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Past Ramblings
Ancient History
Summer 2002
In The Past
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'I see stupid people... they're everywhere... they walk around like everyone else... they don't even know that they're dumb!'
hahaha
LIKES:
Laughing & Singing.
I LOVE singing. I'm in the mood for karaoke...
DISLIKES:
Assumptions. HATE Assumptions. HATE HATE HATE.
WANTING: Understanding... Trying to reach out.
NEEDING:
Fun! ;)
REALIZING: I should take better care of myself.
THINKING: I ROCK!!! ;)
WONDERING: In awe.
GRR-ISH ABOUT:
Empty promises.
LOOKING FORWARD TO:
The day it all comes together.
NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO:
Waiting.
HOPING:
For divine intervention.
WISHING:
For my dreams to come true.
MOVIE:
Breakfast at Tiffany's.
SONGS:
Running - No Doubt
Not A Day Goes By - Lonestar
That Thing You Do - The Wonders
Joy To The World - Three Dog Night
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
Picture - Sheryl Crow & Kid Rock
Til I Hear It From You - Gin Blossoms
Whole Again - Atomic Kitten
I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan
In This Life - Chantal Kreviazuk
Strong Enough - Sheryl Crow
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack
Bulletproof - Blue Rodeo
Save Yourself - Sense Field
Always You - Sophie Zelmani
I'm A Fool - Letters to Cleo
Jitterbug - Wham!
Come On Eileen - Save Ferris
FEELING:
(Click for details...)
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Alright Elly, time for that girls night...
Break out the movies baby... :p
Friday, April 25, 2003 01:51 a.m.
One day he goes and takes a glimpse in the mirror,
But he doesn't recognize his own face...
Dreams are hopeless aspirations
In hopes of comin' true
Believe in yourself
The rest is up to me and you.
Friday, April 25, 2003 01:25 a.m.
Thinking about you makes me smile... :)
Saturday, April 19, 2003 02:16 a.m.
Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees...
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart...
Wednesday, April 16, 2003 11:51 a.m.
Honestly Kristin, how could you have been so stupid?? You should have known... it was glaringly in your face-obvious from the time you sat down... but you always give the benefit of the doubt... you are too nice...
You know you're better than that. You have more self-respect than that. You are a freaking awesome person... and you don't need anyone else to tell you that...
And hey, if the only person I feel I can trust right now is me, than that's the way it'll be.
I'm strong now... I don't need this anymore... now after $ 80 total for the evening... at least I know that for sure.
Sunday, April 13, 2003 06:34 a.m.
Not a day goes by...
Saturday, April 12, 2003 10:37 a.m.
Man... I had a good time tonight! YEAH for getting hammered on a Tuesday night! I had such a great time out with Lisa, Allison & Alison. Such a blast... I can't wait til we do it again... (We're going to have everyone out on Thurs. or Fri. with Janis and everyone too.) But man, we had some great talks tonight... it got a little harder as we kept throwin' back the drinks... I can't remember for sure how many I had... 4 I think (ooh, the waitress is coming... better suck this one back quick :p)... doesn't take me a lot. Too bad they had to go home to their kids... (geez *rolls eyes* :p)... we couldn't all come in hung over tomorrow. :P Lots of fun though... even though it wasn't under the greatest circumstances we were getting together... (and Deb had to leave early...) but we have so much fun together. Such a blast.
Tuesday, April 8, 2003 09:46 p.m.
Well, I'm back... and I'm glad I did it. It was good for me.
Now all this stuff that is happening after... I feel bad... I think I'm doing the right thing... everyone seems to think I should go for it... but it's much more complicated than that... and I'm not sure I'd want to anyways. I mean, it's nice and all, but I'm elsewhere. But I did have a good conversation about it with Alison M.& Lisa at work.
Either way... this has definetly made me feel better about myself. Anyway... must get ready for work.
Tuesday, April 8, 2003 06:23 a.m.
I have so many words all deep down inside of me... packaged up in fine brown paper and held together firmly with string tied into a bow... like un-sent letters... or un-opened ones, waiting to be read... and the end of the string is dangling out there, just waiting to be pulled gently and unraveled... letting all the words loose.... setting them free from their confinemnt...
Sunday, March 30, 2003 02:38 a.m.
So... here I am. This past little while has been crazy.
Work is cool... I'm now the official head of my very own section. ;) Oh yeah! :p Stuff is all pretty good (for the most part...) there.
Went shopping the other night in Kitchener and got a bunch of stuff... 2 pairs of pants from Jacob, a tank top from Dynamite... and a pair of pants and a tank top from American Eagle...
Elly & I went shopping last night downtown... and I got another cool pair of pants from Gruv... and she tried on an AWESOME dress... that looks SOOO good on her... which she has on hold. :p I wish that shirt at the Green Room wasn't $ 134... it's nice... but not that nice. :p
Got some very nice new nailpolish too. Tres chic. :p
Then we met Dulcie and went to Bentley's for dinner... which was cool... smokey... but cool.
Anyway, have to go get in the shower... going out soon...
Saturday, March 29, 2003 05:24 p.m.
:)
Saturday, March 22, 2003 05:58 p.m.
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above
I am invincible
As long as I'm alive
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003 07:01 p.m.
So... long day at work... and oh my God was it an awesome day out. Ohhhhhhh I love this weather... I was actually really hot when I went uptown on my break.
Was training people tonight... which was actually pretty fun... even though I did get the two boys who don't know how to focus. :p I like a challenge. ;) I enjoyed it. Lisa said I did a really good job. :) Yeah!
Tuesday, March 18, 2003 12:20 a.m.
Have Unchained Melody in my head... :p
Sunday, March 16, 2003 02:50 a.m.
I feel like I am a shell full of so much stuff all compressed inside... and I hate this so much... I am going to explode!!! I hate being shoved back like this... I hate not being able to say what I have to say. I need to let this all out. This is all so crazy. Really... I just want to set it all free. All this oppression of thoughts and feelings makes no sense.
Saturday, March 15, 2003 03:40 p.m.
feel like big ginormous loser...
Tuesday, March 11, 2003 02:13 p.m.
Woo-hoo!!! I actually got off my ass today and worked out!! Yeah me!!!!!
Sunday, March 9, 2003 11:02 a.m.
Wow, they really aren't kidding when they say it's going to be hard.
Sunday, March 2, 2003 02:14 p.m.
Stupid fucking weather. Dammit... I was supposed to go out tonight!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What happened to spring being just around the corner eh??... Ya dumb groundhog!!
Think I'll go call Laurel and then see if there are any good movies on tv tonight.
Saturday, February 22, 2003 06:40 p.m.
Slept in til 12 today (Friday). Mmmm. :p
Went in to Stratford & went to Bentley's with Dulcie and hung out at her place... had fun talking with her and Elly. :p Oh man that was a good laugh... he he... "it reminds me of my childhood" hahaha... siiiigh....
Must remember to call Agent L tomorrow...
Well, off to my boudoir...
Saturday, February 22, 2003 01:50 a.m.
I had to ask.............
Tuesday, February 11, 2003 12:43 a.m.
Everything just keeps getting worse and worse... I'm sitting here literally shaking... struggling to keep myself together while I take care of my Mom... and one thing after another just keeps building up on top. More shit has gone down in this past month than in my entire fucking life... phone call today... Mom needs a third surgery now... she hasn't even recovered from the second one... what the hell's next??
Monday, February 10, 2003 05:39 p.m.
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do I believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me
For sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side for evermore
That's what friends are for
Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so, by the way, I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me
For sure
That's what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I'll be on your side for evermore
That's what friends are for
Saturday, February 8, 2003 11:51 a.m.
This feeling is like nothing else. Nothing...
Friday, February 7, 2003 06:41 p.m.
Well... if all else fails, I can run off with Rick, the CANPAR guy... Yes! heh heh heh... I'm his "sweetheart"...
Thursday, February 6, 2003 08:42 p.m.
The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common...
Sunday, February 2, 2003 10:01 a.m.
The Space Between
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...
Thursday, January 30, 2003 06:05 p.m.
So much for bad things only coming in threes.............
Sunday, January 26, 2003 04:11 p.m.
Why can't I be asleep? Every waking moment is agony...
Monday, January 13, 2003 10:33 p.m.
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Family&Co.
Manhattan Toy
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Nathan's Pita
Elly's Pita
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
-Martin Luther
Tell me one more time again
Just like I didn't hear you
Like I don't know what's going through your mind, I do
I play the same game too
I know it's hard to stop
Even when you want to
Now the moon lights up your face
And I can see you're crying
You never liked me to see you cry, it's true
I've done some crying too
The hardest part about it
Is trying to hide it from you
It must be great to be so strong
Never needed anybody's help to carry on
But we're so scared of the silence and the tricks that we use
We're careful and we're cunning, but we're easily bruised
I don't want to lie about it
I'm not bulletproof
Well I finally found the way
To hide from all your glances
Til the waiting game we play is through
I can, but what's the use
When all I really want to do is hide out with you
It would be great to be so strong
You never needed anybody's help to get along
We're so scared of the silence and the language that we use
Yeah we're careful and we're cunning, but we're easily bruised
I don't want to kid about it
I'm not bulletproof
Tell me one more time again
I guess I didn't hear you
I don't know all the secrets that you keep inside
I tried the same thing too
But they all come pouring out of me when I'm talking to you
It must be great to be so strong
You never needed anybody else's help to carry on
But I'm not waking up each morning with forgiveness I can use
No I'm careless, and I'm cruel, but I'm still easily bruised
I'm so tired of lying about it
I'm not bulletproof
No, and I'm not going to lie about it
I'm not bulletproof
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