I'm having an excellent birthday so far. *smirks to self* Starting with this morning, when I woke up to the news that the high school has a snow day, and therefore I didn't have to go in and observe. :D Then I found this, which just happens to (FINALLY) announce the release date of Order of the Phoenix (and has a few short excerpts from the book). *bounces* Whee, can't wait for June... ^___^ It's a long time to wait, but it coming out during summer break is a good thing-- I'll probably be able to read it straight through without interruption. ^.^

And theeeeen I got $30 in the mail from my aunt & uncle, and a package from Sasuga containing X 18, Ultra Maniac and her terribly late Christmas presents. And I haven't even gotten any of my official presents yet. ^___^

That was very nice, thank you. Um... *blows raspberries* does not, does not, does not! XD

Hey, porn-- I didn't even think of that. *snickers* Actually, the thing I'm most happy about is that I can drive after 9pm now. That rule was most definitely a pain in the ass.

Thanks ^_^ And yes, that is the Draco trilogy I was referring to. I agree about it having the feel of an original novel that uses HP characters-- that's the same vibe I got from Lust Over Pendle, which is another great fic I've discovered on my recent dive into HP fanfiction. ^^;;; It's quite confusing in parts (though that might be because it's so British and I'm so... not ^^;;;), but on the whole it's a very funny and satisfying read. Even if it is Draco/Neville. o.O;;;

Codi, the new layout is really nice, but for some reason whenever I go to the main datenshi.nu site Norton tells me it's detected a virus. o.O;;; Is it just me?

Oh, yes... happy birthday Lika-chan. ^_~ Glad to see you posting again. *glomps*

aHEM, this is late, but... where do you get off calling Seiichirou's suit "mud-brown"? *blows more raspberries* it's TAN! TAN, DAMMIT! ... yeah. XD XD

Hm... so, another HP fic rec, as long as I'm here... Can't Be Held Responsible is a very creepy little fic. Can't think of much else to say without ruining the atmosphere of it, but it's very short and quite good, so go read. ^^

listening to: Take Me As I Am, October Project

losing my religion on Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 04:15 p.m.




*ahem*

Begin Shameless Self-Plug:

My birthday. In two days. I'll be 18.

PRESENTS. RAR.

End Shameless Self-Plug

I know, I know, I'm horrible. XD XD

Honestly, though, what I really want is a normal, non-insane brain. The gift that keeps on giving. (So's depression and obsessive unpleasant thoughts, but, you know, in a bad way.)

And also I love this song. *hearts*

I am currently geeking over Harry Potter. I do not know why. I'm also reading the Draco trilogy, which I was pretty sure I'd never do, but meh. I can't say it's good, exactly, what with all the borrowing and, ahem, liberties taken with characterization, but like a trashy romance novel it is difficult to put down.

This livejournal amuses the crap out of me. It almost makes me wish that the X fandom wars were held on livejournals or message boards instead of blogs, so that I could post about them here. *snicker* We're worse than most of the flamewars mentioned there... not all, but most.

Speaking of such things, has everyone been taking their happy pills lately or what? I'm getting bored over here! No one's pissed me off in far too long, and dammit, I'm getting complacent. Come on, guys. Someone post the top 20 reasons why A/K sucks goat ass, or go off on yet another tangent about how Subaru is better than God, or something. I'm desperate over here. XD

Yeah. This is why I shouldn't blog at 2 AM while recovering from another day of unreasonable mood swings. :D

listening to: Bad Reputation, Freedy Johnston

losing my religion on Monday, January 13, 2003 at 01:27 a.m.




File another one under the "FF.net is run by a bunch of dumbasses" file. The following is an e-mail I just recieved from them.

"kerianne,

Title: "X: The Lost Foreordained Chat Transcripts" Summary: "The Dragons in a chat room. Yes, I know it's a fanfiction cliche, but this is actually funny. Co-written with my friend Cori (and she did most of the work ~~;;;)."

the above story has been removed because it violated the guideline detailed on the upload page.

This infraction has been recorded and once you reach a certain limit, your account be automatically banned. Moreover, as a result of this infraction, you will not have upload access for a period of time."

Okay, yeah. Cute. Only problem is, that particular fic has been on FF.net since summer of 2001-- long before any rule about uploading chat room fics was put into action. So basically I'm being punished because they missed this fic when they were going through and deleting stuff. I love getting blamed for other people's mistakes... *growls*

I know, it's not really that big of a deal in the scheme of things, and I wasn't planning on uploading anything at the moment anyway. Just thought I'd point out how dumb they are. ><

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Friday, January 10, 2003 at 01:12 a.m.




Okay... will to live mostly restored. *crosses fingers* My general sense of dread and anxiety is gradually fading. I may yet get through this without the help of narcotics, rah.

So, since I promised... cosplay links. :D The first site I found is here (click on every sub-link on the three pages to see all of the pics... and incidentally, don't ask me how I found these, because it certainly has nothing to do with my searching for the kanji for Aoki's name on Google, nooo, not at all). I will direct your attention specifically to the cutest goddamn thing in the ENTIRE WORLD. Yes, that is a Karen cosplayer with an Aoki plushie. I can now die happy. :D :D :D

This is also obscenely cute. I would like to kidnap them. ^^

From there, I poked around a bit more and discovered a ton more pics from another person in the cosplay group (I think it may be the Karen cosplayer, but I'm not sure), here.

More cute A/K pics. She's taller than him. *giggles* And the last set, with Karen in a different outfit. So. Cute. *____*

Check out the other links for your characters-- nearly all the Dragons are there, I think, though some of them only seem to be in group pics (Yuuto and Satsuki, specifically). I love these people. *hearts*

No, I haven't read any of the Chrestomanci books yet, though I have the first one courtesy of Lika. And I've had it for nearly a year now, so you really think I would have read it by now, but it takes me forever to read things because I always forget what I have. x.x Thanks for pointing out the new layout for Kamikaze; I did notice that it had moved, and was very sad for a moment because I thought it was gone. :_: But no, it's still there, and I hear Redhead Dancing Girl might be back up soon too, so yay. ^.^

Well, that certainly wasn't the ending I was expecting. XD Though I have always said that Karen/Arashi would be rather pretty... *snicker* Seriously, though, I certainly hope that enough people survive so that the final tankouban can be dedicated to tying up loose ends, but somehow I doubt it. :_: We'll see soon enough, though...

listening to: One Life to Live. XD

losing my religion on Friday, January 3, 2003 at 02:36 p.m.




.... *blinks* Since when are there Japanese fanart/fanfic sites that have Aoki/Karen stuff on them? Got any examples? ^__^ *bounces* Because I've looked at every Japanese X fanart site I know of, and while I've found a few random pics of Karen, I've never seen any of Aoki at all, let alone of them together. Wah, am I missing out? :_:

Though I did find the best cosplay site EVER the other day. I'll post links when I regain the will to live. x_x

listening to: the goddamned annoying church bells

losing my religion on Thursday, January 2, 2003 at 05:58 p.m.




Yay! More intelligence! And more proof that one can like the main characters best without going out of one's way to pretend everyone else doesn't exist! *cheers and glomps* ^.^

I'm in full agreement with all that you said. And as a side note... *blush* the A/K fic you mentioned is, um, mine. Little Lies. I hated the last chapter (I waited a long time between the third and fourth chapters and I think I lost the style I had been cultivating through the first three chapters o.O;;;), but... yay. *loves being noticed* XD

*blink* Is someone flaming or being flamed around here? 'Cause last I checked, there was such a thing as discussion, and I don't think anyone has stooped to name-calling or any of that. If people are taking it personally, then perhaps they ought to take a good hard look at their priorities. And yes, maybe it has been discussed before, but as long as the attitudes around here continue to irritate me, I'm going to continue to state what I think of them. *shrugs* Besides, it keeps me entertained, and that's really all that matters (to me), right? :P

Kira, I found most of the comments about shutting up and writing it ourselves among the people who commented on Kouri's post. So maybe it's only a few rude people saying it, but I get the feeling that the general attitude is that we're on our own for this stuff and that's the way it should be. Which, maybe it is, I don't know. I'm just wondering if more people would try to address more of X's plot in their fanfiction if that was a more accepted practice.

And I'm not offended in the least about who Kouri does and doesn't want to write about. That's none of my business, and in fact, if she really only finds K/F/S/S interesting, it's probably for the best that she only writes about them-- it's very difficult to do a good job writing characters you dislike and don't care about. What bothered me was the fact that her rant kind of made it sound like those who don't find Seishirou and Subaru "the interesting ones" are irredeemably wrong and second-class citizens. ^^;;; Maybe I was wrong, maybe I read too much into it, but it bugs me. I'm not gonna lose sleep over it, but I am going to speak up, because I have a big mouth.

Meh, it always amuses me when people make a huge deal out of these things. It's not a huge deal to me, as fiery as my arguments can be. I like challenging the status quo-- not that I'm just doing it for attention or anything, because I do believe strongly in what I'm saying, but I'm pretty sure people think that I take myself a lot more seriously than I do. Like I said, I'm in this for the entertainment-- and like Kira said, this fandom is pretty dead without controversy and arguing. ^^

listening to: A Sound That Only You Can Hear, K's Choice

losing my religion on Monday, December 30, 2002 at 12:35 p.m.




*mumbles to self* Will... not... respond... will not take the bait... even if certain people are ignorant and intolerant and immature and just begging for a smack upside the head...

Willpower is a good thing. *smiles*

In other news, I have finally gotten around to updating the links on my sidebar. Added links to Lisa, Rae, Shoiryu, and Yume and updated Xandra's link.

Kira, point taken. Though I have to point out that you don't necessarily have to read all the fics to know that there are a ton of fics about certain characters and that most of them cover pretty much the same ground. All you have to do is read the summaries for that. So yeah, I generally tend to avoid actually reading the 400-page Seishirou/Subaru fics, but I still know they're there, and I also know what isn't there (considering I generally scan fics for certain names, yes, I am a loser XD).

Hmm. I've seen a lot of people commenting on how they want the Final Battle between Fuuma and Kamui to start... I just have one question; you guys DO remember that there are two volumes left, right? I would think the Fuuma/Kamui fight would be in the last volume, maybe in the beginning or the middle so they'll have time to wrap things up by the end. The Fuuma/Kamui stuff has been built up the most, so it just makes sense that they'd save it for the climax of the story... and I really doubt they can stretch it out over two books. x_x

*sigh* Still bleh. I can't even sleep anymore because my mind just keeps torturing me. Make it stop. x.x

listening to: Gypsy, Fleetwood Mac

losing my religion on Monday, December 30, 2002 at 09:09 a.m.




Oooh, Maria, niiiice rant. ^_^

One more note on this whole topic... the prevalent suggestion to solve this problem is "If you want to read fics about other characters, shut up and write them yourself." Well... let's see. For one thing, most of us are doing that. I write A/K fics, Maria writes Kusanagi fics, etc. In most cases, it seems that the people who are dissatisfied with the treatment, or lack thereof, of their characters and pairings really are trying to do something about it, not just sitting around aimlessly bitching.

However, you must admit that it's tough being the only one who writes about a certain thing, ne? Especially when these "unconventional" authors don't get much attention for their writing, because everyone is too busy gushing all over Big Four fics that, in many cases, aren't as original, interesting or well-written as theirs. Why is it so wrong to want to see other authors' interpretations of the characters, pairings and situations we like? Besides the fact that that argument just fails logically. If you want to read a fic, doesn't that kind of presuppose that you haven't written it yourself? It's certainly not as satisfying to read something that's come from your own mind. :P

Now, the way I see it, there are three ways an author can respond to complaints that (insert character/pairing here) isn't written about enough. One, they can say, "You know, he/she/they is/are right... I think I'll write one sometime!" Two, they can say, "They're right, but I'm really not interested in writing about that character/pairing, so I'll just ignore it." Or three, they can say "How dare they try to tell me what I can and can't write! Besides, it's ridiculous to even imply that those boring, unimportant characters deserve any attention at all, so they should just shut up!"

Obviously the first two responses are the mature ones. And I think you'll find that most of the complainers are fully willing to accept response number two. We may not understand why you don't find the character/pairing as interesting as we do, but if it's not your thing, we're not about to try to force you to write it or hold it against you that you don't want to.

So why hold it against us that we like these characters and want to read more about them? Why should we have to "shut up"? I'll never understand that. We're not telling anyone to stop writing Big Four fiction-- at least, I'm not, and I haven't seen anyone else say that. I may be quite tired of seeing 500 fics about them that all sound exactly the same to me, but if that's what floats your boat, by all means, go on doing it. But, as Maria said, why is there such a stigma on those who put out a call for a little more diversity, variety and originality in fanfiction?

Just a little something to think about. I'll try to shut up now. ^^;;;

listening to: Hold the Line, Toto

losing my religion on Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 06:39 p.m.




Well, I guess I can understand that. The stuff I mentioned has been bothering me, too, what with the recent attacks on free speech in the fandom relating to the criticism of fics and such. Not sure that I'm nice or worth knowing, but... uh... yeah. XD

Heehee. This is great. YuutoxAoki is indeed amusing, and the blush-factor is a wonderful thing. *nods* And the bit about giving Sorata "hot twins" amused me XD

Ow. Random pain in my foot. Not fun. ><;;; *goes back to looking at LotR:TTT pics* Mmm, hobbits. :D

listening to: still nothing. I need more interesting music.

losing my religion on Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 12:34 a.m.




WARNING: The following is one of Keri's trademark Long Controversial Rants. If you're one of those "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" tree-hugging hippie types, do us all a favor and leave now before you get too terribly offended, ne? ^_~

*sighs* Well, look, someone else has decided to impose her little opinions upon the entire fandom. Let's see, no one wants to read a fic about Kusanagi? Then I guess that makes me and Amy and Maria and many others "nobodies". And no one likes Hinoto? Tell that to Ammie. Let's try to respect the idea that, shocking as it may be to you, not everyone feels the same way you do about every character.

And for Christ's sake, SUBARU AND SEISHIROU ARE NOT THE ONLY FUCKING INTERESTING CHARACTERS. Maybe to you they are, but to a lot of us, THEY AREN'T. In fact, I doubt that even most of the S/S fans would say that they are the ONLY interesting characters. Maybe that's the way you feel, but once again, you can't apply your own opinions to the entire fandom. It just doesn't work that way, no matter how much you may think that you're in charge and everyone hangs off your every word.

To cover some other points: I don't think anyone has ever complained about Yuzu being too genki in fanfics (if I'm wrong, I apologize). All I've seen is people complaining that she was portrayed as airheaded, dumb, and irritating, which is certainly not the way CLAMP portrays her. And certainly no one has been complaining about Kakyou being too in-character; again, all I've seen is people getting irritated with the fact that many fic authors like to make him sarcastic, outspoken and catty. I have to wonder whose complaints you've been looking at; I like to consider myself fairly active in the fandom, and I've never seen anyone complain about seeing canon characterizations in fanfiction.

I don't believe X has too many characters. The only thing that makes X worth reading, for me and many others, is the diversity and range of characters. Without all the supporting characters, it'd be just another dramatic yaoi manga with nothing to set it apart from the rest. I'm beginning to think that some of you wouldn't mind if that's all it was, if it meant you'd get more mindless fanservice, but that's a matter of opinion that I won't get into.

The point is, don't flatter yourself by comparing yourself to CLAMP. CLAMP doesn't ignore their so-called "minor" characters. Read the manga again-- I think you'll find that there are plenty of scenes that don't contain Kamui, Fuuma, Subaru or Seishirou at all. To use Kusanagi as an example is unfair, because he's probably gotten the worst treatment as far as underdevelopment. The other "minor" characters are much more developed than he is. And just to be a bitch, Keiichi seems to be on your good list, and yet he's even more minor and unimportant than Kusanagi is. When's the last time he was in the manga? And who really thinks CLAMP will have time to bring him back again? So why is it such a crime for Kusanagi to be underdeveloped, but it's fine for Keiichi? Could it be because... hmm... Kusanagi's not as pretty as Keiichi?

I know the popular opinion is that the yaoi boys are the only characters that CLAMP really cares about, and everyone else is just thrown in as filler, but I don't believe that for a moment. Writers don't do anything they don't have a reason for, so obviously CLAMP has a reason for all those characters being there. They all have a role to play. So don't pretend you're just following CLAMP's lead when you blatantly ignore over half of the cast, because if that's what you're seeing when you read X, obviously you must be reading a different version of the manga than I am.

I'm also getting sick of this "if you don't like it, don't read it" bullshit. Because what you're really saying is "if you don't like it, shut up, because you're in the minority and we don't want to hear it." I don't see what's wrong with people expressing dissatisfaction with the way fanfiction is written. Why is it so wrong to have opinions that differ from those of the majority, and to speak out about them? Or, hey, here's a simple solution-- why don't you just not read the blogs/message boards/etc. that express these opinions that you don't want to hear? Or do you feel you're too elite and your opinions matter too much for you to have to follow that rule as well?

And while I'm on the topic, I think the "it's too many characters to write about in one fic" excuse is crap too. I guess it's totally okay to deal with five (pretty boy) canon characters, ten (pretty boy) original characters and four (pretty boy) crossover characters, but writing about all the (not all pretty boy) canon characters would just be faaaaar too much effort. No one's saying you have to write about them if you don't want to, but Christ, be honest about it and admit that you leave them out because you can't randomly slash them with each other, hm?

I really hate to start a flame war, but this much blatant ignorance in one place just begs to be responded to. Kouri, you're fully entitled to your opinion. You're fully entitled to write about whatever you want to. But people who disagree with you are allowed to express their opinions, too. I'm not entirely sure what this is in response to, perhaps the whole fic blog uproar, but I'm responding as if it was directed at me because many of the attitudes and opinions you're complaining about are ones that I hold.

Yeah, I like to try to get people to appreciate and write about minor characters more often. And I like to think that I've succeeded, at least with a few people. I'm not trying to brainwash anyone, or suggesting that anyone should write about characters that don't interest them. But I'm not going to pretend I like fics that blatantly ignore over half the cast, nor will I encourage people to write them. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. It's my opinion.

And... say it with me, people... differing opinions are a Good Thing.

That's all.

listening to: the souuuund... of silence

losing my religion on Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 08:02 p.m.




I keep forgetting to mention this in my LotR comments, but... I actually like Grima. I feel bad for him. He's obviously hung up on Eowyn and sometimes he just looks so pathetic that I wanna tell him to go take a shower, maybe get a haircut, and THEN try hitting on her. XD But I know who she DOES end up with romantically, so I'm pretty happy about that. ^.^

And dammit, I want some good hobbitslash. Preferably Merry/Pippin. They're just too adorable. *_* But FF.net is proving useless, so I'll have to venture elsewhere. XD

AND! AMMIE! *glompglomp* I got your Christmas gift in the mail two days ago, and totally forgot to mention it (being depressed makes me forgetful XP)! Thanks so much-- it's great! *huggles* The doujinshi's really cool, especially since I can sort of understand what's going on in one story, and it amuses me that Subaru looks at Aoki and Daisuke and thinks of himself and Seishirou (why do I get the feeling this artist is a subtle Aoki/Dai 'shipper? XDDDD). And the Karen fanart is beautiful! *___* But you're right, a pic of both of them would be great... (you know, my birthday is January 15th *hinthinthint* XD j/k) In any case, I loved your Christmas card pic, too. Especially Daisuke's plushie, heehee. Adorable. ^.^ Mind if I scan the Karen pic and put it up on Eternal Flame? *cute face*

Xandra, that fic idea sounds interesting. ^^

Oh yeah... Asuka installment... meh. I do appreciate the fact that all the DoHs are being shown in each installment lately, though (well, all the ones who aren't switching sides/chasing after their girlfriends who are switching sides, anyway). Even if they don't have much to do but stand around and comment occasionally, it's nice. XD

But other than that... I don't get why everyone is still babying Kamui. I know, I know, he's got a horrible life and everyone should kiss his ass for that, but honestly, people are dying and he's still indecisive? Now is the time for them to stop telling him it's okay and he should follow his heart and start telling him to start ACTING like the goddamn hero of the story. I'm all for imperfect protagonists, but damn. Fuuma isn't worth letting all of Tokyo die, kid. You'll find a new boyfriend someday. Now get with the Power of God stuff so a few people other than you will survive this damn thing, huh? ><

Oh, I liked the Kusanagi pic, though. CLAMP's been doing great stuff with the color pics lately... the Yuuto and Sorata pics were utterly gorgeous, and of course you all know what I thought of the Seiichirou pic and the first Karen pic. I do think the second Karen pic should have been a decent one of them together, though, because it was weird and I don't think anyone liked it much. o.O Besides, they need another color pic together, since the only ones they've got are the ones from the drama CD. I think CLAMP ought to start doing couple pics for the Asukas once they've exhausted all the current characters, though I have the feeling they're going to alternate between Kamui-Fuuma-Subaru until the manga ends once they've gotten all the other characters out of the way. Bleh.

Meh... I have to disagree (and it isn't just you, I've seen this "X was so much better back in the day" attitude from most of the fandom lately). The fact that the plot points concern characters that don't interest you personally doesn't mean nothing happened... Sorata and Arashi got a lot of development and change in their relationship since Sei's death, as well as another pair I won't mention so as to keep my bias at a minimum... *snicker* Yeah, the plot's been a bit slow-moving, but maybe that's because we're seeing the updates as they happen instead of reading them all at once. I have no idea what it was like to read past volumes in 16-34 page installments, because I only started following the updates last year. Maybe it seemed just as slow-moving then.

But, to each his own. Personally I like X more now, at least the potential that it has. I also much prefer the current art style, but I've said that before... and maybe I'm the only one who thought Ginza was one of the best scenes in the manga, but dammit, I do. I got to look at Karen being gorgeous every month, and ain't nothing wrong with that. And it was important to the plot, at least to their plotline, because it resolved the Karen/Nataku thing, gave her an excuse to be really fucking pissed at Fuuma (which, alas, may result in her death :_:), and, earlier, made it clearer how she feels about Seiichirou (so that their angsty death scene will not seem so unexpected, I'm sure *growl*). Now where the hell is my X 18, Sasuga? *wail*

And, out of curiosity, you guys who say "nothing is happening"... what do you want to see happen at this point? o.O;;; It seems like the Final Battle is going to start, which pretty much rules out any further development for characters and/or couples until their big death scenes (*pout*)... so what are you looking for?

Hmm... oh, right. Sorry to everyone I disappeared on last night. It wasn't by choice, believe me. ><;;; My connection decided to die at about 11:30 last night, and didn't come back until this morning. So I watched more LotR and went to bed. Bleh. >.>;;; Does Gandalf threaten to bash Pippin's head against the door to the Mines of Moria in the original FotR? 'Cause I don't remember that, but it's in the extended version and it amuses me. XD

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 10:01 a.m.




Spoke too soon. Feel bleh again. Mneh. :/

I just got back from seeing Two Towers again, though. Am I just perverted, or does it look like Frodo's orgasming every time he has his little ring moments? The looks on his face... I dunno, it's shady. XD I have also decided that I'm going to marry Faramir, Aragorn and Pippin. In no particular order. I wouldn't say no to Legolas or Merry either, or... all right, I finally see Frodo's appeal, I guess. *grumbles* He's cuter when he goes nuts, though. XD Let's see... Arwen still annoying, Sam and Frodo still best couple in the story, Haldir still ugly. *nods*

And I totally blame my new GTA: Vice City soundtrack for this (the Emotion 98.3 one, yes, I am a sucker for 80s ballads), but Seiichirou has been karaokeing "Sister Christian" in my head all evening. Come on, can't you see it? ... yeah, I knew it, I'm insane. *snicker*

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Friday, December 27, 2002 at 07:37 p.m.




Merry Christmas, everyone!

*sighs* If only I'd had this much holiday spirit earlier, I might have actually gotten some of my Christmas projects done. :P In any case, I haven't quite been myself lately (let me tell you, hormonal depression is a bitch), but I'm feeling much better now, so yay. ^_^ And I just saw John Rzeznik perform on the Disney holiday parade. Yum. :D

Anyway, Santa was pretty damn good to me, I must say. I got a bunch of DVDs, including Excel Saga volume 3, X volume 2, Spider-Man, Atlantis (yay XD), and... the Lord of the Rings special edition. :D :D :D My brother got me a shitload of manga, so I now have all of Kodocha and Love Hina that's been released, as well as two volumes of Angelic Layer. I got a couple of other random books, a few CDs and a bunch of shirts, too. And my stocking stuff was really cute-- I got a little figure of Pleakley from "Lilo and Stitch"! He's my favorite character XD XD And some of those Harry Potter "Magical Minis" things... let me tell you, they're a bitch to get out of the box. Took me twenty minutes to get one out. XD Hmm... gift certificates, too. I'm generally very, very pleased. ^___^

Now... I need to find my pants. I'm wearing my cleavage-tastic Christmas Day outfit... but pants are always good. XDDD Apologies to anyone who wanted more of that Christmas fic I had started a few days ago... Like I said, I've been horribly depressed and twitchy for a few days, so I just couldn't make myself work. *wonders if it'd be too gratuitous to change a few details and make it into a New Years' fic* I dunno, what do you guys think? I don't really want to wait until next year... XD In any case, now that I'm my genki self again, I'm feeling inspired to write when I get the chance, so you'll get something at least. ^^;;;

Pants. Yes. Will talk to all of you later! ^___^

listening to: the snowblower outside my window. XD

losing my religion on Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 12:43 p.m.




Christmas is nearly here! *bounces* I've been busy with present-wrapping, cookie-baking and last-minute shopping. Now I'm watching Christmas episodes of really bad old sitcoms on TV Land. The last one was about some teacher who was obviously supposed to be seen as very caring and supportive and great, but I swear, if any real-life teacher acted like that to his students, he'd be out of there on sexual harassment charges in no time, the old lech. XD

Everyone's getting awfully pissy about the fic criticism blogs that have been popping up lately. o.o Why does it matter so much that some people are posting their opinions on some fics/authors? Personally, I think it's a lot better than the general ass-kissing of really bad fics that goes on in this fandom. True, they probably won't accomplish much in the way of actually changing the way fics are written... but what's wrong with posting opinions?

I can't speak for the site owners, but in my humble opinion everyone is taking these sites far too seriously. The tone of the reviews and posts is obviously not a tone that one would use for serious criticism. I honestly don't think they're reviewing for some noble purpose, to help writers improve (though they do have some good points beneath all the snarkiness). They're for entertainment, people. Sure, maybe it's entertainment at the expense of others, and maybe they don't entertain you, but there's no need to attack them. No one's forcing you to visit if you don't like what they say. And they entertain me, at least. XD (Not to say I want any of my fics reviewed, unless it's in a good way. o_o XD)

And as for them staying anonymous, I don't blame them. And with all due respect, I think those of you who criticize them for that are being just slightly hypocritical. Let's see you name names next time you talk shit about someone on your blog, rather than leaving it vague and cryptic. ^_~

Just my thoughts. *shrug* Personally I agree with the last part of Kim's post on it... it's only opinion. But apparently the official word on opinion of some people around here is that you better agree with theirs, or you're stupid, missing the point and shouldn't be allowed to express your thoughts. And that's truly ridiculous, and more hurtful than any fic criticism these people could come up with.

Yume put it quite nicely in her excellent post by referencing Hollywood. Movie reviewers tear movies to shreds and no one says they're mean and just intending to hurt people. Movie directors don't get their little friends together to cry and whine when they get bad reviews. Why is fanfiction so different? It may not be professional, and it may not be making money, but it's still something that's been publicly posted. Which means people should be allowed to say whatever they like about it. You don't have to agree, but they can say it.

And one last note... yes, this fandom is a bitchy, catty place with tons of cliques and an intricate social structure. And as long as the same people are in it, things aren't going to change. I can understand that some wouldn't enjoy being in a climate like that (personally I think it's hilarious, but I'm just evil like that), but some people seem to be shocked each time something like this pops up; to them I say, get used to it. ^_^

So. Yesterday I saw Two Towers. Needless to say, it was great. ^__^ *may be spoilers ahead* My favorite new additions to the cast were definitely Faramir and Gollum. Faramir... mmm. *_* I thought he was much cuter than Boromir, though I'm kind of sorry they made him more of a jerk than he was in the books (or so I've heard). Oh, well, he redeemed himself and was all cute and noble by the end. ^^ As for Gollum, he's just adorable in a wonderfully creepy way. Loved his weird little conversations with himself. I was disappointed that even his good side seemed to be going evil at the end, though. :_:

Let's see, what else... the Ents were really cool, and Merry and Pippin were great-- I knew they had potential to be more than just dumb comic relief. Gimli was amusing, Legolas was his lovely self (and his stunts were great ^.^)... Aragorn was generally cool, though he's a man-whore. Not that I blame him... Arwen bores me. I can't stand female characters whose only purpose is to stand there, look pretty and do whatever their father/brother/boyfriend/etc. tell them to do. Besides, something about Liv Tyler's nose bothers me. XD I guess Eowyn was all right... at least she had guts, though she mooned over Aragorn a bit too much. Eomer... bleh, too hairy and greasy for my taste.

And then... there's the SamxFrodo. Oh dear God, the SamxFrodo. I'll bet even people who've never heard of slash could see the romantic tension between those two. The "your Sam" thing was SO adorable, and Sam was definitely jealous of Gollum. ^.^ Forget Aragorn and Arwen-- this is the true romance of the story. XD

Allright, it's late. x.x Suppose I should go to bed...

listening to: the sweet sound of bad 80s sitcoms. XD

losing my religion on Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 01:47 a.m.




I just ate frozen soup. Well, after it was microwaved, but you know what I mean. And it was actually really good. o_o

Yeah, so... whee, school's officially over! ^___^ Now I can concentrate fully on fun things like holiday preparations and writing. ^.^ Plus I got $115 for selling my books back. Score. :D I wasn't expecting much, because I'd heard that some people only got $11 for 3 books and stuff like that, but I guess I lucked out. ^___^

Anyway, thanks to everyone who whapped me into shape about the insecurity thing. *sigh* Stress does strange things to my mind and makes me angst. I've now progressed to paranoia and am convinced that I'm going to go irredeemably insane and/or that I already am. I'm just gonna have to ride this out and wait until my hormones re-balance themselves or whatever x.x

As for you, no, you're not pathetic. Just me. ^^ And I am too reading it, but you don't want to talk to me anyway do you? Nyah. :_:

I've heard of Breaking Benjamin-- they used to advertise their album all the time on some station or another a while back. The lead singer's voice is... strange. I can't really describe it, but it gives me the creeps. XD

So, I see the ol' X cosplay site is making the rounds again. *snickers* I rather like pimp daddy Aoki, though he didn't have the hair (Yuzu's is closer, which disturbs me), and he definitely needed a Karen. >< I have nothing to say about this, however. x.x

Thank you for the fic comments. *sparkles* ^.^ I hope the rest of it lives up to expectations-- though the focus will obviously be on a certain person, plenty of other characters will be popping up, some in rather unusual ways. ^_~

Ammie, no, I don't think it's the one we were discussing. ^^;;; Though now I can't remember what it was. XD If it was the Kamui-centric one, though I really like the idea, I'm not sure if I can pull off writing Kamui in a main role, since I don't really like him and therefore haven't bothered to analyze him much. ^^;;; Maybe next year... XD Anyway, I hope you'll like this one. Dai-kun will be in it. ^_~
Awwww, the way your brother and his wife got engaged is really cute, hehe. And I do indeed remember the web-o-drama... poor drunk Aoki... XD In any case, yay nipples!! ^___^ So when will we be seeing some of this, hmm? ^_~

My fic blog got a search request for "aoki, karen, X, fanfiction". Heehee, requests like that make me feel all mushy. I know there are more fans out there! They're just... quiet. Yeah. Real quiet. XD XD

Though, I was far more amused by the hit that this blog got for "Aoki Yaoi Seiichirou". Is that his middle name now? XDDD

*giggles* Hrm. Some of those descriptions sound awfully familiar. XD XD I'm trying to figure out who the second one down on the "goodfic" side is... if I was more egotistical, I'd say it sounds like me. Well... okay. I am egotistical. It does sound like me. XDDD 'Course, it probably isn't and I probably just made a fool of myself. *waves* Hi there, I'm a presumptuous dumbass, how about you? XD Anyway, I've seen another site like that, here, which has some MSTs and such up already. I love ficbitching sites... and I'm sure they'll never run out of material in this fandom. XD

Um... okay. Some guy just came to the door and asked if he could borrow our ladder. o_O;;; He was kinda creepy, too. What the hell is it with me and run-ins with creepy guys lately? Last night there was one in the middle of the road gesturing at me. I think his car may have broken down or something, but still, he was probably planning to mug me. *nod nod*

I'm gonna go watch more random episodes of The Simpsons. I've been downloading them lately... um, I mean... acquiring them in a perfectly legal manner that does not involve Kazaa in the least. Yes. ^_^

listening to: the phone ringing ><

losing my religion on Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:23 p.m.




A snippet from one of my Christmas fics has been posted on Temptation Eyes, my poor neglected fic blog. ^^;;;; Please leave comments-- I'll love you forever. ^___^

Social blogging will be dealt with later tonight, after my exams. Bleh, I'm gonna fail. x.x;;;

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 02:36 p.m.




*sighs* Bleh, I'm having a serious attack of insecurity. Mainly revolving around the fact that I have no romantic experience whatsoever. For someone who's nearly 18 to not have done anything other than slow-dancing and some long-distance relationships... that's pathetic, what's wrong with me?

I know, I'm being silly and giving into society's standards, but still. And this is definitely throwing a wrench into my plans to write giftfics, because all of those fics involve romance and anything to do with romance makes me depressed right now. Somebody slap me, please-- I know I need it. ^_^

I have a philosophy final in three hours and I haven't studied yet... and in between I have an appointment and a study session for another exam. x.x I meant to study earlier, but I just couldn't get up this morning. My bed was too warm and cozy. ^^

YAY! Can I have a hint about what you're going to do with Aoki? ^_~ Hmmm, something that will make me happy but make him never speak to you again... Ooh, does it involve nudity? XD XD
And I agree with you about the first vs. second HP movies. The first one just gave me more of a "wow, this is incredible" feeling because it had never been done before-- it was exciting to see Quidditch and spell-casting on-screen for the first time and watch the characters come to life. The second one was great, but it didn't have that same feeling of newness.

Oooh, nekkid hobbit XD XD And yay, another Creatures fan! I haven't played it in quite a while, but every now and then I pull it out and poke at the lil' buggers a bit. Though I must admit that most of my enjoyment of it came from naming my creatures after couples I liked or people who I wanted to get together and then making them breed with each other. *snicker* Actually, naming characters is usually my favorite part of any game. I've always taken a perverse kind of pleasure in naming my Oregon Trail team after people I hated and then setting them out with no food and seeing how long it'd take them to die. I'm sick XD

Okay, s'pose I should get ready to leave now... XP

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 01:07 p.m.




Well, the Paper of Doom has officially been turned in and I no longer have to worry about it. *happy dance* When I reformatted it in MS Word today, it actually turned out to be a little over ten pages, which was a nice little surprise. ^.^ Now all I have to worry about is a five-page paper on censorship in America (should be easy, it's mostly opinion rather than research, and it's a topic that I'm interested in), a four-page paper on "The Death of Ivan Ilych" (blah... but not due until next Friday, that's a plus, and it takes the place of a final exam for Novels and Tales... yay), and four exams. Still way more work than I ever had in high school-- and here I was thinking that college was gonna be a breeze... ^^;;;

And next semester is going to be worse, since I just got an e-mail that suggests that my Epic and Romance professor is fucking insane. Here's what he expects us to read in a one-semester course:

The Iliad, Homer
The Odyssey, Homer
The Death of King Arthur
Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen
War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
and one other unrevealed novel

*moans* Can I kill myself now? All right, so the Homer stuff won't be so bad, and I can handle Austen. But War and Peace? For one thing, I despise Tolstoy. For another thing, IT'S REALLY FUCKING LONG. The only thing I associate War and Peace with is that Charlie Brown holiday special (I think it was for New Years') where Charlie Brown couldn't go to a party because he had to read it. It's the stereotypical endlessly long and difficult novel, and I was hoping to avoid reading it... *groans*

Anyway, now that I'm done bitching (about that, anyway)... on to other things. *sigh* I've been a wee bit depressed lately, yes. I can't be too down in the dumps, since it IS almost Christmas and I'm very close to having a month off from school, but... I've just been thinking a lot about the past, about friends I may or may not have left behind, chances I haven't taken... I'm way too young to have all this regret...

Blah. I haven't seen my counselor in over a month, for various reasons. My next appointment is Wednesday, though, and I should probably save this for then rather than blathering about it on here, hm? I just wish I had some semblance of a social life... my friends, what few I still have, are flakes and whenever we make plans, they inevitably fall through. >< It's starting to get on my nerves, but what can you do.

Hmm... a few days ago I drafted this whole rant in response to a review I saw on Fanfiction.net, but it's since been deleted. It was a good rant, though, so I'll still post it in abbreviated form.

All you yaoi fangirls who make snide comments about "het oppression"... you might be surprised that it does happen. The review I saw pretty much implicated all het fans as narrow-minded, homophobic flamers, and basically said it was okay for yaoi writers to hate all fics about heterosexual pairings because the people who have flamed yaoi writers have traditionally happened to be fans of those pairings. -_- Yeah, okay. I guess now you have to write a particular quotient of gay sex in order to call yourself a functioning member of fan-society. Sorry. I'll get right on that. (Actually, maybe I will. *pokes dead Yuuto/Sorata smutfic*)

My point is, this is what I mean when I say het pairings get no respect. It pisses me off just a bit that I have to feel as if I'm being lumped in with idiots who have approximately two brain cells and like to go around whining about how homosexual relationships offend their virgin eyes. It's possible to prefer to read/write about heterosexual relationships without being homophobic. Hell, it's even possible to prefer them, but still enjoy reading/writing yaoi. And flamers are not representative of the so-called "het crowd". ><;;;;

Anyway.

Hai, I plan to work on some original fiction over the break. ^^;;; As well as finishing Eternal Flame and plenty of fanfiction stuff. You can critique me all you like-- I'm not as ridiculously attached to my original characters as I am to a certain editor and soapgirl, so I won't be as defensive about them. XD

Good point. I'm personally intimidated by the idea of trying to write for main characters or popular characters, unless it's in a humor fic where I can play it fast and loose with the characterization. ^^;;; Especially when I'm not passionate about the characters, it's really tough for me to separate my own image of them from everyone else's when it's a character who's been written about a lot. So I avoid them for the most part.

And Yuuto is really tough, considering we don't know anything about him except that he's laid-back and likes to flirt. At least with the other minor characters, we know a bit about their motivations, pasts, inner feelings... but Yuuto is a big blank. Like his element, he's awfully slippery-- it's taken me a lot of work to get a decent grasp on him, and I'm still making a lot of stuff up as I go along when I write him. ^^;;;

Ugh... time for my dentist appointment. I hope they don't do anything too painful. XP

listening to: Ordinary World, Duran Duran

losing my religion on Friday, December 13, 2002 at 12:39 p.m.




IT'S FINISHED!!!!!

Um, yeah. Wow. *looks at the clock* I get to wake up and drive to class in three and a half hours. Whee. ^__^ Good thing I bought coffee tonight...

Anyway. MY PAPER. IS FINISHED. And it's nine and a wee bit more pages long. Good enough, goddammit, GOOD ENOUGH. This paper has put me through so much mental anguish, it's unbelievable (which is why I haven't blogged in four days).

AND IT'S FINISHED.

Yes. Bed now, I think. *nod nod*

listening to: siiiilence

losing my religion on Friday, December 13, 2002 at 03:27 a.m.




Archived. *stretches* I would make a Christmas layout, but meh. I am way too busy right now. *sob* Still haven't started ye olde research paper of doom. Hell, I'm not even totally sure what my topic is going to be. And it's due Thursday. I'm royally fucked. ^^;;;;

And yet, I'm wasting my time on various fluffy things, not the least of which being "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City", which I just rented from Blockbuster. That game is fucking wonderful. Honestly. This is for people who thought "Crazy Taxi" was fun, but were disappointed at the lack of opportunities for destruction and the inability to actually run people over, and also the music sucked. ^_^;;; I'm a sick puppy, I know, but running around performing various criminal acts to an 80s soundtrack is way too much fun. I'm such an 80s music junkie, so that makes it even better for me. And the radio stations are hilarious... though I'm not entirely sure where the Harry Potter reference came from (Hurricane Hermione?). o.O;;;

I also watched the first episode of Azumanga Daioh, just to see what everyone's been gushing over. I want more, but Kazaa is being a bitch. *pouts* I liked it. Chiyo-chan is painfully cute, and Sakaki has great hair. ^_^;;;

Has someone actually written KanoexFuuma, or was that just a random example? o.O;;; Anyway, yeah, I see your point too. I hate it when I leave a comment that's generally nice, but criticizes one or two things about the fic, and the author refers to it as a "flame". *rolls eyes* Last I checked, flaming involved attacking someone without reason and being excessively rude and confrontational, which I wasn't.

Fic in question was Yuuto/Karen and basically revolved around the idea of Karen telling Yuuto everything about her past with her mother, after talking to him for about five minutes. With no apparent explanation for why she's suddenly decided to spill a secret she's been carrying around for probably over twenty years to someone she barely knows and who is her enemy. I simply pointed out that if she hasn't told Seiichirou, who she trusts more than anyone, she's probably not about to tell Yuuto. The author responded with the rather weak defense that she herself would feel more comfortable telling a stranger something like that than someone she cared about, because the stranger wouldn't judge her.

Point of all this? It may be a good example of why authors can get so oversensitive about criticism. Whenever you write, you put a little of yourself into the characterization, but it looks like some people put in a little too much, so that it becomes a personal insult when someone criticizes the way they write a certain character. It comes very close to turning a canon character into a Mary Sue. This probably isn't the reason for everyone, but it's an idea. *shrugs*

I have to disagree. When someone says they don't agree with your characterization, they're saying they don't agree with your characterization, that's all. It really has nothing to do with whether or not your writing is actually OOC. Sometimes the reason people disagree is because it's OOC, but more often than not it's subjective.

In my opinion, about 80% of characterization is, in effect, an educated guess. Unless you're rewriting the manga, the canon cannot possibly tell you how characters will react in every possible situation you're going to want to put them in, which means a lot of times you have to, as Kira said, take the general mold of the original creators and add your own perks. These perks cannot really be criticized unless A) they go against the character's intrinsic personality traits or B) there is an equivalent situation in canon where the character reacted differently from how they react in the fic. Anything else is a matter of opinion.

A good example of A is the whole Subaru-being-genki thing. A good example of B is what I mentioned above, about my criticism of the Y/K fic. Though characterization is in essence making an educated guess about how a character would react to a certain situation, based on canon, some educated guesses are better than others. This kind of characterization judgment is still a bit subjective, but it's less subjective than others.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is, constructive criticism is great, but people really ought to recognize that much of what they're saying is an opinion judgment and therefore the author has no obligation to change anything. And in some cases, perhaps it is best to just ignore fics with characterizations you disagree with, because telling an author that their vision of the character has to agree with yours or it's wrong is only going to succeed in pissing her off, not changing her mind.

And to close this off, "characterization" is a really fucking long word to have to type out so many times. Someone think of a nice short abbreviation for it. XD XD

Kira, for what it's worth, I like reading your opinions and I don't think you should stop posting them. Controversy seems to follow me everywhere, too-- I've gotten used to it. It can be amusing, even. But that's just me, and I'm a debate junkie, so I love throwing myself into the fray. XD In any case, you made a lot of valid points in this argument, and at least you're making people think, which can't be a bad thing. ^_^

True, of course Seiichirou was upset about Daisuke's death. It's just the whole "I'm going to be strong and not cry for him because I promised" thing... I don't think he could do that for his family, no matter if he promised or not. Besides, whenever I write him like that, I'm usually showing his reaction immediately after it happens, so I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be pretty angsty at that point. I'm not planning on keeping him that way for nine years like some characters we know, sheesh. :P

As for the X/Chobits thing, yay! Ne, how are we going to end up seeing it? Are you gonna make photocopies to mail to everyone, or send it to someone and have them scan it, or what? *hopeful look* Anyway, sure, Seiichirou can cry on Karen's shoulder. That'd be great. And then they can do other things. :D (Offscreen, of course. She's the only one willing to draw me smut. XD XD) Don't feel mean. He'll end up with Karen, and that's more than worth the angst. ^____^

Alright. Class now. ^^;;;;;;

listening to: nothing

losing my religion on Monday, December 9, 2002 at 09:55 a.m.