Work = pain and tiredness = bad = me no want to do it anymore. Unfortunately, I have a five-hour shift tomorrow and Saturday. 5-10. I'm gonna be fucking exhausted. Remember the money... remember the money... *sigh* I really hope I get morning/afternoon shifts for the rest of the summer. Everyone's going back to school, and if I have evening shifts, I'll never get to talk to anyone. :_:

Codi... *wails* stop ittttt or I'm gonna kick your ass! You are not going to be depressed for the rest of the year. Or I'll cry. And you don't want that, do you? *puppy face* You'll get through school. *huggles* And as for getting what you "want"... *glares* now what did you tell me about that sort of thinking? Yep. Bad. Not good.

OK, this site is pissing me off. It has so many really good downloads, but every time I try to d/l one, it either tells me it's too early to download stuff, or it tells me there are too many concurrent downloads. *wail* They have CLAMP in Wonderland and X2!!!

Oh, yeah, and my CD still hasn't come. Bastards better not have ripped me off, because I want that CD. One good thing, however, the board is actually getting closer to being ready to open. I never thought I'd make it this far. It's nice. ^^

In other news, I still don't want to work! *sobs* I don't want to be exhausted all the time, and have no time to myself... and when school starts, I might have to quit, I mean, I'm gonna have a lot more homework this year, and... let's see, a four-hour shift after school would give me... about 4 hours in which to do homework, eat dinner, shower, and do whatever free time stuff I wanna do. That, my friends, is not enough. :_: *sigh* I'm not gonna be able to get out of this. Whhhyyyyyy did I insist on getting a job?!?

C&C, I'm waiting for y'all to get online and tell me I'll get through this. So... like... hurry the hell up. *sniffle* (Orrrr, someone could take the liberty of finding a certain glasses-wearing flippy-haired magazine editor, kidnapping him and delivering him to my doorstep... I'm only 2 years older than Yuzu and I can look really cute and sad while crying, COMFORT ME DAMMIT!)

OK, that's it. I'm watching X tonight. Haven't watched it in quite a while, and I really need cheering up. *heavy sigh* Gonna wrap this little bit of whininess up now.

filling the space with time on Thursday, August 9, 2001 at 08:28 p.m.




Lalala. May have failed road test, may not have. I guess I ended up right on the edge. God damn fucking curb. It didn't have to get in my way while I was parallel parking.... *siiiigh*

Oh well. Last night was nice. I ended up getting into really interesting discussion with some friends, which actually made me feel a lot better about things. We ended up talking about the same stuff that I was really worried about not long ago, all that philosophical meaning of life and death stuff. For the first time, a theory feels right to me. *shrugs* May as well stick with it.

OK, done being deep. I wish Fanfiction.net was back up. It's supposed to be up sometime this week. *pouts* I liked that site, as hit-or-miss as the fics were, and as bitchy as the comments/flames sometimes were. If you looked hard enough, you could find some damn good stuff that wasn't posted anywhere else.

Hmm, I guess I'm only missing five characters on my message board... *blinks* not half bad. Maybe this'll work after all. I'll keep crossing my fingers.

filling the space with time on Tuesday, August 7, 2001 at 11:37 a.m.




And I can't explaaaaaaaainnnnn, but it's something about the waaayyyyyy you loooooook toniiiiiight.....

Erm. *cough* I am BORED. I mean, really, majorly, mega bored. I'm feeling anxious to do something again... something social, and X-related. It's not enough for me to obsess on my own-- I must drag others into my obsession. *snicker* And I want my CD, have I mentioned that? And I don't want to take my fucking final road test in drivers' ed tomorrow. Because I'm going to fail, and then I'm going to get bitched at. Bllllarrrr.

Ohhhhhh wellll. That is all. Time to play some Oregon Trail and *goes back to listening to her recently burned CD* Yes I know what's on your mind when you say, stay with me toniiiiightttt...

filling the space with time on Monday, August 6, 2001 at 07:22 p.m.




Blar. :/ That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I can't shake this funk I'm in... I'm really disappointed about the response to my MB idea. Nowhere near as many submissions as I expected. *sigh* I guess that's just the way it works sometimes. We may have to make do with the people we've got, start it up, then start advertising the site and hope some people come along.

Hit the mall and Media Play today. Bought lots of school clothes, had my brother poking me to try on this shirt because he said it reminded him of Karen.... ahh corruption. ^_^ unfortunately it didn't fit, which depressed me. even more. I hate being.... endowed. Makes shopping difficult. *snicker* I also got a phone card, a PC Gamer magazine (for the Sims Online article, damn, I so need that game when it comes out), and volume 1 of the MKR anime. Which Cori thinks is so unbelievable. Could have something to do with the fact that I once referred to MKR as "another dumb anime with airheaded girls in short skirts" and called Ferio a "green haired loser". hehehe, what can I say, I've become a sad CLAMP worshipper, therefore I must have my fix, and that was the most convenient thing to get. I still want TB 2, and....... ofcoursetheXOVA!! *bounces* Iwantitnow!

Cori - you can have your Watari when I can have my... my manga editor of love, as I think Codi once stated. I want one. Really. That's all I want. An adorable, sweet, kind of naive glasses-wearing flippy-haired genki man to corrupt the freakin hell out of. Ohhh yeah. Errrrrr *whistles* you didn't hear any of that, no you didn't.

Codi - don't make me bring out the happy stick. >< *presents her with Brock, Nagi, Ken and various other bish doing a Chippendales dance* just in case you weren't as happy as you might be. hehehe ^_^

In other news, Mike is trying to molest me. *whaps him with a newspaper* Down boy. Down. XD

filling the space with time on Sunday, August 5, 2001 at 06:20 p.m.




I've been so wound up these past few days. I'm really anxious to get going on my X message board project, but I haven't had enough auditions yet. I've been thinking about it a lot. I have no life. XD But honestly, I really hope it works out, 'cause it has the potential to be really awesome. And I get to run it. Power trip. ^____^ I wonder if I should really ask Mike to do Satsuki (er... be her anyway... I'm sure I wouldn't have to ask him to do *that* -_-). It would be funny. Mostly I just want enough auditions so I can have a good cast though. ~_~

hmmmm... In other web-surfing news, I have discovered Penny Arcade. It's funny. Although you know you've read too much yaoi when you start wondering when the two guys are gonna get together. *snicker* I also started writing an AU X fic that takes all the characters and plops them down in medieval times. hehehe... it's really not my fault that I got dragged out to family dinner, was staring out the window in the car and suddenly got this image of Karen in one of those fancy royalty dresses... damn you, woman! *sigh* The things I do for these fictional characters who have possessed and invaded my mind...

I want the X OAV. NOW. The trailer just about killed me. I think I broke the sound barrier. Hey, I so wasn't expecting that scene from X 13 to be in there. I figured the two of them might not even be in it. (Poor Arashi wasn't. While Fuuma and Kotori got about twelve shots each. Warg.) So... I was a little bit pleasantly surprised. ^_____^

Ooh. This is cool. Sort of like what I plan to do, only not interactive. Still entertaining. Nice layout, too. *_*

Poor Codi. *pats you on the head* Direct linking is a bitch. >_<

filling the space with time on Friday, August 3, 2001 at 01:22 p.m.




Today has been a rather successful day. Finally found a place to download those X character file soundtrack songs. Commentary below (at least, on the ones I've heard so far):

Nataku: Eh... It's alright. Kind of generic, and it's too classical-ish for my tastes. (I really don't like classical music much, hehe.)
Satsuki: .... Strange. But then, so is she. I'd have to describe it as... techno/industrial jazz. o.O
Karen: Very cool. Especially love the chanting voices. I think it definitely fits her character well.
Subaru: Dramatic flute duet. Nice. Does remind me of him.
Sorata: Well, it's not as bad as Aoki's (they were done by the same composer), but it's still not too terribly good. It's not a bad song, but it's not Sorata. Too techno-ish.
Yuuto: Kind of X-Files-ish, but somehow bright at the same time. It has a nice guitar part to it, too. We've (Cori and I) arbitrarily decided that it fits Aoki a lot better than Aoki's actual theme does (more on thaaaat later -_-). Soooo... it's his now. :P
Seiichirou: Oh my lord. *groans* Poor Aoki-san. Someone please tell me why they decided to saddle him with the 80s porno funk? I swear, it's straight out of a skin flick. Or one of those bad classroom movies that were made in the 70s. Either way... it's bad, and it's NOT Aoki. So we gave him Yuuto's, and gave Yuuto his. Because if anyone deserves porno music, it's Yuuto. XD
Seishirou: Creeeepy. Haunted-house type stuff, then goes into this strange techno-like melody with occasional odd noises that we have determined are the sounds of Hokuto screaming faintly from within the sakura tree. *smirk* Very haunting and very Sei-like.
Kakyou: This one kicks ass. Synth-y, quite haunting (sounds like a "deep sea dream" to quote Cori), and cool floaty voices thrown in. Reminds me of the beginning to a Sarah McLachlan song, actually.
Kusanagi: Surprisingly, it's actually pretty cool sounding. He's not really one of my favorite characters but I do really like the song. It's also one of the best for fitting the character, since it has a heavy undertone, but the main melody is light, kinda like his personality. ^_^

That's all I've heard so far. I was told that Yuzuriha's is mostly dog howls and sounds like Native American music, and Arashi's is "strangely lovely and icy-sounding".... hmm. hehe I think Karen's is my favorite so far. The chanting just sounds so pretty. *_*

Ooh... Since I last made an entry in this, the mangas I ordered came, as well as the artbook I won in the Ebay auction. ^___^ I've been doing scans like crazy, most of which I plan to eventually put up here. Not all the links that are up currently work, considering my connection was being a bitch this morning and wouldn't let me upload anything without it dying on me.

After reading X 13 and 14, I have determined that anyone who thinks a certain adorable couple do not have at least SOME romantic tension going on... is BLIND. They give each other more pathetic puppy-dog looks than anyone else in the entire manga. JUST GET IT ON ALREADY. Morals? What morals? Wife? What wife? *snicker* And I am so sick of reading these profiles that go "Oh they have a close friendship but it doesn't go beyond that".... NO. Duh. Look at the expression on her face half the time she's around him. Oh, she wants him, definitely. And I really can't blame her ^_^

OK. Done now. I am scarily protective of that pairing. If Yuuto and Karen get together, I may end up doing something I'll regret. With a fruit knife, no less. o.O *snicker*

Oh, yes, and I wrote several bits of X humor... here and here. I was bored. ^_^ Am currently trying to cast the live action X movie, which came about when I was watching Casper and there was a scene with Bill Pullman in a brown suit, with glasses, and flippy light brown hair. And I realized that if anyone could pull off Aoki, it'd be him. The rest are not coming to me quite so easily. :/ blar. hehe

filling the space with time on Sunday, July 29, 2001 at 09:51 p.m.




I promised myself I wasn't going to make this depressing... *sigh* But I suppose I'm allowed a few angst moments now and then. I'm not really depressed, just... freaked out and worried. Something good happened to me on Friday, but then yesterday I discovered what might be a major complication to it. Probably wouldn't be smart to say too many details here, but man, I just feel like rambling about it, and I'm pretty sure none of my friends want to put up with the way I acted a few months ago all over again. Simply put, I'm going to have to see someone from my not-too-distant past on a regular basis, although anonymously. I'm not supposed to know who it is, but I can just tell. And seeing this person again is going to make things complicated for me, but I don't want to give up the opportunity.

In a way, it's a good thing, because it's almost like I'm getting a second chance. But it's also bad, because it's not me who's getting the chance, it's the name I'm hiding behind. And I can't reveal myself or I'm pretty sure it'd all be ruined (although I am rather tempted to do so just to gauge the reaction). Besides, things are different now, and it will probably remain an anonymous business-type relationship, not a friendship. Which is... once again, good and bad. *sigh* Life is really weird sometimes... I guess as the song says, it ain't over till it's over. I thought it was over. It isn't (ain't? *snicker*).

In lighter news, I won my Ebay auction! (In the event that that link expires, what I won was an X movie artbook *dances*) I also ordered some X manga from Sasuga (which is ironic in itself *snicker* Thanks for the link, "pal"), 4 volumes, all containing the loveliness that is my favorite character. Life is good.

Ooh, and Cori and I co-wrote a little bit of insanity on Friday. It's an X chat fic, and at least according to the two of us (and Eri and Kimmie), it's hilarious. XD We're probably going to write more on it tonight, if certain people ever get their asses back from eating dinner and keep the ideas coming. *snicker*

Listening to my new Train CD. *thumbs up* I've listened to "It's About You" countless times since yesterday, damn song. heh, and "She's On Fire" gives me A/K songfic thoughts. Must.. not... start... another... project...

filling the space with time on Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 06:01 p.m.




Oi... Kim going to Shoujocon has now gotten me all excited about convention-going again. Even though I still have to wait a year.... okay, maybe less than a year now that we've decided to do Shoujocon instead, but still. I hope it goes quickly. I've been reading con reports and journals, and looking at pics... it's going to be awesome, not to mention meeting people I know online, which is something I've wanted to do for years.

Now I just have to decide on an X costume... Certain people have been trying to convince me to go as Karen, but... eeehhh. Me + lingerie + public = lots of scared people running around covering their eyes and attempting to get the horrible images off their retinas. *snickers* Besides, it's sort of defeating the purpose of the character. Karen is sexy. Me... not sexy. :/ oh well. Plus it wouldn't be any fun w/out certain charas, 'cause who would I hit on? ^_~ I'd try Sei, but the same premise remains... I wouldn't do him justice. Damn all these X people being good looking. lol... hey, Fuuma's ugly... it could be a match! XD nah, then I'd have to worry about Kimmie murdering me in my sleep or something *snicker*

Ah well. It's not like I don't have... almost a year to decide o.O ('cause I will have to have my stuff a bit ahead of time, but still, quite a while.) In other news, I haven't written in this in 10 days... what have I been up to? Mostly making Winamp skins, getting lectured by parents about what a crappy driver I am, and thinking about writing. Note, I say thinking about and not actually doing so. Well, I did write one little piece of fluff for the CFFML hourfic challenge. So sue me. I was looking at Venus Gospel and doing some ungodly high-pitched fangirl squealing over the fact that someone actually used my favorite official X pic as a layout, and then it occurred to me "hey, why's he holding those flowers? and what is with the shoe fixation anyway?" And then the fic fairies came along and waved their wands or something, and I wrote it. o.O

Speaking of ungodly high-pitched fangirl squealing... Cute. Cute cute cute. And I took the X test for the third time, apparently did something right this time because I finally did not get Satsuki. o.O Major improvement though *points to side bar* ^___^ Karen came in second. *beam*

One last thing. X 13 and X 14... they will be mine, oh yes, they will be mine. Finally figured out what the fruit knife thing was all about. Oh yeah, stabbing oneself in the leg is just the best way to stay awake. I'm convinced, he has not a brain in that cute windswept gelled head of his... XD ok. Time to stop rambling. o.O

filling the space with time on Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 11:42 a.m.




Bored.

Unbelievably, fantastically, incredibly bored. *sigh* I've been wanting to write something all day, but every idea I get seems like it's been done before. I suppose that's what I get for going through the entire X section of the CLAMP Fanfiction Archive in two days. @_@ Found a lot of interesting stuff, though. Like... this fic. It's fantastic. I don't even have a clue what the series it's a crossover with is, and it's still fantastic. Kinda heavy on the angst, but that can be good sometimes.. ^_^ And there's A/K (well sort of...), that's always a plus.

Watched a few movies today... Tokyo Babylon 1, which was... odd, but pretty good... I think most of the cool stuff happens in part 2. Gonna have to order it soon. Too bad I don't get Action Network, they showed it on TV today. *pout* Then I rented Pitch Black... it was good right up until the end, where they pulled a Deep Blue Sea and killed the main female character, for no apparent reason except to lower the number of survivors. (Hehe, I just spoiled the movie for you... oh well, no one's reading this anyway *snickers*) I hate that. "Oh look that character's getting a personality.... let's feed 'er to the aliens!" -_-

Just read an Aoki/Fuuma fic. o.O And enjoyed it. O.O I still hate Fuuma, but it was a decent fic. That's gotta be the weirdest pairing I've ever read-- oh wait, there was Aoki/Yuzuriha... I think she was older, it was an AU, but... ew anyway lol. Actually, now that I think of it, it was the same author... o.O

Guess what, still bored. I wonder when Eri's gonna set up the group blog... hopefully soon. Then I can actually ramble to real people and maybe get responses, instead of just babbling to the Internet at large. XD

filling the space with time on Saturday, July 7, 2001 at 10:00 p.m.




Yeesh.

*snickers* In light of recent mayhem on certain mailing lists, I'm just wondering why no one has caught on yet that more rules equals more fighting. The two MLs I belong to that are loosely monitored by admins have only seen one minor fight each since I joined them. The rest have all had a million admin messages and such, and undoubtedly they get into flame wars. And I'm just god damn sick of people whining about getting too many emails. You know that little option on your Yahoo Groups login that says NO MAIL? USE IT. >_< I've just seen way too many people bitching about this, resulting in the ML turning into something vaguely resembling Hitler's regime, just because a few people can't handle the great humongous stress of switching their membership so they can read only the emails they wish to read on the site. Blar.

In less complaintative news, I got my first TB tape today. ^____^ AND I managed to track down two more volumes of X manga. Borders is my new best friend. They've got an entire section dedicated to graphic novels and manga. *_*

filling the space with time on Tuesday, July 3, 2001 at 07:27 p.m.




Took the X Personality Test. (Well, I took it the other day, but I just wanted to see if my results would be any different... they weren't. -_-) Interesting... my top three results are an antisocial computer geek, an emotionless clone, and Amazing Frigid Girl. This bodes well for my future. *snickers*

# 1 Yatouji Satsuki - dragon of earth
# 2 Nataku - dragon of earth
# 3 Kishuu Arashi - dragon of heaven
# 4 Shirou Kamui - dragon of heaven
# 5 Kasumi Karen - dragon of heaven
# 6 Kuzuki Kakyou - dragon of earth
# 7 Monou Fuuma - dragon of earth
# 8 Nekoi Yuzuriha - dragon of heaven
# 9 Arisugawa Sorata - dragon of heaven
# 10 Shiyuu Kusanagi - dragon of earth
# 11 Sumeragi Subaru - dragon of heaven
# 12 Aoki Seiichirou - dragon of heaven
# 13 Sakurazuka Seishirou - dragon of earth
# 14 Kigai Yuuto - dragon of earth

... Satsuki? XD alright, alright, I'm addicted to my comp, but not THAT much. And there wasn't even a question on there about being addicted to computers or anything, go figure. Hey, look, my three favorite characters (well, on basis of looks mostly... Yuuto's just pretty *_*) are last on the list. Heh. I hate those SelectSmart things, though... "What priority do you place on your selection above?" blar. I don't *have* priorites. lol :P

ooh, spose I should give the link... click away.

filling the space with time on Monday, July 2, 2001 at 04:57 p.m.




First entry. I would've made this yesterday, but I spent several hours fighting with the layout. Which, speaking of layout, this is the closest to one you're going to get out of me for this blog, because envy.nu is being an asshole about hosting images and I really don't feel like signing up for another webspace account just for a few pics. For some reason it's allowing me to host the pic at the top, but when I tried to put another one up it wouldn't let me. Makes total sense... >_<

Had my first day of driver's ed today. It... sucked. o.o Every time I went driving with my dad, he'd tell me to not turn the wheel back because it would snap back on its own. Well, today I found out that not all cars work that way. >_< So, yeah, I pretty much sucked, and then Tom made fun of me because, as he put it "not only were you swerving all over the road, but at 20 mph... you've got to really try to do that." Asshole. Ah well, at least I don't have the bitter nasty old man as my instructor.

I'm extremely bored now. I could go read my other X manga volume that I bought, but I think I'm going to end up disappointed again, because I spent 30 bucks on the frickin things and I don't even think my favorite character is in either of them. (Although, there was some extreme Sei sexiness in 2, so that made it allll worthwhile. ^_____^) Typical of me though, all these more mainstream bish like Kamui and Subaru and such and I end up picking the obscure one who's generally viewed as boring. Ah well, somebody's got to like the weird ones, anyway. I should make a shrine, but that involves... ah... coming up with content... and making a layout... blar. As you may be able to tell, I'm no big fan of HTML. Inline frames is pretty much the only thing I know how to do, and I only figured that out from copying the code off of one of Codi's layouts. XD

Speaking of her, 5 days till they get back. *sigh* I need somebody to read my new songfic and tell me it doesn't suck. Kim read it last night but I didn't get a chance to get feedback. Basically it was just a big excuse to give the X couples a little, oh, happiness maybe... honestly, in most fics it's like "We're about to go into a huge battle, before which I will be very cold and uncaring toward you, and then I'll get stabbed or thrown off a building and that's the moment when I'll choose to confess my deep and enduring love for you. Erk." *dies* OK, so it's tragic (*wails* Sorataaaaaa) but yeesh, what's wrong with them actually getting laid a little before the promised day, huh? *snickers* Yep, I've got a one track mind. The only people who ever get laid around there are Subby and Sei, which is admittedly lovely to read about, but then everyone else gets ignored. Hmph. But then occasionally you run across crackheaded pairings such as... Karen and Seishirou *blinks* or Aoki and Subaru *hides* or... *snickers* Kusanagi and comatose Kakyou (XD that Cupid fic is hilarious... gotta find the link now... here. hehehe).

Ooh, and speaking of random links, character file/drama translations! *bounces* go here. Karen's is ADORABLE. Seriously. Even if you're not a total Aoki/Karen 'shipper like I am, you've got to admit this is cute. Sorata's is really sweet and funny too... "Black hair, beautiful black eyes, wears a sailor suit, occasionally produces a sword from her hand, but overall a nice woman." XD I gotta say, though, Seishirou's mother scares me. o.O Can you say backwards Oedipal complex? I knew you could... Oh, yeah, and Yuzu's a drunk. And Kanoe, further proving that she will attempt to grope and get into the pants of anything with a pulse, hits on Satsuki. *snickers* That's the extent of what I learned from these. Entertaining, in any case. Go read.

*yawns* Tired... going to go pester brother now... *salutes and poofs*

filling the space with time on Monday, July 2, 2001 at 10:56 a.m.