Eep! Must be very careful to not spoil the end of Kingdom Hearts for myself! >_< <---came this close to spoiling herself by accident. Eep!

How weird. As soon as I finish writing an entry about boyfriends and how I don't really need one, a guy shows up at my dorm door completely randomly and we talk for an hour. o_O But talking with him has made me realize something else: I feel horribly uncomfortable when I talk with most people. I feel like I'm stretching myself the entire conversation, and it's a terrible feeling; it leaves me drained afterwards. It's probably just that he's mostly a stranger, but it realized later that I also felt somewhat threatened for no apparent reason. Why the heck did I feel threatened by him? He was conducting himself in a very polite and reasonable manner...except it really bothered me that he just showed up for no apparent reason. I don't know what his motivations are, and that bothers me. It's not guys in general, I think; it's guys I think might possibly have other interests in mind. I can talk to guyfriends or my friends boyfriends easily; so why did it bother me so much? It should be flattering that someone finds me interesting enough to talk to out of the blue... But it isn't to me. I don't know. Anyone else would probably be bubbly/secretly-pleased/ego-boosted. I feel unnerved. I don't know why.

Played online MASH. It was fun, but it would have been more fun if my friends were around to pick wacky and inappropriate options for me. :P (The MASHes we did on the plane to Cancun were very not-PG rated. No, I'm not talking about it.) Anyways, my results:

You will live in House.
You will drive a White BMW.
You will marry Akira and have 0 kids.
You will be a Lawyer in Silicon Valley.

Wonder why we're not having kids, if I married Akira. :P Though I admit he wasn't my first choice. If there was any anime guy I would want to marry, it would be anime Oujiro. Or maybe Isumi. People like Akira and Ken...err, pretty people. Fascinating people. I would want to be friends with them. I would not want to marry them. Of course, currently I would be happy living out my life as an old maid... In general, guys either disgust/annoy/disappoint me when it comes to things deeper than friendship. I can and have held long conservations with guys about guyish things like video games, computers, robots, and other electronic devices, and hell, even cars. I think I can hold longer conversations with guys than some girls. They're great buddies, but maybe I understand them and their interests too well. Maybe that's why I've never even been close to having a boyfriend; I've liked people, but it never progressed beyond a crush turned sour. And probably most importantly, I'm not afraid of being alone. It would be nice to have someone, but unlike most of my friends who find living the rest of their lives single frightening, I could take it or leave it. I'm never really alone anyway, even when I think I am; my friends are too good and too numerous for that. And you know, I never meant to rant about this. Let's try something else.

I WANT KINGDOM HEARTS. There. It's out of my system.

And have I mentioned that I think Azumanga Daioh is absolutely hilarious? Just so...RANDOM. And the characters are so FUNNY in their not-quite-stereotypicalness. And it's even insightful, sometimes, like a lot of comedy is in its veiled way. I think everyone should watch at least an episode of it. If you're interested, just mention it, and I'll try to upload an episode or something. Might take a while, but...yeah. Funny shit. XD And I didn't think I'd like the skit-type format...

Want to cosplay! ;_; Phi, what type of material did you use for Rikku's top? I'm thinking of getting something similar for Yuffie's top, because yours looked REALLY good, but I don't really remember what the material is like, and I never knew what it was called, and I might go with my roommate to Joann's tomorrow. And did you line the inside with some sort of softer fabric or anything? Eee, Yuffie cosplay thoughts are exciting! :D I want to go into Disneyland when we're at AX in KH Yuffie and see if anyone recognizes me and wants to take pictures. XD That would be sooo funny. But that means I have to make Yuffie a sturdy costume. ....I think I'll do Ayame first to work out the kinks in my sewing abilites. >_< Ayame is definitely my easiest cotume...(besides Watari, of course. :P Though I'm not sure what kind of pants he wears because stupid me left her Yami no Matsuei tankoubons at home. >_< Grr.) And the scariest thing is that I'm seriously thinking about getting my hair cut. o_O Maybe to something Yuffie-like, but long in the back... So in other words, chin length in front with diagonal bangs. I dunno...we'll see...

I WANT KINGDOM HEARTS.

Ki~iixxx!! I finally made my banner! :D If the colors turn out weird, oops. My laptop does not believe displaying the same colors that everyone else's does. Anyways, here we are:



I'm not a slacker! Yay! And Imouto? That 'spoiler' video for Kingdom Hearts you have up was amazingly cool. O_O Sooo Square. Makes me want to play it moooreee!! >_< Oh, did I tell everyone? Why, no I didn't! I hate the post office at my school. HATEHATE!! They're only open Mon.-Thurs, until 4:15. Guess what I got today? An e-mail, which I recieved at about 4:10, telling me that I had a package waiting for me at the post office. Of COURSE, I was on West Campus and the post office is on East Campus. Meaning, I can't pick up my package until Monday. So close and yet so far. ;_; At least Imouto is playing it now. Wah. And the Devyn song was cool, too! XD Maybe we need a sad song for him, too, though... And oh! I was actually able to find a lot of the songs on Kazaa! So...all I really need now is the Kenichi's, Crimson's, Yukiko's, Elena's songs, and Aurine's second song. I really want to hear Crimson's. XD Teehee, I need to make an "LH!" CD for inspiration. Should be fun~!!

Am around 4 pages into a Hikaru no Go fic now. If I finish enough of it to constitute a somewhat self-contained "part", I'll post it, which is scary enough by itself. I'm also getting scary fanart ideas from the whole Hikaru no Go...discussion Meimi brought up, and that's just the icing on the cake. I'm going insane.

Have a 2500-word paper to write, 5 calculus homework assignments to catch up on, 3 chemistry chapter problem sets to do, a very stubborn program to debug, and all of this by Monday. And I'm going shopping with my roommate tomorrow. (I really need to go shopping right now. It's disgusting. When did I turn into such a ditz? Shopping when stressed sounds like something from Clueless. >_<) What else? Ah; forgot to do my laundry Thursday. So I have to do that sometime this weekend, too. ...and I have to clean my room. (This is a perpetual task.)

Blah.

Heidi, THAT was truly some hilarious $hit. XD PENGUINS!! And...POKING!! (Which reminds me. Meimi? *pokepoke* Bound. *pokepoke* Work. *pokepoke* Or else...I'll draw Touya in a dress!! XD ....o_O Wait, I'm supposed to be threatening you, not hurting my brain...) Anyways, penguins. I hope you don't get any ideas from the poking penguin thing, Phi, next time I poke you. O_o Uh, you love me, right? So you won't...yeah. And sorry you already managed to pick up stalkers! >_< But otherwise, you seem to be having a pretty good time! Yay! Hope dinner/lunch/hangingout/whatever with Kenji and Michelle and Kix and Kevin? is fun!

Sachiko~oo, I got your letter! Thank you soo much! I've never seen stationary anything like that before; so adorable! And I'm keeping a healthy weight, really! I eat lots! Three meals a day! (Unlike some people. And okay, not on Saturdays and Sundays. But two isn't bad...really!) I'll write back to you soon! And I plan on writing physical letters to everyone I have the address for. :D Real mail just gives you a lot more fuzzies than e-mail. But I need nice stationary. >_< Guess when I'm at the mall tomorrow...

And I've been downloading/watching Digimon Tamers lately. Have I mentioned that I thought they did a superb job on that dub? They did. Anyways. Love Rika. Geri's pretty cool, too; Tamers has good female characters. Nothing against Sora/Mimi/Hikari/Miyako....okay, maybe yes. Miyako should NOT have ended up a housewife. She was MUCH too cool and capable for that. Everyone else just wasn't isn't as cool as Rika. Or as interesting as Geri. Izumi in Frontier isn't bad either, but her evolution form is...hmm. Is it just me or is Digimon getting more fanservicey? Maybe because it's aging along with its audience? Not something I want to think about. Okay. Oh, and watched more of Prince of Tennis! As always, love Kikumaru and Oishi. I've decided that Fuji scares me, resident bishie or not. (Kikumaru is cuter anyway.) Umm, and watched some RahXephon. Gorgeous show. I'll watch more of it when I can.

But what I really want is Kingdom Hearts. ;_; Wah.

I think my bad week finally went away. Yay for positive thinking! So yeah, nothing bad to me happened all day! Did nearly perfectly on my engineering test (except there was a command name I couldn't remember, but it was only a 5 point problem out of an 100 point test, and he gives partial credit. XD) Okay, so maybe I don't hate engineering so much after all. But I still want to transfer. (At this point, I'm thinking English major, chemistry or biology minor, maybe an art minor, and some scattered psychology, Chinese (maybe Japanese, too), and philosophy classes. I'm already in love with this idea.) Anyways, yay for test preparedness! Other good things: had a soft serve cone, and the lady was generous with making it. So hella vanilla soft serve for Lisa to eat. XD I'm starting to become at least somewhat passable at tennis, though I'm horribly slow due to my being flabby and lazy for the last two years, and my backhand sucks... Yeah. And my white mocha espresso was really good today! <3 And Christi darling sent me a letter! <3<3 (Must write back soon.) And my parents have my PS2 memory card now! (This still means they have to ship it to me, but at least I know where it is now.) And Kingdom Hearts was shipped to me too! (no tracking info. damn. hopefully I'll get it this week, anyway.) And the pre-health advisor person came and talked with us today, and I'm in pretty damn good shape! (Good bye, math! I'm never taking you again! <3<3) And I feel loved, somehow; random people know me and say hi to me just around campus. I never thought I was someone people would remember. Maybe it's because I'm a female engineer (for now). People always seem to remember that. And what was REALLY scary, is yesterday I was eating dinner with some of the people on my floor, and one of them, who had seriously never met me before that day, asked me, "You're an engineering student, aren't you?" I was like, o_O wow, did someone else tell you? And she was like, "no, you just look like an engineer." O_O When I asked her how I looked like an engineer, she couldn't say exactly. Though bags under the eyes did come up. ^^;; I need more sleep.

But yeah, good day! Finally. And all my engineering programs are written, so all I need to do is write the lab report, and it all isn't due until Friday!

Lalala. Mood swings'R'Us.

Eep! So many people feeling sick! Heidi, Mirae, Michelle; I hope you all feel better soon!

Now, I have to do my homework. And sleep. Sleep is good. I don't get enough of it.

I love you, Phi!! Glad UCI is going pretty well! :D (happily happily listens to HAL songs)

Kenji is hooked on Kingdom Hearts now. XD Well, as good as hooked. Seeing you that excited is ALMOST as good as actually playing it myself.

Almost.

Imouto! Enju song is very, very cool. And very appropriate. XD I'll listen to that song whenever I draw him now. And have fun playing Kingdom Hearts! (Everyone is playing it but me~!! ;_;)

And I already forgot it ever happened, Meimi. So no worries. :P And thanks for the concern~! I'm doing fine, really. No tennis ball imprint or anything!

Fixed my glasses! So now I can see again after two weeks of wearing my back-up lenses, which were annoyingly off-perscription. >_< Having off-perscription glasses sucks major ass. Everything's just a little fuzzy and I have to squint all the time and it makes my eyes hurt. But having on-perscription lenses even makes me FEEL smarter and more alert. :D

Note the 'feel'.

And I have an engineering test tomorrow that I should study for. Otherwise I'll screw up miserably. I know it. Damn programming anyway. I'm going to make some tea now. I can sleep tomorrow. I didn't just say that.

....o_O. I will pointedly ignore everything lying within the body of that entry. Because no matter how much I bubble about how much I love some of the pairings in Hikago (you all know by making me talk and thinking about this that I'm actually writing fics again, right? You know how SCARY that is?) I really actually refuse to see anything sexual in it. It would melt my brain. Cutesiness is one thing, and I fall over myself in eagerness for cutesy, but I've been known to get violent if people force anything beyond that into my perception of things. (Cement block + Neil's head, anyone? And I think if he had kept on going, I actually think I might have dropped it, too.) So, yes. Refusing the think about it. And writing a PG (for mild swearing. I'm sure I can fit in it) Hikago fic now. For catharsis. >_< Damn you. (goes to chemistry lecture and purges.)

And my new resolution is to not complain about how bad my week's been. Maybe it will go away.

Oh yeah! And I got hit by a tennis ball today. Bull's eye my throat. Yes, my throat. I was distracted. And we were doing net play drills. And my teacher doesn't believe in aiming at students to miss. And he considers me good at net play, so he doesn't hit easy balls to me anymore.

I assured him it didn't hurt at all, but it did. A lot. >_< At least it wasn't my face. Allow me some vanity.

Yup, just rounding out my bad week...

I've come to a conclusion. Bad weeks proliferate. >_< The story? Well. Kingdom Hearts should be delivered to my dorm by the end of this week. And. My PS2 memory card and my new mp3/cd player will be delivered to my home by the end of this week. My dorm is in North Carolina. My home is in California. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

So basically, this means 1.) I'm stupid and 2.) even when I GET Kingdom Hearts, I won't be able to play it because I don't have a memory card. #$^@. ;_;

At least my chemistry midterm was easy.

Oh! I forgot, Meimi! I ADORE Yuki. So no, you're not the only one.

.....don't mind me. I think I need to go back to sleep now.

I present to you 003, aka Owen the Puffkin owl. XD Around 6 bucks, apparently. But I refuse to order it online at this point. There has to be an actual physical store that sells them, right? Because I don't want to pay six dollars shipping to get a six dollar stuffed animal. As cute as it is. Even if it is for cosplay. (of course, that doesn't explain why I'm willing to buy the thigh socks when they're five bucks, and shipping for them is five bucks... But heck, where else am I going to find thigh high white cotton socks but online?)

003 is soooo cute though!! XD

Imouto~oo!! Hey-hey! Sorry you don't have Kingdom Hearts yet, either. :( Oh well. As for ripping, I guess Music Match is okay. Just make sure you don't do anything else on the computer while it's ripping. I got some lovely skips in some of my mp3's when I did that. Joy. But yups, thank you~!! And thank you Phi in advance for the HAL songs! :D And I hope moving in went well for you! (Actually, you calling me was the highlight of my day. Thank you soo~oo much!) And same for Kix and Kevin; hope things go great at UCI!

I'm feeling inarticulate today. Oh, Falling 9 is out! And *dingding*, Meimi, I think you've managed to pinpoint my HikaAki soft spot quite well. :P It's just the contrast between happy-hyper-hero and quiet-reflective-genius; love it. Especially when they're happy friends with each other like Daisuke and Ken. True, Hikaru and Akira are a lot more testy with each other, most of the series...heck, post-volume-17, too...but post-volume-17 them is cute in its own way. XD I want volume 19 to come out... (has 18 come out yet? I'm in boonieland now and I seriously have no clue.) Ra~ambling. Oh, and thinking about it, there really isn't any SumiWaya fics out there at ALL. Actually, NONE. That's very sad. I'm looking forward to Les'.

I'm so sorry, I lost control of this entry a long time ago. I think I'll go study now. I have a chemistry test tomorrow. Love you all~!! (except that #*$& who wrote the virus that was on my computer. you know who you are.)

Tomoyo-imouto! Like your selections much! :D Except, the the only CD's I have with me are the Emerald Isle on and the flute/harp one. And I don't have track names for the flute/harp one. Sooo... >_< I don't suppose you'd mind ripping the mp3's for me? (That goes for you, too, Phi, with the HAL CD! Don't make me use the puppy-dog eyes!) Anyways, the songs I was able to identify so far seemed very appropriate. The Kevralen one was perfect. XD Sarandrielle's was lovely, and Arryn's was as well. Hikari's was very pretty, too...for her, uh, more calm moments. :p And I'm very interested in hearing the Enju one...XD

And quickly now, before I forget, for your viewing 'pleasure'...:



First one's a Hikago sketch. I am not satisfied with it. But it's Hikago, soo... (I still haven't seen Phi's Hikago fanart!) Second one is Aurine, from the manga my sister and I are doing...except, um, not in the clothes she'd usually dress in. And I forgot her ears. >_< Okay, I'm semi-satisfied with that one. Even with the inaccuracies. Last one is another character from our manga, Ren. My sister loves that one. :D I really need to work on our manga...

And I'm making that banner, Kix! Really!

Glad that things seem to going better for you, Meimi. You'll tell us when the SumiWaya fic Les is writing is done, right? :D (Lisa loves SumiWaya. Whee! Actually, speaking of Hikago fics, some pretty good ones are starting to show up on FF.net. o_O Ghost is pretty decent, but Hitomi no naka no melody was absolutely lovely. It develops their adorable little friendship so well. *_* (Err, though could be spoiler-ish.) Anyway, I must go bug the author to write more Hikaru no Go fanfic.

Thanks for the commiseration, Kenji. I'm all good now. And I'm sorry you had a shitty week too. ;_; Actually, my weekend's still kinda shitty... I hate programming so much it's not even funny. It's just not suited to me. I can't believe I once assumed I'd be a computer programmer when I grew up. >_> Whatever. I'll leave it to people who actually enjoy the sleeplessness/frustration/debugging/caffeine-addiction/lack-of-a-life. Because I sure won't do it. I wish I was going to an art school. ;_; I...would really love that. Even if it's bad as you say, Kenji...at least it's art. I miss it.

Lost track of myself. Umm, ordered Kingdom PS2 memory card and MP3/CD player off Amazon. (What happened to going to Walmart, you ask? Well, don't. Ask, I mean. I don't want to talk about it.) Hopefully I'll get the memory card around the time I get Kingdom Hearts, which HOPEFULLY will be sometime this week. If not, heads will roll. Meanwhile, I have a Chemistry test on Monday and an Engineering test on Wednesday. I am sleepy. But I have to work. On a Saturday night. I hate my life.

Before I fall into bed out of utter exhaustion and then sleep for most of tomorrow... Wanted to say a few things. First, happy birthday Heidi! :D (Err, late birthday.) Second, my little sister has a pita now! Yay! Third, met female anime fans today! Err, one was a lesbian, I think. Or bisexual. But she was cool, so it's okay. Another one was the club president. She's definitely cool. And the other one walked out with me when the Vice President decided to show the second episode of Hanayuko Maids or whatever it is. o_O Umm, I'd rather not see what looks like an 8 year old boy be smothered by heavily endowed women who are naked half the time and are trying to get the kid naked the other half of the time? (I really wish I was joking, but that was basically what the first episode was. I sat traumatized through the entire thing.) Anyways, by walking out of that together, we started talking and hit it off really well. I lent her Fruits Basket 1-4 and Angelic Layer 1-5 because she hasn't seen them yet. And I'm betting she'll enjoy the more, uh, shoujo-y experience. And she lent me her CD player until I get a new one for myself! :D So yes. Hit it off. She's not really a fangirl yet, but she's relatively new to anime, soo... We'll see. I've converted others before. XD Anyways! As for Hanawhatever Maids, the Pres promised the VP that he would never be choosing the 'Extra' show again. The perks of having a female Pres. Maybe she'll choose something like...oh, I dunno...something that does not exist solely for fan service. >_< Gah.

And no, I'm not violent anymore. :D I've been surprisingly happy today, actually. Considering how little sleep I'm running off of. (I'm only awake now because of coffee. At 5 in the afternoon. It's wearing off.) Of course, my happiness might be due to the fact that my computer is up and running and doesn't have a virus...but yeah. No more violent urges now. Yay!

If you got a weird e-mail from me, possibly with an attachment, in the last few days, yes, that was a virus, and yes, I've been infected for the last two or three days. I'm sorry! ;_; It sucked. I spent all of yesterday trying to get rid of the executable, and it just kept on popping back up anyway, and it hogged all my memory and CPU, and it killed my virus scanner and my printer and my sanity and my... *sobs* And then I finally just reinstalled my operating system today and all my programs and that sucked because I don't HAVE all my programs with me so I don't have painter and ACDsee and all those cool programs anymore, not to mention the stress and teeth-grinding and pleading and, you know, the stages of grief. Whatever. If you wrote that virus, and I ever encounter you, I will 1) grow my nails long enough to puncture both your eyeballs 2) crush your balls with my goth boots and grind them into the ground like I would a cockroach (2b: if female, set hair on fire) 3) crush your right hand with a concrete block and finally, 4) leave your mutilated body in a busy 6-lane highway.

Oh my god. I can't believe I just wrote that. ....I guess I'm one of those people who doesn't get mad easy, but when they do get mad... o_O Um, if you write virsues, do yourself and me a favor and DON'T mention it right now, okay? Becuase...yeah.

Anyways, I've been having a shitty time the last few days in general. CD player finally broke. Printer in the computer lab was jammed. Debugging my stupid program took forever. (and ended up being I had typed a '1' instead of an 'l'. Yes, there is a difference, folks!) The virus of course. And very little sleep. Very little. Got a B on my first calculus test...well, actually, that's not too bad... Kingdom Hearts isn't getting to me until the end of the month. My art skills have disappeared. I forgot to finish my chemistry postlab while I was at the beach. (I finished it in class.) Bah, I have to stop. I'll just make myself grumpier.

In better news, I got an A on my first big essay. (yay!! professor commented, "I can't tell you how impressed I am with this paper" <3<3) Ordered out Chinese yesterday, and it was delicious. Cosplay. XD (So for me it's Watari, Kingdom Hearts Yuffie, fixed up Ayame and fixed up Sai. For now. I found thigh high socks for Yuffie! :D) And what's this I hear about FF cosplay? Oh, and my roommate's taking me to Walmart over the weekend, so I can get a PS2 memory card and food and a NEW CD PLAYER!! :D Okay, good, I'm happy now. Stupid virus. *splat* Okay, anger management now...

Social bloggie tomorrow when I'm not violent. Bbye!

Archived. Yay! Because I remembered. Will write entry later. And Kix, am working on a banner. :D Yay!

Calculus homework now.