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WAR!>Monday, January 28, 2002>09:00 p.m.
January,28,2002.
Location:Somewhere in the heartland of Singapore

The following is a short message i have written for the Great people of the City of Singapore and actually only for my own amusement.

Today,the Combined Axis Forces of Reynard has been forced to make a deciion on the declaration of War on the Empire of Knowledge.Our Proud nation has decided to conduct offensives against the enemy's best Units,Namely,The Maths Infantry division,Science Panzer Brigade and the Accounting Air Force.Reynard has decided to send the best of his units to neutralize all targets.In Short,The Brain has decided to commit it's commandos,the feared brain cells of Reynard for the job and right now a minor victory has been gained against the Maths infantry division's Loci Company and is pushing forward.Meanwhile preparations have been prepared for the retaking of lost land taken by the Enemy's Science Panzers.

Well,above is a reflection of what i am doing now.No one will stand in my way to getting that xbox which my cousin promised me if i get B3 for maths constantly.Lately i have been feeling down and out and beaten abd totally defeated.Haiz.Really depress and yet i don't know what is the problem.Need someone to share my problem with.Went to school,Then went Old Airport for lunch with Classmates and a few schoolmates.Fun loving bunch we are.Went home wanted to sleep but cannot because i kept thinking of four girls.haiz.I am becoming more and more like Wei Xiao Bao.Difference is he got his seven wives in the end but these four of mine are not even my close friends.I won him only because i serve a greater Emperor.And that is the ONE above.Someone really need to reject me outright or i can't concentrate.Someone must knock me out of my senses as well....Signing off here.

Always ready,Always Stressed>Sunday, January 27, 2002>11:51 p.m.
Friday
Really Forgot what happened at school except for the assignments.Later must not sleep again.Nothing much really happened except i stayed in school to copy finish the remaining seven accounts questions to pass up to my VP.Think i talked to some of my pals on the phone otherwise everything was peaceful.Oh yah,JEssies's eyes was swollen.

Saturday
Decided to skip chinese lesson.What to do?it's boring and i can't missed my much needed sleep already.Went to Yf quite late.Got distracted by my own Computer again.Haiz.Anyway,Did not really sang during worship.Either too tired or distracted .Played a game after that.Lame game.Cannot really associate it to anything even though they said evengelising.Haiz.Suddenly realised the stuff i thought about in my toilet sessions are good.But mostly can't remember them as i don't bother to remember them.Just like i wrote a Christian song a few days back and now i forgot about it liao.Come to think of it....YF was a big bore.Sometimes i don't come for God but yet i still love God,perhaps it's because i like to be in the presence of People of God.Later on went to Grandlink after dinner.During dinner a smaller sister talks back at me most of the time.Haiz.Not that i am petty but it's not really nice to know someone is working agianst you.Anyway went to Grandlink with Ben(who later went home) to look for Daryn and louis they all.They were playing pool and news arrived they were leaving for Orchard after that.So i settled to playing CS with Junhan.Walked to SPc with him and joined the Yfers still at SPC.Spent a short time talking and then went home.Miraculously,i fell asleep quite early.I heard my handphone vibrate,guessed it must be zhaoqiang but i didn't bother to pick up the phone.Just too tired.

Today
My computer sort of helped me wake up instead of lying in bed.Had switched it on to wake up.Was slightly late for service.Worshipping was quite good but i was again distracted.Service was boring.Someone really needs to tell Tiak that he Talked to much sometimes.Not meaning to be rude but sometimes he can talk for a long time without going into the main topic.It leaves people bored and that is not a way to win the hearts of pre believers much less keep new believers.Just my opinion.Had our First Accounting session of the year with Zhaoqiang,Dongli,Daniel ,Liangjie and me(Joe came at the ending).I hate it when people say i have no respects for friends.I respect friends .It's just that sometimes i am rough with them but that is also because i treat him as a very close firend that i do the things i do.I shall not discuss it any further as i am quite hurt.Another part,they said i have a big Ego.I am actually a humble person but most of the times quite attitude .How could they(My closest friends,mind you)Mix attitude with ego?Hurts me.After service,the rest of the group pang seh me and chinjan and his friend.We went to play StarCraft.At a spiritual lowpoint now,but with lowpoint will come a highpoint.So i'll wait.:)

Always ready,Always Stressed>Sunday, January 27, 2002>11:07 p.m.
Friday
Really Forgot what happened at school except for the assignments.Later must not sleep again.Nothing much really happened except i stayed in school to copy finish the remaining seven accounts questions to pass up to my VP.Think i talked to some of my pals on the phone otherwise everything was peaceful.Oh yah,JEssies's eyes was swollen.

Saturday
Decided to skip chinese lesson.What to do?it's boring and i can't missed my much needed sleep already.Went to Yf quite late.Got distracted by my own Computer again.Haiz.Anyway,Did not really sang during worship.Either too tired or distracted .Played a game after that.Lame game.Cannot really associate it to anything even though they said evengelising.Haiz.Suddenly realised the stuff i thought about in my toilet sessions are good.But mostly can't remember them as i don't bother to remember them.Just like i wrote a Christian song a few days back and now i forgot about it liao.Come to think of it....YF was a big bore.Sometimes i don't come for God but yet i still love God,perhaps it's because i like to be in the presence of People of God.Later on went to Grandlink after dinner.During dinner a smaller sister talks back at me most of the time.Haiz.Not that i am petty but it's not really nice to know someone is working agianst you.Anyway went to Grandlink with Ben(who later went home) to look for Daryn and louis they all.They were playing pool and news arrived they were leaving for Orchard after that.So i settled to playing CS with Junhan.Walked to SPc with him and joined the Yfers still at SPC.Spent a short time talking and then went home.Miraculously,i fell asleep quite early.I heard my handphone vibrate,guessed it must be zhaoqiang but i didn't bother to pick up the phone.Just too tired.

Today
My computer sort of helped me wake up instead of lying in bed.Had switched it on to wake up.Was slightly late for service.Worshipping was quite good but i was again distracted.Service was boring.Someone really needs to tell Tiak that he Talked to much sometimes.Not meaning to be rude but sometimes he can talk for a long time without going into the main topic.It leaves people bored and that is not a way to win the hearts of pre believers much less keep new believers.Just my opinion.Had our First Accounting session of the year with Zhaoqiang,Dongli,Daniel ,Liangjie and me(Joe came at the ending).I hate it when people say i have no respects for friends.I respect friends .It's just that sometimes i am rough with them but that is also because i treat him as a very close firend that i do the things i do.I shall not discuss it any further as i am quite hurt.Another part,they said i have a big Ego.I am actually a humble person but most of the times quite attitude .How could they(My closest friends,mind you)Mix attitude with ego?Hurts me.After service,the rest of the group pang seh me and chinjan and his friend.We went to play StarCraft.At a spiritual lowpoint now,but with lowpoint will come a highpoint.So i'll wait.:)

Tiring day and a deadline to meet>Thursday, January 24, 2002>11:02 p.m.
As i have said and i will say it again,"I am so F**king stressed up!"It's tiring!!!!!!!
Wednesday
Went to school.Certainly not a day i would want to remember.Had to see the Vice Principal straight away after school.Waited two hours to listen to him talk to me and 4 other classmates for like....2 minutes??of the two minutes he was talking to me the most.Because he knows Laiyien and of course knows me.Some of the things he said to me are well funny.Like,"Reynard!You are my Brother in Christ you know?Next time i go heaven i see Jesus he will scold me for not taking you in hand."The reason why i had to see him was because of the thirty over accounts question.Haiz.Have to pass up to him by 0700 hours by Friday.Went to Sports club later in the evening.Was suppose to meet Daniel but i pang seh him.Played basketball for about an hour.Knocked into Yilng's neck in the process.For one moment,i thought he was gonna die and next i think he's seriously angry with me.I mean,It's just an accident and all i wanted to do was to jump in front of him and snatch the ball and block him but i elbowed him in the neck.Maybe it's me being so sensitive but he didn't talk much to me later.Was also badly embarassed when he left the field like that and it didn't help when Joe and Daryn decide to sleep also.Utterly embarassed and angry.Luckily Yilong saved the day by coming back.Went to Newton and ate.Ate two deserts and one sugar cane juice.As soon as i reachd Eunos Station,I had a stomachache and i reenact bombing of Pearl harbour in my house's toilet.Came home wanting to do homework but decided that i will not go to school the next day.So i slept.

Today
Well woke up quite late and slack.Read finish Duke of Mount Deer.Went to see doctor at about 4 something.Jessie told me her eyes are swollen(wonder if it'll look like a Goldfish.).Anyway came back to my parents house bringing my Accounts assignment.Spent a few hours on the net instead and here i am now struggling to complete 30 questions of accounts.God Bless my Health.But i will finish it because of sheer will!Once again some reflections of Church when i think during my toilet businesses and bathing.I think sometimes Church people need to think logically as well.I said i can't be School representative because f my attitude problem and some guy will tell me never mind change for God.At first i agree yeah nothing is impossible for God.But during one toilet session i think,I suddenly felt angry,Who don't wwant to change for God?But question is even changes takes time and for those who believe in Miracles,i am not changed overnight yet.So i think i will just quit the school REP. post.And sometimes i have brothers or sisters who love the church alot.(not saying i do not love it.)If i point out some mistakes or suggestions on why the church or even Yf should do this and not that.Someone will tell me his own thinking and of course he or she must be right.And of course i must stand in thier shoes and think.I had done that and somebody will tell me to do that gain.Sure everybody makes mistakes but surely i can make some grumblings?People ask me not to judge but do they consider what i am doing will help them point out mistakes?If somebody does wrong we correct them not just simply extend our grace and forgive them,we need to let them wrong what's wrong.This is something i don't often see in YF.Okie enough for now.Will update if i think of something in my bathing/toilet sessions.

Short Note to Simon,Kevin and Jeff.>Tuesday, January 22, 2002>09:51 p.m.
To Simon,

Yo Friend how are you?How's life in KL?And how's ur studies?Saw your webby yesterday and so decide to post this msg should you decide to check out my journals.It's nice knowing that u have internet liao.Why don't we continue to keep in touch using ICQ?Remember to lend me Lord of the Rings when u come back for Chinese New year okie?Remember to tell ur bros what i wrote here okie?Just to update you a little,i am made Asisstant Cell group leader of CG Simeon.

To Kevin,

How's life for you Cheeky boy?Really missed you guys.Remember to come back and we can have a game of CS.Remember,Death before dishonour and Teamwork rules.Remember to update me about ur life.Waiting for your return on New year.Remember to tell us when u all coming back so we can go and welcome you.!!!hahaha.....Take care and Stay cool.

To Jeff,

Yo and hi.I don't really know you well but just to tell you that God cares for you and so do the guys at Brightonyouth.com!I really feel that u should just play your heart out when you are with us and not feel inhibited.Besides we are not monsters.So,do come join us in our new year celebration when u come back with ur bros.
Meanwhile,God Bless all of you and Stay cool!

Joy.>Tuesday, January 22, 2002>09:34 p.m.
Monday
Nothing much to do at school except Work work and more work.There's play in between though but as usual,there's never enough time to play.Went home and slack.Came back to parent's house to use the computer......slack even more.Returned home wanted to call up Zhaoqiang and talk and do Homework at the same time but as luck would have it...i fell asleep suddenly...Something like fainting.Oh...I also visited Simon's website and see that he had updated his website.
Today
Usual thing at school.But History Class was damn interesting.Our teacher gave each group of 5 or 4 a top secret enevelope which contains "secret information".The Info is on World War ONE.The Documents are really like Spy reports on each of the enemy country's army and strength and history and thier motives towards us.My country was Austria-Hungary.After studying the documents,Each country was to present thier findings and shirk responsibility from being the starter of WWI and so i decided to be agressive and start blaming the other countries all the while believing i was the Austrian-Hungarian Representative.THis move of course brought Britain to bombard me with questions and to question my believability.It's Fun.Came home and read Duke of Mount Deer.Did not bathe until it was about 5 something.Actually wanted to take a nap.Came back at about 9:30pm to use the computer and first thing i knew was to check out my friend's websites before updating my journal here.SHE told my Friend that i was too emotional.Well maybe i am afterall.

The end of another week and the start of another.>Sunday, January 20, 2002>07:14 p.m.
Well,Incidents here and there always make me unable to do my journal but here it is again!

Friday
Well,it was certainly not the best of days.Got scolded by Maths and Accounts teacher and not forgetting my english teacher.What a day.Didn't help much when i think of my owing assignments.Really Wish God would send An Angel to tell me and discipline me to do my work.Had wanted to participate in the International Buisiness game by HP.But Teacher say the Dateline is over.Friend then tell my accounts teacher saying i got alot of Consultant friends.Got "Suaned" by her.Went home after school.Wanted to talk with Zhaoqiang and Daniel but they got Adult CG retreat.Disapointted here and there.Called up Yilong in the wee hours of next day to chat.It started while i was Smsing him and then so t progress until i called him.Highlight was i was talking to him while i was crapping.Not really a nice way to treat your friends.Nothing much to talk about.
Saturday
Woke up at 8am to prepare to go to school for chinese remedial.Real Boring.Reached home at about 1pm.Really wanted to be early for YF but got Distracted by my computer and Duke of Mount Deer(Borrowed from school library).So i reached YF at about 3:30pm.Game had started and i was surprised at the speed of programs going nowadays in YF.It was on the theme SHINE.S=Share,H=Humble,I=Initiative,N=No matter what and finally E=Edify.Missed initiative.At the Humble station was suppose to do a kind deed to strangers in the Food court,I freaked out.If you all want to know what the program is about,Ask me at da.kaiser@pacific.net.sg During Dinner,I left my CG alone and went to Long John's with Daniel to talk.Went home after dinner.Discovered some future targets.I went home because it was my Brother's brthday.SO imagine how cheated i felt when i return home and my Grandma told me the celebration was in the afternoon. Daryn and Daniel then came to my house and Fellowship.Thanks, Daryn, for blessing me and Daniel with Vodka.Talk for some time until my schoolmates called to talk cock.Daryn and Daniel slept first despite saying i can't hold my drink...What a joke.Slept at 3am according to Daniel.
Today

Woke up at 8 plus i think.Then we or rather me dilly dally until 9:15 lidat then step outta house.Decided to have breakfast anyway at the coffeeshop.Reached SPC at about 10am i think.Pastor Basille and Danny was there.Rested in the Lord for half the service i guess.Almost quarreled with Daniel when he asked me to go sort things out with Joe which i didn't want to because i might do something extreme.Later i found myself sitting opposite Joe anyway when Jianming somehow just manage to make me agree.Joe and i sort things out and later we recouncile.And of course i still feel sore from this and so does he but then again,my friendship with Joe would have to start all over again.After lunch ,i had decided that the gang go buy a VCD and come my house and watch,Some agreed but some don't even know about it.SO,i decided to go play CS with them.Played Starcraft but i was not good at it and lost twice.I'm only good in strategy games where you give me an Army and i fight.Guess i am not suited to be a politician or builder of nations...haha.No wonder i like to think i am Rommel or even Genghis Khan.Regained my confidence when i played CS,although not top fragger,i still make myself proud when i am able to come out of nowhere and just kill a guy.I AM EVERYWHERE....hahahaha.Sharon played with us and to my utmost surprise....She actually killed me....hahahah.She can actually frag.Not bad,given time she can be our female warrior...haha.Daniel finally told the HER how i feel when she's shunning me.The answer i got was that she does this to every guy.Haiz.Wrote a song about HER and my love a while ago.Those who want it can ask from me. Ended the week with more homework,more sadness and sixpence none the richer....

Busy argh!!!!!!!>Thursday, January 17, 2002>10:07 p.m.
I haven't been able to update the journal this few days.Quite busy actually but i spent my days playing games .Really think it's time to study but no discipline to do so.
Sunday
Did not went to service although i woke up at 8:30am.Was real sleepy and decide to play a game or two to perk me up.Well,plans got out of hand and i got addicted to this game called Gangsters 2 and before i knew it,Service was halfway through.So i decided against my better conscience not to go for Service.During the afternoon,i went to meet up with jan.Was supposed to get my Shattered Galaxy disc from him but he said it was with William.So never mind i went to have lunch and two hours of Cs with him at Grandlink.Went home and slack a while before i was at the game again.

Monday
Nothing much happen at school except the fuss over the thirty or so accounts questions still owing.Owed a lot of Homework.Went home and slack.Then returned to my parent's house for computer(i am staying at Grandma's house).Went back to call up a few friends and talked with them.Called william to ask him about my missing Shattered galaxy but then again,it was not with him.Called Joe thinking he might not have passed the disc to jan.He still sounds sick but he was better.When i questioned him about the disc,his tone was one of irritating and condemning tone saying who ask me never come church.Said i am pushing responsibility to him,if i had,i would have asked him to find the disc or pay the full sum together with jan.But i just told him what i think of his tone in my nicest tone.He sounds calm after that .Called Zhaoqiang up to have a chat with him.ALl throughout the conversation i was a lil sick also.

Tuesday
Did not go to school .Woke up at 11 something.Went to see doctor at 4 something to get my MC.Came back and played Gangsters 2.Later i asked jan and joe into the same chatroom to sort out the missing disc.WAs not trying to shirk responsibility.Simply wanted to find out the truth.However,Joe again refused to cooperate and decides to blame me for all i worth.Really pissed off.So what if he's sick.Jan however to my surprise became quite gentlemenly.Big contrast against Joe.Thought of Quitting my post as ACGL since that is what he thinks of me and he's in my cg and dg as well.Talked to Zhaoqiang about it at night.Zhaoqiang said i had the F**K Joe attitude.Quite true.
Wednesday
Went to school.Accounts teacher pushed me for assignment again.Decided not to go out with classmates although i enjoyed thier company.Went home.Went to parent's house for some games before i returned home to change my clothes and eat.Went to Sports club.Joe was there.Didn't even talk to him on the train home.Also,not even a word was exchanged between us for the whole night.Since he said i am so bad,i will be so bad ......to him alone.Played Basketball and made Zhaoqiang real irritated as i have again defend against him time and time again.It was Angela's birthday as well.Went to supper with Daniel,Zhaoqiang and daryn and not forgetting Jiaying.Of course i didn't sit with HIM.
SHE was there.Her hair looks great and i just found out i still like her.HAiz.WEnt home and had a long talk both with Daniel and Zhaoqiang.

Today
Nothing much at school.Teacher yet again ask me for my accounts.Had quite a fun time at school.Saw Vanessa again and what can i say,She is getting prettier with every year.Well i guess if SHE isn't fated to be with me,Vanessa will also be accepted.hahaha.Wishful thinkings.....Went home and talked with Daniel again.Chatted about the CHU Mei Feng incident in Taiwan and some other stuff.Took a nap straight away after that.Woke up.Ate dinner.And came back to use the internet and now i am here updating my journal.Still got lots of holiday assignment.Later must go back and do ...MUST NOT SLEEP!Before that...i shall go and browse through some of my pal's journals.And Not Forgetting Ganagsters 2...IT's Mob time!

Plain tired.>Sunday, January 13, 2002>01:13 a.m.
Saturday.
To start it off,i had to go to school by 9:30am. for chinese remedial(because of the screwed up chinese test.)Because of this,i could not make it for prayer time during YF.I reached Yf at about 5 minutes to 3 or later.It's the first YF programme of the year.We had a skit in which i was Robin Hood,played it by being lovesick.Friends later told me that my acting was very real,little did they know that i was really lovesick and out of love...:)Met my CG after a few more programs,the members have changed even before we met,looks like the committee and CGls really worked hard on getting people into thier CGs.A sister still remains sad over the change of YF every Year.She's in my CG.Discussed about our ambitions and expectations of CG.
After that was DG time,the old way of teaching Students in small group has been revived again.Praise God!Jan had to leave us and join Elisha from next week onwards.Joe qwould be coming in though.But life's gonna be different without Jan.And of course,he's reluctant to leave.
Dinner was with Jianming and Likai at the foodcourt.Nothing really fun happen.Went to CS after dinner,was not really fun,did now reallly enjoy the game.
A few minutes ago,i had quarrel with my friend over the project.haiz,I hate projects and i still have 3o Accounts questions due on Monday.SHE ,i think is shunning me also.THe Song describing me now is Wu Yur Tian's Wen Rou..

Stressful weeks and weekends>Saturday, January 12, 2002>01:32 a.m.
I was too busy relaxing from school and playing that i had forgotten to update my journal.
Well,Tuesday wasn't that fun or memorable.Prayed for Daniel's Napfa test.Told me his Granddad passed away.
Wednesday,Was supposed to go to Bowling but instead went to eat and play at a Friend's house.Joked quite a lot to my friends.Went to Sports Club later than usual as i was too engross in playing at my friend's house.Ran one round with Daniel.Watched our guys lose to the German players.The Germans were good with the basketball.Went to supper later,throughout that night,SHE never even say hello to me.Quite Sad.My Maths and Chinese test Screwed up also.
Thursday was just like any other schoolday,We had our writing lesson conducted by a australian or British lady.My Friend purposely drop the paper so as to see her boobs when she bend down to take the papers.The Teacher were cool and direct also.
So now ,a few hours earlier when it had been Friday,i did my accounts test,the accounts teacher made me change place and try to be cool,Well she has only succeeded in making us hate her.Had to go for Chinese remedial later just because i forgot to prepare my chinese test and failed it...never mind,i'll get myself out of the mess.Principal gaVE us up to Monday to finish up Holiday Homework.What an impossible assignment man.By the way,i am getting Shattered Galaxy this Sunday from Wan Tze..it's been bought with a discount.Went to my cousin's house at night to check out his new computer and games,played empire earth which is a really cool game.After that,now i am here.I had Asked Daniel to convey a message for me to HER but he Forgot what is the message about....really make me feel pathetic back then.I am Going to sleep now....a few hours later i would need to go to school.

Stress.>Monday, January 7, 2002>06:44 p.m.
These few days hasn't been easy for me.Schoolwork caught up with me and well,i can't shake it off.I have retired as Assistant Monitor of my class....So relaxing,Don't need to take attendance every now and then .Had a test today.A physics test to be precise.Didn't do too well for it i guess.Good news is i understand maths lesson.Saturday was an exciting day because it's the day i became an ACGL.(Funny how i always get Assistant jobs)Anyway,I found out i was in the outreach ministry also,Funny thing is i never sign up for it in Camp Eureka.Anyway,i am the School representive in School Outreach make a difference(SOMAD).Unbelievable!I am an attitude problem child in school,at least that's what the Principal think.I don't think my impression is that good on my Vice-Principal also,How am i going to be the Heaven Ambasassador To Chung Cheng?Actually,i didn't sign up for any ministry.Back to ACGL stuff,i am a Brother's Acgl,which makes him the Cgl.Didn't really like him and contemplated on rejecting him when Shirley ask him if i want to work with him anot.However,felt that i should let God make the Decision and so i accepted the post and wait for a miracle.Later came the Cg members "auction" time.Wanted to get a few members into my Cg but failed.Stopped fighting for them when i realise i will be doing the thing i never apporve,Fighting for Cg members.So i just sat there quietly and bitterly thinking how am i going to work with out a close friend by my side(Joe is in my Cg but i need another one also)Talked about it with Yilong,daniel and the others.Only manage to calm my bitterness down a bit. Took the Bitterness in my heart out to dinner.Had a talk with Chin Teck who open up my mind.He said:"Why not let God help you build up the support you need among the strangers in ur CG and let God Show you his Miracles"Later promised him that i would go back and spend time with my Dad up there.Went CS later.Went home and spent some time with my Dad up there.Got the impression that God wants me to confess what i feel towards this Cgl of mine.Wanted to do just that on Sunday,but no chance.On Sunday,we went to play Cs after Service,the service was great.it's nice tohave worship again after seeker services.After CS,Joe came to my house and we talked about our future cg then i went to do homework after he went home.So there,My update for the past three days including today.Ciao!

Choice..>Saturday, January 5, 2002>02:04 a.m.
Nothing much happen at school except the promise of more tests and tests and tests.The English teacher is still the bitch she is.For the first time ,i can understand what the teacher is talking about in Maths!Felt a sense of accomplishment.Never felt so serious about studying for a long time liao.Could God be moulding me?Anyway,talked with jan at night just now.It's the first time in so many months that we talked so long.Made a you back me up i back you up pact with him about Acgls....I now have the same problem as Jan.Shirley has asked me to be Acgl,i told her i consider.So now i also don't know what to do?Maybe will talk to the gang about this.This may be God's calling but hey,anything can happen.I want to serve but then i am worried about setting a example and also if i am doing this only for personal glory anot.....This decision must think through one...so cannot afford to play.Will update the progress tomorrow.So until then,Take care!

School again!!!!!>Thursday, January 3, 2002>10:28 p.m.
Haiz,it's the second day of school and i'm already loaded with homework!!!!Well,that's what u get in a SAP school.....haha give me a chance to be proud of my school lar.Nothing interesting happen in school.But i am gonna burn the midnight oil to finish my assignments......Damn!Nothing really interesting happen today.So this entry's gonna be short.Tried to chat with Daniel on the phone in the wee hours of this morning but then again,he's busy as usual.Oh yah,my discipline master is still the joker,telling jokes while in class.I like him,Serious when you need to only.Not like my English teacher,Damn serious,no life one.She is such a snob always insulting us.And she told us she's a Christian ,i mean good i know there's good and bad christians but she is just so proud of herself,i guess someone needs to remind her that she's a sinner just like any of us.Jan just told me he's an Acgl,that's great,congrats to the others who have made it.Which makes me starts thinking,if anyone of them cannot take it,will he or she be the next Brother or sister which i had mentioned yesterday?will they just leave,well that depends on thier maturity i guess.I guess Acgls shouldn't be made just like that,i think the YF should really train them and confirm and reconfirm the YFers commitment.I don't know about the plan yet but i think they wouldn't even give training.That's my guess of course.Haiz.....One more day to YF reshufflement..........

A Fresh Start!~>Wednesday, January 2, 2002>11:05 p.m.
Yo everybody.How's the first day of school for all of you?Mine was very relaxing.As this year is my O'levels,i am preparing to go kamikaze over maths...i will whack it until i pass.Same for all my subjects,i am very determined to go back to my former glory.Must see the teacher's surprise look when i leave school.Anyway i think i failed to gain any ground in my Re-exams.Got my yearbook today ...everything was good... saw the face of my former crush in school.She's getting prettier and prettier but then again,somehow i still feel that SOMEONE is still the one .After school,went to Marine parade and had lunch with my classmates,talked cock with one of my friends on the bus home,Then went to have a hair cut.Had wanted to go to sports club.Zhaoqiang message me to tell me that there's sports club.However,Daniel SMs me later on to tell me don't have.Sometimes,even the various departments and committee's church have thier cock-ups.Can't stand it.No sports club also wait until the day itself to send us an email to inform us.As my Granny puts it in hokkein:"Stomachache liao then find toilet paper".My reflection on church in the past year,the Yf Committee and whoever else is in charge made a lot of mistakes in the past years.They made a brother who is not yet matured in the Lord in the committee....He left and thank God he's back.Made yet another sister CGL,dunnoe what happen but i think she couldn't take the pressure and back.Still waiting for her to come back.Changed the format of the Yf Programs.DGL time suddenly become lectures,Student dun pay that much attention liao.Worse still...never consult us at all.Some people believe people train while on the job,sad to say,this was a mistake,Perhaps it was a case of the people themselves couldn't take the pressure.However,they shouldn't have let them gone in without preparations.They(the In-charges)need to understand YF is not Russia with a huge population that they can afford green conscripts to make suicide charges.What disturbs me is some of the committee or church members when told about what is wrong,Still defend thier actions.Sure we should make allowances,but do we still make allowances if we know that it will cost a brother or a sister?Even if only one brother or sister falls away because of a change,we should sit down and discuss what went wrong.Not that i am not happy of the leadership totally,but just feels that a little change is necessary here and there.Anyway,my views does not reflect the stands of the youths in YF and these are just my little observations

The Answer>Tuesday, January 1, 2002>03:21 p.m.
Just woke up.I had reach home at about 8am from the watch nite service.Took some time to accept that so this is the new year now.It was an eventful service yesterday. Yesterday,Went to play Cs with Daryn, Joe and Liangjie at Grandlink.Played till about ten minutes to 8pm.Dinner was at KFC.Reached SPC later on.Had hoped that She would be there but alas,we were very very early .Daniel and gang came at about 9:30pm.Daniel then had a heart to heart talk with Yilong.SHE came and request to talk to Daniel,but Daniel said he would go later.So off he went to Her after the talk with Yilong.According to buddy Daniel,Her opening line was:"YOu must take care of Reynard,i dun want him to become another *****(a bro which i would not reveal)"SHE went on to ask this dear bro of mine to somehow discouraged me from liking her.So here i have this sort of direct answer from Her already.However,i think she needs to know that although i accept and respect her decisions,I will still like her until God provides another one....Heehee.So during this time Girl,i hope we can be friends....pls do not shun me away as you have done to the others...if you do that.......haiz.so i think i will not pressure you liao,not that i have anyway,but guess i wun think of having any relationship for now. I was really happy to see Her so happy at the worship towards the end of the service....she seems so childlike...something i have not seen in a while.Of course i am not worshipping just to see her lahz!Anyway,after the service ,we all had breakfast at Mac but she's not there...she was too tired i think.Talked to the gang alot especially to Daniel. So now i guess i'll just dedicate "Right Here Waiting For You" to Myself then.CIAO!

Boring!!!!>Monday, December 31, 2001>01:10 p.m.
YEsterday was a very boring day....laze at home playing the com whole day until dinner time.Spent quite a long time packing my stuff.Ended the day by giving a warm reception to Joe and Daryn who came to my house to stay and then go together to the watch nite service. Today,Woke up at 12 something.nothing really fun.However with those jokers at my house,there's bound to be something up.Daniel said he would be coming in the morning but he never call.Pan seh kia!Later on i'm going to the watch nite service so till then,guess i'll just play and play and play!hahaha so bye all!

Sunny day,Gloomy feeling.>Sunday, December 30, 2001>01:51 a.m.
Woke up to the reality of having my phycis Reexam.Took the exam and found that it wasn't so hard except for some topics.Got a failing feeling. Later on,had to rush back and dress up for the East Coast outing,was late as usual for meeting liang jie,kevin joe,simon and jeff in Eunos but just brush it aside in the usual Reynard's style.We went there as one of the second batch and found out that not even a quarter of the YF will be there......haiz!Laze around waiting for others until i cannot tahan anymore and there we go shooting each other in CS.Played arcade for a lil while after that.When we went back to our gathering area...Tri and CS were there.Dunnoe if i am overeacting but Joe appeared not quite himself throughout the day.One of the highlights of the day was when Tri and i had quite a long talk about HER.We discuss my chances and possibilities and opportunities and ideas to express my love or hide it.She talked about how he would make his target smile and that will brighten up his day.....It's the same for me also,i just like her smile.:) It was followed by another talk with Daniel and Liang jie on the same topic.It did not last as our short attention ddecide to focus on who liangjie like in YF instead.A smart guy he was but he remained silent and stoned and finally gave us the world famous answer:"I don't know". And about HER,i gave her a lot of hints but i don't know if she has seen it or just plain blur to notice them.Afterwards i was just content gazing at her while she was not looking......MAkes me even lonlier.While i was fighting a losing battle....Yilong seems to be gaining Ground.......i can see Tri really like CS alot. Dinner was uneventful except when Kevin accuse me of saying HEr and another YFer are lesbians..... Later on the Bus,i think i encountered the first signs of rejection...receive some condolences from Yilong and Cherrie.Very tired while typing this now but still must Perservere like what i told Joe a few minutes earlier.Likewise i must keep on fighting the Battle for HER. Sometimes looking at Tri and his target just makes me so jealous.Girl how i wish i could hold your hands and just walk around the park with you.Girl i just hope you will find out you are the HER soon and so pls come and tell me your decision!Not forcing you but just need to make sure i am not chasing after the wind.I'll just end here cos i need sleep.So until next time till i see you again Journal! Reynard's Quote of the day"A Brilliant man would find a way not to fight a battle"-Apparently by Yamaoto Irosouke in Pearl Harbour.

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