Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 08:07 p.m.

Ah, another fun-filled day of school...*End sarcasm* Why is school so boring? The only good thing is my Electronics classes...I'm making progress with my program, so I'm happy ^^

I talked to Señora today, and she gave me the paperwork for GlobalFest this year...which just happens to be this Friday! *Facevaults* I thought it was in May! So, now I get to scramble to get everything filled out, and ready. Plus, I'll have to get my work from my teachers. Yay.

For those who don't know, GlobalFest is a convention-type gathering of foreign language students, teachers, etc. Given my interest in language (Spanish, as well as Japanese), I'm quite pleased to be going ^__^

Wow, short entry today...I guess it's 'cause I'm so boring ^_^v Well, I'm off to find entertainment elsewhere. *G*

Wednesday, March 5, 2003 - 04:34 p.m.

Ah, I'm in a good mood today ^_^ Sipes-sensei took a few of us students to a local community college for a program dealing with Tech Prep and computer programming. We just went straight there this morning; that means I got to miss my morning classes ^_^v. Now, I'd thought that this would be a thing that the various teachers brought their students to...in fact, it was normally just for the faculty; Sipes-sensei asked specially to bring us along. So, we sat and listened to this panel of people talk about programming a little.

Then, the collective faculty members tried to work out a class schedule that would help a student toward a career in computer programming...*Sweatdrop* They argued a lot about that...about math in particular. Apparently, almost none of the schools handle math in the same way. What I mean is, in our school, for example, Algebra II has Geometry mixed in, and Algebra III has Trig. Most of the other schools, had seperate books for Geometry and/or Trig. So we got to listen to the math teachers and the programming teachers (mostly Sipes-sensei) argue about how much math should be required. You have to have a good backing in Algebra, and Trig. The further you go in math, the better. End of story. *Shakes head slightly*

After they finished messing around with the class listing, we ate lunch. After that, we went and toured the campus a bit; we saw the computer labs, the server room in the Admin building, and a few other things. While we were looking at a piece of database software, one of the people that worked there (he'd been talking to Sipes-sensei), asked me if I was going to attend this college next year; he wanted to hire me as a student-worker! He didn't look too happy when I told him that I was going to SIU. ^^

After we finished the mini-tour, we headed back outside to the parking lot. Since it was already about 2:00, Sipes-sensei said that we could just go home ^_^v So that was nice. I got to miss school, and go home early. *G*

Now, I'm debating whether or not to start on that scholarship application essay...I'm rather bored at the moment; I wish I could talk to Jason, or else just settle down and watch some anime. ^_^

Saturday, March 1, 2003 - 06:05 p.m.

Ah, Saturday...I'm pleased ^_^ I slept well; I was tired from working at the basketball game last night. The Foreign Language Club was selling consessions, and since Señora Slider was short-handed, I agreed when she asked me to come help. Now, I've never been to a game before, but I hadn't expected there to be that many people there! *Sweatdrop* We were quite busy.

And, since my library books are due soon, I've been working on taking more notes for my research paper =P If nothing else, it gets my mind off of other things...

I swear...sometimes I think that there's something wrong with me when it comes to relationships. I never thought I'd end up one of those silly girls who is always in some crisis or other with her man...*Sigh* And yet, here I am. Recently, Jason asked me if, someday in the future, I'd like to marry him. I told him "I don't know"...I'd never really thought about it before. (Hey, I'm only 18) But, since then, I've thought about it a lot...and I realized that I can't see myself marrying Jason...EVER. I mean, sure I care about him, but he's just not the kind of guy I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. We're just too different...There are two major issues that immediately come to mind: kids and career.

I do not want to have children...EVER, a fact which he has known since the day he met me. He, on the other hand, does want kids. Whenever it comes up (as a possibility for the future), he always acts as if he thinks that I will "grow out of it", when it comes to my desire to never have children. Now, I've been getting this reaction to my decision from the moment that I first made it (from my mother, especially). This reaction has always annoyed me, but I've learned to ignore it. But, when it's coming from my boyfriend (the guy who has actually said that he would like to have children with me), it's more serious, because this is an issue that I am not willing to compromise on.

Another thing is career; I'm very career-minded. I know what I want to do, I want to be successful and get a good-paying job in the field that I love. He, on the other hand, (and he has told me this flat out) plans to do as little as possible in the way of getting a good job...He 'plans' to go to the local 2-yr college and get a small degree in art (he likes to draw), then get a simple job (like at a bookstore -- his example). The way he explained these ideas is that he will get a simple job, then be a "house husband"; that is, stay home and cook, clean, etc. Granted, I am what my friends call "domestically challenged"; I don't do the housewife act, and I probably never will, but I DO NOT like the idea of him basically living off of my salary. I work hard at my education to prepare for my chosen vocation, and I will work hard at it once I'm out in the workforce. He's my boyfriend, not my child. There's no reason that I should be expected to support him like that (unless there's a darn good reason; not that he's too lazy to get a real job)

Don't get me wrong; I care for him a lot. We get along pretty well (like good friends), but he's just not the kind of guy I could see myself settling down with. The thing is, while I'm developing more of a 'friend' mindset about him, he still loves me. At this point, I'm wondering if I should leave him before things get any more serious, or if I should just not worry about the future so much...

The bad thing is, while I'm wrestling with this little problem, I've found that I have trouble interacting with him. Every time he shows his affection, whether physically (holding my hand, etc) or verbally (saying he loves me), I find myself feeling uncomfortable, shying away, etc. I just don't know what to do with him...I want to tell him to just back off for a while, at least until I figure this out...but I don't know how to tell him so that he doesn't end up getting depressed. He's already having some problems, and is somewhat prone to depression...I don't want to make it worse. *Sigh* At this point, I just want to get this mess sorted out.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 05:10 p.m.

It's Wednesday...Since we got that snow day, I keep thinking that it's Tuesday ^^;; Believe it or not, we got more snow today...not enough to get us another snow day, though =P

*Whines* Why is it so darned cold around here, anyway? I'm all in favor of snow days, but I'm getting sick of being cold all the time =P I just want it to be summer ;_;

My day got off to a nice start, though. Wall-sensei gave us the entire period (this is 1st hour) to read that selection from Gulliver's Travels, but since I'd already finished it, I got to sit around and read my copy of Guardians of the West; yes, I've read it many times before, but I'm reading it again ^_^

I actually made some headway with my project in Electronics today; at least, I think I did....^^;; I got SQL to cooperate, and create the table, as well as the database...I couldn't get it to update, though =P After that, I moved on to tinker with using Windows API to call the common Open/Save dialog boxes...Now, I'm just trying to figure out how to load a file, and put it as the database that's tied to an ADODC.

Right now, I'm just happy to be home. At the moment, I'm doing my level best to forget about that scholarship application that I'm supposed to be writing a paper for. *Sigh* At least the topic for this one is decent, though; what should be done to fix the rising drug problem, or something like that. Later, I'll go inlist my parents' aid in this one; since they're both in law enforcement, they should be able to help me get started ^^

As for now, though, my homework is done, so I'm going to relax. Now, I just hope that my DVD-ROM will cooperate, so I can watch some anime ^^ *Crosses fingers*

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 - 07:56 p.m.

Ah, the start of another week. *Smiles* We got quite a bit of snow (and ice ^^) over the weekend, so we got a snow-day on Monday ^_^v Granted, this was a good thing anyway, but especially considering that I was half-sick and I really can't afford to miss any more school =P So, I slept in and spent the remainder of the day playing Final Fantasy VII! ^___^

Upon returning to school today, Wall-sensei decided that we should be forced to read a selection from Gulliver's Travels. This was from the second section (where he meets the giants) and was around 40 pgs long..*Drains into a puddle* ...So...boring...Argh. =P

And, again, in Electronics class, I spent much time waging war with SQL and VB =P If I can't find something useful by tomorrow, I'm going to resort to posting on the Code Guru Forums and hope that some kind soul will help me out ^^;;

As for the rest of tonight, I'm just going to relax, talk with Jason (who I'm talking on the phone with at this moment ^^;;), and watch NYPD Blue at 9! Yay! ^___^

Saturday, February 22, 2003 - 10:04 p.m.

@_@ Aiya...Despite having slept for 9 1/2 hours last night, I'm still tired. I spent bulk of the morning laying around and watching whatever movie happened to come on TV (Princess Diaries and John Q) *Sigh* Besides being tired, I think I'm coming down with something...my throat's scratchy, and my sinuses are starting to act up a little. =P Right now, the last thing I need is to get sick. I'm still behind at school from the last time I was out sick ;_;

Besides not feeling entirely well, Jason has been MIA today. I finally got around to installing mIRC, and had my brother teach me a little about it. I got it installed, connected, everything. Yet, I talked to no one. Nearly every channel I tried was empty, or the ones that were occupied, the people just kinda sat there...in complete silence. (Granted, I was no better, but I didn't know what to do =P) So, I've basically sat around all day, with no one to talk to, being bored out of my mind. Not fun...but at least my internet works; it was down for much of last night.

The one bright side of today (besides not being at school, that is) is that I was able to get a pretty good connection to both WinMX and Kazaa, and I got to download quite a few songs that I'd been after for a while. My new music kick is old country songs that I used to listen to when I was little -- Don't laugh. I live in the middle of nowhere, Illinois, so I grew up on country music. I'm kinda picky about it; I don't like the really old twangy stuff, or the sad sob-story stuff. I only like the faster-paced, catchy stuff ^_^;;

My current favorite rediscovered song is "I Wanna Fall In Love" by Lila McCann...When I was younger, I liked this song because it had a good melody. Now, I can actually relate to it...very well. ^^ *Sings*

"I wanna fall in love
I wanna feel that touch
I've only dreamed about it, I've been livin' without it
And that ain't good enough
I wanna fall in love..."

Thursday, February 20, 2003 - 07:41 p.m.

^^;; Now that I'm home, I'm getting bored. And you all know what happens when I get bored: I take quizes! Yay!

What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.

Thursday, February 20, 2003 - 04:30 p.m.

Even though we had a really short week, I'm still glad that tomorrow's Friday ^^

For one thing, I've been kinda tired lately...I swear, Señora thinks that I'm sleep deprived; this week, I've spent most of her class (2nd hour) yawning like crazy ^^;; It's not like the class is boring or anything like that; I just can't help it. @_@

I got an interesting assignment from Wall-sensei today...Since we're studying Samuel Johnson, we have to write our own Dictionary, filled with non-traditional words; you know, like slang, unusual jargon, etc. So, of course, mine will essentially be the Otaku's Dictionary ^^ I plan to fill it with terms unique to the anime/web community (leaving out some of the more colorful terms, of course) This should be interesting ^_^

Well, today at lunch I got a letter in the mail, saying that I'm elligible to receive a scholarship from the Department of Computer Science at SIU. This is good, anyway, but I'm even happier because there's no essay! All I have to do is fill out the application and get two letters of recommendation from my teachers. ^_^ I've already asked them, and I've filled out the application all ready. Hopefully I'll get it!

Today, during 7th hour, I finally made up the Literature test that I missed when I was out sick last time. I have two words to describe it...the horror...Since it was a make-up test, it was different than a normal test; it was just 5 essay questions. Heh. 'Just' 5. Of the 5, 2 of the questions dealt with material that I didn't know I was supposed to read. Yeah, that was fun. I just guessed, and wrote down a bunch of crap; maybe Wall-sensei will prove herself a saint, and give me credit for trying.

One thing that surprised me was, one of these unknown reading assignments was part of the Bible! For Kami's sake, whatever happened to the seperation of church and state?! Don't get me wrong; technically I'm a Christian (I say technically, because I really don't follow any religious doctrine). I have nothing against any religion (it's the zealots and bigots that I hate), but I've always felt that religion of any kind should NOT be forced on students. Can anyone say 'First Amendment'? =P

Okay, okay, end rant ^^;;

Monday, February 17, 2003 - 06:27 p.m.

Ah, Presidents' Day...here in small-town Southern Illinois, that means NO SCHOOL! *Is happy* Yes, I got to sleep in for an extra day...It was good. ^_^

Since my mother worked second shift today (3pm-11pm), she didn't have enough time to take me to Best Buy (so I could spend what little money I have ^^;;). Thinking it futile, I asked her if I could just take the car and go by myself...and she shocked me by saying yes! Now, as anyone who knows me can testify, I hate to drive. (Yes, I am one of the ONLY teenagers who will say this) Thus, I almost never drive myself anywhere. (This being why I asked my mother to drive me in the first place.) But, since I start college this fall (and I'm going to commute), my mother has decreed that I must begin driving more; so I'll get used to it (and get better, of course ^^;;)

Despite this, I was surprised that she agreed; we got quite a bit of snow last night, and some of the roads are really slushy. Needless to say, my grandmother freaked out when I told her I was going (precisely why I didn't tell her until the minute that I was leaving. ^^

As I was heading down the highway, I happened to glance at the gas gauge; it was almost empty. Had I not needed my hands on the wheel, I would have slapped myself upside the head. I'd forgotten to check it before I left...and there was no way that what little was left in the car would get me there and back. So I had to stop in the next town and get gas. Normally, this would be no big deal...an annoyance, nothing more. But, since I never drive, I've only put gas in the car ONE time before...and that time, the attendant pumped it for me. This time, I had to pump it. So I was a little freaked out. Yes, I quickly learned that it is not hard to pump your own gas, but I was still kinda frazzled.

After I gassed up the car, I headed on my way. Luckily, the main roads (the ones I needed to use) weren't slushy, so I was able to get where I was going without further trouble. After looking around for a while, I ended up purchasing a copy of Vol. 3 of Koutstsu Tenshi Kurumi (Steel Angel Kurumi).

As I was coming home, it was just starting to get a little dark. Suddenly, the phone rang, and I about jumped out of my skin. ^^;; I'd forgotten that this car had a car-phone in it ('cause we almost never drive it anymore). And, of course, I'd almost forgotten how to use it...I managed, though. It was my mother calling...She just realized that the car probably needed gas...*Sweatdrops* Just a little late on that particular newsflash...

A little while after okaasan called, I heard the radio announcer listing off school closings for tomorrow. (Hey, I said that we got snow; quite a bit, actually). And he said that schools in my county would be closed. I was a little surprised by this; they almost never give us snow days...for anything. So, when I got home, I got online and went to the local TV news station's website (they list school closings). Sure enough, on their site, it said the same. So I guess I get another day off ^___^

Now, I'm off to watch my new Koutetsu Tenshi Kurumi episodes. ^_^v

Saturday, February 15, 2003 - 08:20 p.m.

I got bored today, so I changed the layout (and the name even!) ^^;; This silly little blog will henceforth be known as Vulpine Musings; a little reference to my online handle of 'Kitsune'. ^_^v Also, the blog now matches my personal site a little better (I used the same color scheme). Plus, I archived my previous entries again.

And now, with this layout change completed, I must go and wash my hair, or else. Or else, what, you ask? Trust me, you don't wanna know >.<