Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 01:24 p.m.

I miss snow days

Yesterday i was almost tempted to call in sick when i woke up. I felt so goddamned exhausted and looking at the ankle deep snow on the ground and thinking about having to drive thru that at 5 in the morning, sleeping in would have been bliss. But of course, i came in like always. I find myself complaining more and more, but i'm not sure if its because of the weather, or because everyone else is doing it as well. Probably both.

Also, my ISP has been a real piece of shit lately and there is nothing i can do. I can't get ahold of tech support because they're only avail during the hours i work, and i'm tired of hearing everyone's obvious suggestion of switching ISPs, because i'm been looking for options for the last 6 months, but the damn phone companies won't extend their DSL signals out to my area. I can't use AIM or trillian unless i resort to dialup, which i find really pathetic. Oh well, i'll keep waiting until they fix the problem or something better comes along.

My friend at work is trying to fix me up with someone who lives down in Baltimore. I don't why, but i'm not really sold on the idea of going down there regularly to visit someone i don't even know.

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Sunday, January 18, 2004, 03:05 a.m.

*taps mic* Is this thing on?

I bought the US version of kareoke revolution a week ago and was playing it again tonight. Each time i fire it up, i keep wondering if my downstairs neighbors can hear me sing, especially since i keep playing after midnight and i'm sure they're asleep. Plus i have a lot of trouble hitting certain notes unless i belt it out and that takes diaphragm. I could always sing softer in falsetto, but that feels like cheating to me. I really miss singing a lot and wish my friends here were into it. Last time i got to do it was at friend's law firm holiday party. The friends i were with were totally blown away and for the next couple weeks they kept telling ppl at work i was a singing god, of course i told them to shut up. I hate getting embarassed like that. Now i know i'm going to drop money to get the import version of KR, as if i wasn't broke enough already.

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Saturday, January 10, 2004, 08:50 p.m.

Finally i don't have to look at her ugly face again

Today was really cold. Even though it was sunny outside the grass was still frozen outside when i was busy diassembling my grill and headlamps off my car so i could replace the cracked bumper with a new one. Brent and wylie helped me get the new face back on and now she looks fantastic again. After freezing our hands and faces off we hung out at brent's house, had pizza, played GT3 and watched some videos. It was a geeks day out but i haven't had one like that in a while and really missed it. Great way to spend a frozen sat afternoon. Now that it's dark it reminds me of the Hoth planet from star wars and it's really killed my desire to head out tonight. I think i'll screen calls...

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Thursday, January 8, 2004, 02:05 a.m.

And my new year's resolution is...

...something that i can't remember. I never make silly resolutions, but the other day i thought of something meaningful, and more important, doable and realistic. It was probably to 'write things down when you think of them'.

Now that i'm back to work, i wish i was back on vacation. The HUP hasn't lost its charm, but the workload is even heavier than ever, but i figured out that the ORs are on an insane mission to make enough money to recoupe all the losses of the hospital's other departments. Of course, who gets to do all that work? *points to self* Don't get me wrong, i'm happy to be back. I even made myself go out for drinks tonight instead of going straight home and spending all night on the PS2 again. Videogames are awful, i swear.

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Thursday, January 1, 2004, 12:17 p.m.

Happy New Year

I'm surprised, i'm getting used to writing '04' on all my dates a lot faster than i thought i would. Even though i had to show up to work all night on new years eve 2003, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. At least i got to see the fireworks show over Penn's Landing from the 12th floor of the hospital, along with all the residents on the trauma service, who were begging the helipad guys to let us out there to get a rooftop show. We had to settle for window view with annoying glare and no sound. I'll figure out a way to get to the roof next year. Actually i hope they won't make me work NYE next year. They've jacked me around enough already these holidays. As predicted, all hell seemed to break loose after 2 pm and the trauma cases started to roll in. Still we didn't get too much up in the ORs. I heard the ER was a complete nightmare all night. What a big shock.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the weekend tho, spending today sitting in my underwear watching the Speed channel WRC marathon. I really hope it isn't 21 hrs like i've heard, i don't think i have that much blank tape. The rest of the weekend is going to be spent with all the northeast subie club guys, since i'm planning on catching them on the last leg of their infamous 48 hr grand tour/caravan.

Happy 2004 everyone!

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Thursday, December 25, 2003, 12:15 p.m.

Merry Christmas everyone

I arrived back in Philly on Tues and spent a quiet xmas eve at home but i didn't mind. A few friends called me and i caught up with a few others writing some letters. Plus i saw virtually every xmas-themed South Park ep back to back. I'm going to enjoy having xmas day off as well before i have to go back to work tommorow, bleah, i think i'm ready for it.

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Monday, December 22, 2003, 08:26 p.m.

Home Sweet Home pt. II

I started compiling a short list of the things i've missed about home and michigan in general, which i've grown to appreciate since i've come back.

1. hungry howie's pizza - the flavored crusts beats papa john's and their sin sauce any day
2. 70 mph speed limits - where else can you drive close to 90 and still go with the flow of traffic
3. u turn median dividers - live on the east coast long enough and i was screaming for these, making a U turn is the biggest pain
4. ann arbor - i don't know what it is, but for a college town it seems to embody all the best things about michigan
5. the trees and the rolling hills - yeah PA is pretty and green as well, but the beauty here is something i really missed when i love in cornsville, IN
6. Back Room pizza slices - still the best cheese pizza i've had ever
7. the few friends who still live in MI that i'd come out and visit - there aren't many but i don't want to lose touch with them, mostly because they remind me partly of who i am
8. eminem - no, just kidding


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Thursday, December 18, 2003, 04:21 p.m.

Home sweet home

Well, i've taken the first of my 3 alloted weeks of holiday time and i'm back home in Michigan. It used to be that home would be the last place i'd want to spend my days off, but i guess it's true that distance and time does make the heart grow fond. In fact i was waiting all weekend until monday when i could take off from work. The drive home wasn't even that bad, since i broke it up overnight with a stay at a holiday inn express on the PA/OH border. Frankly i'm not sure if i felt any smarter the next morning, but being a doctor, maybe it's lost on me.

I spent my first 2 days back in ann arbor/brighton and hung out with leslie. I really missed her a lot and had a fantastic time. We went shopping while she pointed out how lost i was in ann arbor after being away for over 4 years. I miss the town and my time spent there and i could easily see myself living in a place like that again. We caught return of the king which i was also looking forward too, and all i can say is that it is probably the best movie of 2003 and that director peter jackson will never need to worry about work again. It sill blows me away at the incredible job that was done translating an epic series thought to be untranslatable to screen, and yet he and everyone else involved pulled it off so perfectly. I read the rottentomatoes.com reviews and it nearly got a perfect rating. Reading all the critics reviews were funny cause you could tell the writers were trying to think of things to say other than superlatives or 'greatest movie ever!'.

Right now i'm sitting in the local barnes&noble doing my favorite things; sitting in the cafe with a stack of magazines and a chai tea, reading, people watching and spending time to myself. Life in philly has been so hectic that i really will enjoy the quiet and catching up on sleep. It's too bad i wont have time to go to chicago this year, but hopefully i'll make time to hit Acen or something on a weekend.

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Monday, December 8, 2003, 06:41 p.m.

Another casualty of the winter

When i think back about the last month, its been too busy. I'm finally going home in a couple weeks, and it'll be the first time since summer, right before i moved out here in Philly. I think for the first time in a while, i really miss home. Both work and play have been draining me and i don't want to do anything else but spend a week at home sleeping, watching tv, doing boring chores, not dealing with people and being fed. Now i know that my parents will probably start driving me crazy my third night back, but they'll never change, and i'm starting to accept that.

Thanksgiving was better than i thought, especially since i had thanksgiving dinner *twice* in one week. How do you like them turkeys? The first dinner was the weekend before at bob and leila's house and i had a deep fried turkey for the first time. I thought it turned out damn awesome and didn't taste like ghetto fried chicken like i thought it would. I doubt i'll make it at my own place unless i wanted to burn my apt down. The second dinner was at andy's apt and 4 of us got together and all pitched in making food and being a little family for a day. I love cooking but now i remember why i don't do it a lot. I spent about in kitchen gear and ingredients to make a pumpkin cheescake that i could have bought for . Still everyone loved it and that made me happy.

This first snowfall of the winter hasn't really been that bad, even though philly made it sound like the apocalypse. I swear the whole east coast panicks when it comes to winter, especially if they get more than 1-2 inches. Still it's been tough and lots of my subaru buddies have been getting into accidents, fender benders and bad curbings. I thought i was safe when i switched over to my winter tires, but the other night i was coming back from NYC i was cruising along the PA turnpike and this big white thing appeared in the middle of the road. I had no time to avoid it and i was hoping it was snow, but it hit a lot louder than a block of ice would and cracked my front bumper badly enough that i'll need to replace it. Even tho it irritates me, for some reason i'm not too upset. I'm not really sure why, but maybe for the first time i'm kind of happy with my life and these other things seem more trivial. Either that or i just want an excuse to buy a new aftermarket bumper...

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Monday, November 24, 2003, 08:15 p.m.

Love Actually...

I never thought i'd be the one to push a girl to see a romantic comedy, but i finally saw it yesterday and i loved this movie. Unlike a lot of romantic comedies which can make a single guy feel depressed, especially around the holidays, i actually felt better and realized i'm part of a bigger world filled with people like me. Sometimes you just have to look out and recognize it's there. Ok i'll stop being such a wuss now.

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Saturday, November 22, 2003, 01:10 p.m.

TGIS

Slept in for the first time since last weekend, it feels wonderful. It's a beautiful saturday and i'm camped out at home watching The Two Towers extended version and waiting for laundry to finish before hitting the gym. I know they said there's over 45 min of new footage but i almost swear over half the footage is new, as there are a lot more scenes up front that i don't recognize. What i love about these movies is that the scenes don't seem added on, as they were part of the original movie and simply editing out to keep the movies under 3 hrs. Here's to 4 hr flicks!

On a slightly different note i had a strange series of dreams last night. I was repeatedly irritating a friend that i am sort of attracted to and by the end of all these dreams, she wasn't speaking to me. I don't know why i was having these dreams because nothing like that happened last night when i was out with my friends. A group of us went to Loie and as usual i was irritated by the crowds and loud music, and my buddy Andy ended up picking up this really cute girl. Nobody there was really my type but i got so bored after a while i ended up playing wingman to keep the girl's annoying and bitchy friend distracted, simply to help my friend out and give myself something to do. Of course she wanted to know if Andy was a 'safe' guy and i wonder if i was just feeding her misinformation all night. I was definitely not attracted to her either looks or personality wise and decided to go home before she got too annoying. Looking forward to having a pre-thanksgiving dinner tonight at my other friend's place. I invited one of my coworkers along, we'll see if she wants to come along.

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Saturday, November 22, 2003, 01:39 a.m.

Hi and goodbye...

Sometimes i wonder why some people message me to say hi, then when i reply back they have nothing to say and say they're off to bed or something. I really don't know.

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Sunday, November 16, 2003, 12:12 p.m.

City of Angels...

Right now i'm hanging out in DC again at eileen's place after coming down to watch her perform in her law school's musical production of City of Angels. I thought it was a pretty cute show and i liked the story, especially with the two parallel contrasting stories of the writer of a pulp-fiction detective story trying to adapt his famous novel to a film screenplay without completely destroying the original work, and the actual detective story itself. It was really cool how the author and the main character he created started to influence each other and have an effect on each other's worlds. Closest thing i can compare it to is the Al Pacino movie 'Simone'. Having said all that, the performances were ok as far as a law school musical production went. A couple people had some fantastic singing voices, but the rest were...well people who just wanted to have a good time which was what i expected. I think i would have been dissapointed if they ALL sucked. It's been a busy week, esp since i've been out nearly every night this week and then capped the week off with a pretty rough call night. Thurs was interesting too since i was invited to hang out with some friends at some social event and ended up getting a few phone numbers and even was asked for mine! That's never happened before, but who's complaining.

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Thursday, November 13, 2003, 12:16 a.m.

Oh screw it...

I just came back home, i'm a little drunk, but i can't help feeling pissed off. There are a couple occasions where my feelings are the most honest, and thats when i'm really tired and when i've had a few too many drinks. I feel like i've been rejected by too many people and as a result, my self-esteem has taken a beating. I really have no confidence in myself and don't feel good enough for anyone these days. Sometimes i feel like i'll forever be that person that 'everyone wants to be friends with but not really good enough to be anything more'. Maybe i'm asking for too much but maybe i am just looking in the wrong places. If i am, then i've been wasting my time and that depresses me even more. Sometimes i wonder why i keep putting up with this shit.

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