>>Friday, December 26, 2003 >> 05:42 p.m.

wow. yesterday's christmas. i woke up late as usual, and found out the elders have already finished showering money and yes. i got nothing. nothing for christmas. but i don't mind at all. christmas isn't about money and gifts anyway. ^__^

hehe. good thing my mother gave me some cash, not too much, but more than enough for me. i'd use it to buy Paint Shop Pro 8 (hasta la vista, 30-days free trial PsP8!), a couple of jude deveraux paperbacks (if i manage to find one.) and some whatnots.

and oh, i got a raging headache yesterday. my eyes bled to death by reading too much, staying in front of the pc too much, and playing FF9 and Resident Evil 3 too much. hehe. our memory cards are full, and some saved games cannot be deleted so my cousin and brother crashed to the nearby mall to buy a new one, so that i could save. i've waited until i finished RE3. drats.

damn you, you certain telecommunications company! i've downloaded legolas' wallpaper and you sent me nada! none! zero! zilch! wala! and you devoured my precious twenty pesos off my load! shit! wtf!

now today. i've found out that i've ran out of netcards, and my sister offered hers. i thought she was giving it to me but no. >_< well, everything has to be paid so i bought the card. i told her i'll give the money tomorrow. hehe.

*looks at the bishie in the lay-out* daisuke niwa, i love you, but sadly, you have to go. say hi to dark mousy for me. hehehe. *gets shot*

it's the warm and fuzzy time of the yeaarrrr~!

>>Tuesday, December 23, 2003 >> 08:28 a.m.

shit. got a violent cough. *ubo* *ubo* yesterday in the office (nag practicum ako yesterday), i was barking like an overpleghmed horse, and i think it was bugging the employees big time. +___+ Kaya mag aabsent na lang ako. syet.

my prayers to my friend's grandmother who passed away last night. if you need someone to talk to, andito lang kami.

new lay-out will be up soon. *ubo*

it took a cup of coffee...

>>Sunday, December 21, 2003 >> 10:54 p.m.

Damn. our pc screwed. something unexplainable happened. it just crashed. and won't restart. we have no options but to reboot. fuck. my fanfic draft. now i'm going to write it all again.

the mp3's!!! shit! i'm going to download them again! anyway, no use whining now. ganon talaga eh. >_<

putang ina. practicum resumes tomorrow. 56 more hours and i'm free.

at ikaw, (Nope, not you readers, ang tinutukoy ko po ay isang kakilala. ^__^) kung ayaw mo sa amin, juz say so. don't put up a pretentious front na okay ka or you're nice or what-fucking-ever. if you don't want us around, sabihin mo! duwag ka! arsehole! $#@^!*&#@

i'm afraid of myself sometimes. ^.^;;

pfft.

>>Wednesday, December 17, 2003 >> 10:49 p.m.

darn. my throat is itchy. too bad i can't scratch it.

exam week. two down, three more to go.

played a prank, helluva good to laugh.

fuck you. you know who you are. >_<

i need to review. hell, i'm too lazy.

screw you thesis. you too, report.

random thoughts amigo. off i go.

too stupid to think of a decent title

>>Thursday, December 11, 2003 >> 10:59 p.m.

its my birthday tomorrow. no longer will i be 12 years old 7 years ago, like i used to say when asked, but 20. shit. tumatanda na ko.

don't want any particular presents tomorrow... just wishing all my problems would go away. shit. kahit yan lang.

i bid my affectionate farewell to the angst-y phase of my life... goodbye, goodbye.

leaving the teenage days behind...

>>Wednesday, December 10, 2003 >> 11:06 p.m.

its hard to pretend you're happy, when in reality, you're not. fuck you sadness! why wouldn't you just let me pretend?

I'll share a poem written by Pablo Neruda. one of my faves.

Clenched Soul
by Pablo Neruda

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burn like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

*puts on a hepi face*

>>Sunday, December 7, 2003 >> 10:22 p.m.

loneliness hurts like hell. it's like bathing into flames of isolation. and me? i'm hurting like hell. as much as i'd like to build a wall made of ice to protect me from misery, i still can't, for the blaze has its own way of penetrating my defenses. zigzagging through the jagged paths of my being and finally resting its dejected self into my heart, in my mind, my soul, and in my body.

the bitterest of tears cannot wash them off, pleading eyes cannot make them go away, they can be ruthless you know? whipping you endlessly until you scream in pain, and your sane dismantling into pieces. and it will evoke a lot of negative thoughts, that will change your outlook in life. and everything will be monotonous.

my eyes are brimming with hot tears, my voice hoarse from choking a thousand and one sobs, my hope is already tarnished, my soul... jaded. shit. arguing and driving away loneliness is futile! if only i have a big eraser and expunge the very word in all the dictionaries of the world and in every language spoken, i would! if only i could avada kedavra the word, i would! if only i could kick loneliness' mighty, shit-filled, degenerating, crappy, gloomy arse i will absolutely do it! so as to end my ordeal and other people's ordeal...

and if that happens, i wouldn't buy angst anymore in the emotions department, and life... wouldn't hurt like hell.

wow, senseless! sorry for posting that... i'm just venting my frustrations... needed to do that as a release

loneliness.

>>Sunday, December 7, 2003 >> 07:44 p.m.

fuck. the angst-y gerl pic is really messing my lay-out and for some un-fuckin-known reason, the links are damned broken. cccrrraaaappptacular! wtf!!! *swear in the air* pucha! syet!!!

Huff! huff! heave-ho!

i'll just post some offline entries... mebbe later. shit man, that image ruined my day. yadda! yadda! yadda!

sheessssshh!!!! *gnashes her teeth in frustration*

>>Sunday, December 7, 2003 >> 07:42 p.m.

Listening to: Cup of Coffee by Garbage

Alert! ALert! Overused intro up ahead!

*dragged by a pack of cybernetically enhanced frogs to type yet another senseless entry*

puta. ang bagal ng net connection. at mukhang ma iinternet deprived pa yata ako. sucks to know that i only got a few minutes left! wala na kong card! syet. dapat nga pala manonood kami ng the grudge ng aking sister at cousin pero hindi na natuloy. sabi nung younger sis ko next week na lang, kase papunta na sya sa uplb ngayon. okay. next week. but i'll Be dragging my friends na manood tomorrow after practicum. bwahahaha! *evil cackle*

the artistic image thingie from quizilla is ruining my lay-out. pero ok lang, ganda ng image. angst-y expression nung anime gerl.

finally, pumayag na ang aking mama na bilhin yung muses of the snow!!! *jumps hepily* thassit fer now and i'm off for a round of gobstones with my best bud harry potter!(good grief.)

damn it.

>>Friday, December 5, 2003 >> 01:26 a.m.

i can't frekkin' sleep!

cheerdance competition today. i'm fidgety. extremely nervous. can't sleep. damn you coffee. *random thoughts*

and because of nervousness, i dunno what to type in. *sigh* my chain of thoughts drifted away. my mistake. and syet. i keep on typing the wrong words... keep on pressing the backspace button! hay. anyways, wish us luck.

party people, party people.

>>Thursday, November 27, 2003 >> 11:42 p.m.

gallopin' gargoyles. my friggin back aches. i'm itching to slap it with good old salonpas to diminish the pain. but darn it. masyado nang gabi para pumunta sa drugstore at bumili.

i'm downloading a couple of mp3's right now, since i've got no extra cash to buy some cd's. hehe. anyhoosh, i'm still cajoling my mom to give me money to buy the tps - muses of the snow. *sigh*

back to downloads... hwat? 18 hours, 30 minutes and 17 seconds to download a single frekkin' song? *puts herself on a slow rocket to jupiter* that's bullshit....

*realization hits may together with heaps of rotting tomatoes*

hehe, as if naman napakabilis ng internet connection ko no?

topic jump! poem! tula!!! entitled reminiscence... by may. *yehey!!!*

a zephyr of nostalgia embraced my senses
begging me to recall everything...
for my life revolves in your orb of existence
and so...
i ran into the dancing field
of white freesias...
which reminds me of your skin
bathe into the waters of the bluest sea
that reminds me of your oceanic eyes.
let the jagged rays of sunshine rest on my face
it reminds me of your touch
gazed at the silvery stars twinkling in the blanket of night
that is parallel to your smile.
but naught can bring you back.
liquid jewels brimming...
welling in the corner
of my dark eyes
as your footsteps
softly fainted
and your shadow
slowly faded
i knelt as if in atonement
pleading you to come back
but hurt insufferable ravaged my spirit
and i remember the day when you left...
i cast a forlorn glance on your retreating back.
and it made me choke.

hehe pretty sad ne? i don't know why i am so into poems dealing with misery, dejection and the downfalls of love. *corny* hehe, oo nga pala, kailangan ko nang i update ang nag-iisang draco/hermione fanfic ko... 3 months of hiatus... tsk. tang-inang writer's block. (woot. swearing.) sheesh.

nyah. i'm out. *takbo*

draco hermione fan ako forever!!!

>>Monday, November 24, 2003 >> 10:38 p.m.

*yawn*

darn it when i can't sleep even tho i really wanted to doze-off. *curse*

anyhoosh. today's an okay day. passed my histology exam to my sheer delight...

listened to the "lively" and extremely "interesting" lecture of my histo prof. *sarcasm*

and hell yeah. Mr. Suave (the movie) was having their promotion thingie outside our school. craptacular. their sound system kept on booming hepi songs, like lagot ka! susumbong kita and the spaghetti song. syet.

damn. too lazy to type. must end this shit.

my name is golgi. and i am an apparatus. ergo i conclude, i am a golgi apparatus. yay.

>>Saturday, November 22, 2003 >> 10:05 p.m.

saw "little secrets" in hbo hours ago, and yes, it was very good. the story is about a girl named emily, a secret keeper (uh, well, she got paid for keeping some kids' little secrets) and also, a very talented violinist. and then she met philip, whom she called fill-it-up. (she thought philip said fill-it-up when she asked for his name. blame the accent.) philip broke a very expensive figurine and paid emily 50 cents to keep his little secret. he then becomes emily's pal coz he inadvertently discovered one of emily's secret. (notice all the "secrets" flowing in my entry? argh. redundancy.) they became close, and i think philip developed a little crush on her. owing to this, he took piano lessons immediately, coz emily told him she wouldn't mind having a crush on him if he was a pianist. they exchanged secrets and that's where the conflict enters. hehe. emily likes philips' brother, played by david gallagher... hayy. what a nice movie... tho a bit schmaltzy, little secrets is definitely one of my favorites. it ignited the musical side of me. eversince i was a kid, i really wanted to play the piano or the violin. unfortch, i wasn't able to take such lessons. hay. if only i could turn back time... *sigh*

anycrap, saw maksim in myx presents! and man... gawrsh... lurve the accent. the heavy, manly accent. rawrrr. he's the man. he stones my world... (di ba dapat rocks??? hehehe!) i just love it when he bangs his fingers on the piano! ^_______~

i should be reviewing for my exam tomorrow. *grabs her copyright-infringing, photocopied notes on histology* goodbye, goodbye.

PAHABOLLLLLLLL!!!! yay!!!!!! 2 of my poems were published in the poet sanctuary's book - muses of the snoWWWWWWWWWW!!!! oh yeahhh!!!! i'm so happy! hepi hepi hepi!!!!!!!! *jumps up and down* i was checking my e-mail at nag e-mail sa akin yung webmaster ng tps telling my poems were published!!!! holy guacamole!!!! ang saya saya ko!!!! problema lang, wala akong dollars para bilhin yung libro, dahil available lang sya internationally. pero whadahell! i'm so happy!!! thank you Lord for everything! thank you so much! oh my, i'm so overwhelmed!!! ^______^

at isa na nga pala akong certified bishie rapist! nyaha! >:9

i rape bishies! arrr

tang ina!!!! cramming!!!

>>Friday, November 21, 2003 >> 08:04 p.m.

sheesh. what is wrong with you pitas? *hits pitas with a bamboo sword* andami dami ko na naitype saka ka pa nag crash! bwiset!

anycrap, got a weird dream last night. really weird. x__x i was in this uber strange place then after a few absurd scenes, i was transported into another place and as a finale, i was having fun, hand in hand with one of the starstruck survivors christian esteban. nyah. when i woke up, i chained everything that happened, (inaalala ko kung meh mga numbers na involved pata matayaan sa lotto, nyaha! XD) pero wala talagang koneksyon ke christian. hehe. naalala ko tuloy. ang panaginip ay produkto ng ating unconscious mind... mebbe i was thinking of him unconsciously kaya ko sya napanaginipan! Nyahh!!! shoo! go way you stupid thought!!!!

bad trip. bullfrog talaga

>>Tuesday, November 18, 2003 >> 08:46 p.m.

new links: hells_angel and foxy!!! yehey!!! ^__^

i still hafta review for the recitation and quiz for human ana physio. damn the subject. damn the lec prof even more. *curse* *curse*

hehe practicums. i really haven't talked about it here in kud...

well, issokay. our bosses are the nicest people on earth, but the irony of it all, their subordinates... those who are assigned in the files or the clerks, are not exactly the loveliest of human beings i've had the misfortune to meet. bilang mga practicumers, (tama ba ang term?) partikular na naka-assign sa amin ay ang mga progress reports tungkol sa mga research na ikino-conduct ng mga biologists, dahil syempre, kami ay mga biology students. ewan ko lang kung ano ang problema nung dalawang babaeng empleyado doon kung bakit lagi nilang binabangga ang table namin, at laging sinasangga ang mga upuan namin. bullfrog talaga oo. pag gini-greet namin ng good moring or good afternoon, ni hindi ngumiti, pag ngumiti, ngiting chihuahua pa! wala naman kaming ipinapakitang masama sa kanila! insecure siguro. NYAHA!

now lets talk about starstruck. pretty entertaining. chock-full of beautiful but cocky and arrogant people. how's that for future tv stars?

can't stop addicted to the shindig!

>>Monday, November 17, 2003 >> 10:22 p.m.

today was... okay.

first quiz namin sa human anatomy and it went well. ang hindi lang okay ay yung mapang-lait na doktor na nagkataong naging propesor namin sa lecture part ng human ana physio. tsk. tsk. napakababa talaga ng tingin sa amin ng doktor na yun. hina daw ng foundation namin sa cell bio. disappointed ang engot, so to speak. alam naman namin yung mga tanong nya eh, kaya lang hindi makapasa-pasa sa standards nya yung mga sagot namin! at eto pa! nanglait pa!

dr. *bleep*: eto na nga lang si *bleep* ang parati kong tatawagin pag recitation... (referring to my classmate na candidate for cum laude) sya lang naman ang bobo dito eh!

putang ina! putang ama pa! (sorry for swearing) bakit? nakakasagot naman kami ah! at sabi pa nung propesora namin sa educ, verbal abuse na daw na maituturing ang pagsasabi ng bobo. eh ang dating sa amin nun, yung classmate ko ang matalino, kaming lahat, bobo. sheat!!!

okay, enough. topic jump, i've got a new lay-out and it's from kishuku! got ze link from sakura riu! thanks! ^_^ ehe, and yeah, papalabas mamaya yung tailor of panama... andun yung aking forever crush na si daniel radcliffe, aka harry pottah! i mean potter!

hehe... prisoner of Azkaban pics... featuring my hunnie bunnie tom felton aka draco! click here! courtesy of The Leaky Cauldron!

blah blah