"But I swear it was in self-defense."

like a dream on the ocean, always drifting away
But this time I think I got it. My last day of work was perfect! My boss came in hung over and just wnated to talk about my files and then leave. That was pretty much what I wanted to do also. I am so happy about leaving but it's the coming back part that will be tricky. No job, no money: a pauper. It's all crazy but especially now. I have no idea what I am going to do for the next five weeks or what I will do when I get back. But from here on out I get to live each day as each day. I got Helen's red journal to take with me as my official writing receptical of my trip. I don't have a lot of definite plans wherever I land but I have a lot of grand plans of having fun. MY goal is to not write personal emails while I am away but just write here when I can. I am real tired from not sleeping and the two martinis and four beers. Can't wait to sleep on the plane. Hope to see y'all soon.

here today, gone to Maui, 11-14
I just got back from my last trip to a neighbor island that my company will ever pay for. Of course when I think of it that way I am sad. I made the most of it though. I drove on the Hana Highway until I got too dizzy and deceided to turn around. I had breakfast in a cool little cafe in Makawao. And then watched a plane land almost right on top of it me. It was cool, real cool but my digital camera didn't focus very fast so I didn't get a decent photo of the belly of the plane. I liked just driving and letting my mind drift. Oh, then I had lunch in Haiku at this vegi place. A huge salad with marinated tofu. It was sort of like a vegitarian Mexican salad, with beans black olives salsa guacamole all on a big bed of lettuce tomatoes and onions. It was good eating but a bit too big. I did some work too today but it blended nicely with my plans to see a side of Maui I don't normally see. The best part is that I know I must have enough frequent flyer miles for a free flight or two by now. So I did get something out of work. Hmm, little travel benes like that were the best thing about work. Sitting in the office was the WORST. It was just me looking at Brad, and Brad looking at me, and then our boss Mike looking at both of us. No dividers or nothing, just a door to an office and three desks in opposite corners. And then when Mike was on the phone he was really loud and obnoxious, it was hell. I felt so naked whenever I made a call because as soon as I would hang up Mike would ask me about it. It SUCKED. So I am glad I am getting out of here. Glad to be traveling and stopping in on various friends; glad to have a chance to go to a foreign country.
Some of the things that will suck, besides the ones pointed out at www.oddtodd.com, are Not having a computer, a digital camera, a DSL line, a GPS unit(even if I rarely used it I still thought it was cool) and not living close to my office anymore. But the positives far outweigh the negatives and that's all my smile is filled with right now - thoughts of freedom. I don't have to see Mike EVER again. woo hoo! that alone counts for alot! Now I have to go home, get ready for my leaving-work-going-traveling gathering I am having tomorrow. that should be nice. I also have to find my passport! that might be important when I am trying to get on a plane in Miami that is bound for Santiago, Chile. Who knows though, even if I get bounced from the plane I could spend some time hanging out with Mike Black . . . his two very young kids and his wife. It would be cool to play the Black man in pool but that wouldn't last forever. I remember after work we would play for each other's ties. I think he won one of my better ties and then never wore it to work again so he wouldn't lose it back to me. Bastard. I'll get him.
But first I gotta find that passport.

lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void
All of a sudden the finish line is so close. But the finish line is really a starting line. I don't mind that all because I am looking forward to a new start. However, tonight was not exactly the new start I was looking for. I helped a friend of a friend win $100 by giving her my underware and kissing two people I really didn't want to kiss. But in a way I was part of a winning team, and that's worth something. At least to me. And she did buy me a beer for my troubles so that goes a long way.
I really like this break thing so I can separate thoughts with a simple "br". Helen hipped me to it last time I saw her. I know Chris told me about it a long time ago but that was a long time ago :) Now I am using it and it is working for me. I will never be an HTML junky because my emphasis is not in the presentation but in the substance. The word followed by the word. It's all about the word for me. And if the words don't make perfect sense, then I have fallen short. And Lord knows I don't like to lose. Words can be so beautiful and all encompassing, that they are all I need . . . sometimes.
Even though I have a few more days of work, there is no emphasis there. I get to go to Maui on Wednesday, I have a party at my house on Thursday and then on Friday night I board the plane. How easy is that!? Then I board another plane a week later. Then I board another plane nine days later. And another one the day after that, and another one fourteen days after that, and two days after that. That's alot of frickin planes, but that just means a lot of good times. I can't wait. Really! It should be an affair to remember. At least the take-offs and landing will be :)
That's all I have for now. And if there are no internet cafes in Boston and Chile, then could be it for awhile. Stay tuned though, because where there is a will there is a dead body. Ha!

this time will be my time
I just bought my ticket to Santiago, the trip is on. I was kind of debating whether or not I should go to Chile or just do some exploring around California and Hawaii. But then I thought back to when I decided to not go on my trip to SF because of work and the timing of things; I really regretted not taking that trip. And it has sort of haunted me ever since. So I can't let that happen with something as big as this. It really could be now or never for me on this one so I owe it to myself to be extra self-indulgent and hedonistic and just go. It will be a present to myself, which will preclude me from getting presents for anyone else :) Not really, but sort of. So don't think I am getting you something great while I am in Chile, cuz it ain't happening.
I just rushed over to this internet cafe because I realized that if I didn't book the fare by midnight PST, the would go up. That means my trip takes place in less than three weeks - woo hoo! Just before this I saw Russell Malone, jazz guitarist, and Bruce Hamada, very good local bassist, play at the Academy of Arts theater. It was fairly well attended but they should have had more people there. Things like this aren't very well promoted in Hawaii, thus the low turnouts and the diminishing likelihood of good acts like this coming in the future. Oh the woes of living on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. But soon I will make my jailbreak and get back to the mainland and partake of all the copious amounts of good entertainment to be had there. Unfortunately I won't have connections to get in free to the gigs there. doh!
Crazy, that's what I think about my trips when I spend half a moment to take them all in. I could have done a couple of shorter trips for less but nooo. Not me. I have to go to Boston and the bottom of the earth to freeze my butt off because it just too damn nice and warm where I am. One of the cool things about being down in southern Chile during their Summer is that the sun is out for 18 hours. That's a lot of time for sightseeing and extracurriculars. I am not sure how many 18 hour days of fun I can handle in a row but I will see what I can do. Rob Perez made a joke about there not being any beer in Chile and for a second I thought, what?!? But then he said he was kidding. My main goal is to see all I can of the physical beauty of the land, by foot, by horse, by boat, by train or by plain, it doesn't matter, I just want to take it alllll in. So drinking will be low on my to do list, especially since I want to be able to get up early to get a good start on each day. If I were traveling with someone I think then I might be more prone to waste a day, but not solo.
I can't wait for Friday night and to get on that plane. I am not really thinking about the plane itself, just what it will deliver me to. Not quite the Promised Land of Moses but pretty darn close. Clean the taps and polish the glasses, Anchor brewery here I come. That, and the Dovre on an unsmokey night, that's what I am looking forward to. Oh and Michaelangelo's and Spec's and maybe Delaney's. Those places and Golden Gate Park during the day, that's it. And maybe . . .

Burning Airlines, 11-12-01
"I respond to the carrot better than the stick" - that's some funny shit 'topher! The best part was the visuals. One person tempting you with a carrot and another taunting you with a stick, kind of like in a cartoon where you had a wide-eyed, what-should-I-do? sort of look on your face trying to decide between the two. You know, like Binky from Love is Hell by Matt Groening. See, now that's some funny shit! And I see where you have been practicing in pool for my arrival, I think that's very appropriate seeing as I am coming to town early Saturday morning, going to watch Cal lose to stanturd and then I am going straight to the Dovre and waiting for you. I will probably win another Toyota truck while I am waiting for you. Actually, whenever I think about that shot I made to win that truck I get a little upset because that dude didn't come through with the keys to his truck. Drunk bastard. I am with Hemmingway in that I think people should be forced to follow through on the stupid stuff they say when they are drunk. That way people wouldn't get so full of themselves and say such stupid shit when they are drunk. And if you think I am using the word "shit" alot, it's Chris' fault. I have been reading his live journal and it's rubbing off. It's either that or the mixed tapes he makes for me. They don't say "shit" alot in them but they often make me want to go out and kick the shit out of some lame poseurs. But I don't because I am not like that. I'm a peacemaker.
I can't believe I woke up to another crashed airplane today. Preliminary reports seem to indicate that it was not a terrorist act but I am not too sure that will matter for the struggling airline industry. I am still flying, that's for damn sure. I need to get out and about! SF/Sac will be real nice because I am dying to get a little could air into my lungs. Just to roam the streets with little more aim than to hit a good spot to sit and sip. Mmm. Take in the sights as they pause and then pass by. Lots of people I would like to see and hang out with in the City. Then going on to Boston will be fun. I hope Strom will be up for a fairly big night on my birthday. I haven't seen him on either of our birthdays in quite a few years so it should be a bit crazy. And then I am barely in SF for 14 or so hours before I am on a flight down to Chile. Don't know eactly what that will be like I hope to do a lot of day hikes in the Lake District and get down to Patagonia too.
Traveling is always so nice. I like how I can just clear my mind and experience everything around me. I am not worrying about work or time of day or what is next, I can be there in the moment, that's what I love about traveling. Foreign travel is a bit different because I never know what to expect. I can pantomime my way through getting something to eat, and I can formulate a proper question in Spanish, I just won't fully understand their answer. So getting around will be a little tough. I hear that hitchhiking is common so that will be fun - as long as they don't expect me to live by the book.(that's only funny if you saw the Jay and Silent Bob movie) It's going to be fun all around no matter how you look at it. The tough part will be coming back. But I will save those thoughts for a later bridge.
It's work time now and as long as I can maintain for three days and actually get some work done then I think I can cruise on Thursday and Friday. Hell, what are they gonna do?? - fire me?! Ha ha ha ha! Gordon Biersch for lunch anyone? Come on down. I gotta get.

DUMP-truck
Wow, if Chris is posting more often than me then you know I must be lagging :) It's good to see him posting more often though. Now he has to start working overtime to bust out some tapes for me and my traveling ways. I have my ticket to SFO and arrive Saturday morning at 7am, where I am greeted by my limo driver and wisked away to breakfast, followed by a brutal display of might against mice. Yes, I will be going to the "Big Game" between the Good Guys (CAL) and the Despicable Guys (stanturd). Unfortunately, this year Cal looks like mice, proverbial whipping boys if you will. I wouldn't normally want to see an ass whooping of this proportion on a team I love BUT I get a chance to hang with Monique so that makes it worth it. Besides I haven't basked in the smug air which drenches Shallow Alto's boundries in quite some time.
As for traveling, look out, here comes the Spider Man. or something like that. So I am not a bona fide super hero yet but if beers were criminals I would be the ace crime fighter. Cleaning up entire towns in a single night, freeing them from those tasty hooligans. I sort of feel like qualifying that so I don't sound like the wanton, Dirty Harry of drinking, but hey, if you put it that way, I kind of like it. Now I wonder where I apply for Mayor?
Okay, So now I am thinking I only have enough time for one country because I want my twelve days to be relaxing yet informative. I don't want to be on some mad rush to get around and see as much as possible in those twelve days, when I could do Chile right and move slowly from the arid plains all the way down to Tierra del Fuego. I plan to stop in Lake District for a few days as well as go to see Pablo Neruda's house. I want to be some place where the beauty of the moments speak to me softly and the words linger in my head long after I have left the country. To tell you the truth I sort of forgot Neruda was from Chile until I was poking around Border's last night looking for a decent travel book. After that I perused the Poetry section and saw his name and then remembered his roots.
I look forward to my trips to SF, Boston and Santiago sooo much! But even my little trip to Kauai on Monday was nice. I think it has to do with knowing I am free. I was thinking about foregoing my trip to Chile and just doing some island hopping around here so that my money stays locally to help out the struggling businesses here that are facing 50% occupancy rates - but then I thought, "nahhhhh", this is MY trip for ME. And I want to see Chile now, or else it could be never. I hope Chile is as magnificent as the tour books suggest. I may spend an inordinate amount of time on boats as a transportation mode but that sounds tantilizingly refreshing to me. As long as my boat doesn't capsize around Cape Horn and I end up freezing in the Artic Ocean and then my body drops to the bottom of the ocean, never to be found again. That would really put a damper on the whole trip.

and what you give is what you get!
It's Sunday night and I am planning for my trip to Kauai tomorrow. It's nice because I have lots of things going on at work to keep me busy until I leave so the time will go relatively quickly. It can't go that fast because I will still see my boss a lot before I am free, but it's a Start!
This weekend was like a start because I did lots of different and new things. First I went to see To End All Wars, which is like a shorter, smaller production of Bridge Over the River Kwai. It was made locally by a guy raised in Kona. However Mando thought the guy introducing him said a Colored boy, but he really said Kona boy. that was pretty funny. then saturday morning Mando and I hiked a trail we had never been on. It was a fun, twisty, wet trail with many different options. We would have gone on the longer loop but we were pressed for time. Plus we weren't prepared for the intermittent showers. We came out of there pretty dang muddy.
after the hike I heard this local guy named Daryl play at a bar in the Ala Moana shopping center and he was good! I couldn't believe it. I also got some shrimp from that lame chain restaurant Bubba Gump's and those were really good too! then I capped my night off by going to see Lantana. (if I didn't mention it before, the Hawaii Intl. Film Festival just started) I wouldn't have known that Lantana was a type of plant if the lady next to me didn't hip me to that in the very beginning of the film. That was a pretty good film even though it gives marriage a pretty bleak forecast. I actually was glad that it had a semi-sweet ending. I needed a little upper to leave the theater on. It was a bit slow though. Next festival film I see will have to be an action or comedy flick. I can only take so many depressing films in a row.
What keeps me happy is knowing that I will soon be traveling. Mmm. I can't wait. Too bad my flight to Kauai is at 630am because it's gonna take a lot for me to get up on time. I watched those wonderful Diamondbacks conquer the Yankees in glorious fashion tonight and had a couple beers to aid my smile. So now even though I am beat I must press on and get some prep work done for my trip tomorrow. At least I can do the work with a smile deep in my heart knowing I will soon be free.
For my poetic notion of late I was thinking about broken fingers clutching realized dreams. I don't know about you but it gives me a good visual. . . similar to seeing Gonzalez hit that gaming winning blooper to left-center field. ahhh, I love it when my team wins, because in some tangential/vicarious way, I win. And even if I have broken fingers, that's all right with me.