my mum came and i had a chat with her finding out i was heading home and Sean was picking me up there, then we were going to Nathaniel's, then off to the show in Fresno. so i get home and it's just like "oh crap i'm gonna pass out" i barely get the door open before i get immensely dizzy and light headed. so i head directly to my room, put on some musik, and crash on my couch. i'm out for about 20 mins or so at which time my bro came home and we were off. there was a small argument between him and my mum about apples. man that was dumb. though i liked my bro's side of it saying there were "x-3 apples left" since my mum wanted to know how many there were. didn't help neither of them knew how many there were to begin with. so yea, get a lil grub, some drinkage, and head to Nathaniel's. have a good talk with Sean about bandness, but didn't tell him i was bassing yet. i downed 2 of those like 20 something liter waters and some food, feelin better and stable. get to Nate's and Sean and him are wearing the exact same TOOL shirt!!! first thing said was "GO CHANGE!" with some finger pointing. there was an argument about that for something about collars feeling weird and stuff. rather stupid. but it's not like Sean brought another shirt with him. so Nate changed and i was sittin petting Kali a while. such a neet doggie. left for Fresno, it was pretty hotly, killed my water.

we realized how there's NOTHING IN FRESNO and so i find a potty on account of all the water i had. wandered around close to the Rainbow Ballroom where the show was and found nothing but a weird outdoor mall. so instead of more of that we chilled in the bed of the truck. the line to get in started getting hella long...so we kinda were in the end that wrapped around the back of the building. took friggin forever to just get in. like an hour for us to get to the front of the line at least. we missed the first band, whoever they were. they were being so anal about bringing things in too. no studded belts, no lighters, no cameras, i mean fuck, that's just sucky as pants. the others made sense like umm chains and things like that. but still, fuck man. so we get inside, the venue is better spaciously than i assumed it to be. lots of room just to chill and everything, at least double the size of Slims. so we chill towards the middle watching Hot Water Music, i still say they have awesome musik but horrible vocals. a lot of the songs just sounded too much alike as well. but that's a problem with a lot of bands. and for some reason there were hella feedback issues with them. Davey Havok didn't have too much problem with that at all though, it only happened during like one song for AFI, so i dunno what was up with that. ne way, we went and bought stuff, i got the awesome AFI shirt with purple lettering that says "I DISINTEGRATE" (had to look at the shirt to spell that haha!) and on the back says "This hate is fucking real" and ya know, my hate really is fucking real, so take that. Sean bought the same shirt cause it was just that kewl, and he got Black Sails and The Art Of Drowning since they were 10 bux each. cept for the first EP that was only 7, best well be since it's just an EP. ne way, Hot Water Music's set seemed long, i dunno why it just did.

however, AFI's seemed just too short, it probably was too. they might've played an hour, but i'm not too sure on that. but shit, they played so many good songs! it was the best fucking show i've been to since i saw GC at Warped Tour some years back. the first song they did was the first track off of Sing the Sorrow, the one with the crowd yelling, and dude, the crowd did yell. it was amazing! like everyone knew all those words about being "one of us now" and all. fucking sweet as hell and the pit was awesome. Bad Religion's pit wasn't even like that. but i was way up in this one. i hadn't really been in a pit before this show so it was a good experience. started in the back and plowed my way through up to the front. i was maybe a meter back from the official front. the band was so close, i could make out so much on their faces, the details on the equiptment, so rad. when Davey Havok jumped out into the crowd i got his leg and shoe!!! i touched Davey Havok!!!!!!!!! later he stood in the crowd while they held him high, such an awesome effect for the part of the song too. they played so many tracks off Sing the Sorrow. i got to hear Bleed Black while i was still in the pit, as well as older songs like Don't Wanna Fuck You, Morningstar, Girls Not Grey, Dancing Through Sunday, and Ever and a Day. Davie was off key here and there, but not that you could really notice it. the really kewl solo in that one song was fucking rad and the guitarist was hotter than i thought. even more so now that i actually SAW what he looks like in person. and there was even a guy in the crowd with like Davey hair from Days of the Pheonix days. so so hot.

they played Silver and Cold while i was in the pit too, which is what KSCU played for me that morning cause they wouldn't play Death of Seasons cause it had "profanity." it only says "this is fucking real" twice, and ya know what Red? you're a fucking sucky ass DJ and you've never EVER did right by me when i've called in. you really need to be fucking kicked off the show, the guy there so doesn't need you ya stupid brainless bimbo.

i don't quite remember every other song they did, but man it was kewl. during Total Immortal i called Alex and just let the phone be a while and hung up. did the same before that to another song when i called Mike. the only difference being i called Mike after the show and talked to him a good half hour or so. he was doin good and i was in such a good mood. first thing i did when i got outta the show was hang out by the truck a while and yell out "yum yum granola bar bock bock chicken!" there were yells from the cars that passed and AFI blasting from stereos. very very sweet. a lot of nice people were there and we even helped a girl with a car haha. it kinda sucked that most of the people there were pretty young though. i kinda missed a bit here too. i'll go back to i stayed in the pit till about the 4th or 5th song, then i couldn't breathe and getting to the total front wasn't an option anymore cause i was gonna pass out. so i went back and pushed some people, saw a guy sittin out as i passed with a black eye. poor guy, he was sorta hot too. there were sparkles on the ceiling, made the lights and everything really pretty. i appear next to Nathaniel and the way he looked when he saw me was just like "holy crap you look crappy" haha. i was totally soaked in sweat, some of it my own! heh. i also noticed everything i'd had on my arm had been wiped off clean! like totally friggin gone. so i was standin back with him a while, having my own lil party there dancin around, singin to the songs, it was some good stuff. after a bit i had to sit down on a table cause i was gettin woozy again. still boppin and singin though. ne ways, not too many songs later the crowd disperses and Sean appears...even more soaking wet and in a hella good mood. it was kewl though. he said he wasn't gonna stay the whole time in the pit, but then they were done all of a sudden. meh. so that's when we went outside and chilled. then we went home, i washed my shirt so i could wear it today and slept.......oh i had the deepest sleep ever.

as for today i'll post about that later. cause man, this is long!

i miss this Davey so much

man, Jade was so hot. (far right) looked even better last night ;)

Which One of Davey Havok's Body Parts Are YOU?

deinstag,den.september.23.2K3
a fire inside + 6:14pm
i really should be doing hw right now but fuck that. there's just some things i'd rather keep putting off until the last possible moment and then totally forget about them. today was pretty good, skool-wise and everything else-wise. got to skool and ended up chillin with Sarah a bit before class. she knew i was waiting for Travis to show up so she decided to be as late as she could to class so i wouldn't be alone. once Sarah left for class Travis showed up pretty soon after so i wasn't there too long on the other end of the table where Jon and Jim were playing Magic (as if they do anything else. don't they have classes?) shaking the damn table like mad every now and then making it totally impossible for me to attempt reading for psych later that day. Jon was being an annoying fuck and saying hi and stuff. i've got the whole "i'm not gonna look at you so that means you can't see me and you don't exist" thing down pretty good. but he still attempts to establish means of communication with me, i have no clue why. this is when i wish i had Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. anyways i got to talk to Travis a good amount of time today. before Art Hist, between the end of that and my psych class. it was pretty awesome. i actually did work in my Art Hist class! it was amazing, after a while i just started filling in all those spaces that i've left blank for so long on the study sheet. every now and then i'd glance over at what Travis was doing, usually ending up with his head going down with tiredness and boredom, and me snickering to msyelf.

it's really kewl to be making new friends and all. i haven't done that in a long while. or i haven't really talked to anyone that i've actually wanted to talk with knowing that they're someone that eventually can end up as a really close friend. he actually wanted to know about Mike today, which was kinda weird to me, but makes sense with the amount of time that i seem to mention him on here. i did pretty vague descriptions on who he is and what's going on with that, i'd like to go into way more detail with that but there wasn't too much time for that, and then Sarah was there part of the time and she already knew this stuff so i didn't wanna bore her or anything. eventually he'll get the whole story on everything though. it's not like my life is very complicated so it shouldn't take more than a couple minutes right? haha. but just getting to talk to him more really got me thinkin about what i've been doing as of late, and if it's what i really want...i guess there's more things to me than i initially thought.

yesterday i got an email from the awesome Tom! that was fucking rad. it's good to know what he's up to and all since i hardly ever speak to em. hopefully that'll improve once the DSLness is up and runnin. i've had lots of things on my mind and my psych class today didn't help much. it was all about the sexes and how they differ and blah blah blah, eventually talking about how much guys and girls think about sex. man, i didn't think it was THAT much of a difference...but meh.

i tried playin some more bass today after i got home from skool. man the ride home sucked. Josh didn't show up to class, geod knows why the halibot not, but i'm guessing i'll get to breif him on it later. it's not like he missed too much. watch a movie, take some notes, oh yea super tough stuff. got on the bus around 2, about 3:30 or so i think i got home. so at least it was faster than the last time that took 2 whole hours to get my ass home. the first bus sucked though, there were these girls and one guy that were buggin the shit outta me and i couldn't put MxPx up loud enough to drown them out. i mean i could, but when it gets to a sertain level of loud the cymbals and highs go nuts so yea...couldn't do that for long. my current status is "i'm ok you're ok" and Saves the Day is damn hard to play on bass if you haven't really been playing too long. most of what i figured out myself was right and all, but some of those short licks are hard to figure since it's hard to hear the bass sometimes in the songs. most of the tabs i found (yea i crumbled down and looked at tabs...) were totally wrong so i gave up on those WAY quick.

it's about time i get back to work, not that i actually started yet haha. but yea, need to get some reading done for english and a journal entry done. after that MAAAAYBE i'll do some math........most likely not. i think taking a nap is looking a lot nicer. specially when Benji (my mouse) fell asleep on me earlier when i was chillin on my couch. man he's such a cutie. anyways, i'm off.

the start of some lyrics

Bed him well my sweet
In the mourn I’ll see four feet
You aren’t mine so I shall not fret
when you were bed with me I can’t forget

sonntag,den.september.21.2K3
tiresome days + 9:32pm
yet another sucky ass day. okay, it wasn't sucky, but damn i'm tired of days that feel like they're just wasted. ever since skool started i haven't been able to sleep in, so i get up at like 5 or something stupid then try and sleep in and end up getting up around 7 or 8. not that much of a difference really. my dad hasn't left to go anywhere and i see library books on the table so i ask if he's goin to my g'mas. which was in the affirmative. so i offer to drive, get my skool shite together and we're off. driving was nice, i always forget how much i miss it. i love when my dad decides to take the longer route just so i can have a lil more time behind the wheel. of course i know why he does it, but i don't think he knows how much i really appreciate it. the only sucky thing about the drive this morning was that i borrowed my bro's tape dealie so i could listen to cds on my player but the mids didn't show up. his tape was fucked up somehow. so i had to deal with radio. which wasn't too bad. had some good Foo Fighters and STP. twas awesome. when i got to my g'mas my cousin was actually up so i talked to her a bit while i ate a bowl a cereal (mmm those golden grams) and so i was just checkin up on things with her, how she was. she's doin good and actually wants to volunteer places but her age kinda umm inhibits, or no...i forget the word, but it makes it so she can't volunteer where she wants to. she still wants to be a vet though, she'll really have to work at that. and for a girl who hates biology she picked one heck of a career to go into. but i wish her all the best. maybe that's just because i know that it was something i wanted to be once but gave up on. but i know i can be a damn good zoologist, and i fucking will be. so yea, did that stuff, told my g'ma about how the stupid tape thing didn't work and she gave me cash to buy one! she's totally the best of the best ever. later she got me some grub together that was friggin delish! if i were wearin a hat right now it'd be tipped and off to her that's for sure. after my dad was done doing things there i drove to Costco and got some stuff with him. within the whole maybe 15 or so mins i was in there i became pissed off. maybe for no reason at all, but the place was fucking packed. all the carts in the front were gone, people were everywhere, it was fucking hot, and i was getting way irritable. by the time we got back to the truck i just wanted to get the fuck outta there so very impatiently started up the truck and started off to leave the lot...killed it...started up again and hastily tried to leave...killed it...this ticked me off even more cause i knew it was all cause of my impatience. so i finally got us off and i made a stop at the library. composed myself while my dad was in and i sat in the truck. listened to some tunes, tapping the beats and trying to mimic the set on the wheel, the break, and the door. once my dad got back we set off for home. twas an alright drive, wish it were more liesurely. but i was just not in the mood for anything anymore. stupid hot weather. since i've been home i haven't done much. watched Mallrats and had a kick ass convo with Mikey, having a good talk with Pat currently, and still listening to that awesome MXPX cd. i tried to get some work done today too. got some reading done at my g'mas, a lil english written work done at home. and now i'm just bummin. hopefully i'll stay up long enough to talk to Travis before tomorrow. but i'm not sure how long i'm gonna last. for now i'm just trying to figure out things in my head and trying not to over obsess over things.

super funny funny of the day! Matrix Pong

You are ANGER

Which Deadly Sin Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla samstag,den.september.20.2K3
everything sucks when you're gone + 8:43am
so i got the new MxPx cd Before Everything & After. it's not too bad really. it's a big change, kinda like how if you're used to hearing Blink sound like Cheshire Cat and then you listen to Take Off Your Pants & Jacket, it's a HUGE change. for me it was kinda like that with MxPx. it was more like going from Let It Happen to this, and it's just, wow. i never realized how much Mike's voice sounds like Mark Hoppus now. but whatever, it's only on a song or two. but it's an awesome cd. totally a good listen. but it's all about people being gone, and finding out who you are, where you're going. it's great to hear but i guess if you're not in the mood for it it might get ya a lil depressed. that's what happened to me, but then that just fit my mood more than changed it. i love the inside of the cd though. cause the cover as you should know has a pic of Mike. see below

and on the inside there's a similar picture of the most hot sexy Tom. very very awesome.

the rest of the day was just kinda meh. i stayed home doing a whole lot of nothing. i attempted painting my AT-AT but that failed because i ran out of paint of the right colour. so after that i waited till Sean was off work. Nathaniel came here first and i got a ride to Target so i could buy the MxPx cd. came back home and then we went to the Recycled Book Store towards downtown. found another print of Trainspotting that i just HAD to have. so now i have two of the same book, but one of the covers has everyone on it and is the standard Welsh book size, and the new one is smaller and only has Rents on the cover :) very very sexy. after that we came back home and watched a lil Red Dwarf, Joey showed up, went to Jalisco's for burritoness (mmmmmm....burrito) and slurpees. OH! funny funny. the 7-11 we usually go to is now a Quick-E-Mart, and like we went there but their "Icees" weren't done yet. so we were leaving and the guy working there was like "could you not find something" and Joey was like "no we just wanted squishies and so we're gonna get slurpees somewhere else cause those aren't done.." or something to that effect. and we're outside and he's just like "did i just say squishee?" it was hella kewl and super funnie. after that we went to Joey's, i met a new puppie, and we fooded. today we're supposed to get the garage there in order to play musik and Joey has some room things to deal with. meanwhile i should be doing homework but fuck that. talked to Travis this morning. that was so awesome. and OH! i had an awesome talk with Angela last night. man i feel so dumb for not knowing that the one sn i didn't know was her. i should've been able to figure that one out. oh well. but yea it was kewl. tonight there's an Inverness, ToNavigate, Maida, and people show going on. i wanna go so bad. next Wednesday AFI!!!!!!!!!

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Wankmaster Kool.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

my brain hurts + 9:20pm
so my day ended up being pretty kewl. went and got stuff from the Birdhouse and set it all up at Joey's. it's smaller space to play musiks in, but i think i like it better. just because we're closer together, it seems more right somehow. i've decided to be the band's bassist, they don't really know this for sure unless they've read this cause i haven't said ne thing to them at all. but i've decided fuck being stupid in the head and not wanting to play shows when i obviously love bassing ne ways. Mike gave me that lil extra push i needed too (thanks babe!) so now i just need to learn the tunes and all that. should be killer man, just killer. or OH OH, it'll be "savage" haha! other than playing musik for 3 hours and thinking i did a damn good job of it, came home and did some talking on the phone with the most hot sexy Mike. twas awesome. never have much to say but it's just nice to hear from em. it's just so frustrating that i can't go and see him whenever...it just well sucks. i've ended up just wanting to quote the whole new MxPx cd at him too. the whole thing is just so perfect for saying what it is that i feel. for the most part ne way. so this is my fave cd of the moment. and shall be for a good while i feel. my goals go as of follows: pass math class, transfer to state, pay my bills, get a job, some cash, drivers licence (whenever), and fly out to see Mike. this is all i want right now, and it isn't much, so i'm not going to sweat it. i should be able to pull this off. cause hell, i'm just that kewl. i mean i AM wankmaster kool hahaha. ne ways, so my headache is almost gone, being between PA's and full stack just makes my head hurt just a lil bit. slowly i'm going to get my life in order, get my head in order, and then everything will be alright. for the first time in my life i'll be okay. when i'm in another place in my lover's arms, when i can sleep soundly with unfamiliar ceilings above, in a place i've never been or seen in my dreams...this is when i'll be...just be.

freitag,den.september.19.2K3
tadaa! happy geburstag luv! + 9:17am
i don't know whether i fell asleep thinking of him or if he subconsciously appeared through dreams, but i thought of Mike a lot this dream. haven't seen him in my dreams in a long long while, but it was rather strange this time. it wasn't like the other times had been where it was the normal hanging-outage or something like that. ya know like falling asleep together watching Empire, that kinda stuff. this time there was a concert going on, but it was like i was on the opposite side of the stage. so i don't know why, but Blink182 comes off the back of the stage and we greet them. for what reason i don't know. i probably was thinking of them since they have a new album that i'm eagerly awaiting the release of. so yea, Blink comes off the stage, i go and hang out with Mark a while, which make NO SENSE at all since i like Tom. but yea, it's neet for a while. i'm not gonna detail this. and after i get back Mike is there layin out somewhere, so i go lay with him and just hang out. and he's talking with Tom and Travis. so i just sit in and listen. the subject of it all changes drastically once i get there and for some reason i'm now wearing a dress...i hate dresses so much. but yea, and it was just crazy insane. i remember making out with Mike in the dream, but we both had tongue piercings, which was also really weird. i swear that felt real.

other than that weird dream not a lot has been going on this week i don't think. i lost my Gir wristband and it's driving me crazy! i've looked everywhere for it and it's still MIA. i got my mum to send Mike's package out Wednesday, i wish he could get it today but i know it won't be there...not till probably tomorrow *sigh* i guess it won't matter too too much. he never cares when it's late, just as long as it get's there. before i get too much into this i have to say "happy birthday Mikey! weee! you hella made it to GSF year! i've been on this one a while and ya know for me it's been pretty true...oh well. i'll calls ya up later babe!"i'll check on where it's at in a lil bit i think. last night it only said it'd been checked in at the post here, so i'm hoping it'll be there now. gotta call my babe up and wish em a happy bday sometime today, hopefully he won't be too busy to talk to me for a lil bit...meanwhile i have a whole lot of nothing to do today. talked to Travis this morning though. that was awesome :) cause it's always kewl to be able to get up and have someone be on that you actually have been wanting to talk to. i just hope he disnae think me too strange, specially after drawing all over my arm in class. i mean even though i know i've been doing that for years because of pure boredom he may not. most people think i'm strange because of that. i read over the past few entries of his blog and ya know, it's good to find out that there's someone else that thinks the same sort ay things. like when i was talkin to him a few days ago and was totally wanting to keep a conversation going but there just wasn't much to say at the time, though more of it was on Jonathan and Marcus bugging the shit outta me. i mean Marcus is alright and all, he's a kewl guy, but Jonathan can get on my fucking nerves. (dunno if he reads these, but oh well) he acts like my bro used to like when he was a fresman at Indy. i mean when i got to college i was hoping i'd have to deal with less retards and people with immense immaturity, but i guess i was wrong. i mean these people are how old? they need to fucking grow up. not that i'm saying they need to act like adults, but i mean have some level of maturity instead of being ignorant doss cunts that're worth little more than gobshite.

least yesterday i got to talk to Travis a lot more, that was so totally awesome. even though Jim kept butting in whenever he damn well pleased. he talks so unneccessarily fucking loud *argh* got on my nerves. but ne way back on Travis now:it's so kewl to find someone who knows what the hell i'm talking about. cause most people i talk to don't know anything about local bands and things like that, so it was nice to be able to talk to someone about em. even if half of them he didn't know, and half of the ones he mentioned i didn't know, that just makes it kinda funny hehe. and it's also neet to talk to someone that i feel is more on the same level, even if i may seem like i goof aboot and things like that i can be a pretty normal sort of person, that is if i choose to be. i guess i just get so used to hanging around people my brother's age that i get frustrated with most of the people that're my own age.

more than all of this i'm dying to get out of this stupid house. i'm so tired of my mum's constant bitching for things i didn't do, or didn't know i did, or didn't actually do but somehow did because i'm still getting blamed for it...*URGH* so tired of all the shite. if i had a stupid job i'd move out now, i really would. make my bro help go find a place and have the both of us move out. and make my mum get my stupid insurance so i can finally go and get my stupid driver's licence. i'm so pissed that i'm feelin that by the time i have the geod damn thing i'll be 20. it's just stupid. i'm tired of being stuck at home, i want to go and see Mike but i know that probably won't be possible unless i just buy a ticket and leave a note saying "went to the airport, will be back in a week." i would get so much shit when i got back home though...in the immortal words of Reel Big Fish i leave you with this "EVERYTHING SUCKS!"

montag,den.september.8.2K3
if you knew this was killing me would you stop? + 9:24pm
well i'm just chillin at home as usual. i don't really feel like making a super long entry tonight, but who knows, it might end up that way. i went back to skool today and geod i hated it. it was to fucking early to be up and about. i was awake from my first class amazingly and just kinda not paying too much attention. when i was waiting to get in i saw a hot guy who also happened to be in MY class. it was pretty sweet. we were doing introductions today which i didn't enjoy too much, i felt like a retard when i spoke. but oh well. i found out that the hot guy's name was Michael, just what i need right? yet another hot Michael, the funny thing was that he did look similar to my Mikey. too too crazy. and my book was by a Mike, and my math book was by another Mike...i think they're all trying to tell me something. and that hot guy used to be in a local band apparently and graduated in 97, so he's gotta be like 24. but he doesn't do the band thing ne more but manages ppl like Smashmouth and TATU, how neet is that? and he's a drummer. kinda reminded me of what the Stunt Monkey drummer looked like a lil bit too. so i was gonna check up on that when i got home, guess i forgot. not hard to forget when you sleep through half your math class, read Porno for the rest of it, and then take 2 hours on the bus to get home.

oh yea, i had a WONDERFUL day...hopefully i'll be more awake tomorrow. it'd be nice if Josh could gimmie a ride home again too..........it's mean to like bum rides all the time...but no one wants to ride 2 hours every day just to get home when i could be there in like 20 mins. *sigh* oh well, we'll see how things go tomorrow.

i've been talking to Jess and Carolyn a lot today, which was pretty kewl. haven't really talk talked to them in a good while. and me and Jess talking a lot is a new very kewl thing. hopefully it'll keep going. i haven't heard from Sam in a while, hopefully she'll email me back soon. other than that i did some math today, a lot of reading, and i'm tired. my eyes were tired a long ass time ago and the rest of me has almost caught up. i spent the last who knows how long listening to Juliana Theory and going over my life and that was pretty depressing. i also almost had a lil nervous breakdown because of my math work and how i realize i don't remember crap and that freaks me out. so i'll just go to bed all cheery and happy and hopefully i can wake up that way.

dienstag,den.september.2.2K3
meow + 1:55am
there's so many things that went on, but well, i'm not gonna take time to say them. so i leave you all with this last thought before i go tae bed.

is it wrong to be jealous of a cat? (as in affection it may receive, not the general lifestyle) think about it.

link to me

mates

mikey|SpikeyMikey
angela|angela grace.
zac|personal log
johnny|johnnyonline
alex|eternityinabox
josh|gendo

bands VariousEm
Sold Separately
The Other Left
Nothing Special
To Navigate
The Muckruckers

archive
march 2k3
april 2k3
may 2k3
june 2k3
july 2k3
august 2k3

Powered by TagBoard Message Board

du url shreiben(smilies)

rad g3:final heaven
Trainspotting Scrnplay
AtomFilms/Desserts
KSCU
WarpedTour
The Living End Game
TROGDOR!
comix