chibi-attack! Wednesday, September 24, 2003 11:04 p.m.
Well D, me & Russ run at night around 9 or whenever he calls me. Sometime I do it alone around 6 because it's all pretty on the avenue then with the sun going down. And also there's the fact I can't really keep the pace that Russ has. He can run about 3 miles (ie. laps) whereas I run much less. But it is good practice for me to try and keep up with him, though it drags him behind I'm sure.

By the by, I knew at some point you'd end up drawing Capt. Sparrow. It was just a matter of time until you caved in =) I couldn't resist the siren call either. I ended up drawing him in chibi form, which is just plain sad. Every little thing I draw these days is chibi-fied, am a very sick, sad little person.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003 01:08 a.m.
Umm, getting better I supposed. I can tell my mom is more together though my dad is still being an escape artist. But all is either getting better or we're being delusional trying to down-play the seriousness of it. But I decided to stay in the dorm tonight, though I do miss the big shower and my nice, big queen-size bed.

Anyways, I ought to think more about school work. It's not going to be easy this year and I'm already feeling stressed way the hell out over everything. It's funny though. I stopped biting my nails but the stress manifested itself in other ways, such as making my friggin' hair fall out. Not cool. Oh and I went running with Russ earlier and he totally kicked my ass. He's in better shape than all of us which is totally baffling to me. Oh well, I'll try to stop being so lazy and catch up to him.

hey D.. Monday, September 22, 2003 11:05 p.m.
Yes I do think the sniper attack kitten may be needed...*evil grin*

God this hurts Monday, September 22, 2003 07:48 p.m.
My dad is busy pretending like everything is ok. He wants to keep a face up so bad... but you can tell he is depressed. He won't tell us whats going on and he won't let us help him. And he most certainly doesn't believe in counseling. I'm going to try to talk to him, but I doubt he'd talk to me of all people. He was upset that my mom told us kids in the first place. Said that we are the children, and it is none of our business basically. Bullocks to that shit! Until I can get the balls up to talk to him, I'm trying to study for a Sociology of Law. But that's hard when your face and eyes hurt from crying. Yesterday I was kinda numb, today is the day it hit me & knocked me on my ass.

I really do owe Mike & Chris a bizzillion. Thank you so very much, I can't thank you enough for your kindness. Yesterday right after I found out, they drove 2 hours to Mobile on spur of the moment for me. I can't thank them enough. I had time to calm down but I'm still sorry they had to see me at my worst possible. It really did make me feel sooooo much better to have them here. It felt so good to be near Mike, you are the sweetest. I miss you and think about you all the time. I've never had a boyfriend so nice to me, or who one didnt expect anything in return. And props to Chris for being goofy & trying to make me laugh all night. It's very muchly appreciated guys, thank you so much.

Lost Monday, September 22, 2003 07:01 p.m.
Since sunday my world has been upseide down. I really don't know what to make of things, and I still feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I've cried so damn much and spur of the moment my head hurts.

Just now I drove home and my parents are taking princess on a walk, talking about things i presume. I did my best impression of a bitch and gave my own dad the cold sholder. I hope they get this shit settled so we can move on with our lives, separated or not. Well, some one just got home I'm going to go see what the fuck is going on around here.

Underworld Sunday, September 21, 2003 03:03 a.m.
Am I odd that I liked underworld? I thought it had a cool storyline, while all the Satori bitches hated it. Satori sucks ass these days anyways. I will never go back to fitting in that crazy-ass, dark little world of backstabbing and clove cigarettes. It's still an evil heirarchy of the indie-rocker-film-music-student-with-emo-glasses-on world ~~~Where it's ok to be an asshole because you live a tortured exisitance of musician/poet/film student/loser living off your rich parents money and trying to deny it. The only reason I ever go there anymore is to find Felicia, Chris, Josh, or hoping to peck a fight & slay some emos, or get an awesome oreo shake. God the oreo shakes are the fucking best (And yes I want real milk dammit, I'm not a pussy vegan). But going to Satori is like being warped back in highschool where everyone is worshipping the indie rock/film god and looking at pitchforkmedia.com. You poor, sick little bastards.

Saturday, September 20, 2003 03:06 p.m.
I have the nicest boyfriend ever. I read his journal and nearly cried. God I miss him alot. *sigh* I really wish I could make a way to see him more often. This distance is getting harder and harder. I think about him all the damn time. and actually getting to see him is so wonderful. there's nobody else like him. I'm still kinda kicking myself for not going up to him earlier. I had a crush on him all semester and didn't make a move until the end. Oh well, at least he wasn't taken already =) very lucky for me he wasn't. Well i need to get ready for work, ugh. I don't want to go.

bad bad water Friday, September 19, 2003 03:40 p.m.
Oi, Brandys 2nd baby popped out yesterday around 3:30pm. Lisa is having another pregnacy scare and Stacey is due around Oct. 27. Also my sis-in-law is throughly knocked up. *sigh* I can practically hear the mood swings coming.

I dont know why it irrates me other than I'm still cynical since last nights bitchfest with Felicia & Cool-girl. Don't get me wrong I do like kids. Go see a live birth sometime, you will think twice about ever having sex again. But lately i have been seeing more and more preggers walking around. Lisa said "It must be the water." I told her it looks like I'll be drinking gin for the next decade. Dina, spread the word. Don't drink the water.

AArrggg! Friday, September 19, 2003 03:24 a.m.
It's international talk like a pirate day...or at least that's what Mike said. I've heard of it before actually, wasn't it in April? Yo ho and a bottle of rum!

Went to Paddy O'Tooles with Felicia-baby, Jason, and Cool girl. Poor Jason was forced into distracting his self with pool while we girls talked non-damn-stop about junk. Found out all of Cool-girls past with alittle help from beer. Thank you cheap-ass nasty beer! And of course we talked about all our shitty past relationships. Between the 3 of us girls we have a grand total of 6 broken engagements; lots of man-hating. Thankfully I'm not the crazy Miss Havisham type. We all talked about what if plans had actually gone thru. Scary shite. I'd be dead from all that went on when I was 16. Felicia would be on welfare in Wilmer, being a good wife with a kid and a pet dog ~that damn dog is evil too. Cool-girl would be a un-educated housewife, have a kid from his prev. marriage and live in Penn.

So what did we learn from all this kids?? Boys- Don't be lying fucktards. Girls- Don't be deceiving bitches.Lesson 1: Don't trust anyone ~man or woman~ as far as you can throw them. Lesson 2: Always get your edumacation first dumbass! Lesson 3: When in a fist fight with your ex-crazy, punches to the ear and throat are very cheap but useful for escape.

bored again Thursday, September 18, 2003 01:42 a.m.
*sigh* been a long day and yet i still dont wanna go to sleep. well it's been the usual. the guys bitch about pointless junk, stats is trying to make me sucidial, i get the daily dosage of anime and alittle work at B&N. where's the fun? the excitement? what happened to the days that used to rock? oh yeah, that was BEFORE college.

Holy Fucking Cow BatMan! that's quite a battle cry. sounds more like porno-material to me. *sigh* everyone and their mom has these and i get the crackwhore hotel lobbey one...geeze.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 04:30 p.m.
It is an absol-fucking-lutely gorgeous day outside. There's nothing better than kickingback and having a nap in the shade.

Could it be? Monday, September 15, 2003 08:47 p.m.
Fall weather? In mobile?? Naww...can't be. But it was extremely beautiful for what part of the day I wasnt sleeping. It wasn't hot for once. It was nice and breezy and not a cloud in the sky. So nice I opened my dorm windows and they are still open. I even went on a walk on the Avenue of Oaks it was so pretty. Fall may finally be on the way, you can kinda smell it. Yay! My favorite time o the year! The fair, sweater weather, homecoming games and early Halloween candy approaches. I can't wait til I can go roll in the leaves somewhere...

oi, here's another quiz

Hecate

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, September 14, 2003 07:54 p.m.
Been a semi-busy weekend. Mike & Chris came to Mobile yesterday, and of course I was a happy girl. And he said I was pretty, I was very thrown off track by that. Things have definitely gone a long way considering Chris C. used to yell at me for wearing a different color eyeliner. But later they left and I started to miss Mike right away, damn me. Then Matt D. called saying he was starving and I took him too Waffle House. So that was my saturday. Today I went home and my mom loaded me up with stuff again. I love my mommy, my parents are so good to me. Well, I'm off to wash clothes and do some reading before adult swim comes on.

when the arts and a dingus collide... Thursday, September 11, 2003 11:41 a.m.
i invented some shakespearian madlibs. why? as if i would know...but it kept my sad little mind occupied whilst in sociology of law.

'oh Shall I compare thee to a summer's hotdog . Thou art more stanky and more Amish . Rough kittens do shake the darling placenta of yo mama .'

...sadly, i couldnt remember much more of this sonnet. i have more now *evil grin* but i think my work here is done. *hears the swearings and shakings of fists from english majors*

weird... Wednesday, September 10, 2003 11:27 p.m.
very strange night at work. i got hit on more than aj did, and all by very scary people. first scary goth guy with a 5 inch pinky nail, then a few dorks later i had a 40 year old ask aj if i had a boyfriend...sick little pedophile. i'm not underage anymore but still, that's gross. i'm not even pretty at work. men must be way too despirate these days. they shoulda been in luck tonight, it was ladys night. or more like womens studys night; wednesdays are basically mega-vagina-female-grouping-over-poetry nights. then again, mega-vagina poetry night does sound scary...

the goods and the bads Wednesday, September 10, 2003 03:35 p.m.
stats is confusing the hell outta me. i'm doing very good on the daily quizs but i have a VERY bad feeling about my exam. i didnt have to go to shakespeare class b/c of mass of the holy spirit~ hurray for catholics!

Good: russ is pre-trained & takes out the trash for me. Bad: the air conditioner has started to make this evil thumping-annoying sound. Bad: i havent shaved my legs since mike last came to visit me & i'm starting to look like a yeti. Good: will HAVE to shave soon as i will see mike sometime soon. Good: my ear is getting better. Bad: must work hard to makeup for the 1 class i missed. Bad: have to go to work tonight. Good: i only have to work 5 hours. Good: am liking school thus far. Bad: stress~ stats scares me, i have broken out, gotten sick, and my hair is falling out.

what the...? Wednesday, September 10, 2003 10:44 a.m.

Duh. You are "But WHY's the rum gone?!"
You're not the smartest one in the bunch, but
you're sweetly appealing and you don't let
disappointment get to you. Everybody
identifies with you, because let's face it, why
IS the rum gone?

Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

soul caliber, ah memories... Tuesday, September 9, 2003 07:42 p.m.
not alot goings on. just been sleeping over half the day. second i got outta class i went back to sleep. i havent felt like working out lately, pretty soon i will be a blob. went over and played some soul caliber 2. part of the fun is choosing a different chara., especially if you figure out how to make their skirt fly up =) ahh memories...back in high school, matt, james, josh, lee, justin, me&chris, and amy would mecca to the crappy mall. in the crappy mall is a crappy arcade, but it's always empty & has room to go crazy-go-nuts in it. arcade guy was this cute asian guy, we never really found out his name just called him 'arcade guy'. he was always onto amy & me, i think we were the only girls to go in there in ages. he gave me a red chicken beaniebabe he got outta those claw machines once. said the red color made him think of me...this coming from a 20 year old to a 16 year old. sick little pedophile. but i know i always had my skirt rolled up to make it shorter, amy prolly did too...anyways....he always let us girls win whilst giving beatings to the guys. that always pissed them off. ah, those were the days. you didnt need talent to win games, just 2 Xchromosomes and a pair of tits.

hey d, when you gunna come get this cel phone from me? i might decide i need to call scotland on it. or maybe the artic circle...

blah Monday, September 8, 2003 04:20 p.m.
stayed up late last night watching tv and talkin to mike. woke up & went to class at 8, went back and crashed for 30 minutes. then saw the doctor finally, since my ear has been giving me hell. she gave me some meds that thankfully weren't antibotics. i still have yet to go to right aid and my ear is killing me, but i dont think i have the energy/strenght right now to walk to my car even. it sucks being sick, and i'm not even really that sick. it's just my ear screwing with me, plus not alot of sleep.

had fun in acting though. here's the scenrio: we're all in meditation in dead slience. father campbell:"ok everybody, just relax and focus." it's so quiet in there you can hear a pin drop. then someone farts. sam:"sounds like someone is relaxing too much." poor father campbell, it's like we're all back in middle school =) such a fun class. Owww...God it hurts! my friggin ear sucks. i need meds. looks like i'm draggin my ass to rite aid, i cant get a flunky to go for me.

spur of the moment Sunday, September 7, 2003 01:27 p.m.
went to new orleans last night on very short notice. me & russ were bored. around 9pm he suggested that it would be cool if we could go to NO, at 10pm we were on the road. got to see mike for an hour and was happy. then drove around downtown. we would have gone to a strip club but 1. there was nowhere to park and 2. we were getting tired. so we found a place to eat and headed back. i crawled in bed at 5am. i got 8 hours sleep but i still feel really foggy. i now have to go to work for 8 hours. i'm dead tired but it was worth it =)am a happy girl.

not in a good mood... Friday, September 5, 2003 10:28 a.m.
last night i and about everyone my side of the hall were woken up by totall ass-hats. it's generally not nice to play gituar, sing and party in the hallway at 2am. i dont care how drunk you are, dont ever wake me up. and dont EVER fucking wake me up singing "mama dont let your babies grow up to be cowboys.." take it elsewhere or i will snatch off your limbs and beat you senseless with them. i was putting on clothes to go out to tell them to shut up when the RA did. so everything finally got quiet at 2:30am. then around 7:30am my neighbor across the hall starts to freak out. anna is the biggest bitch to begin with, you really dont want her pissed off. well she was very pissed off b/c someone took her stupid 'sexy badger' sign. so for those asshats: look i know anna is the least sexiest bitch in the world, but for the love of Christ give her the Gdamn sign back so she will stop bitching... and God help you if you ever fucking wake me up playing country again.

speaking of mcs.... Thursday, September 4, 2003 11:14 p.m.
hey d, i just got done talking to katie. little miss my-goal-in-life-is-to-get-married. the southern belle talks like she's 30 instead of 21. "i can't do ___. i'm a married woman now! i have responsiblities..." bullocks to that! we ALL know that all she does is watch Oprah, WE, and Lifetime. married life seems too much like the ball and chain to me, but she's ever so happy to have completed her mission in life. now she wants to breed *shudders* oh the horror...they are doing ok though. she's workin at a daycare and he manages a dollar general with his meterology degree. they are very well off compared to stacey & daniel. but then, alot of people are doing well compared to stacey & daniel. exactly how she cheats around on daniel while 8 months preggers is beyond me. *is very grossed out* and it pisses me off she just wants to sit on her ass and get government aid. she can't take care of a kid, she can't even take care of herself...*sigh* so everytime i look at the taxes taken outta my paychecks i can think happily how it will go to the stacey bowling fund. ugh...did anyone at MCS ever come out NORMAL?

psychos... MCS-style Tuesday, September 2, 2003 10:56 p.m.
dina, not only am i suprized ryan standford is in your terrorism class, i'm blown away the by the fact he's actually IN college. i was certain he wasted away his last brain cell MCS-style on beer & weed in sophmore year...guess i was mistaken... remember that time they gave the drums to those crack heads and let them walk around and beat on them? it was exactly like that monkey scene in 2001 space odyssey!!*dies laughing*.

but i would be more afraid if mitch terry was in that class...b/c mitch would learn techniques on how to be a better psycho. i'll never forget the time when he told us he'd go ballistic and shoot everyone at school. he said he'd make his way home with hostages. then he said he would save me & james for last; so the police still might be able to get to us before he killed and ate us... really knew how to make a girl feel special, mitch terry did...

things that puzzle me Tuesday, September 2, 2003 01:01 p.m.
college life experience has given me much to ponder about. 2 things more than others: one of those things being girls. girls just plain out fascinate me. some are just like walking art. i see things they do (and sadly i dont catch myself doing on my own) and they intrigue me. just how they move, look, dress, play with their hair, and talk with other girls. i'm a friggin girl myself and i can't talk to other girls. then of course they are just nicer to look at then the guys i hang out with, prolly alot cleaner too. another thing that puzzles me is the cold; by itself and also in its relation to girls. i used to be all warm and normal temperature b/c of my wonderful insulation (ie. fat). now if i'm inside i'm basically cold. outside it's too fucking hot but i freeze inside. at the moment i'm wearing 2 pairs of socks, long pants, and 2 shirts. it's really hard to sit and pay attention about tort reform when you are freezing your ass off. none of the guys i notice are having this problem. is this part of the cold-female phenomena? oh well, i've wasted enough time typing about nothing...cheers.

un-labor day Monday, September 1, 2003 06:26 p.m.
well not alot happening. internet is out in the dorms but not in the lab. but i managed to keep myself busy. the rest of saturday was spent going on beer runs for neighbors and watching MST3K with russ til 3 am. i remember bitching at russ about cramps and he told me "yeah, i dont trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die." oi, russ what would i do without ya? i crawled into work sunday with 5 hours sleep. me and russ hung out more watching yet more mst3k and adult swim. after that we got bored and thumb-wrestled (yeah...that's sad aint it?). i then kicked him out and went to bed around 4 am and woke up at 1pm. this is the first time i've been able to sleep in in weeks i think. prolly will be the last time for awhile. i got outta bed, pulled up the blinds and saw the guys going down to lunch. so figured i'd go as well. then i went out to get some shoes in the wonderful labor day sales. came back, took a shower and listened to evanscense while studying. now am taking a break from studying. so that's been my labor day weekend. not alot. i'm off next saturday so maybe i can go do something worth really writing about then =)

bored bored BORED Saturday, August 30, 2003 07:48 p.m.
you'd think a 21 year old female college student on a saturday night would be off doing a clip for girlsgonewild or at least out of the house. and yet here i am alone, in my pjs, eating cookies. am sad. but i guess with my computer to keep me company, i dont need people right? ah, my first step into becoming a hermit... but i'm still bored.

no laboring for me Saturday, August 30, 2003 02:02 a.m.
i found out i dont have to work labor day. yippie skippie =)and i get it paid holiday too. now...what will i do with my day of un-labor? not a damn clue. anything but homework. i should prolly get to bed now, i have to be there at 9am. *sigh* i dont want to go...

100,000 billion points for me Friday, August 29, 2003 09:43 a.m.
this morning i was a good girl. 100,000 billion points for emily. but like 'whose line is it anyway' the points prolly dont even really matter...pale, palms sweaty and muscles twitchy i went to stats. just call me Tweak. i'm pretty sure the only way i can get over this is going to each and every fuckin class. if i fail again i swear i'll prolly go uuber ballistic like vegeta and a half. i really dont know what i'm even afraid of, but once i'm there i'm there. my stomach was in knots and my muscles were so tense they hurt. it wasnt even hard i semi know this stuff. either way i'm still really glad i dont have to be there again til next wednesday. why cant it be summer again and i can be free of stats?? my chest really hurts from being too tight and my hands are really un steady but i'm good. as reward i'm going to go shopping/hunting for something later. so that is cool....oh shite i need to go get my paycheck. laters.

this majorly sucks Thursday, August 28, 2003 11:22 p.m.
i am seriously scared piss-less of going to stats tomorrow. i'm starting to shake just thinking about it. this isnt good. not fucking good at all. what if i go in there and spaz out? having a fucking panic attack in the middle of class would totally suck ass. i need to talk to dr. simpson, but i dont wanna be singled out any further as the weird kid. i dont know what makes me do this. i remember when i had my first one at 12. we were snow skiing in colorado...geeze, how fun is that to freak out in front of your family... i am forever labeled wimp. it didnt get really bad til college. more stress i guess. it starts as trimbling and i start to cry. then when i'm crying i cant breathe. then i start to hyper-ventilate. then i cant stop doing that. then i get dizzy and tingly. but if i can calm down to a degree i can stop from passing out. so that's good at least.

its not even really that bad a class when i try to be rational. i mean, i have notes from last time i took it and he teaches the same thing over again. he's even a really nice teacher. but just the thought of walking in there gives me the fuckin jeebees. i'll be a good girl and at least try, but if i start to cry i'm out the door.

i like mammaries Thursday, August 28, 2003 11:25 a.m.
finally figured out the source of negitivity and moodiness, my arch-nemsis PMS strikes once again. no wonder i've been an emotional fuckwit lately. it sucks being female but at least i get cool mammaries. aww yeah.

i love adult swim Wednesday, August 27, 2003 11:41 p.m.

yay! cowboy bebop is back, plus inu yasha. sweet. they can keep big o.

feeling better Wednesday, August 27, 2003 12:55 p.m.
after alot of thinking, crying, being overly-self-critical, trying to read on richard II, ect. i got tired of it and took a shower. i tried to chill out, stop spazzing, and think. i learned a lesson though, never try to think deep thoughts and shave at the same time. ouch. i get razor burn like a bitch. i did my hair and put on some nice clothes. what can i say, i look better now at least. the working out is paying off. so even if i am a moody bitch i can work to be a good lookin one. i think my hair straightener gave up the ghost. whenever i'm being lazy/dont care, my hair is very curly. like a shirley temple on crack, i get little ringlets. even more so since my hair is getting long and i moved in mobile hall, it must be the city water here or something. well, whenever i get my paycheck i'll go get a new one. i dont think i've had my hair this long in years. i'm not ready yet to depart with it.

well, i've been looking for a solution and i must say i am really persuaded to turn my english minor into an english major. i wont do it just yet though, i gotta look into this shite. i have plenty of time to try and work it out in psych and i can drop stats anytime before october. i'll talk to dr. sauer or kaffer or something. wtf would i do with an english major? i still ponder about law school, but i cant make it through fucking stats....anyways. dr. mac isnt here to help me in the psych area. i'll talk to the english dept. guys and see what i can do. geeze, 2 weeks into the semester and i want to change. i hope i'm not going insane.

bad fucking morning Wednesday, August 27, 2003 10:10 a.m.

i can't keep doing this to myself every MWF at 8 am. i had a painic attack this time. it threw me way off guard, i mean, who has these things right when they wake up? i usually get them when i am really keyed up about something, or stressed the hell out. what and why the fuck at 8am?? i honestly dont know why i am so afraid of stats. fear of failure? it's honeslty not that bad. ok, it's bad for me then. yeah it's a hard class, but holy shit it shouldnt be doing this to me. it's like all my insecurities rolled into a 50 minute class, i should be better than this. it gets so hard to breathe yet i do it at 80mph. then i cant control it and usually pass out. i ran back into my room, cried and hyperventilated on the floor for a good while. so i didnt go to stats this morning.

in the mean time, while feeling extreme guilt and over-all negitivity, i'm still really fuckin glad i didnt go to stats. but i decided once i was better to go to the gym. i just cant keep wimping out and not get some kinda retribution. so i gave myself a hard work out, and though very painful it was still more enjoyable than stats would ever be. somehow i knew i wouldnt hyper-spaz all over the gym, and i didnt. so that's one point for emily. while on the stair machine i was thinking really fucking hard about this. how in the world am i going to graduate with a psych degree if i cant even make it past stats??? after stats i have to do experimental, research methods ect. changing my major just because i cant make it through one class seems soo trivial. all my fears are trivial too but i'll be GDamned if i have these attacks every day. stats has held me back enough though, i might be in college longer anyways. if i changed major this fucking far along would it be that huge of a difference? the only thing that makes me freak out about all this is my parents. i dont wanna let them down. but i couldn't blame them for getting pissed at me for being such a fucking wimp. hell, i'm mad at myself for being such a fucking wimp. making them pay for me changing my mind this GD semester isnt right b/c that's a whole lotta GD money. i'm just really fucking angry right now. all at myself. it still hurts to move from the workout but it somehow makes me feel better. my moody ass is gunna go read shakespeare homework now. God, i have issues.

blah Tuesday, August 26, 2003 04:36 p.m.

k...apparently it is vertually impossible for mobile hall (of losers) to have both electricity and internet. what in three hells is going on here? anyways, i did basically nothing today. i sleep all the time, barely eating or moving. i think i am evolving into a sloth. went to the eye doctor to get some normal contacts. and it's also about damn time i get new glasses. hopefully i will get some soon. high density too (thank you God for technology) so they wont be thick/heavy. b/c let's face it, i'm nearly blind. but i'm always told i look cute in glasses, so it wont be so bad. well, i'm gunna to go eat soon, finally. how now, i hear russ calling me...

lights out Monday, August 25, 2003 01:26 a.m.

while i nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping. as if someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door... it was my neighbor asking me if the fuckin power was out in my room. which it mostly was, i dont really know when since i was reading richard II, ie. sleeping. it's been v. odd all afternoon and most of the night. what i get is everything but no lights. and my fire alarm started to make annoying sounds but my manly neighbor managed to rip it off for me. nothing like raw violence at defense-less mechanical objects. my neighbor to the left gets nothing, while the one across the hall gets everything. everyone shouts "fuck! again at the top of their lungs when the power goes out. and without the AC it's really humid and dank in there. around midnight i got tired of the gituarblues orgy outside in the hall and got my laundry and went home. so here i am. woot. i'll be back with a vengence tomorrow.

Ode to the Swedish Guys: They all strut, May have a nice butt, Are built like a tree, But between you and me, Look queer wearing pink knit hats.

there. but these guys are so very hetero/striaght its awesome. these guys are super secure with thier man-hood enough to wear pink shirts and stuff. oh wait, they are just super cool european =). they are so fuckin huge no guy would ever call them a fag or anything. i think it's great, it amuses me so.

the afterglow Sunday, August 24, 2003 01:06 a.m.
well it has been quite a day. woke up and goofed around with mike. he fixed my cable and my internet connection, also cured the blue kitty all in one day! a girl could get used to this...heh heh heh. aj and fulite spent alot of time laughing at me today at work as i proved myself stupid and use-less. i couldnt stop grinning at everything. and it's pretty damn sick when you are smiling/giggling at coffee pots. then costumers were all friendly and were grinning back at me, thinking i was being polite or something, or maybe just retarded...well, it's late now and i needs to get a shower and get some sleep. it's been a long good day.

feelin good Friday, August 22, 2003 12:38 p.m.
aww yeah. living here rocks. i really enjoy livin here as much as i tend to bitch about it. yeah it has it's draw backs, but it still is way better than living across town at home. there are so many cool people here. much more males and hot females than i thought were here too. and i can alternate where i sleep, on the floor or by the ceiling. i dont know why that amuses me so. i also enjoy watching russ and other guys in the philosphy club agrue and bitch at each other. it is quite a sight to see.

after working out for abit with matt (well not really, he prefers the walking machine while i'd rather walk/run around the gym. i mean, i cant just walk in one place, that is pointless. i'd feel like one of those mice in a wheel or something). so after 30 mins of that i had to go to work and get my paycheck. i am rich =) then i had to go and get some food (b/c usually when i get off work, cloister is closed so i need to eat somehow). then i went to get a bite to eat. i was hit again by low, freshman-like, self esteem when cafe was getting full. but i found a spot by some chicks from walsh hall. now i'm killing time til shakespeare. God i love that class. i'll be there early so i can get a good seat, it's a totally full class. i love it. it proves for alot of reading but it's totally worth it to me.

and in other news, mike is coming TONIGHT. yay! *squeals like a girl* i cant wait to see him again. i just hope i dont pounce on him in front of everyone or something. i missed him alot. i havent had alot of time to really think about him coming since i've been really busy. but i am really really happy he is.

accident prone Friday, August 22, 2003 08:04 a.m.
still ain't got internet, cable, or a fire alarm. i should really get up off my ass and just leave my ra a message. well, i have stats next. it makes me sooo depressed i want to hang myself. but after that me & matt will go workout together so that wont be so bad. well, i dont know about that. matt is the most accident prone person in this hemisphere. you gotta stay 5 or more feet away from him at all times, just so when lightening strikes him you are ok. it's rubbing off on me though, this morning i nearly ate the floor when i got off the ladder too soon. ladders in the morning arent that great. *sigh* well, off to stats now.

a bitchin' i will go Thursday, August 21, 2003 06:51 p.m.
well, school has truly begun. everything is peachy keen except for stats at 8:15. otherwise i am totally loving MWF, b/c after that i have shakespeare with Kaffer, then acting with father Campbell. it kicks total ass. i would be in approaches to pyschotherapy right now, but there's trouble since Dr. Mac is sick. he has prostate cancer surgury soon so they are still kinda digging up teachers. but we were in there with a replacement for 10 mins and allowed to leave.

well, all is well. i LOVE dorm life. except of course for the fact that internet is up all over campus except for my room. my cable is broken too, along with my fire alarm... it just kinda dangles from the ceiling. so now that i got a night off work i can go bitch to my RA. hurrah! a bitchin' i will go!

i'm also extremely happy b/c tomorrow mike will come visit. he's gunna spend the night =) yay! all i have to do is pretend sick at work still, but i dont care b/c i get to see mike. i think russ is sick of me mentioning mike though, i know he still likes me and all. i like him too but sometimes i get the feeling he's trying to seduce me. must be my imagination. he's a lonely guy though, maybe it's still possible for me to hook him up with Dina =) hey d, wanna date with the horniest guy on campus?? hehehe, come on. he's a really good friend though. considering i really only know 2 people on campus, he's been really great to me. i feel like a dumbass freshmen most the time and have to call him up about stuff. like where the lundry room is, how the hell do i do this checking messages thingy, ect. then we all eat dinner together. i ate lunch by myself the other day, man i feel like a loser sometimes.

always nap with pants on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 07:49 p.m.
well, i thought i had everything from home but i got something in the mail i had ordered earlier today. so i drove out here yet again to get it. on the bright side, i now reap the satiny bounty of shopping at victoriassecret.com. go me.

when i got back to my dorm i did nothing. it started raining, so i grabbed a book. i never read catcher in the rye before. so far it's good, but the kid has some very manic behavior. it drives me nuts b/c thats how byran used to talk and be like. he'd lie about anything, like holden, and would talk rantly about nothing too. that's all i need right now, to be reminded of past mistakes(aka crazy boyfreinds). i put the book down for now. i was finally able to sleep and had a good 4 hour nap. my throat still sounds as stratchy as hell. my mom called, told me my order was in and i went back to sleep. i heard a knock on the door, i said 'come in' and in came this really hott RA with a computer lady. so here i am, half asleep on the floor, with no pants on under my sheets, and struck dumb by handsome ra. he tried to strike up a conversation but i was too sleepy and shy, trying to keep hidden under the cover. i mean, i just woke up i looked like hell. a sleepy emily is not a thing to behold. but he was nice and liked my tori amos posters. then he left awkwardly after he and i couldnt think of anything else to say and let the computer lady do her thing. she said the internet should be up soon at shc hopefully. while she was still there my boss called me wanting to know my work hours. i was thinking 'fuck fuckity fuck' b/c i wasnt sure what to tell her yet. but i gave her a guessimate. well, mike & russ called me. i feel soo much better now. yay! no more moody shadow, just self now. i'm gunna go catch up with russ.

pain & suffering...Welcome to the Dark Side Tuesday, August 19, 2003 11:05 a.m.
*whew* i finally got a day off work only to run around like a chicken with its head cut off. it's really hot outside, or as james would say "it's hotter than 2 rats fuckin' under a furnice." it's so damn humid. last night after working 3 to 11pm i had to go to walmart to get some food. by far my biggest accomplishment was getting the microwave up to my room. try hauling a huge fucking box up the stairs, after an extremely long work day & head cold... and it's funny how when you carry like 5 bags of lite stuff, guys offer to help you left, right, and center. but despite all the work, heat, and extreme exhaustion i can't sleep. my body just lies in pain most the time, every single one of my muscles hurt. and i still cant sleep.

well i woke up after 4 hours sleep to go register. on MWF i have stats at 8:15 (stats in the a.m. yet again, i think i am going to cry) then shakespeare at 1:30 (God i love english classes, always there to up my gpa). and on MW only i have acting class at 2:30 (sounds fun, gives me more hours, and maybe i can learn how to fake sick outta work). TTH i have criminology at 8:15, soc. of law at 9:45. and on Thursday nights i have approaches to psychotherapy at 6. so that's my 18 hours. this is the oddest schedule i've EVER had. and i am sooo going to need mental help after this, especially stats. i hate it. and i mean HATE. i usually turn to self mutiliation b/c it makes me so angry. maybe i can go blow up something after class to feel better. ah, there's nothing like good ole fashioned violence, hate, pain and anger...woah i think i'm turning to the dark side. or in a psych view, my shadow is not being repressed.

well i am yet again at my house to loot and plunder, since internet connection at school isnt up yet. damnit. well, it's my day off and i'm basically done with most of the grunt work. i'm gunna go try to relax if i have time.

mobile hall (of infamy) Monday, August 18, 2003 11:20 a.m.
well, it's offical. i'm moved out. YAY! spent sunday saying goodbye to dale & co, packing and went in to work at 5. so my family did quite alot in a few hours. i really like my room, especially the part about only me being in there. it's a great space for 1 person, but i dont know how the hell 2 people could live there. when my mom went to shc, they would fit 3 people in a room that size. scary. but anyways, i have marked my territory. it's fuckin awesome to be out of the house. it was worth it to haul all my crap up to the 3rd floor. my neighbor is really hot too, he's got this longish curly hair. me like long hair.... the other neighbor is a whore i know from my pysch classes.

so yesterday night, after moving all afternoon i went in to work. i'm taking meds for my ear infection that really slow me down. so i took a bontril to speed me up again. the result: a hyper-active and still very sick emily. i guess its a good thing i was so active at work, sundays are a bitch there. sundays at the B&Ns are sooo very busy, dont these people have lives??? then after work i got back to the dorm and tried to clean up. later hung out with russ, the mighty fixer of tvs and computers. we stayed up til 4am just hanging out. we still cant get my dvd player to work yet. it's all beyond me and my knowledge. my internet connection is not up yet but will be soon =) right now i'm at home, looting it for food. well, go with rock!

still punkass at heart... Saturday, August 16, 2003 01:30 p.m.
well, dale & co are here. they all seem to be doing well and shanna gets taller every time i see her. dale also looks more like daddy every time i see him... i think it's funny. they are all out right now to lunch & then prolly visit grandma. i wish i could go =( but i have to get ready soon for work as it is. and my ear is killing me, i always get an ear infection in the same one too.

well, today i bit the bullet and cleaned out my closet. yes, the apocolypse indeed approaches. i still didnt have the will to throw out my old goth stuff. i guess somewhere inside me i still want to be a raver and 18 again, so sad on my part. but then again, you never know when you'll need see thru mesh shirts, kitty ears, leather, pleather, and other random stuff. i did throw out the old vinyl corset, man that thing was ragged and hasnt fit right in years. when you get hips at 19 it's all downhill from there. well, i'm off to work now *sigh* i dont want to go to work...

faking it Saturday, August 16, 2003 12:54 a.m.
turns out today was actually supposed to be Amandas last day at B&N, but she just didnt feel like showing up. this, of course, screwed up things. my boss was v. pissy, and aj had to stay 2 hours late to cover for her. we all swaped schedules around for a day so it was odd. it was just me and futile tonight though. he's sooo goofy but a smart guy at computers at least. he asked me what color my hair was...so i take it he's not one for the ladies. maybe i'm just not red enough anymore. i could dye it bright tori amos red again, but i dont have the money atm and red fades fast.

well, my only true difficulty in life now will be to fake sick on friday the 22. me & nicole looked at the schedule and it is DAMN near impossible for anyone to cover that day ( joanne has fucked the crap out of everyones schedule ) nicole came up with a wonderful solution and prolly the only way i could get outta this: Fake It. i have to fake sick all friday night so i can get that saturday off. i mean, we were trying to calculate it and everyone but one person working at some shift on saturday. and that person has 2 other jobs, so she is out. this is so weird. no wonder i'm working so much, my boss isnt hiring more people... but we will test this out and see how well my acting skills are. i really want that day off, and it would def. be worth it to me =) and who knows, maybe i CAN pull off an ocsar winning performance. too bad i am an awful liar. i was in 2 plays in highschool, and they were pretty bad... ok, very bad.... jane austins' emma wasnt meant to be turned into a play and shown to an adolescent audience; that wasnt my frickin fault. and so what if we wanted to add a dueling scene, the play needed it to cover for the bad british accents.... oh well. it will all happen next friday ~the performance is free and all ages welcome!~ it'll be fun. i'm sure i can think of something by then, i always do. it'll definitely be worth it to me.

and the emily gives homage to the dina, for the invation into her lair. the emily is currently held captive, otherwise it would have fled long ago, and is now on the endangered species list. please save/adopt an emily today.

new plans, hopefully not to be foiled... Friday, August 15, 2003 01:22 a.m.

ok, i archived all my old stuff (conveniently labeled 'Old Stuff') on the right. why? because i can. *insert evil laugh here*

in other news, tonight was amandas last night at B&Ns. i will miss her & her freaky-deaky ways. most the people that joined since i have been there have left. except for Futile, he's ultra new. now all that are here is me, futile, aj, dee dee, lula, nicole and joanne. if futile, nicole and aj leave, i'm going with them. and also, looks like dale and them are still coming for this weekend. so looks like i will be playing barbie with my niece & getting no sleep very shortly. but i will also move out on sunday and register for class tuesday. class starts wednesday...ugh.

but i still have hope, b/c next weekend there is a very good chance i will get to see mike. yay! but slight obstactales. first off, i will have to get that saturday off-i can do that easily enough i think. second, my uncles b-day party is that day from 4-7pm. still dont know what to do about that...i dont even know where in friggin fairhope it is. but it's all cool, i'll figure something out. damn, i have quite alot on my mind. between this saturday and next saturday i have alot of stuff going on. i hope i dont spaz out.

my plans-FOILED again Thursday, August 14, 2003 12:55pm

dale called last night and they are going to stay with us this weekend. AND they are bringing shanna with them. my mom called again to see if they could come next saturday, since they'd be able to drop in on my uncle jimmys party and give us some time. no such luck. this foils my plans b/c shanna is coming & they picked a bad weekend. she follows/worships me and wants me to play barbies with her. i can do this for a few hours, but after a whole weekend my patience is shot. plus, i just cant replace the fact that i'm not all that great with kids. being with shanna is the best form of birth control EVER, but i dont want to ruin the fact that she loves aunt em the bestest.... so what shall i do? i'm guessing either stay out of the house alot or be at work alot. i dont know what's going to happen and sadly it is all beyond my control.

then i'm supposed to move this weekend. i guess that is good considering i'll have more manual labor to do my bidding, but they arent going to be happy about it. and i have acquired alot of junk for the dorm that i have put in dales room. i will have to move it back into my room and there will be no space left. *sigh* why cant they try this next weekend, when i'm already moved out??