long after it has past, with ample time

Spectacular, spectacular notion 3-13
That's how I would describe Moulin Rouge. A nice production, excellent cast (although I am always a bit iffy about Nicole Kidman) but wafer thin story line. In a way it sort of reminds me of Claire Marvel. It is so easy to throw death into the mix to make things seem more powerful and immediate. I liked them both but I can't see Best Picture for Moulin Rouge. Perhaps in being nominated the Academy sends a message that creativity and large productions will always be rewarded. perhaps. I wanted to like Moulin Rouge more than I did but that story seemed like a campy version of a Shakespeare play. I know the director did romeo and juliet awhile back and I really liked it for what it was: MTV meets Shakespeare. This was a lot of beautiful scenery but not much behind the scenes. And if I heard Your Song or that secret love song one more time I was gonna gag. But I am glad I got to see it on the big screen.
As for Lantana, the other movie I saw tonight, I liked it a bit more the second time around. Instead of trying to understand the mystery and whodunnit, I could just take in the performances and perhaps even get a glimpse at what the writer was trying to say about men (and to a lessor degree women) and how they deal with pain and marriage. Which certainly go hand in hand :) But Lantana was good acting, a good script and solid filmmaking. Not quite great in my opinion but certainly solid.
I am extremely grateful that I talked to Mando before I saw Moulin Rouge because he told me it was a musical. he also hipped me to the fact that the director previously did that stylized romeo and juliet. it helped me to have the right frame of mind going into it. otherwise i would have been like, "what the hell is all this singing about!?" Beautiful costumes though, I think I could have appreciated that no matter what. lots of purdy colors.
I am pretty beat after that double feature but I have miles to go before I sleep. Since I took time out to have a little fun I figure I should now torture myself and stay up late to finish a little writing. Not sure if I can do it though. We'll see. Lot's to do before the sandman comes.

Countdown to the hoedown 3-12-02
I am glad Sunday counted for a whole weekend because yesterday was a big zero. The only thing I did of any note was get up early and that was only because Mark's friends were all on east coast time and milling about pretty damn early. We went and had coffee (don't worry, I had hot chocolate) at Peet's and watched the people come and go. That was actually kind of fun because most of them had somewhere to go and they weren't thrilled about waiting in line for their cup of joe. after that Mark took them all to the airport early and headed into work late. It was sad/nice to see them push off because they were fun/trouble. They sure did do their share of drinking this trip.
I am trying to lay low until Saturday. But the more I think of it, the more I want to make sure i take it easy that night. But being out with Chris and Catherine will make it a bit tough to find the buoy of moderation in a sea of drinking. And I am sure it will be a great party. So I won't fear it. I will just go with it. And when Sunday comes it will find me gone.
now it is back to the whole lame job hunt thing. It would be a lot more exciting if I was finding more jobs that I am interested in. Right now I am just seeing jobs that would be okay for now and that's not really what I want to do - settle for something. But time is tight so I at least have to make a stronger effort in my searching. Knowing I have enough frequent flyer miles to get me to europe makes it a bit tougher to focus. In the back of my mind I keep thinking well what if . . . And that is very tempting. And it's always in the back of my mind.

One day seemed like a whole weekend 3-11-02
Yesterday started early and went late. I got up early because I knew I had to clean the apartment before Mark and his friends returned. I had really spread out while he was gone and the whole place was a mess. but I got all that done, made myself breakfast and felt good about being so damn sore from yesterday's hoops. I finished just in time to get out the door and over to the Opera Plaza for Last Orders.
I liked Last Orders and its simplicity. A bunch of guys working out their feelings on the passing of their friend/father. It was a good movie to see with a group of friends. However, after the film Monique and Action bolted so Chris and I were left on our own. We put the felt seeking homing devices on and headed straight for Route 101. It was wonderful to see their Guinness on Draught neon sign as we walked up the hill. I knew it was gonna be a good time.
However, as I strolled in to Route 101 and smelled it's quite dankness i had no idea I would be spending the rest of my afternoon there. It started out with Chris and I exchanging wins and 2 to 2 soon became 9 to 9. Then Manuel showed up. that poor bastard didn't know what he was in for. He must have played eight games before he finally won one. I had just beat Chris to go two games up on him and I was sort of feeling sorry for ol' Manuel. He was a real nice guy (although that Country music he put on jukebox was very distracting/annoying) so I played "soft" when he beat me. And then he got to play his friend and beat his friend.
This may sound odd but yesterday, as I sat there watching Chris make me pay for missing a somewhat easy shot, I thought, "damn, Chris is good." He can make bank shots that I can't even make in my best dreams. And then he can make long shots, whatever. he's good. I think if we played 9-ball, which is a game that cuts out a lot of the luck factor that 8-ball embraces, he would beat me a lot more often. a lot more.
We finally left Route 101 after being there for six hours. I couldn't believe it. We ambled across the street to Village Pizzeria and got a couple of slices. I have never been happier to get a little sustenance in my body. Those four or five Guinness had me feeling pretty damn loopy on an empty stomach. But it didn't end there. When I got home Mark's buddies got in right after me and they felt like going out for a bit more. Mark was done for the night so I volumteered to herd them over to the Marina Lounge for beers and pool.
When we got to the Lounge there was a guy playing pool by himself. I figured I would play him and maybe win the table so the rest of us could play. no such luck. I played like ass and he didn't miss much. So Tim, from connecticut, beat the guy. next time I got "to play" was against Dave Stellar and that bastard sunk the 8-ball on the break. I felt used. So in the final game of the night (we only had two beers) I got to play Tim again. And although I started out with some spotty shooting I was able to pull it together in the end and make some bank shots to win. what a night.

a quiet, rainy, Saturday night 3-9-02
I fear tomorrow. Not because I think the big earthquake will hit and I will have to run up Fillmore street to avoid the soft Marina ground that will sink back into the ocean. No, I fear tomorrow because I played a lot of basketball today. The team i was on won every game it played but one. Normally that is great but it really took it's toll on me. All that running in the cold air, jumping around on thrity-five year old legs, it just beat the hell out of me. I could barely walk home after it was all over. And I know if I feel this beat up and sore today, tomorrow I will be one painful puppy. I only took one week off from playing hoops and now I feel extremely old. But it did feel good to win.
I struggled to take a shower and get over to get my haircut after hoops. I have been meaning to get a haircut for like two weeks but have manufactured reasons not to do it. With my haircutting place only a block away from my house, that's a pretty sad record. But I have had fun recently working on my writing sample for job applications. It's a little ditty about Chile. It has me thinking if I couldn't write a lot more about those two weeks and how great that trip was. One thing at a time though. Five pages shouldn't be much but it is taking time.
I just got through watching the Laramie Project on HBO. It's that documentary-like story of the brutal, unprovoked killing of Matthew Shephard. I knew about some of the things that happened to him and how the town reacted but I didn't know a lot. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that his parents showed mercy on their son's killers and recommended that they not be put to death. But the story in general was pretty damn sad for a Saturday night. But being as tired and out of it as I am, staying home just seems like the right thing to do.
damn. I just saw a commercial for Clarinex. No, i don't have anything against prescription anti-histimines, it was the song they used for it. They played the Who's We're Not Gonna Take It. I have always loved the Who because of their sound and lyrics but they sure the hell have sold out in their latter years. I am sure taxes are steep on their huge mansions in England and their other houses across the world, but it sure does suck to seem them sell out so completely. That's why it is so nice that Paul Weller and the Jam always stayed true.
I got five boxes on Friday. they were the ones I sent the day before I left Hawaii. Two of the boxes were filled with books and the other two were filled with CDs. I sure was happy to get my CDs. I love listening to KFOG again but I needed to have my music. there have been many times when I needed some good background music to do some writing by and I was stuck just humming to myself. Now I can hear the real deal. Now all I have to do is convince Mark to get a nice stereo so I can make some tapes and buy a turntable to play those 45s I bought on ebay.
I love hearing the rain come and go on the windowpane. In Hawaii you never get the cold hard rain. It's good to be back. I hope it is raining tomorrow so I don't feel bad about spending my afternoon in a movie theater. Last Orders better be a good flick. If nothing else I bet it will be entertaining and uplifting. hell, anything would be considered uplifting after the Laramie Project. Maybe after the flick Chris and I will get in a little pool at Route 101. It's a true dive bar but it has a pool table, maybe two. It has been a long time - like ten years - since I was there last so I am not sure what it has now. But I do look forward to beating 'topher again.

wake me before you leave
March 8th and counting. I have been seriously contemplating the various ways I can "get in shape" for a big night of drinking. One way is to exercise and make sure all the organs are operating at the top of their game. But then there are two camps divided on the next step. One says I should keep drinking so Frenchie is well exercised and ready to go when the big flood comes. the other camp says I should rest Frenchie so he can come out swinging when attacked by all those alcohol groups. I think I am going to listen to the former group because Frenchie has had his share of workouts since I have returned to SF and he might be due for some "personal" downtime.
On the night of the party I am very sure I can prolong my life by drinking water every moment it is not filled with alcohol, food or conversation. I will also have to be sure to eat lots of bread and very little oily foods. Breads, of course, help absorb the alcohol while oil doesn't mix with anything. Milk products are also a no no. I know how when I am out drinking with Chris/others I don't like stopping for food because it is distracting, but for a long night like the 16th, the key will be small meals, often. Oh, and for me, I have to avoid hot beverages, especially right before bed. The heat goes down and inspires the absorbtion process to kick it into high gear, thus getting you more hammered when you least need it. That often results in some really bad dreams that you wake up to find actually happened. 'nuff said.
I am looking forward to Catherine's gathering in her name. she's got the tale of two cities when it comes to friends. ones that i totally like (because they can stand me) and the ones i fail to see any redeeming qualities in (because they wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire). But I would say the majority of the female friends of hers that i have met are cool. Maybe I should stop analyzing her friends in such a public way because I would hate to have my invite to her party rescinded. And, I don't know they all that well - I just got on a tear and kept going with it.
today is such a sweet, gorgeous day, i can't wait to get out there and enjoy it! i do have lots of little job search related items I need to take care of before I can leave the house but that shouldn't take more than a couple hours tops. I went out for a bit last night because I wanted to see Sully and Freddy. had I known it was so damn cold out I would have never left my crib. but hell, once i was dressed and out the door there was no turning back. especially since I wanted to see the last half of the Cal-UCLA game in a more vibrant setting than just me and my occasional woo-hoos. Cal almost let it slip away when they let UCLA tie it up with less than two minutes to play, after leading by ten only two minutes before that. But they rose to the occasion and the mighty GOlden Bears beat those little bruin cubs. next up for the Bears, the arizona wildcats. last time the two teams played (only a mickey fick week ago) the wildcats beat them something nasty. but if the Bears can redeem themselves this time out it will bode well for the placement in the NCAA tourney. GO BEARS! I would watch the game on tv but that would require me to (a) be inside and (b) be in an establishment that serves beer and you know Frenchie can't have that! Gotta go be healthy today and count the days until the alcoholic olympics. I hope Catherine represents.

two strangers with a past 3-6-02
I saw Pinero tonight and it was pretty good. I just thought it was a bit one-dimensional. I mean all it was was an active camera, moving in and out of color, poor lighting and words spoken too quickly after other words. But it was interesting enough. I still have to rent Moulin Rouge and see Last Orders, but besides that I think I have seen most of the movies I want to see this month.
before seeing the movie I met up with Catherine and Chris for a couple of beers at Vesuvios. It was fun because we were in no hurry and I hadn't seen Catherine in a long time. I guess the capper was beating Vito in pool at Gino & Carlo. He beat me the first time so we actually ended even. I also liked watching Chris take out some dude who had way too much self-confidence. But the guy was definitely good and that's why it was so nice to see Chris dispense of him.
tomorrow I have an interview with a headhunter and she wants a writing sample. it is not the first time I have been asked for a writing sample so I have decided to write a little five-paged story about my trip to Chile and when I rented a car and picked up two separate hitchhickers. It should be easy to write five pages on that day of lots of little events. I was hoping to write it tonight but I don't have the time. And soon I will be one with the pillow. The best thing is that I have the apartment to myself for the next few days while Mark is away. And it is raining out. ahh, so sweet.

Claire Marvel 3-5-02
I finished that novel and I must say I rather enjoyed it. I guess I can't say too much about it because I know some of the people that read this page still have to read the book. I did think the book was a bit over-wrought with similies and analogies. Some worked and some didn't but overall there were just too damn many of them. The one thing that I take from this experience is that I should read more novels. Not more than one a month though, it takes too much time and effort. My brain is pretty full in my old age so I need to be selective about what I am stuffing into it.
Did I mention that I saw Billy Elliot the other day? If someone would have pitched it differently to me (say, as a child in a troubled, working class neighborhood of England trying to find a better way of self expression than the violence that surrounds him - rather than some kid who does ballet instead of boxing) than I might have gone to see it on the big screen. All you really had to do is tell me that songs from the Clash and the Jam are featured and I would be like, "damn negro, that's allll you had to say!" Especially since the Jam song was Town Called Malice and it was completely appropriate in it's use and timing.
All right, Neek is getting mad because I am using her computer and she has work to do. So I gotta get. I look forward to meeting the author of Claire Marvel on Wednesday and seeing You'll Know Us By The Trail of Dead with Chris in April. Now all I have to do is get a job and life will be completely peachy. Late.

a love story in second person 3-4-02
I began reading a novel today. I think the last novel I read in full was The Reader and that was a long time ago. An embarassing long time ago. But, as you probably know, I am not much of a reader. I will keep myself up to date on poetry and read plenty of that but that doesn't really help me much because no one I know reads poetry. Last time I was given the book from a friend who said the book was really good. well the book, like that friend, had it's moments but in the end wasn't for me. I like a good love story. The book I am reading now is called Claire Marvel and it is definitely a love story. I am real interested in what twists and turns it may take before it gets to the end. And like a linear movie with good writing, I always am thinking what I might do differently if I had written it. So far I think I might cut back on some of the analogies and the visual details of every scene. But that might just be because I don't think I could come up with all the analogies and visual details. But so far it has held my interest and I can't wait to finish it. Which is good because I have to return the book to its owner tomorrow! That's a lot of reading for a guy who can type faster than he can read. But, as people like to point out lately, I have time. If it is sunny I will just find a patch of grass and go for it.
The reason I have agreed to read this book so quickly is because the author is doing a reading on Wednesday and I want to be able to ask real questions. Not only about topical stuff but about specific mechanical and aesthetic aspects in his writing. I am glad that McCourt gave him a favorable review because (although I have never read anything by McCourt) I respect his writing, his life and trust his comments. Sure, he could just be with the same publisher who twisted his arm to give the kid a good review but a few paragraphs at the bookstore and I knew it was readable fare. Not that I would necessarily know a good novelist if s/he bit me in the butt, but like Art, I know what intrigues, interests and entertains me. I am incredibly small that way.
It was nice getting away to Sacramento for a few days. I got to catch up with my brother one night and my Mom and sister the next day. My brother and I went down the Delta and took in the sun, stopped in small towns for candy and gatorade and generally acted like little kids with a bit of money. I haven't had Corn Nuts in a while and the red licorice was a treat too. All we were missing was some Hubba Bubba bubble gum. The sun was soothing, the breezes calming and the relaxing thoughts were wider than the river. But it didn't seem to last very long. Soon we were back in town watching No Man's Land. yeah, i had seen it already but my bro hadn't so I thought what the heck. it was something that i thought he would like and it wasn't too long so we wouldn't be in a permanent lull for the rest of the evening. and that's exactly the way it turned out.
Later that night we went to Simon's to meet up with several friends but only ended up meeting up with Clint. He was in good spirits and good health, and it was just good to see him. Sure, it was nice that he was tending bar that night and bought us our first drinks (which he ALWAYS does) but even beyond that it was just good to know he was in good health because last time I saw him I thought maybe his C was coming back.
Once back in the City I was immediately swept up by a couple of friends and off we went to enjoy the sun. unfortunately we ended up having our fun time marred by the absolute worst sevice at a restaurant in recorded history. But maybe we shouldn't have been at that lame, yuppie magnet of a restaurant in the first place. We should have just kept strolling the piers until we found a place a lot less crowded. But hell, no one died of botulism so it wasn't all that. It's kind of like a bad movie, you invested time and money in something you didn't like and that irkes you, but what the hell ya gonna do about it but live and learn. I may say that now but at the time I was pretty perturbed. It made me stay home on a Saturday night and get some writing done so it certainly wasn't all bad.
Because I went to bed relatively early on Saturday I was up early on Sunday. I took a leisurely shower, put my dirty clothes in piles and was about to head out to pick up some breakfast items and do laundry when the phone rang. It wasn't too hard to be convinced not to do chores and go for a walk to the Golden Gate Bridge. It was another sunny day with lots and lots of people milling about. I joked about needing a machete to cut through the hords of people that were out at Crissy Field - well, it was sort of a joke :) I like people watching in general but this was on the overload side of things. And the real bummer was getting to the base of the bridge and finding it was blocked off and protected by national guard goobers. everytime i see those folks i think of how the terrorists won. I know, better safe than sorry, but that only goes so far. After awhile I would rather take my chances with the pool of humanity and see what happens. who knows, maybe it would turn out like Lord of the Flies and given the chance people would be cruel to those who are weaker and unprotected. but i would like to think that Piggy wouldn't get his glasses and spirit broken. Instead it would be closer to something out of a Separate Peace where Phineas is the good guy even though he isn't always treated that way. Hey, I told you it had been a while since my last big read so now they are all coming back. You can hit me in the arm next time you see me if I start mentioning Moby Dick or the Old Man and the Sea. you see I was supposed to read those but didn't.
the weekend was topped off by me making dinner tonight. first i made invidual salads with a light honey mustard dressing. then i baked some salmon steaks that had been marinating in terriyaki sauce, made some white rice and corn. it was some pretty good eating on a Sunday night. the best thing for me was that because I cooked I felt I could control the tv and was able to watch the Simpsons - even though it seemed others weren't enjoying it half as much as I was. maybe they were just quiet because they were eating. me, hell, i was laughing like it was the first episode i had ever seen. when it starts with them walking through Chinatown and there is a sign that says "Toys L Us" you know I am gonna be laughing. anyway, it just reminded me that in the end, though tortured and battle weary, Piggy wins. and in No Man's Land, after all the needless deaths and heartless posturing in the name of "doing the right thing", the winner was the budding love story. which says to me that God is a poet who loves a good love story. even if in the end it is a tragedy.

beware the 16th of March
I really can't even believe that it is already March.