh and the roads wet with my melted nemesis. Thank the fire demons, indeed.

HAET

I hate this time of year. I hate it. I can't stress this enough. Shorter days, oversleeping, nothing to do, time alone with my annoying thoughts, boredom, icy roads. I guess it isn't Christmas's fault it lies in the middle of things, but I guess I tend to hate it because of its placement in a string of bad days. I love New Year's though, because it means things are new, fresh, and I'll soon be preoccupied by more important things and others. Until then, I'm grumbly and none too amiable. If I could drive I'd commit myself to some volunteer work, but maybe I'd just like to tell myself that.

Add to the fact that my Mac is being a right bugger and my Persona 3 FES disc is scratched to all hell. Petty annoyances, sure, but with more agency I could work to get them at least, fixed. You know?

I did get time to spend with Aileen yesterday. Like no time has past. She's so cool. I miss the old gang so much, but what can you do? We visited 5 different video game stores yesterday in search of a replacement P3:FES, and I eventually did find one, along with Ar Tonelico used, but at $29.99, the same price as P3:FES, I didn't want to spend so much. If only my disc hadn't scratched. UGHHHH. Maybe I'll go back later. Shewt, mang. I did buy a really nice winter coat (my first heavy coat!) so I'm really glad.

Hope Nicole's doing awright and not too ronery in Seattle. Maybe I should have followed her example and taken on some Winter Break hours at work.<

Looking forward to Nades' house on Friday, so there's something good to come along. The stories I read on her blog about her cousin make me giggle and feel so happy for her. I hope she'll still be around and I can get to meet her.

Arabella wants to go to CK for the political caroling on Friday. I can't wait to see everyone and talk to Mr. West, Mrs. Fisher, and Mrs. Pendry. They were such good teachers and I hope we make them proud. None too sure about the other CK grads I'll be seeing around, but I guess it can't be helped. Shewt.

Kevin's getting his omnichord, and I'll be getting my harmonica, so maybe we'll get some actual band practise done sometime. I really want to learn "Hey Jude," so hopefully it won't be too difficult. We've been hanging out since break and his fam gave me a ride home on Friday. I hate being the one who calls though, since I feel like a nuisance, and it would be nice if I were called once in a while, but he's the only one I know who isn't too busy to visit and I really am that bored. Chase is back, though, and Kelsey's also reliantly available so I hope they don't mind their phones a-ring ting tingling once in a while.

Lorraine's in Hawaii! Gawrsh. Hope she brings me back a neon coloured key-chain like the one Reslyn got for me. Speaking of, where you at, Old Boy? Mariela, get on teh aimz!

Can't wait to see Julius and Philip perform at their break dance competition later. The weather's being a bit inclement but I ~~read on their facebooks as I stalked them~~ hear they're going no matter the conditions. I wanna see them dance really bad, but I'm not sure if I'll want to risk the conditions.

All in all, I guess the things that are coming up are good. It's not that the season does nothing for me, I guess it's all self-inflicted. Anyway, can't wait to see everyone again and to get out of this funk. It's no good to groove alone.

Let's Get It On

FINALS WEEK!

Actually, I have no finals, so the week has been spent cursing my workplace as it tethers me to campus, but I realise I wouldn't be any happier at home, seeing as the PS3 is being stupid and it's in the shop. Let me play Fallout 3 goddammit!

Essentially, the week has been spent lounging about, sleeping late, and generally hanging out with Nades. Srsly. It's like the past few weeks of her being missing in action for long stretches of time has been made up for in a span of around 5 days.

I came back on Sunday, but for the life of me I cannot remember what I did that day. What's coming back to me is hanging out with Mark and Nadine at Ian's, and the rest is a blur. Mostly, and probably I spent the rest of the night with Kevin, but it escapes me now.

On Monday, I ate at Ichiro's with Nadine and probably hung out with Kevin, but again, the rest is vague.

I guess I don't remember much because I've been reading At Swim, Two Boys by Jamie O'Neill. It's a tragic love story, but the parts which depressed me and made my heart hurt from reading was not the tragedy, but in the sweet moments shared innocently between the two lovers. The heart bursts smilingly, you know? I was depressed from reading it after a while...

BREAKING NEWS, I'm actually at work right now, my 30 minute nothing shift with Nadine, and we're both trying to piece together my week, and I forgot that, yes, most of my time was spent reading AS,TB but also playing games at Sporcle HAHA shoot. That game is a time and a memory suck. Jayzus. It comes back to me in bursts, reading, playing Sporcle, then falling asleep in Kevin's room while he's studies then waking up confused where I am and annoyed that I took a nap at all. Lame, I guess, haha. Not much use remembering it after all.

So continuing from where I left off in the previous paragraph, but essentially what happened in the novel is pretty conventional for its genre, meaning all hope of happiness is destroyed so I was left pretty cold and listless and disillusioned by the end of it. I finished reading it in the ABC rooms with Kevin, Nadine, and Karstin, then when Nadine and I took a break at Ian's Nands and Scooter John showed up randomly and it was nice seeing Nandrew since there has been a sore lack of him since the beginning of the quarter.

Everyone dispersed to study more, so I just went back to my lonely room and fell asleep. At 9:00 PM. Who does that, grandma? Shoot. I woke up at midnight when Tim walked in and he was as surprised at my behaviour as I was. We ended up talking til 4~5 in the morning and it was fun. I really like that we hardly ever see each other, since Tim's mostly over at Zack's but when we do finally end up in the room at the same time, we laugh and talk and complain and confide for hours, usually ending with him going "OKAY. God. Goodnight!" Whatever, guy, you like it.

Let's see. That was Tuesday night. On Wednesday, I travelled Downtown to explore Westlake with Nades, Motown, and Kelsey. We waited for the end of Arabella's shift then Arabella and I bought tickets to see Broken Social Scene at the Showbox SoDo, Feb 5th. Bus and a walk to Arabella's apartment, games, and therestofthispostillberesumedlatersincesomeonehasshownuptotheirshift.

At Swim, Two Boys

—Help them make a nation, if not once again, then once for all.
—What possible nation can you mean?
—Like all nations, Scrotes answered, a nation of the heart. Look about you. See Irish Ireland find out its past. Only with a past can it claim a future. Watch it on tramcars thumbing its primers. Only a language its own can speak to it truly. What does this language say? It says you are a proud and ancient people. For a nation cannot prosper without it have pride.
—Help these boys build a nation their own. Ransack the histories for clues to their past. Plunder the literatures for words they can speak. And should you encounter an ancient tribe whose customs, however dimly, cast light on their hearts, tell them that that tale; and you shall name the unspeakable names of your kind, and in that naming, in such a telling, they will falter a step in the light.

Far, far below MacMurrough heard the crowd's applause. He would never speak with Scrotes again, this he knew, and he turned to him. Was I truly your friend? he asked. I believed I loved you. But I forget, you know.
—You were. You did. You do.
So spake Scrotes, and having spoke he smoke a smile and home to raven regions lonely stole.

Things In Life

1. Finished White Teeth by Zadie Smith a while ago. Very good. The parts about immigrants' experiences I felt especially poignant. Exuberant prose. The girl can write and her enthusiasm is infectious. Shoot. I felt so connected with every character, she fleshes each out generously and doesn't hold back. The ending may be a little hurried, but with a company of players so varied and lovable despite faults, their histories so deep and rich I wanted to know them personally, like old friends, the book won me over completely. I felt especially affiliated with the lovesick Irie Jones. I finished the book feeling happy and anxiously wanting more. After finishing the book, I bought her two other novels, The Autographed Man, On Beauty, and a short story collection edited by her. I love you, Zadie Smith.

2. Kelsey and Ben's birfday's on Monday. Nicole, Kelsey, Arabella and I had an intimate get-together the night before, we counted down Kelsey's last days as a teenager and I asked her questions about her teen years, starting with when she turned 13 in junior high. I wish we caught it on camera, it was so heartwarming. The party on Monday was off the chain. Haha, so many people, so happy. Motown, Benihana, Araberra, and Matto-kun know how to party!

3. Finished When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris. I don't wanna be one of those gays who only reads David Sedaris, but since I read other things previously (and I needed something light after reading White Teeth) I treated myself to this. Very quick read, only 5 days. It started off rocky, but gradually it became more and more hilarious. I'm convinced that Sedaris' boyfriend, Hugh, is without fault.

4. I've been buying a lot of books lately. A lot.

5. I finished The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz over the weekend. 5 day read. Very good, very bittersweet, sad but uplifting. I felt so happy reading it for all the nerdy things Oscar loves because it reminds me so much of me, Nadine, Arabella, and Matt. Akira, The Watchmen, RPGs, Marvel & DC Comics, story writing and reading. Also, The parts about immigrants' experiences I felt especially poignant. I love the character Yunior. I love him. I love him.

5. Actually, I've had a collection of short stories edited by Junot Diaz, a collection which includes a short story by Zadie Smith, for a long time now, before I'd read any of their novels. I think I'm finally going to read through that because I've like all (two) authors I've read associated with that collection so far.

6. My brother was on the cover of the Kitsap Sun, cheering for CK. Congrats Nicole and Nathan!

7. Bought Crono Trigger DS on release day (yesterday). Good morning, Crono.

8. Yesterday I watched the early screening of Milk yesterday with Lorraine, Nicole, Maria, Arabella, Matt, and Nadine. The cinematography is beautiful. I love Gus Van Sant. The movie made left me sad, inspired, and determined. I was hoping that after the movie, the fully packed theatre audience would march outside and demand equal rights and start a rally in Downtown Seattle, but did not happen. Alackaday!

9. I've had Keith Sweat's "Twisted" and the entire Lauryn Hill discography stuck in my head all week. I need to find the song that goes "I'm just a nobody / Looking for somebody." It's jazzy soulful, sounds sorta like Sam Cooke, makes your heart feel heavy? Anyone? Anyone at all?

10. The reason I stay up so late these days are poor yet satisfying judgement calls.

I Love Shepard Fairey

It Seemed So Much Bigger Then

I've been sick, sick, sick. There is no end to the sick. I'm coughing like mad, blowing my nose every four minutes, one time I woke up with my eyes red from the strain of coughing. At least Tim hasn't been spending time in the dorm room recently, what with him and Zack playing cards and only playing cards, and all those other mundane things couples do.

Probably I've been so sick because 1) I'm wary of taking proper medicine, I like to think that my body won't ever fail me,and 2) I refuse to take a rest. I've been going out a lot these past couple of weeks. Last Friday I went to Chrstine C.'s party at Monsoon at Capitol Hill & her boyfriend's townhouse. I had the best eggplant ever and the townhouse was pretty. It even had wood flooring. Saturday, Northgate with Motown, Nades, and Megantaku, where I bought Silent Hill 2 and Alien Hominid. I ate pho with Tony and Sarah then went to Tim's party on Monday at Zack's apartment (Ben is a good wingman. Antiwingman?). Veterans Day on Tuesday I spent shopping with Long and Nandrew, I had a meeting with my groupmates at Nichole's apartment. I walked in the rain, singing "O Happy Day," after watching the clip from Sister Act 2 from the Girls' apartment to 7th & 45th. This last Sunday, though, Nandrew drove me and him to the International District for Dim Sum with the Northgate Girls.

We had time to spare so Andrew and I explored in his car. I can't believe the guy drives stick. I forget that most everyone I meet here can drive. Anyway, I hadn't ridden in a car in a long time, so it was cool to cruise along the streets of the International District. I remembered at this point all my family trips to Seattle, how it was always anticlimactic, always boring to the 7-year-old me, but punctuated, like an exclamation point, by the giant Hau Hau Market. When I told this to Andrew, he set off for us to drift along the International District roads and find it. Luckily it was only five minutes away from House of Hong where we were eating, but still, although the journey stunted, I felt a wash of memory drift over me.

Here is where I first tasted a sense of independence only a City can bring. My family would venture here once a month, stocking up on cheap Asian food items and products we could only find here. After a few trips and bothering my mom, I was allowed to wander the complex. I would run my fingers along the fruits my mom used to see growing and pluck from the streets in the Philippines, fruits I didn't know because they weren't apples of bananas, seen through American perspective. I played with the fake play yuan and chopsticks, I would gaze at the gigantic, monstrous monkfish, wonder why the lobsters in the tank--a ghoulish mob of grey--weren't red like the lobsters on TV.

Eventually my parents let me wander to the neighboring stores on the block. I remember wondering why Vietnamese stores were in the middle of Chinatown. I remember a store next door sold bootleg cds and laserdiscs of karaoke songs. I remember the cramped parking, the entrance to the lot on a hill. Why do I remember all these trips as being on sunny days? It's so strange to imagine my these sites of my life at two different moments--Hau Hau Market and the House of Hong being so close, perhaps not close in terms of walking distance, but close enough. Imagine the 7, 8, 9, 10-year old me staring out down the roads, seeing through building and the overpass, the restaurant where I would first have dim sum my freshman year of college. Imagine me up until Sunday, staring at the yellow and red painted pillars of the overpass, not knowing that my past lingered beyond them.

We stopped going to Hau Hau together some time during High School for me. Probably because I started to hate going anywhere with my parents. Probably because they were fed up with my complaints. I think that when they drop me off at UW, they still drive over there, pick some things up and take them home with them. I never thought about Hau Hau Market until this past weekend. I guess I miss it. I miss it the way I miss those lychee jellies that come in the little cups. Someone told me they banned them in America because someone chocked on one of the just-the-right-size-as-your-throat servings. Too bad, right?

An Historic Occasion

When we heard Stephen Colbert announce that Barack Obama was the winner last night at the Girls' Apartment around 8 o'clock last night, I was with Kevin, Nadine, Nicole, Sasha, Molly, Kelsey, Ben, Arabella, Matt, Natasha, Will, & Maria, we ate spaghetti, cupcakes, and root beer floats. We heard the audience cheering, we didn't know it was serious. We changed the channel, the nearest news station was FOX News, Sasha and I complained. He did it. He fucking did it. WE did it.

I called my parents to gloat. I called Mariela. We wondered where Lorraine was and she finally arrived with Tim to good news. Relief washed over us. We watched McCain's speech, shouted at the brown people (obviously lost on their way to Obama) who were at his rally. We waited for Obama, we cheered when we saw Oprah. What a beautiful first family we now have. It's real. It's really happening.

How good. How nice. How extraordinary. Just please don't tell me racism is "over." That's the stupidest comment you can make right now. Please.

I hugged everyone, though I did punch Kevin since hugs are a Big No Go with that one. When Lorraine arrived we even jumped as we hugged. Amazing. Amazing.

When Kevin and I were walking home, we found Brie walking up the steps to Red Square. We were walking up the Quad to North Campus around 10:00 when we heard exultant shouts and celebration. We wondered where it could be coming from when we saw a mob turn the corner from behind the Music Building and they ran toward us. They told us to come along. A guy had a unicycle. It felt so good, so justified. I shouted "Let's go!" and grabbed the reluctant Kevin's arm (how can you possibly be reluctant??) and the three of us, me, Brie, and Kevin, joined in as they congregated at Red Square. Someone had fireworks.

Everyone had signs, someone had a Barack Obama cut out, we followed them into Odegaard, the mass of us, piling in telling people to stop studying for midterms and join us. Kevin left by this point. Brie and I followed them to the George Washington Monument and a most definitely drunk guy gave a speech to complete silence. We laughed, not at him, but at how great we all felt. We all hugged and sang the Star Spangled Banner. Onwards to the Sky Bridge and Terry-Lander. I got a call from Kevin, he found Andrew and his cluster/friends and they were bussing downtown. I left the UW crowd and Brie went back to the dorms.

Frustration at the deserter aside, we took the 71 to Pike Place, we joined a crowd with a marching band playing music. Everyone was screaming "Obama!" "We Did It!" "Yes We Can!" I jumped up and down, I gave hugs to crying old women, we joked around with the people in front of the crowd, anxious to walk down 1st to Pioneer Square. The mass of us cut traffic, cars honked but not angrily, they were happy. They honked and we all cheered. A man in an Obama Jeep pulled up and everyone crowded on and cheered some more. Down 1st, past the Ferries, past the cobblestones, to Union Station.

Andrew's Cluster, the Deserter, and I took the 49 to Capitol Hill. We saw another mass of people walking down Broadway in the opposite direction. Someone shouted, recognising people, another screamed "That's my math TA!" We piled out, I expected to join to the UW kids once again, who had marched all the way from the U District and I found Jenny, she was exhausted but so overjoyed.

The group I was with wanted to eat, but I wasn't ready to simmer down yet. I got a call from Misha, she asked if I was there, and I said yes, broke off and ran down to Pine & Broadway to the Pita Pit. There was a throng of exultant Obama supporters. Bus drivers honked and smiled as we walked in their path. Misha and Reslyn told me that when they passed Republican Street, someone yelled "Republican St? I HATE Republican Street!"

When Misha and Reslyn wanted to leave, I ran back to Dick's and found my group. How can you sit down? How can you be tired? How can you... not?

We boarded a 43 and to my surprise we found Sasha, who had intended only to drop off her books at Odegaard when she saw the mass on their second tour through campus. She walked with them. I should have stayed with them too. But it was all so worth it. It was all so worth it.

I've learned that night that things can change, but at the same time, things won't ever change for gay people. But it's all still so sweet. I am solidified.

Por Yr Computer

Firefox Add-Ons

Better Gmail - Self-explanatory
Cooliris - Amazing in-browser image display
Fast Video Download - Self-explanatory
Fission 1.0 - Progess bar for page loading is just a neat visual addition
FoxyTunes - Control iTunes through Firefox and stream mp3s from sites without downloading them
Hide Unvisited
Tabs Open Relative - No more time spent going to the end of your tabs to see a tab opened all the way in the beginning
TwitterFox - Tweets on the quick

Mac Applications

Adium - Amazing chat client
AppDelete - Self-explanatory
Caffeine - No more screen dimming when using your Mac to watch movies
Desktop Curtain - Quick way to present your screen with no clutter
Fetch - SFTP Client
Firefox - Self-explanatory
iFlash - Great way to remember stuff
Last.fm - Useful songs cataloging
Quinn - Tetris!
Quicksilver - Very useful, get things done on the fly
Smultron - Coding for the web made easy for free
Thunderbird - Email client, though I haven't set mine up yet...
WikiNotes - Input your notes using a Wikipedia-like processing
xPad - Good, simple, pretty note-taking application

Are You Ready? Here We Go.