So. Atropos 36 is up on CLAMPesque, and you'd all better appreciate it because my computer crashed twice while I tried to post it and it took me, all told, a half an hour to get it up. And I have to be up early tomorrow morning, so um, yeah.

My ironic note for the day: I drive five days and two thousand miles across the country, and avoid at least a dozen speed traps, only to get pulled over by a cop for speeding today as I drove home from Karasu's house. Just figures. Fortunately, the cop, (who is by the way my new hero) did not give me a ticket. Probably because I was obviously very tired and just hadn't been paying attention to how fast I was going. And well, I've only gotten one ticket ever. So, go me.

I wanted to work on Falling today but didn't get the chance, because there were boxes everywhere in my room and if I hadn't sorted them out and cleared space I would have lost my mind. Tomorrow I'm going to Six Flags, Sunday I'm going to the beach, but after that I should be free to write my little brains out. Yeah. I think I need to go to bed.

...Watari last kicked ass at 03:16 a.m....
...Friday, August 16...

Well. I'm back.

The trip was... well.... an awful pit of awfulness. I don't want to talk about it.

In other news, there will be new stuff tomorrow. Atropos bits and a new layout and maybe, if I work my arse off, some of the Yamific.

And now, I'm going to go collapse.

...Watari last kicked ass at 12:35 a.m....
...Thursday, August 15...

with sweet freedom almost in sight...

We leave tomorrow at nine thirty. Presumably. Cat and Karasu are both traditionally the last minute queens. So if we leave the house by ten, I'll be pretty impressed. But I told them that *I* was leaving at nine thirty, with or without them. So I have to be up at eight. Yech.

Things I've learned this summer...

(1) I love my parents dearly.
(2) I can't bloody stand them.
(3) Never compromise friendship, not even (or especially) for emotional blackmail.
(4) You can't possibly value vacations enough. I know because I didn't get one. I just got a change of scenery.
(5) Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy all the things that I want which will make me a great deal happier. In short, money can buy contentment.
(6) There's nothing better than being worshipped. Not to sound conceited or anything.
(7) The online search for the cheapest hotel really *can* save you money.
(8) I really can't stand my parents.
(9) Having the most comfortable bed means that people will be coming into your room and flopping down on it at random intervals, and then refusing to leave.
(10) and perhaps most importantly, when shipping cross country, US Mail is way cheaper than UPS.

Right. I'll be home on Wednesday the fourteenth, probably will put up at least a brief blog entry saying that I'm home. Then I'll have a detailed account of our *cough* excursion.

PS: I didn't get a chance to answer my email, so anyone waiting for something from me, gomen ne!! I'll send it all as soon as I get back. I hope. Or at least I'll try!

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:52 p.m....
...Friday, August 9...

Well, I've been a busy bee. I'm all packed to go to the post office tomorrow and mail most of my stuff back home, and mostly packed to leave Saturday morning. Yikes, seems so soon, whereas a week ago it couldn't seem soon enough. ::coughs::

Had a good and bad day. Went to the tea place, that was good. Went to the mall, that was good too. Went to the Chinese cultural center again. That blew. The clothes I wanted didn't fit me. Chinese women must be *tiny*. I wear a size 14 dress and that translates into a 4XL in China. Anyway, I wanted just a shirt, but they didn't sell just shirts. Bah. And I didn't have enough money for a good dinner.

Came home and packed, which didn't go well at all and actually reduced me to tears at least once. Here's a sample:

Me: Mom, where are those boxes you mentioned during lunch? I need one.
Mom: Look in the shed.
Me: ::looks in shed. No boxes.:: They're not there.
Mom: Well, ask your father.
Dad: I think I threw them out.
Me: Well, I need one more box or I can't pack.
Mom: You should have mentioned it earlier.
Me: I asked at lunch and you said we had some and we could get them tonight. ::points at Dad:: Why didn't you mention that you'd thrown them out?
Dad: I didn't think of it.

We finally dug out a box so I could pack. But on the whole, I was displeased. Anyway, now everything is, well, semi-fine.

The other disaster of the day was that I couldn't listen to the radio show we were on. Because my computer is slow and stupid and refuses streaming audio. So I hope *someone* heard it and enjoyed it.

I should really be in bed right about now, because I have to get up in seven and a half hours.

...Watari last kicked ass at 02:14 a.m....
...Friday, August 9...

Well. Haven't posted for a few days. First off, Atropos 35 is up on CLAMPesque. Second off, everyone be sure to tune in to me and her on the BookCrazy Radio Show on Thursday. It runs all day on a continuous loop. Just to keep listening and you'll hear us.

In other news, we went to the zoo today. It was a remarkably big zoo that had remarkably few animals, and so consisted of a lot of walking around in really hot weather. I'm not thrilled with this. But the animals we did see were cool.

We're here for three more days and have craploads to do. Damnit.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:39 p.m....
...Wednesday, August 7...

Right, so, just hopped on long enough to post. Falling 1 is up on CLAMPesque and FFNet. So, uh, go enjoy, because the next part will be at least a couple weeks. Given that I have to go back to New Hampshire and all.

There will probably be one more part of Atropos, or maybe if you're lucky two, before we leave. The rest will be posted when we get back.

I had an interesting day. But I don't feel like blogging about it. So you'll all just have to wonder.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:50 p.m....
...Monday, August 5...

Well. Here I am at work, on my second to last day. I'll miss Jim, my coworker. I think I'll miss Jim more than I'll miss my parents, which is scary, but then again, Jim is a funny funny guy. And very nice.

Currently, I feel like an idiot, because my glasses slid out of my purse while driving, and then I rode back to work with my father. So now I don't have my glasses, and I'm sitting here in my sunglasses (which are perscription) and the room is either very dark or very blurry. Kind of like (as you might remember) the original Liam, who only had perscription sunglasses because he couldn't afford real ones and had stolen those from his father.

Funny thing at the post office. After waiting five years to get to be the second in line, the guy in front of me goes up. Not only does he have express packaging when he wants normal mail, but he also has the wrong address on his package. ::sigh:: Stupidity always amazes me.

Anyway, now I'm going to go try to torture Hisoka.

...Watari last kicked ass at 01:49 p.m....
...Monday, August 5...

Forgot to post this earlier, because I'm dumb and tired and had a bad day, but Atropos 34 is up on CLAMPesque. And now, since I have to be at work at eight thirty, I'm going to collapse. Or, go to bed.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:45 p.m....
...Sunday, August 4...

Well. Looks like we'll be leaving Arizona early. On the tenth, instead of the fourteenth. Before anyone asks, yes, this is basically because I got the three of us thrown out yesterday by having a screaming argument with my parents.

....go me.

I'd be upset about getting us kicked out if it weren't for the fact that we all wanted to leave anyway. All I'm vaguely upset about is the fact that I'm going to be in the car all day on my twenty-first birthday (Cat and Karasu have promised to buy me lunch) and that I've single-handedly, most likely permanently, ruined my relationship with my parents.

Oh, and did I mention I'm broke?

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:32 a.m....
...Sunday, August 4...

Well. I've had a horrible day. Feel free to not read this entry.

I get up, check reviews. Good reviews, pretty reviews, happy reviews. Yay. Go downstairs, discover that Cat has gotten into a "slight" accident in my car. Now Dad is bitching like a maniac and insists that I go down to where she's working to check out the damage. Never mind that she'll be home in the evening.

Go down, find a slight dent in my bumper and a crumpled license plate. Whee. Go out to lunch with Karasu, spending too much money, get a new pair of black sandals, still spending too much money but I've wanted a pair for ages and these actually fit. (Try having feet that are 6 and a half wide and finding shoes that fit. All my shoes are either too long or too tight.) But still, I'm having a pretty good day.

Come home, clean my room. Get into a raging argument with my parents. The first in ages that has left a) more than one party screaming, b) more than one party in tears, c) me storming out of the house and scalding my feet because I was too upset to grab my shoes, d) me coming back in and having my parents ask to have a little talk with me, e) being told that they don't really appreciate who I've turned out to be, f) me walking out on aforementioned little talk for the first time ever, g) me being unmitigatingly depressed all afternoon.

Finish cleaning my room. Cleaned the bathroom as well, for lack of anything better to do. I would have written, but Hisoka flat out forbade me from writing anything with him in it while I was in this mood, and quite frankly I don't blame him. And Ethan and Bren are boring the piss out of me, so no luck there either.

Get online, check reviews. One bad review in amidst all the good ones. A bad review that is one hundred percent correct. See earlier entry about me being too judgmental about my own work, and find me now again unmitigatingly depressed.

...if my parents think I'm coming down for dinner, they're out of their freakin' gourds. I'm hiding up here until I'm too hungry to stand it anymore, and then I'm going to go to Burger King. Spending too much money again, ah well.

I'm pretty much only blogging because I know it will piss my parents off that I'm online this time of day. And I felt the need to bitch. Ta.

...Watari last kicked ass at 05:39 p.m....
...Saturday, August 3...

Well, so, Atropos 33 is up on CLAMPesque. And now we will hide in our little bunkers.

...Evo, I owe you an e-mail. Terribly. And I'll send it tomorrow, really.

In other news, has anyone here read The Dark Jewels Trilogy, by Anne Bishop? If you have, please talk Karasu and I *out* of writing a DJ/X crossover. Please. No, really, I mean it.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:50 p.m....
...Friday, August 2...

Me? Go adoption happy? Well... maybe just a little. But they're all so *cute*!! XD~~~

And now, I'll go do nothing, because that's what I do best.

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:59 p.m....
...Thursday, August 1...

You know what I really hate? Doubting myself. I hate the fact that I can look at the fact that there are tons of reviews for things I've written and still doubt that any of it is any good. I hate doubting that I'm ever going to be able to get anything published because, quite frankly, good business skills are more important than good writing skills anyway. I hate the fact that I have no confidence in myself, and I hate the fact that if I see someone I know online and they haven't IMed me, I immediately come to the conclusion that I've done something wrong and they don't like me anymore.

And while I'm on the subject, I hate people who call you and have the wrong number and then try to convince you that they have the right number. It's like no, buddy, I'm really not who you're looking for, and I don't know their number either. Now go away, line 2 is ringing and that's probably someone I actually want to talk to.

I've decided to join cliques. I don't know why, since I've never wanted to before, but for some reason I've suddenly decided that I want to. And I want more adoptions, too, but those are going to have to wait until I get home, so I can save the pictures and upload them.

...I'm probably going to regret the first part of this entry later, aren't I. >_<

...Watari last kicked ass at 02:28 p.m....
...Thursday, August 1...

Well, well, well. Atropos 32 is up on CLAMPesque. With another cliffhanger, because we just rule like that. I feel vaguely ill for no real reason. Which is annoying the piss out of me.

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:15 p.m....
...Wednesday, July 31...

So I sat down to write and couldn't. So I decided to let Hisoka write instead, which actually worked fairly well, even if it implies dubious things about my sanity. Therefore, the next chapter of Falling is probably going to be one big Hisoka-rambling-fest. But hey, that's the joy of writing in first person. Or something.

...Watari last kicked ass at 03:46 p.m....
...Wednesday, July 31...

So, here I am at work, feeling remarkably ill, but that just may be because of the early hour. Or because I didn't eat anything before leaving, but then again I never do. Eheh. I had something to blog but I don't remember what it was. I want a poll for my blog but I can't think of one. And this entry is pointless, so I'm going away now.

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:46 a.m....
...Wednesday, July 31...

PSA:

If you're going to have a custody battle over your child, that's just peachy, but please don't do it within earshot of the child. Especially not while I'm also in earshot, because then I might wring your neck.

/PSA

PSA2:

If you're trying to call your insurance company and you dial our number instead, that's understandable, but do you really think Cigna would give you a real human being on the first try? No, they really wouldn't.

/PSA2

I need to update my links list. Just in case anyone cares.

...Watari last kicked ass at 01:19 p.m....
...Tuesday, July 30...

Right. The name of the new Yami fic is Falling is Like This, courtesy of Ani Difranco, and it's up on CLAMPesque and FFNet, after a half-hour struggle with the latter. The things I do for my fans, heh.

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:19 p.m....
...Monday, July 29...

Well. Atropos 31 is up. And the prologue to my new Yami fic *would* be, if I could just think up a bloody title for it. I really suck at titles. But I'm sure I'll come up with something.

...Watari last kicked ass at 08:24 p.m....
...Monday, July 29...

....just now, I made the mistake of thinking about wonton soup. Now I'm *starving*, whereas before this I hadn't realized that I was hungry at all. Wah.

I've answered my email. Go me. I think this makes me terribly pathetic.

Welcome to Random Blog Entries 'R Us, alternately known as Kouri is Bored at Work.

In other news, I have no other news, so I think I'm going to go daydream about soup a little more.

...Watari last kicked ass at 03:03 p.m....
...Monday, July 29...

Well, well, well... here I am at work. But in a few minutes I get to go get lunch. Yay for me. After lunch I'm going to harass people for records (so what else is new?) and answer my email (so what else is new? No, really). And then... I'll probably read, or write, or... do something useful.

Spent a whole bunch of time with her last night plotting our new fic. It's going to be way darker than Atropos. And, er, have more sex. Maybe if people beg, I'll reveal the basic premise. XD

Linked to Evo, because he's cool. And is putting us on the radio. ^_^

And now... food.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:49 a.m....
...Monday, July 29...

Um.... yo. When You Were Mine 5 is up, as promised, at Questionable Reality. And it's a strange, strange chapter. And I have no idea what happens after about midway through chapter six! Because I suck like that.

But, because someone on CLAMPesque had to go and ask us what Karasu and I were planning for after Atropos, we thought of something. Damn you to hell and back again. XD No, really. We're having fun.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:28 p.m....
...Sunday, July 28...

Why are you wasting your time here? You could be having sex with . . .

...Watari last kicked ass at 07:52 p.m....
...Sunday, July 28...

Well. Remind me to never again say that I'm going to call someone on my blog, because then if I forget, they'll worry about me. Blarg. I have a memory like Swiss Cheese, but no one seems to realize this.

On the other hand, Atropos 30 is up on CLAMPesque, this chapter with an even worse cliffhanger than the last one. XD

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:17 p.m....
...Saturday, July 27...

I just put this post on her blog, which makes me dumb.

So I thought, since so many people are leaving for vacation for some reason, maybe I would post chapter 30 of Atropos to fix that horrible cliffhanger. And then I realized that chapter 30 has an even *worse* cliffhanger, so maybe I shouldn't do that. So I'll post it tomorrow as planned.

...and dude. I'm going to be on the radio. ::waves to Evo:: I'll give you a call tomorrow. ^^

Had a pretty good day. Karasu and I went exploring in Phoenix. As well as overheating ourselves, we got photos of neat buildings and stuff. I found a tiny cactus to give to my dad for his birthday, which is about a week and a half away. Then we found a really cheap second-hand clothing store. I mean, *really* cheap. I got a silk button down shirt for 99 cents. And then we found a Chinese mall thing in which we had a really good Chinese dinner (with a cute waiter) and another neat store with tons of stuff I want and can't afford. But maybe I'll be able to before we leave Arizona.

So... good day. It was windy and even sort of cool by the time we got home, and now I'm exhausted and will go crawl into bed and read for a while until I drop into unconsciousness.

And I totally agree with you about the way X is going. But then again, I've been getting steadily more and more disillusioned with it since Rainbow Bridge, and that was over a year and a half ago. They really did waste Subaru... ah well. I'll just write fanfiction to make myself feel better. ^_^

PS -- I will also call you tomorrow. And my Yume-neechan. I'll just be on the phone all day tomorrow, whee!

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:57 p.m....
...Friday, July 26...

Well, just kidding, I'm not going to answer my email today, because it's too late. So, Hiki-chan and Morgiana, if you read this, I have gotten your emails and appreciate them and will reply. Soon. Really.

And on a not-so-side note, Atropos 29 is up on CLAMPesque, containing lots of S/S goodness and Muraki badness. Yeah.

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:42 p.m....
...Thursday, July 25...

I... am having a very strange day. A very, very strange day.

And I really need to answer my email, which I will do tonight. Especially the long emails I got. Kira-kins, I think I'll just go over your suggestions with you on IM, rather than emailing you back... easier for both of us that way. ^^

There are just no words for this day. So... I'm going to go read my book now.

...Watari last kicked ass at 01:08 p.m....
...Thursday, July 25...

::stares at computer::

Why are you saying that the only parking permit available for me to buy for next year is a motorcycle permit?

::adds Keene Parking Services to the list of people who need to die::

That's it. I'm on strike. I'm going to hide in my room until all the stupid people on the world have died.

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:27 a.m....
...Wednesday, July 24...

So, Atropos 28 is up on CLAMPesque. And now I think I may actually go to bed. This early. Sick, isn't it. But I'm exhausted beyond words. Stupid job.

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:21 p.m....
...Tuesday, July 23...

Well, I'm in a moderately better mood today. Actually, it's not hard to be in a better mood today than I was yesterday, *especially* if you know the details of the later part of my day. Which involved a screaming argument with my mother, lots of emotional blackmail, and me threatening to lock myself into my room until I starved to death. I was mad enough to do it, too.

....Anyway, it's hard to be so gloomy when you have a very adorable four-year-old on your lap for the good part of the morning. And I do mean adorable. Of course, it was impossible to get any work done, but at least I had an excuse! And she made me a paper clip necklace which I'll treasure. Well, until about 4h30 when I get really bored and probably dismantle it.

I have no car. This displeases me. It's off having its oil system replaced, because my parents are paranoid. Well, and the oil light came on at random intervals. Blah. I want my car back. Fortunately, their mechanic is off in the boondocks and so should probably have it done by tomorrow. Which is a very good thing.

I'm sure I had other stuff to blog about, but I also have people to call and harass to send us medical records, so it'll have to wait until after lunch, at least.

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:37 a.m....
...Tuesday, July 23...

...I'm aware that I've been a real downer lately. You can all feel free to stop reading my blog. And because I've posted so much whining since yesterday night, I'm going to reiterate that Atropos 27 is up, just so people don't have to scan through three entries of bitching before they realize it.

What does it say about my current life that when my father is hanging pictures in the office, my first thought is wondering whether or not I can get the hammer away from him so I can bludgeon myself to death?

...also, what does it say about my life that I've blogged three times today and have nearly been reduced to tears twice for absolutely no reason whatsoever?

Today sucked. Tomorrow is also going to suck, and it's going to suck more because it's going to be even *longer*. Normally I have to be up at 9. Today I had to be up at 8, because I have no car until mine is fixed and had to ride in with my dad. Tomorrow I have to be up at 7h30 so I can drop my car off at the mechanics' before work. But what the hell. I'm not sleeping anyway, so what does one fucking half hour matter? Not diddly squat.

...Watari last kicked ass at 04:18 p.m....
...Monday, July 22...

In an attempt to distract myself/cheer myself up/keep myself from going insane/make up for that entry earlier this morning...

Selectors!

Take the What Kind of Chinese Food Are You? test!

...Watari last kicked ass at 10:51 a.m....
...Monday, July 22...

Oog.

Oog, I say.

And no, I'm not angry at you by any means. I would have cleared that up when I answered the email, but right now my brain has the capacity of burnt toast, so I doubt I'm going to be doing it any time soon. Your email was informative and helpful and we *wanted* critique, we're not going to get upset about getting it when it was what we asked for.

No, what I'm upset about is watching my friendship with someone else dissolve, and being in this hellhole with hardly any money to enjoy the things that would make it less of a hell hole, and my car having issues so I can't go anywhere anyway and trying to keep her from going insane and the fact that THIS VACATION HAS ROYALLY SUCKED AND I WANT IT BACK.

I really wish I could just undo this entire summer. I didn't get a vacation, and I needed one. I'm going to go back to school just as stressed and depressed as ever and it's just going to be bad, especially since next semester is going to be the hardest one I've had yet.

I was talking last night and someone (names shall be concealed to protect the guilty) said it's worse to know your own patterns then to not. And she's right, because right now I know exactly how depressed I am and I know that it's only downhill from here. I'm *tired*. I'm so tired that I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. And yet I can't sleep. That's always how it starts. I'm so tired that I can't sleep. And I can't *write*. That's the other big sign. I think I may have started When You Were Mine in an effort to stave it off, because nothing else was interesting me, except now that isn't interesting me either.

....right. So here I am at work, with an eight hour day ahead of me. I think I'll crawl under a rock and die.

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:05 a.m....
...Monday, July 22...

Well. Atropos 27 is up on CLAMPesque, in all its glory of Tree-san being bizarre, Hisoka and Tsuzuki being cute, and Fuuma and Kakyou being horny. So what else is new, ne? Now I'm going to go collapse into bed.

....I'm so tired that I don't even have the energy to be upset or angry about how lousy this summer has been. I *hate* that.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:52 p.m....
...Sunday, July 21...

Fic site update. I'm too lazy to type in everything, but there is more of both Separate Selves and of Genesis X along with the other stuff that's already been put on posting boards. Blah. I'm cranky.

...Watari last kicked ass at 03:44 p.m....
...Saturday, July 20...

Wai! Sankyuu for the pretty pic! When I do site updatey later I'll make sure to toss all those up there. ^_^

And now... I will go find something to do.

...Watari last kicked ass at 11:02 a.m....
...Saturday, July 20...

I haven't blogged all day. So I'm blogging, and then I'm going to go to bed. Nothing happened of much interest. Let's see, my day went... (and I'm sure you all care)...

12h30: haul self out of bed.
1: play endless games of gin rummy with Karasu while eating lunch.
2: shower and drag self out of house to do errands.
2h30: mall, post office, pharmacy.
4: more games of rummy.
5: write a bit of origific with Karasu, whacking dull history lesson inserted into chapter one of our new story.
6h30: dinner.
7: go to this author's cafe thing. No authors, and very little cafe. Guitar player/singer there, doing Beatles covers. Try to plan new story and get jack. On upside, paid two sixty-nine and got some Japanese Garden tea, v. yummy.
8h30: Go home. Dip feet in pool and complain about how much we hate it here.
9h30: Go inside and complain to my mother about how much we hate it here. Contemplate getting Catriona on a plane and how much that would make us all feel better.
10h30: Watched The Sword in the Stone, which is one of my favorite Disney movies, with my mother of all people.

And then we're at now and I'm done checking email and glowing over praise for Atropos. Yeah. I have nothing to do tomorrow until 5, so hopefully I'll be able to work on When You Were Mine or maybe a site update.

I'm in one of those vaguely wistful moods where I don't want anything in particular, I just want my life to be different.

...I'm going to bed.

...Watari last kicked ass at 12:29 a.m....
...Saturday, July 20...

So, well... Atropos 26 is up on CLAMPesque. Cause, um, we just rule like that.

Kimura-chan, your new layout is up. ^^

I've started work on the sequel to the Yami fics. The third in the trilogy. It has no title and only about one screenful of text, but I've started it! And that's all that matters. And does it seem scary to anyone else that Akimiya is coordinating the wedding? ^_^;;

...Watari last kicked ass at 09:57 p.m....
...Thursday, July 18...

So.... switched layouts. Watari-saaaaaan! ::crows with glee:: I'm very amused by this one, even though I made it on a whim and artistically it's only so-so. I mean... it's Watari with a huge gun. You can't get much better than that. ^^

...Watari last kicked ass at 08:14 p.m....
...Thursday, July 18...