Monday, June 26, 2006 09:18 p.m.

Lots going on. Piper is no longer sick, but she's in the process of cutting her first tooth (omigod! teeth, already!) so she's been feverish and fussy at bedtime. Meanwhile, I seem to be sick... sore throat, sneezing, runny nose, etc. It's not always easy to switch into Mommy mode when I feel like absolute crap.

T and I threw our first official party since moving to 169 Jay Street this past Saturday... a BBQ in honor of T's brother Kevin, who turned 50 last week. Entertaining with an infant in the house can be a daunting prospect, but I think we pulled it off quite well.

Work continues to be insane for me. Busy, busy, busy. I would absolutely love to take a sick day tomorrow, catch up on my sleep, use my juicer, revitalize myself, etc. but if I miss a day the office, I will be so deep in the weeds it might take me several weeks to recover...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 09:30 p.m.

Piper is sick.... again. This time seems much worse than the last, because in addition to congestion and snot issues, she also has a rattling cough that makes her sound like a two-pack-a-day smoker. Maybe it's because I almost died from a severe asthma attack a few years ago, but I'm having a really hard time listening to my baby wheezing and hacking. Asthma can be hereditary, and I worry that I may pass it along to her. She is too little for medicine, so all we can do is wait it out and try to keep her as comfortable as possible.

There is a huge gap between where I want to be as a parent and where I currently am. I want to be the kind of mother who is calm in situations like these. I want to feel more comfortable trusting my instincts. I know that as time goes by and I gain more experience, I will feel less anxious. But right now, I am completely freaked out by the fact that Piper is uncomfortable and it is not within my power to make the problem disappear immediately. I feel impatient and unhappy and inept.

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