:: After today nothing else matters ::

Tuesday, August 5, 2003
Loving you@ 12:25 p.m.
*groans* I have finals, FINALS, FINALS!! in the most dreadful subject ever! *dies* But sheesh, it seems like I just keep whining about it, dosen't it?
Oh?? What's this? *picks up phone for bishie hotline sightings* Zan-Louise! You have to come here because we are getting a message from someone who has spotted a bishounen on the lose! *grins and whips out picture of said bishie*

Name: Nokoru Imamanoya
Age: Last time we checked he was in his twenties, but it doesn't hurt to look at him in his teenage years ^^
Occupation: Being unnecessarily cute and just overall beautiful. (Dosen't hurt to be the richest kid in Japan as well. And Rijichoo of CLAMP school. :D )
Weaknesses: Hmm...Suoh? *snickers*...and ice cream
Status:Last seen running around in aforeseen outfit with a water hose trying to see if he could get Suoh in a wet t-shirt competition. Unfortunately, he was reported missing after an hour of this act.
Possible places for his hideout: Suoh's pants? Suoh's bedroom? Take your pick.
Anyone with any information on his whereabouts should please contact the Bishounen Huntresses Hotline. You will be rewarded handsomely with lots and lots of pictures of bishies to oogle at. ^^

Saturday, August 2, 2003
Loving you@ 11:29 p.m.

You're Yusuke Yuremeshi. He's tough, he's strong,
and he's street smart. He rocks his enemies
with pure fist flying action. Rock on!

What Anime Fighter are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, August 2, 2003
Loving you@ 10:11 p.m.
*sighs* Well, that's that. I suck at using frames and it seems like any other Pop ups I try to use always ends up screwing up. ><;; Ah well, at least I got some anime and manga reading done yesterday and today. And also finished another chapter of The Tutor which has been shipped off to my beta, Zan-Louise for further inspection. Needless to say, she is going to have her hands full because once the muse gets in gear, it's kind of hard for it to slow down. -_-;;

SPOILER WARNING! On a happier note, I got to watch Wolf's Rain Episodes 25 and 26 supposedly the final episodes, but the fansubbers had written that we were to expect episodes 27-30 soon, so we are keeping our fingers crossed for that. I am still confused by the ending of the story though. *pouts* I was under the impression that Kiba was the Chosen one, but then Darcia turns around and says that HE is the chosen one...eh? Confusion, much? And I wanted that Jagara to die a slow and painful death. Argh! She was such a...a...BITCH! Darcia was too damn nice if you ask me. And Hige *sniffles* my poor sweet Hige, so brave of him at the end. I almost teared up at the part when he had to say 'goodbye' to Blue and then when Kiba asks Cheza to sing for him...*sighs* I was a weeping mess, I tell you.
Besides watching Wolf's Rain, I also got to see Naruto 43 which was so-so, nothing too extraordinary. But then again, we are finally going to see Naruto-kun fighting in the next episode! Isn't that awesome?!
On the manga side of things, I decided to give one that had been catching my attention lately a go. It's called Iron Wok Jan. And as the name suggests, it's mostly about cooking, food, more cooking...oh and there is the sexual tension between two teenagers, that's enough to make you want to say, JUST DO IT ALREADY! Anyhoo, I LOVE the manga! ^_^ And I highly recommend anyone to pick it up and read. So, the drawings are a bit...scary, but the storyline is great and with all the different types of Chinese food displayed every other page, one can learn a few things about cooking in that book. Here's what the cover page looks like:

To learn more about this manga and many others that concern Kung Fu, I found this really cool site:

+ Chinese Manga Comic Store

You can find the books in your nearby bookstore! Happy reading!
PS: The site also has manga samples (like a chapter) of each manga for your reading pleasure as well. ^_^

Friday, August 1, 2003
Loving you@ 09:36 p.m.

I finally changed the layout to my fanfiction site:
NEW!
And needless to say, I am still worried about the amount of space I have left. Don't want to sound like a cheapskate, but I would really appreciate someone willing to host me right now...except for the fact that I do not really know what it entails. -_-;; But at this rate, I am going to have to start deleting further pages and I don't want to do that.
On a lighter note, I have two more online Stripping Hikaru no Go games! ^_^ Courtesy of Akra

+ Rock, Paper, Scissors
+ Much harder version

Hope you like! And remember, these games are not for kiddies, so don't go playing them in front of your family members or office workers. I warned you. :P

Friday, August 1, 2003
Loving you@ 01:30 a.m.
Ah, it's times like these I am lucky I have such a cool group. Shameless plugging?? Hell yeah!!

PLUG! PLUG! PLUG! PLUG!

And thanks to Fablespinner we are now able to watch the last two episodes...or was that episode 26 and then 4 bonus episodes of Wolf's Rain. Hmmm...*is confused* Either way, we finally get to see the episodes we have dying to see!

In other news, I just had my chemistry exam...well...yesterday and needless to say, I am plenty worried about it. I am supposed to be graduating from college next semester and yet I am worried sick about my GPA. Gah! I don't know what possessed me to actually take science classes LAST! I am not good at those at all!

Oh! Minor Break Epy 25 - 44% Epy 26 - 2%

As I was saying, I am so not happy with that at all. But right now, I am still looking for a decent job. Seems like no one is hiring around this time, but that won't stop me from searching. *nods* I also will have to get ready for my trip to Houston in two weeks. *shudders* I am so not looking forward to that at all. But what can I do? Family duties call and I have to obey, ne?

You still going to throw the bishie party for me, Zan-chan? And you know you can always invite Maxxie and Tristan to come by and join Chris in the Chippendale's section of the night. *snickers*
GO BOYS! GET BUSY!! :P
*is such a hentai and perv all rolled into one*

Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Loving you@ 04:48 p.m.

I don't really have much to say except that I am so thrilled and feeling a bit better too.

I have five stories on ff.net with more than I00 REVIEWS!! YAY!!

Ah, thank you all ye readers, you have certainly made this girl's day. ^_____________^

Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Loving you@ 08:26 a.m.
Ah well, you can add one more thing to my list of most embarrassing moments now. *sighs softly*

I chucked up my entire lunch in the middle of class last night. Yay.

Needless to say, I felt like the ground should just open up and swallow me whole. And it wasn't as if I had any symptoms or any thing that would warn me of my impending illness. It just...happened. Matt had to drive me home and he and Chris just returned my car this morning, so I owe them one big time. Thanks guys. *smiles weakly*
Geez, it just seems like I am getting sick every other day, doesn't it? And I think all the stress of dealing with finals and looking for a job and finding an apartment seems to have taken its toll on me.
But don't worry, I will be fine in no time. I have Weight Training finals today and Chemistry tests tomorrow. So, I pretty much booked solid.
Wish me luck, guys. I am definitely going to need it. ^^

Sunday, July 27, 2003
Loving you@ 12:54 a.m.
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have left me messages on the tagboard, have sent me cards and wonderful emails of encouragemnt. *hugs them all* Thank you all so much. Your support and strength have meant so much to me during this tough time.
I hope I can make you all proud of me, as I am proud of you for being such cool friends.
*bows gratefully* Thank you all so much again.

Thursday, July 24, 2003
Loving you@ 09:09 a.m.
Do you have any idea of what it feels like to be alone and miserable? I don't want to sound like I am too depressed, but I guess I am when I think about it. It's so hard to put up a smiling and cheerful face when you feel like shit inside. You feel so worthless and useless knowing full well that you could be doing and achieving so much more than what your present predicament.
I didn't choose to have this kind of life. I didn't wake up one morning proclaiming to the world that I wanted to become a lazy bum for life. No. You could say that I was thrust into this poisition and it's unfortunate that things have had to come to such a head.
I love my family to death. But I guess I suck at expressing my emotions in that way. I am not really the touchy feely type of person. I could do without the mushy hugs (even though I tend to do that a lot online *laughs softly*). I could do without all of the romantic things, or perhaps I delude myself in thinking that. But the point is...I am not happy with myself right now.
I grew up believing that I would become the greatest lawyer that ever lived. Everyone said I would become a great one and I guess I believed them because I liked to read and read and read. However, I couldn't argue for the life of me. I suck at arguments. If I got into a squabble with anyone, I would either end up crying or just give in. Pretty pathetic, ne? So, what made them think I would be a great lawyer? Oh yeah, that was me believing what everyone else said. *sighs*
And then I reached high school and then the computer business began to boom. Hell! Everyone was doing it, why shouldn't I? I should just switch from becoming a lawyer to become a computer scientist. I mean, it only seemed logical, right? And the money is there, not so? Well, I switched. Fat load of good it did for me. Not only do I detest the thought of spending hours in front of a computer 'programming', but realizing that I have wasted almost four years of my life in a field that is slowly deteriorating, is the most annoying thing that can ever happen to anyone. I mean, what happens when I graduate? It's not as if there are companies out there really searching or looking for people with CIS as their majors. What organizations need now are either medical personnel or things related to that. Experience...? Zilch.
But guess what, I also came to discover something and that was my love for writing. Everyone says it's an escape from reality and I guess it is in a sense for me. I am now so far removed from reality that my family resents me for that. Ha! How funny is that? They feel as if I am now the outsider and not willing to comply with family rules or whatever. And maybe they are right in a way. I have dedicated most of my time to pursuing a goal that I have finally found fulfillment in, only to find out that they cannot support me with that! Just the thought or mention of me pursuing full time writing as a career, had them all up in arms and ready to call a shrink to check my head for grey matter or something.
I used to feel happy writing. I used to look forward to the moments when I could sit down and be alone with my thoughts and be able to write them down purely, if that makes any sense. But these days...these days, it's like I get so terrified of actually sitting down to do so. I feel as if they are watching my every move and the urge to write becomes a chore in itself. So many thoughts run through my mind, almost making me doubt myself and I don't want that to happen to me. I don't want to keep looking over my shoulder wondering what the other person is thinking. I want to write because I love to and nothing more.
I see all the hundreds of reviews I have gotten over the years for the stuff I have written and I can't help feeling sad or even more depressed at myself. I feel as if I am letting people down by being this way. Some put me on a pedestal and I feel as if I am falling short all the time. I want to scream that 'I can't do it anymore!!!'. I want to just...cry and never stop.
But most importantly, I am just angry at myself. Angry, disappointed and miserable. If only I could turn back time and do things a bit differently, then maybe...maybe I would have found the true meaning of happiness in this life of mine.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Loving you@ 05:02 p.m.
Souh...Nokoru...I LOVE YOU BOTH!!! *^^* *squeals in sheer happiness*

Arigato, Zan-Louise-chan for the link to these awesome pictures!

Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Loving you@ 12:51 a.m.

I NEED CLAMP CAMPUS DETECTIVES FANFICTION (possibly yaoi/shounen-ai infested) Please!!! *cries*

Monday, July 21, 2003
Loving you@ 04:42 p.m.
Oh yeah! Did I forget to mention that I am pretty stupid. *lol* I knew I shouldn't have put the hyphen in the name. *slaps hand against forehead*

And now it's that time again for everyone's favorite pasttime...THE REVIEWS! :P

+ Love Mode Chapter 6: Gah...as much as I love this series, I am really, really beginning to get a bit irritated with the Aoe/Naoya storyline. It's like Naoya ALWAYS gets into some kind of trouble with the bad guys and then Aoe comes scurrying over to rescue him. Sheesh! *Insert Ranting Mode Here* Honestly! I am missing my Takamiya/Izumi storyline!! Where is my IZUMI?! He is the funniest and most interesting person there in my opinion, but then again...I think I am in the minority in this one. *pouts* Don't worry, Izumi-chan. I shall find a picture of you and worship the ground you walk on. Oh and one more thing...let Aoe and Naoya just have their damn sex and get it over with for crying out loud! ><;; I think the readers have been kept in 'suspense' for too long now. *rolls eyes*

+ Naruto 41: By far, the most boring episode. -_-;; This had the Ino/Sakura flashback galore that had me wishing I could just rewind it to the shota...eh...scene between Kakashi and Sasuke. *squeals* I am sorry, but that scene just had shounen stuff all over it. Those of you who have watched it know exactly what I mean. ^^

+ Onegai Twins: Okay, fuss, fuss, fuss. I heard all the fuss and wondered what it was about. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Onegai Twins!:

A spinoff from Onegai Teacher (which I still don't get) about three people with the same color of eyes, who believe that they are all twins (it gets complicated trust me) because of this house that is in a picture that they have had their whole lives. I liked it, to be honest and I think the guy is so hot and if they are indeed twins *snickers* you can already see the incest undertones the show has, because the boy (Maiku Kamishiro) is already having the hots for the orange-haired girl (Minna Miyafuji) and Kami knows what would have happened if the green haired girl (Karen Onodera) hadn't butted in. But as I said, it looks so promising and I can't wait for the next episode. ^^

Well, that's all for today. I am still waiting and having Dear Boys and E's Otherwise withdrawals. :(

Monday, July 21, 2003
Loving you@ 02:43 p.m.
Okay, I have a problem....I do not remember your streamload account name again. ><;;
I have been typing in several versions but I keep getting the same error 'Name invalid'.

Monday, July 21, 2003
Loving you@ 02:35 p.m.
Mondays always seem to make me feel so lazy and weary of life in general. Can't really explain it. It just does. Proof...half of the class was asleep this morning and I STILL haven't recovered from my daze-like stupor.
I hate Mondays. -_-;;
Zan-chan, I did manage to download Episode 14 of E's for you and had begun to upload it to the streamload account. I thought it would be faster, but turned out that I had about 2hrs to wait, but I had to go to school and thereby left it running. But guess what??? The neice came to the computer while I was gone and took the entire thing OFF! Which meant that I had to start all over again....eh??
YATTA! It's done now! Whoo! I am sending it over to you right now, okay? ^______^

Friday, July 18, 2003
Loving you@ 10:30 p.m.
Today....nothing happened much to me today. I tried to get a story written and wound up staring at the screen for yet another hour. Can you say loss of muse and inspiration? *rolls eyes* I got to rent Strawberry's Eggs. I heard it was supposed to be good, so I got it. It had better be worth my time and money or I would have gotten it online instead. Also got Clamp Campus Detectives. *grins* Gee...I am only watching it for like the one-millionth time.
Went to Borders and read in Animerica that there is a new GW manga out. I had heard rumors about it, but I wasn't really sure. It is set something after the Eve's War and Endless Waltz, but the drawing isn't all that great. I think it was called Battle of the Pacifists or something like that. But don't take my word for it. I will have to do a double check and see what it is all about again. Speaking of which...

Kawaii, desu ne? Trust Duo to look like he just got royally screwed. LOL!
That's all I've got for today. Oh yeah!! How could I possibly forget! ><;; I got to watch several shows lately. So, I will give my short reviews accordingly:

+ Full Metal Panic: Looks extremely promising. I already love Sousouke Sagara. He has that whole Heero-cluelessness-about-the-normal-things-in-life mentality which is so kawaii. I think I will be sticking to this one.

+ Onegai Teacher OVA: Hmmm..this is suppposed to be a sex-comedy like thing, but I wasn't really feeling it. It had its funny moments, but it's not something that I see myself spending a lot of time on. So, we will keep you aside for now.

+ Get Backers 38: And I thought that the show was never going to be fansubbed again! ^^ YAY! This epsiode focused mainly on Shido. You know...the beast Master guy? Well, we get to see the budding romance between he and Madoka (the blind violinist). Very cute. And the end credits has changed too! :( I don't really like the new song or ending. The previous one was so much better. This new one looks too chibified for me. Ah well...time to go drown my sorrows in icecream...

Thursday, July 17, 2003
Loving you@ 06:00 p.m.
The worst thing about being done with one class is knowing that you have others waiting for you in the background. *sighs* It's so gooddamn frustrating, but what can you do? That's the bad thing about being in college. You have to STUDY. Whoever told you it was a place for just partying was nothing more than a liar.
On a brighter note, I managed to find a site to download most of the Wolf's Rain OSTs. Isn't that the coolest? It was recommended by rottenkid and if it wasn't for her, I guess I would still be moping around looking for where I could find the songs.
They can be found here by the way MangasLand. Although, it's in french, you can always understand what's what. ^^ So happy downloading and enjoy the music! ^_^

Thursday, July 17, 2003
Loving you@ 04:11 p.m.
Whee! Yet another new layout. I think I was getting a bit sick of the pink *lol*
Be back when I think of something worth saying. ><;;

***
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