Today...was absolutely beautiful. It was amazing. This morning, around four o'clock...it started raining. Pouring. It was a HUGE storm with tons of lightning and thunder and strong wind. But it was amazing. Seeing the lightning against the dark sky, hearing the sound of rainfall....

It kept me up until six when it finally let up. So, I fell asleep for another hour xD

But seriously, it was beautiful. And today...it was grey and cloudy all day. There was light, of course, but really, there wasn't any sunshine. It was cool outside, and just...I can't stress how amazing it looked. I can't describe the beauty. The clouds, the fog, the dew on the grass...everything looked so amazing. And I guess that it helps that I don't live in an area with tons of houses or construction. I'm really grateful. All of that would have taken so much away from what I saw today. If it had been up to me...I would have stayed outside all day in the rain...just writing.

But it wasn't up to me xD Yeah. We had to go to the store. Becvause my cousin and my brother wanted to go. So, my mom took advantage and just took us school shopping. I didn't need much. Some new binders, pencils, paper...blah, blah, blah...the usual. When my mom went into the pharmacy to get something for Yuuki, I staryed in the car. And when she and my aunt walked into clothes stores so see if my aunt could buy some nice sleeveless shirts. Even Omar and Yuuki went. But my grandma and I stayed in the car. She was tired. But I stayed in just to watch the rain.

I love days like today. If every day was like this...at least during the monsoon season...I wouldn't mind. At all. Besides, we could use the rain around here.

Mood: tranquil...
Listening to: The rain falling outside

I...feel...really...weird. I dunno. I just.... I mean, I'm happy, but I'm not. Like...it's weird. I'm happy. But there's some things that I just wish I could get off my chest. But until I do, I'm not gonna be totally happy. But it's okay!

Anyway, erm. Talked to Victor today. That's someone I haven't talked to for a while. He was still the same, still getting into trouble, but it's okay. Sometimes it's nice to know things haven't changed.

But sometimes...change isn't the best thing. Being in high school...or maybe just growing up...it's been scary. Like, I'm more aware of the world. I miss being oblivious to everything. I miss not knowing what was going on. I miss living in my fantasy world. I really do. And...like I said...I miss having some of my friends around. Including Alba and Weston.

There's a lot I miss.

And I really wish I could get it all back.

Mood: broken
Listening to: Final Distance - Utada Hikaru

I need to VENT! I need to talk to SOMEONE! Okay, actually, I need to talk to Weston...he made me promise I'd call him if I ever needed to get something off my chest.

I remember when he called me because he was super mad. There was a lot going on for him, and he needed to let it all out. So he called me. And I was more than willing to listen. At times he shouted, and others, he spoke quietly and sadly. But I didn't care that he was yelling at me. Ohkay, so not AT me, but you get what I mean. It's my turn to call him. My turn to let everything out. And I know that if it's him I talk to, everything'll be alright.

He's weird. WE'RE weird. Complete opposites. We deal with situations like this in totally different ways. Weston...I know he'll try everything to cheer me up and make me laugh, make me forget all the bad things...but he'll totally listen and understand me. Me? I'd...try to cheer him up, and after failing, I'd just say, "Don't worry about it, Wes. Things are gonna get better, just wait!" It's regular. It's predictable. It happens all the time.

I dunno why, but July always makes me think of Weston. Like, not in a romantic way or anything, since he's nothing more than my best friend...but it just makes me think. Whenever it gets cloudy and rainy and grey...what people might call "gloomy"...I just think of him. Going back to the weather, though xD I don't think it's gloomy at all. I think it's beautiful, and I adore it. I love sitting in front of the window just watching the rain, the sky, the lightning...everything. It makes me think about lots of stuff. And I dunno why. But I just sit and watch...and never get bored of it. That's why I love the monsoon. That's why I love "grey and gloomy" days.

But then again...it sometimes makes me sad to think about him. I know it shouldn't...but it does. I really miss him, ya know? I miss knowing that he's always physically there. I miss going to school and feeling...secure. Feeling wanted. Feeling like there's someone there who will ALWAYS be by my side. Yeah, I've got Nikki, and she's one of the most amazing people in the galaxy...but sometimes I feel like people try to pull her away from me. And sometimes, it feels like they succeed. With Weston...I knew that no one, not even that boyfriend and best friend stealing liar, could take him away. I miss knowing that if I have a rough day at school and need a shoulder to cry on, he'll be there to offer comfort and tons of hugs. I miss him. I'm glad I'm go close to him...I'm glad we're inseperable. I'm glad that no matter what happens between us, whether we get in a huge fight or move thousands of miles away from each other, we'll be super close. But I miss him.

Okay. We're in touch enough that it doesn't seem like we're away from each other. But it isn't the same. I can't cry on his shoulder when I'm down. And I can't hug him when he's down. I miss that. I miss being with him.

I guess...that since I was looking through all my old stuff...my notes and journals, little things like that...I kinda started missing everything and I guess...remembering what that was like again. I would never forget...it's just that...sometimes I choose not to think about it. Since...I'm afraid it'll hurt. And it does. But it's okay. It's...not a bad thing...and I guess...it makes me a stronger person. I like thinking. I like remembering. Even if it hurts. They're still good memories.

But like I said. We still see each other and talk often. So that's good. But anyway, more later then! Ja ne!

Mood: calm, peaceful, pensive
Listening to: If Only You Knew - Trish Thuy Trang

Ohkay. Got home from Cali for dad's birthday. Put up the layout. But it doesn't really feel like I've had much time for anything. As soon as we got home...well, that day, we didn't do much but...sit around and do whatever, I guess. I wrote. Yuuki played. Monday...my mom helped me fix up my room a little. It wasn't messy, I just wanted to change things a little. Yeah.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest MAJOR SPOILER WARNING
Then on Tuesday! I saw Weston! He invited me to go watch POTC2. First about the movie. Oh. My. Goodness. That movie. I loved it. But I hated it so much. Obviously, the sequel is never as good as the first movie. But it was a pretty good movie. So many things made me mad. First. Elizabeth, who is engaged to Will, kissed Jack. That "broken" compass of Jack's, the one that doesn't point north but instead points to the thing you want most...when Elizabeth held it, can you guess what it pointed to? Yeah, it pointed to Jack. Will saw her kissing him...and he was upset...it was so sad. But the end is what really made me mad. Seriously. I mean, how on earth can they think to kill off Jack Sparrow?! That's not cool! But...I knew they had to set it up for the final movie. Still, how could they just leave us hanging? I'm gonna be mad at that movie for years now, until the third one's out. Stupid Kracken (sp?). Yeah...but it was a super good movie. Not nearly as good as the first. I love the first so much, it's insane. Hopefully the third will make me appreciate the second one more. If they have the guts to kill Jack Sparrow at the end of the movie, they BETTER make the next movie good. Seriously. And if there's more of Barbosa in the next movie than Jack, I'll be mad. I've read that the next movie's gonna go a little deeper into Davy Jones' history. I seriously hope that the movie is worth Jack Sparrow's death...yeah. If it isn't, I really think I'll walk out of the movie theater in tears xD
END MAJOR SPOILER WARNING

Yeah. Weston laughed at me so much >_< It was really fun. We joked around a lot.... I do have to admit that it was really nice to see him and get to hang out with him again. It's weird. We don't see each other as often as we used to anymore. But when we do see each other...it feels normal. Like a regular thing. Like...we haven't really been away from each other that long at all. We talk on the phone a lot...we hear from each other a lot...hearing his goofy personality...it's...NORMAL. And I love that. There's no sadness...we say farewell, but not goodbye. (Who said that? Was it Gippal from FFX-2?) Never Godbye. And we fought over my cell xD He was sliding the key cover so much, I thought he was gonna break it =P Lol. And then...since he sets the greeting message on my phone, I LENT it to him so he could set it. But he couldn't think. Lol, it was pretty funny. But...with us, they're usually had-to-be-there moments. Or maybe they just wouldn't be funny to anyone else? I dunno, but I love hanging out with him. He's a dork. No wait, that's me. NVM...if he ever read this, he'd get it. No one else gets it ^^;

Oh! And I'm ALMOST done with my summer homework! Like completely done! I just need to finish reading and journaling House on Mango Street...which is awesome. It's a good book that I could easily finish in one day with only 110 pages. If I didn't have to journal, I'd be done...but with the journaling, my hand gets too tired. Weird...I can write in a notebook all day long without getting tired, but for an assignment...blech. Well, since I read 44 pages today and did two journal entries...I can finish tomorrow if I read another 66 pages and three journal entries. Or I can finish Thursday if I read the last 22 pages and the last journal then. Yeah. Then I'm done!

And Omar's coming! Yey! Don't know when yet. We might even be in school. But it's okay because he's coming!

And I gotta go help fix up the living room now. It's tiring to have to move heavy furniture around, ya know? Still tired after changing Yuuki's room yesterday. THAT was tiring. More later! Ja ne!

Mood: happy
Listening to: 1000 Words - FFX2

Ohkay. It's late. Just thought I'd test this...to see if I coded everything okay. Yeah. Going to bed now. More later, then. Ja ne!

Mood: sleepy
Listening to: American Dragon on TV