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Dreamer Bio
Name: Bryan Johnson
Age: 21
Profession: Student
"I close my eyes,
Only for a moment and the moment's gone.
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes; a curiosity.
Dust in the wind,
All they are is dust in the wind."
"I never will forget that look upon your face;
How you turned away and left without a trace.
But I understand that you did what you had to do.
And I thank you."
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Another world was dreamed on Wednesday, May 22, 2002 :
*on his knees, shouting to Heaven* WHO AM I?! Who am I, that I deserve this, God?! I lie, I decieve, I'm slothful, I'm lustful, I'm hypocritical! I ask you for a miracle, and you offer it to me in exchange for a small display of devotion. I break the covenant. But instead of withdrawing the miracle entirely, you work a completely different wonder, to fill me with certainty of fear and shame right up to the point where I can't bear to claim your name.
It was just over a week ago now. I still can't believe I did it. Not only did I make a mockery of you and my faith...not only did I throw away a chance to witness an honest-to-goodness miracle, and a chance to witness to a dearly-loved friend...but I dared to admit, by show of evidence, that there was something I held above you.
I wanted to die that night.
I wanted even more to die the next morning, when I had to face the results of what I'd done.
All week I've been too ashamed to speak to you. I wouldn't have dared call myself Christian if anyone had asked. I'm not worthy...I'm not even considerable.
So WHY do you do this to me? Why do you put up with me? Who am I, that you should spare me a second thought? You bless me at every turn, even when I've turned away. I go to visit another church, and get encouragments from EVERYONE that "it'll be okay"...these people don't know me from Hitler...and the sermon sounded like it was written specifically for me...and the testimonies make me think someone's holding up a mirror to me and talking for me.
Who am I? I think I finally know. I'm no one. No one...except your child. I want to do so much, but I'm utterly incapable of doing even the slightest thing right. I'm worthless. I'm powerless. Except when you go before me, and I follow you. Then I succeed beyond all expectation, and everything I lay hand to is done. You give me everything, and I can offer you nothing. You do everything for me, and I can do nothing for you. Except be yours.
I don't know why you do it. I don't know how you put up with it. But here I am again. If you can use me, use me. If there is something I must do, show me. Whatever it is, you can make me capable, and I think I can finally live with not being able myself.
All my life people have told me how blessed I am, and I agree with them. You gave me abilities I can't begin to understand, but can only marvel at. Now I give them back to you. Show me how to really use them.
Here is my confession, for the world to see. I am rags. I am nothing. I am incapable of even the least success. I know it, you know it, and they know it. Therefor, if anything good can come of me...if I can accomplish anything worth accomplishing...whatever I achieve, whatever I give, whatever I do or say worth seeing or hearing...they must know it comes from you, and only by your power. Then I will be who I should have been, and always wished to be.
Thank you.
History was rewoven at 10:32 p.m. Another world was dreamed on Monday, May 20, 2002 :
I touch the fire, and it freezes me.
I look into it, and it's black.
Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel...
I want the fire back.
Now, through the smoke, they call for me,
Daring me to dance the flames,
To save the day, or maybe melt away...
I guess it's all the same.
So I will walk through the fire,
'Cause where else can I turn?
Yes, I will walk through the fire,
And let it--
This torch I bear is scorching me.
And the fools are laughing, I've no doubt.
It's time to fry...sometimes I wish I could die...
But no, there's no way out...
Except to walk through the fire.
And I will never learn,
That those who walk through the fire
Will get--
Have I done a thing to change them,
Or have I just left them abandoned?
Is my spirit too far gone to care?
All the warnings I should have heeded...
A higher power still was needed...
My strength alone could not fight this despair.
Still, I'll see them through,
That's what I'm always there to do,
And I will walk through the fire!
So, one by one, they come for me,
Drawing me out of the cold.
But why I froze, not one among them knows...
And never should be told.
I stand before a grave much graver,
Well aware of all the danger
Waiting for me out there in the dark.
But with what power will I fight it?
I'm helpless and can no longer hide it,
And I've already fallen in my heart...
These endless days have finally ended in a blaze
And I've been thrown to the fire.
The point of no return.
So I will walk through the fire, and let it
BURN!!
*fire goes out* *all is quiet for the rest of the night*
History was rewoven at 08:54 p.m.
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At the moment I feel as though I am 
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