Happy? - Yes, I am // Kawaii Vision

I'm super sleepy >_< Erm. Baboquivari came on Thursday, and it was pretty fun. I actually wasn't embarrased that I had to stand up in front of the class with over 100 people (I was up there with my fellow officers ^^) and sing songs like "Baby Shark" or "Arizona Milk". Lol. It was pretty fun.

Yeah. I took tests today that I shouldn't have stressed about. I have to take the PSAT tomorrow, and I don't want to, but I'm forcing myself to do it. And I have homework to finish. And I had to sign out for a class on Tuesday, other than Mr. Falkner's, and I don't remember whose it was. Oops.

I'm going to bed now. Oyasumi!

Mood: sleepy
Listening to: Right Where You Want Me - Jesse McCartney

Oh. My. Goodness. This Friday October the thirteenth has been the best. Ever.

Besides getting a little sick, nothing bad happened today xD Quite the contrary. I saw Weston at the football game! We hung out most of the time, and it was just super fun. Stupid stuff went on with us, and Nikki, Hannah, Alex, and Chris all hung out with us, too! Well, until Nikki went to play football with the other guys. Then it was just the guys, Hannah, and me. But still, it was super fun.

Everyone was being goofy, and everything was almost perfect. Wes and I talked about serious stuff for like...five minutes xD Lol. Remember, there's nothing between us, plus he has a girlfriend, so yeah =P But honestly, it was a lot of fun. It was the best football game I've been to, and the best part is that I didn't pay attention to the game. Not that it matters...we always lose miserably -_- Just once, I'd love it if Rio Rico won a game. Then I'd scream my lungs out xD

Kinda sleepy. Still dizzy. More later. Ja ne.

Mood: overjoyed
Listening to: Monsters Inc. - Disney Channel

I'm going through some old emails from last year and two years ago. It really hurt to go back. It hurts to remember a lot that went on. I miss a lot of it...and a lot of it is just bad memories. I just read an email from a year ago. And I remember this email relly well because it made my day. I had had a really bad day...and I came home to read that email. it made me super happy. Right now, reading it is...bittersweet, I guess. I love the email, and I love what it's saying, because it applys even now. And it always will. But it can have different meanings depending on the situation. And I'm sad to say that things probably won't go back to the way they were.

My dream. From years ago. It was beautiful. It was the most amazing thing, and everything was so real. I was THERE. Sadly, it was just a dream. Check out my layout for July (either 2005 or 2006, it doesn't matter; they're the same). That scene...with Kai and Tala in the rain...that was my dream from years ago. Except without Kai and Tala. The events, the story, and the words spoken...they were beautiful. They were amazing. And I remember that dream so well. I think I blogged about it when it happened. I don't remember when it was...but it's here somewhere.

I just stopped. It really hurts. But today! Well, it started out as a happy day, but then it ended bad. Well, sorta. First, I ran into JJ and I just...yeah, I wasn't feeling good. But he was super sweet, and he walked me over to the 800 pod. Yeah, he made me really happy; I asked if he was getting tired of me, since lately I had been so sad. He told me, "Why would I get tired of you?" he was just being super sweet, but that's JJ. It mad me happy that he told me that I have a great personality that no one could ever possibly get tired of, and that I'm one of the most lovable people he knows.

Anyway, I walked into the pod, and I'm assuming he went to his car, but he didn't go home. I ran into Mr. Lopez, and he asked how things were, and I told him. So I walked into Mr. Rod's class a little teary eyed, sat in a corner desk, and put my head down for a while. He didn't notice me until he got up from his computer (on the other side of the room xD). I spend about a half hour with him, until he had to leave. I love him so much =D And I'm really glad that he likes it when I go and talk to him. I'm glad that it makes him happy to know that I trust him. That really does mean a lot to me.

Nothing else new. Well, maybe, but I don't think it's worth mentioning. So more later. Ja matta ne.

Mood: reminiscent
Listening to: Sakura Drop - Utada Hikaru

Today was super...happy ^^ Nothing really interesting happened, ya know? But I think that talking to Mr. Rod had a big effect on my feelings overall. So yeah! Woo!

After today, I feel so...well, less stressed xD Lol. I had a TON of homework this weekend that I funally turned in today, and since the end of the quarter is this Friday, I'm lucky. It feels like there's a lot less, so I'm glad.

And I was happy today! Well, okay, we've established that. I was happy because Mr. Desai just came and asked me if everything was okay. I didn't really tell him a lot of what was going on, I didn't make it sound like too big a deal or anything, but he still asked. It made me happy because I always thought that he didn't really notice me. Lol. I don't mind that sometimes, but I do like to have good relationships with my teachers, since most of them are pretty cool. Like Mr. Rod. I love him so much! I try to avoid my Spanish teacher, though. I don't know why. I think it could be because my dad was his landlord for a while. Other than that, I'm perfectly fine with my other teachers. Hester, of course. Peters is cool. I love Falkner SO much! Ohkay, Smith isn't my favorite teacher, but he's not THAT bad. Bernal is pretty...interesting to say the least xD She's cool. Gonzalez, yeah, I try to avoid him and stay out of his sight as long as possible xD And Desai is super cool.

But I seriously think that I will NEVER find any teacher that I love more than Mr. Rod or Mrs. Scott.

Erm. I should prolly go to bed now. Not that it's that late. It's just that I have trouble getting up in the mornings now because it's cold xD So more later! Ja!

Mood: sleepy
Listening to: Gasolina - Daddy Yankee

First of all. Thank you so much, Mr. Rod. I'm really glad to know that I can still count on you and trust you to be there. You're the best, and you know I love you like...like a dad.

So I had a super miserable week. Like insanely miserable. Until last night, at least. A lot went on at home and...well, it was a lot worse than it's ever bee. I guess it's how things go, right? They start bad, then they get better, but then they get worse than how it started. So right now, things are the worst they're ever been. And it'll get better. But then it'll get worse than ever. Again. And again. And again.

Yesterday, all day, honestly, I was practically crying. I had a presentation due first period for Mrs. Hester, and Gaby ended up doing it herself because I cracked and I couldn't do it. So I had to tell Mrs. Hester...not that I mind. I really love her. I just hoped not to tell her for some reason. Second period and third period, I was completely out of it...and apparently teary-eyed, because everyone told me. Then fourth period. I was supposed to go to lunch and go to Mr. Rod for fifth period, since I was signed out to his class, but I decided I'd just skip lunch. Actually, I always do. But...the truth was that I just wanted to talk to him without anyone else (other than his regular class, I guess) being there. While his class took group tests, I talked to him and told him everything that was wrong. Everything that had happened within the past few days. And I'm glad that he told he he's always there to hug me -smile- Sixth period was boring, blah, but kinda fun. Then again, Fabian's there, so of course he's gonna make it fun. He's annoying xD Then I had to give a presentation seventh period. I went up, since I was pretty calmed down by that time. But the presentation just brought me down again. I didn't do anything, though. Not there, probably because the my dad used to be my teacher's landlord. And I'd rather him not know about anything that goes on at home. Then eighth period. I told Desai really quickly, but only because he asked =P I didn't really go into detail. Not like I did for Mr. Rodriquez. Honestly, he's probably the only one I gave the most complete version of the story to. But Desai was cool about it. I don't think I'd go and talk to him whenever I needed it, like I would for Mr. Rodriquez, but Mr. Desai's cool.

Classes were shortened that day for the pep assembly. I wasn't very peppy. Actually, the sophomores as a whole weren't very peppy. Oh well ^^

Then I went to the homecoming football game that night. Actually, it was just yesterday that all this happened, so I shouldn't make it sound like it was so long ago xD But anyway. After the floats were displayed during halftime, and we found out the the seniors won, Nikki and I went to Mr. Rod at the top of the stadium, who was in chage of the scoreboard. First, lemme explain the float stuff. Sophomores REALLY won. Again. Seriously. They just said seniors did. Last year, juniors had a really great float, but the freshmen ended up winning. Still, juniors had a close second. This year, the theme was countries. Freshmen had Egypt, and their float was pretty...plain ^^; Our country was Brazil! Woo! And our float was amazing, and we worked extremely hard on it. Juniors had no chance of winning because everything on their float was store-bought, and there was little work really put into it. I think they were disqualified, but that's just something I heard. Seniors. Grr. Their country was Japan. The thing is, they shouldn't have won because they mixed up China and Japan. They had a Chinese dragon and those poppers for Chinese New Year's celebrations. The dragon alone should have disqualified them! They had Japanese lanterns strung across the top of the float, but that was it, other than people standing on it dressed in kimonos. And they WON. They won because it's their senior year, and they barely came in second place last year, so the judges figured they should get the win. How do I know? Mr. Rod told us when Nikki and I went up there. Actually, Nikki dragged me up there so she could tell Mr. Rod that they shouldn't have mixed up China and Japan (but I'm the one who pointed it out. And I would know xD Lol, I'm just kidding).

Anyway, when we went up there, I was smiling. I was having a really good time at the game with my friends (even JJ who I had to drench in water because he was being a dork)! When we went up there, he looked at me, looking happy, and told me, "I'm happy to see a smile on your face." That just made my day. Seriously. And then Coach Chavez and Mr. Lopez who were up there were telling a joke, right? Mr. Rod couldn't really hear. So he asked Chavez to repeat it. So he did. But he still couldn't hear. Chavez repeated it again. Rod still couldn't hear. So Coach Chavez and Mr. Lopez yelled at Mr. Rodriquez "Never mind!" They said that it's not funny after you have to repeat a joke three times. Lmao. I guess it was a HTBT moment, right? Yeah. Anyway, Mr. Rodriquez made me super happy. Since I had been crying in his room that morning, it made me happy that he cared about me. It made me happy that he was happy because I was happy :)

So that was homecoming. More or less. Lol. But I'm happy now. I think that I really did need to tell Mr. Rodriquez that something was wrong. I had to admit it to myself and I had to find someone that I could tell the whole story to. And it worked, because right now, I'm super happy! Yey! I love you, Mr. Rod!

Mood: serene
Listening to: Kiss the Rain - Yiruma

Eh. I'm tired. I'm sleepy xD We worked on the homecoming float today, and it's coming along nicely! Well, I like it, anyway. Except that my arm got all cut up with the chicken wire because the stupid "R" wouldn't stay. Lol. But it's all good.

I think I'm gonna talk to Mr. Rod tomorrow. Or maybe on Friday, when I have him for advisory. It's just that...I dunno. I hate not being happy. So, I just try to convince myself that there really isn't anything wrong. But I know there is. There always has been, and there always will be. There's no getting around it. But if you can let everything out, talk to someone you trust, then things really WILL be okay. Because there's levity. That horrible feeling is gone, it's not bottled up inside. I liked last year; it was easy to talk to him. This year, it feels like there isn't really any time. I know he's always willing to listen...I just hope I get the nerve to ask him for some time. I know he's busy.

Err...other than that, I'm just sleepy. And I ned to catch up on my homework xD I guess I haven't been doing much because of the float and knowing that homecoming is this Friday doesn't exactly motivate me. I just want the week to be over xD Sorta.

I have to work for my dad this weekend. Bleh. I have tons of homework every weekend, and he expects me to work. Honestly, I don't think I will. Seriously. I feel bad not working, but then again, it's not fair to me.

Eh. I'm too sleepy. My face is on the keyboard, and my eyes can't focus on anything. So I'm just gonna go to bed. Oyasumi nasai!

Mood: content
Listening to: Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly - H.I.M

Fwee! I got my unit test done for AP World today. And...it was worse than I thought it'd be xD But it's alright. Bo nig deal. I guess it was a learning experience? Okay, I'm just coming up with random stuff, but it was pretty bad =P Honestly, I'm 100% positive that I got at least 3 out of 20. But I only know those three...everything else was kind of a guess. Heheh...heh. Yeah. Lol.

This week's spirit week! Let's see:
Monday - Vaquero Day (Cowboy Day)
Tuesday - 80's Day
Wednesday - Pajama Day
Thursday - Hawaiian Day
Friday - Class Color Day

I guess that was just a mental note for myself. I don't own cowgirl boots...so I couldn't do anything today xD And HOW are you supposed to dress for the 80's? Tye-dye is 60's, bellbottoms is 70's...right? We talked about it at school. Is it like poodle skirts and stuff? I know that's rock and roll, but is it 70's or 80's? I'm definitely dressing up for pajama day, Hawaiian day, and class color day! Just wear white on Friday...since we're having a pep assembly for homecoming. I'm super excited for Friday!

Things are starting to slow down. Well, I had a lot of homework today, but no biggie ^^ I have a LOT of reading due on Friday for my world history class, and I have to remember $15 for registration for the PSAT test. Other than that, there isn't really a lot to do. Just keep up with my reading! Which shouldn't be too bad if I pace myself. Uh-oh...I just realized I messed up. Oh well, I'll make up for it on...shoot. Tomorrow? Prolly tomorrow. Maybe Wednesday, but I'll be super busy. Definitely not Thursday.

Yeah, I'm just rambling on about my schedule. This is mostly for me, so yeah xD Lol. I was hoping to invite Weston to the homecoming game on Friday, but this year, homecoming's the same day for Rio Rico and Nogales...so it's prolly not gonna happen. Oh well -_- And Jeff! I miss you! Mucho!

Duo, I love you ♥

Mood: relaxed
Listening to: Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich