Yeah so, I am home from work now. Yesh. I am sleepy, but I have homework to do now. It’s so stupid the way I am... I swear, I was freaking out this afternoon… this was because I had to work. But once I get there I’m fine. I’m so stupid. I just hate the traveling; I am always so afraid of being late. And that makes me swear a lot, I say “I hate my frickin’ job!”, when really, I don’t so much hate my job, I hate having to take the bus to it. Stupid. Today Megan helped me, she is nice; she showed me the way to work.
Last night I went to see the play “Servant of 2 Masters”, it was amazing. It totally gave a new look at Canadian theater, yahoo! Not prairie! I want to see it again! If you live in Edmonton, go see it, it’ll change you! But seriously, I was really impressed. David Storch was in it (playing Benni Panelli), I’ve seen him in a few things now (last season he played hamlet... oh sexy feet hamlet) and I am always blown away by his energy. He has so much control over his body, and expression...swoon swoon drool meow. Also, John Ullyatt was in it, he played Emcee in Cabaret last year, which was great. Gosh, they are too good. And they play together a lot too, you can tell they all know each other well, really affectionate...sigh...
Anywho, tomorrow is Friday. I am glad. I left my bologna hoodie in my math class, I hope no one took it...If they did, they can’t wear it in school because I made it. Iron on iron on.
Artoo Has a blog now?! How crazy is that!? I was wondering when she’d get one. But yes, we were going to that accordion thing this weekend but ... Yeah, sorry Artoo.
I have a lot of work to do this week. It’s already so busy and I think I need to do something about it. I think I may drop one of my choirs. Probably Concert choir, but yes… concert choir, so disappointing. We’ll see anyways.
I’ve got to clean my fish tank (it casts a green shadow over my room) and my room. Then I have to meet with that lady who is commissioning me. Then I have a million other things to worry about too. Also I want to start work on the animation project (which I need to reply to colleen about). Yes. Need.
This weekend I didn’t do very much of anything, I think that was me rebelling against never not doing very much of anything this last few weeks. I have to seriously go through and pick out my priorities right now. I don’t want to be stressed this whole year (like last year) and I think I will regret it if I do the same. Pick and choose, pick and choose.
Speaking of choose, I have to choose a name for my sit yet, that is bad. I am horrible at final decisions. But this blog need one too... hmmmm... yes, that will come soon.
Music: definitely not Leonard Cohen’s “Waiting for the Miracle”. More like… anything Urinetown.
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
12:34 a.m.
Yeah... Um.. so...
On Monday I went to the funeral and stuff. I was a Pallbearer. It went nicely. I met an old man named “Bill”, he told me many funny jokes.
“What kind of flower do you have under your lips? Tulips! What kind of bird do you have in your throat? A swallow! What nationality are you when you’re in the washroom? European!”
There was a lot more... but I don’t remember the others. Yes, Murnum, and the elderly, and funeral smell. It went nicely.
Today, or rather yesterday (I just noticed the time) I had a very good day. For some reason going to that funeral made me feel rejuvenated and happy, dunno dunno. I was surprised to see that even though my audition for jazz choir had gone so bad (well, I thought it did) I still got in. After the tests (which I know I put like As for b# and junk) He gave all of the auditioning gang a pep-talk. Saying stuff like, this year I am being very strict with who I select, this choir is going to be good, damn good… as I left I told myself not to count on being one of the 12. I guess I might have been too hard on myself, oh well. I got into Concert choir too, but... yeah; I wasn’t really worried about that. Because of the new times I’m nervous to see who’s not in it this year. Taryn is not, that sucks. But yeah, secret garden... and she is an amazing soprano.
Halloween is coming. You know what that means. And this year it really counts kids!
Lastly, I looks like the trip to San Fran is a go again. Yeah. I really have to figure out my money now. Christine and I are planning on going on a trip at the end of the school year too, we’ll see. I don’t want my job to interfere with my school or extras, they are just so much more important to me. Take it all in while I can. Tomorrow I work at 6-ish... before I go in I am going to pay 100 muchas to my accordion. Ye-Ha!
Music: Urinetown! Everything Urinetown!
Saturday, September 14, 2002
04:28 p.m.
I’m drinking lots of tea and my mum keeps giving me strange, foul tasting, herbal remedies. I phoned in sick to work last night, I slept quite a bit. Christine phoned me around 10:30. Seems she was stood up and spent and hour and a half waiting for the person who never came. That’s dumb. In the end I sorta just sat on the sofa, reclined, and watch TV. I never watch it so it was a... treat I guess.
Yeah so, I’m sick, and Kim’s sick too. Everyone’s sick. But Kim phoned me today about cheap tickets to Vancouver, that’s a thought! I wanted to check out Emily Carr before I make the final choice to go there so... maybe a few of us could go and check it out. And also stock up on comics perhaps...
But, this morning I watched cartoons. That was great. Then I decided to read Amadeus, that was nice. Maybe later I’ll watch the movie, one of my favorites. (ha, I am writing worse than usual...) Also I want to finish the thumbnails for my comic, and figure out the name for my site. Tomorrow I work at 10:45... groan...till 7:15. But, I ‘m worried about Monday; the funeral is on Monday and I am missing school. I had a Bio test... and also I work at 4, so I’ll have to see what I am going to do. I feel bad because I called in sick yesterday and I hate canceling anything, if I miss Monday, it’s going to be twice in a week. Groan.
I am now involved in the school paper too, so I have to think of a strip idea and carry it out by the 27th, not bad. But, I have no idea what I am going to do, the leader wasn’t very clear on how much room each strip gets either, I’m guessing it’s going to be the basic four panel, I don’t know. Argh. The title of the paper is slightly lame and embarrassing... I’m not going to say it.
Music: 6 Cop Song... Urinetown.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
11:06 p.m.
I got a phone call, it was my dad. My Gido is dead.
It’s frightening to think that when I saw him a few weeks ago he was alive and making jokes. I can’t understand what I saw. Just a short while ago I saw him functioning as all human beings do, there’s something I need to grasp; life? What the hell is life? Is there a point? I wonder if he knew he was near the end. I wonder if he contemplated his death. It’s strange that my day seemed to play forward to the phone call. I had a dark cold day, my head was foggy, and everywhere I looked I kept seeing stupid symbols in stupid things. Not prophetic though, no implication to that sort of thing. It’s just now that I look back on what I wrote in my note pad, about the billowing smoke at the crematorium, seeing it rise quickly and then fade completely, it feels ironic that I wrote all of that down. It’s strange understanding mortality. Maybe I don’t understand it, but it hits me harder now that I’m older. I know everyone eventually dies, I know that I will die, that my parents and loved ones will too, I still can’t comprehend that I think, I don’t know.
I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
09:35 p.m.
Yes, today was weird. I joined the theater club at school, and by joined, I mean lost my pay check to it. But it’s great; I am excited to see all of the swank shows. Today I was having a weird art day, couldn’t draw. But I like having art everyday, that way I will slowly overcome all non-art days. Yes, and speaking of art; a woman I am doing a commission for phoned me to say my emails aren’t coming through. What the heck!!! God, shaw sucks, I hate you shaw!
Yeah, at lunch we had a sit in session for the music of the secret garden. Gosh, one of the pieces is very soprano. I really hope this flu goes away before next week though... lots of tea! After school I had an audition for concert choir, I don’t know if I want to be in it. Mr. K put it overlapping with secret garden, why? Does he not think that people who like the mainstage musicals wont like choir? Well, anyways, the result is clear. None of the strong people are in it this year. It’s really sad. I am also wondering if I want to be in jazz choir...hmmm... And then work and school... and Doujisoup... busy busy.
Gosh, I am really getting into my Doujisoup now, I have to finalize the end though. I am stuck between sad and happy... and also, I keep getting sidetracked with my other projects. Lere’s story is coming along, very long... and then there’s Finn I have to think about to... argh. I can never make final decisions, always changing I am. I need to take my portfolio to school and load it up with uniform paper so I can work on some still life this weekend too. So much to do.
Today I bit into another gross rotten apple today, that’s the second since summer started, I can’t handle it! Apples are my staple, what will I do if I become too paranoid of rotten core!? Oh yeah, golden delicious if you’re wondering. Today a friend said that golden delicious are boring and that granny smith is the way to go...ha! I doubt it!
Anyways, the tea is ready and I have to do the rest of my ruddy homework.
Gosh, I feel like such an asshole right now... Beware! This is so emo! EMO RANT!
Last night I worked till 10:30, I was on a full floor shift, I was having a blast, I love working floor, I got to organize the travel table pyramid. Then I noticed a guy being all nervous and avoiding eye contact, but I saw joan ask him if he needed help and he said he was fine. Finally, after my break, like 3 hours after I first notice him, he’s still there but right outside the staff room door. I go up to him and ask if he needed any assistance. He was really nervous, at first he stutters and then he finally says, “actually, this is going to be kinda... weird maybe, but...I’ve been watching you all night (I blink) and I think you’re really nice... (my ears turn red) w.. would you like to go out with me for some coffee sometime?”
I didn’t know what to say, I just froze. I can’t handle these kinds of situations.
Really, I have no interest in relationships right now, way too busy and career oriented. And the real me, the one who speaks the truth and all that needs to be said, would like to just say, “no”. but it’s not that easy when your put on the spot. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, I don’t know why, and then he gave me his... argh! Then we talked for a while, and I got back to work. After worrying about it all day I get home and sure enough, his name was on call display. He phoned my house like four times during which I told my mom not to pick up. Then my mom gave me the old, “not again Jordyn...” look. Argh. I couldn’t even talk to Christine because I was freaked out by the phone beeping. She told me the same thing... just get it over with. So, yes. He called again... after two rings I pick up. And I tell him, “I am not really ready for any sort of relationship right now, but thanks for calling, who knows what’ll happen in the future, maybe we could be friends or something”. I am such a jerk. I hate myself right now. He was nice, but I don’t know him and I don’t want a farking boyfriend! Also, I am a minor, and he’s not... what the hell. He sounded really hurt, what the hell, I feel worse, don’t put me on the spot. I don’t know how to handle people.
It’s horrible because whenever this happens to me I avoid the person and/or screen my calls. Or I say yes and go out with the guy a couple times; avoid him until I am forced to confront him and abruptly end it. And it’s always stupid too, like weird stalkers, or someone so nice that I don’t know how to talk to him. I am so bad at relationships! And really, I am totally not interested in one, seriously. I’m too busy, I’m in high school, and I’m not the type of girl who thinks my high school and social life are defined by who I’m going out with. Like last year, I was going out with someone who I didn’t even feel comfortable with. So I avoided him until he finally phoned me up (this was a week before his prom) and asked if I was serious about our relationship... I said no and he had to ask his sister to be his escort. I always end up feeling like the asshole.
I feel even worse because he probably won’t even feel good going to chapters anymore.
I’ve ruined chapters for him
Music: ghosts ... Holly cole
Sunday, September 8, 2002
11:30 p.m.
Yesterday I woke up really early to get to work. We’re talking an hour and a half before I normally get up to go to school. I was tired. My manager (one of three) is a jazz singer; he has a really soothing voice. While he was explaining a program on the computer system my eyes were shaking. I hate it when my eyes shake.
But later when I got off work I met up with Christine and Mike and we went to my place and just laughed and stuff. At around 7 we went downtown. I had a piece of lime cheesecake and some coffee, very good. Then we went to see Uzimaki (spiral), which was weird. I can’t say that I liked it, but I can’t say that I hated it either. Halfers. Some of the camera shots were amazing. There was one where it was like “zoom big zoom big zoom big”; I want to try that someday. Also, the grainy look that the whole thing had, wow. The story was... cough... but I liked the idea a lot. It gets me to thinking; was it spawned by the idea that the Anasazi worshiped the spiral? Hmm... all of the Anasazi died too... though they kinda ate them selves into extinction...
Today I worked at twelve. It was quite busy, by the end of my shift I had to put up my “go to next till please” sign so I could do some of the paper work I didn’t get a chance to do because of the constant stream of people that were buying. Also, there is another guy who started at the same time as me, ha, he’s great. We were flaunting the price guns like sharpshooters. Well, they do come with a utility belt! Kim and a friend came in to, but I was to busy to actually talk, he he he, it’s funny when you see someone you know.
When I got home tonight my parent made dinner and we had a nice meal. Wade made lobster and steak, and my mom made salad. I like when we have meals together. We never do during the week because we are all so busy. But when we do we always end up sitting at the table talking for hours. It’s a good thing we don’t use the dinning room table though. It would be hilarious. My parents on either end and me in the middle, isolation Mr. Burns style. I thought about that today.
After dinner I wanted to draw, but when I came upstairs for my bag I notice interview with a vampire was on, so I watched it. Vampire boy love...
Music: one star... the drowners
Friday, September 6, 2002
12:04 a.m.
I am very tired so I don’t want to write much. I worked till 10:30 today. I made a few mistakes and I was more jumpy for some reason.. argh... school maybe? Everyone else who works there is way older than me, I found it hard to generate conversations at first. But I guess they are a pretty bang- up gang. One of the girls there is into art, specifically anime and manga. It turns out she did that crossover comic of Rurouni kenshin in the Animethon guidebook a few years ago. Hmm. That was back in the day when I was obsessed about anime... wow. I remember think it was really good, though many of the picture seemed to be exacts for the actual manga... I don’t know, I think that’s what made it funny though, so that was probably the point. Yeah, there are to new arrivals in for 30 percent off. I saw colleen reading one called “fast food nation”, intriguing. The other that caught my eye is “Stupid White Men”. Ha, we have a lot of copies under the table so I think it must be pretty good. And a guy came in today with a list of books his professor recommended, they were all history books. One of them was the book I was totally engrossed in for half of last year; seriously I read it 4 times. I endorsed it, I feel no shame, it’s an amazing book. He bought it and a few others I want to find now. But alas, I am poor, and I don’t know when payday is.
Before work I went to the library, the Compostella CD finally came in. It was like heaven to hear that sweet sweet music. I need to take a bunch of books back, but I hate having to carry them downtown, argh. Those reference books for buildings (which are stupid and oversized and too long to fix in my bag) and also a few books that I started and then stopped because they were stupid and boring are simply taking up floor space in my horribly messy room. Must clean it, but I know the more I say I will, the more likely I am to put it off another day. Perhaps I should just surprise myself my cleaning it without telling myself to, I bet I’d like that. Also, I’ve been looking for a copy of Alice in wonderland since Kim read it, hmmm, I should ask them to order it in... and wait longer then I did for compostella.
Animation is underway, there are only 5 35s, and we have a lot to do for mediafest. I can’t stand one of the guys in our group, I get really snarky and defensive when I’m around him. *Sob* I don’t mean to... I feel like an awful person lately, and so angsty.
But I think as a group we will come up with something really great. I will try no to be a bossy bosser. I am bad for that sometimes. Anyways, Mr. D wants us to make this most in the program 4D... but all our whole group are totally classical animators. Last year they 35s were totally computer animators...
And yes, big news kids! We finally have our domain... it will be evilsmile.net! I am so glad, you have no idea how glad.
Yeah, I said I wouldn’t write much... I lie.
Music: Two maxims... Compstella
Tuesday, September 3, 2002
10:01 p.m.
Yeah, so, shush. I didn’t update the layout today. When I got home I just made soup and collapsed next to my mom to watch a movie. Sooo... Tierd...I didn’t get very much sleep last night. Ha. But today I was mostly my hyperactive self. Frankfurter squirter and all!
Yeah, school is good so far. I had lots of fun. I have never had so many friends in my classes before. Social looks like it’ll be grand. Finally I have a good teacher. Yeah! The curse of the rude sarcastic arrogant social teachers has been broken! After a two year pause I think it will quickly become my favorite subject again. Animation looks great too, there are only about 5 other 35s though, big big work load I think (mediafest). Photography as a coarse looks wicked. Though, they over booked the class a bit (a lot). I am hopeful ten or so will drop it, preferably the rude ditsy girls who talked during the entire opening lecture. I hate that, why bother coming to class if you are just going to ruin it for others with your idiot disregard for other love of learning. (wait for the nerds to rebel) HA! That sounds more bitter than I want it to. I'm not bitter, just annoyed. Anyways, everything looks great so far. I just have to figure out a few things for post secondary requirements and I’ll be on my way.
Lunch time today me, mike, Kim and Christine went downtown. Kim needed to mail some things and I bought lunch. Argh, in the confusion of this morning I forgot to bring the DS money. Sorry Kim, very sorry An. Tomorrow for sure. yeah well, we had to hurry back to school because we were going to be late, we were, I didn’t touch my lunch until the last block, when it was cold and soggy… and then in the garbage.
Yesh, I am tired so that is all I have to say. Good times. More tomorrow. Oh, and last night I tried to hook up the old record player in my room.. Still working on it. In the case I found my old 101 Dalmatians record, gosh, those are some memories.
Music: Jacks Obsession... Nightmare before Chirstmas. (must get ...special addition...DVD)
Monday, September 2, 2002
09:30 p.m.
Yeah...I’m really happy to be going back to school tomorrow, and adversely, I’m quite grumpy that I am going to school tomorrow. But it will be so great, it’ll be super great. My fabulous “Day A” schedule! Favorites! Well, it’s funny because I actually like all of the subjects I take, with an exception of math (which though I complain a lot about it, I don’t mind too much). Being the sassy nerd that I am, I made up a swank chart for my locker. It is yellow and purple and has a picture of a person being subjected to the infamous “Reception Chair”. Also included in its design are a few little puns (I think they are clever, but everyone else no doubt will not know what to say.) My favorite so far is for my English class, Mr. Howe is my teacher. The panel reads: “Howe’s English?”
Oh ho ho! HA ha ha! So clever, and yet, not clever at all!
The picture I used it most likely this months design for this here blog. I was going to put it up today, today being the 2nd, but I guess I’ll put it up tomorrow.
I hope everyone else’ schedules work out. It makes me so angry that they could screw up so badly when it counts the most. Mine was screwed up at first, but they had sheets at the registration to make appointments. The stupid thing is, the sheet said you need a parent/guardian signature to change things. I was so pissed off I just scrawled in a few disjointed lines (which looked like bbozak I assume) and handed it in. Those bastards can’t hold me back! AR!
Yes, but power to the people! I know everything will work out for you!
Now I must finish my preparations for tomorrow. I think I will take a thermos of hot pea soup, a nice apple, and some rye toast. Mm-mm! Also I am in the process of making a new cd for listening to during my many studio classes. Tee he he!
Music: Where is my mind... Pixies.
Sunday, September 1, 2002
11:59 p.m.
A minute to the next day, a mere minute to the next day.
Glow my lamp light, glow!
My head has been heavy lately; heavy and clicking and in pain.
When it’s like this I can’t sleep because I am afraid of never waking up. Just one explosion within my tense gray matter and it’s all over, and my room is messy and I have never written a legal will. So I can’t sleep.
But I have ideas, ones that I don’t need right now. But they are nice to know anyways.
Today Christine and I rented movies. Practical magic and Sleepy Hollow. Johnny Depp makes me saucer-eyed. Gosh, if ever in my life I got the chance to make one of my stories into a screenplay... Tim Burton (who is my hero) would be my man… that is, I would beg and lick his boots and try to convince him to direct it. The images and colors in all of his films make me drool drool swoon. And then Danny Elfman, Martin Tillman, and Taro Iwashiro would collaborate on the score. And finally lovely Johnny would play the lead (because all of my protagonists are wimpy waa waa types... awww.). Ha... I child can dream, right? Right.
Music: Don’t leave the light on baby... Belle and Sebastien...
Saturday, August 31, 2002
11:57 p.m.
Yeah, so tonight I went with mike to see the super great movie, “Katakuri-ke no kofuku (Happiness of the Katakuris)”, which is most likely the best movie ever. It was amazing, my stomach hurts from laughing so much. Seriously, if I ever made a movie, that would be it. Between the claymation action sequences and the dancing, singing zombies, argh. Amazing. If you are in the Edmonton area, see it or be a sad sad person. Actually, Christine wants to see it, so I may go again tomorrow. Next weekend the horror, “Uzumaki (spiral)” is playing. Mike and I say, “Yes lets!” I smell a new weekend ritual coming on.
While downtown we had a bit of time to wait so we had coffee and cake. Yumm. It was cherry cheesecake. Drool drool swoon. I saw so many people I knew while down there. It’s kinda sad though, because most of them graduated this year. It’s going to be weird not seeing them at school. Well, I’ll be gone in a year too... scary thought. Also there was a crazy old man who thought he was Santa Claus, bless him! We shook hands, and then mike said we should run. We walked away quickly as to not attract his attention further. He had a burgundy house coat on, and a beard... maybe it was Sandy Claws.
Also, I slipped on a banana peel today! All my life I wondered what that would be like... it was wonderful!
You are a very clever fox!
This is a secret message!
Lere: Jordyn, I... I need to talk to you!
Jordyn:What? What's wrong?
Lere: I'm having a problem with page 12 chapter 5 panel 3.
Jordyn: What? I told you before, I'm not changing anything...
Lere: but I don't want to say that! That's too... too... un-evil...
jordyn: That's the point, it's called character development. And I'm the boss, you have to say it. Plus, you have said it before, I am merely a historian.
Lere: Meow meow zip meow!!
jordyn: Don't swear!
Anywho, I want to finish cleaning my closet out. Got a bag of stuff to drop off down town; Shoes I wore once, shirts I wore never. I am an idiot when it comes to shopping.
Music: Evil theme...Nightmare before Christmas.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
10:44 p.m.
Today I met up with Kim and Colleen at ME Lazert to do caricatures, or as all of the students called it…. “Get animated”. Ha! Big difference there, as one is simply a silly cartoon representation of a person and the other is a series of drawings (30 per second) strung together to create motion… bah, I made a whooping 16 bucks! By god, I am going to take that 16 muchahs and meet Christine for lunch tomorrow, buy myself a turkey baguette, maybe even a comic! He he, no, it was a good time. They are crazy about registration. At Vic you just go in and get out, at ME Larzert however, you get to take part in a carnival.
Yeah so, tomorrow I work in the morning at 9:30 and then I am off at 2:30. As I said I will be meeting Christine and we will… walk or something. I think we should probably go to some sort of gallery too; we’ll probably need to do a summer gallery write-up for art. It’s crazy to think school starts in less then a week. I’ve told everyone that I am not doing anything on Friday until I wake up without aid of an alarm clock; I am going to sleep in like never before… I sense I’ll be up by 9 though; I have started a new sleeping habit. I also need to organize my room, go through my clothes, and get rid of the excess, stuff like that. Today, when I got home I procrastinated and nothing got done, I hate it when I do that. NO! I CAN’T DO THAT ANYMORE!! I can’t procrastinate anymore, I can’t I can’t I can’t! argh!
I sold some stickers today too… weeeee! I am going to send the rest to friends far away … how fun! Yes, I am tired, sleep must sleep now.
Music: Come On Eileen…Dexy's Midnight Runners (har har har)
Also: Hungarian Dance No 5... Brahms (The most lively)
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
10:28 p.m.
Yeah, I made it through the web. I am now officially a human being with a bank plan and an air miles card. But god, the computers at the bank were being weird and I was rolling my eyes I was so tired. But the lady was really nice. Ha, and the weirdest thing ever, the secretary mistook my name in the fax for Jocylyn! That is the name they kept giving me in my call backs last year! Ha ha ha! I used my chapters discount card for the first time while downtown. I bought myself a new pencil case, a plaid robot pencil case. No, it’s not a case for plaid robot with pencils; it’s a case with a tartan and robot design. It’s so incredible; I could fly with my pencil case! Also I bought a new Micron, size one. I hate the bloody price, highway robbery! But the guy who was working at the store I bought it in had an Irish accent and was beautiful and smelt nice and talked really quietly but I could hear him perfectly and he was beautiful.
I got a phone call about my school schedule; it’s fixed now, however… (Drum roll)
I have to take my Math 30 diploma correspondence!
I am so glad it worked out other than that though. Animation, which was not on my schedule and the most important, was put on with the subtraction of math and the addition of photography. Wow! I can’t believe how great that worked out, I wanted to take photography but my schedule wouldn’t allow it, so I am immensely happy and relieved.
