donnerstag,den.august.28.2K3
veritas aequitas + 9:59pm
so sorry to not update this in soo so long. but i guess for a while i was kind of well "busy." i became addicted to Star Wars Galaxies after Sarah let me borrow it so i could play. geod, it's such a friggin awesome game. so far i'm working on being a scout with marksman and medic abilities. it's working out real well, and i'm racking up my Imperial Faction points. so far i've gone up from the lowest rank to the next. so good to be promoted. and all the wookies i meet are so nice :) they help me out a lot. other than that i've been doing a lot of staying home and doing nothing. though yesterday i went and hung out with Sarah which was pretty awesome. we went to the Aussie store on Winchester and i got some random things. Tim Tams, Kangaroo Jerky, Aussie condoms, things like that hahaha. but yea, it was all good fun. drivin round downtown to take her Mum to class at SJSU, we heard some good musik, had some Weinhard's Root Beers that were foaming over like mad. some motorists gave us some strange looks haha. that night i got Nathaniel to take me South Side and we tried to see Mars from the backyard at his rents' place. it was kinda neet, even though it was so far away. i've been downloading a lot of Futurama too. i've seen quite a bit and made sure i got to see when Bender was God, and then he meets God haha. today i watched Boondock Saints which is one of the kewlest movies ev-er! it had Sean Patrick Flanery too, so so hot and sexy. though not as hot and sexy as one particular Mikey i know ;) hee hee. other than that i've been catching up with German, which pissed my Mum off cause i was on the phone a rather long time. poor her, not being able to use the phone for one whole day out of all the others where that's all she does. jeebus...so now i'm sitting here...listening to Dashboard Confessional, Mike left me with some heartwarming statements. i'm just sitting here, waiting...like a sad puppy. *sigh* that's all i am...
And shepherds we shall be, for the my lord for the, power hath descended forth from thy hand. That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to the, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
Il Duce In nomine patri, Et filii, Et spiritu sancti.
deinstag,den.august.19.2K3
polar bear day + 3:12pm
so the deal of the day has pretty much been polar bears and nothing but. sometimes i forget how much i love dems guys, just cause they're so awesome. spent a good part of the day looking for a polar bear rug that's not genuine, like maybe made of alpaca or sheep, but not polar bear, that's just horrible. you may say that an alpaca or sheep rug looking like a polar bear is just as bad, but i only thought of those cause i knew that'd make them soft. if i can find something simulated that's pretty soft i'll be happy with that. but it needs a head and cute paws, this much i know. i also thought i'd be neet if i made a blanket type deal that had a hood on it like Lain's bear suit, cept mine would be white of course. still it'd be neet.
other than that i came across some rather interesting things on my quest for that rug. for one, i found an article about a purple polar bear. apparently it's coat turned purple as a side effect to some medication it was taking, the vet said that it should grow out a normal white coat in a the next few weeks though. pretty interesting if you ask me.
now just look at that polar bear and think "just what if it had poka dots instead?" that'd be pretty funny. that is if you remember that Dr Seuss book "Put Me In The Zoo." pretty damn kewl book. anyways, the other stuff i found was just disturbing. so many taxedermist sites, so many dead polar bears, just so they can be rugs for shite like us to walk all over them. it's just horrible. site like this one
Acrtic Art Sales make me so sad. *sigh* anyway, that's about it for now. other than all that shite i've been playing FFX. got to yet another battle with Seymour that i just can't get past *argh* but soon my friends i will conquer all. i'm almost in Zanarkand, just need to get through the mountain, so close....soooo close!
~some time later~
alright, so i went out with Sarah and her Mum and saw Bruce Almighty. very VERY kewl movie by the way. had me laughin a whole bunch of the time, even before the movie started. there was hella this noise coming from the speakers in the theatre that were like Atari i swear! me and Sarah were like "dude! Space Invaders!" it was totally awesome. during the movie there was sucking lil kid behind us who never shut up and kicked people, and hat guy in front of us who kept fixing and moving his hat for no reason. i mean how many times do you really need to take it off and put it back on during a movie!? you're inside moron, it doesn't matter in the dark either. ne ways, after the movie we said our goodbyes and i installed the borrowed SW Galaxies. i was really happy when it finally finished installing. then i had to wait for it to update, then i was happy :) but now i can't play cause my comp doesn't have a good enough processor and that makes me mad, and very very sad. so i can't play until tomorrow *sigh* stupid waiting for good things...
montag,den.august.18.2K3
just some more chill time + 9:25pm
ah good ol' Montag. funnie that the guy in Farenheight 451 had that for a name, very funnie indeed. today was spent rather frivolously, but i didn't leave a mess in the kitchen when mom came home which i'm sure she's thankful for on the inside and only bitched about all the other times i didn't clean up as more of a "thank you." i spent the whole day laying around this boring house that contains little to no food of my wanting. it kind of sucked in that respect. i also slacked off and didn't call Target like i'd intended to do, i think i'll do that tomorrow morning. i will. other than that i was trying to get a hold of Sam's friend just to even talk to her but she kinda has been being offline, blocking one of my sn's, and who knows what else. so i'm gonna give up on that pretty much. weeeeee! Inuyasha episode 119, very very exciting stuff. and yay! Sango finally shows some sort of affection for Miroku-sama. that happied me so much, the sad touchingness of it all *sniff sniff* it was sweet sadness...*ahem* ne ways, back to the rest of stuff. umm....i should be getting my Obi-Wan tie in the mail soon, and i'm gonna write some emails to people today i think. i played a lot of FFX for a while, had a quick chat with Gabe, talked more to Jason which is pretty awesome. my hot sexy Mikey is doing well and having some well deserved chill time. my mice like rice, and well, i'm pretty much done here. OH! listen to the new Blink song, it's mad crazy, and more like stuff on Take Off Your Pants and Jacket. not bad though. that's it for now kiddies, catch a hot one!
samstag,den.august.16.2K3
the laziest of Saturdays + 10:02pm
i guess i should probably start everything off with what i did yesterday. to tell ya the truth, i really don't remember much of the morning. but after Sean got off work we went picked up Alison, off to the Birdhouse, got Jeremy and Nathaniel and went out for coffee at some lil nice place. i didn't know how the coffee was since i wasn't allowing me to have any considering the amount of ouch it had caused me the night before. so i had some orange juice-ness instead. after that we all went ice skating. first we went to the ice centre over where i used to work, but it was so packed, we just went to the rink at Eastridge instead. there were less people, but more lil kids that would swerve in front of you when you least expect it and come totally out of no where, like they were really planning on making you die. i wanted to pick em up and throw em off the ice sooooo much *shakes fist* lil bastards. but it was really nice to skate, i really wish that it weren't so solitary for me though, cause Sean and Alison kinda go off on their own and talk about things while Sean wants to learn how to skate better and do tricks, Jeremy hadn't skated in forever but just picked up so quick and was gone, Nathaniel kinda piddled around the rink the same as always and i'd come by every now and then, say a few words, shake him up a bit. there just wasn't much other than that to do cause i was concentrating a lot on lil kids and not dying. after some hours of this i go and take of my skates cause they're killing my feet. we tried exiting the mall from where we came in and realized since it was like 10 and the mall was closed we were locked in there. so we started to walk down towards the rink again and found an open door that had a hallway, at the end of the hall hung an exit sign with an arrow. might as well follow. so we got out following numerous exit signs that pointed every which ways through the gut of the mall, pretty neet. we ended up at a docking bay and dumpster that stunk bad.
next we went to go get some burritos at Jalisco's and back to the Birdhouse to eat and watch Trainspotting. most of the night consisted on me being ready to watch Trainspotting but what happened was long amounts of time used making long island iced teas and reading Simpsons trivia. during this Joey came and we had our hugs and said our hi's. then it went back to Simpsons trivia. this annoyed the shit outta me cause i hadn't seen Trainspotting in a while and had just finished the book recently, so i just started the movie while people jabbered on...they soon shut up. Jeremy and Alison had never seen the movie, so they pretty much were paying attention. well Alison was, i'm not sure how much Jeremy could heh. after the movie was done everyone chatted a while. and well by 3 or so i was pretty much done with people and since i'd only slept 2 hours in the past now 51 hours, i was ready for a good nap. if i'd continued staying up i would've only become more pessimistic and cynical. Sean took Alison home, and then we finally got to our own. it was like 4 in the morning, i hated everything until that one moment after my graceful fall onto the comfort of my bed. nothing mattered anymore, my head plummeted into the pillow that didn't even seem like it existed, more like it was a dreamweaver that had instintaneously put me to sleep and given me dreams on the spot. at that time i was happy to be on my crappy bed that has a mold where i sleep because i hadn't flipped it in ages, with the sheets strewn about and the jedi tiger at my side, oh yes, this was my happy place for a good 9 hours.
now on to my Saturday morning. i got up around noon to only Sean being home. go to take a shower and when i'm done everyone is gone...my family had ditched me. my truck was still home and i couldn't drive it, i was sad. so i had some food, played with mice, chatted online a while. Sarah then came over for a good hour or so and we talked about things that had been going on with us, cabbages and kings, we talked of Star Wars and boyfriends, just anything and everything. not too bad really. she left with some borrowed anime fixes, and i made food and watched Men In Black II since i hadn't seen it yet. i liked it better than the first and Johnny Knoxville was pretty hot considering his role. go him :) after that i went online again, chatted, played FFX for a half hour or so, and now i'm back on the comp. today is a sad sad boring long day. Mike said he might hit me up with a call or somethin later if he remembered...i guess he forgot :(
freitag,den.august.15.2K3
coffee is evil today + 11:56am
yesterday was pretty damn kewl considering it didn't really get going to like 6 or 7. but meh. did some good hanging out with Aubrey on the beach, chatting online with her about how she's doing with things in her life. very interesting if i do say so myself. when we went to get Nathaniel at the Birdhouse there was a guy in a car with two olderish looking gals, i just pointed and said "damn that sux ass for him" to which Sean inquired as to why and i merely said "dude, just look at that girl, she's like total bitch, and obviously he's tagging along" and Sean was like "yea, even her hair is bitchy" so we laughed at them a while, even more so when the guy in back told the girls in front we were laughing at them and they sped off haha. another funnie thing was when me and Aubrey were commenting on something and at the same exact time say "that's just horrible." so fucking sweet.
on the way to the beach we passed that Herbal Shoppe that has the sign in front that always changes. this time it said "Follow Your Heart" which was really funny considering what Aubrey and i had been talking about, even more so when i talked to Mike later that night. the beach was pretty as ever, the stars came out slowly and as always i said one of them was a planet since i believe it to be. i still think it was. we saw some other people on the beach, commmented on how they were stupid, then came back home. Sean made me and Aubrey some quad white mochas (so incredibly good) and we sat and chatted more about things going on with us. i had Aubrey watch some of that tape Mike sent me a long time ago cause she never had and she needed to see the hotness ;) that was a lil after Mike had gone to bed me thinks. i wish so much i coulda been sleepin with him then. it would've been nice considering the coffee gave me mad problems with stomachness. so i had coffee at like 2am yea? then i try to sleep, get up around 4:30 and puke, try to sleep only getting 5 mins here 10 there, getting up again and again tae piss, it just really sucked. i still haven't had much sleep and for most of the morning everything seems like i'm looking through a glaze of pixie dust. hopefully this'll wear off later.
i went on to finish reading The Gun Seller today :) such a good book. so next on the agenda is reading Porno, then probably my Alice in Wonderland book, cause i really wanna read Through the Looking Glass. been listening to GC all morning, it's so fucking theraputic i love it. i feel so much better than i did when i first got up at like 6 or 7 this morning (yea i couldn't sleep in...). so that's the haps on my end. ima head out for now. there's more i need to say, but i'm too tired to get it all out.
deinstag,den.august.12.2K3
spin planet spin + 3:55pm
well it looks like i've finally taken the time to make this site really really nice :) it hella pretties. but i'm still pissed off cause the pix don't wanna match up no matter now many times i try and fix it. it's just *ARGH* but yea, i'll just leave it be for now. i've been listening to Reggie and the Full Effect with some Saves The Day all day. pretty good stuff, love it, just lurve it. i got to talk to Mike last night too which was totally awesome. it was funnie that we were both so tired our conversation was half just noises of being tired. but it was kewl, getting to just hear him after so long of not talking to him on the phone. i miss how i used to talk to him like everyday. maybe that'll start up again once skool is in *sigh*. another thing of yesterday was kewl was i went and stopped at the park just to spin on the things that go really fast. went 3 times, then got up, fell 3 times trying to walk, spun again, felt sick, sleep. that kinda sick was like pizza and smirnoff. it just isn't happenin...that's it for now. late.
You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
samstag,den.august.9.2K3
ah yes again + 11:17pm
i really don't know why i bother doing anything anymore. i mean i have some things i'd really like to get done but it's not like they'll actually happen. no matter what i do or how close i get something always fucks everything up. maybe i shouldn't even bother anymore...but giving up and giving in, that can't be the answer. stuff goes on to make things in my head all messed up, dreams make new false realities that i hope to escape into but end up making things even more worrysome. i'm not at a wits end, but i'm getting to something. i'm really starting to just hate this summer in general, or maybe Sean deciding to be pissed off all week is getting to me and so now i'm just being pissy for no apparent reason. i should go to city and get me some more snickers mocha, that seems to calm things down for a while at least. i just have enough happening to screw me over, just enough to drive me crazy, but then still not enough to keep me occupied and my days pretty boring. i'm just not sure what to make of it all, but i might just say that i hate this summer. there's been good parts in it, i mean REAALLLY good parts, but there's just been so much more bitchyness and crap...ugh
(and people bitching about me not playing bass in their band and things like that does NOT help at all and you all have to understand that playing in a band is awesome and everything, but it's not something i have aspired to do all my life. it's not a goal that everyone has despite what you think. so don't bitch at me for not wanting to play bass and get over it. set out an add or something.)
i'd also like to take this time to say Mike, i really do love you babe, i probably say it so much that you think that it doesn't mean anything anymore and the words have become hollow. it sux to think that i love you isn't quite enough, but i'm lost for words. there's so much i could say, but i'm limited to what i can do...i just hope that at some point soon that i can tell you all that i've been wanting to say to you so long, and that you can "be my valentine even if you're a world away" (yea i know that was cheezy, but it's a good line) sometime you'll see...just wait.
freitag,den.august.8.2K3
ah yes again + 11:57am
just wrote some really short things, they don't go together at all and are two completely separate verses. lemmie know what you think those of you who know how to contact me. late!
sometimes it's enough to bring the tears,
streaming down the face,
but not quite to where i cry myself to sleep.
but it hurts...so bad.
when i listen to you I get depressed
it's in the way where i feel that i'm alone
need the comfort of someone close
everyone is just too far
they don't exist.
deinstag,den.august.5.2K3
ah yes again + 8:00pm
nothing new here yet. i'm just changing the look around and am too lazy to actually put in an entry. but i did do a new look on my website so take a look at that if ya got the time. obviously you do if you're here. other than that today is a Flogging Molly and Candlebox day, so make sure you listen to your "Druken Lullabies" and "Hey Jealousy." later.
