I found this here.

1. Do you shave? Yes...
2. What do you shave? ...My legs and underarms...What else would I?
3. Why? ...Just because?
4. What color is your razor? I dunno...
5. What size is your bed? Full.
6. Do you like it? I'd rather have a King size. ^^
7. You're going on a date for a walk around the lake, then a coffee at a cafe. What do you wear FROM your closet? Jeans and a comfy t-shirt...same as always.
8. Would you go naked in a bathtub with a naked old man/woman, with each of you having a bar of soap, and soap each other till the bars of soap run out for a million dollars?: No way!
9. If you woke up one morning and found out you were going to stay in the body you have now for the rest of your life, what would you think? *Shrugs* I don't really care...I'd be okay with it.
10. If World War III broke out, you'd say? Aww.. shit.
11. Which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most? My family.
12. What's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you off? Anything overly revealing, body piercings, or anything else that stupid.
13. What's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you on? *Shrugs* I dunno.
14. What do you think of soul mates? I believe that mine's out there, somewhere.
15. Is the world screwed? Pretty much, yeah.
16. Is cussing a necessity in life? No, but it'd sure be hard to stop.
17. What's an object you can't live without? My computer or my books.
18. Can you live without the microwave? Not a chance. I don't cook, thus I adore microwavable food!
19. You have this uh, erotic dream about your friend of the opposite sex. How do you act and feel around that friend the next day? I can't see myself having such a dream, but if I did, I'd probably avoid the person and blush strongly when in their presence.
20. Would you rather be rich with 15 spoiled brats or just barely making it with a dog? Are you kidding? You couldn't saddle me with one child, let alone fifteen...Not for all the anime in Japan! I'll take the dog, thanks.
21. How's your schoolwork for you right now? No schoolwork at the moment...
22. What's something someone's done to make you hold a grudge against them? Nothing I can think of...
23. Favorite weather? Sunny, but cool.
24. What's one look/trait that attracts you to a guy/girl? guy: I don't really have any set preferences about looks.
25. What's one personality trait that attracts you to a guy/girl? He should be gentlemanly, loving and romantic.
26. Do you know what 143 means? Um...an odd number??
27. Who's phone number are you hoping to get? No one's
28. Describe melancholy: When you just feel "blue"...kinda down, but not really depressed.
29. Describe mellow: When you're kinda calm...imperturbable...etc.
30. Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not? Neither, really. I don't actively believe or disbelieve.
31. What time did you sleep last night? I dunno...
32. Which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now? My soul mate...Only problem is, I haven't met him yet. =P
33. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf? No.
34. Would you rather be married in Venice, Italy, or Honolulu, Hawaii? I wouldn't care, as long as I was marrying my soul mate.
35. Would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life? Pasta!
36. (Guys) How would you feel if you gave a girl a flower? (Girls) How would you feel if you got a flower from a guy? I'd get all warm and fuzzy inside, assuming that I didn't dislike the guy.
37. Do you want to drop school? Nope.
38. What do you think of the phrase, "no pain, no gain"? Probably true, but I'm too lazy to test it! XD
39. What do you think of the quote "Eyes are the passageways into the soul?" *Shrugs* It could be true...
40. What do you think of sleep? I love it.
41. If you had the chance to slow down your growth now and live to 500 years but it's like a 50 year old body by then, would you go for it? Yes, but only if I could do the same for my loved ones. I couldn't stand living that long all alone...
42. At one point in a girl/guy friendship will one of them like each other even if it's only for a little bit? Probably.
43. Are you a procrastinator? Yup, and a damn good one, too!
44. Waffles or pancakes? Waffles, I guess.
45. How's your cereal in your bowl? I don't eat much cereal.
46. What's an annoying trait about you? I'm short tempered and prone to complain a lot.
47. Football or rugby? Neither. I hate most sports.
48. Hat or visor? Neither. I don't go outside enough to need them. ^^
49. (Guys) Your gf has long beautiful hair which you love, she comes to school the next day with a short crop cut. What do you HONESTLY think? (Girls) Your bf has hair you love. He comes to school the next day with a shiny head. What do you HONESTLY think? This actually kinda happened to me before...I'd be privately shocked and not too happy with his choice, but if I really loved him, I wouldn't let it upset me too much.
50. Pizza or burgers? Pepperoni pizza!
51. What color is your jacket? Blue.
52. What's something you ALWAYS have on you? My watch.
53. What do you think of guys with nail polish? I think it looks stupid.
54. Do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall alseep in 5 seconds? It depends.
55. Who do you want to take with you to the prom? No one! I hate school dances.
56. How do you react to change? Not well. I like things to stay the same.
57. Are you happy? *Shrugs* I guess. I don't have all I want in life yet, but I'm still young.
58. Favorite berries? Strawberries, as in strawberry shortcake. ^^ Yum!
59. What's one facial feature you'd like to change about yourself? I'd ditch my oily skin =P
60. Do you take a shower after a bath? ....??
61. What color's your towel? ....Ano...
62. What do you think of knuckle cracking? It's annoying.
63. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Whenever the last time I sat around brooding.
64. Chalk or crayons? Crayons. Fun!
65. How's you happiness level right now? 0 (low)- 10 (high): Probably a 5 or 6
66. Wouldn't you just love to hug someone right now? I would love a hug, from the right person.
67. Who was the last person who complimented you? I have no idea.
68. What's wrong with your school? It's filled with stupid people!
69. Do you know what an aphrodisiac is? Yes.
70. Who do you wish you could kiss? Kenshin *G*
71. Movies at home or in a theater? At home.
72. Wanna live in a castle? If it has a stable ^^
73. What coat do you wear in the winter? ...A winter coat?
74. (Girls) What's something about guys you don't get? (Guys) What's something about girls you don't get?: Why so many of them are so totally convinced of their own superiority, when they are usually so pathetically inferior.
75. Who was better in "Rush Hour"/"Rush Hour 2"? Jackie Chan! ^^
76. If someone said you were hot, what would you think? I'd be surprised that someone was expressing such interest in me in such a blunt way.
77. You go to your bf/gf's house for the first time, and in his/her room, everywhere is...? I dunno.
78. What happens when you hear the word Christmas? I think of my mother's Christmas cookies, that she's made every year since I was small.
79. What food brings back good memories? My mother's cooking (deserts, usually ^^;;).
80. Do you talk to yourself? Yup. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to, ya know.
81. Sun or moon? Either one.
82. What's your opinion on love? *Sings* I wanna fall in love...
83. What's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opposite sex? I don't have any =P
84. Would you rather go ballroom dancing or square dancing? Neither. I don't dance.
85. Do you think you can afford to lose weight? I wouldn't be upset if I did, but I'm sure as hell not going to diet to make it happen.
86. If you could dye your hair any color, what would you dye it? I doubt I'd ever dye my hair, but if I did, I'd dye it red. With my temper and attitude, I'd make a good redhead. ^^
87. What's the nicest thing any one has ever told you? That they like me.

Kitsune-chan rambled at 12:46 a.m. on Monday, July 7, 2003

~~ Rantings and Ravings ~~

Aiya...Why is it that the few people who are even slightly friendly toward me always end up being weird/giving me grief/annoying me so much of the time? It really sucks. Granted, if I wasn't so damn shy, I'd probably have more "normal" friends, but that's a whole 'nother problem. =P

Honestly, though. There are really only three people that I'm close enough to that we talk outside of school; Daniel, Bobby, and Jason. Daniel's probably the sanest of the bunch...that is, if you discount his Christian-ness. He keeps trying to get me to go to church with him, but I don't want to! Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am not comfortable in churches. I'm not that religious, and being around people who are kinda bugs me. As long as he doesn't shove it in my face, I'm happy. That's not asking too much, is it? Besides that, though, last night he messaged me, all upset over some political crap...something about some new laws that some people are trying to pass...and now he wants to make a whole new political party! >.< Now, I feel strongly about some political issues, but God...I don't care that much! Especially not now. I've got enough else to think about, what with college coming up and that scholarship/internship...

Bobby's always been a little...off. Don't get me wrong, I like him. Hell, I've known him since kindergarten. Besides being quirky, he's had a crush on me since grade school; one that I do not reciprocate! He's been hitting on me lately, even though Jason and I are still together! (He doesn't know that I'm planning to leave him) Grr...It's just really annoying!

And Jason...As if him being MIA most of the time, while I'm trying to think of a time and way to tell him it's over, isn't frustrating enough...He called me earlier today. This is good, right? Wrong. He's in one of his moods again, though this time there's actually a reason for it. He's basically supporting himself at the time, but he's having some serious financial problems. Now, given that he didn't get his HS diploma, and his family has a really bad reputation around town, I'm not at all surprised that he's having trouble finding a job. So basically, he's all upset over the whole matter, so he just dumps it on me. There's not a damn thing I can do about it...I wish I could help him, but I can't. I realize that fact, and can't help but be a little annoyed that he's dumping this on me. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel better, because I obviously can't relate to what he's going through. And listening to him, the guy that I consider to be the only person (outside my family) who really knows me, sounding that upset...it drags my mood down, too. I hate it.

Besides all this crap, I've been bored out of my mind lately. Nothing seems to hold my interest any more...It really sucks. I've been thinking of starting an RPG blog, but I don't know of anyone that I could recruit to play with me. Maybe I'll go ahead and set it up, and see if I can find some other people who'd be interested...I dunno.

*Sighs* Okay...I'm done, now. *Smiles slightly* Sometimes a good rant can really help. I'm better now.

Kitsune-chan rambled at 07:36 p.m. on Sunday, July 6, 2003

~~ And...Done! ~~

Well, over the past couple of days, I reread the Harry Potter book series. Today, I tackled my new copy of Order of the Phoenix. I quite enjoyed it...though I'm currently quite furious at JK Rowling at her decision to kill off Sirius Black! I was always quite fond of this character, and I feel it was particularly cruel inflict said character's death on the surviving characters. Ah, well. It can't be changed...*Begins to plot writingSirius-themed fanfiction*

*Yawns* Well, I'm going to bed now. Yes, I was up all night reading, and am just now going to bed. Isn't summer vacation grand. *BG*

Kitsune-chan rambled at 06:10 a.m. on Wednesday, June 25, 2003

~~ And the Obsession Returns... ~~

I finally got my copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix today! ^_^ Yay! Now, I'm off to reread the first four books, since it's been a while since I read them last. With this new book as my incentive, it shouldn't take me very long to finish them. *Bounds away happily, like the total HP fangirl she is*

Kitsune-chan rambled at 10:42 p.m. on Saturday, June 21, 2003

~~ Desktop Stuffs...and Boredom, of course ^^ ~~

Well, I finally changed my dekstop theme...now, when I use my computer, I get to enjoy the company of Kougaiji, from Gensomaden Saiyuki. ^_^ I actually made all of the elements of this theme myself ^^V

While I was digging through the screencaps I'd taken from my new copy of Vol. 2 of Saiyuki, I found this shot of Kougaiji...He's surrounded by a glowing aura, as he chants a summoning spell. The pic simply begged to be made into a wallpaper. So I did. ^^ After that, I used another screencap as a source for a winamp skin, and a couple more for icons. Granted, they're all pretty simple, 'cause I'm not very experienced at making desktop things, but I think that they turned out pretty well ^^

*Sigh* Bored, bored....I really need to find something to do. Most of my usual hobbies are starting to bore me, and Jason's still MIA...I dunno. Hopefully I can find something to occupy my mind. ^^;;

Kitsune-chan rambled at 03:18 p.m. on Wednesday, June 11, 2003

~~ Watashi wa sabishii desu... ~~

Grrr...I swear. Sometimes, I wonder about my moods. Right now, I want to scream and hit someone, and hide in a hole and cry...all at the same time. What brings on this tumult of emotion, you ask? One word: Jason. Okay, to be fair, it isn't really his fault; he's just the catalyst for the whole thing.

As I've ranted about in earlier posts, I've recently been trying to come up with a way to break up with Jason, yet I still haven't managed to do it. Maybe I'm too caring...or maybe I'm just a coward. I don't know. I just can't bring myself to do it. Even though I know that he's not the guy for me...our relationship could never go anywhere, because neither one of us can give the other what they need...

He cares about me (he says he loves me), but I know that he can't be what I need my future husband to be. He's immature; I can't have an intelligent conversation with him. His sense of humor is horribly childish, consisting entirely of potty humor, which I find quite irritating. He's never serious about anything, not even the important stuff. He has no ambition whatsoever; he has flat-out said that he has virtually no plans to continue his education and get a good job...He basically plans to get a minimum wage job and then be a 'house husband', while I go out and work. Now, I don't expect to marry a rich man and live the "good life", but I do want to maintain the standard of living that I've held since childhood (pretty normal, middle-class); something that he could not give me...What it comes down to is this: if something were to happen to me, so that I couldn't work, my husband would have to be able to support me. There's no way that Jason could do that. Basically, he has much lower expectations than I do; standard of living comfort level, job success, everything! I've seen some of the places that he's lived (and been happy) and I visibly cringed at the conditions. He has no desire to succeed in life, while I do. He loves kids, and has even told me that he'd "love to have a child with me" *shudders*...despite his knowing that I hate children and NEVER want to have any. And, though it's cliché, I want my mate to be able to be strong for me, to support me when I need it...yet another thing that Jason could never do.

And I realize that I can't give him what he needs. I realized this some time ago; Jason doesn't need a wife, he needs a mother. As an example of what I mean, think of a weird cross between Ayanami Rei and Ikari Shinji (of NGE). He is very "poor at living"; if left alone, he doesn't eat, doesn't sleep...nothing. I've tried to get him to change, but he flat-out refuses to take care of himself. He has very low self-esteem and self-worth. He refuses to believe anything good about himself. He apologizes every time I say the slightest complaint about anything (Things that are NOT his fault in anyway!). He is prone to bouts of depression, which I am not able to cope with...I simply can't do anything to help him, and that hurts me. He's told me before that he doesn't want to live anymore...There were a couple of times that I was truly afraid that he might intentionally hurt himself...I just can't deal with that. I've tried, but I'm just not strong enough to give him the support he needs...

Despite all this, I still haven't managed to break it to him yet...I think I might have figured out one reason why. It's my own fault...Watashi wa sabishii desu. (I'm lonely.) Earlier I was thinking about it...Jason's been MIA lately; I've easily gone for over a week between times when I hear from him. I don't really have any close friends; most I just talk to at school...Jason's the only one who ever calls me, or I call him...So, I really miss it when I can't talk to him (since I have no one else to talk to). So when I finally hear from him, I'm so starved for companionship, that I subconsciously put off breaking up with him...because I know that it will likely drive him away from me...even if he will agree to remain friends with me, I know that I will lose him (at least momentarily) while he deals with the break up. I know how upset he got the last time...I didn't talk to him on the phone, but he sent me letters and Yahoo! messages...so I know how upset he was.

*Sigh* I just don't know what to do...I've got no idea how to break up with him without setting his depression off, or without him arguing back. I know him...If I suggest, in any way, that the break up is because of a fault of his, he'll offer to change in hopes of keeping me around. But the fact is, there's no way he could ever change into the man that I need him to be. So there's no point in letting him try...I guess that leaves the "it's not you, it's me" approach, but I'm not really sure how to go about it...I'd considered saying that we're going in different directions, but I'm afraid that he'd argue that. As it is, when I told him about this job offer in Virginia, he told (not offered, told) me that he would move out there with me, even though I know that he could never afford to live there (and I never indicated that I wanted him to!) He basically said that wherever I went, he was going to follow...So if I just say, "We're going in two different directions," he'll probably fire back with "Not really. You're going this way, so I'll follow you." *Sigh* I have to find a way to tell him that it's over without giving him the chance to argue with me about it...and I have no idea how to do that.

Kitsune-chan rambled at 01:07 a.m. on Wednesday, June 4, 2003