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MY MOOD:
NAME: Call me what you want, just don't call me late for supper!
PEOPLE CALL ME: Kiri
I AM: 19, A Student, an employee, a daughter, and a nut
I LIKE: Chocolate, Taco Bell, Mercedes Lackey books, Fantasy books in general, RPing, LOTR, and boys
I DON'T LIKE: My job, long boring days, Math, and living so far away from all of my friends
REACH ME AT:
Kiri
Old Jokes: The Archives
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Monday, July 7, 2003
12:07 p.m.
So I got a How To Draw Manga book yesterday, in hopes of becoming self taught in how to draw. And I get home and can't find my sketch book. Go figure. Or a pencil. Oi. Oh well, I get paid on wednesday so I'll go and get new ones on thursday.
Finally! I shall get some of these characters I have out of my head and onto paper. Woohoo! (I hope)
Continuing on, the blue is fading out, but oh well. And something in me doesn't particularly want to go to work today, but it must be done. I just hope we're not overly busy. I'm not sure if my voice can take it. Meh. Or my mind. They started me on a new program on saturday and I hardly made any sales at all. It was a bad day. Just... bad.
And that's all for now. Bai!
Sunday, July 6, 2003
01:49 p.m.
Talking to Shawn's dad is like Glue...
The more you sit there, the more you're stuck.
That's all. You may go back to your regularly scheduled lives.
Thursday, July 3, 2003
07:19 p.m.
Ok, so I've come to a desision: I'm going to seek professional help. Counciling. I'm going to go see a Shrink... or my Pastor. Because I can't keep letting this thing poison my life.
Special thanks to Jo for smacking me upside the head, nice and hard.
Sidenote: I now have my nose pierced. Special thanks for Smitty for poking me.
Thursday, July 3, 2003
12:31 a.m.
Suddenly, memory flashes. Memory of unspeakable pain, tearing at my heart as my body reacts to those words, those horrible horrible words, in the only way possible, and yet still not enough: I scream and cry, sobbing as I have never sobbed before. I shy away from the comforting embraces of my family and friends, unable to calm myself or make myself believe that it was true, though I could not deny what my heart and soul knew was fact.
This happened almost a year ago. Most peple that are reading know what I'm talking about.
And I still feel like I should have been able to do something. My mind knows that there was nothing I could have done, but my heart isn't so wise and continually denies that fact. It keeps on telling me that I should have been able to do something, to stop it somehow.
And I have this disgusting thirst for blood an violence. For retribution. As though enough is not being done, and will not be done unless I take it into my own hands. Because Justice is a platitude. A band-aide on the concience of America. There is no such thing as Justice. It. Does. Not. Exist.
Perhaps this is why I have a sudden desire to "modify" my body through the avenues of piercings and tattoos. Because it's something I can do, and even though it doesn't really help, for at least a little bit I can get myself thinking just a little bit clearer.
But it doesn't last. It never lasts. I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. The anger, the depression, the distinct feeling that I should have been able to help, the helplessness. The fact that I do not even know what is going on inside of my own mind anymore because of everything clouding it. The guilt.
God, the guilt.
And the thing is, on an intellectual level I know that there is no reason for me to feel this way. But emotions don't exactly react well to intellect, do they?
God, I need counciling... No, that's to light of a word: I need to see a shrink. Big time.
Wednesday, July 2, 2003
12:10 a.m.
Dagger, your timing is awful too. You signed off like 5 minutes before I got back. Erg!
For tonight's little bit of randomness:
I have blue hair. I look like an Anime Character. In my circle of friends, that is a career goal.
End
Tuesday, July 1, 2003
08:34 p.m.
I WUV AMBER!!! She helped me find these new colors and title and stuff. And while the title Starfire Emporium reminds me vaguely of the name of the local adult book store, I do kinda like it.
In other news: I have Pocky! Legitimately stolen from Amber when I was at her house today. I'm glad she's back. I missed my Amber. ::Snuggles Amber plushie::
Kadin is a Bishie! There's pictures of him at Elfwood, drawn by my very talented friend, Kitty. I shall get a link up soon. For you must all see my Bishie. He might even get on the Biscuit Tour! YAY! I have a bishie!
And a note to Dagger, in case I don't get to talk to you today: ::GLOMP!!:: Thank you! I love it!
To explain: Dagger made me a pretty fairy necklace, given to me by Amber when she got in from the airport yesterday. I shall wear it always!
Oh yeah, and I have blue hair. Seriously. Blue. Blue. Hair. My hair. Blue. Not a wig. My very own hair is blue.
Blue.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
05:32 p.m.
Which X2 Character Are You?
that works. Thanks to Rick for the link to the quizzie!
Thursday, June 26, 2003
05:20 p.m.
Man, I'm going to lay off the afternoon naps. I dream too much and they're getting freaky. No more naps. I'll live off 5 hours of sleep a night if I have to.
Bad, bad dreamings. And I'm getting a little freaked at what can go on inside my own mind.
Moving on, because I need to forget about freaking dreams, I like my new job. Ish very fun. And my commission is freaking awesome. Plus I get paid every week, so it's all to the good.
In other news, I need to get poked. I'm thinking my nose. And these are my reasons: A ton of people I talked to (myself included) think I'd look mega good with my nose pierced; If I got my eyebrow pierced my glasses would clink against it whenever I put them on and that would bug the hell outa me; If I got my tongue pierced I wouldn't be able to talk for a while which would be bad for work; and finally, had to let my belly button close up and I need to be poked!
By that same token, I also need another tattoo...
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
12:00 a.m.
Ok, I'd better confess if I don't want to end up in purgatory. I got drunk last night. It was not fun. At all. Never going to do it again. End of story. No one yell at me.
Why do I get the feeling none of you believe me? Oh well, believe me, getting drunk is not as fun as people say it is. It's messy, embaressing, and you wake up hungover and not remembering half of what you did while you were drunk. It's not worth it. At all. Don't do it. EVER!
We shall call this episode in my life "The Great Experiment". The sole purpose was to find out what I was like when I'm drunk, since I never had been before. Frankly, I'm loud, obnoxious, and act like a three year old. Not that different from how I really am, but minus the control that I usually have.
So, it's done, it's over, we've gotten our results, lets move on, shall we?
For those of you not satisfied that I'm not going to get drunk ever again:
I solemnly promise, on my honor, pride, dignity, and all that is sacred and holy, that I will not get drunk ever again. This is a promise, engraved on my heart and soul, written to be read and understood by the masses that I, Christina ******, will not get drunk again.
I'll even get a tattoo if someone really wants me to. A shot glass or something overlaid with one of those barring symbols. Hell, I might do that anyway.
Maybe not, but anyway. To sum this all up: Got drunk, hated it more than I've ever hated anything, will not do it again, ever. End of Story.
And yet, someone is still gonna be kicking my ass, I know it. I don't know who (actually, I might), but someone is gonna hurt me for this, even though I know it was a mistake. Oi.
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
10:27 a.m.
Alrighty, then. Just got back from the big family reunion weekend at Mahoney. Tres fun. Jo went with us and it was all good. Got a sunburn, and that's not so good, but in two days it'll fade to a tan, so that is good.
And my new swimsuit works wonderfully.
In other news, I started at Dial America yesterday evening for training. Finish training tonight, and then, it's off to the phones! I like it there. It's very nice. We had fun, if you can believe it.
And Now I'm hungry, so I'ma gonna go and get food. TTFN
K
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MY FRIENDS ARE:
Amber
Dagger
Jooky
Rick
Ammy
I ENJOY GOING TO:
Tomato Nation
LOTR
Realm of Al
Yahoo
Omaha.com
MY LANDLORD:
Pitas
I AM ENSLAVED BY:
Dial America
MY FAVORITE AUTHORS ARE:
Andre Norton
Mercedes Lackey
Tamora Pierce
Piers Anthony
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